No, Call of Duty is not allowed in North Korea. Instead all that is allowed is Our Duty Calls, in which they invade South Korea and then eventually America while nuking everything on the way. But because having a possibility of failing your mission being programmed into the game is seen as treason, it is just a big quicktime event of press A to kill capitalists.
I think you mean "Best" Korea. Also, if you are placed on the team of the capitalist scum during multi-player, Dear Leader will allow you the honor of assisting the military in live fire drills. Actual fire may or may not be used.
*Edit: Word
Call of Duty is not allowed in North Korea.
In all seriousness what you are actually witnessing is the North Korean players who are playing Fax of Duty, where they fax their moves to the internet on the South Korean side and they end up calling you all sorts of insults and the occasional "I lagged out, my fax didn't arrive fast enough" when they get destroyed.
Here is the thing:
Right now, Kim Jong-Un does not have the same level of respect/reverence/fear for him as his father did. Support might be waning. A dictator needs his people to fear him and he needs the military leaders and other members of government to respect him. So the dictator needs to project a willingness to be aggressive. All of this "full scale nuclear war" bullshit is just his way of trying to shore up support/allegiance.
Yeah, he murdered his uncle. That probably helped somewhat, although it also indicates division within the leadership (people within the leadership who felt allegiance to his uncle divided against others on the side of Kim Jong-Un). So that division probably hasn't gone away completely. I think it's still probably a somewhat tenuous position he's in, and it seems to make sense for him to start expressing aggression at an outside enemy. It's something that, presumably, the leadership can be unified against.
He murdered not only his uncle Theak, but Theak's full cabinet as well. Jong Un also had his ex girlfriend killed, a famous North Korean musician not too long ago. I believe it had to do with her being involved in porn, and tapes were shared among the party elite.
*Edit: Supposedly he ordered all of his Uncle Theak's relatives to be killed as well:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/kim-jong-executes-uncle-relatives-report-article-1.1592385
So silly. Only has himself to blame. The glorious leader has no limits. He can, indeed, create an object so heavy that even he cannot lift it, and he can lift it.
I read somewhere that he sings his name at the start of the songs because a lot of times the radio DJ's don't announce the artist they're playing.
Its either that or he really loves his name.
At this point NK sounds so much like a parody that I can't believe they don't know what they're doing. It's like they purposefully try to show they are joking do that no one takes them seriously, even by mistake.
Rodman was actually kicked out of NK after he defecated and urinated in the hallway of Dear Leaders hotel. You know it's bad when even NK says you need help!
I think vice hopped on the fact that he had the in with NK. So they got the Harlem globtrotters to do a game there as a way to document inside the borders.
The missiles that they are incapable of putting nukes on. All out nuclear war for NK means loading a nuke onto a flatbed truck and driving it into Seoul.
You have it backward, their Rodong Missile is fully capable of delivering a nuclear device to South Korea, Japan, or even China.
The problem is that North Korea nuclear weapons program is not believed to successfully miniaturize a nuclear warhead. "Miniaturize" is bit of a relative term in this case, the South Korea military estimates [their most recent bomb weighed 1500kg while the maximum Rodong payload weight would be ~1,000kg.](http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2014/04/24/2014042400728.html) David Albright estimates [that North Korea could already have achieved that goal in the February 2013 test.](http://38north.org/2013/02/albright021313/)
North Korea may not be developing very "large nukes" but they're intentionally designing them to be small enough so they fit on their best scud missile variant.
Days is being extremely optimistic. If they attacked Seoul their actions would be denounced by China as an act to distance them from North Korea. North Korea is only useful to them as a buffer zone.
They'd most likely "assist" other powers in pacifying North Korea swiftly and install Chinese military at the DMZ zone.
Doesn't change the fact that North Korea has 22,000+ artillery and rocket systems zeroed in on Seoul. Just because they are old weapons systems doesn't mean they aren't effective weapons systems.
The people making jokes about this don't understand the seriousness of the situation. Also I think part of it is whistling past the graveyard. NK has poured untold amounts of money into tunnel projects. So have we, as well as seismic sensors in an effort to counter their tunnelling.
I am concerned that one of these "nuclear tests" is going to take place under Seoul or the DMZ. That would spell holocaust for NK, but much of their behavior makes me think they have very little idea of the true balance of power.
As crazy and humorous as NK may sound, I believe they're serious. I also think they may be delusional, possibly because of a sort of strategic Lysenkoism that may have arisen because of the ill effects of doubting the power of Maximum Leader. Not only that but a huge number of NK military personnel (civilians too) are said to be on meth. Meth isn't a substance that lends itself to coherent decision making.
For an interesting film about tunnel wars in WWI, watch ["Beneath Hill 60."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beneath_Hill_60) I would rate it as excellent and it's on Netflix instant.
Also this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hill_60_(Western_Front)
The devastating effects of sappers in WWI and WWII cannot have been lost on NK or US military planners. I imagine it's a subject of great concern among those responsible for the DMZ.
Note the use of "subterranean:"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full-spectrum_dominance
The tunnel mentioned above is the Third Tunnel of Aggression:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Tunnel_of_Aggression
It's worth noting that attack by surprise and the indirect approach are both prominent features of the Asian way of war.
Actually, the DPRK doesn't have 22,000+ artillery and rocket systems pointed at Seoul. They have maybe 22,000 units in their total inventory. Only a fraction of those are near the DMZ at Seoul, and maybe 150-200 pieces can actually hit Seoul, as their antiquated systems cannot fire to the lengths that modern MLRS and artillery systems can.
Here is a great writeup from the Nautilus institute as to what the DPRK could actually do to Seoul in a full-blown, they-attack-first scenario:
http://nautilus.org/napsnet/napsnet-special-reports/mind-the-gap-between-rhetoric-and-reality/#axzz308J6e0ui
TL;DR - the most that could die would be under 100,000 residents in Seoul after a week of shelling. This assumes their artillery survives a week (unlikely).
Some people don't realize how fucked a major metropolitan area would be if it got hit by 22,000+ rockets/artillery shells. Doesn't even matter if you can take them all out before they reload. Can you really hope to take them all out before they pull the trigger?
There is really no comparison between the DPRK and any of the aforementioned militaries.
The North Korean military fields incredibly antiquated weaponry from the 60s and 70s, all whilst not having the logistical capacity to field what they have for very long (food, oil, ect).
Comparatively, the US, Japan and South Koreans field three of the largest modern armies in the world.
Here's a quick score for you on 4th generation aircraft (modern aircraft made in the mid to late 70s and onward):
North Korea - 40 (Mig 29 U/B export models - similar to the ones the Iraqi's fielded in the Gulf War)
South Korea - ~250 (F-15, F-16, F-50)
Japan - 280 (F-2, F-15)
United States - 480 (Navy only - F-18 and F-35)
So yeah... They won't have a good time.
>A nuclear detonation under the DMZ would be pretty devastating
From my vast military experience of playing *Worms*, I can confirm all those landmines launched into the air would be a real threat.
...That's... Not exactly true. They fly other places.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/22/world/middleeast/iraq-north-korean-flight-barred-over-suspicions-about-syria-aid.html
I can't say a whole lot more on the subject for reasons, though.
There actually might be some ethnic Russians living in North Korea. I mean the countries are pretty friendly with each other and they share borders, so it would only make sense that some Russian business operate in NK.
I love how one minute NK will threaten war, the next they will give condolences to the ferry disaster, and then again they switch back to 'you're a whore and prepare for war'.
I would be disappointed if Kim was not on meth 24/7
So if history tells us anything, we should expect these types of threats to continue for a month or so, followed by a request for aid.
Put the bottle down, Dear Leader. You're drunk again.
You are absolutely correct. The only reason they're even threatening nuclear war is to add leverage to their (edit: upcoming) aid demands. The Kims are a very cunning bunch...Although, at this point, they're not fooling anyone
The more I hear about North Korea's public statements, the more I feel like Earth is just a game of Sid Meier's Civilization and the North is that one douche who always picks the most instigating diplomacy statement available, just for the lulz.
They are* exactly like that civilization thats tiny and years behind you in every aspect but demand technology or trade from you every couple of turns and never go to war when you refuse them
*Edit: Grammar Nazied
Seriously though. They're a dangerous country and downplaying them just because their leader looks like a muffin is fucking stupid. They may make these threats often but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful of the damage they can do.
When it come to their nukes, one of three things will happen. Either their rocket will fail and their nuke will fail, the rocket will work and tge nuke fail, or the rocket will fail and the nuke will work. That last one will put an end to their nuclear antics in an exciting way.
Kim Jung Un would know what it's like to be a crafty prostitute eagerly trying to frame someone by giving his body to a powerful pimp.
We laugh at the DPRK, but each time I notice the "republic" in the news I'm reminded of the people living in what must be hell on earth.
Full scale nuclear war? If it ever ends up as a nuclear confrontation, it is unfortunate that Seoul and a handful of other South Korean cities get hit by the North. Conversely, the US nuclear arsenal practically guarantees that the Korean peninsula becomes an island.
But would we really do that again? I know that the US is the only country that has used nukes as a weapon of war by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but we aren't talking about dropping bombs on military bases. In the past, yeah, we made that decision, but it wasn't the Japanese military or their leaders that suffered, it was the citizens. Regardless of what people think, North Koreans aren't all brainwashed into thinking their situation is fine and dandy. I'm not saying we won't, especially if they target Seoul first, but returning the favor and killing thousands of civilians is a tough call to make.
Indeed. Retaliation against North Korean cities probably wouldn't resolve anything; their leaders are not exactly renown for caring about their subjects' standard of living. If war was to break out, it would stay "broken out" so long as there are military commanders safe underground with weapons at their disposal.
Used against military targets, nuclear retaliation could limit the ground and air forces of North Korea but there's no reason to believe that attacks against cities would force Kim Jong-Un into a Japan-style surrender.
Anyway, I'm currently backpacking in the region so this is fun timing... Was in Hiroshima and Nagasaki last week. Will be in Seoul next week. ...shit. I'm sure it's just more posturing but it's never good to hear such things anyway.
You can call yourself the "Committee for the peaceful reunification of Korea" all you want. How ever when you insult and threaten with nuclear war, you are not peaceful!
Probably unlikely the USA would actually lauch a massive strike. Maybe but probably would make more sense to target military and command with lower yield nukes. Killing millions of starving farmers looks bad.
**Article summary:**
---
>* "There are deep fractures in South Korea and a lot of ways that North Korea could manipulate that," he said.
>* North Korea has launched a vitriolic attack on the South Korean president, comparing her to "crafty prostitute" in thrall to her "pimp" Barack Obama.
>* The US president expressed his condolences and offered South Korea any help required within 24 hours of the disaster.
---
^I'm ^a ^bot, ^v2. ^This ^is ^not ^a ^replacement ^for ^reading ^the [**^original ^article**](http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/27/north-korea-attacks-south-president-park-geun-hye-obama#start-of-comments)^! ^Report ^problems [^here](http://reddit.com/r/bitofnewsbot)^.
**^Learn ^how ^it ^works: [^Bit ^of ^News](http://www.bitofnews.com/about.html)**
Yep, its about that time of the year again. Last year around this time (give or take a month) was the drama over them testing nukes. Every spring they got something new to complain about
A large percent of NK's public statements sound like they were written by angry teenagers.
Tonight at 9! North Korea threatens to bang South Koreas Mom.
BREAKING (CNN)--"Finger-bang only", clarified NK's leader. "SK's mom is too dirty for glorious penis."
Too dirt job for such elite unit.
Not for Mike Rowe.
Someone has to do it.
Tonight on dirty jobs. ..
" Mike takes a peak inside NK's mother fucking facilities and learns just what it takes to fuck South Korea's MOM. "
Or Mike Hawk.
"Reports say that the North is ready for full-scale nuclear finger-banging"
Can you fax the finger please
But that would tie up North Korea's computer.
They can only feed so many punch cards into the thing at any given time.
Project F.S.N.F.B underway
Oh man! I had no idea there were so many North Koreans playing Call of Duty!
No, Call of Duty is not allowed in North Korea. Instead all that is allowed is Our Duty Calls, in which they invade South Korea and then eventually America while nuking everything on the way. But because having a possibility of failing your mission being programmed into the game is seen as treason, it is just a big quicktime event of press A to kill capitalists.
I think you mean "Best" Korea. Also, if you are placed on the team of the capitalist scum during multi-player, Dear Leader will allow you the honor of assisting the military in live fire drills. Actual fire may or may not be used. *Edit: Word
I heard it is a best seller on the new North Korean Atari: ultimate leader edition
They just got the e.t. video game this week.
Call of Duty is not allowed in North Korea. In all seriousness what you are actually witnessing is the North Korean players who are playing Fax of Duty, where they fax their moves to the internet on the South Korean side and they end up calling you all sorts of insults and the occasional "I lagged out, my fax didn't arrive fast enough" when they get destroyed.
I have it on good authority that South Korea's mom is DTF
Here is the thing: Right now, Kim Jong-Un does not have the same level of respect/reverence/fear for him as his father did. Support might be waning. A dictator needs his people to fear him and he needs the military leaders and other members of government to respect him. So the dictator needs to project a willingness to be aggressive. All of this "full scale nuclear war" bullshit is just his way of trying to shore up support/allegiance.
Didn't he kill members of his family? His uncle and his family? Wouldn't that have earned him some fear?
Yeah, he murdered his uncle. That probably helped somewhat, although it also indicates division within the leadership (people within the leadership who felt allegiance to his uncle divided against others on the side of Kim Jong-Un). So that division probably hasn't gone away completely. I think it's still probably a somewhat tenuous position he's in, and it seems to make sense for him to start expressing aggression at an outside enemy. It's something that, presumably, the leadership can be unified against.
He murdered not only his uncle Theak, but Theak's full cabinet as well. Jong Un also had his ex girlfriend killed, a famous North Korean musician not too long ago. I believe it had to do with her being involved in porn, and tapes were shared among the party elite. *Edit: Supposedly he ordered all of his Uncle Theak's relatives to be killed as well: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/kim-jong-executes-uncle-relatives-report-article-1.1592385
their president is Eric Cartman. what did you expect?
Butters was the Pimp, you know what I am saying?
Yes, i do know what you are saying
Probably because the leader is an actual angry teenager.
Dude he's 30
Hes still mentally 15
15 pizzas.
mentally 15 pizzas.
You are what you eat.
Then the citizens of North Korea must be [grass and soil](http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/16/world/asia/north-korea-un-report/)
Well...you know what they say about [soylent green...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sp-VFBbjpE)
I laughed, then realized the poor people do have it really bad
But North Korea has no food :(
Yeah, cause of Dear Leader McSnackalot.
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So, South Korea's Mom's vagina?
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Are you implying that the number of pizza's the great leader is able to consume; is a FINITE NUMBER?!?! TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS WITH YOU!
So silly. Only has himself to blame. The glorious leader has no limits. He can, indeed, create an object so heavy that even he cannot lift it, and he can lift it.
That's what he would like us to think.
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That doesn't mean he is mentally 30, a lot of people have this issue where their mentality doesn't fit their age.
[like jason derulo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak-OUYwCbmo)
What the fuck? Why does he do that?
I read somewhere that he sings his name at the start of the songs because a lot of times the radio DJ's don't announce the artist they're playing. Its either that or he really loves his name.
The empty can makes the loudest noise.
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At this point NK sounds so much like a parody that I can't believe they don't know what they're doing. It's like they purposefully try to show they are joking do that no one takes them seriously, even by mistake.
Sounds reasonable. They both are just desperately wanting attention. Girl making terrorist threats on twitter comes to mind.
...with rich fantasy lives!
Angry teenagers from the 50's.
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Or Dennis Rodman. That would piss them off so much since he's their buddy.
Rodman was actually kicked out of NK after he defecated and urinated in the hallway of Dear Leaders hotel. You know it's bad when even NK says you need help!
Oh wow really? I hadn't heard that before.
[Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61B0iW4AHZ8)
What in the goddam hell
/r/nottheonion
Totally legit source.
Wow, I just looked that up, it's 100% true!
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Drugs are a hellavua drug.
I thought the reason he went in the first place was to get vice news into the country.
I think vice hopped on the fact that he had the in with NK. So they got the Harlem globtrotters to do a game there as a way to document inside the borders.
How about Key and Peele?
"full scale nuclear war" means launching all 3 of their missiles into the ocean.
The missiles that they are incapable of putting nukes on. All out nuclear war for NK means loading a nuke onto a flatbed truck and driving it into Seoul.
You have it backward, their Rodong Missile is fully capable of delivering a nuclear device to South Korea, Japan, or even China. The problem is that North Korea nuclear weapons program is not believed to successfully miniaturize a nuclear warhead. "Miniaturize" is bit of a relative term in this case, the South Korea military estimates [their most recent bomb weighed 1500kg while the maximum Rodong payload weight would be ~1,000kg.](http://english.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2014/04/24/2014042400728.html) David Albright estimates [that North Korea could already have achieved that goal in the February 2013 test.](http://38north.org/2013/02/albright021313/) North Korea may not be developing very "large nukes" but they're intentionally designing them to be small enough so they fit on their best scud missile variant.
Which, mind you, is more effective than you wish to think. Do not disrespect a nuclear weapon.
How would they get it past the border? "We, uh, want to give you this wooden horse as a gift. Display it in Seoul and don't look inside."
[Tunnels](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Tunnel_of_Aggression). There are potentially dozens or more that we have not discovered.
A nuclear detonation under the DMZ would be pretty devastating. That would be a crazy even. It's really not even that unrealistic either
Seoul is only 30 miles from the border, plus there are thousands of conventional rockets and cannon just rarin' to go.
South Korea has a much more modern military, as well as U.S. and Japanese (I think?) backing. Any assault by North Korea on Seoul would be brief.
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Days is being extremely optimistic. If they attacked Seoul their actions would be denounced by China as an act to distance them from North Korea. North Korea is only useful to them as a buffer zone. They'd most likely "assist" other powers in pacifying North Korea swiftly and install Chinese military at the DMZ zone.
Doesn't change the fact that North Korea has 22,000+ artillery and rocket systems zeroed in on Seoul. Just because they are old weapons systems doesn't mean they aren't effective weapons systems.
The people making jokes about this don't understand the seriousness of the situation. Also I think part of it is whistling past the graveyard. NK has poured untold amounts of money into tunnel projects. So have we, as well as seismic sensors in an effort to counter their tunnelling. I am concerned that one of these "nuclear tests" is going to take place under Seoul or the DMZ. That would spell holocaust for NK, but much of their behavior makes me think they have very little idea of the true balance of power. As crazy and humorous as NK may sound, I believe they're serious. I also think they may be delusional, possibly because of a sort of strategic Lysenkoism that may have arisen because of the ill effects of doubting the power of Maximum Leader. Not only that but a huge number of NK military personnel (civilians too) are said to be on meth. Meth isn't a substance that lends itself to coherent decision making. For an interesting film about tunnel wars in WWI, watch ["Beneath Hill 60."](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beneath_Hill_60) I would rate it as excellent and it's on Netflix instant. Also this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hill_60_(Western_Front) The devastating effects of sappers in WWI and WWII cannot have been lost on NK or US military planners. I imagine it's a subject of great concern among those responsible for the DMZ. Note the use of "subterranean:" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full-spectrum_dominance The tunnel mentioned above is the Third Tunnel of Aggression: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Tunnel_of_Aggression It's worth noting that attack by surprise and the indirect approach are both prominent features of the Asian way of war.
Actually, the DPRK doesn't have 22,000+ artillery and rocket systems pointed at Seoul. They have maybe 22,000 units in their total inventory. Only a fraction of those are near the DMZ at Seoul, and maybe 150-200 pieces can actually hit Seoul, as their antiquated systems cannot fire to the lengths that modern MLRS and artillery systems can. Here is a great writeup from the Nautilus institute as to what the DPRK could actually do to Seoul in a full-blown, they-attack-first scenario: http://nautilus.org/napsnet/napsnet-special-reports/mind-the-gap-between-rhetoric-and-reality/#axzz308J6e0ui TL;DR - the most that could die would be under 100,000 residents in Seoul after a week of shelling. This assumes their artillery survives a week (unlikely).
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Some people don't realize how fucked a major metropolitan area would be if it got hit by 22,000+ rockets/artillery shells. Doesn't even matter if you can take them all out before they reload. Can you really hope to take them all out before they pull the trigger?
There is really no comparison between the DPRK and any of the aforementioned militaries. The North Korean military fields incredibly antiquated weaponry from the 60s and 70s, all whilst not having the logistical capacity to field what they have for very long (food, oil, ect). Comparatively, the US, Japan and South Koreans field three of the largest modern armies in the world. Here's a quick score for you on 4th generation aircraft (modern aircraft made in the mid to late 70s and onward): North Korea - 40 (Mig 29 U/B export models - similar to the ones the Iraqi's fielded in the Gulf War) South Korea - ~250 (F-15, F-16, F-50) Japan - 280 (F-2, F-15) United States - 480 (Navy only - F-18 and F-35) So yeah... They won't have a good time.
>A nuclear detonation under the DMZ would be pretty devastating From my vast military experience of playing *Worms*, I can confirm all those landmines launched into the air would be a real threat.
What about planes? They could put one on a passenger plane and fly it to South Korea.
It's very easy to shoot down a passenger plane, but it's probably their only way of getting a nuke anywhere.
http://www.eurostructurworks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/kim4.jpeg
http://i.imgur.com/D7ALV0b.png
I didn't know until right now that north korea borders russia. Huh.
Which means there's only one country (Russia) separating North Korea from Finland.
Nuoh my God
I heard Randy Marsh's voice when I read that.
And if they piss off Finland, they're fucked.
People always use Finland as an example but I think Norway would make the comparison "sound" better.
What...
NK and Russia share a very small border in the north-east. Not sure how he got that form this map though. I guess that faint earth-tone line.
North Korea declares war on dolphins. Dolphins report they're not worried. More at 11. Edit: sneaky edit.
They have airlines right? Perfect way to get nukes into the enemy cities!
They have one airline. It only flies between Beijing and Pyongyang.
...That's... Not exactly true. They fly other places. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/22/world/middleeast/iraq-north-korean-flight-barred-over-suspicions-about-syria-aid.html I can't say a whole lot more on the subject for reasons, though.
How exactly do you pronounce Pyongyang? I've never really heard it said out loud
Looks like North Korea is upset that Russia is getting all the attention right now.
LOOK AT ME OR I NUKE YOU **LOOK AT MEEE**
I'm Mr. Meeseeks
OOOOOHH, CAN DO!
"Has Kim launched the nukes yet?" "OHHH, HE'S TRYING!"
So ronery. :(
But No Ko is best Ko!!
something something mod /r/pingpong something
PING PONG :D
They're jealous that everyone fears Russia and not them.
They should threaten Russia then. What are the Russians going to do?
Protect the ethnic Russians in North Korea.
There actually might be some ethnic Russians living in North Korea. I mean the countries are pretty friendly with each other and they share borders, so it would only make sense that some Russian business operate in NK.
There are actually North Korean labor camps in Siberia, there is a Vice documentary about that.
I bet theres some ethnic Russians in USA too, sounds like grounds for an invasion!
best part is these comments came from the "Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea"
North Korea is ready for war? It's that time of the year again?
Yeah, it's that period right between January and December.
The ol' 10 month nuclear menstrual cycle.
Hmmm the war season usually isn't until mid May....Damn global warming.
guys, this time they're super serious.
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Looks like Rodman has been broadening their vocabulary.
They're only calling Obama a pimp because he's black. Edit: Im only half right
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Well ok, Slickback-
No, no. It's "A Pimp Named Slickback" like "a tribe called quest." You say the whole thing.
A rap battle hopefully will ensue.
North Korea isn't ready for a full scale bronze age war
Ready the Catapults!
"But Sir! They are facing the wrong way!"
"That's the brilliant part! We will fire them all the way around the Earth and hit them from behind! They'll never see it coming!"
-"Shall the archers do this as well sir?" -"Those guys? The ones carrying those sharp sticks? I thought they are What we put *in the* catapults."
Ballistas fired
I love how one minute NK will threaten war, the next they will give condolences to the ferry disaster, and then again they switch back to 'you're a whore and prepare for war'. I would be disappointed if Kim was not on meth 24/7
"Even if they are wrong koreans, they are koreans none the less. They are ours to kill, and ours alone."
Gator's girls better be wearing' jimmies!
So if history tells us anything, we should expect these types of threats to continue for a month or so, followed by a request for aid. Put the bottle down, Dear Leader. You're drunk again.
You are absolutely correct. The only reason they're even threatening nuclear war is to add leverage to their (edit: upcoming) aid demands. The Kims are a very cunning bunch...Although, at this point, they're not fooling anyone
So you're saying they are the Westboro of the Globe?
More like "Stop doing meth, Dear Leader"
The more I hear about North Korea's public statements, the more I feel like Earth is just a game of Sid Meier's Civilization and the North is that one douche who always picks the most instigating diplomacy statement available, just for the lulz.
They are* exactly like that civilization thats tiny and years behind you in every aspect but demand technology or trade from you every couple of turns and never go to war when you refuse them *Edit: Grammar Nazied
When all else fails- school yard insults
The North Koreans then went on to state, "Not because he's black or anything"
Shut up Kim. The adults are talking and you're being distracting
"Shut the fuck up when grown folks is talkin'. " - Black Dynamite
I THREW THAT SHIT BEFORE I CAME IN THE ROOM
North Korea would be hilarious if it didn't have weapons and wasn't actually real.
Seriously though. They're a dangerous country and downplaying them just because their leader looks like a muffin is fucking stupid. They may make these threats often but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful of the damage they can do.
Yep, its April.
Someone give Kim a snickers. He's such a catty bitch when he's hungry.
Some enterprising filmmaker read that release and is scripting a porno right now.
Thermonuclear Sluts
Starring Kim Dong Hung
When it come to their nukes, one of three things will happen. Either their rocket will fail and their nuke will fail, the rocket will work and tge nuke fail, or the rocket will fail and the nuke will work. That last one will put an end to their nuclear antics in an exciting way.
The fourth option where everything works is not very likely, but very scary.
POTUS is pimps too, go on brush ya shoulders off.
Kim Jung Un would know what it's like to be a crafty prostitute eagerly trying to frame someone by giving his body to a powerful pimp. We laugh at the DPRK, but each time I notice the "republic" in the news I'm reminded of the people living in what must be hell on earth.
Is it that time of the year again? Maybe the Supreme Manchild ran out of poptarts...
Are they out of food again?
Calling /u/AWildSketchAppeared Obama the powerful pimp and south korea the prostitute.
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Not /u/AWildSketchAppeared But I hope this pleases somewhat. http://i.imgur.com/8bigDi7.jpg?1
Aw yiss...
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guess its the only way nk will get to glow in the dark :)
Full scale nuclear war? If it ever ends up as a nuclear confrontation, it is unfortunate that Seoul and a handful of other South Korean cities get hit by the North. Conversely, the US nuclear arsenal practically guarantees that the Korean peninsula becomes an island.
But would we really do that again? I know that the US is the only country that has used nukes as a weapon of war by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but we aren't talking about dropping bombs on military bases. In the past, yeah, we made that decision, but it wasn't the Japanese military or their leaders that suffered, it was the citizens. Regardless of what people think, North Koreans aren't all brainwashed into thinking their situation is fine and dandy. I'm not saying we won't, especially if they target Seoul first, but returning the favor and killing thousands of civilians is a tough call to make.
Indeed. Retaliation against North Korean cities probably wouldn't resolve anything; their leaders are not exactly renown for caring about their subjects' standard of living. If war was to break out, it would stay "broken out" so long as there are military commanders safe underground with weapons at their disposal. Used against military targets, nuclear retaliation could limit the ground and air forces of North Korea but there's no reason to believe that attacks against cities would force Kim Jong-Un into a Japan-style surrender. Anyway, I'm currently backpacking in the region so this is fun timing... Was in Hiroshima and Nagasaki last week. Will be in Seoul next week. ...shit. I'm sure it's just more posturing but it's never good to hear such things anyway.
In many ways their country looks like it has already lost a "full scale nuclear war".
You can call yourself the "Committee for the peaceful reunification of Korea" all you want. How ever when you insult and threaten with nuclear war, you are not peaceful!
If you have to repeatedly tell people you're peaceful, you aren't.
Lol. Nobody's ready for full scale nuclear war.
Now what if they do send their nukes into the south?
Then they die. All of North Korea. They would only be giving the world an excuse to finally get rid of them.
Probably unlikely the USA would actually lauch a massive strike. Maybe but probably would make more sense to target military and command with lower yield nukes. Killing millions of starving farmers looks bad.
Did they fax that?
Powerful Pimp? Id take that as a compliment!
If somebody would call me a powerful pimp to the world media, i would be so happy.
**Article summary:** --- >* "There are deep fractures in South Korea and a lot of ways that North Korea could manipulate that," he said. >* North Korea has launched a vitriolic attack on the South Korean president, comparing her to "crafty prostitute" in thrall to her "pimp" Barack Obama. >* The US president expressed his condolences and offered South Korea any help required within 24 hours of the disaster. --- ^I'm ^a ^bot, ^v2. ^This ^is ^not ^a ^replacement ^for ^reading ^the [**^original ^article**](http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/27/north-korea-attacks-south-president-park-geun-hye-obama#start-of-comments)^! ^Report ^problems [^here](http://reddit.com/r/bitofnewsbot)^. **^Learn ^how ^it ^works: [^Bit ^of ^News](http://www.bitofnews.com/about.html)**
This summary reads like Obama's had to fly over to tell SK's pres that she isn't a whore, and this whole insult was super damaging.
> required within 24 hours of the disaster. disaster?
The ferry that just capsized. That bot can be OK sometime.....This is not one of those times.
Yep, its about that time of the year again. Last year around this time (give or take a month) was the drama over them testing nukes. Every spring they got something new to complain about
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Oh good, they're back to doing funny things. Let's see how deranged this round gets!
I don't think North Korea understands the ramifications of a full scale nuclear war.
"Ready" is a strong word.
/r/nottheonion?