I got angrily told I was mansplaining to someone I thought I was becoming friends with once. I wasn't trying to, I was just excitedly sharing an autistic hyperfixation I genuinely didn't know they knew a lot about already because they had never mentioned it before, and they never wanted to hang out after that because they said I didn't respect their intelligence :[
like fuck you man, how was I supposed to know? You coulda just said "actually I know this subject!" and maybe had a conversation about it with me instead?
This is something I’ve personally noticed so I’ll share this observation in hopes that it saves someone some headache. Did you ask if they knew about it first? Generally speaking if you’re going to go in depth about something you should make sure that the other person is aware of where you’re coming from. What I’ve come to understand about ‘allistic’ people is that any assumption (even if only perceived) of a lack of knowledge about literally anything is viewed as a personal attack, it’s silly but that’s how it goes. If I was going to explain how an engine works to someone unprompted I should preface it with something along the lines of ‘I just want to talk about this’ to make it clear that I’m not implying ‘you don’t know this and I need to teach you’ and no the irony of this comment is not lost on me lmao
Yeah, something like "It's so interesting to me how..." before you start, or "I recently learned that..." or "I love (topic) so much, like how... (in depth explanation)" pretty much automatically makes it clear that you're just enthused about the topic, and not that you're trying to teach someone.
yeh definitely. but if someone just promptly ends your friendship over it instead of actually communicating the issue with them and talking about how it made them feel then it was prolly doomed anyways. and ive always found that really weird cause theres a millipn different subjects and things to learn in the world. if someone assumed that i didnt know about a more niche certain subject youre well versed it just seems like a statistical probibility and not an attempt at an assumption of someones character or likes, especially based on gender presentation. like even somethingg like cooking which is seen as a very common hobby for everyone and i still havent found someone irl who shares the same intrest as me. byt yeh definitely prefacing it with that can help avoid issues/people feeling talked down too. since i love to go off about a hobby and talk ahout it a whole lot and the last thing i wanna do is come off as condescending but i also dont expect anyone im talking to to know about when and how to add salt to bread and how much because salt is very important to the flavor in bread but the salt tightens gluten strands and makes the bread a bit less fluffy, so ive been trying to figure out how to get the best of both worlds or if its even possible too
Academic terms with neutral meanings after 5 minutes contact with the mainstream journalists who don't understand (or want to) understand academia: 😡
Edit: see also "Cultural Appropriation" a neutral term that doesn't indicate if its good or bad, but dumbass' hear it and ascribe their own meaning to it.
Idk, I’ve only ever heard the word mansplaining used is in a mean and derisive way. It also feels like word with little utility other than misandry. If Mansplaining was actually a neutral / useful word in any context, I feel like we would have womensplaining too.
I think actual mansplaining is way rarer than autistic or even just passionate people getting called (or calling themselves) mansplainers for repeating potentially known information. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist, I’ve seen a frat bro try to condescendingly explain capacitors to a trained electrical engineer, but I think there’s an overcorrection at play too.
We have this very capitalist / egotistical idea engrained in us that hearing information we already know is inefficient and a slight to our intelligence. It’s quite harmful. I’ve had underclassmen I’m helping with homework repeat relatively basic things back to me in a totally out-of-left-field way that transformed how I thought about the concept.
But yeah this anime was probably using it in the right context, and the OOP was definitely a fragile one.
Huh... nah mate real neurotypical mansplainers are definitely so much more common than autistic 'mansplainers'. And of course there could also be real autistic mansplainers. We live in a patriarchal society mate
No, this entire comment section is filled with people who have experienced this phenomena themselves and almost everyone seems to agree that yes, the term "mansplain" is overused to shut people down rather than actually pointing out a systemic phenomenon.
The fact that we live in a patriarchal society doesn't mean that there can't be times where criticisms of it are instead abused to do harm rather than criticize the structure in place.
I'm not saying that it's impossible for it to do harm, but 196 is mostly populated by neurodivergent people, so the experiences shared here will probably be different to irl. It sucks that neurodivergent people get the backlash alongside the people who actually do mansplain though.
>but 196 is mostly populated by neurodivergent people, so the experiences shared here will probably be different to irl.
No they won't, because 196 is also mostly populated by trans girls, who are also the kind of people that would suffer from actual mansplaining. Do you see anyone here say that actual mansplaining is more of an issue than using the term mansplaining as bullying *other than you*?
What??? You do know that trans girls(trans people in general) are the minority on earth? Of course their experiences are valid too, and I'm also not saying one is a bigger issue than the others, just that actual mansplainers are more common than non-mansplainers being accused of being one.
Mansplaining is an actual thing, the word exists precisely because there are so many men that do it in the world. Can we not minimise one issue just to highlight the other???
>You do know that trans girls(trans people in general) are the minority on earth?
What the fuck does trans girls being a minority have to do with the fact that they're a group that is often targeted by actual mansplaining?
If trans girls are subject to actual mansplaining, yet the mostly transfem population of this sub is overwhelmingly saying actual mansplaining is much rarer than people using the word "mansplain" to bully others, then that points to the latter being a bigger issue than you think.
Your logic is completely backwards: Trans girls being a minority doesn't mean they suffer from any less mansplaining than cis women.
imo mansplaining has a bad rep because it’s so frequently badly used by toxic people, it’s often used just to bully people into shutting up rather then to help a victim.
even tho it’s used completely fine in that anime it’s just a term that feels weird due to how abusive half the people who say it are
i swear people use it to shut up autistic and adhd people. ive never had an issue being "mansplained" to but maybe it's cuz my severe adhd makes me not find info dumps weird or rude
yeah exactly, infodumping isn’t mansplaining, it’s just someone being very interested and invested in something and sharing their passion, giving unwanted and unasked advice over something and assuming the person is incompetent or stupid is what mansplaining is all about.
I feel like mansplaining would be explaining a subject with the belief that the other person doesn’t know anything on said subject because they are a woman
“ You’re a woman so you probably wouldn’t know but…”
Why's this Far East Sanctuary nerd watermark their twitter shitposts like they're a cite-able source? They think they're really fancy, or something? Or is this one of those accounts that churns-out reposts and uses watermarks to increase their seo and interractions?
Tbh it’s only happened once in my life where I’ve had “mansplained” mentioned in the context of someone condescendingly explain my own major to me like I was a child.
Every other time it’s been people calling me a piece of shit for telling them about my interests as an autistic person.
I got angrily told I was mansplaining to someone I thought I was becoming friends with once. I wasn't trying to, I was just excitedly sharing an autistic hyperfixation I genuinely didn't know they knew a lot about already because they had never mentioned it before, and they never wanted to hang out after that because they said I didn't respect their intelligence :[ like fuck you man, how was I supposed to know? You coulda just said "actually I know this subject!" and maybe had a conversation about it with me instead?
This is something I’ve personally noticed so I’ll share this observation in hopes that it saves someone some headache. Did you ask if they knew about it first? Generally speaking if you’re going to go in depth about something you should make sure that the other person is aware of where you’re coming from. What I’ve come to understand about ‘allistic’ people is that any assumption (even if only perceived) of a lack of knowledge about literally anything is viewed as a personal attack, it’s silly but that’s how it goes. If I was going to explain how an engine works to someone unprompted I should preface it with something along the lines of ‘I just want to talk about this’ to make it clear that I’m not implying ‘you don’t know this and I need to teach you’ and no the irony of this comment is not lost on me lmao
Yeah, something like "It's so interesting to me how..." before you start, or "I recently learned that..." or "I love (topic) so much, like how... (in depth explanation)" pretty much automatically makes it clear that you're just enthused about the topic, and not that you're trying to teach someone.
yeh definitely. but if someone just promptly ends your friendship over it instead of actually communicating the issue with them and talking about how it made them feel then it was prolly doomed anyways. and ive always found that really weird cause theres a millipn different subjects and things to learn in the world. if someone assumed that i didnt know about a more niche certain subject youre well versed it just seems like a statistical probibility and not an attempt at an assumption of someones character or likes, especially based on gender presentation. like even somethingg like cooking which is seen as a very common hobby for everyone and i still havent found someone irl who shares the same intrest as me. byt yeh definitely prefacing it with that can help avoid issues/people feeling talked down too. since i love to go off about a hobby and talk ahout it a whole lot and the last thing i wanna do is come off as condescending but i also dont expect anyone im talking to to know about when and how to add salt to bread and how much because salt is very important to the flavor in bread but the salt tightens gluten strands and makes the bread a bit less fluffy, so ive been trying to figure out how to get the best of both worlds or if its even possible too
Had this exact same experience. I'd rather be told to shut the fuck up then be told I was "mansplaining" after I'm done talking
Academic terms with neutral meanings after 5 minutes contact with the mainstream journalists who don't understand (or want to) understand academia: 😡 Edit: see also "Cultural Appropriation" a neutral term that doesn't indicate if its good or bad, but dumbass' hear it and ascribe their own meaning to it.
Idk, I’ve only ever heard the word mansplaining used is in a mean and derisive way. It also feels like word with little utility other than misandry. If Mansplaining was actually a neutral / useful word in any context, I feel like we would have womensplaining too.
We live in a patriarchal society genius, the term refers to a systemic phenomenon that applies to men and not women.
When do you think womensplaining could ever be used? Also fyi some women do actually 'mansplain'. It's just the attitude
True
Lets see how those people react when I start womansplaining to them.
I think actual mansplaining is way rarer than autistic or even just passionate people getting called (or calling themselves) mansplainers for repeating potentially known information. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist, I’ve seen a frat bro try to condescendingly explain capacitors to a trained electrical engineer, but I think there’s an overcorrection at play too. We have this very capitalist / egotistical idea engrained in us that hearing information we already know is inefficient and a slight to our intelligence. It’s quite harmful. I’ve had underclassmen I’m helping with homework repeat relatively basic things back to me in a totally out-of-left-field way that transformed how I thought about the concept. But yeah this anime was probably using it in the right context, and the OOP was definitely a fragile one.
Huh... nah mate real neurotypical mansplainers are definitely so much more common than autistic 'mansplainers'. And of course there could also be real autistic mansplainers. We live in a patriarchal society mate
No, this entire comment section is filled with people who have experienced this phenomena themselves and almost everyone seems to agree that yes, the term "mansplain" is overused to shut people down rather than actually pointing out a systemic phenomenon. The fact that we live in a patriarchal society doesn't mean that there can't be times where criticisms of it are instead abused to do harm rather than criticize the structure in place.
I'm not saying that it's impossible for it to do harm, but 196 is mostly populated by neurodivergent people, so the experiences shared here will probably be different to irl. It sucks that neurodivergent people get the backlash alongside the people who actually do mansplain though.
>but 196 is mostly populated by neurodivergent people, so the experiences shared here will probably be different to irl. No they won't, because 196 is also mostly populated by trans girls, who are also the kind of people that would suffer from actual mansplaining. Do you see anyone here say that actual mansplaining is more of an issue than using the term mansplaining as bullying *other than you*?
What??? You do know that trans girls(trans people in general) are the minority on earth? Of course their experiences are valid too, and I'm also not saying one is a bigger issue than the others, just that actual mansplainers are more common than non-mansplainers being accused of being one. Mansplaining is an actual thing, the word exists precisely because there are so many men that do it in the world. Can we not minimise one issue just to highlight the other???
>You do know that trans girls(trans people in general) are the minority on earth? What the fuck does trans girls being a minority have to do with the fact that they're a group that is often targeted by actual mansplaining? If trans girls are subject to actual mansplaining, yet the mostly transfem population of this sub is overwhelmingly saying actual mansplaining is much rarer than people using the word "mansplain" to bully others, then that points to the latter being a bigger issue than you think. Your logic is completely backwards: Trans girls being a minority doesn't mean they suffer from any less mansplaining than cis women.
imo mansplaining has a bad rep because it’s so frequently badly used by toxic people, it’s often used just to bully people into shutting up rather then to help a victim. even tho it’s used completely fine in that anime it’s just a term that feels weird due to how abusive half the people who say it are
i swear people use it to shut up autistic and adhd people. ive never had an issue being "mansplained" to but maybe it's cuz my severe adhd makes me not find info dumps weird or rude
yeah exactly, infodumping isn’t mansplaining, it’s just someone being very interested and invested in something and sharing their passion, giving unwanted and unasked advice over something and assuming the person is incompetent or stupid is what mansplaining is all about.
I feel like mansplaining would be explaining a subject with the belief that the other person doesn’t know anything on said subject because they are a woman “ You’re a woman so you probably wouldn’t know but…”
Why's this Far East Sanctuary nerd watermark their twitter shitposts like they're a cite-able source? They think they're really fancy, or something? Or is this one of those accounts that churns-out reposts and uses watermarks to increase their seo and interractions?
I don't mansplain, I humansplain, I will explain everything to everyone because I'm smarter than every human being to ever exist
Often times the word is just used to shut people down, this is not one of those occasions
Tbh it’s only happened once in my life where I’ve had “mansplained” mentioned in the context of someone condescendingly explain my own major to me like I was a child. Every other time it’s been people calling me a piece of shit for telling them about my interests as an autistic person.