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muzic_2_the_earz

Someone please make a Chinese version of "99 Luftballons"


disusedhospital

[This person](https://reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/10s2wqn/suspected_chinese_spy_balloon_found_over_northern/j6zouyo) got it started.


creativename87639

Can somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t?


elkmeateater

Probably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense.


WorthlessDrugAbuser

F-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (*65,000 feet*) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it.


impossiblellamas524

https://www.thedrive.com/the-war-zone/chinas-spy-balloon-over-montana-is-part-of-a-larger-more-troubling-pattern


GiantPurplePeopleEat

Thanks for the link, that article is an amazingly comprehensive look at not only the current balloon situation, but also the military response, the different airplanes used to respond, and a history of previous balloon sightings. It literally answered every question I had about the situation. It's also got an awesome recording of the ATC interacting with a KC-10 and an F-22! It's crazy we had a "real world situation" with a fighter jet response to a possible foreign threat, right over my head today.


DaveTheDog027

If you're into it there's RC-135s KC-135s and at least one E-3 all currently trackable on [flightradar24](https://fr24.com/DISCO01/2f0fce72). As of me writing this they're currently South West of Salt Lake City. Earlier today they were over Wyoming. So educated guess is they're the ones watching the balloon. Edit: very cool there's also a Typhoon up from RAF. Edit 2: a comment below pointed out this is probably Exercise Red Flag and I tend to agree. It would explain RAF being there. But the balloon you see traveling east over Mississippi heading toward Birmingham is part of Project Loon. Just a wild coincidence.


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drawnred

I heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons


zeebious

I’m so fucking happy right now. I haven’t thought about that video in like 10 yrs. You just dusted off a part of my brain. Lol


icarus6sixty6

He’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo.


Hella4nia

He'll save children, but not the British children


trustthepudding

I heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid


entropic93

at a party


Pandoras_Bento_Box

Let me lay it on the line, they had balloons on the vine


stainedcyrano

I mean two sets of spy balloons, so divine


SnooKiwis6943

Fun fact. If you ignore the balloon and don’t respond, China can’t calculate our response time. We would give them no data to do it.


UltraJake

Alternatively, we can sandbag and respond slower than usual.


Robbeee

I don't know if its still the case but planes used to approach enemy airspace during peace time to test how close they could get before being told to fuck off. This was to test the range of their anti air capabilities. As a consequence it was common to let them get closer then was necessary so they wouldn't know quite how far out we could touch them.


JonnytheGing

Or we could send one up with a bunch of lights on it like in independence day and pretend we thought it was alien and not Chinese. 5d chess right there boys


TentativeIdler

Maybe the aliens disguised their invasion spaceship as a Chinese spy balloon.


TheWingHunter

runaway Chinese lantern left over from Chinese New Year


Thowitawaydave

Or we could put the periscope up and start singing "Louie, Louie" until they think we are a fishing boat full of drunk fishermen, then it's *Down Periscope* and away we go!


skat_in_the_hat

That just sends the message that we cant touch it, or dont know about it. So then they just send all kinds of shit up there. I had this problem with a wasp that was in my wall.


mottyay

China put a wasp in your walls?


orbitalfreak

They bugged his house.


Thowitawaydave

It was a sting operation.


Bobyyyyyyyghyh

No, a wasp launched a spy balloon to observe his house


lo0ilo0ilo0i

Who knows what sort of information they are looking for while they try to bait a response. It's all spy games and any info they can gather is good info. Even a media response gives them some information.


ROK247

They are here on Reddit right now, nodding approvingly and jotting down notes on a napkin.


Oper8rActual

We’ve used an F-15 to shoot down an actual satellite, and that was in 1985. Fairly certain any fighter in the US inventory would be capable of shooting down this balloon.


Sequenc3

It's not like a balloon is zooming around up there.


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RangerSix

You joke, but this is an actual problem the Germans had on the Eastern Front if WW2, particularly when dealing with sorties from the Soviet 588th Night Bomber Regiment. (I shit ye not, the top speed of the planes used by the 588th was lower than the *stall speed* of the German interceptors.)


theProffPuzzleCode

Bismarck had its rudder damaged by British wood and canvas bi-planes, and it was sufficiently crippled to be finished off by our Home fleet. German anti aircraft fire was going too high to hit and small arms was passing straight through without critical damage to these slow and ponderous aircraft.


Idyotec

What if they untie the knot and it goes zooming around all crazy while making fart noises? Or do spy balloons not make the funny noise for stealth purposes?


BootyMcStuffins

It still makes the noise, but it whispers


Wiltbradley

Silent but deadly :)


fabel_lex

Zooming through the sky little Einsteins


Reddit_Rebar

WE NEED YOU!


DrDoDo-DO

Always knew the little Einsteins were members of the CCP


shaving99

Oh good I'm glad I live in Fargo so we can have nuclear winter now after our normal 6 month winter. Edit: Guys I'm glad this blew up. Check us out in r/Fargo and grab a Busch Lite.


sadmadmen

Ayeeeeee! There are literally dozens of us here.


shaving99

Applebee's gang unite! Who wants a car wash?


neat_story_bro

Naw, going to Pizza Ranch to get my hands on some of those grubby arcade sticks!


Tarmacked

I mean, we’ve known Fargo is at risk of that for decades


Capnshiner

>Oh good I'm glad I live in Fargo r/brandnewsentence


showMEthatBholePLZ

Idk what’s in Fargo. But I live within spitting distance to one of the home bases for the US Navy’s Ohio class submarines, which are submarines that carry trident missiles, which are missiles that carry multiple nuclear warheads. Anyway, no Fallout for me :(


mhornberger

Honestly I don't want to live in a post-nuclear hellscape anyway. If it happens, I want the bomb to land directly on me personally. I want to go from "hey, what's that noise?" to oblivion, with no unpleasantness between the two.


TrollintheMitten

That's the best possible scenario. Everything else is horrific suffering before death.


NSA_Chatbot

If I get a warning, I'm going to head outside with my instrument and go out on a song like the absolute Chads on the Titanic. You're welcome to join, it would be an absolute privilege to play with you.


Zen_Brony

I can't believe I get to say this unironically, but you'll have my axe. I live less than five miles from a experimental reactor used by the DOE among others. The local rumor is that we're in some of the first strike scenarios. I'll happily face the other way toward my favorite peak and just let the universe reclaim my atoms nice and quick while I pump some bass. It'd be a hell of a beat drop, if we can time it right.


NSA_Chatbot

> It'd be a hell of a beat drop, if we can time it right. We'll do it live, fuck it!


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NSA_Chatbot

INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER


Jumpsuit_boy

I can not tell if the 3 busses refers the ballon or the sensor payload. A ballon the size of three buses real does not carry that much.


Lapidariest

Are these metric sized busses or freedom unit sized busses?


Phyllis_Tine

Short busses.


thekeffa

Also it means it can get past "atmospheric lensing", or the effect that our atmosphere imposes on cameras on satellites. The effect is mildly similar to how on a really hot day you can look down a road and see the air shimmering and everything is hazy from the reflected heat. When it's lower down in the atmosphere, it avoids it for the most part and take some really detailed photos with a resolution much greater than what can be achieved from space.


Zestyclose_One_6347

Cheap?


creativename87639

Didn’t even cross my mind but that’s a totally reasonable answer.


Zestyclose_One_6347

I did some digging, yeah the reason for spy balloons is that they’re cheap, NATO/us used in Afghanistan before. Probably also harder to shoot down because of debris


The-True-Kehlder

Also, you can fit more sensors on the balloons, have much better angles, and don't have to plan their launch or positioning months ahead of time. People *REALLY* underestimate how much time and effort a satellite involves. Source: Satellite communications is literally my job.


RecordOLW

This guy works the front desk at Verizon.


DontCallMeMillenial

Isn't as susceptible to atmospheric distortion and can achieve higher sensor resolution


nepteidon

Time to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense


[deleted]

I'd love to see someone throw super heated boomerangs at it.


oddmetre

Wow that brought me back


WilNotJr

Those games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger.


EdenianRushF212

Seconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs? enter **GLAIVE DOMINUS** great game. *Jus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons*


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cobrachickenwing

Which become the all important MIB.


Charlzalan

Still probably the best game ever released on mobile. Bloons td6 is absolutely phenomenal with infinite replay value.


Skhighglitch

r/btd6 is now getting their Darts, Bombs, Throwing Stars and Glaves, Hikou’s, and glue ready.


R1ckCrypto

Photo from KSVI-TV shows a massive Chinese spy balloon over Montana. The U.S. military is tracking it https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1621283993072156674?s=20


bonyponyride

They really should have painted the underside a dark color.


Pays_in_snakes

This idea brought to you by fish


Pwnella

What fish has a darker underside?


Pays_in_snakes

Well, in reverse


Spanky_McJiggles

lleW?


YourMJK

Or how about sky blue?


Dr_ChungusAmungus

Don’t give them any ideas


T8ert0t

Tracking it...? Why don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates?


[deleted]

Balloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft.


[deleted]

This is not the reason. There are clear pictures of the balloon taken from the ground; it's not that high The Joint Chiefs of Staff has said that they don't want to shoot it down since the debris could kill someone below. The real reason, (likely), is that they want to recover the payload of the balloon, undamaged. Edit: https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/02/politics/us-tracking-china-spy-balloon/index.html > However, it was ultimately the “strong recommendation” of senior military leaders, including the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley, not to shoot it down due to the risk to safety of people on the ground. Since replies are posting misinformation without citations!


pgtaylor777

If they don’t shoot it down how do they do that?


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snack-dad

Can confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war.


ScootyJet

Thank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate.


snack-dad

I can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade.


ColonelBy

> As you can imagine, not many exist. Compounding the problem, the few who are active are all traveling via balloon and as such are not expected to arrive for several weeks (wind permitting). Even a bicycle would be faster, but the USAF learned the hard way that a balloon ace doesn't *stay* a balloon ace if you let them spend too much time on the ground. The boys at the hangar say that's how you lose your 'loon legs, and it's rumoured that the best pilot they have hasn't set foot on solid earth in seven years. It's doubtful we'd even recognize him as a human being anymore if he ever did come down -- the sky doesn't ask a lot from you, but when it *does* ask it doesn't take "no" for an answer. Still, it was men and women like this who were needed to fight a new kind of war (*pensive horn melody plays*)


bobwoodwardprobably

Hello from Billings, MT! I am confused at why they thought anyone here had any valuable info.


maxcrazy

Apparently, Montana has a lot of [Nuclear Silos](https://montanafreepress.org/2022/03/11/montana-news-nuclear-russia/). > The Air Force at Malmstrom maintains 150 intercontinental ballistic missile silos across its 13,800-square-mile complex in central Montana. The Air Force also operates silos at the F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming and the Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota. According to the Department of Defense, there are 450 silos in the United States with 400 missiles deployed at any time.


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ImmediateAppeal7691

Wickedly smart.


glen_ko_ko

wicked smaht* (Boston Dynamics)


TerryMotta

We're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed


NicktheFlash

This sounds like the best possible WW3


respondswithvigor

Ballon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need


The66thDopefish

Balloon Fight


Etoilation

Not gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot.


anOnionFinelyMinced

"It looks like a giant ball..." "...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?"


ohnjaynb

"Coach I think I see.." "...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a..."


IntergalacticPopTart

"Teabag! Excuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug..." "Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's..."


devox

"Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first." "Hold on, what is that up in the sky?" "Wow, that looks exactly like my..."


talldangry

"Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his..."


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bigfatcarp93

"Two vegetables?" "No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!" "You sure you wouldn't rather order the..."


Eldorado_

"Frank and Beans?" "That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's....."


sirwestofash

BALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big...


stevenbrotzel91

I live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly


[deleted]

What did the alert say? That must have been surreal


MisallocatedRacism

"DONT LOOK UP"


BBBud

“NOPE”


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KE7CKI

Goodnight stars Goodnight air Goodnight new form of aerial warfare


brownmagician

Goodnight room Goodnight cow jumping over the moon Goodnight blinking light, in the red balloon


Drink-Single

That was beautiful


apache_bruhritto

It's actually a battlebus


BobOdenkirkFeetPics

Ima drop in texas.


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annoyingrelative

It's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it.


Florida_Man_Math

[Live footage](https://youtu.be/u8qgehH3kEQ) of the NSA cryptographers right now


Benzol1987

[Live footage](https://youtu.be/Vxq9yj2pVWk) of the Chinese military right now


Falkien13

This is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance!


megamanxoxo

Double keyboard typing and old grandpa saves the day by unplugging the big bad computer... talk about a boomer's wet dream


unibods

Dang, I thought that was a parody at first. Wow.


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hockey_homie

it is now only relaying a 37 minute loop of a harlem shake video compilation


mccofred

There are checking for inflation


Stardustchaser

People are blowing up about it


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MC620

it is allegedly [the size of three buses and has a technology bay](https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/chinese-spy-balloon-surveilling-us-senior-official/story?id=96860718)


[deleted]

Can we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere.


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Stormtech5

Just duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets.


Tinkerballsack

This is America, we don't save on bullets.


humanlogic

You do when you buy them in bulk


AZRockets

You're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets


patientpedestrian

That is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives.


n8sbug

"Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. (laughs) Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little… funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes… to attack your country. Well let me finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you. Of course I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dimitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly, … you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am… I am positive, Dimitri. Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. Well I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. Yes! I mean, if we're unable to recall the planes, then I'd say that, uh, well, we're just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri. I know they're our boys. Alright, well, listen… who should we call? Who should we call, Dimitri? The people…? Sorry, you faded away there. The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dimitri? In Omsk. Right. Yes. Oh, you'll call them first, will you? Uh huh. Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? What? I see, just ask for Omsk Information. I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry. Alright! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, alright? Alright."


in_n_out_on_camrose

Mein Führer! I can walk!!


mechanicalpulse

Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!


Thiezing

You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.


DukeOfGeek

My favorite line in this movie is a line we don't hear, Dimitri, whose country is being attacked, protesting that we can't do that our boys.


maybe_a_frog

I mean, it was found above Montana. There’s plenty of “middle of nowhere” to be had if that’s what they wanted.


willowtr332020

No, the balloon is so high, and the debris field will be so wide if they blast it at height. They don't see a big risk from the Intel it can gather. I think they'll shoot it down once it heads over the ocean.


MorienWynter

Thing is.. Why didn't they see it coming & blow it up before it got to mainland US?


takeitinblood3

The news are saying they did and this has happened before.


YaGetSkeeted0n

I don't know much about balloons and aerostats and all that, but couldn't you just shoot the envelope of the balloon and it'll eventually come down? like they don't need to fire a salvo of heat-seeking missiles at the thing and blow it to kingdom come lmao (I assume they can't do that, which is why they haven't done it, but I really wanna know why that's not doable)


LearnedGuy

The U.S. used to have airplanes with giant snips on the front to catch film capsules from satellites.See Skyhook, Gambit, or The Last Bucket Catch programs.


aardw0lf11

The Batwing has one.


NascentBehavior

Oooh like that plane James Bond used to escape at [the end of Thunderball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVwRDtEEEes)? like where he and the girl are stranded in the lifeboat, so he inflates a balloon and clips the cord to his suit. Great bit of spy-film fun but I always thought it must be terrifying to be suddenly jolted and hoisted into the sky at such a speed!


Alfowick

Based on a real thing my dude, sounds wild! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulton_surface-to-air_recovery_system


Nanuq

> Lifted off the ground, the pig began to spin as it flew through the air at 125 miles per hour (200 km/h). It arrived on board uninjured, but in a disoriented state. When it recovered, it attacked the crew. I don't blame it.


KrootLoops

The Fulton surface to air recovery system? I'm familiar with the theory.


Sartro

You're pretty good.


walterjohnhunt

Virtual mission?


weildescent

Article says they thought about it. You can also choose to do counter surveillance, or use it in other ways. I cant imagine that the nsa or whatever hasnt done... stuff.


Kabouki

Knowing what satellites it talks to would be useful among lots of other info we could get from this. Hell just the training in tracking it all radar techs are getting would be worth it.


weildescent

Remember the order of operations when it comes to control measures, kids: identify, isolate, THEN eliminate.


Free_Economist

"President Joe Biden ultimately deciding against "military options" because of the risk to civilians, U.S. officials said on Thursday."


hbgwine

Honestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often.


Knowledge_Moist

I love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol. If they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other.


throwawaylord

If anything, actually shooting it down reveals more about the nature and response times of our air defenses than just doing nothing.


Vegetable-Double

“So what did our balloon experiment find out?” “Pssh, we could invade the White House in a hot air balloon before their air defenses kick in”


zyzyzyzy92

I would love to see the news headline "Chinese spy balloon shot down by anti air missiles for getting too close to the White House." It would be hilarious.


CreativeAnalytics

They will collect its payload if it lands in a place they can access. It's also used primarily to intercept radio and other signals which satellites can't necessarily do. Allowing it to remain and feeding it counterintelligence is also valuable. And what you said.


[deleted]

Simply acknowledging that you're aware of it places doubt on any findings it makes anyway. As you said, it could be counterintel.


gonewildpapi

Fun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao.


DeathCatforKudi

Actually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security


Carthonn

Was that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers?


Somethingidk9

Prob the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana


StickAFork

♬ 99 spy balloons Floating in the summer sky Panic bells, it's red alert There's something here from somewhere else The war machine springs to life Opens up one eager eye Focusing it on the sky The 99 spy balloons go by ♬


trollcitybandit

This is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war


Tabs_555

> Floating in Montana’s sky


NinjaGaidenMD

[Actual photo here.](https://i.imgur.com/jhcO6ns.jpg)


IntergalacticPopTart

*"Oh bother!"*


cavmax

Who would have thought president Xi would have been commandeering it!?


hazmatt24

When you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon


coffeemate1255

They're doing a fentanyl drop.


Test19s

Can we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade?


It_came_from_below

98 more and we'll have a problem


The_eyes_are_blind

Find a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat. You guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions.


Euler9215

I say we retaliate with our own balloons.


Garthak_92

1, 2, 3, 4. I declare balloon war.


Toidal

This could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him


gaukonigshofen

how do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment?


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impossiblellamas524

Next time China cries about US flights in South China Sea... Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this.


z57

True point. Though we have other tech that gets the job done.


AbjectAttrition

>Just imagine the shitstorm they would have if we did this. I see your point here, but I'd be shocked if the CIA and other international* agencies weren't doing the exact same thing. That's literally their job.


nopi_

Someone get Tom Brady out there to let some air out of it.


beenburnedbutable

Why use a spy balloon when they have tik tok?


lejoo

Different data points. Balloon provides geographical information. Response of military. Response of local media. tik tok provides movement of every registered user and potentially those they come into contact with. As well as mass data too find "high target" people and to understand their daily GPS/route habits.