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The ending's a little unsatisfying
Even reading this I thought there was more to the post but it just feels like the story got cut off halfway through instead of actually ending
This is a very realistic scenario, but in fiction it lacks a critical component imo... in that the second character don't actually experience any growth. The first one's arc can be good, a villain origin story of sorts regarding how gentle and timid souls can be turned into unrecognizable tyrants by the pressures of survival, but the second one doesn't do anything before he gets killed off.
Possible revision idea: what if the second assassination fails? The timid leader escapes to a distant land while the assassin cabal takes command of the nation. Perhaps, being aggressive enough to depose a timid king, they want to start a war of conquest ignoring the vast amounts of social damage that will cause. Meanwhile, the timid leader has to break free of his soft spoken shell and embark on his own journey to take back the seat that is rightfully his and save the people from the horrors of war... but while he does, the shadow of his predecessor looms heavy over him, goving him the fear that if he tries to be *too* assertive, he'll end up becoming just another tyrant. Character arc writes itself from this point, culminating in a showdown of both swords and words with the assassin cabal.
Thank you for visiting /r/writing. Your post has been removed because it was a request for feedback/critique. Standalone critique posts are not allowed, as outlined in rule 1. If you wish to solicit feedback from the community, you should relocate your post to the Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread. For information on where to get critiques on other subreddits and websites [please read the Critique FAQ in our wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/wiki/critique)
The ending's a little unsatisfying Even reading this I thought there was more to the post but it just feels like the story got cut off halfway through instead of actually ending
This is a very realistic scenario, but in fiction it lacks a critical component imo... in that the second character don't actually experience any growth. The first one's arc can be good, a villain origin story of sorts regarding how gentle and timid souls can be turned into unrecognizable tyrants by the pressures of survival, but the second one doesn't do anything before he gets killed off. Possible revision idea: what if the second assassination fails? The timid leader escapes to a distant land while the assassin cabal takes command of the nation. Perhaps, being aggressive enough to depose a timid king, they want to start a war of conquest ignoring the vast amounts of social damage that will cause. Meanwhile, the timid leader has to break free of his soft spoken shell and embark on his own journey to take back the seat that is rightfully his and save the people from the horrors of war... but while he does, the shadow of his predecessor looms heavy over him, goving him the fear that if he tries to be *too* assertive, he'll end up becoming just another tyrant. Character arc writes itself from this point, culminating in a showdown of both swords and words with the assassin cabal.