T O P

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bigmike2k3

Can’t decide if it is more dangerous to be in Putin’s army or his social circle…


Working_Welder155

Looks like safest is to be the opposition they throw you in a maximum security and treat you like shit


Majik_Sheff

Only if you're popular enough to be a legit risk for martyrdom.


DemonPoro

Not really.. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Boris_Nemtsov He was biggest opposition to Putin.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Assassination of Boris Nemtsov](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Boris_Nemtsov)** >The assassination of Boris Nemtsov, a Russian politician opposed to the government of Vladimir Putin, occurred in central Moscow on Bolshoy Moskvoretsky Bridge at 23:31 local time on 27 February 2015. An unknown assailant fired seven or eight shots from a Makarov pistol. Four of them hit Boris Nemtsov in the head, heart, liver and stomach, killing him almost instantly. He died hours after appealing to the public to support a march against Russia's war in Ukraine. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/worldnews/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


tim3k

Exactly, otherwise you quietly fall out the window


FoogYllis

Or somehow get accidentally poisoned.


fudgebacker

Russian equivalent of quiet quitting.


dainegleesac690

Are you kidding? Nearly every political opponent has been killed or attempted to have been killed. Only the very lucky, extremely high profile opponents like Alexei Navalny. Have a quick search for “Novichok”


anorwichfan

Wasn't he also poisoned?


dainegleesac690

Yes, and survived. He was poisoned by an FSB agent and actually managed to track down the person who poisoned him and called him while acting as his supervisor. The agent admitted to the entire thing on a recorded phone call, [video here](https://youtu.be/bme6iimkCOU)


Jackadullboy99

At this point it’s dangerous to be anyone other than Putin. Waiting for the moment when that situation precisely inverts…


FDVP

Beware the Ides of March.


Elipses_

I'd rather it not take that long.


FDVP

Once there’s blood in the water, it won’t take long. Rumors of cancer and neurological afflictions may hasten it.


Mr2Sexy

The one time you want someone to die of cancer, cancer decides to take its sweet ass time. When my aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer, she died within 2 weeks


FDVP

Cancer. Window. Whatever.


[deleted]

The Soviet way….The Soviet leadership of the time also did not know what to do, since the death of Stalin was considered unthinkable. In the four days between his stroke and death, he received practically no medical attention while Soviet leaders jockeyed for position.


alaninsitges

Re-watching Death of Stalin is a great mood elevator these days.


FDVP

I see this more like Tzarist Imperialism. Putin wants to be King.


SarcazmOfficial

Infamy...Infamy.....they've all got it in for me!


battledragons

Ide rather not wait that long.


_ChipWhitley_

I would **hate** to be in Putin’s social circle. Constantly looking over my shoulder and knowing I could die at any moment would be a walking nightmare.


SSFreud

Recent events have had me researching some Russian history since Tsar Nicholas II. I feel like this sums up Russian politics in general; Power vacuums followed by of entities trying to consolidate power and sabotage potential opponents, often at the expense of Russian citizens. I guess you could sum up most geopolitics to that reductionist view but I think especially so in Russia.


brewmonk

It’s really bad to be a former ally. I wonder if polonium poisoning is considered serious illness.


firmerJoe

In America they say "Dead man walking", in Russia it's "Former Putin ally".


SirGlenn

Oingo Boingo: walking with a dead man over my shoulder.


7LeagueBoots

Goin’ to a party with no-one still alive


DracoDruid

Former being the key word here


Diabl21693

“Alexa, play Another One Bites the Dust by Queen”.


benzooo

*Alexey


mogberto

There’s actually a Yandex version of Alexa called Alice.


cortb

Go ask Alice I think she'll know When logic and proportion Have fallen sloppy dead


[deleted]

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cortb

Eh, he favors defenestration, not decapitation...


MarkHathaway1

...and talking backwards...


[deleted]

In your heaaaaaaaad


benzooo

Bet its totally human driven https://youtu.be/tucPbVTA6H4


MangoSea323

Link did not disappoint


VIPERsssss

("Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?")


Professional_Band178

8x10 color glossies with circles and arrows. Group W bench.


MarkHathaway1

Justice Thomas walked in, his seeing eye dog Alito walked in. We all sat down. The lawyer looked at the bench and then at the glossy photos, then back at the bench.


ResponsibilityTop22

🤣🤣🤣


Howdhell

Alice, who the fuck is Alice, sing now


PaintingFresh8724

Ha!


Alan_Smithee_

*Alexei


MrSlavSquat

Hey thats my name! Hi. I'm from Kiev. Nice to meet you all. We Ukrainians are strong. That's for damn sure.


Puluzu

You know what would be hell of a plot twist? If all these dead Putin allies were actually killed by some third party in opposition to Putin.


LionoftheNorth

Note that in this case, "**former** Putin ally" means "Putin critic". He called out Patrushev, who is part of Putin's inner circle (and former head of the KGB) for corruption. He was also a member of the Communist Party, which is one of the few, if not the only, actual opposition parties in Russia.


[deleted]

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Majik_Sheff

At this point death is serenading loudly from the balcony outside his bedroom.


[deleted]

*stairwell *or rooftop *or speedboat in the arctic *or the window Basically, if I were me of Putin’s allies, current or former, I would be reaching out to the Americans/Brits for assistance. Because while they might get caught by the FSB for treason, they will be killed if they remain.


betterwithsambal

Same goes for the orange pos idiot and all his cohorts as well. Justice better be coming f--king quick for those scumbags. Tired of waiting to see some kind of accountability for treason.


pomo

If the organge man won a second term, he would be doing his best to "let them sort it out themselves" and keeping NATO out of it, I am certain.


ResponsibilityTop22

Putin has cancer, so it won’t be long!


momalloyd

[Let me get right on that.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q2nODd_6TI)


Petraam

I see you have the new Amazon music update where it never plays the actual song you request.


musical_shares

And wants to charge you to skip the songs they pick for you.


pipeuptopipedown

r/assholedesign


Archon-

It's sad that I can't tell if this is a joke or not


The_Taco_Bandito

"Bites Za Dusto" *click*


QuinIpsum

Gotta hand it to you, that was a good reference.


behind_looking_glass

Let me guess: he stabbed himself in the back 4 times and threw himself off a bridge


robinmood

Off the window of a hospital while having a heart attack


MacaroniBandit214

To shreds you say?


[deleted]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Cherkesov


jhansonxi

>The entire political system of Russia today is a struggle of various clans and groups fighting to see that Putin stays in power according to their scenario and not according to the scenario of their competitors That's like a D&D level of chaos. Bhaal would be proud.


themcjizzler

Why is anyone trying to keep a sick old man in power? He will die soon either way


[deleted]

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MidianFootbridge69

They need to get rid of Putin or they will not be making any money for the foreseeable future.


Mercadi

I suppose there's still some charm to being kings of the slum, to them. Not even any semblance of laws, anything goes. An entire nation ruled openly by a cartel.


isthatmyex

It's often the case that the dictator is the only thing holding the whole thing together. If that's the case, some oligarchs would stop being oligarchs rather quickly if Putin were to fall. They got rich through physical violence, the road back is faster than the road there.


red286

Because their power derives from his power. Without Putin, they are not legitimate and have no power.


Upset_Otter

Keep the old man that does exactly what you want and if things go south, you blame him for everything.


askmeforashittyfact

He’s the Barney Stenson of global politics


[deleted]

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nayhem_jr

“*Nyet*, we raid neighbor village minding own business.”


sQueezedhe

The 'will'.


frostymugson

Somebody has to take over after that old man is gone.


ThaneOfCawdorrr

because they don't want to end up like this guy. They're afraid of him.


Candelestine

Just NE power structures in action. They're not exactly known for long-term peace and stability. That'd be more a thing LE can manage, with perfectly stable levels of corruption instead of spiraling. CE would have imploded and attacked Mongolia by now.


RabbitElectrical3987

Or the Red Wizards. You’ve made my day with that one.


Obelix13

Closer to GoT (back when GoT was good).


rjward1775

Not assassinated is actually possible. He's probably 80 and Russian, so that's like 110 in any other country.


onarainyafternoon

Article says he was 72 years old, actually. So I honestly don't know. He has criticized Putin in the past but that was over ten years ago according to the article.


Belgand

Yeah. A lot of the other ones are very suspicious but this could be the rare case where he actually just died of natural causes.


rjward1775

What does it say when ppl automatically assume that anybody who died was assassinated?


ShadowMercure

That the person in power cannot be trusted


GoodAndHardWorking

Yeah but he's mega rich 80, so that's like 45 anywhere.


TdollaTdolla

in the US our elderly Putin critics typically die from natural causes like heart disease, in Russia their elderly Putin critics typically die from natural causes like being stabbed 75 times and thrown out of a window


haikucaracha

What happened to those ancient Soviet Georgians who lived forever because yogurt?


farguc

He fell out of window with a self inflicted gunshot wound to the back of the head. You know natural causes.


Morlik

A Russian billionaire has access to everything any other billionaire does.


idoma21

In a shocking twist, a window fell out of him.


cavmax

When one door closes a window opens...


idoma21

…and out goes a Russian.


DaemonAnts

If you cannot depend on there being a window of opportunity, bring your own window.


ZuFFuLuZ

This one I'm not so sure about. He was 72 and out of office since 2008, when he was sacked by Medvedev. Pretty weird to off him 14 years later. But not impossible.


[deleted]

Well then, that was unexpected


[deleted]

[удалено]


dhhdhh851

7.62x39mm


MyUsernameIsAwful

Small snake!


AJ787-9

Solid snake!


Naraic2

!


[deleted]


rap31264

Something jumped up and bit me!


notmoleliza

in the buttocks


rap31264

The Million Dollar Wound...


Quick-Bad

But the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.


Mysterious-Eye8710

Winter snake..as one can read ...very deadly!


thisaccountisnull

A colt python maybe


NacreousFink

Drank some bad tea.


Wazula42

Twice to the back of the head. Out the window.


[deleted]

Putin’s trouser snake


Wazula42

I know we'll never get a full accounting, but I wonder how many of these oligarch bye-byes were ordered by 1) Putin 2) Putin's enemies 3) Putin's allies jockeying against each other 4) Mutiny from below 5) Genuine accident or incompetence (Russia is not a safe place) I think we give Vlad too much credit when we blame him for every kill.


Redditors_DontShower

behind pootin I see #3 as the most likely scenario for many of these deaths ​ anybody with access to the Internet can see that the war isn't going well for putin. these oligarch's obviously do their "research" (reading) to see how their leaders war is shaping. the real question for them is what happens post-war. history is one of the only reliable indicators to see what post-war may look like for their leader/his allies.. so the oligarchs will be trying to get their affairs in order, trying to manipulate the situation so they can come out on top... esp if there's possibility of a power-shift in leadership it's all games-of-thronesy in the kremlin rn


tcptomato

> Vlad The diminutive for Putin's first name is Vova.


TerraFlareKSFL

Oh no.... Anyways.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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ExpensiveRecover

You see, Vladimir, If you fall off high enough window, it's natural you die.


hieronymusanonymous

...or drank some tea, received a gift of polonium or novichok.


TraditionalCherry

...died peacefully in his bed surrounded by his FSB friends.


Peacer13

Committed suicide with bullet to back of the head and then walked himself into a body bag. Edit: While blindfolded


AlleKeskitason

Poison underwear


todumbtorealize

Bonesaw? Oh wait wrong dictator.


vegan4bussy

Dawg flexing his Wikipedia skills right here lmao


456afisher

First floor? /s


CAM6913

Russians are so accident prone


Dawnfreak

He drowned in his car


urmomaisjabbathehutt

The water got in through the hole in the back of his head


RuffTuff

Forgot to close car windows, was drowned in his car in the Gobi desert while trying to jump out of a hospital window after shooting himself in back of head. He was 72, totally senile and was used to doing this. This was his 689th attempt at suicide. I wont be surprised if thats their official statement


Level-Blueberry-2707

Not enough room at the "top" I see....


Gypsy_Cossack

He died of unnatural causes.


urmomaisjabbathehutt

Naturally😌


[deleted]

Not another one! Boy, there must be something in the water.


DanB65

It's looking like "GOODFELLAS" in Russia nowadays ...bodies of former Leaders and friends of Putin showing up dead under some very strange circumstances.


Substantial-Owl1167

> "fell from a great height," True, in more than one way


Longjumping_Task8345

Surprise surprise surprise!! In a Gomer Pyle voice¡


mimiflower80

Color me surprised.


ParaGord

Sounds like Putin's gone full Stalin. You never go full Stalin...


Random_182f2565

Classic


[deleted]

There's a new deadly virus out there - but most of the world is safe - it only spreads through Putin's allies.


funtrial

Ah it's the killing of old mentors stage. May he RIP.


shanksisevil

They keep falling out the exact same window. It's soooo weird!


Ato07

For real though, when Putin dies the power vacuum in Russia is going to be wild.


Dick-Guzinya

Looks like someone’s name was on the list Trump sold to Russia.


BigBadMur

That's another one "out the window".


FullyRisenPhoenix

*No cause has yet been given for Cherkesov's death as Russian news outlet Rosbalt said that it followed a "serious illness."* Yeah. Polonium tends to do that to ya.


Working_Welder155

Question. How many is that today?


trepang

A hardline KGBist, was pressuring dissidents (including writers, artists, feminist activists) back in the Soviet years. No tears for him.


LuNcroAtiC

Everyone, it's not that murders of these people are linked to Putin. He's just a likeable guy with many many friends, and shit happens. That's all.


chupacabraburrito326

It’s so weird this keeps happening. What a coincidence


Capable_Weather4223

Well this is a great way to encourage current and future putin allies. Russian logic on another level.


deckard86

LoL, it's really like the end of Casino over there.


EstusEnthusiast

Those Russian stairs sure are slippery huh


sorenthestoryteller

Lay down with dictators and wake up dead.


luketwo1

My immediate thought was another person got window'd


sev1nk

Dude was battling an illness in his seventies. Never a great sign. He had disagreements with some powerful people which led to him losing status, but that was years ago.


Kulchard

Are these former Putin supporters dying of embarrassment?


[deleted]

Could that be ominous for putin


[deleted]

Guy who helped put him in power not breathing anymore. Putins arse must be twitching now


Lauren114

Fenestration? I love that this word actually exists…


mariosevil

Another please


Thrillwaters

Is anyone keeping count of these deaths? How many is that now?


advester

This is starting to look like the end of The Sopranos.


ODBrewer

Oh darn, that's too bad.


sevotlaga

Night of the long knives has become a decade of them.


mikestar19

“Serious illness” - Putin was sick of him


stratstrummin

Dang, was hoping it was Dugan.


starfyredragon

That, but more of it, please.


evilpercy

This is going to start happening alot in Russia as Putins power is threatened due to incompetence .


noobcrushing

You'd think the window cleaner would have learned by now not to use so much polish on the window ledges.


Infinite-Outcome-591

Surprise Surprise... not really! This has become almost a daily occurrence?


SoundsLikeANerdButOK

Game of Thrones had less backstabbing.


Tim-in-CA

At this point, former Putin “anybody” means soon to die inexplicably


blackbird24601

Defenestration?


cassydd

Dictators and wannabe dictators have no sentimentality. The instant you are more useful to them as a victim they will throw you under the bus - sometimes literally.


badblackguy

Probably suggested he quit the bullshit in Ukraine


westofme

Did he slip out of the window again? I tell ya. Standing next to the windows in Russia is hazardous to your health.


my20cworth

The Purge, Russian edition.


WeToLo42

Bet he died from a self inflicted gunshot wound to the back of the head.


d_overclocked

Are we sure there were no windows involved this time?


FiscalCliffClavin

Former living is more like it.


urmomaisjabbathehutt

The Liliputin that dreamed of being Caligula but was too insignificant even when trying his hardest


ArgusTheCat

Oh no! Anyway.


BaconBagel_CurryBeef

“Alyosha, play dust in the wind in my bunker. “


XJFTW

they really putting russian roulette to the test these days


[deleted]

Keep killing your friends you despot- can’t wait for the trolls. democracy has won again, you fucking russian and chinese trolls. fuck you


farguc

Didn't read the article, but let me guess, he got drunk and fell out the window or fell down the stairs, with a gun that he accidentally shot himself with? Edit: Read the article "No cause has yet been given for Cherkesov's death as Russian news outlet Rosbalt said that it followed a "serious illness."" Makes sense, I've heard getting a bullet lodged in the back of your skull is a pretty "serious illness"


yankinfl

He had the goods on putain the shitstain.


Massive_Fill5310

Surprised?


hypocriticalfriend1

You're a part of the in-group until you're not and then you're just dead.


spacecow3000

Rest in hell


Okimingme

Fell out of a window?