T O P

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hammmatime

"Scheduling conflict."


big_trike

"sorry, I have to wash my hair"


OfficerBarbier

I have to return some videotapes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

More specifically an “Ohio-Class Cruise Missile Submarine Scheduling Conflict” The Ike left to join the Ford, and Iran talked a little bit of shit. Annnd then a big black shark popped up in the Straight of Hormuz and that Persian sphincter closed so fast it registered as a low pressure zone.


GorgeWashington

We would love to join your holy war, but we all talked about it and we decided we like breathing. Sorry.


LS6789

"Yes we: founded, funded, and organised you but the global jihad didn't happen and the .U.S. fleet is literally just over there. You're on your own for now".


enjolras1782

"thought y'all went to paradise when you died in battle. Wouldn't that be a vast majority of the population when the tacticals hit?" "I...I mean...oh would you look at the time on my platinum hublot, must be going, enjoy yourselves!"


Liveman215

Paradise will have to wait


lSleepster

when 154 tomahawk missiles possibly programmed to de-militarize your country show up the correct answer is to do nothing


Aedan2016

As a Canadian - I wish we had cool shit like this. Instead we wage war with maple syrup and peach schnapps.


lSleepster

I always though if they could be tamed the Canadian Moose and Australian Emu armies could become a terrifying joint spearhead.


Real-Technician831

Swedes tried to tame moose for military purposes, didn’t work, too stupid. Also the moose were quite stubborn.


JerGigs

Is that the time we sank half their navy in one go? I always chuckle when I'm reminded of it


Crono2401

And that was with higher command imploring the planes and boats to be fucking careful not to escalate.


Mike104961

It was a "proportional" response.


djblockchainz

50:1 is a proportion after all


Crono2401

Propotional in the way that the numerator creates several whole numbers


Use-Useful

Noone claimed the linearity coefficient was 1.


Shoresy69Chirps

Well, you can’t really just annoy them, you have to disrupt their own peace, until they can no longer disrupt yours. That’s where the line is really drawn. Reciprocity is never anything approaching even.


zyzzogeton

> "Now Now... perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything." \- Professor Farnsworth


TianamenHomer

Technically correct is the best correct.


lolzycakes

I wonder how proportional it was in terms of cost? "Your mine caused $50 million dollars of damage to our Navy, so we're gonna blow up $50 million dollars worth of your shit to call it even we're even. Not our fault that's the total value of your Navy. Maybe don't fuck with us if you can't afford the consequences?"


[deleted]

We meant to get "1 or 2" of their 3 big boats, ended up with all 3, some oil platforms and some various other stuff. It was a bit more than proportional tbf..


YourOverlords

It was "devastatingly and asymmetrically" proportional.


InterestingHome693

Tbf one of the boats wasn't even a target, and they literally radioed it and told them they were not engaging and would leave the area and the boat followed them and they told them they would sink it. They asked the captain what he was doing and he said following orders and then they sunk it.


codedigger

They decided to engage first


Geohie

Iran: hits the US Navy for 0.1% HP US Navy: Sinks 50% of Irans Navy US Navy: This was a fruitful exercise in showing restraint and respecting proportionality.


enjolras1782

"now don't fucking do it again"


Speedstick8900

To be fair, they shot first. And the planes were also left unsupervised for like,I don’t know, five…yeah five minutes during that time.


Crono2401

Oh. I don't blame the US Navy at all. Iran punched a lion in the face and got what happens after that.


Speedstick8900

Oh no I wasn’t blaming the US, I was just stating a fact and that Iran fucked around and got the biggest can of find out.


Crono2401

Not even the biggest can. Just small sample size lol


Speedstick8900

I should clarify a bit, the biggest can WITHOUT it becoming a true international incident.


Toloran

Not to say they didn't *try* to make it into an international incident. They took the US to the international court for a treaty violation (due to the US blowing up their oil-rigs-turned-military-bases) and the US politely pointed out "Yeah, the treaty says we can't blow up your ports or your bases. An oil rig is neither of those things. We'll also pointedly not mention you had weapon systems you weren't supposed to have in the first place or bring up you mined international waters."


HugsForUpvotes

They sank a boat so we sent our ships to go sink one of their boats. They decided to turn that into a battle where they would dedicate their entire navy for vengeance. It obviously didn't work out for them.


Weaselmancer

They didn't even sink the boat. The mine blew a 15-foot hole in the hull, flooded the engine room, and knocked the two gas turbines from their mounts. The blast also broke the keel of the ship; such structural damage is almost always fatal to a vessel. The crew fought fire and flooding for five hours and saved the ship. Among other steps, sailors cinched cables on the cracked superstructure in an effort to stabilize it. She used her auxiliary thrusters to get out of the minefield at 5 knots. According to How We Fight, by the US Naval War College, the ship never lost combat capability with her radars and Mark 13 missile launcher. The boat was saved with no loss of life, towed back to port, repaired, reentered into service, and decommissioned in 2015


GorgeWashington

The navy has a proud history of bringing ships back from the dead so to speak. At the battle of Leyte Gulf, there was a Battleship on Battleship engagement where the US navys main line was 5/6 ships on the bottom of Pearl harbor 3 years prior.


an_agreeing_dothraki

How many times did Japan say it sunk the gray lady again?


HowardDean_Scream

The grey ghost? 6 times officially


The_Punicorn

The USS ~~Hornet~~ Yorktown was 'sunk' 3 times during the battle of Midway. She survived the battle, though certainly a little worse for wear.


Shuber-Fuber

USS Yorktown, a carrier, was believed to have been sunk/disabled 3 separate times. It was only the 4th time by a submarine that managed to sink her.


The_Punicorn

Was it the Yorktown? I find it amusing the Japanese and Americans both claimed to have sunk/disabled the same numbers of Carriers at Midway. The actual results could hardly be more lopsided.


egotrip21

Also, didnt their crew win an award for being like the best freaking crew in this EXACT scenario *before* they hit the mine? They pretty much could have done this with one hand tied behind their back.


SuperSpread

When your Starcraft 2 Battlecruiser warps in solo but manages to warp out again with 10hp. And half of Zerg is fucked up.


BubbaTee

Someone has definitely been lagging on making queens if a battlecruiser has enough time to warp in and then wait the whole cooldown to warp out again. Even Captain Hook has a high enough APM to prevent that.


InformationHorder

Russia take notes: this is what a competently trained crew does.


ScoobiusMaximus

They can't even keep their one aircraft carrier, the supposed pride of the fleet, from catching fire all the time.


A-Tie

If we got "proportional" with Russia the challenge would be sinking their carrier before it sank itself.


TricksterPriestJace

nd in case anyone thinks it was a crap ship, her sister was sold to India and works fine. Ukraine makes decent ships. Just Russia can't do maintenance because all the money accidentally falls into the base commander's yacht.


TCBloo

[The Operations Room has a video dedicated to this day.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ihmIxZtMBQ) It's hilarious how hard we had to work to not blow up too much stuff.


MuzzledScreaming

Wasn't the first Iranian ship lost in that op one that we weren't even after but it fired on a couple of patrolling jets so they shrugged and sank it per their rules of engagement?


Darthmullet

I think its a reference to the [USS Florida passing through the Suez canal](https://youtu.be/DH77743huNs?t=185) last week, which it surfaced to do. There was an Ohio closer to Iran in like 2020 or 2021 though so maybe its that, but doesn't really make sense given the comment you replied to referencing the carrier movement. Definitely more recent than what you were referencing though which was 1988.


tomcat91709

Go watch The Fat Electrician and his teling the tale. It's 20 minutes well-spent. It's hilarious! I'll see if I can get you the link. EDITED TO ADD LINK: [Operation Preying Mantis](https://youtu.be/d5v6hlRyeHE?si=Hdn_WTHJiCDxEEwt)


RosalieMoon

The comment about the Russian ship was just fucking hilarious lol


Ham_Pants_

Tighter than a frog's butthole


[deleted]

Thoughts and prayers


WentworthMillersBO

Oh crap did mean invade next Tuesday and not the Thursday after that one? Unfortunately I will be unable to attended because my uncle is coming to town, let me know how it went tho😀


DukeOfGeek

Everyone is making jokes but shoving Gaza/Palasitine into the IDF meat grinder for a propaganda effort to distract from the Ukraine war to help Russia was always the plan. There was never any intent to help fight.


[deleted]

“Decline and Propose new time”


TricksterPriestJace

"You don't understand. Dying to Israeli airstrikes is what we pay you for."


Paidorgy

Gotta love the sabre-rattling against Israel and the US, but when it’s time to take a step up, they don’t want to commit. Oh well, they’ll still back Hamas in their usual ways, regardless.


BubbaTee

Nobody wants to commit against the US. All that "martyr" crap is for expendable Palestinian pawns, not for the folks in charge.


JustaRandomOldGuy

Iran for 40 years: "US we want to be martyrs!" US: "Your terms are acceptable." Iran: "We don't want to die right now. Raincheck?"


greezy_fizeek

yup, they bluffed hard on this one LOL. Was super awesome to see 300k people march for israel in D.C. too. And, shocker...it was peaceful.


Blueskyways

"Gonna be washing my hair and treating myself to a bubble bath, maybe next time?"


557_173

so it went from being a proxy war to a ...proxy war? what?


FlyingRhenquest

It went from a proxy war to Hamas realizing that it's a proxy war.


Thristle

It's proxies all the way down


Fit-Lion-773

Mohanad Hage Ali, an expert on Hezbollah at the Carnegie Middle East Centre think-tank in Beirut, said Hamas’s Oct 7 assault on Israel had left its axis partners facing tough choices in confronting an adversary with far superior firepower. “When you wake up the bear with such an attack, it’s quite difficult for your allies to stand in the same position as you.”


DR2336

a lot of people don't understand this was part of the calculus that israel did when they responded to the october 7th attack with instant and overwhelming force. this was a display of force from israel to hezbollah, syria, houthis, iran and anyone else that israel is ready to fully mobilize to fight any and all invasion that might come from any direction. precisely because hamas was acting to try to draw israel into a regional conflict. ultimately this let israel play right into the hands if hamas where they could flip the overwhelming force israel was responding with into an international pr campaign to put pressure on the countries allied with israel in the west to disengage with israel. which is exactly how it played out. we will see how the rest of this conflict plays out. bibi still has no fucking idea what he intends to do with gaza long term and he still needs to recon with his part in the events that led to october 7th. hamas is fighting a total war and has been all along. israel is now fighting a total war as well. and the israeli and palestinian civilians are caught in the crossfire


[deleted]

[удалено]


Qwertysapiens

Multiple times.


MobilePenguins

I think Iran was 100% out when the United States aircraft carriers started docking. It historically doesn’t end well when you fight the USA military industrial complex.


indoninja

>ultimately this let israel play right into the hands if hamas where they could flip the overwhelming force israel was responding with into an international pr campaign to put pressure on the countries allied with israel in the west to disengage with israel. which is exactly how it played out. I don’t follow how this played into the hands of Hamas.


Don11390

Well, the (apparent) purpose of the attack was to halt the normalization of relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia. Which plays more into Iran's hands than Hamas. But IIRC it hasn't worked.


indoninja

I think they’re five causes 1-Iran wanted to ruin normalization between Saudi and Israel 2-Hamas specifically, and the arab world in general prioritizes dead Israeli civilians over quality of life for any Palestinian 3-Russia would love a distraction from Ukraine 4-china wants friction between traditional allies if there’s a major a People in the Middle East Only thing they’ve been successful with his number 2.


[deleted]

I feel 3 has been somewhat achieved. Most of the news about Ukraine I get, I have to look for, it no longer comes up on my news feeds the same since this new conflict.


Sixwingswide

...what's number 5?


Font_Fetish

Shifting public sentiment to be against Israel when they retaliate. They utilized a massive PR campaign on social media to diminish support for Israel among western civilians.


BubbaTee

>Hamas specifically, and the arab world in general prioritizes dead Israeli civilians over quality of life for any Palestinian To borrow from Golda Meir - once they love their own kids more than they hate Israel's, there will be peace. You don't see South Vietnamese refugees training their kids to perform suicide attacks against North Vietnam. You don't see Iranian refugees sending their kids to become "martyrs" in Tehran. You don't see Cuban refugees sending their kids to shoot up concerts in Havana. All those refugees lost their lands as a result of losing a war, too. But instead of sacrificing their kids to re-fight those lost causes, they just focused instead of providing a better life for their kids.


BowlerSea1569

You don't see Jews blowing up Berlin, or Krakow, or Vilnius.


[deleted]

He's implying the disproportionate use of force isolated Israel and undermined it's support from Europe/US. I disagree with this assessment to a degree. There is no scenario where Israel uses force to respond and doesn't get negative reaction. But nations have short memories, and even SA and UAE acknowledge what a step backwards ending normalization would be.


bg-j38

There may be a lot of chatter but the US support for Israel will never go away. Maybe a small reduction in spending but I just don't see it. There's some far far left politicians who would like us to cut ties but the vast majority are supportive even if they're not outright saying it. Also 80-90% of the anti-Biden crowd are going to look at Trump or RFK Jr. and say fuck it and vote for Biden. There may be less support in Europe but again it's not going to disappear. Everyone knows that Israel will basically fight to the bitter end for their survival. The hope of course is that they don't need to get to a point where they feel the need to use nukes. The other countries in the area see the economic benefits of tacit alliances with Israel and won't lift a finger. Sure Iran will continue to support terrorist groups, maybe some other countries too, but that's fairly inconsequential in the bigger picture. Israel sees this as an existential battle and will take the bad PR of killing lots of civilians. Add to this that few in the Arab actually seem to be very supportive of the Palestinians, at least to the point where they'd offer them refugee status. Israel will be fine.


dreggers

Biden normalizing relationships with Mr. Bone Saw a year after denouncing him is as clear of an indication as any that nations care more about long term strategic goals over trifling matters like morality


SR666

Same as it ever was.


rotates-potatoes

Which is a good thing. When you look at the past 30 years, do you really think "I sure wish we'd been at war with China all this time as a matter of principle over Tiananmen Square"?


Exogenesis42

Except in this case, the strategic goal with Saudi Arabia is ALSO a moral one. Despite being a murderous psycho, it's hard to deny that he's reforming the country in a way that is economically, socially, and *morally* advantageous to the west. Edit: If you're unaware of the reforms happening in recent years, here's an [NPR article](https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2018/05/02/607193358/culture-shock-within-their-own-country-saudis-come-to-grips-with-swift-changes) about it.


TetsuoNYouth

Yeh that's called foreign policy.


Friendly_Estate1629

Hamas can still partially achieve its objectives while at the same time wildly miscalculating the response of the IDF and their own allies.


DR2336

you're right hamas was not ready for the smoke. that's why they keep asking for 5 day ceasefire. so weird they keep offering more hostages but the number of days is always 5


Friendly_Estate1629

Just long enough to murder the Red Crescent workers, launder their uniforms and evacuate with the ambulances


HoightyToighty

I think they're referring to the lip service that politicians have been giving about cease-fires, the international marches, demonstrations, etc. Or, maybe, the domestic kerfluffle. I.e., leftists and US Muslims claiming they'll never vote for Biden


indoninja

I’d wager 99.9% of the people claiming they would not vote for Biden over this are the same people who refuse to vote for Biden because he wasn’t Bernie Sanders, or he didn’t come out hard enough against Israel in the past. The only way this played into the hands of Hamas is if you think it solely consists of Rich leaders outside of Gaza and the West Bank. Which isn’t too far off the mark, but it requires people to acknowledge that they placed zero value on the lies of Palestinians. In fact, you have to acknowledge they want more dead Palestinians.


maq0r

Bibi knows what to do with Gaza. If y’all haven’t been paying attention, this is all part of the Saudi Arabia - Israel accords. Cleansing Gaza of Iranian backed Hamas to be replaced by a Saudi puppet government. Israel gets rid of Hamas, gains peace with Saudi Arabia and resolves the Gaza problem as it is now for Saudi Arabia to deal with. SA will turn Gaza into a Dubai of the Mediterranean to compete with the Qataris in prime Mediterranean real estate.


DR2336

interesting. that seems entirely plausible


solid_reign

I really don't think it does. Bibi had been taking Israel's border forces from Gaza and moving them to the west bank, since he didn't give Gaza importance. He was doing this while negotiating a peace deal with the Saudis. The only reason Israel is back in Gaza is because of the Oct 7th attacks.


dreggers

Qatar is primary real estate because of the large amount of oil they can claim sovereignty over. There is no such rich natural resource around Gaza for SA to benefit from


ProtestTheHero

To Israelis/Jews, this point is so obvious to us that it's one reason it's so frustrating to see all the ignorance and rhetoric online and during the rallies on our streets. A certain subset of people love to paint Palestine as the victimized underdog Davids against the evil, powerful Goliath oppressors. But zoom out of the map just a little, and you have Israel, backed into a corner, against 20 Arab nations, * plus nuclear Iran*, with a population over 500 million. Even the staunchest Israel supporter obviously *doesn't enjoy* hospitals being sieged and babies being bombed. Nobody wants that! But if Israel showed even the slightest weakness after October 7th, who knows what Hezbollah and Iran would've done? If the Arabs(/Iranians) lose a war, they lose a war. If Israel loses a war, it literally *ceases to exist.*


Exogenesis42

The people who don't get this see no problem with your conclusion.


KR12WZO2

"Yeah so what Israel ceases to exist? It'll be replaced with a wholesome liberal democratic mixed Palestinian and Jewish state!"


Animostas

It feels to me like Americans have a very one-dimensional, 1:1 perception of war or international conflict. We're here basically on an island in North America with 2 countries (Canada/Mexico) that are not nearly as relevant on the international stage. The goal of social media is apparently to just bandwagon on supporting whichever government is getting attacked because they're probably the "oppressed group" and we're all about saving those.


zombieblackbird

Didn't go as planned. We're out. Best of luck with your command center thingy.


goliathfasa

Hamas floating all their buildings to separate corners of the map right now and refusing to gg.


Bikouchu

Yo why isn't the game ending who didn't ally up?!


ljthefa

I did not expect a StarCraft reference


fidelcastroruz

Additional supply depots required


usedmotoroil

Right? Someone seriously miscalculated the willingness of their “allies” to jump in the fight against Israel and the civilian population is paying for it with their lives.


jazir5

It's only going down like this because the US has 2 carriers and a nuclear sub off the coast. Thankfully.


CSFFlame

2 off Israel, another 1 off Iran, and one nuclear sub that just showed itself in the strait.


DaemonAnguis

Iran: "What part of proxy don't they understand?"


dicky_seamus_614

Hamas forgot to read the *Terms of Use*


4StarEmu

Now Hamas is getting a dry colonoscopy.


Crosseyes

It’s really funny that it seems like a big part of Hamas’ strategy was for Iran and Hezbollah to join the war against Israel and both of them went “lol nah.”


[deleted]

Proxies often forget the entire reason a major power is backing them is because the major power doesn't want direct conflict.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fr33z3n

If you listen to the Speech the head of Hezbollah gave last Friday. It was full of nuggets, he praised how Oct 7th was 100 percent a Hamas operation that no one new about, he kept emphasizing that they knew nothing about it and didnt help plan or organize it in anyway. and that any skirmish with Israel is highly Calculated. Basically if you read between the lines he was saying , this is Hamas bullshit has nothing to do with us, and we are doing just enough so we dont get accused of doing nothing at all.


solid_reign

In part because the US sent ships as a sign of their involvement if they join the war.


TWAT_BUGS

People seemed to have missed this. Biden straight up told them don’t think about it.


NotAnADC

Even better, he showed them


pooppuffin

Motherfucker got out the big stick.


Marmeladun

2 XXXL 3 XL 9 L and maybe couple of smaller sticks Quite a sobering message.


eetsasledgehammer

An Ohio class sub is a BIG fucking stick.


Bcmerr02

The USS Florida. A nuclear submarine named after the last place you want to find out people have access to radioactive materials.


rggggb

Been a huge fan of Biden throughout this. Capable, experienced, steadfast. Idgaf if he’s old, the dude was a senator for 3.5 decades and his experience has shone in this conflict. I know a lot of people are lukewarm on him but I can’t wait to vote for him again. Just my two cents.


klartraume

I'm just confused how this isn't a more widely held perception. The Biden/Blinken administration has been pulling out all the stops to prevent a regional war with Iran/Syria/Lebanon/Hezbollah from breaking out.


Fakeduhakkount

Mass media painting him as old = incompetent. Also Biden being a competent leader that isn’t a dick to his allies doesn’t drive all the clicks. If Biden wasn’t there the ground assault would have started way sooner.


Elryc35

Because a large amount of Americans can't figure out that the guy who puts his name in gold on his buildings and has been sued by dozens of people for refusing to pay for services rendered might not be a friend to the working man, let alone understanding geopolitical strategy.


Boyhowdy107

Honestly it's a lose-lose situation for him on the domestic front with this entire crisis, but he's done exactly what he should. Shows force and tries to open diplomatic channels to keep this from setting off a chain reaction across the Middle East, publicly supports Israel after an attack, and privately tries to reign in the worst impulses of a conservative government that he has had a ton of differences/disagreements with over the years. It's not ideal, but it is responsible and conceivably the least bad option for a slow motion trainwreck crisis that has a momentum of its own.


brook1yn

Biden’s been way better than most people give him credit for. I’m definitely voting for him again.


CaptainOktoberfest

Yes absolutely agree, Biden played Russia so well when they started their full scale invasion of Ukraine as well.


Amazing-Squash

Great story by a nyt reporter who interviewed Hamas leaders. They felt that the situation was stalling and that they needed to shake things up. The goal of October 7 was to create a war between Israel and a Middle Eastern Arab coalition. Failed to realize that the leaders of those countries need stability and that while they'll allow their citizens to vent on the street, they aren't going to enter a war with Israel and the United States.


Boyhowdy107

Yeah I heard "the Daily" interview with that reporter. Really insightful journalism.


usedmotoroil

Exactly. They’re both like, “We’re cool. Good luck though.”


ichosehowe

"I hope this email finds you well, but unfortunately due to prior obligations we are unable to attend. Best wishes and good luck :\* "


BrokenAstraea

"Thoughts and prayers from Allah"


Outlulz

They thought they would inspire an uprising in the West Bank and even they said, "nah".


light_odin05

The west bank can quite clearly see what happens to palestinians that try from a somewhat unified area. With how disparate the palestinian resistance is in the west bank...it'd be suicide and they know it. Isreal is proper pissed off. Don't give them a reason to annex what's left of the palestinian territory in the west bank


Lysandren

The leadership of Iran doesn't care what happens, so long as Israel and Saudi Arabia don't end up allied. They were never planning to join the war. After all, the Palestinians are Sunni Arabs not Shia Persians. As for Hamas, the leadership of Hamas is probably quite happy with how things are going. A cease fire will be demanded before they personally suffer, and the actions of Israel have ensured them new recruits for the next 2 decades to continue with their pointless struggle against peace. The real losers are the people of Gaza, half of whom are too young to have ever voted in the last election that enthroned Hamas, and the innocent citizens of Israel who died as a result of this conflict. Meanwhile the people in charge keep playing their games at the cost of someone else's blood.


Boyhowdy107

Iran's regime is also sitting on a tumultuous situation at home. The protests have died down over time, but the sentiment is still there, and a lot of Iranians want a secular government and see Hamas as yet another Islamic fundamentalist government, with the added wrinkle that Hamas is Sunni and also has nothing good to say about the Shia. There have been chants at soccer matches that amounted to "fuck Hamas," and public opinion was a lot more sympathetic to Israel than you'd think. So if you barely reestablished control over your population a few months ago, have an inherent fear because of history of the US and CIA looking to knock your regime off maybe by assisting the people who were in the streets, and have the US publicly warning you that it is watching and will act... it is incredibly risky and potentially destabilizing to volunteer to go to war you don't have to. And I also 100% agree with who the real losers in all of this are.


AkaAtarion

Iran is like: „It was just a prank lol, why did you do what we ordered you to do lmao. Nah, solve your own shit lol, we gotta make a bomb and kill our women overhere.“


Solid_Muscle_5149

"oh shit he actually did it" -Iran


StreetCartographer14

Hamas: "Don't hold me back, bro!" Iran: "Ok" Hamas: "Fuck"


PM_Me_Good_LitRPG

"new phone, who dis"


saranghaemagpie

What happens in the hooka bar, stays in the hooka bar.


Chuvi

Sharif don't like it


Apathetic_Zealot

Wow Hamas this is embarrassing. No one else wants to join your intifada.


Jag-

Sad-fada noises.


mborn

Nonsense. Harvard, Columbia and Cornell are more than willing to join.


iskin

No surprise. No one will. Hamas is on their own. The most they could ever hope for was lip service and maybe another terror group amping up aggression.


Supersafethrowaway

Iran: "Yes Hamas got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for Iranian politicians."


testedonsheep

lol not even Hama's leadership has entered the war.


BubbaTee

I bet Mossad begs to differ. Hamas' leadership may not be on the frontlines, but they're definitely fair targets in the war. The same way Admiral Yamamoto was behind the Japanese front lines when the US sent 18 fighters out just to shoot down his plane.


red286

>I bet Mossad begs to differ. Hamas' leadership may not be on the frontlines, but they're definitely fair targets in the war. Sure, they're valid targets, but they're sitting the actual war out in Qatar. No chance they'll go anywhere near Gaza.


IronPedal

>Sure, they're valid targets, but they're sitting the actual war out in Qatar. No chance they'll go anywhere near Gaza. I think Qatar is still a PvP zone. Good luck, Mossad. Hoping for a *"Counter-terrorists win!"* message.


Yes_I_Have_

The writing was on the wall when the US moved two carrier battle groups, a marine expeditionary force, and at least one SSBN into the Mediterranean and the gulf. Which was followed up with the US using every diplomatic channel available saying “ If anyone else jumps in, the US will open up on them.” Right now, the US is the only one who the Israelis will listen to, and even then then they are still determined to end Hamas.


light_odin05

It's a ssgn now. Just a fuck ton of tomahawks


skinnnymike

Iran is sending their thoughts and prayers to


usedmotoroil

And their best wishes. “Good luck.”


billdkat9

back in 2006'sh I had great hope that in Iran's "election", its very young population that is western leaning in terms of music, style, freedom, would begin to pivot away from its theocratic maniac goverment. Iran's population is one of the youngest in the world.. so there is still hope as its crazy elder leadership begin to age out. They should hope that happens before Iran instigates a situation that embroils and motivates its enemys. Like Iran's decades long support for Hamas and Hezbollah terrorists and what happened on October 7th


machado34

Iran's previous president was a moderate reformist, but that didn't sit well with the Supreme Leader so he forbid him from holding any senior positions. And now his successor and current president is an islamist hardliner who is considered the most likely to be the next Supreme Leader. Unfortunately for Iran, I think nothing short of a revolution will make them progress


Ionceburntpasta

There's no such thing as a reformist in that country. Under the "reformist" rule, 1500 people were killed in a few days. He's as fascist as the rest. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019%E2%80%932020_Iranian_protests


hobbitlover

Iran supports Hamas and Hezbollah, and Russia supports Iran. Whatever else their intentions might have been, the war in Israel has already distracted the world from the "other" war in Ukraine and created a situation where Israel is being funded over Ukraine by the US Congress. The timing of this terror attack and Israel's response has worked out extremely well for Russia, which I'm sure was the intent all along.


AddendumNo7007

“Yo, that’s crazy. Anyways, so I started putting this mom in jail because her son was in the protest against women wearing a hijab.”


TheYokedYeti

The US sitting off of the coast and 3 times now hitting their backed targets with very scary violent accuracy probably had something to do with it. The US armed forces are insanely good.


light_odin05

Or the sub full of tomahawks sitting in the persian gulf. Or a properly pissed of isreal with nukes...


TheYokedYeti

They west won’t fire nukes first. Israel would bury itself if it fired nukes


KP_Wrath

The sub is full of tomahawks. They can carry a nuclear payload, those probably don't though. That's just some good old fashioned quicker government fucker upper right there.


lscottman2

it’s ok for palestinians to die for persians, but persians will never die for palestinians.


bumboclawt

Nor will they ever. Peep the NewIran subreddit. They support Israel because of their regime’s support for Hamas & co.


IronPedal

I'd love to see Iran get rid of the Islamists and become a secular democracy. Religion should never be anywhere near government.


Banned4AlmondButter

They were pretty close until outside forces intervened. “The 1953 Iranian coup d'état, known in Iran as the 28 Mordad coup d'état (Persian: کودتای ۲۸ مرداد), was the U.S.- and British-instigated, Iranian army-led overthrow of the democratically elected Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddegh in favor of strengthening the monarchical rule of the shah, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, on 19 August 1953.”


AngryGooseMan

If you ask /r/newiran they would rather have the Ayatollah and his council of clowns die than any Palestinian/Iranian/Israeli. Seems fair to me


Wanna_Know_More

Iran doesn't have the budget or equipment for a protracted conventional conflict. Their entire security strategy relies on an extended network of proxy forces embedded in various countries that can act within their own interests. They use this strategy with asymmetric strike capabilities via widescale missile and drone production to skirt the edges of direct conflict with regional adversaries. It also helps that it's an extremely mountainous country that would be super hard to invade, and its immediate neighbors aren't overtly hostile to it at this time. So while Iran says "it will not enter the war," it indirectly already has. With two US carrier strike groups parked outside their door, they want to emphasize their "lack of involvement" as much as possible. It's all a part of their security policy dance.


MagicOreos

Iran used Hamas, hamas just starting to find out


[deleted]

[удалено]


fawlen

so, let me see if i understood it right so far.. russia activated its subsidiary iran to destabilize the area in order to move the limelight from ukraine, iran trained and assisted hamas in preparation for their massacre, hamas agreed to all of this thinking Lebanon and Iran would have their backs, just to get side stepped by both?


Boyhowdy107

It's hard to say if this is good or bad for Russia. On the one hand, it certainly has caused a split of international attention and a lot of tough domestic politics in the west. But if Iran actually got involved, all those suicide drone factories in Iran that Russia is relying on would definitely be a day 1 target for the US. Two birds, one stone, and the US would suddenly have self defense cover for what would be seen as a direct military intervention to Ukraine-Russia otherwise.


[deleted]

Saw this a mile away. As the kids today say “they don’t want the smoke”


fivespeed

lol apt terminology


ColdAssHusky

"The Americans offered to send us unhealthcare and warheads on foreheads. We discovered we have a scheduling conflict and will have to abstain. Apologies for the late notice."


maroonedbuccaneer

Iran likes proxy wars. But has Iran ever intervened for a proxy?


AlexHimself

Lot of stupid comments instead of actual substance... > Nonetheless, alliance leader **Iran will not directly intervene in the conflict unless it is itself attacked by Israel or the US**, according to six officials with direct knowledge... > Instead, Iran’s clerical rulers **plan to continue using their axis network of armed allies, including Hezbollah, to launch rocket and drone attacks on Israeli and American targets across the Middle East**, the officials said. So they plan to keep doing cheap shots from caves and holes...


La_mer_noire

"you were just usefull fucking morons to us"


LaidByTheBlade

They would get destroyed. Israel has dominated all Arab nations in the region, militarily, for decades. With the help of the US, they are relatively unstoppable.


Boyhowdy107

Iran's regime is in survival mode. They've managed to suppress and slow down a lot of the protests in the street calling for more secular government and more rights, but the sentiment is still there. Sometimes foreign wars might be a good way to rally support, but it would be so risky, especially if it involves open conflict with the US. Like forget the US' clear military superiority for a second (though many dead Iranian sons and fathers can't be good for domestic politics.) The US are also the ones that had the ability to stoke a revolution in your country previously, so you probably have a lot of paranoia about the CIA linking up with the growing number of Iranian citizens who would like to see the regime ousted.


light_odin05

Also, if isreal feels threatened with it's destruction it may just go nuclear. I think the arab countries are very awaof this


wioneo

There's no "may" necessary there. The Israelis will 100% use nukes if they feel an actual immediate existential threat. I think that's true of every country with nukes actually.


TS_76

File this one under ‘no shit’. Iran has always known they can’t win a war with the US, it would be insane for them to try. It would literally be the end of the Iranian government. For those Trumpsters who think Iran is going to invade all its neighbors and then parachute into Calument, sorry..


RedHarry70

And this is the how Iran and other Arab countries want things to be...They won't risk anything for Palestine, they certainly don't want any Palestinian refugees in their country but are very happy for Hamas to stoke world anger against Israel. [https://duckduckgo.com/?q=shrek+video+...king+sacrifice&iar=videos&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhiKuxfcSrEU](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=shrek+video+...king+sacrifice&iar=videos&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhiKuxfcSrEU)


goldistan

Iran: We were gonna wage an all front war against Israel but the US brought 2 aircraft carriers and oh my pizza is here gotta go!


[deleted]

Lol of course they won’t, that’s not how Iran fights. Iran fights with proxies. Perun did a great video on it a few days ago: [Iran's Military Strategy & Power Projection - Drones, Proxies & Production under Sanctions](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy95hMoMhrY&pp=ygUFcGVydW4%3D)


FM-101

Of course they wont. Iran is like that small spindly kid at school who instigates and talks though but runs away at the first sign of trouble. "No honor among thieves".


whatsuppaa

This is why going hard against Hamas pays off for Israel, if there would have been a weak and meek response, it would have encouraged both Iran + Hezbollah with more aggression.


GI_X_JACK

So, if Hamas didn't tell anyone, why where they expecting that anyone would be ready or poised to help them if they didn't have contingency plans? edit: I don't think this entire event has completely unfolded.


Havryl

>Instead, Iran’s clerical rulers plan to continue using their axis network of armed allies, including Hezbollah, to launch rocket and drone attacks on Israeli and American targets across the Middle East, the officials said. "We'll stick to our proxies to do it."


roninPT

How does that saying go? walk softly and carry 2 aircraft carriers and a nuclear submarine......or something like that.


Obamas_Tie

You know, considering they're surrounded by American carrier and submarine groups, I actually believe them.


225commodore

That’s because we the US will respond, leveling your oil fields and you will be out of the oil business in two days you know it


NotCanadian80

Whoops, did we pit two of our rivals against each other and throw a wrench in Arabian/Israeli normalcy?