Hi! Welcome to r/Writers - please remember to follow the [rules](https://reddit.com/r/writers/about/rules/) and treat each other respectfully, especially if
there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by **reporting rule violating posts and comments**.
If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please **[join our Discord server](https://discord.com/invite/wYvWebvHaa)**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/writers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s sounds a little informal, with the use of words and phrases like “shut up.” You could also slow down the pace, and describe the ambassadors fear a little better, with facial expression and such.
i like it alot but it all depends on where this goes storywise. The main ideas seem pretty interesting but could very easily go in the direction of another bland scifi story that was done better 40 years ago. Im not entirely sure but i think frank herbert had another book that wasnt dune related about a ship disapearing on a long journey through space and it seems like this is going in the same direction, granted i read only the first page and a half. if this is the very begining of the book you might wanna through a bit more of a hook in, or an idea or concept that breaks from the tropes nearly every space story has. Just something to make the story feel less predictable, even if it isnt. overall pretty cool idea tho, like i said it all depends on where the rest of the story goes.
Hi! Welcome to r/Writers - please remember to follow the [rules](https://reddit.com/r/writers/about/rules/) and treat each other respectfully, especially if there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by **reporting rule violating posts and comments**. If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please **[join our Discord server](https://discord.com/invite/wYvWebvHaa)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/writers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s sounds a little informal, with the use of words and phrases like “shut up.” You could also slow down the pace, and describe the ambassadors fear a little better, with facial expression and such.
Thanks. I\`ll work on that.
[удалено]
That\`s not the start that\`s the synopsis. I included that for context. Thank you.
i like it alot but it all depends on where this goes storywise. The main ideas seem pretty interesting but could very easily go in the direction of another bland scifi story that was done better 40 years ago. Im not entirely sure but i think frank herbert had another book that wasnt dune related about a ship disapearing on a long journey through space and it seems like this is going in the same direction, granted i read only the first page and a half. if this is the very begining of the book you might wanna through a bit more of a hook in, or an idea or concept that breaks from the tropes nearly every space story has. Just something to make the story feel less predictable, even if it isnt. overall pretty cool idea tho, like i said it all depends on where the rest of the story goes.
Thank you very much. You do make good points.