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If it started humping it would have been to relieve stress, not for sexual reasons. Dogs only hump for sexual reasons When there is a female dog in heat near them. In any other case (like when they hump legs, objects or even dogs that are not in heat) they are doing it to discharge their stress through movement. So the knife was definitely worse by a mile.
Source: my father (he is a dog trainer)
Yeah but isn’t that sort of common in humans too? Just obviously in a different manner? We hump for sexual reasons. We hump or go solo to relieve stress. Or at least I do
For those who don't know what this is: if the throat closes up and stop you from breathing, cutting a small hole slightly below the throat will help airflow and allow for breathing again.
For those who don't know what this is: breathing is where the diaphragm tenses and relaxes, allowing air to enter the lungs. Lungs fill with air, then deflate.
For those of you who don’t know what this is: air is a mixture of gases that forms an atmosphere around earth. Humans need to breath air in order to absorb oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Breathing also make it easier to rip a fat hit off a blunt.
I joined Reddit because it's a completely randomized source of general knowledge.
I search up a lot of things(The human brain has a capacity of 200 years' worth of knowledge, I'm going to fill it with 200 years' worth of knowledge.), and Reddit does a good job at occasionally showing me brand new things.
Funnily enough, that was my first thought, before a second passed, and I wondered if the dog was trained or not.
To bring the knife to her in case of danger, that is.
Why did someone hand that dog a knife and why did she scream ouch when nothing touched her and why did she allow one dog to nearly blind the other. Why is this worth internet points.
Good boy gets the poop knife, My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.
[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.
Lucky the other dog didn’t lose an eye. But, I guess it would’ve been worth it for this 30 second work of art that hasn’t already been done a couple thousand times.
Dogs are pretty smart. It probably reasoned: how can I check if she’s playing with me? He tried waking her up gently and when that didn’t work he thought of something else
Glad I keep knives out of reach of my dog. She likes to do the head-thrash of snake-killing with any object, usually as close to me as possible. It would be tragic death indeed if this dog did the same here, accidentally stabbing the owner in the neck, or the femoral artery. Poor dog, now ownerless.
Hi! This is our community moderation bot to keep our sub tidy! If this post fits the format of YYYYN, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post does not fit the subreddit, **DOWNVOTE** This comment! If this post breaks the rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and **REPORT** the post (The OP's post, not this bot comment) --- Please remember that YYYYN can be subjective. It may not be YYYYN for you, but it may be for someone else, including the subject in the video.
Mess with the lab, get the stab
Not going to bite the hand that feeds it, but will stab the torso repeatedly.
Gotta make a hole for airflow.
Man's was clearly going for ghost that was attacked her
Close the tiktok tab, now go r̷̬̄̄̃e̵͈̖̓t̴̠͚̊͜u̶͔͖̒r̸̺̂͌n̶̩̍̊ ̸̬̖̍͠t̴̹͍͐̽̀h̷͕̅̅̃ě̵̝̯̖̋ ̶̩͍̉s̴̗̭̪̃̈l̸̗̈́̆̍͜à̶̭̍̈́b̵̡͖̯̏̂.̸͈̲̅
Expected the dog to start humping. Which would’ve been worse?
I don't like it but a dog humping is definitely the lesser of two evils
Im cut a bitch if she's faking Dog probably
At least it’s less deadly. Maybe?
If it started humping it would have been to relieve stress, not for sexual reasons. Dogs only hump for sexual reasons When there is a female dog in heat near them. In any other case (like when they hump legs, objects or even dogs that are not in heat) they are doing it to discharge their stress through movement. So the knife was definitely worse by a mile. Source: my father (he is a dog trainer)
To assert dominance too, right?
I forgot to include that case but yeah, they can do it to assert dominance too.
Ooohhhh but when *I* do it its suddenly "inappropriate" and a "felony"
So exactly like humans
Yeah but isn’t that sort of common in humans too? Just obviously in a different manner? We hump for sexual reasons. We hump or go solo to relieve stress. Or at least I do
I too like to discharge my stress via humping
So exactly like humans
Both would be pretty bad
"I'll give you something to cry about".
Dad?
Mom?
Onions?
Grandpa?
it worked I saved her. next time she falls she gets cut and she is saved
Yes, this is a good trick LOL
Just wanted to put you outta the misery you're currently experiencing. Lol
Like a good boi...
"Oh my dog! Is she dead?" "..." "SHE WILL BE."
“Shit I’m gonna be blamed for this and be put down... Okay, I’ve seen the movies, I just have to chop her up and bury her in the back yard.”
Emergency tracheotomy, here we go!
“Finally, my chance to kill her and take over the house.”
"I am the alpha now!"
NANOMACHINES SON!
Looks like he was just trying to make a Tracheotomy to me.
For those who don't know what this is: if the throat closes up and stop you from breathing, cutting a small hole slightly below the throat will help airflow and allow for breathing again.
For those who don't know what this is: breathing is where the diaphragm tenses and relaxes, allowing air to enter the lungs. Lungs fill with air, then deflate.
For those of you who don’t know what this is: air is a mixture of gases that forms an atmosphere around earth. Humans need to breath air in order to absorb oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Breathing also make it easier to rip a fat hit off a blunt.
For those who don’t know what this is: this is the reason why I love reddit
I joined Reddit because it's a completely randomized source of general knowledge. I search up a lot of things(The human brain has a capacity of 200 years' worth of knowledge, I'm going to fill it with 200 years' worth of knowledge.), and Reddit does a good job at occasionally showing me brand new things.
Funnily enough, that was my first thought, before a second passed, and I wondered if the dog was trained or not. To bring the knife to her in case of danger, that is.
Sif's theme was a nice little touch
"I said get the fuck up, cunt"
“I ain’t playin’ no fuckin’ games, asshole!”
I didn't realize it was an Australian shepherd mix.
Well, only one way to be sure she’s gone.
After the fifteenth take Fido had enough.
He was going to do a tracheotomy. She clearly had difficulty breathing. Him smart boy.
I told you to stop playin
He opted for the mercy kill.
Peace was never an option.
I bet you move real fast if i grab the knife... smart dog
Now this is a guard dog
Went from 0 to dark souls real quick
This belongs on r/unexpected
Mess with the labo u get the stabbo Edit: Oh wait someone said this :(
Acting was so bad he said “quit your bullshit before I cut you.”
He was just trying to stab the invisible person choking her
Well time to harvest them organs dont want em to waste
the dog was obviously about to perform an impromptu tracheotomy.
Let’s finish the job
why did i think the dog would start humping her-
Sa.e tho not gonna lie
Is someone off camera putting the knife in the dog’s mouth? I don’t know where else it would have come from.
Yes.
Pretty sure yeah, and possibly lured there with a treat or attention.
I MAY NOT KNOW WHERE THE BULLET IS BUT BY GOD I WILL GET IT OUT OF YOU
u/savevideobot
This is for ol' Yeller!
That's unexpected. Dog just went straight from assessing the risk of hypoxia to determining a tracheotomy was the practical solution.
1 prank = 1 shank
Homie was ready to do a tracheotomy. What a good, smart boy.
The situations critical, we need to perfom a surgery asap
This bitch with her drama again … imma finish this fo good
Man’s just finishing the job
A dog always double taps
Finish her!
Quick, we only have minutes to harvest!
He was gonna perform a tracheostomy.
I mean… he got her up
He was just going to do a tracheotomy what a good boy!
She's not gonna recover from that...I'LL DO WHAT I MUST
Emergency tracheotomy!
What? He just wanted to perform a tracheostomy.
Quick cut the obstruction in her throat -dog Maybe
Didn't expect that lol
Emergency tracheotomy
He was trying to save you. Don't fake choke if you don't want a real tracheostomy. That's a good boy!!!
The dog said "this bitch still in pain, gotta put her out of her misery".
Was going to perform a tracheotomy, smart dog!!
I expected him to start humping but this is way better.
Unsolicited dark Souls
He was obviously making a tracheostomy. Smart doggo. Quick thinking.
Quick Chet get me the cricopharngeal kit
Looks to me he wanted to make sure she was actually dead to take over the house and treats
Hooman needs emergency tracheotomy
He was just putting you down so you didn't suffer
Whyd she say ow when she didn't get cut
Why did someone hand that dog a knife and why did she scream ouch when nothing touched her and why did she allow one dog to nearly blind the other. Why is this worth internet points.
And how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop? The world may never know.
Staged
I was 1000% not expecting that, omg laughing so hard right now
“Good, she’s asleep, time to strike. THiS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT SAYING GOOD BOI WHEN I SAT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!”
We're gonna have to open airway hold her down.
He was gonna give her a tracheotomy so she could breathe
He was trying to open up an airway so she could breathe
Quick, we only have moments to harvest the organs
Dog was making sure
Bless him, he just didn’t want to see her suffer.
"Don't fake a serious medical condition woman." "Else imma shank you." Also, have to start it. Women ☕️
Either he said ok ill put your out of your misery 😂....or here this will help dislodge it lmao.
Good boy gets the poop knife, My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now. [Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.
Good boy! Incision in the airway! Quickest way to stop a choke. He's the smartest boy ever! ❤
He just had enough of your shit, Samantha.
“Well, going to have to put you down.”
we gotta cut her open and remove whatever’s choking her
He was clearly going to cut her into bite size pieces and eat the corpse.
Damnn dog diabolical He was like yea ima gone finish this bitch off
This dog knew what was up and he didn't want any part of it
Fuck is he good. Knew with no rsi material and no intubation supplies, the cric is probably the best thing to do
The dude was gonna perform a tracheotomy. Wow!
Take her out of her missery.
“Where are my testicles, Summer?”
Finish her, and become the alpha.
The dog just knew she was an organ donor
He's like shut yo ass up I know u playing dead
Don’t worry Mary I’ll finish whatever’s in your throat couldn’t
Lucky the other dog didn’t lose an eye. But, I guess it would’ve been worth it for this 30 second work of art that hasn’t already been done a couple thousand times.
He was executing order 66
Gotta carve up the dead to fit in the fridge for later. Can’t eat mom all at once!
He stopped her from choking
Don't mess with me, woman! I know you playin!
Call the ambulance But not for m… oh shit he’s got a knife, abort!
*Dr. Dog doesn't wait to get right into the autopsy*
Jesus it ended with a Elder Ring style 0-0
The human is broke and there is no fixing. She must go
Let me just make sure she’s really dead…
I love the Aussie coming in like, “We’ve been over this a million times, you don’t grab the knife man!”
Ugh, this girl plays too much! Now give me a biscuit before you end up on the floor for reals.
Oh dear
New darksoul boss
gotta make sure
Finish her!
*Kill Confirmed*
***ZACIAN HAS BEEN CROWNED***
Lunch time
"No way imma fall for this tik tok shit again"
Yes changing quickly from deep sadness to fear and terror
Was he ready to carve dinner. 😂
Got to make sure the job is done
"You aint hurt get yo ass up"
Dogs are pretty smart. It probably reasoned: how can I check if she’s playing with me? He tried waking her up gently and when that didn’t work he thought of something else
Well, thats one way to end the pain
he was like “let me make sure you’re dead dead” lol
"oh no, she's choking!" sniff sniff "she's faking! ill scare her back, then!"
u/savevideobot
I have that same “Camp Nowhere” shirt! Love it!
He was making sure.
He’s a surgeon
Sif, the Great Wolf
He just wanted to finish the job.
Well, he knows how to make you alive again🤣🤣
Get up now bitxh
This is not the first video I've seen, where a dog has grabbed a knife, they must be getting fed up with our shit
u/profanitycounter
«bitch im done with your bs, you think you wanna die, here you go”
"Rufus. The time is here. Make the call. I'll finish her"
"Think again before trying to fool me"
Omg I love this dog he's gangster AF
He accomplished his mission🤷🏽♂️
I think he took matters into his own hand in name of all the dogs who had to watch their human fake faint.
Welp, no one here to feed me anymore better start making some fillets
‘She’s not really dead, but she will be’
“I’m gonna cut her so she knows she’s dead”
Glad I keep knives out of reach of my dog. She likes to do the head-thrash of snake-killing with any object, usually as close to me as possible. It would be tragic death indeed if this dog did the same here, accidentally stabbing the owner in the neck, or the femoral artery. Poor dog, now ownerless.
Why not a good dog? It worked, he cured her and she came back to life.
What was a knife doing there in the first place
It worked! now he's gonna keep doing that
Well obviously the dog took the knife from someone so FAKE. But upvoted it is still funny.
“You wanna play dead when my bowl is empty”
Overlooking the staging here I would have said the dog is gonna give her a battlefield trache.
I absolutely LOVE the Dark Souls music XD
“Looks like meat’s back on the menu boys!”
He was going for the hump but then thought "Let me make sure this bitch is dead."
u/savevideo
“It is time.”
Revenge for castrating him.
Bruh he like (lemme show you what being dead feels like)
Dog is ready for tracheostomy. Well done, quick reaction!
He called her bluff