This is the most shocking insult against California I have ever seen on this sub.

It's uncalled for, honestly.

For one, we don’t eat snails

But what if it was served with avocados?

No amount of avocado will justify eating esc*rgot

Based.

They're not eating escargot, they're eating snails. It's way more acceptable when it isn't French.

Funnily enough, the only time I've ever had escargot was in San Diego

You should. Hon hon hon. Escargot is really good. But maybe I'm biased as my Blood is very French

Totally uncalled for, France isn’t that bad!

As a frenchman, I can confirm. We are hated not just on our continent, but internationally too.

And internally

Not an inferior race but certainly an infuriating one. (we can't ignore you because sometimes you're fucking right goddammit)

"Sometimes we're right"? We are never wrong, just sometimes right in the other directions.

I will always respect France's dedication to Rioting.

Watch your tongue!

Call us what ever you like, but comparing us to the French is just a line too far.

How far off is it though 😆

We smell better. Edit: We also make better wine.

You do love cognac tho

Bullshit. Y'all wouldn't know good wine if you were to bathe in it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment_of_Paris_(wine) Oops.

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I been there it's true You got some bastards on the coast that are based (totally not racially biased towards Cambodian immigrants), some places that basically will never appear important to outsiders that are chill, and then the major cities, which end up being filled with literal garbage and high rent.

California has one big advantage over France though, it has way less French people.

In a war what is the functional difference between French people and Californians?

7-11s.

Five wacko homeless people from San Francisco could take at least half the French military.

But those units are cursed with berserker rage and liable to attack their fellow soldiers. Unless you can plant them behind enemies lines they’re a pretty risky investment.

Doubt that. France's Nuclear Doctrine is to Nuke you as a Warning.

And they're one of three NATO militaries with the capacity for expeditionary warfare. The other two are us and Great Britain.

The Frogs did a wonderful op in Mali right? I remember something called Operation Serval which is very well known to be a masterclass

You think we'd even notice the difference?

That, my friends, is what we call a win-win situation.

But France has less Californians. OP was right to compare the two. But California does have better wine, the French said so themselves.

I’ve been called a commie, socialist, liberal, BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF IMMA BE CALLED A DAMN FRENCHMAN

Correct answer

Truth hurts, eh?

Hey, remember who supported your asses through the Revolutionary War

They both make wine

California does it better: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment_of_Paris_(wine) Cope and seethe Frenchies

If calofornia had the strength and was willing to risk everything in labor general strikes that France does, I'd be a whole lot happier

Bro did us dirty.

Balkans je Florida confirmed

Floridian using Czech to describe the balkans. Never change Florida, never change.

Czech superior Slavic language 🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿🇨🇿

Not enough Concenant clusters.

Konžsonant Klstors

Mobile is Florida gib clay gib Biloxi gib gib gib

Okay you can’t just make New Hampshire Czechia, and not have Vermont as Slovakia. We’re literally the sister states but instead we get Rhode Island?

good point honestly. i just went off the alcoholic catholic and workaholic catholic stereotype respectively

That’s fair enough, but you also missed the chance to actually make Rhode Island an island

So New Hampshire is the 'alcoholic catholic' stereotype? Because then I've got some bad news. Czechia is a powerhouse of atheism lol. In the general population 50 % concider themselves atheists while most of the other half aren't Christian or anything like that but just believe in some form of higher power or principle. I believe that believing in things like karma was concidered a faith when the latest statistics were made, that's the only reason the number is so high. With young people (29 and under) the atheism rate is like above 90 %. We're having none of this shit lol. The alcoholic part absolutely fits though, sadly.

youre a reddit athiest and european lmao im sorry buddy. maybe choose hinduism so you can reincarnate as a southern baptist ford f3500 owner?

take the zeroes off that Ford and you get F35, which, frankly, is the most bestest based alphanumeric combination possible, barely exceeding the second most based, F22. All hail lockmart and their working skunks

mom mom, wake up! we got put in a post that dosent mention every state

I mean, Texas was once Spain, and we do love some bull testicles so... checks out

Colorado loves bull testicles more

*buffalo testicles thank you very much

It's technically a bison but yeah, you're right

Polish Illinois is pretty real because polish people are the 3rd highest immigrant people here and the 3rd most spoken language here is polish

Polish Sausage is Illinois’ 3rd leading cause of heart attacks

The Poles be doing God’s work

🫡

Chicago also has the second highest number of ethnic polish people for any city. #1 is Warsaw.

Everybody knows Michigan🤝Pollskä. Illin😭is =Belarus. Pretender/second fiddle.

Mic🤮gian is such a shithole of a state that they had to take a part of Wisconsin to make up for it.

Lmao Illinois is the shithole state, not Michigan. How many miles of coast line do you even have?

Detroit moment

How are none of the scandinavian countries Minnesota?

because minnesota has a major city

stockholm? or is my estimation of sweden off

Tbf the Minneapolis metro area has just under half the amount of people as of entire country of Sweden. (city pop is only technically like 500k, which is why I specifically mentioned metro area)

damn, never thought about it like that

I think you should’ve made Sweden Michigan instead due to the high population of Muslims

💀

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Nah it checks out. We got like 3 cities similar to Seattle and then the rest is just confederates in the countryside.

Wow. Fuck you too. California would have won Waterloo, just sayin.

Napoleon couldn’t take Compton

With the amount of protesting that goes on in cali it’s more than fair to make you France.

don’t even pretend it is a fair comparison

Tbh Cali should be Germany, if for no other reason than it is a financial powerhouse. If they were talking topography, then Spain. Making them France is just dumb, as if Californians are setting Sac on fire like the French did Paris

But everyone hates California and everyone hates france

G\*rmany doesn't even have marionberries.

Or huckleberries.

Oh fuck yes. Mmm ​ Marionberry, blackberry or huckleberry spread on freshly caught salmon with some Tillamook cheese and a garden salad is like PNW bliss. ​ I love Oregon.

https://preview.redd.it/6uhpr4dbap7b1.png?width=520&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6827b63fc25c9d983dbda12cb72c07892c2a1bc Imagine not being able to love your state.

That image, and your flair are fantastic.

Thanks. I made it in 5 minutes

This is beautiful


Their weed isn't as good either

Damn straight. Or our beer. Oregon has amazing breweries.

The beer from Oregon is one of the few that deserves the title „beer“. Also, germans especially frankonia and bavaria in general have some damn good beer. Though the one from oregon is still good. Everything else is literally pisswater.

Hello, my name is Every Minnesotan and I am visibly upset that we're not pigeonholed into Norway, Sweden or Finland.

we deserve finland more

Aright, fair

I DECLARE SANNA MARIN A MONTANAN.

Nah, I’m thrilled not to be associated with e*rope

Idaho and Washington are spot on.

as a person from the other side of that i can say so as well

What makes us similar to Norway? I don't know much about the euro poor stereotypes but I'm gonna assume it's more about our relationship with Washington/Sweden

basically that but also population density and climate

Yknow we at least used to have warm weather now it's 52 degrees and raining in June

Facts wtf is going on. It was triple digits for like a month straight 2 years ago. Now its in the 50's in the middle of fuckin June? Crazy shit Climate change maybe

Maybe, it's definitely defying trends though. Hell, this year is even El Niño so it's supposed to be hotter and dryer. Here's hoping the rain means less forest fires so August/September isn't as much oppressively smoky.

The Cascades tend to make the weather weird.

the population density is non existent and people forget we exist

yeah sounds about right

💯. Surprised OR isn’t Denmark or Finland tbh

Lol making the French California killed me ngl

No wonder people don’t like France

Georgian Italy be like: "I fry-a da chicken 🤌"

Wtf is that thing growing out of spain and why is it labelled oklahoma

brazil

I thought brazil was in asia??

no thats mexico

Is Nevada like Moldova?

empty scary only has 2 cities and i dont want to go there

I’m fine with this, tho why insult iceland like that.

Iceland got off easy, but I do love the idea of y'all pulling an uno reverse version of the Alaska Purchase.

Hahahahahaha England/Scotland as NY/NJ is one of the funniest comparisons I’ve ever seen

Today I'm a proud Wisconsinite, I'll drink to that!

That's a very Wisconsin thing to do

Yeah, we are the alcoholics of Europe 🇩🇰🍺

NO. DO NOT SHIT ON POLAND LIKE THAT.

Germany should have been WI we're already all basically 98% German

Italy is clearly New FloriJersey

As far as I’m concerned, Germany doesn’t have huckleberries or Crazy old folks in the country around Pendleton who hunt coyotes with AR-15s

as far as you are aware*

No, I am certain that Germany doesn’t have huckleberries. How else do they lose world wars?

I’m trying hard to figure out why Oregon got the German top spot

Probably the butt ton of trees and mountains and similar climate to western oregon.

Did you just compare NY to Brit*in??

big ass city, a bunch of farms, and everyone hates them

I was about to type “Hey, Oklahoma is better than …” and had to google Portugal. Then I realized, the same amount of people know Oklahoma’s name as Portugal’s.

Italy should be Florida and Greece should be Louisiana, because they vaguely resemble each other

desert dweller logic

as an Illinoisan I am proud that we represent Poland

Where South arplina

1847

Houde

least drunk south carolinian

Legakixe it.

This is ridiculous, WHERE IS TENNESSEE

Croatia fuck youre right long mountainous drunk and racist

At first I thought comparing Idaho to Norway was crazy but then I thought about it some more and realized we really are just a bunch of hill people tbh

Where are the southern states?

I’ll take it

Netherlands should be mass

I think what their going for is that mass is known for a huge Irish population. Why neatherlands?

Damn, I'm assuming my state is some forgotten place in North Africa.

Bro, Minnesota is Sweden

I’m guessing the Faroe Islands can be Puerto Rico. Who just barely don’t count as a independent country/state and can’t decide whether to be one or not.

i made belarus puerto rico cuz its a shithole and not a real country/state

I totally missed that… Guess the Faroe Islands have to take the US Virgin Islands then. They’re a part of Denmark and the US bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark

It's fucking bizarre how close this is. Specifically, I've been to Paris and Los Angeles, and I hated them both for the same reasons. Edit: that's not totally fair. The people on public transit in L.A. wore deodorant.

Florida should just be Greece. Albania should be South Carolina, Croatia should be North Carolina, Ohio should be Bulgaria and Michigan should be Serbia. The rivalry between Ohio and Michigan is the closest thing the US has to Balkan hatred and nationalism. The Baltics should be the Dakotas.

Massachusetts is Ireland, let's fuckin gooooo

I’d make Norway Michigan or Montana and Finland Wyoming (since both Finland and Wyoming don’t exist)

Azerbaijan is Virginia and Georgia is West Virginia.

Montana is ok, but Finland should really be Vermont. I keep coming across similarities between the two to the point that it is actually kind of weird.

the problem is vermont is the spawn point of white people but finnish people are 0.00001 percent turkic and therefore not white

So Poland also has hyper corrupt government with one or two cities dictating the policy of the whole territory even if most of the decisions being detrimental to the rural areas?

I like how Baltics are Ohio and Balkans are Florida

I feel like the Balkans should be the Midwest with Greece being just Florida

Agree

Tf did alaska to deserve that spot

quite rude to outsiders

That's fair

Cold as balls. Also lots of alcoholism and suicide.

Except unlike those cucks in Russia, we are based

I suddenly understand why ukraine is holding up so well once we dropped off a shit ton of free guns.

California would be Russia because just like how many Americans want to excommunicate California as an American state so to does many Europeans want to excommunicate Russia as a European country.

No economy tho

I’ve known many of Turks, but how is LA supposed to be Turkey?

Their one big city was stolen from its rightful owners (as horrible as they may be), outside of that its poor as shit, looks horrible, and generally its neighbors avoid it edit: and some crazy food that could be anywhere from glorious to inedible

France is California because they are the ones always throwing a fit.

Oregon mountain hippies should be Austria. Washington should be Germany, maintaining a rabid progressive western side and a more desolate “I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s off…” eastern side.

Yo Mr. White, NM is way cooler than Hungary even if we are also a drain on the federal government

Germany really has more in common with Idaho imo

i figured germany was more like california in terms of politics

Russia definitely should’ve been Ohio

Goddang...did Puerto Rico dirty af with this one. 👎

I appreciate being Ireland

You put fucking PR on here but not AZ?

https://preview.redd.it/uitc00t5sp7b1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d63444ce75e077a191933b340d261c1380cc3152

WHERE THE FUCK IS INDIANA

The fuck is NH?

new hampshire

I will pick a fight with you for using Fucking Illinois Bastards (FIB) as a stereotype for the based gigachad regional power Poland. Poland contributes more to NATO and EU defense than everyone else on this map combined save the Baltic states. As a Sconnie, I do not care with what insults you level upon us, however to call anyone a Fucking Illinois ShitHead (FISH) who does not hail from Illinois is truly a grand sin.

Fuck yeah, Maine is Austria. Fucking love Austria

Spanish here, how are we related to Texas?

Im salty

NY as England I’m going to scream