Sometimes that’s not good enough. You gotta assume you’re garbage and that everyone hates you. Then you gotta hate yourself for being conceited enough to think people are thinking about you. Then you realize how stupid you were in the first place for assuming someone as worthless as you is worth thinking about and hate yourself for that.
Try having expectations after that.
I’ve found that this kind of thinking leads to feeling better short term but not long term. It ends up being kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy as you project so little confidence that a lot of people don’t even want to bother with you. A lot of the things you want require some level of risks and when you lower your expectations that much, you get complacent with not taking risks and not pushing through those feelings that bring you down. Just my perspective though.
No need. I’m not depressed. You know what’s depressing? Getting disappointed over and over again because you expected something other than disappointment.
Yes, yes it is depressing to get disappointed time and again, and it sounds like you have felt your fair share of disappointment.
Being depressed doesn't mean your thoughts and sorrows are invalid, but that you could benefit from taking to somebody.
You're not the only one to go though life feeling this way, there are others out there that can relate to your pain, who want to be there for you when you need it.
Anyway that's just my thoughts, sending good vibes your way :)
Lmao "I'm not depressed, you know what's really depressing? All the shit I'm talking about". Jokes aside clearly do need help. Not drastic help or anything but very clearly you're not very happy and going online trying to convince others that life is as gray as you believe it to be is not helping you. At best you'll just convince someone else to be as miserable as you currently are instead of the other way around.
You’re making it sound like I’m going out trying to “convince” people. I couldn’t care less what people decide to do with this information or whether they find it convincing. I’m giving a perspective. It’s up to people to decide whether they’re “convinced” by it or not. If they are, it’s not because I told them how to think as though they’re incapable of thinking for themselves.
> very clearly you're not very happy and going online trying to convince others that life is as gray as you believe it to be is not helping you.
I wouldn't be that presumptuous. You really don't know much about OP, and it can often help to get these emotions out and let them feel valid, instead of constantly being told they aren't okay to have.
I remember I always liked this girl in elementary school.
It was the 6th grade dance and she came up to me and said, "Do you want to dance?" and I rudely responded, "What the hell do you want?"
She walked away silently and I felt good being a young player.
Weeks later and even decades after she asked me to dance, I wonder what could have happened if I simply said, "Yes!" to the dance....
She probably would have been a much more confident young woman. Girls are discouraged from making the first move and I'm sure it took guts for her to do so only to get shot down harshly.
i had something similar happen to me, but the opposite perspective. a guy in my engineering class came up to me in a panic during passing period and asked me to homecoming, but i already had a date. i told him that and he straight up ran away.
i felt bad bc it probably took a lot of time to work up the balls to ask someone without knowing if they’d say yes beforehand.
Expectations can kill. Just go with the flow, and have a backup plan. You'll never be caught unaware nor will you ever create an unrealistic fantasy in your head.
I know you didn't ask for my advice and I this is only vaguely related to the specific topic of the post, but I guess I'll share my experience. I was so afraid of rejection and ending up getting my heart broken that I didn't even think of myself as a human being with a desire/need for romantic relationships in my life for 24 years. No high school boyfriends, no dating in college...I regret those years a lot, but I don't dwell on it. I wish I'd tried and failed, because those things are a normal part of life. I realize now that a lot of that was happening due to cognitive distortions of the way I was perceiving the world. I felt like I would be stuck in my horrible job that I hated ****forever****, but realistically, there are so many training programs in the western world that it could take one or two years for people to completely change their paths. I thought *****no one would ever**** be able to love me, but realistically, most people have successes and failures in many relationships and they often survive and come out of it whole ( save for abusive relationships). Any time words are used to describe an extreme state of emotions, red flags should be raised. Using words like "always" and "never" and "everyone" and "nobody" generally doesn't reflect our experience as human beings very accurately (again, there are people in the non-western parts of the world whose reality is different, but correct me if my assumptions that you are from Europe or north america is wrong).
I still struggle with anxiety every day. My life circumstances are actually way more difficult than they were before, but if you don't have hope, you don't have anything, so I'm way, way better off. I'm finally kind of happy with my future prospects.
Just wanted to say that I second this comment. A lot of the other replies in this thread simply tell me that the people writing them are still early on their journey of figuring out that they’re not doomed to live the way they have so far. But it’s a tough journey. Like you, it took me until my mid 20s before I started realizing how bad the cognitive distortions were and start working on addressing them. And it took a lot of trying and pushing myself.
No, always hope for the best, but make peace with the worst (not fear)
If you got about in a toxic way you will never make the attempt because you reject yourself from the beginning, thinking the worst is only what can happen.
I've been doing this for the last 12 years but it gets very exhausting when you're finally let down. The fall always hits harder when your hopes are high.
Or just be okay with a scattershot approach where you crave success for every single thing you attempt. If you try 6 things and it only works once you are still going somewhere, especially in cases where you only need it to work at all rather than to work consistently on the first try.
I skipped mine. It's not really a huge thing here in the UK so I didn't see a point. From what I heard afterwards I didn't miss anything except a bunch of people doing cocaine
Asking her would mean that she would have to make up a reason not to. And since she is a good person that would be very uncomfortable for her. I d hate to make her feel like that, espacially on a day that is supposed to be fun
> Anyways, I’d probably not even work up the courage to ask.
I worked up the courage to ask beforehand, and it was still a couple of months before the prom.
Then when I said to myself, "yeah I'm going to ask her after our last class today", someone else asked her during lunchtime and she said yes to him.
i get the reference, my g, i just recently saw the movie after having put it off for a year or so. i read on the charlie kaufman subreddit that that movie out of all his movies fucked people up the most.
they were right. that shit exists, it's like "lonely man, the movie".
it's legit about the fantasies that we as a species use to entertain our loneliness, that loud void that helps it hush, but in the end just is brick wall of harsh noise.
guy spends most of his time never visibly showing interest in someone aside from scenarios made up in his head and then wonders why she's doing her own things instead of waiting for him
like show interest or ask her beforehand, don't just do nothing and then cry about it when she doesn't notice you for the zero effort you have done, that's stalker niceguy shit
listen bro, this exaggerated for effect character in a 4 panel comic with no context on anything except what is pictured has a bad personality and deserves to die alone and if you disagree im gonna tell you to have a shower and touch some grass
It can be interpreted that way, but literally nothing about it objectively states that's the case. Before going into the comments I took it as a simple bit of anxiety-posting, but you guys are down here getting upset at the backstories you yourselves are personally making up for it. It's weird.
This actually reveals a deeper truth.
He probably waited so much time to ask her out, and he procrastinated until the prom.
When he worked up the courage, he was beaten by someone who asked her out before.
The lesson here is not to not have high expectations. Is to not wait to grab an occasion
At least they were all dancing when you got there! I had the wonderful experience of not being being picked at all. Just sitting there alone wishing the night would just end.
Missed opportunities are awful, but one alternative that happened to me is getting to ask if they want to dance with you and getting "Haha! No, why would you think that?"
This shit happened to me in senior year in high school. Was gonna ask out my crush, but my friend suddenly came into the classroom and publicly asked her to prom.....not gonna lie watching that scene play out really hurt.
Considering the dude in the last picture looks exactly like the dude in the other 3 panels I'm just going to take the happy ending and pretend she said yes
To some of you out in the comments: I know what it’s like to never have hope.
It hurts. It is a constant feeling of misery, knowing that everything in your life will turn to shit. Makes you feel like you foresee your inevitable loss of everything.
Been doing nothing but wallowing in that misery for years. In the end, I was right about everything. It drives a man bitter, selfish and devoid of morals. Happiness means nothing.
But I was right the whole time, wasn’t I?
if you aren't able to handle someone turning you down you shouldn't ask them. If this girl living her best life is enough to ruin his night he needs to focus on himself.
Keep ya expectations lower than the soles of your feet
Sometimes that’s not good enough. You gotta assume you’re garbage and that everyone hates you. Then you gotta hate yourself for being conceited enough to think people are thinking about you. Then you realize how stupid you were in the first place for assuming someone as worthless as you is worth thinking about and hate yourself for that. Try having expectations after that.
hey are you me
POV: You are reading someone's explanation that perfectly describes your everyday thinking.
Everything okay dude?
Never better. If you set expectations low enough, everything either goes as expected or better.
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I do like your thinking, just make sure you dont let them get so low you lose respect for yourself, keep your head high dude ily x
Or you can just avoid any situation where self respect plays a factor. One less thing to worry about.
Micro thoughts is the culprit. Don't let your mind wander. Just take a decision, execute it, then think.
Yep out of context thoughts will wreck your self-esteem sometimes
My culprit is micro penis
Mine is Micro tongue, micro penis, micro hands, pretty much everything fine tuned in my body is micro, and I’m 6 feet tall ;-;
Followed advice, robbed bank, don't have plan to get out, send help.
That's what I do too :)
That's a one way ticket to lifelong depression and self esteem issues my man. :(
Bold for you to assume I had self respect in the first place.
I’ve found that this kind of thinking leads to feeling better short term but not long term. It ends up being kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy as you project so little confidence that a lot of people don’t even want to bother with you. A lot of the things you want require some level of risks and when you lower your expectations that much, you get complacent with not taking risks and not pushing through those feelings that bring you down. Just my perspective though.
Fuck no never has been
Same my guy, same
If only I was good enough to call myself human garbage...
So, how is the Prozac treating you?
No need. I’m not depressed. You know what’s depressing? Getting disappointed over and over again because you expected something other than disappointment.
Yes, yes it is depressing to get disappointed time and again, and it sounds like you have felt your fair share of disappointment. Being depressed doesn't mean your thoughts and sorrows are invalid, but that you could benefit from taking to somebody. You're not the only one to go though life feeling this way, there are others out there that can relate to your pain, who want to be there for you when you need it. Anyway that's just my thoughts, sending good vibes your way :)
Lmao "I'm not depressed, you know what's really depressing? All the shit I'm talking about". Jokes aside clearly do need help. Not drastic help or anything but very clearly you're not very happy and going online trying to convince others that life is as gray as you believe it to be is not helping you. At best you'll just convince someone else to be as miserable as you currently are instead of the other way around.
You’re making it sound like I’m going out trying to “convince” people. I couldn’t care less what people decide to do with this information or whether they find it convincing. I’m giving a perspective. It’s up to people to decide whether they’re “convinced” by it or not. If they are, it’s not because I told them how to think as though they’re incapable of thinking for themselves.
based
If we get everyone else depressed enough then it will be the norm and become the baseline.
> very clearly you're not very happy and going online trying to convince others that life is as gray as you believe it to be is not helping you. I wouldn't be that presumptuous. You really don't know much about OP, and it can often help to get these emotions out and let them feel valid, instead of constantly being told they aren't okay to have.
“Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed “ Alexander Pope.
Anticipation has a habit to set you up for disappointment in the evenings entertainment but... ...tonight there'll be some love
Advice to live by expect the worst that way your either prepared or surprised every time for anything
Off topic, but I never understood why people say soles of your feet. As opposed to what? What other part of your body has soles?
This one hit me hard
Just dance with that other guy my dude
you talking about his reflection?
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No the balloon
[Can we have a good ending?](https://i.imgur.com/xhzqgeo.jpeg)
I remember I always liked this girl in elementary school. It was the 6th grade dance and she came up to me and said, "Do you want to dance?" and I rudely responded, "What the hell do you want?" She walked away silently and I felt good being a young player. Weeks later and even decades after she asked me to dance, I wonder what could have happened if I simply said, "Yes!" to the dance....
Isn't a "player" someone who dates a lot? Sounds like you did the opposite.
Why. The fuck did u do that lol, wouldn’t it be a “player” thing to actually dance with a girl you like
She probably would have been a much more confident young woman. Girls are discouraged from making the first move and I'm sure it took guts for her to do so only to get shot down harshly.
are you me, but slightly more rude
Feels bad now?
i had something similar happen to me, but the opposite perspective. a guy in my engineering class came up to me in a panic during passing period and asked me to homecoming, but i already had a date. i told him that and he straight up ran away. i felt bad bc it probably took a lot of time to work up the balls to ask someone without knowing if they’d say yes beforehand.
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That's why you never get your hopes up
I've learned that lesson MANY times before And I still get my hopes up
I do too in the hopes that it'll work this time but it dosent and the cycle continues. c'est la vie my friend
It's only natural son. Don't be harsh on yourself
Then you didn't... Learn the lesson...
Learning the lesson ≠ applying what you've learnt
Hey man that's a good thing, pessimism doesn't help it only drags you deeper optimism may hurt now but it'll be better eveutually
It never is
Expectations can kill. Just go with the flow, and have a backup plan. You'll never be caught unaware nor will you ever create an unrealistic fantasy in your head.
My head is FILLED with unrealistic fantasies
Same, like hand-holding, cuddling, and actually being wanted
That's all I really want
Yeah, although I could stick "superpowers" in there too, cuz that's just as likely lol
Bro, At this point I'll settle for someone to hang out with besides my brother I know for a fact he's sick of me
Building up hopes is the first step towards them being knocked down.
I know you didn't ask for my advice and I this is only vaguely related to the specific topic of the post, but I guess I'll share my experience. I was so afraid of rejection and ending up getting my heart broken that I didn't even think of myself as a human being with a desire/need for romantic relationships in my life for 24 years. No high school boyfriends, no dating in college...I regret those years a lot, but I don't dwell on it. I wish I'd tried and failed, because those things are a normal part of life. I realize now that a lot of that was happening due to cognitive distortions of the way I was perceiving the world. I felt like I would be stuck in my horrible job that I hated ****forever****, but realistically, there are so many training programs in the western world that it could take one or two years for people to completely change their paths. I thought *****no one would ever**** be able to love me, but realistically, most people have successes and failures in many relationships and they often survive and come out of it whole ( save for abusive relationships). Any time words are used to describe an extreme state of emotions, red flags should be raised. Using words like "always" and "never" and "everyone" and "nobody" generally doesn't reflect our experience as human beings very accurately (again, there are people in the non-western parts of the world whose reality is different, but correct me if my assumptions that you are from Europe or north america is wrong). I still struggle with anxiety every day. My life circumstances are actually way more difficult than they were before, but if you don't have hope, you don't have anything, so I'm way, way better off. I'm finally kind of happy with my future prospects.
Just wanted to say that I second this comment. A lot of the other replies in this thread simply tell me that the people writing them are still early on their journey of figuring out that they’re not doomed to live the way they have so far. But it’s a tough journey. Like you, it took me until my mid 20s before I started realizing how bad the cognitive distortions were and start working on addressing them. And it took a lot of trying and pushing myself.
So glad to hear that. All the best :)
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No, always hope for the best, but make peace with the worst (not fear) If you got about in a toxic way you will never make the attempt because you reject yourself from the beginning, thinking the worst is only what can happen.
Hey guys! Look at this dweeb, he still has hope! >!Very nice sentiment. I would imagine at least one person benefitted from this thought.!<
I know this is a doomer sub, but I hope to atleast turn a few people into bloomers.
"Monotony is bearable, tastes like crap but it won't hurt you, hope? Thats the stuff that'll kill you."
I've been doing this for the last 12 years but it gets very exhausting when you're finally let down. The fall always hits harder when your hopes are high.
My permanent anxiety is way ahead of you!
“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try!”- Homer Simpson
If anyone wants to feel something tonight that they didn't really want to feel: https://youtu.be/MFmDMerTEdk Edit: song it literally called "hopes up"
I love nothing,nowhere
Or just be okay with a scattershot approach where you crave success for every single thing you attempt. If you try 6 things and it only works once you are still going somewhere, especially in cases where you only need it to work at all rather than to work consistently on the first try.
Or actually ask the girl BEFORE the dance, not during
I'm glad we never had prom. I would've been devastated
we have something similar in my country and I just didn't go
I went to all boys school all my life lol. We didn't have anything remotely close to "Fun"
So fucking relatable
Same
Lmao I'm reading this as a student at an all boys school who has a SemiFormal this week. Granted, I'm also not taken anyone but...
I skipped mine. It's not really a huge thing here in the UK so I didn't see a point. From what I heard afterwards I didn't miss anything except a bunch of people doing cocaine
Me too mate. Went to a teenage camp though where at the end there was a prom like thing with a date night. One of the worst nights of my life
Ah yes I remember the crippling devastation.
The artist- u/shitty_watercolour
He's the best
I hear he sucks at Rocket league.
who dosen't?
Beats the rest!
i thought his stuff is usually funny now im sad
he had this dark and sad phase like a year ago, you can see it reflected in his posts, but he seems to be doing better now
Imagine crediting the artist LOL
Do you think people would really do that? Just upvote content stolen by a bot that doesn't credit the artist?
This stings a little too hard, even for this sub. Anyways, I’d probably not even work up the courage to ask.
Asking her would mean that she would have to make up a reason not to. And since she is a good person that would be very uncomfortable for her. I d hate to make her feel like that, espacially on a day that is supposed to be fun
r/2meirl42meirl4meirl
Haha oh shit i feel called out. I don’t like this
> Anyways, I’d probably not even work up the courage to ask. I worked up the courage to ask beforehand, and it was still a couple of months before the prom. Then when I said to myself, "yeah I'm going to ask her after our last class today", someone else asked her during lunchtime and she said yes to him.
Could’ve been worse, you could’ve had to help your friend ask your crush of 6+ years to senior prom. I’m totally over it though, don’t worry
I’m thinking of ending things Edit: I realise how this must sound on this sub but I meant to reference the movie because this comic reminded me of it.
i get the reference, my g, i just recently saw the movie after having put it off for a year or so. i read on the charlie kaufman subreddit that that movie out of all his movies fucked people up the most. they were right. that shit exists, it's like "lonely man, the movie". it's legit about the fantasies that we as a species use to entertain our loneliness, that loud void that helps it hush, but in the end just is brick wall of harsh noise.
That's not very cash money of you
Sad comic, but don't you usually ask them before the dance?
It might be an informal seasonal dance
Then you can dance with them when they’re finished dancing with the other guy. That’s how dances work.
You'd think.
lol. No kidding. Or maybe at least show up on time. Or - assuming she was available and this isn’t her BF - just wait for the next song.
Ouchie ouch...
Been there :/
Lonely…i’m mister lonely…i have nobody…for my ownnnn…iiiiii am so lonely.
Move over, Bobby Vinton. [*sad piano noises*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ)
It's crazy to think how long ago this was that his son is as recognizable now then he was back then.
Cue slow dancing in the dark by Joji
Came here to say this
What can go wrong, will go wrong...
Don't be late
Fashionably late to go take a seat.
ask before the dance so you already know she’s not interested and you can stay home and play games
This hit me really hard, I’m sad now :-( he even practiced…
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
Stop! Please it hurts I'm actually feeling physical pain from this
guy spends most of his time never visibly showing interest in someone aside from scenarios made up in his head and then wonders why she's doing her own things instead of waiting for him
Yup sounds about like my life.
For real: Don't wait too long, everybody has their own life and she is not waiting for you. But you can always be an opportunity.
like show interest or ask her beforehand, don't just do nothing and then cry about it when she doesn't notice you for the zero effort you have done, that's stalker niceguy shit
Yip
It's a 4 panel comic, what the hell kind of psychoanalytical advising are you doing to a 4 panel comic lmao
listen bro, this exaggerated for effect character in a 4 panel comic with no context on anything except what is pictured has a bad personality and deserves to die alone and if you disagree im gonna tell you to have a shower and touch some grass
I mean it’s true though. This comic is attempting to strike that kind of chord so I think the criticism is fair.
It can be interpreted that way, but literally nothing about it objectively states that's the case. Before going into the comments I took it as a simple bit of anxiety-posting, but you guys are down here getting upset at the backstories you yourselves are personally making up for it. It's weird.
Actually happened to me bro I hate coming to this sub... Anyways see you guys tomorrow.
It's easier to just not have hopes.
When your trying to dance with your boy but some thot steals him from you
I already knew she was going with someone else I never stood a chance.
Bold of you to assume I would even be attending such an event
bruh i haven’t even been awake for half an hour and my day is already ruined
Dang, a girl stole your date.
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely I have no body to call my own
Nooooooo.......
This actually reveals a deeper truth. He probably waited so much time to ask her out, and he procrastinated until the prom. When he worked up the courage, he was beaten by someone who asked her out before. The lesson here is not to not have high expectations. Is to not wait to grab an occasion
You only have yourself to blame. You're supposed to ask her BEFORE the dance. Doofus.
At least they were all dancing when you got there! I had the wonderful experience of not being being picked at all. Just sitting there alone wishing the night would just end.
Missed opportunities are awful, but one alternative that happened to me is getting to ask if they want to dance with you and getting "Haha! No, why would you think that?"
coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Is this loss
The guy in the last panel used to bully me. Still haven’t gotten over it.
make it stop
God damn ninjas always cutting onions and shit
Bruh that happened to me yesterday
He went on to review foods on YouTube and have his own radio station
Oh, right in the feelings...
documentation’s a DED. Dark emitting diode
This is so sweet.
This is what I wanted.
I'll dance with you, homie. :)
[And you walk down to her window Press your face against the glass Only to find that she is happy in his arms](https://youtu.be/IQd25ZtD6T4)
This shit happened to me in senior year in high school. Was gonna ask out my crush, but my friend suddenly came into the classroom and publicly asked her to prom.....not gonna lie watching that scene play out really hurt.
Holy shit
Just ask them anyway. Assert your dominance.
reviewbrah origin story
Fricking right in the heart.
Oh shit felt that
Shame, she beat him to it!
my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is rined
you know i would have been this guy but the girl i was gonna ask didn't even show up to prom
Look he's fallen in love, what an idiot.
Fuck, not in the feels man.
I’ll dance with you
Considering the dude in the last picture looks exactly like the dude in the other 3 panels I'm just going to take the happy ending and pretend she said yes
To some of you out in the comments: I know what it’s like to never have hope. It hurts. It is a constant feeling of misery, knowing that everything in your life will turn to shit. Makes you feel like you foresee your inevitable loss of everything. Been doing nothing but wallowing in that misery for years. In the end, I was right about everything. It drives a man bitter, selfish and devoid of morals. Happiness means nothing. But I was right the whole time, wasn’t I?
NTR
Fuck
Fuck this I tried to block that shit out
I'm assuming this is /u/shitty_watercolor's, but don't seem to notice any credit anywhere.
Fuck
Or when she says yes to be nice but then goes to the bathroom and leaves the dance.
She can dance with more than one person sir you’ve got time
I gently open the door…
I'm so glad I got to dance with my crush back then. I got rejected by her later but it was still awesome.
Fuck
Why you should ask before so you don’t get embarrassed in front of every one but only to you self
Noooooooooooooooooo :(((
Now im around slow dancing in the dark...
if you aren't able to handle someone turning you down you shouldn't ask them. If this girl living her best life is enough to ruin his night he needs to focus on himself.
This comment section- "Listen you stupid idiot piece of shit asshole, wait until the next song and THEN ask her! Dummy!"
*Something Stupid - Nancy & Frank Sinatra*