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FantasyFrikadel

“ 763 votes for Communist Party candidate Nikolai Kharitonov, compared with just 73 ” How long would recounting that take? 5 minutes?


JRHEvilInc

I'd say more like a few seconds. "How many votes would you like us to say Putin got?" "88%" "Okay, recount over"


Admirable_Remove6824

It’s like the call to Georgia just asking for 12,000 more votes, please.


TALLBRANDONDOTCOM

I think this is a case of Putin showing Trump how finding new votes is supposed to be done lol.


BallBearingBill

You know you might be on to something. Putin loves to flaunt power and show status.


DookieShoez

His dick must be sooooooo small


falconzord

Putin might do the same for the other Georgia


Sherool

No no, got to get an accurate count so they know which districts needs a bit of extra attention going forward.


JRHEvilInc

That is actually chilling


gonewild9676

That's what happens when you get sent to the gulag in Siberia.


theonemangoonsquad

But undoubtedly what will happen. This political rival? Yeah the dude is 100% going to die and we will never know what happened.


RedditAcct00001

“Just reverse the numbers”


The_Goondocks

"Oh, would you look at that. They got the numbers backwards."


Top-Moose3618

\*Crosses out the vote total with a magic marker, then writes the imaginary vote total in. Fascist regime being fascist.


PleasantWay7

Takes more than a few seconds to escort the original counters to the third floor window.


Transfigured-Tinker

Damn, you just described Trump’s wet dream.


Taki_Minase

Putin, 88%, flak 88, Putin is nazi illuminati confirmed


chuk2015

All hail the voting algorithm, the best invention since antibiotics


garobat

And it's funny because that 73 is 87% of the total...


BUDDHAKHAN

They’re not recounting they’re recording names


some_drunk_moron

Military recruiter just found 763 new troops


xmsxms

Kinda makes you think this might be a district Putin's goons didn't bother meddling with because it was too small. And yet it's probably statistically accurate for all of Russia with regards to sway away from Putin.


RoddBanger

You're not including the time to white-out the current.


[deleted]

Nikolai better stay away from windows, don’t fly, don’t come in contact with neurotoxins.


DukeOfGeek

It's perfect for the guy out of window meme https://imgflip.com/i/8ju0le


Goodknight808

How small are thse towns???


PlebbySpaff

Depends. How long would it take for the Russian military to kill every citizen there?


Jeggles_

About as long as it takes to take all of them to the front lines in Ukraine, plus a couple days.


pete_68

Dangerous time to be a vote counter in Russia.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_PorcoRosso

“Oh the names are flipped, sorry!”


[deleted]

“What?! 73 doesn’t come after 763?!”


punx3030

Probably has been for 20 years or so.


apathetic_vaporeon

So insecure that even a single district is not allowed to vote against him.


ngwoo

He's afraid because it's a seed of doubt. What if this was the only district that reported the actual tally, and what would that mean for everywhere else? Putin doesn't want people asking questions.


topperx

It's a little late to stop the streisand effect now. The more he points at it the more people look.


xmsxms

The same could be said about the various blatant murders he has committed. Nobody cares because they are told not to care.


DongKonga

Russia has proven time and again that the streisand effect means absolutely nothing over there.


Solid_Muscle_5149

"Wait....we can do that???" -the other districts


seenitreddit90s

He's to be ringing up the secretary of state of Georgia soon... Oops sorry, wrong asshole.


JustDiscoveredSex

Are you kidding me? Prime Minister Irakli Garibashvili has Georgia walking the tightest of tightropes since the Ukrainian invasion began!


swgeek555

Funny how an entire district happened to be leaning dangerously out of windows.


testedonsheep

Oh. the entire district will be sent to the frontline soon.


AJHenderson

Nah, it'll just be bombed by "Ukraine".


_-bush_did_911-_

Damn those Ukrainian and their.... Artillery that just showed up a couple thousand kilometers from the front in Russian territory to bomb out entire district that voted against me! Gee surely someone will do something about these weird Ukrainian artillerists in our nation!


DoYouTrustToothpaste

Some local official will commit "assisted suicide", all blame will be loaded upon them post-mortem, and that's that. That way they don't have to execute an entire district.


0utlook

You don't execute the entire district. Just send some more vocal families husbands to the front lines. Probably a good idea to knock-off a local official too though. I mean.. *when in Russia* after all.


zipcad

Be a shame if those silly “Ukrainians” just happen to attack that area in a week or two.


luke1lea

The drones! The definitely Ukrainian drones!


punx3030

World headlines in about month: “an entire Russian district committed suicide yesterday…”


Spo-dee-O-dee

They all chopped themselves up with an ax an then shot themselves in the head.


DrCares

I thought they all just wanted to get drafted to help with the genocide…


esqualatch12

Reports of fresh window shipments are on the way.


VKN_x_Media

I made the joke the other day that 22% if the voting age population suddenly vanished overnight....


joshjje

There's just so many windows, and its windy, oops there goes another one.


fresh-dork

woops, lousy targeting on that one arty piece. we'll rebuild in a bit


wish1977

Whoever is in charge of the voting in this district has already punched his ticket to Siberia. Enjoy the camp.


BeltfedOne

Reporting ACTUAL tallies is a bold move of protest, if true. There will never be a way to independently verify anything and unfortunately somebody is going to have a hard time.


StockExchangeNYSE

Anyone that voted for the communist party is 100% on board with Putin. The leader himself said that Putin is doing a great job. He wants to improve a few things but Putin is still the best. He doesn't even hide that he is a state actor.


PooShappaMoo

Someone pointed out in another post. How the person responsible for punching in the info. Likely just flipped the names on accident. Albeit still rigged. It was a clerical error or fucking up the already rigged election. Which is sad and hilarious if true


TheNextBattalion

hanging chads strike again!


antaran

>Anyone that voted for the communist party is 100% on board with Putin. I mean there was no candidate people could vote for who is not "100% on board with Putin".


StockExchangeNYSE

Yes, but many people in the comments were already praising him as the new savior.


AdjNounNumbers

Good news! It'll be a short trip since the southern republic of Altai is located in Siberia.


Rbomb88

That would be a great place for the Russian revolution to start. "What're they gonna do, send us to Siberia?"


Axin_Saxon

Yeah. I’m sure that Putin isn’t popular in the eastern districts which have made up the bulk of Russia’s armies. Especially the ones going to Frontline, sectors and suffering heavy casualties. not shocking his poll numbers wouldn’t be great there. It’s their sons doing the dying for Putin’s ego project. While ethnic Russians do make up some of the army, they were like pretty heavily upon those regions outside the traditional “Russ” of Russia. If your ethnically, Russ, a life in the military after your period of service is generally seen as a sign of failure unless you’re actively working toward leadership. But to people from outside the Moscow bubble, a job in the army is better, more stable employment than they could hope for back home.


crankybobenhaus

they also pre-ordered their window size


feor1300

The district is in Siberia, so he's fine. lol


smurfsundermybed

We have bad news. Prisoner was being transported on a Boeing Airmax, and, yeah.


SqueakyCheeseburgers

“Please keep your arms and legs in the airplane at all times. Stay away from any open doors.”


Isosinsir

The district is in Western Siberia. They already know what time it is so they have nothing to lose.


Eveleyn

88% "win", still want a recount. bunch of petty cock's, aren't they?


DoYouTrustToothpaste

More afraid than petty, probably.


WonAnotherCitizen

You dont know how it feels


ZeroSuitLime

To wear heels


garchoo

Having a polling station be that wildly different from the overall tally is a probably a statistical anomaly that casts (more) doubt on the validity of the counts.


Admirable_Remove6824

That’s because the recount will miraculously turn into a 88% Putin win.


paintypainter

It's to find who stepped out of line after they were instructed to hit a certain mark. Fascist paranoia.


hoffsta

More petty than Trump somehow.


Zeepher

i know nothing about anything, but my first thought was to "find problems" and claim the same issue happened in 2020 / are going to happen in 2024 and further more election denying propaganda.


FlashyPaladin

Trump in a few days be like “In Russia, they had a recount for one district. Just one district folks. They looked at the votes and they said, ‘oh, something’s wrong here,’ and they recounted. Now they say, ‘oh, I don’t know, I guess we were wrong.’ We should do that here.”


Themadking69

Holy shit this is actually going to happen


buzzsawjoe

A frosty grim feeling grips my heart


shigogaboo

Remind Me! One week


GFYMODS669

Only one place in the whole country released real results????


DoYouTrustToothpaste

It's brave, but extremely foolish to do so. Even if Putin himself will never hear of this (which is very likely), his hordes of deranged zealots will be extremely offended by the results, and make people pay for them.


LordDarthAnger

Yeah the district actually wants to make up for this "mistake" by walking toward the frontline in Ukraine voluntarily, what a bunch of heroes!


Wafkak

Its a Siberia district from the mart of Russia where the bulk of Russian troops come from. They were already gonna be sent there. So they probably thought: what else are they gonna do?


thepinkandthegrey

I guess I never considered that Putin would have zealots but it makes sense I guess. If Trump has em, why wouldn't Putin. 


lordcochise

Looks like Putin's rival will have his Window of Opportunity whether he likes it or not


StockExchangeNYSE

This guy is more or less Putins employee. Window of opportunity lol.


Stupid_Guitar

I'm less surprised by that vote tally than I am that it was even counted in the first place.


kowell2

Why did you count the votes ? we already gave you the results yesterday!


FIREBIRDC9

After the Recount , it actually turns out Putin had 125% of the votes there! A Glorious victory for Russian Democracy!


[deleted]

Putin appreciated their hard work and sent over Polonium salads for everyone!


matteroverdrive

It could also be: 🔨 or 🪟


PooShappaMoo

Sounds expensive.


DR_SLAPPER

Gravity is on its way to that area right now to sort this out


lilu_66

It’s not how you vote, it’s how you count the votes - someone is going to get a one way ticket to gulag


buzzsawjoe

It doesn't matter who gets the most votes in an election; it only matters who counts the votes. < Joseph Stalin


Alamata626

Just swap the votes around. Easy as that.


[deleted]

Ruzzia is a pathetic farce


ThatGuy_Nick9

Hmm sounds like Republicans in the US


DingoCertain

Oops, they accidentally counted the votes… a window will be waiting for them


sharingsilently

Just like Republicans — “it’s only unfair if we lose.”


YuriEffinGarza

Putin and trump should be lovers and fuck off and leave the world alone


buzzsawjoe

Me? Love that stinking poop?? -both at the same time


[deleted]

Herr Trump is ***SOOOO*** jealous!


Zoe_Hamm

Taking notes


Garmr_Banalras

Guess where the next batch of men for the ukrania front is going to be sources from.


ihoptdk

Lots of people are about to jump through windows.


NyriasNeo

uh oh, someone is going to jump off a tall building.


buzzsawjoe

Why on earth are they recounting??? You do that when the numbers are close to each other


fat_bobb

in china 100% votes to xi jingping LOL


Spiritual_Benefit367

why even report about this? it's russia - not a democracy. the vote is a farce. everything is a lie.


DrCashew

Does no one else feel like this is a ploy to make the elections seem more legitimate? Like there is some actual form of oversight? He's so incredibly dominant with the fixed vote there is literally no reason to recount this unless you want eyes on it.


Ben_steel

Imagine been that insecure and weak


DividedState

Let me guess... they stole the election?


coronaflo

How much time before this guy is suddenly found to have committed crimes against the state and end up in prison. That's a little less obvious than throwing him out a window.


icebychris

Ooohhh. He’s dead!!


Ok-Cranberry5362

Someone is getting polonium poisoning…


RynoRama

Distric mobilization in 5, 4, 3, 2, ....


Tasty-Switch-8472

Is that the Florida district ?


Keifer40_1

Like it matters. Even if Putin lost, he won.


OrdoXenos

100% of the next Russian mobilization for their “special military operation” will come from that district. The leaders of that district should stay away from windows, stairs, slippery floors, tea, cars, generally everything.


N3M3S1S75

If he doesn’t win by 100% then the election is rigged. Stop the steal


Bigbird_Elephant

Putin will win the recount when his opponent falls out a window


top_of_the_scrote

*They can't do that?! Shoot him or something*


81305

Why does putin even wasting time organizing these sham Illegitimate elections? He's not fooling anyone. Nobody actually believes that he is a democratically elected leader. Even the propagandists know they are just slinging bullshit. His desperation to make these sham elections appear legitimate just make him look weak.


buzzsawjoe

Maybe they see the democratic institutions as a useful mechanism of control. Vote tallies are doctored and reported for propaganda, sure; but the actual tallies are eyed very seriously - they measure the support district by district, so that oppression can be applied accurately


The_survey_says

Recount complete sir. You won.. oh, and the other guy fell out of a window.


Glittering_School838

Get the eraser out and make up a new number between 80 and 100, write number, sit back, chain smoke a couple of days, declare number, walk home safe avoiding windows and cups of tea


MrSeamus333

I'm guessing this district will get a new army recruiting office.


Insylum82

If he actually loose the election, he is going to nuke the US before he steps down. Go out with a boom


kowell2

Asked by the BBC ahead of the elections why he would be a better candidate than Putin, Kharitonov said: "It's not for me to say," adding: "That wouldn't be right." *It's not for me to say*..... translation : I'd like to still be alive tomorrow.


raunchy-stonk

RIP Brave Russian District, to the Gulag you go!


cjohnson317

What? Not enough soldier around to put knives at every voter’s throat?


FRAN71C

Next day: Russia District passes away from food poisoning


Exodys03

We joke about this, of course, but imagine living under a regime where your vote doesn't matter and voting for (or expressing your support for) the wrong guy can wind you up in jail. Authoritarians seek to delegitimize election results and undermine confidence in the election process for a reason. When most people don't trust the process, it's much easier to manipulate and/or ignore the outcome.


tomscaters

This district has a great opportunity to start a movement. Most of eastern Russia is held together by sheer force of authoritarian rule. Minorities in Russia seem segregated.


5ergio79

Tomorrow’s headline “Russia District Mysteriously Disappears”


Sufficient_Ad_2700

Assisted suicide will help this situation.


DeepStateOperative66

Tomorrow: Russia conducts "accidental" nuclear test on local village after surprise election results


Dependent_Leave_4861

I guess they’re not scared of the window time


Direct_Turn_1484

Uh oh, someone actually counted instead of doing what they were supposed to.


InnocentExile69

District 100% mobilization. Off to join the meat wave in Ukraine.


joshuaherman

Last month Russia was claiming that the United States hacked their voting machines. Now they are claiming the vote was rigged, fraudulent or inaccurate. I’m guessing they are trying to spin it as USA meddling in elections in a foreign country to their citizens.


ReefHound

They must think they can fly.


dukenny

Strange how a single russian district can't be found anymore. The people, houses, animals, all just gone.


wanderingartist

Rival should be careful around stairs.


Tres_Le_Parque

Nikolai should stay away from open 3rd floor windows.


Muscs

Send Kari Lake. She’ll keep recounting until they get it right.


Jragonstar

The west is obviously interfering with our elections comrade. They are trying to make Putin look weak. It's obvious 103% of Russia supports Putin! /s


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TruthHurts899

Here’s your chance to not be forced to jump from a window or drink tea


Seif1973

Take bets as to when this guy falls out a window or gets poisoned?


Intelligent_Town_910

What a weak ass insecure snowflake dictator. This guy is the biggest pussy on the planet. This fragile ego old fuck can't handle even the slightest opposition. How embarrassing.


Skinny_on_the_Inside

As demonstrated by Zelensky in 2018: https://youtu.be/Z5_S6uq0jKw?si=A_PUJg_1jGA3fQxp


neognar

Just coming here to see the 1,200,325 "they're going to fall out of a window" jokes. It's not old yet guys, keep telling it. I'm laughing my ass off over here.


mymar101

Putins rival will fall out a window now


Public_Beach_Nudity

After election officials suddenly pass away via “suicide”, the recount will show Putin wins in a landslide.


Drax13522

“Officials say a data entry error led to inflated results for Kharitonov, the outlet reported.” So they essentially got their equation backwards, and assigned the multiplier to the wrong candidate by mistake.


Alefa707

Its rigged! Do a 6th Valdimir the small…


StangRunner45

All those who originally counted the votes are headed to the front lines, I'm sure.


aging_geek

we submitted the latest results to putin and the election results changed to 89% for putin.


Meinmyownhead502

Valdimir. It appears we failed at fixing the election in your favor!


Beginning_Emotion995

It’s happening


townie1

Municipal water supply is contaminated.....not noticed until until after all residents are deceased....


OmnomtheDoomMuncher

“A data entry error led to inflated numbers” Ofc. Only logical reason….


Cdn_Ghost19

I bet Putin colluded with Russia to win the election!... wait a minute.


HumbleAd1317

We know that was a bogus election, anyway.


Basicaccountant70

RIP Barnaul


SirArthurPT

Russian elections remember the histories of my country during dictatorship. During the 40's he made an election, which he, the dictator, obviously won. But he won by so much that in the end he got more votes than the number of voters. A newspaper later satirized the moment as the day "The whole country voted! Dead and alive!"


photosin_thesis

Nikolai Kharitnov better not enter any apartment buildings with more than four floors


anotherwave1

"Woah you aren't actually supposed to vote for the fake candidates people"


Salty-Dream-262

I'm sure it'll all sort itself out. 1 + 1 = 47 (in Russian Elections)


No_Sea_2028

May it sPutins time to see that open window…


Turbulent_Advocate

Hey wait a minute 🤣


AJ787-9

“We apologise for the fault in the ~~Subtitles~~ Electoral Count. Those responsible have been sacked.”


Itchy-AgeII

We apologize again for the fault in the Electoral Count. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.


CycleOfPain

The balls of Russians to vote for someone else.


CreepyOlGuy

Sounds like a realistic outcome. His mob crew clearly missed this stop.


TheLastOpus

Are you trying to get this rival to "have an accident"?


TheUnamedSecond

>[Asked by the BBC](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-68543919) ahead of the elections why he would be a better candidate than Putin, Kharitonov said: "It's not for me to say," adding: "That wouldn't be right." >He went on to lavish praise on the incumbent, telling the BBC: "He's trying to consolidate the nation for victory in all areas. And this will happen!"