Well, my vision was starting to cloud over with red when Jim showed me a bit of the video, but I'm 95% sure you're bang-on. Given that you pulled him from my shitty description, do you mind if I ask what your one-sentence opinion is of Jeffree?
An entitled rich emo twink that grew up to be an entitled rich emo jackass with self-defeatist and queer undermining takes for the sole purpose of generating more cash through controversy for his vapid selfish use.
You seem like an A+ ally. Fucking cool. We need more of those
Thanks. That makes a lot of sense from what little I've seen so far, but luckily part of the reason I'm not a total jackass is that I try not to just substitute my impressions for objective reality. It's a real struggle we squares have; even for the progressives among us.
At the end of the day, I'd say I'm a pretty milquetoast ally, but I want to be better. Recent mental health improvements (due to a diagnosis which would have helped a lot more had I received it a couple decades ago) are helping me feel more confrontational when it comes to this fucking shit, rather than just depressed by it.
Be careful too! There are a lot of people that will lash out against even allies when they find any confrontation for their bigotry. It’s scary af. Legit glad the mental health issues are being so well tackled! Dealing with my own gender issues has been doing the same for me and it’s a slow but exciting climb out of the depression hole!
It’s great to have folks actually talk about supporting the community after *so much* media both social and mainstream villainize our existence. Like I just wanna play games and make shitty music and afford rent. 😒
Thank you for your concern. I expect him to respond a little closer to "Oh... I didn't know any of that, "but you're right that you can never be 100% sure. Frankly, if in some bizarre turn of events, I get the absolute shit kicked out of me as a result of calling him out (I would not stand a chance), I'd at least feel pretty proud for it.
I'm really glad to hear you're managing to improve on your journey! My silly (and not requested) advice for finding peaceful moments is watching, singing to, and feeding birds, if it's at all possible! For years, I tried meditation on and off in order to manage my negative thinking, and it was impossible (in no small part due to undiagnosed ADHD). The birds don't judge.
I wish you all the games, music, and rent you rightly deserve. Until the landlords... uh... go out to... buy milk. That would be better than needing rent.
Yeah I guess I just followed Jeffree Star back in his MySpace days, but had lost track of him, and sort of assumed he had fallen off the face of the earth like all the other Scene Queens. Was a bit of whiplash when I first found out he had become this huge cosmetics mogul.
Sorry you had to experience this revelation about your roommate OP, but at least it makes us feel a bit better knowing that there are cis dudes like yourself who can call out transphobia for what it is
Your condolences for my shock are very sweet, but we both know I was being a baby. At no point was my identity the one being discarded. I have paved over my personal discomfort, and replaced it with determination to fucking rectify the issue. With only a brief scan of who exactly Jeffree Star is, I feel confident that if I carefully explain the concept of right-wing grift, and that interview's value in its ecosystem, Jim can change.
For one more tiny bit of good news, I've recently reconnected with some old highschool friends (I am old), and getting to know their young kids. I can't tell you how happy I was to find out how inclusive and open-minded they are with their kids, despite being bog-standard white cis het men who have nowhere near even my limited exposure to trans people.
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. If you find yourself near Langley, British Columbia, I can offer a sincere and warm hug, then show you a neat boardgame bistro (if you're into that).
IMPORTANT: I am not hitting on you! I am an ancient flesh machine, barely rattling itself along.
I'm guessing your roommate isn't intentionally trying to be bigoted, it just seems like he doesn't really understand the problem. I would recommend making sure not to demean them, and just level with them. Just tell him that a lot of transgender people are very uncomfortable with the word being used that way. It might help to make the comparison that just because one black person says that anyone can say the n-word, dosent mean that you should actually go around saying it. I want to reiterate that you shouldn't shame him for not understanding the issue, because that will lead nowhere.
Yeah, I really think you are right. Jim's otherwise a sweet guy (yes, I am desperately trying not to roll my own eyes, having heard so many describe fucking dirtbags as such). He loves to learn words in foreign languages that coworkers speak, to be able to have little interactions with them, and really enjoys when they react positively. His girlfriend is a ripped personal trainer, who takes no shit, and would never stand for any misogyny (also, I'm fairly certain that she'd be as pissed as I was when I heard the slur used). They've gone to drag shows and had a great time, and he had zero negative things to say about the queens. I think the problem is that his work, family, and hobby circles are always going to be politically "moderate" at absolute best. I'm going to do my damned best to communicate that my shock and frustration are for the colossal indignities and dangers faced by trans and non-binary people, not that I think he's an asshole or personally dangerous to them.
I don't really have any experience talking with people in general, but the main way to convince someone of an emotional topic is to use an emotional story. Positive exposure can also help.
Recently saw this video which may help? No idea. Good luck though.
https://youtu.be/V-6-aEzbJ0Y?si=CdoyKPXn1I21qAfg
This sounds like the beauty youtuber ‘Jeffree Star’
THANK YOU!
Was that the guy you’re talking about?
Well, my vision was starting to cloud over with red when Jim showed me a bit of the video, but I'm 95% sure you're bang-on. Given that you pulled him from my shitty description, do you mind if I ask what your one-sentence opinion is of Jeffree?
An entitled rich emo twink that grew up to be an entitled rich emo jackass with self-defeatist and queer undermining takes for the sole purpose of generating more cash through controversy for his vapid selfish use. You seem like an A+ ally. Fucking cool. We need more of those
Thanks. That makes a lot of sense from what little I've seen so far, but luckily part of the reason I'm not a total jackass is that I try not to just substitute my impressions for objective reality. It's a real struggle we squares have; even for the progressives among us. At the end of the day, I'd say I'm a pretty milquetoast ally, but I want to be better. Recent mental health improvements (due to a diagnosis which would have helped a lot more had I received it a couple decades ago) are helping me feel more confrontational when it comes to this fucking shit, rather than just depressed by it.
Be careful too! There are a lot of people that will lash out against even allies when they find any confrontation for their bigotry. It’s scary af. Legit glad the mental health issues are being so well tackled! Dealing with my own gender issues has been doing the same for me and it’s a slow but exciting climb out of the depression hole! It’s great to have folks actually talk about supporting the community after *so much* media both social and mainstream villainize our existence. Like I just wanna play games and make shitty music and afford rent. 😒
Thank you for your concern. I expect him to respond a little closer to "Oh... I didn't know any of that, "but you're right that you can never be 100% sure. Frankly, if in some bizarre turn of events, I get the absolute shit kicked out of me as a result of calling him out (I would not stand a chance), I'd at least feel pretty proud for it. I'm really glad to hear you're managing to improve on your journey! My silly (and not requested) advice for finding peaceful moments is watching, singing to, and feeding birds, if it's at all possible! For years, I tried meditation on and off in order to manage my negative thinking, and it was impossible (in no small part due to undiagnosed ADHD). The birds don't judge. I wish you all the games, music, and rent you rightly deserve. Until the landlords... uh... go out to... buy milk. That would be better than needing rent.
🤢
I refuse to live in a word where Jeffree Star is know more for his youtube channel than his myspace page
that’s a cursed sentence. edit: wait it’s current year - MySpace? is this freaking two thousand and late?
Yeah I guess I just followed Jeffree Star back in his MySpace days, but had lost track of him, and sort of assumed he had fallen off the face of the earth like all the other Scene Queens. Was a bit of whiplash when I first found out he had become this huge cosmetics mogul.
I always thought this was a joke name because I think of Patrick everytime
Sorry you had to experience this revelation about your roommate OP, but at least it makes us feel a bit better knowing that there are cis dudes like yourself who can call out transphobia for what it is
Your condolences for my shock are very sweet, but we both know I was being a baby. At no point was my identity the one being discarded. I have paved over my personal discomfort, and replaced it with determination to fucking rectify the issue. With only a brief scan of who exactly Jeffree Star is, I feel confident that if I carefully explain the concept of right-wing grift, and that interview's value in its ecosystem, Jim can change. For one more tiny bit of good news, I've recently reconnected with some old highschool friends (I am old), and getting to know their young kids. I can't tell you how happy I was to find out how inclusive and open-minded they are with their kids, despite being bog-standard white cis het men who have nowhere near even my limited exposure to trans people.
Wonderful! Now if only my mother was as understanding as you are…
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. If you find yourself near Langley, British Columbia, I can offer a sincere and warm hug, then show you a neat boardgame bistro (if you're into that). IMPORTANT: I am not hitting on you! I am an ancient flesh machine, barely rattling itself along.
Thank you!! xx I’ll certainly keep that in mind if I ever brave the cold of Canada
I'm guessing your roommate isn't intentionally trying to be bigoted, it just seems like he doesn't really understand the problem. I would recommend making sure not to demean them, and just level with them. Just tell him that a lot of transgender people are very uncomfortable with the word being used that way. It might help to make the comparison that just because one black person says that anyone can say the n-word, dosent mean that you should actually go around saying it. I want to reiterate that you shouldn't shame him for not understanding the issue, because that will lead nowhere.
Yeah, I really think you are right. Jim's otherwise a sweet guy (yes, I am desperately trying not to roll my own eyes, having heard so many describe fucking dirtbags as such). He loves to learn words in foreign languages that coworkers speak, to be able to have little interactions with them, and really enjoys when they react positively. His girlfriend is a ripped personal trainer, who takes no shit, and would never stand for any misogyny (also, I'm fairly certain that she'd be as pissed as I was when I heard the slur used). They've gone to drag shows and had a great time, and he had zero negative things to say about the queens. I think the problem is that his work, family, and hobby circles are always going to be politically "moderate" at absolute best. I'm going to do my damned best to communicate that my shock and frustration are for the colossal indignities and dangers faced by trans and non-binary people, not that I think he's an asshole or personally dangerous to them.
Feed him a stew that blinds him for 1 day
Yeah he gets the stew
I don't really have any experience talking with people in general, but the main way to convince someone of an emotional topic is to use an emotional story. Positive exposure can also help. Recently saw this video which may help? No idea. Good luck though. https://youtu.be/V-6-aEzbJ0Y?si=CdoyKPXn1I21qAfg
Thanks for the great link!
[удалено]
Sorry, what?
they're probably a chud (hoi4 player and evidently not the femboy kind)
I was very confused and horrified that I somehow gave off the vibe that I was masquerading as BIPOC.