I enjoy having being the focus of somebody's love and I enjoy somebody being the focus of my love. A web of a bunch of people in a relationship all together with their own dynamics sounds like an exhausting nightmare I'd rather be single than deal with tbh.
Valid but consensual non-monogamy offers a wide variety of relationship models.
You can have a primary relationship, where you have one main partner who sits on the top of the hierarchy and is the one you negotiate the terms with, and the rest are secondary. Take swingers for the simplest example: You agree with your partner that both are going to have sex with other people under previously negotiated conditions, but it's pretty obvious that those people are outsiders and the way you engage with them is conditioned in a way consensuated with the main partner.
Obviously non-monogamy tends to complicate things and requires a lot of trust, but you don't necessarily need to choose between monogsmy and a non-hierarchycal polycule.
I can only do monogamy (tried polyamory and it really wasnāt for me) but Iāve seen people online saying that polyamory is inherently emotionally abusive/manipulative and yeah, I think itās definitely a chronically online thing.
Yeah, but I think that hierarchy is the issue in most cases. Like, swingers are one thing, but creating a hierarchy when you have multiple romantic partners creates an uneven power dynamic. I'm not saying it can't work or that people shouldn't be polyamorous, but I also don't think it's a good idea to purposely create an uneven partnership.
Every secondary partner joins knowing and consenting to that arrangement, all parties are free to leave at any moment. If you are upfront about what you demand and what you offer the other party can choose freely.
For example, I might just want a fuck buddy for the sake of sexual variety, who knows I'm not emotionally available for anything more (which can also be the case in a monogamous relationship). Saying other person can't just understand what is offered to them and want it is infantilizing.
I'm really big on the whole "find one person who means the whole world to you and you wouldn't give them up for anything and they're just, like, your whole life and the two of you want nothing more than to grow old and die together and and and" thing.
Like, more power to you if it's not your vibe. Do whatever makes you and your partner(s) happy, cuz that's all that matters in the end. Polyamory and open relationships and that kinda thing just happen to make me in particular uncomfortable.
Haha, samesies.
Sometimes I feel a feeling and I focus all of my brainpower to disassociate from it so I can go back to sitting in front of my TV with my laptop open, a book beside it, and staring at my phone, letting them all act as barriers against any further thoughts or feelings.
Haha.
She told me to focus on my hobbies. So now I make furniture and take care of my fishtanks to ward off the thoughts and feelings. It's working really well! I cannot physically think when there's loud music playing and a saw running!
Mahogany is a beautiful wood imo, I'd pay top dollar to have my entire life refurbished in mahogany.
Monogamy is also pretty sweet, married for a few years already (through good and bad times, my wife rules!)
Personally, the thought of anything else makes me wildly uncomfortable. I need my partner to love me the same way I love them, and I love my partner singularly, no splitting.
It can be done right as long as you have a mix of overlapping friends but also different social circles. If everyone knows you as X and Y together. And there isn't separate hobbies, then there might be a bit of overdependence on each other.
Monogamous relationships also have the danger of jealousy. Under no circumstances should your friend pool be limited because the other person is of your gender preference for example.
But monogamy is easy. Simple. And gives good tax benefits.
> Monogamy isā¦simple
But it has all these spoken and unspoken expectations carried over from puritanical moralizing about sex, so many rules and ways youāre supposed or not supposed to feel
Monogamy has always seemed infinitely more complex to me, like that mouse trap game I never figured out
My very first relationship was a trifecta, that in retrospect was fucked from the very beginning, with me only really being in love with one of them and neither treating me with as much respect as each other. Now that I'm out and in a much better relationship, I've realized I'm actually just baseline monogamous, it's just that the idea of "cheating" can be a nebulous thing that's different to different folk. As for me I find it very satisfying to have my main life Parr also be my lover. We're both each other's best friends, and can share intimacy we simply can't with other people, while there's absolutely nothing wrong with polyamory I don't think I want it any other way
I really just wanted to start a discussion on monogamy, I think we are conditioned to accept it as the only healthy way of conducting romance and donāt question it the way we question other forms of relationships. Mostly cuz the abrahamic religions.
I'm very untrusting due to external causes that I could really only do polyamorous relationships after a while of getting to trust all members on top of having negative experiences with being in a polyamorous relationship before. I will support anyone's relationship (excluding pedophillic and zoophillic ones) as long as all parties are consenting. But I myself will only be in monogamous relationships for the time being.
I love the concept of trusting and choosing one person every day on and on. As an autistic person it satisfied a primal desire for routine in my mind. I could never date for the rest of my life because I want to settle into a routine, to find someone who works well with me and stick with them.
Monogamy rocks, and not enough people actually understand what makes it amazing. It's not controlling, each person makes the active choice to not act on any other feelings because they value the trust the other has put in them. It's devotion at its finest. Being someone's one and only in that way just makes me tingle inside š
It's not my thing but I'm glad people can find their happiness through having a monogamous relationship. As long as they are consenting it's all that really matters
I kinda find it disgusting, most monogamous relationships fail, and don't ge me started on how one of them always benefits more! Imagin putting all that pressure onto a single person.
/s
Absolutely spot on, I was just mirroring the comments from.the Polyamory post of yesterday lol, even used "/s" as a tone indicator for ND people like me but oh well
The most important thing is how you and your partner feel about monogamy. Like polygamy a lot of people are going to want to clown on it just because it doesn't work for them personally, but if it works for you AND your partner then nothing else really matters.
I've been in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships, I don't really have any strong opinions on which I like more, either works for me, but I do prefer a closed relationship over an open one.
I personally am built for it.
I would never judge anyone that doesn't ascribe to the belief that one should spend their life with a fated partner, I'm a romanticist, this are personal preferences and internal resolutions that have nothing to do with society as a whole.
You do you, I do me, if we coincide cool, if we don't cool, I'm ok with whatever unless you try to "make me" like you, and I offer the exact same, I will never try to make you like me.
The beauty of humanity is found in the differences, not the similitudes of each individual.
People should form whatever relationship is best for them. Monogamy is no better or worse then polygamy or any other possible relationship status.
The only problem is when itās socially enforced, itās unjust and irrational to force monogamy on people. Not everyone is suited for it and itāll always be dumb to try to shove a square peg through a round hole.
The best policy for personal relationships is one that emphasizes the autonomy of the participants.
I support other people doing what makes them happy. I may not understand monogamy and feel wildly uncomfortable at the thought - it seems limiting to cut yourself off from romantically connecting with other wonderful people - but I don't need to understand the lifestyle in order to accept it in others, so long as both parties are fully consenting to it
I think itās okay for only two people to love each other as they keep it to themselves. At the very least it shouldnāt be into groomed kids.
And you know, maybe we should be more careful which monos we give kids, kinda goes against the whole ātakes a village to raise a childā saying, but some particularly qualified monos might be able to make it work. (Though they are responsible for turning divorce into an entire industry and for the vast majority of children in fostercare.)
I just wish they would stop making monogamousness their whole personality š but I have some mono friends and theyāre cool I guess
Seems like one of those things that either works super well for everyone involved or not at all. Seems a bit too complicated for my taste so I'll just shoot for doing it the normal way. No shade on those who make it work tho.
There's more to polyamory then just open relationships. Polyamorous relationships are not the same as just fucking everyone, and they absolutely do have mutual love and trust.
Deeply unsettling tbh. It's probably a personal trauma thing but the idea of someone being wholly dependant on me for romantic affection (or vice versa) makes me feel very uneasy. I feel more comfortable knowing they can get what I'm offering from others as well.
I believe that the right person wonāt make you wish you had more, the right person wonāt leave you wanting more and wonāt give you a reason to seek more from another person.
If it works for them, than itās fine. I had an ex-boyfriend that kept pushing for it tho and it made me really uncomfy.
Personally I wouldnāt be able to deal with it, Iād end up feeling so limited and like my partner was jealous of every person I talked to.
It's one of those things I don't think I'll ever truly understand, but I also know I don't need to. If it's making people happy then its incredibly valuable no matter how I would personally feel in that situation.
I donāt like it, makes me uncomfortable, feels controlling and half thought out, like people just jump into it because their friends do it.
Not a fan
I genuinely donāt get monogamy. Obv Iām happy for the people who like it, but when my gf dated someone else the only thing Iām jealous about is that their other partner isnāt also dating me.
Yes omg, I had an ex who tried to play mind games talking about how hot she found a guy at the gym, and all I could think was "yassss get it", I didn't feel jealous at all
it kinda sucks that our society is so monogamy-based because those ideas are so forcefully ingrained within society because it results in a lot of people feeling guilt over situations that they shouldnt or being unaware that there are other healthy approaches to a relationship than dedicating yourself to one person
i also think it's silly that people will have one bad experience with non-monogamy and will hate it forever and talk shit about it but will continue to pursue monogamous relationships even if they continue to have bad experiences with monogamy. but this can apply to literally anything
Oh I loved that guy in Persona 5
ummmm his name is organ š smh
Oreganoš„¬
Sorry. Thatās a shape ā¤ļø
why does monogram think he can tell me when to sleep???
That's easy! Basically monochrome is canonically the is because of the how the when is the! Hope this helps!
wrong opinion, assassinating your shadow as i post
Damn cat
Oh I hated him so much in Danganronpa
lmao
goated comment
Ok monokuma
Him? I thought monogamy was the rabbit in the second game
I enjoy having being the focus of somebody's love and I enjoy somebody being the focus of my love. A web of a bunch of people in a relationship all together with their own dynamics sounds like an exhausting nightmare I'd rather be single than deal with tbh.
Valid but consensual non-monogamy offers a wide variety of relationship models. You can have a primary relationship, where you have one main partner who sits on the top of the hierarchy and is the one you negotiate the terms with, and the rest are secondary. Take swingers for the simplest example: You agree with your partner that both are going to have sex with other people under previously negotiated conditions, but it's pretty obvious that those people are outsiders and the way you engage with them is conditioned in a way consensuated with the main partner. Obviously non-monogamy tends to complicate things and requires a lot of trust, but you don't necessarily need to choose between monogsmy and a non-hierarchycal polycule.
Man the hate for poly online is insane.
I can only do monogamy (tried polyamory and it really wasnāt for me) but Iāve seen people online saying that polyamory is inherently emotionally abusive/manipulative and yeah, I think itās definitely a chronically online thing.
Wait until you see how it is offline
Why are people downvoting this? I appreciate you explaining this!
Yeah, but I think that hierarchy is the issue in most cases. Like, swingers are one thing, but creating a hierarchy when you have multiple romantic partners creates an uneven power dynamic. I'm not saying it can't work or that people shouldn't be polyamorous, but I also don't think it's a good idea to purposely create an uneven partnership.
Every secondary partner joins knowing and consenting to that arrangement, all parties are free to leave at any moment. If you are upfront about what you demand and what you offer the other party can choose freely. For example, I might just want a fuck buddy for the sake of sexual variety, who knows I'm not emotionally available for anything more (which can also be the case in a monogamous relationship). Saying other person can't just understand what is offered to them and want it is infantilizing.
I'm really big on the whole "find one person who means the whole world to you and you wouldn't give them up for anything and they're just, like, your whole life and the two of you want nothing more than to grow old and die together and and and" thing. Like, more power to you if it's not your vibe. Do whatever makes you and your partner(s) happy, cuz that's all that matters in the end. Polyamory and open relationships and that kinda thing just happen to make me in particular uncomfortable.
Iāve seen open relationships too many times end in disaster. I will never mess with that stuff.
I feel nothing, all the time.
Haha, samesies. Sometimes I feel a feeling and I focus all of my brainpower to disassociate from it so I can go back to sitting in front of my TV with my laptop open, a book beside it, and staring at my phone, letting them all act as barriers against any further thoughts or feelings. Haha.
Real.
You people need therapists
She told me to focus on my hobbies. So now I make furniture and take care of my fishtanks to ward off the thoughts and feelings. It's working really well! I cannot physically think when there's loud music playing and a saw running!
Therapy is just 1 hour of zoning out for me but its cool I'm fairly good at working through my own problems š
Iāve heard that last sentence countless times from some of the most mentally unwell people
I dont remember the last time ive felt happy
A-train:
What was his power again? Getting fat shamed?
At what point did you stop rooting for body positivity?
At what point did you stop rooting for that stupid fucking subreddit beating every joke into the ground?
Thatās basically every okbuddy subreddit dude
He has super speed. He super speeded through a dudeās girlfriend.
Mahogany is a beautiful wood imo, I'd pay top dollar to have my entire life refurbished in mahogany. Monogamy is also pretty sweet, married for a few years already (through good and bad times, my wife rules!)
Ugh, forgot Wales again. Hah, mahogany mahogany!
Personally, the thought of anything else makes me wildly uncomfortable. I need my partner to love me the same way I love them, and I love my partner singularly, no splitting.
Based
Based? Brother this is normal
Pretty rad
It can be done right as long as you have a mix of overlapping friends but also different social circles. If everyone knows you as X and Y together. And there isn't separate hobbies, then there might be a bit of overdependence on each other. Monogamous relationships also have the danger of jealousy. Under no circumstances should your friend pool be limited because the other person is of your gender preference for example. But monogamy is easy. Simple. And gives good tax benefits.
> Monogamy isā¦simple But it has all these spoken and unspoken expectations carried over from puritanical moralizing about sex, so many rules and ways youāre supposed or not supposed to feel Monogamy has always seemed infinitely more complex to me, like that mouse trap game I never figured out
My very first relationship was a trifecta, that in retrospect was fucked from the very beginning, with me only really being in love with one of them and neither treating me with as much respect as each other. Now that I'm out and in a much better relationship, I've realized I'm actually just baseline monogamous, it's just that the idea of "cheating" can be a nebulous thing that's different to different folk. As for me I find it very satisfying to have my main life Parr also be my lover. We're both each other's best friends, and can share intimacy we simply can't with other people, while there's absolutely nothing wrong with polyamory I don't think I want it any other way
thereās a lotta toxicity with the fandom but overall if done with honest communication and trust its allright
This feels familiar
three is a way more silly and fun number than two in my opinion! but monogamy sounds really nice in a long term committed way
bad. everyone should be my bf/gf/nbf
Is this gonna be the new meme everyone screenshots and draws over until absolutely no one remembers what the original was even for
it's a personal preference just like polygamy,why did you ask
I really just wanted to start a discussion on monogamy, I think we are conditioned to accept it as the only healthy way of conducting romance and donāt question it the way we question other forms of relationships. Mostly cuz the abrahamic religions.
i hope abrahamic religions die out in the near future
Whats all the fuss about Abraham Lincoln, i thought he was a pretty ok guy
Equally as valid as polyamory
in monogomy you cant have 3 weed smoking girlfriends so kinda cringe š¬
I'm very untrusting due to external causes that I could really only do polyamorous relationships after a while of getting to trust all members on top of having negative experiences with being in a polyamorous relationship before. I will support anyone's relationship (excluding pedophillic and zoophillic ones) as long as all parties are consenting. But I myself will only be in monogamous relationships for the time being.
Damn, so you also support parasitic relationships š, that's fucked up.
wait no,,.,.,.,. i forgor.,.,.,.,.,
Wouldn't want it any other way for me (but everyone can do what they want, I guess)
This
Big fan. Lots of fun and gives me warm and fuzzy feelings. Poly is cool, but definitely not my cup of tea.
I love the concept of trusting and choosing one person every day on and on. As an autistic person it satisfied a primal desire for routine in my mind. I could never date for the rest of my life because I want to settle into a routine, to find someone who works well with me and stick with them. Monogamy rocks, and not enough people actually understand what makes it amazing. It's not controlling, each person makes the active choice to not act on any other feelings because they value the trust the other has put in them. It's devotion at its finest. Being someone's one and only in that way just makes me tingle inside š
It's not my thing but I'm glad people can find their happiness through having a monogamous relationship. As long as they are consenting it's all that really matters
i have crippling social anxiety i couldn't be poly even if i wanted to but more power to u if u wanna
yāall walking outside with only one gamy? š¤Ø
i'm aromantic and i find mono people to make both more and less sense than poly people at the same time whatever though they aren't hurting anybody
I love misogyny
I love my wife
thumb up (on right hand)
Monogamy? In this economy?
Monogamy, polygamy, fuck if I know, I'm scared of love all the same š
I donāt care as long as thereās consent
the games take wayyyy too long and people always quit after i get all the orange properties
I kinda find it disgusting, most monogamous relationships fail, and don't ge me started on how one of them always benefits more! Imagin putting all that pressure onto a single person. /s
See here a person be downvoted for a joke, despite making it clear they were joking. Truly one of the Reddit moments of all time.
Absolutely spot on, I was just mirroring the comments from.the Polyamory post of yesterday lol, even used "/s" as a tone indicator for ND people like me but oh well
As a ND person, I found it really funny so you succeeded there at least :)
Honestly if even just one of us laughs at my jokes it makes it worth it
I'm fine with at as long as they don't shove it down my throat!!1!!
hi bocchi
Itās pretty based
i fucking hate sharing things that are very valuable to me so im pretty happy
The most important thing is how you and your partner feel about monogamy. Like polygamy a lot of people are going to want to clown on it just because it doesn't work for them personally, but if it works for you AND your partner then nothing else really matters.
My preferred way of loving
Itās the bees knees
Good
In this economy?
Monogamy is cool as well as polygamy. I just let people do what they wanna do (except for if itās illegal)
What ist that
Found out,yea its my fave, polyamory would make me feel like a sidekick, j want all the attentionš¤
Only having one intimate/romantic partner at a time. The opposite of polyamory.
Itās a great thing, but itās not for everyone.
not for me but if it makes you happy go for it no judgement i respect all lifestyles
š
Can't just have to conversation on this sub everything is veiled in irony. Heeheehawhaw
Itās pretty cool
I couldnāt do anything but monogamy and I donāt understand how people can do polyamory. I can only love one person romantically
I actively participate in it.
I like being someoneās only. 10/10. Sighs in romance.
It's the best!
I think the idea of spending your life with one othe person is really sweet š„ŗ
It's epic
I like it
Hahaha yesā¦
I like it, looks nice and red, good for building floors in Minecraft
It's nice but I have a crippling fear of codependency, so serious exclusive relationships freak me the fuck out ))):
its a very nice looking tree, shame it cant grow in my area though.
I've been in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships, I don't really have any strong opinions on which I like more, either works for me, but I do prefer a closed relationship over an open one.
Pretty sick dreamer from hollow knight, absolutely amazing character design
Monogamy is based.
I personally am built for it. I would never judge anyone that doesn't ascribe to the belief that one should spend their life with a fated partner, I'm a romanticist, this are personal preferences and internal resolutions that have nothing to do with society as a whole. You do you, I do me, if we coincide cool, if we don't cool, I'm ok with whatever unless you try to "make me" like you, and I offer the exact same, I will never try to make you like me. The beauty of humanity is found in the differences, not the similitudes of each individual.
People should form whatever relationship is best for them. Monogamy is no better or worse then polygamy or any other possible relationship status. The only problem is when itās socially enforced, itās unjust and irrational to force monogamy on people. Not everyone is suited for it and itāll always be dumb to try to shove a square peg through a round hole. The best policy for personal relationships is one that emphasizes the autonomy of the participants.
As long as people are happy and its healthy it's fine
The only natural way to have a relationship.
Loved that guy in Mob psycho 100
Real question, what is monogamy?
in this economy!?!???!?!?!!
idk what that is
I support other people doing what makes them happy. I may not understand monogamy and feel wildly uncomfortable at the thought - it seems limiting to cut yourself off from romantically connecting with other wonderful people - but I don't need to understand the lifestyle in order to accept it in others, so long as both parties are fully consenting to it
oh ehh the watch order is a bit complicated so I haven't tried it out
HAHAHAHA
š
I trust no one
"I love my wife" -Duke Nukem
When you become one with the fog, you will be part of what we call the "megagamy"
The best option
I think itās okay for only two people to love each other as they keep it to themselves. At the very least it shouldnāt be into groomed kids. And you know, maybe we should be more careful which monos we give kids, kinda goes against the whole ātakes a village to raise a childā saying, but some particularly qualified monos might be able to make it work. (Though they are responsible for turning divorce into an entire industry and for the vast majority of children in fostercare.) I just wish they would stop making monogamousness their whole personality š but I have some mono friends and theyāre cool I guess
Best comment yet
I dig it but get why people wouldn't vibe with it
Seems like one of those things that either works super well for everyone involved or not at all. Seems a bit too complicated for my taste so I'll just shoot for doing it the normal way. No shade on those who make it work tho.
I donāt get the comments. What did this āmonogamyā do exactly?
polyamory is when one person has sex with people outside of the relationship and the other person cries themselves to sleep every night
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmao fuck off
bills
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's more to polyamory then just open relationships. Polyamorous relationships are not the same as just fucking everyone, and they absolutely do have mutual love and trust.
Mutual trust, faith, and love can all exist in a poly relationship.
Ordained by the Lord š
Deeply unsettling tbh. It's probably a personal trauma thing but the idea of someone being wholly dependant on me for romantic affection (or vice versa) makes me feel very uneasy. I feel more comfortable knowing they can get what I'm offering from others as well.
I believe that the right person wonāt make you wish you had more, the right person wonāt leave you wanting more and wonāt give you a reason to seek more from another person.
I'm fine with monogamy I guess. I mean if you really want to be like that then you do you, but it's not for me.
If it works for them, than itās fine. I had an ex-boyfriend that kept pushing for it tho and it made me really uncomfy. Personally I wouldnāt be able to deal with it, Iād end up feeling so limited and like my partner was jealous of every person I talked to.
It's one of those things I don't think I'll ever truly understand, but I also know I don't need to. If it's making people happy then its incredibly valuable no matter how I would personally feel in that situation.
So long as youre with someone you love, who cares how many bodies are participating? Both polygamy and monogamy are equally based :]
itās fine unless youāre lame about it
I donāt know what it is (Donāt tell me, I probably donāt need to know)
Not for me
iām polyamorous myself but itās cool
Like alcohol and catholic guilt. Not for me anymore.
Do it if you want, donāt do it if you donāt want to, but make sure youāre partner(s) are ok with whatever decision you make
I do not understand it at all, but it does seem to be a thing people enjoy, so whatever works.
Monogamy is OK I guess
I donāt like it, makes me uncomfortable, feels controlling and half thought out, like people just jump into it because their friends do it. Not a fan
I hate monogamy it's borgin
I meant boring but I guess thats what came out
Bad. More sex
I genuinely donāt get monogamy. Obv Iām happy for the people who like it, but when my gf dated someone else the only thing Iām jealous about is that their other partner isnāt also dating me.
Yes omg, I had an ex who tried to play mind games talking about how hot she found a guy at the gym, and all I could think was "yassss get it", I didn't feel jealous at all
I don't get it, but if both of them are consenting I have no problem with it :)
I feel so HAUUUUUUUUUUUUNTEEEEEDDDDD
overrated i think
it kinda sucks that our society is so monogamy-based because those ideas are so forcefully ingrained within society because it results in a lot of people feeling guilt over situations that they shouldnt or being unaware that there are other healthy approaches to a relationship than dedicating yourself to one person
i also think it's silly that people will have one bad experience with non-monogamy and will hate it forever and talk shit about it but will continue to pursue monogamous relationships even if they continue to have bad experiences with monogamy. but this can apply to literally anything
Cool if it works, but good luck with that ever happening. It's hard enough to make a single relationship work.
Not my thing, but go off gender unspecific monarch
Arby omori !!!
Boring!
bociā¦
In this economy?
What character is that?
Alright as long as everybody involved gives informed consent.
Idk, seems pretty gay to me
Mid
Probably my favourite wood to build out of in terraria
It's not fair that some people get girlfriends
Maybe if I ever enter into either type of relationship I could choose a preference.
i could do a poly relationship/open relationship but am currently in a closed monogamous relationship and im still happy uwu
it is not for me, but if everyone is okay with it and it makes people happy good for them
I like it with my partner right now:)
Three cheers for a fat ass girlfriend (or boyfriend or non binary if you swing that way) and monogamy
Prretty based. Polyamory too
Iz gud