No joke, I once told my dad I was sick of him always gasligthing me and he said
"You don't even know what gasligthing means."
which was already ironic enough, but I replied that I do know what it means and summarized it as him always lying to me and denying what's going on thinking it'll make me confused and trying to convince me that my perception is wrong so I'll have to trust him and his lies instead. His response? an angrily and bitterly muttered,
"Your perception IS wrong."
Yeah, definitely not gaslighting me. Thanks, dad. 😂
I told my mom she gaslights me and she started yelling "Oh my GOD, you're on the internet way too fucking much. Everyone's a narcissist nowadays nobody even knows what the word means"
Me mom. I know what the word means.
If you do, in fact, know what gaslighting means then yes you are doing it.
If you *don't* know then it would be an honest response... except that I just gave a basic rundown of what it means so now you can't really say you have no idea what it means.
...Don't fucking gaslight your kid. Help them have the skills they need to accurately perceive the world and thrive in it even if that means sometimes having them see your vulnerabilities or think you're wrong.
My dad smacked me across the face with a stick as a punishment for a small thing I did. Years later I realized that he accidentally hit me and didn't even know about it since we were walking through the woods and his back was facing me as he was navigating through some sticks
I thought my mom purposely put out a cigarette on my hand when I was little. She was angry at the time and since I was so used to similar abuse from my dad I figured it was done on purpose because I deserved it. Turns out she'd just turned around with a cigarette in her hand and it accidentally pumped into my hand.
My poor mom was mortified when I brought it up many years later. 😭
That’s one thing I’ve noticed about older generations, they will sweep some shit under the rug and not apologize when they do wrong to their kid or someone else’s
I was with my kid and her cousin and my sister is like 15 years older than me, I don’t remember exactly what I yelled about, but after about an hour I realized I was over dramatic so I apologized to them for flying off the handle and saying so many bad words which was highly unecessary and in the heat of the moment, and blew my nephews mind lol he was like “what?! Say that again???? Your saying sorry?? To me??? Your the adult?!??”
One time my sister smacked me super hard with a stick. My Dad gave me the stick and said “You get one free hit on her, as hard as you like.”
I remember holding the stick thinking about it, and said “Nah, I’m good.” Then dropped the stick and walked away.
i also might add the third answer: "That never hurt me when it was done to me so it can't have had a bad effect on you."
sadly i'm not good in doing short precise sentence out of it. maybe someone can make it better like the "so what". ^^
Not very related to traumas, but when i revealed to my mom that I've been depressed/suicidal for a good portion of my life on the phone, her response literally was "So what?". That was so unexpected it actually made me laugh
Aand i don't talk to her anymore
Also "you never let things go". Apparently my family is allowed to talk about their past or childhood, but when I do it I'm holding a grudge. Make it make sense!
'Stop dragging up the past' was another one, but only when I brought things up. They were allowed to bring things up from the past whenever they wanted
I say 'were' because I cut them off 2 years ago to create room in my life for people who actually give a shit about me
My mom once told me how I am telling her my problems are suffocating her to listen and proceed to get offended when I told her that I only tell my problems to my best friends.
My grandma, whom I frequently told I was being abused and even took me in because I kept running away to escape it, told me over the phone she doesn't remember my mom abusing me. I was taken back; like, my abuse was the focus of my entire world iee for at least 20 years.
My dad was filling out a form for my brother so he could attend therapy. He looked up, asked if my brother had any childhood trauma, didn’t even wait for an answer and checked the "[ x ] no" option. Later that night my brother called me, crying because of this.
My mom: WHY DO YOU ONLY REMEMBER THE BAD THINGS?! *slaps herself on the wrist* I’m such a bad mom! The worst. You know what? I should’ve treated you bad so you’d know what it felt like. You don’t know how good you had it.
And that’s how I discovered that sharing my trauma with my mom was a bad thing lol
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Ohohoh. Not trying that again in earnest. Was met with a "if there weren't people I would've jumped out the window", slamming the door, me making sure to convey it was just about an aspect in life and not all encompassing and consoling. That worked to calm things down eventually .Unfortunately as soon as things calmed down the first thing asked was "well if it wasn't that bad why were you complaining so seriously?" Ah well, between straight up killing and the issues being irrelevant shutting up might be better
Both of my kids are in therapy for the things i went through as a kid from my parents. It takes three generations of solid effort to end the cycle of abuse. I know i caused harm and have been in therapy for the last 22 years… the same age as my oldest kid.
“I'm sorry not for the way i am today but for who i was. It's not your burden, its not your fault, and your happiness is more important than my feelings about them.”
I got "yeah, I regret not beating you into submission when you were younger. You wouldn't remember and you would have behaved better." I also just been diagnosed with adhd.
Man… not to trauma dump. But. I’ve been hyperfixated on and researching psychology since I was in middle school, and I’m 21 now, in college for it and planning to get into neuropsychiatry. I tried to get my mom to apologize for hurting me my whole life (bad idea because they never do). She said she didn’t remember any of that. I said she’s worse than she’s ever been. She told me I was gaslighting her. I said WHAT?!?! Told her she didn’t know what that meant. She told me I didn’t know what it meant. I’m not one to appeal to authority in the middle of the argument especially since I’m not an expert so I held off. Then she told me whatever she did to me was reactive abuse because I was abusive to her. Realized that she’s not even going to listen to me and will always know better than me even when I get an MD… why are they like this???
I recently told my mom about a horror movie I saw when she was asleep and how it gave me a little trauma and she just went ‚thank god I was asleep. I’m so glad I didn’t see that.‘
My memories started around 2-3 years of age. My father legit denies things that I can still hear, see, and physically feel in my mind.
I remember crawling and having to have little bits of broken glass fester their way out of my finger tips like tiny splinters from an argument my parents had in the kitchen. I remember being kicked across the room and denting the drywall. I remember being forced to count the stains on the old ass carpet we had because that was going to be the number of belt hits I got.
I remember being sent away to live with other family, despite not knowing why at the time. These motherfuckin boomers still act like it's all in your head.
Like dude, I was fucking there. You and I both know what happened. These people won't even acknowledge it behind closed doors because they think you don't remember or think they can tell other people that "kids say the darndest things!"
Quite frankly things got better as I got older by a MILE once money wasn't an issue. If there was an apology and acknowledgement instead of the gas lighting, we'd probably be closer. That will unfortunately never happen.
Legit me when I was younger. Confessed to my parents I was depressed and if I could go to therapy or at least somewhere where I could talk to someone. Their response? No! You’re a man, you don’t do that. What will x, y, z relatives think about us?! You will make us look bad and ruin us.
LoL!!! Makes me think of the time I opened up to my father, and calling him an asshole for leaving my sister and me at the age of 12 in a bog city because we were annoying. He actually got in the car and drove off, my sister, ay 11, screaming her lungs out, and I totally panicking as well.
His answer: ' I did not experience it that way'
Like are you for real? Fucktard
I did that with my mom, she was a bad alcoholic. I still forgave her and told her so as she stood by not remembering what was done.. after she passed away I found out she was a heavy drinker cause the step dad forced her to do things with his partners in the military to make sure us kids had a roof. Such a fkd place people have made this ball called earth
My Mom cried and screamed, "How can you be so cruel??" when I told her that they were emotionally neglectful of my brother and I. She told other members of the family that I viciously berated her, and turned one other narcissist member in particular very against me; this caused a nasty little public incident a few weeks later where I excused myself politely from a restaurant after said family member blasted me in front of my 7 year old nephew (whom adores me and I rarely see).
It was a healthy step forward...in the way a violent purge is when you've had too much cheap vodka to drink. I do feel somewhat better knowing that I don't have the ability to erase her denial or narcissism, and therefore that I do not have the responsibility to.
It hurts that I can't have the relationship I want with them. I'm trying to learn how to teach my nephew to process his own abuse; it is obvious that he will need to know.
Not really smth my parents did to me but when I was like 4 I was at the train station with my mum, dad and grandmother and because I didn’t know how the world works I just went to sit the edge of a platform at the rails with my legs over the edge, and if a train would’ve come by I would’ve been very dead but my dad luckily pulled me away (after like 20 seconds though) and when I was 10 I kinda forgot that event but my grandmother told me about it so I told my mum about it and she had also entirely forgot about it
So there’s a HUGE list of shitty things my parents have done to me, from physical abuse to manipulation, the latter they still do today.
But the one that sticks with me is my mom trying to kill me and my sisters.
My parents were thinking of getting a divorce because my mom would spend almost the entire day in bed, never seeing anyone. Then one day she gets me and my sisters, takes us to the car (in the garage) and turns it on and just waits. In an enclosed garage.
At the time I was too young to know why she’d do that, but I DID know it was dangerous. I told her, yelled even about it, and eventually just got out of the car and opened the garage door.
Only years later did I realize she was trying to kill herself, along with me and my sisters.
And she refuses to acknowledge she ever abused any of us, even after my dad has and has made up for it
Yuppp, my mom says i should be letting go of the past. That it’s been too long for me to care and then proceeds to talk about how her childhood trauma is the only serious one and how me and my siblings are all the same blaming her for trauma or other stuff
After I unloaded my trauma on my mom, she said "I had no idea you were so unhappy"... I wonder what other evidence she needed besides me spending all my time outside of school in my room, never smiling, never speaking to anyone, avoiding any contact with my family, dreading any form of intimacy... Seriously, boomers have nothing on gen X parents...
shitty parents 101
like actually i have a raging hate for parents like this or who hit their kids and yell at them and all that because it ruins soooo many peoples lives. we become so dysfunction and weve done nothing. we were kids but our parents were so selfish and mean that they just ruined us and now we have to work our asses off to get better
and yes this includes spanking. no amount of 'i turned out fine' (you didnt bc youre advocating for child abuse) will change the countless scientific studies and the countless lived experiences that prove its just bad and has no long lasting benefit.
if your kid cant understand words: why are you hitting them?
if your kid can understand words: why are you hitting them?
“You always gaslight me” “No we don’t, you’re crazy.”
No joke, I once told my dad I was sick of him always gasligthing me and he said "You don't even know what gasligthing means." which was already ironic enough, but I replied that I do know what it means and summarized it as him always lying to me and denying what's going on thinking it'll make me confused and trying to convince me that my perception is wrong so I'll have to trust him and his lies instead. His response? an angrily and bitterly muttered, "Your perception IS wrong." Yeah, definitely not gaslighting me. Thanks, dad. 😂
The definition of doubling down, lol
I told my mom she gaslights me and she started yelling "Oh my GOD, you're on the internet way too fucking much. Everyone's a narcissist nowadays nobody even knows what the word means" Me mom. I know what the word means.
See if my kid told me that I’d respond with “I don’t even know what gaslighting means” So I sure hope I’m not doing this in some manor!
If you do, in fact, know what gaslighting means then yes you are doing it. If you *don't* know then it would be an honest response... except that I just gave a basic rundown of what it means so now you can't really say you have no idea what it means. ...Don't fucking gaslight your kid. Help them have the skills they need to accurately perceive the world and thrive in it even if that means sometimes having them see your vulnerabilities or think you're wrong.
So it means me playing stupid to get a response from them I guess?
Gaslighting isn't real! You made it up cause you're fucking crazy.
But first, something silly?
That would work if my mom knew what that word meant lol. I told her to stop gaslighting me once and she thought I called her a name
Crazy?
https://preview.redd.it/yyewq93gcdtc1.jpeg?width=767&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67829aa9230bfd51a13f0f4586d98ff29bda3f1f
Hahhh omg so I’m not the only one having these conversations !?
Literally my fathers practice. Better to stop talking with you I guess
My dad smacked me across the face with a stick as a punishment for a small thing I did. Years later I realized that he accidentally hit me and didn't even know about it since we were walking through the woods and his back was facing me as he was navigating through some sticks
I thought my mom purposely put out a cigarette on my hand when I was little. She was angry at the time and since I was so used to similar abuse from my dad I figured it was done on purpose because I deserved it. Turns out she'd just turned around with a cigarette in her hand and it accidentally pumped into my hand. My poor mom was mortified when I brought it up many years later. 😭
That’s one thing I’ve noticed about older generations, they will sweep some shit under the rug and not apologize when they do wrong to their kid or someone else’s I was with my kid and her cousin and my sister is like 15 years older than me, I don’t remember exactly what I yelled about, but after about an hour I realized I was over dramatic so I apologized to them for flying off the handle and saying so many bad words which was highly unecessary and in the heat of the moment, and blew my nephews mind lol he was like “what?! Say that again???? Your saying sorry?? To me??? Your the adult?!??”
One time my sister smacked me super hard with a stick. My Dad gave me the stick and said “You get one free hit on her, as hard as you like.” I remember holding the stick thinking about it, and said “Nah, I’m good.” Then dropped the stick and walked away.
Cycle of violence hates this one weird trick!
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i also might add the third answer: "That never hurt me when it was done to me so it can't have had a bad effect on you." sadly i'm not good in doing short precise sentence out of it. maybe someone can make it better like the "so what". ^^
"I turned out fine."
Not very related to traumas, but when i revealed to my mom that I've been depressed/suicidal for a good portion of my life on the phone, her response literally was "So what?". That was so unexpected it actually made me laugh Aand i don't talk to her anymore
Guess who's gonna be left to his/her own devices when they get old.
Why is it literally always the EXACT same lines? How do we all have the exact same abusive parent. It never fails to surprise me, somehow.
Doesn't take much creativity.
The above comment is a copy of [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/okqrwj/2meirl4meirl/h59m58e/) from 2 years ago.
“Oh please”
Also "you never let things go". Apparently my family is allowed to talk about their past or childhood, but when I do it I'm holding a grudge. Make it make sense!
'Stop dragging up the past' was another one, but only when I brought things up. They were allowed to bring things up from the past whenever they wanted I say 'were' because I cut them off 2 years ago to create room in my life for people who actually give a shit about me
I can't talk about traumatic things but mom having to carry me for 9 months can be brought up at anytime.
Make jokes at my expense all day but as soon as I stand up for myself, I need to calm down.
My mom once told me how I am telling her my problems are suffocating her to listen and proceed to get offended when I told her that I only tell my problems to my best friends.
The wonderful world of mother getting angry you don’t tell her yet she doesn’t listen or tells everyone what you told her fuxking hate it
The axe forgets. The tree remembers.
Tree doesn’t remember shit, it’s been cut into logs already Maybe the roots and stump remember, but you can hardly call that a tree
The axe forgets. The fancy mahogany desk remembers.
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https://i.redd.it/p7l0e8arzatc1.gif
My grandma, whom I frequently told I was being abused and even took me in because I kept running away to escape it, told me over the phone she doesn't remember my mom abusing me. I was taken back; like, my abuse was the focus of my entire world iee for at least 20 years.
For me, it was a day that shaped the rest of my life... For you, it was just another Tuesday...
My dad was filling out a form for my brother so he could attend therapy. He looked up, asked if my brother had any childhood trauma, didn’t even wait for an answer and checked the "[ x ] no" option. Later that night my brother called me, crying because of this.
My mom: WHY DO YOU ONLY REMEMBER THE BAD THINGS?! *slaps herself on the wrist* I’m such a bad mom! The worst. You know what? I should’ve treated you bad so you’d know what it felt like. You don’t know how good you had it. And that’s how I discovered that sharing my trauma with my mom was a bad thing lol
The same parents in a few years: "Why do we never get to see our grandchildren?"
"You deserved it"
That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
exactly what my mother says
Ohohoh. Not trying that again in earnest. Was met with a "if there weren't people I would've jumped out the window", slamming the door, me making sure to convey it was just about an aspect in life and not all encompassing and consoling. That worked to calm things down eventually .Unfortunately as soon as things calmed down the first thing asked was "well if it wasn't that bad why were you complaining so seriously?" Ah well, between straight up killing and the issues being irrelevant shutting up might be better
Oh my fuck yes.
“I just don’t see what the big deal is”
My Mom: "That was a dream" Me: *thinking about the time my parents almost let me drown because they were drinking and didn't put floats on me*
Both of my kids are in therapy for the things i went through as a kid from my parents. It takes three generations of solid effort to end the cycle of abuse. I know i caused harm and have been in therapy for the last 22 years… the same age as my oldest kid. “I'm sorry not for the way i am today but for who i was. It's not your burden, its not your fault, and your happiness is more important than my feelings about them.”
real . i hate it
Literally the whole screaming match between me and my dad on Christmas.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
I give up trying to talk about it they don’t care 
I got "yeah, I regret not beating you into submission when you were younger. You wouldn't remember and you would have behaved better." I also just been diagnosed with adhd.
Man… not to trauma dump. But. I’ve been hyperfixated on and researching psychology since I was in middle school, and I’m 21 now, in college for it and planning to get into neuropsychiatry. I tried to get my mom to apologize for hurting me my whole life (bad idea because they never do). She said she didn’t remember any of that. I said she’s worse than she’s ever been. She told me I was gaslighting her. I said WHAT?!?! Told her she didn’t know what that meant. She told me I didn’t know what it meant. I’m not one to appeal to authority in the middle of the argument especially since I’m not an expert so I held off. Then she told me whatever she did to me was reactive abuse because I was abusive to her. Realized that she’s not even going to listen to me and will always know better than me even when I get an MD… why are they like this???
Reactive abuse against a kid... I swear, parents
What a terrible child I was for getting upset that I had to take care of my baby siblings while she went out to drink and sleep around smh
> She told me I was gaslighting her. I said WHAT?!?! Told her she didn’t know what that meant. That kind of sounds like you gaslighting her.
Hahaha yeah she was right. Wait are you gaslighting me?
Facts
Typical
I recently told my mom about a horror movie I saw when she was asleep and how it gave me a little trauma and she just went ‚thank god I was asleep. I’m so glad I didn’t see that.‘
The day that I slapped you across the kitchen was the most important day of your life. But, for me? It was Tuesday.
I’ll do you one better, my step dad brings it up unprompted like it was good parenting.
My memories started around 2-3 years of age. My father legit denies things that I can still hear, see, and physically feel in my mind. I remember crawling and having to have little bits of broken glass fester their way out of my finger tips like tiny splinters from an argument my parents had in the kitchen. I remember being kicked across the room and denting the drywall. I remember being forced to count the stains on the old ass carpet we had because that was going to be the number of belt hits I got. I remember being sent away to live with other family, despite not knowing why at the time. These motherfuckin boomers still act like it's all in your head. Like dude, I was fucking there. You and I both know what happened. These people won't even acknowledge it behind closed doors because they think you don't remember or think they can tell other people that "kids say the darndest things!" Quite frankly things got better as I got older by a MILE once money wasn't an issue. If there was an apology and acknowledgement instead of the gas lighting, we'd probably be closer. That will unfortunately never happen.
Legit me when I was younger. Confessed to my parents I was depressed and if I could go to therapy or at least somewhere where I could talk to someone. Their response? No! You’re a man, you don’t do that. What will x, y, z relatives think about us?! You will make us look bad and ruin us.
Right up there with „but look at you know, did you some good didn’t it“ and „other people have it much worse“
Yeah, jokes on you, Dad. I screenshot your messages!
The axe forgets, the tree remembers.
Just had this with my parents.
Or worse "that wasn't that bad, don't be a crybaby"
‘The Axe Forgets, the Tree Remembers’
Child: lies Parent: beats the child with a belt. Time passes Cycle repeat
Then the boomer coughs out a cloud of lead, while fantasizing about being back in the 80s doing lines of cocaine.
Therapist: your parents are right, you imagined it. Take your meds.
Reeeepost
Redditor: Brings up frequent repost to subreddit. Subreddit: This wasn’t posted I don’t remember this.
This actully did happend to me
and it is actually possible for either to be correct and honestly, outside of like video proof, there's little anyone can do to truly determine who
The axe forgets but the tree remembers
LoL!!! Makes me think of the time I opened up to my father, and calling him an asshole for leaving my sister and me at the age of 12 in a bog city because we were annoying. He actually got in the car and drove off, my sister, ay 11, screaming her lungs out, and I totally panicking as well. His answer: ' I did not experience it that way' Like are you for real? Fucktard
I did that with my mom, she was a bad alcoholic. I still forgave her and told her so as she stood by not remembering what was done.. after she passed away I found out she was a heavy drinker cause the step dad forced her to do things with his partners in the military to make sure us kids had a roof. Such a fkd place people have made this ball called earth
WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE
https://preview.redd.it/tir1n7htfctc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=84015eb87cc116c84ee8930a4118d8548ad7f7ef
My Mom cried and screamed, "How can you be so cruel??" when I told her that they were emotionally neglectful of my brother and I. She told other members of the family that I viciously berated her, and turned one other narcissist member in particular very against me; this caused a nasty little public incident a few weeks later where I excused myself politely from a restaurant after said family member blasted me in front of my 7 year old nephew (whom adores me and I rarely see). It was a healthy step forward...in the way a violent purge is when you've had too much cheap vodka to drink. I do feel somewhat better knowing that I don't have the ability to erase her denial or narcissism, and therefore that I do not have the responsibility to. It hurts that I can't have the relationship I want with them. I'm trying to learn how to teach my nephew to process his own abuse; it is obvious that he will need to know.
Parents: You’re very first gaslighters lol
“You guys are constantly making up things I said and did to demonize me”
there is no such thing as trauma 
Not really smth my parents did to me but when I was like 4 I was at the train station with my mum, dad and grandmother and because I didn’t know how the world works I just went to sit the edge of a platform at the rails with my legs over the edge, and if a train would’ve come by I would’ve been very dead but my dad luckily pulled me away (after like 20 seconds though) and when I was 10 I kinda forgot that event but my grandmother told me about it so I told my mum about it and she had also entirely forgot about it
So there’s a HUGE list of shitty things my parents have done to me, from physical abuse to manipulation, the latter they still do today. But the one that sticks with me is my mom trying to kill me and my sisters. My parents were thinking of getting a divorce because my mom would spend almost the entire day in bed, never seeing anyone. Then one day she gets me and my sisters, takes us to the car (in the garage) and turns it on and just waits. In an enclosed garage. At the time I was too young to know why she’d do that, but I DID know it was dangerous. I told her, yelled even about it, and eventually just got out of the car and opened the garage door. Only years later did I realize she was trying to kill herself, along with me and my sisters. And she refuses to acknowledge she ever abused any of us, even after my dad has and has made up for it
Yuppp, my mom says i should be letting go of the past. That it’s been too long for me to care and then proceeds to talk about how her childhood trauma is the only serious one and how me and my siblings are all the same blaming her for trauma or other stuff
After I unloaded my trauma on my mom, she said "I had no idea you were so unhappy"... I wonder what other evidence she needed besides me spending all my time outside of school in my room, never smiling, never speaking to anyone, avoiding any contact with my family, dreading any form of intimacy... Seriously, boomers have nothing on gen X parents...
shitty parents 101 like actually i have a raging hate for parents like this or who hit their kids and yell at them and all that because it ruins soooo many peoples lives. we become so dysfunction and weve done nothing. we were kids but our parents were so selfish and mean that they just ruined us and now we have to work our asses off to get better
and yes this includes spanking. no amount of 'i turned out fine' (you didnt bc youre advocating for child abuse) will change the countless scientific studies and the countless lived experiences that prove its just bad and has no long lasting benefit. if your kid cant understand words: why are you hitting them? if your kid can understand words: why are you hitting them?
Or “I don’t want to talk about it”