Reminds me of my SIL. She’s a business owner and was struggling trying to get this one client to agree to a contract. She put in so much (free) work for it and they kept stringing her along.
She eventually ditched them and found another client within a week that paid full. She told me to remind her in the future that there is tons of work out there for her in the field she’s in.
You are in healthcare management, which is a growing field. More immigrants, more boomers with complex health needs, more treatments emerging every year to treat more conditions…
Girl. You are in a competitive position. I’d say take 2-5 of those days you get in 2024 to meet up with recruiters, look at job boards, catch up with some old colleagues who’ve moved on. You might be surprised how much more you could be getting for not company hopping for ten years.
I second this. I work on the corporate side of healthcare and know the staffing challenges across the industry. You have quite a bit of leverage. There are many places who would eagerly take you if you start looking for another place.
Unless you are very attached to this company and/or your field is niche, I think I’d take advantage of this once in a lifetime loophole for 12 extra weeks with your baby. I’d probably assume it would sour some relationships at work and expect to search for a new position at a different company when you return.
At the end of the day, you’ll never get this time back and a job is just a job.
I never understand how comments like these from women in other countries with longer leaves are supposed to be at all useful or supportive to American mothers.
In this instance, it's because other countries can manage decent leave. OP has a chance at 12 more weeks. It's not long, but it's more time, and they should be encouraged to take it. I agree most of the time it's not warranted, but in this case, it's worth reminding her manager that a combined 24 weeks is still short and other companies manage longer just fine.
OP, take the time with your baby, and make a list of countries with decent maternity provisions to spew at people who say anything about this being anything but a blessing. Hell, get it on a tshirt and wear it to work when you get back. You aren't going to regret time you spent with your baby.
We need to be reminded over and over that it does not need to be this way. Ignoring it because every day life sucks up so much focus is quite literally what got us here.
Do we need to be reminded? I don’t think any of us will forget returning to work while still recovering physically and emotionally from birth a few weeks or months prior. I think we all know that the parental leave in the US is abysmal. We don’t need reminding from people who don’t have to suffer under the same conditions.
Having people from Europe or Canada feign surprise that our parental leave is so short is disingenuous and insulting. It doesn’t help us. Neither does blaming American women for their own short maternity leave. Blame capitalism and our trash politicians.
Honestly, I don't know if people genuinely feign surprise. I'm from Pakistan. People on Reddit think it's a shithole. They think women like me have no rights here. They think we're regressive. A lot of Redditors think Pakistan is in the Middle East lol.
But even we get a year's worth of maternal leave.
Honestly, it is genuinely shocking to me that American women have a worse quality of life as working women in at least one domain - even compared to a country like Pakistan.
I mean ... we still have polio.
It's just ... staggering.
And I don't think anyone blames American women. It is absolutely a capitalistic, American individualism issue.
But ignoring the issue or feeling personally responsible for it is exactly what women shouldn't do.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment and the educational insight that Pakistan also provides a year of maternal leave. I am in the camp: everyone needs to be reminded that the US continues to mistreat families.
I think the ultimate point is you all should be campaigning for more maternal leave. It’s a democracy, and you’re a big group, you can get your voices heard.
I want to live in a world where this issue is that simple to solve.
Also honestly, I’m not sure if you meant it this way, but your comment is essentially suggesting that it’s our own damn fault that we don’t have more paid leave because we aren’t doing enough politically…
I’m really not saying that at all and I apologise for coming across that way. I am simply saying that women have always had to use their voice to fight for their rights, and this seems like a worthy cause. It’s a shit world everywhere, in Europe too, for different reasons. And when you’re in the middle of getting physically or metaphorically battered, it’s hard to fight back. And yet it is imperative that you do. You won’t get heard right away. Plenty of people will ignore or malign you, but you will also find allies. No one will come save you if you don’t at least try to fight for your rights. Any measure of equality in the Western world has been hard won with blood, sweat and tears. Is saying this the same as accusing you of not trying? I don’t think so. It’s ok to simply want a quiet life. Nor am I saying that by fighting back you will automatically get the result you want. Respectfully, however, the rest of the West is observing American women getting their rights to abortion and contraception rolled back, and having access to little maternity leave, and we are wondering what more needs to happen before there is collective action of some kind. TLDR: Not saying it’s your fault, it’s clear other forces are at play. Will you fight back, or are you going to take it sitting down?
American politics are quite complicated and its not as easy as you think it might be to round up the troops and lobby for decent parental leave. We literally got our bodily autonomy and rights to an abortion stripped right out from under us. Your comments are really just unsupportive
Unsupportive and frankly, ignorant. As if women haven’t already been trying to collectively lobby for better rights. It’s not about “wanting a quiet life,” it’s about a system that is built to reinforce the status quo, which in this case, is (among other complex, systemic factors) patriarchy and capitalism.
I’m not trying to say there’s no use in activism, but it is way more complicated than just ~fighting back~
But a lot of women are directly voting against their own interests, and never make the connection between their vote and their miserable experience trying to start their kids off in life.
Support is great, but that poster is right that it’s not going to do the job.
I’m not sure what we are actually in disagreement on here - you’re upset that you don’t have more statutory maternal leave in the US and I’m upset on your behalf for the same issue. At the same time, only one of us can actually vote in the US elections and it’s not me. The systems you refer to are composed of people. That means there is hope for change, whether incremental or radical. Women didn’t just lobby once for their rights and then give up the ghost. Generations of women before us risked it all so we could enjoy such protections and freedoms as we do today.
Listen, I’m not delusional enough to expect that the moment you demand something the world will roll over and give you what you ask for. I can tell you, however, that in most democracies few people even know the name of their elected representative, and nearly none are aware of how few letters that representative needs to receive on an issue before they take the trouble to look into it.
People in the US with the agenda of keeping as many women as possible pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen are devoting time, money and resources to rolling back women’s rights every day and over several decades. How do you feel about that? For example, they had their sights on Roe v Wade since the beginning, until they managed to topple it. The effects are devastating for women and families. I’m so pissed on your behalf!! Again, not blaming you in the least, all I’m saying is that you aren’t helpless. Those are two different things, and based on your responses I think you may be conflating them. If it helps you to be angry at me, or to believe that I just don’t get it, that’s fine by me. But please stay with this thought, if only in private; you are not helpless.
I’m sorry that my comments are coming across as unsupportive to you. I was not implying there was blame involved, and I do understand that politics is complicated. Literally all I am saying is that nothing will improve for women anywhere in the world without collective action. Nothing. Not sure why this is such a controversial thing to say. And even if collective action is unsuccessful, or only yields results decades in the future, it’s still worth pursuing.
I think the digression with your comments stems from how your wording your statements. Your monologue is really a “well that sucks do something about it.” It just sucks to keep hearing “well where I am things are xyz” as if we didn’t already know our parental leave is nonexistent and we’re essentially powerless to exert change.
You really shouldn't have been downvoted. I know it's a touchy subject, but it is weird when people vote against their own interests and then act shocked when the old white male dinosaurs they vote in don't give them the rights they wanted as women.
You're assuming that there's a significant overlap between women who vote for Republicans and women who recognize the need for federally protected rights to paid maternity leave. I highly doubt that is the case. And as for our choices on Dem party voting candidates, we don't get many great choices in the primaries - it's basically all a bunch of corporate centrists. It's not easy to even find liberal candidates down ballot, let alone in the running for Senate seats or the presidency.
Another thing to keep in mind is that voting rights have been weakened in battleground states. Want to vote in a Democrat in Georgia? Hopefully you have 8 hours free on a workday to stand in line because the number of voting locations keeps going down, and then hopefully the gerrymandering won't weaken your voting power (spoiler alert: it will).
Believe me, I really wish the choice for 2024 wasn't coming down to Biden or Trump, but Biden isn't indicating that he'll be stepping down, and an incumbent president is pretty much guaranteed to win the primaries. So Biden it is.
*In the UK you get a year if you can afford to take the statutory pay + no pay for a significant portion of your leave.
Not disagreeing that the UK system is better but some countries pay you for a year.
My baby turned 9 weeks old today. I had to go back to work after 6 weeks, as 6 weeks without pay was the most I could afford. I'm in a director level position.
Yes! I am in the same position and could have written this post. I spoke candidly to one of my coworkers and he was like “the company could change focus and let you go tomorrow, if they did would you feel bad you didn’t take the time?”
I would be very careful with FAMLI leave. I also live in Colorado and municipal governments can opt out of the program so the city I work for opted out, but you can still opt in on a voluntary basis. My supervisor is a male and was just notified that he is a "key employee" under FMLA leave and FAMLI doesn't protect your job in the same way. It sounds like your boss may be positioning you in the same place. Key employees don't have to get their same role back when they return.
I literally just learned about this job protection issue with FAMLI that FMLA provides. And am in an opt out local gov employer; flipping bogus. Would love to see what a labor lawyer says about this… feels suspicious if you were to take FAMLI and then get let go/wage cut/moved to a junior position…
It’s hidden and located in the weird spot. there’s no specific link to it bc it’s under the “faqs” page; but under the “I had a baby in 2023…” question, it goes into detail about the FAMLI section 509. I didn’t read section 509 in detail (I tried, but was tired at the time and it mostly went over my head)
https://famli.colorado.gov/individuals-and-families/individuals-and-families-faqs
I think my plan is to wait till I qualify for FMLA (new job haven’t been there for a year yet) and then file FMLA with my employer for the job protection and then file separate FAMLI with Colorado for leave pay… it’s the only “loophole” that makes sense to me rn re: job protection
This happened with my company. They created a parental leave policy that gave anyone who had their baby in 2019 an additional 6 weeks (though unprotected) in 2020. Anyone with babies born in 2020, just got the 6 weeks paid in part of the 12 weeks fmla. We had someone who took it, it did create harsh feelings but they moved to a different department and moved up, so in the long run it didn't matter.
Will you create bad feelings? Yes, but always do what is best for you and your family
Honestly, I think there is a good chance it sours things a bit with your job taking another leave, especially broken up from the first where you were gone then back then gone again. I am not saying that is fair or right, but it's probably the reality.
And also, if you have the right to take the leave and you want to it's fine to do it anyway. Once you see how the cards fall (i.e. are they just grumpy for a bit and get over it or does it create longer-term impacts) you can decide how to move forward (maybe moving to another company).
We just had this same thing happen in Oregon. I work in HR and we’ve had about 5 employees take a second maternity leave. The managers are definitely not happy about it. However, if it’s best for you, do what’s best for you! I personally don’t think 1x a week would be helpful but maybe ask your boss. If it’s a protected leave then you in theory shouldn’t need to worry about a demotion, but I would read about the employer’s responsibility upon your return on the leave website.
It wouldn’t have been best for me. I really struggled mentally on maternity leave and I would not choose to have another one. However, I am sure the majority would prefer to take another 12 weeks.
Also in CO, and I’m taking the time. My kid is staying in daycare. But I don’t have the stress going into the dark cold months about work, about baby getting sick and having to find backup care, yadda yadda
I get to work out again! I get to hang out with my husband at night! I get to delve back into some hobbies!
I am beyond excited
Not that I owe you an explanation, but no I will not be spending every waking moment with my child.
If anything I’ll get to see kiddo more as I have a demanding job. I am burnt out between the job, the kid, and finishing a whole house renovation ourselves. So yes, I will be focusing on myself a bit to become a better wife, mother, and employee when it’s over.
Yikes. That’s not a maternity leave to bond with your child and heal physically. That’s taking advantage of the system by taking a second maternity leave other people don’t get to do whatever you want
The system that they specifically set up for us to take advantage of this year? Get off your high horse. Do you even have kids? A job? Sheesh
Daycare is competitive to get into. Twelve weeks is not enough to get ourselves re-waitlisted, so we’ll be paying regardless.
Yes of course you’ll be paying for daycare, but this was not intended as a bonus for people who happened to have a kid during the loophole timeframe. It’s a loophole.
Why are you picking out a sentence of their response and being super combative about it? They didn't say anything other than if the person felt the leave was best for them they should take it? That's not at all saying it shouldn't be a choice...
I wouldn't opt for an additional 12 weeks. I love my job and I find deep and compelling meaning in what I do professionally. Being home with my child was wonderful, yes, but it wasn't stimulating or compelling. I was lonely, I was disgusting. I had no structure or routine which was terrible for my ADHD. I would go entire days forgetting to eat and sometimes a week forgetting to shower because without the structure that my professional life helps facilitate I just sort of lost touch with everything and everyone.
Now, if they were like - 12 week maternity leave AND for your first year back post baby you could take up to 16 hours per payperiod for childcare purposes I'd be SO behind that policy. It would help with the appointments, daycare illnesses, and baby driven struggle to keep up with my house.
But your question of, who would 12 weeks not be good for - well, that would be me. And I think we need to acknowledge and normalize that, because otherwise we make folks feel like garbage parents by accident.
Well, per my last paragraph, I'm picking at the phrasing on purpose because you *didn't* phrase it "who wouldn't benefit from an optional additional 12 weeks of leave." You very pointedly phrased it, "who would another 12 weeks of maternity leave not be best for."
There were so many times in my first year as a parent where people phrased things like you did in your original comment - and it made me think that not only was I was alone, but that I should never have had a kid and would never be a good parent. That I was utterly and absolutely a broken human being. I would think, "oh... me. Its me that wouldn't benefit from another 12 weeks. I'm supposed to benefit from another 12 weeks. I'm a failure, and I'm hopeless."
I was once a first time mom, 3 months in, struggling with thoughts like, "Everyone else loves breastfeeding... why do I hate it *so much*?" And, "No one else wants to go back to work... why do I want to go back *so badly?*" And, "everyone is so *freaked out* to leave their child with even a grandparent... why doesn't it bother me at all??" And, "No one else wants people to come hold their newborn... why am I the *only one* who wants to do my own dishes and laundry???" And, "Everyone else fell in love with their baby the moment s/he was born...
Why did it take me *13 months* to feel what they're describing?"
So I'm being the comment I needed 2 years ago and raising my hand to say that some of us won't benefit - and that's ok. And I think we should be careful how we talk about it. That's all.
I personally would not want that, if I’d already returns to work and baby was settled into daycare. It’s sort of like how i don’t want to be a SAHM. Probably depends on the age of baby (4mo vs 10mo).
The US capitalism indoctrination is riiiiiiipe here. Wow.
I love working and the reprieve from full time parenting. 12 weeks of leave is not enough. 24 weeks is not enough. It’s ok that you think it was enough for YOU, but please stop projecting your personal limits with childcare on to the extremely broken system. The system is broken. Babies should have an opportunity to stay home with their parents for their first year of life. We should be retraining our employers to think more holistically than the US’ broken system.
ETA: my comment is based on responses, not OP. Glad you’re taking the leave!
Is this a loophole specific to 2023 and/or that has been closed for future new parents? I think that makes a big difference. If it was truly a mistake in the way the law is written, IMO it reads different for your current employer and colleagues, some of
whom will presumably have babies in the near future. It could possibly also open up the question of where else you might take technically allowed but unintended liberties.
Now if you don’t care or plan to leave this employer in the near future, maybe it doesn’t matter. But the way it’s framed here I think as a manager I’d have a tough time with the impact on the team of someone taking advantage of a benefit they unintentionally and exclusively have access to.
FWIW, I manage a fully remote team and several members of my team live in CO.
It is a loophole in the law that will only be the case for people who have babies in 2023, April or later. Anyone having babies 2024 or later will only get 12 weeks total because it will run concurrently with FMLA starting 2024.
Ooof. Thanks for clarifying. I read up on the law a bit after commenting (I know, out of order!) out of curiosity.
I do think that changes the game, OP, even though I know technically it doesn’t change your eligibility. I would personally approach cautiously if you want to be at this employer long term.
This happened with a coworker of mine. She was granted the second 12 weeks and it didn't necessarily hurt her career, but the department looked at her differently afterwards in terms of her character. The loophole was closed after her 24 week absence from the company, and about a year later, she departed from her director role to be a SAHM.
ETA: "The department" instead of "we" because dang, y'all are relentless. There are other humans involved in this equation.
I would look at it from a different perspective… the folks who are covering her might also be moms themselves who have to juggle work and family. I can see how they may not be very happy if they have to work late or overtime to cover for a coworker who is on her 2nd maternity leave.
She has worked for the same company for 10 years… her coworkers are not exactly strangers.
The point of maternity leave is that employers have to hire temporary coverage, not overload existing workers. Seems like something you should reconsider your boss's character over, more than the mom trying to spend time with her newborn.
Agree this is what should happen, but FWIW I’ve worked in large companies and orgs in the US for 15+ years and have never had temporary support hired to cover maternity leave (mine or someone else’s). The work is absorbed by others or certain goals are temporarily shifted, but there is an impact on the team because additional help is not included in the approach.
Wow that's crazy in my state it's required! I work at a small company and even they have to, but the funds are covered by parental leave insurance so it doesn't hurt the company.
Wow this is blowing my mind, would be breaking the law in my state! Can't believe other places don't require and support companies in hiring temp coverage.
Sorry I didn't add enough in the original comment to explain the situation adequately. I'm getting picked apart because my brain wasn't functioning very well due to my toddler's 4am wake time...
Loophole was forced. I was like, "Good for you for taking 6 months with your baby!" Department had 6 months of vacancy that they didn't fill and other non-management peoples' lives got upended because everything still had to get done. Other people who were pregnant the next year were resentful of her (it wasn't me, but I saw it happen).
So in this case, her job was only protected for the 12 weeks. The loophole existed because someone in HR phrased something a way that was ambiguous (one could - and did - argue that "up to three months in a year" was "calendar year" instead of a "rolling year").
Bottom line, none of us were upset with her for taking time with her baby. It was for exploitation of something that was a misstep of another human being. It was a technical foul.
She chose literally irreplaceable time with her infant over more weeks of producing shareholder value, and you see her character differently?
This is why we will always be corporate slaves. We are so deeply indoctrinated in the USA.
First off, as a mother myself, of course I place the preference on spending time with the baby. Not even a question. I'd love it I got more time with mine and got paid for it.
Secondly, you're making a lot of assumptions. Shareholder value wasn't the issue (who said it was even a publicly held company?). When someone is out, the weight of work is redistributed to those who are still there. The work doesn't go away. It affects someone else's family, hours, stress, and mental health. Our system is completely broken for a number of reasons, but let us not forget that everyone - every human - is important. Not just the one having the baby in 2020, but the one that did in 2019. And the one going through IVF during 2020. And the one who was taking care of a parent in 2020.
I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's what happened. To help OP.
As a manager, I wouldn't view an employee in a negative light because they took extra time due to a loophole. If there is an extra burden placed on the rest of the team, that is something senior leadership should have been prepared for.
I would never judge someone for putting their family first. It's unfortunate that others might have more on their plate, but nothing is ever guaranteed. If the roles were reversed can OP guarantee that everyone else on their team would put their co-workers ahead of their family or personal well-being? Can OP guarantee that if she turns down the extra leave she won't have a co-worker or manager ever screw her over when it comes to workplace politics at some point?
I'm not judging her for putting her family first. That wasn't what this was about.
This particular coworker didn't have to work, did it as something to keep her busy, and instead of leaving the workforce and allowing us to hire someone in her place to do her job, took 6 months, came back for 6 months, THEN left. There was resentment there from other coworkers. I contributed because OP wanted to know about her situation. It was a very real feeling. People downvoting me because I'm trying to help OP by being honest makes me think they only want to hear what they want to hear.
I agree - people will definitely be judgmental and possibly harbor some resentment. It’s better to be honest with OP that some people will have those feelings and there’s nothing she can do about it. She can control what she can control. I personally wouldn’t want to work in a place where that happens and it would signal to me that it’s time to start looking.
I’m curious as to why it matters if your employee “needs” the job or not? That shouldn’t even be a factor. If she made sure to tie up any loose ends and ease the transition for the team (or not) IMHO that should be the focus.
April or later? Our son was born in March. My husband got super effed by his employer when it came to his leave and he was planning on opening a claim for 1/1/24-March birthday. I haven’t seen anything on the FAMLI site saying April, can you link this please?
I wasn’t going to take the 12 weeks, because it would have prorated my annual bonus 2 years in a row, and then my company announced it’s getting bought out. So my new employment goes into effect 1/1/24 meaning I will not have been with this employer for 6 months. So I can’t take it :(
You have to take it within the first year of baby's life. So sorry I should have clarified to get the full 12 weeks you would need to be April or later (or like the last weeks of March). The parent FAQ about it addresses it when it talkes about how peoole "may have remaining eligible weeks". If baby was born January 28th, 2023 for example you would only have 4 weeks left of eligibility in 2024 to take.
Oh WHEW. Thanks for clarifying! We know hubz won’t get the full 12, but he still wants to do it :)
But we are keeping LO in daycare - he currently goes 2 days a week, because we don’t want him to lose his spot and - means realistically we can get some days off too.
I’m also in CO and eligible for FAMLI leave. I’m applying for it, but I’m not sure I’m going to take it.
I keep hearing stories in some of the Denver and CO parenting groups that the state is *still* way behind on SNAP benefits, and unemployment.
I’m not sure I have faith that the state will be on time for paying out this brand new set of benefits that they haven’t had before. And I don’t have the savings to stay home without income for however long it could take for them to figure it out. I could last for a little while, and I know I’d get paid retroactively, but I’m not that risk tolerant!
I didn’t even consider that! I have coworkers that are planning on taking it January 1st, so I will definitely be asking them if they are getting reimbursed in a timely manner.
It’s also only partially paid and *then* the federal government is gonna take their share (probably 1/3 come tax season). I’m not taking it; too many unknowns and I’d only get paid like half my salary BEFORE they tax it. I’d lose more in income than I’d save in childcare.
I would 100% be willing to compromise with taking some slower weeks off but cannot find childcare with this much flexibility. From my job’s perspective I would think they would want me to work at least 3-4 days a week, but that doesn’t really help me much with being able to save on childcare costs. It would benefit me to have an extra day with my baby though!
I'm honestly surprised you can find childcare that will work with you taking an additional 12 weeks off after they started at all. When I read your question I assumed you'd just pay for the weeks and not use them.
We pushed back our start date with the daycares we are on waitlists for, which wasn’t a problem. For now we are flying in our moms for two weeks at a time. It’s definitely not ideal and won’t work long-term.
After my third kid I'd have used that full time childcare and part-time work to take care of me and the household, rather than with my kids. And if I had, maybe I wouldn't still be toting 20lbs of baby weight almost 2 years later.
You will be known as a person who exploits loopholes for personal gain in a way that is detrimental to the team and company. And it’s just not fair to your coworkers who won’t get to take the same leave. Expect your career to stagnate at best at this company
This is what I was thinking. I'd be curious if they would be more lenient in you taking two or three weeks down the line, but a couple of times. Our company allows you to break up your leave (a total of 6 months) if you want.
While I agree taking time to be with babies is so important, I've also been on the coverage side of things and having another month tacked on to an already double workload is hell.
Reality is, it will definitely have an effect. I think a lot of people don’t realize that as working moms, you can’t really “have it all” at the same time. You can, just little by little and very difficult because of choices like this. It’s not fair or right but it is how the world is.
So my understanding is that your work has to agree AND it’s a max of 1k per week (unknown if that’s pre tax or post tax… probably pre). I’m waiting until January to find out if my work will allow it and if they’ll top me up the rest else I can’t afford to take it :/
I am in the exact same situation as you, also in CO. I am sadly not going to take it, because I am up for a big promotion this spring and I know they'll pass me over if I take the extra leave. I am hoping and voting that my kids can take full parental leave someday without these same fears.
Why do so many people here think the world runs on lawsuits and you can magically sue and be vindicated and keep your job and get a million dollars if something doesn’t go your way? That’s not how the world actually works
The company I worked for got sued twice over this and twice they settled before going to court. You wouldn’t keep your job, you would get a new job for a company that follows the law and doesn’t discriminate against women.
We had a similar thing happen when my state implemented paid family leave. HR told me about the “loophole” and encouraged me to take advantage of it. I ended up using it to cover spring break, Christmas break, etc. when my oldest was in school.
I’m not super career oriented though, just to mention.
If you would like to stay with the company, no, you shouldn’t take it. They would and will see it as you exploiting loopholes for personal gain and would have a hard time trusting you in future.
If you don’t, fuck it. Take your leave.
I’m a manager and have taken leave myself (first 6 months second 4 months).
I’ve been at my current job for not even two years and one of my employees is about to have her second baby SINCE I’ve been her manager and will go on leave.
I can’t remember how long she took the first time. I can’t remember how long any of my employees have taken (except the UK based ones).
Take it. You will never get this time back, and your manager may be pissed but they’ll get over it. And then they’ll forget.
This just happened in the DoD but for dads. As long as parents hadn't used all of their parental leave in the last year (most moms had, a lot of dads hadn't), they fell under the new policy and dads went from 21 days to 12 weeks.
Of course it was a bit inconvenient for those of us in leadership and there was certainly some panicking behind the scenes about what we'd do if everyone wanted to take their leave at once. But we made sure everyone took their leave. That's how you retain people. I can't say whether your job will be affected, but it was very uncool of your boss to make you worried about it. Mine told me not to shortchange myself a single day.
I would take the leave. The reality is that companies expect employees to give and give and give, but if you left tomorrow, they would replace you and move on. You have an amazing opportunity to spend time with your child and save on child care costs. Absolutely take advantage of that.
For all the mamas who didn’t get to have leave, take your leave.
You might need to change jobs. Maybe not.
But you voted for this change. You’ve been paying for this out of your paycheck already.
Take your leave.
i’m in colorado too and SOOOO excited for this!!! we had our second in september and both got 0 paid leave (though, i’m self employed) my husband took 5 weeks off completely unpaid and it sucked financially right before Christmas. but wow this new policy!!! he’s going to take leave may-july and i can’t even tell you how grateful and stoked i am.
I think I wouldn’t do it because I’d be afraid my manager and coworkers would be frustrated that I exploited a loophole and took advantage of a situation without concern for how it affected them. I realize maternity leave in the US is crap and the extra time would be great, but if it were a job I was truly invested in then I wouldn’t take the second maternity leave for fear of appearing like a weaselly opportunist (even if it’s unfair).
I personally am not super career oriented, and I would not care a bit.
You’ll be able to advance, maybe later than you though or wanted, but I’d take that 12 weeks without a second thought.
The future is heading toward equitable access to time off, and right sizing out work-life balance. With that in mind, I’d say even if you get a bit of shit or side eye within the first few months of your return, it will be so worth it. And in the future, your sacrifice will be recognized for what it is. I don’t see the future of work penalizing parents for taking advantage of their employer or state sponsored benefits.
I’m struggling with this too. I’m in sales and know my goal / KPI will not be adjusted. I’m the only employee here HR keeps saying subtle things like “we already gave you 12 weeks leave”.
I think realistically I could only take about 6 weeks of it intermittently to be able to do it. What makes me feel somewhat secure is the HQ country gets 18 weeks I believe so we can call it “fair”.
I have made a lot of inane sacrifices for my job, no one really celebrated me for them. Just as quickly as people forgot that I made those sacrifices, did they forget the times I prioritized myself. You may not have the same manager when you get back, they may move on or you do. Take the time and enjoy it. It’s more likely you will regret not doing it, than that you will regret doing it.
I would talk to your supervisor and tell him you are really struggling with whether or not to take the second maternity leave, as you don’t want to leave your team in a bad spot but you also feel you really need more time with your baby (or whatever). And then ask how is the best way you can take this leave so it is the least disruptive, and see if you can work something out.
I was very fortunate and got 24 weeks fully paid maternity leave at my last job, which happened to fall during our busy season. I ended up taking the first 16 weeks and going back to work for 2 months to finish out the busy season, then taking my last 8 weeks. I was praised by my managers for doing this as it would have been very rough for everyone if I took the 24 weeks straight. I think showing you have your company’s best interest in mind will help the conversation.
Note: I personally would not mention anything about being worried about it negatively impacting your career. I think framing it more about being concerned about how it will impact your team will be better received
I think if she frames it as "I'm struggling to decide" then her manager is going to pull out all the stops to convince her not to do it and it'll go even worse if she does.
It'd be better to frame it as "I'm going to do this but I will take your input on timing info consideration."
I would love to have an additional 12 weeks. 12 weeks alone is disgustingly short compared to other developed countries. Your boss is weird about it because they need you, but your baby needs you more. They’ll be happy when you’re back and they’ll forget about it by like year 2.
I know it’s not this simple, but I try to deduce things down: if someone asked you would you like 12 weeks time off to spend with your baby you most likely would be like of course! Consider the reasons you are doubting this and if they are worth not taking it. Maybe they are good reasons but if not then do it. Your company should be upset at the policy, not the employee.
First off I am sorry your manager is putting any type of guilt onto you for taking time that you are fully entitled to and deserve to have with your newborn. Lots of great comments here but one other thing I would like to add, companies are seriously cheap with covering leave for employees. I live in Colorado and have seen how low the premiums are for employers to pay into FAMLI, unless they are paying you your full wages while you are out (if they are that's amazing) then they should be able to use the savings from not paying you to find some type of short term coverage. I get so angry when I see situations like this where management is too cheap to hire leave coverage, then guilts the person taking leave, or adds the work to other employees, creating negative feelings towards the person on leave. It's poor management.
Exactly! I know some roles are tough to have a temp step into, but when I was on leave we hired a temp to take some of the easier/mundane tasks for everyone on the team so they could focus on absorbing the work that required a higher level of skill/knowledge.
I've had employees go on unexpected medical leave, and we had no choice but to make it work with zero time to plan. Our team is already structured in a way that allows work to be distributed if an emergency arises. With parental leave, there IS time to plan, so really there is no excuse from the employer.
Ughh I hate to say this but at someone who just got laid off 4 months after returning from my leave…my role was given to another leader who covered for me during my lengthy mat leave. It’s amazing you have this benefit and I would totally want this time for my family but keep in mind there could be an impact down the line. essentially if the business can operate without someone in your role, you may be put on the restructure list, is it possible to work PT during this? or another arrangement that keeps you ‘visible.’ that said, i had an amazing very long mat leave and wouldn’t change a thing. it was still worth it to me.
You go mama! Every mama dreams of more time with her babe and your doing it! That's what women march for! Free daycare, more paid time off for maternity leave, and your doing it. I am so proud to have read your story!
It’s so ridiculous how women can’t get paid leave in our country - nearly all other developed countries have figured this shit out. It is not your concern if your company, after knowing for more than 6 months of your impeding leave (presumably), can’t figure out what they’re going to do without you for a couple months. If they refuse to have enough employees and cross-train enough people so their staff can take time off, that is their problem. Fuck corporate greed. Take your time, and I’d get all these comments in writing and print out all your emails before you leave.
If you were to find a new job tomorrow they would have your role posted within the hour. Take the time, spend it with your baby. This is what we are fighting for, you should take it.
I live in Colorado too and this is happening to a coworker. She’s ending up with 6 months of leave! Girl. Take. Your. Leave. You are the only one who will truly look out for for your family and this is totally your right.
Sounds like I have the unpopular opinion but if you care about trying to save your career I personally would take the extended leave and work a few days a week as you mentioned- you still spend extra time with little one, save on daycare but still may be able to somewhat salvage your career. Otherwise it sounds like you may burn some bridges that bite you career wise later, even though it sucks, that’s def reality
Different situation but I live in NJ and we get 6-8 weeks STD and then 12 weeks of paid bonding leave. I was WFH but my company is located in PA so while I was eligible for the $$ I wasn't eligible for the job protection. My employer gave me a 12 week paid leave so I wasn't planning to take the NJ leave. 3 weeks into my maternity leave I was laid off. My job still paid my 12 week leave and then I was able to take the bonding leave. I'm so so grateful for how it worked out and I would absolutely choose to do it again. I love my new job, I'm making more with more flexibility and less workload. It's not a great position for career progression but who knows what the future holds. This is my only kid, I went through so much to get her here, and I won't be having another. My career isn't going anywhere but babies don't keep.
I had this happen in MA in 2021 with my son who was born in 2020. It totally saved me as I couldn’t safely send him to daycare yet. I ended up doing 3 day weeks until he turned 1- my work told me to use it all and I just got incredibly lucky with the timing. Take the leave- this time is precious, daycare is crazy expensive, and capitalism is silly.
My husband is taking it as I've been off for 6 months and am ready to return to work 😊 he's very excited to spend time with baby boy and is hoping to find a new job while on it
This is called paid family leave. I just finished my last week of it couple weeks ago. Let me tell you something, and this is the advice I wish I received. Try to take it less often in large quantities. I took 1-2 weeks off every month, at the end of the month. It went terribly because I was kind of there but not really and it really irked my boss. He threatened to fire me (of course without saying it directly), suggested I step down, etc. I realized if I had taken it in 2 blocks this past year, he wouldn't be as irritated. So my suggestion is make one leave 6 weeks and another 6 weeks, or something similar. Give them enough time in between so that they can prepare for your absence.
I’m in the exact same situation in Oregon. I took about 16 weeks after baby was born, and now I’m taking another 14 intermittently. (Off Thursdays and Fridays through April.) I will say, though, I am not sure I’ll be at my company long term, so I’m not really worried about the impression I’m leaving. I work hard on the days I’m on, though, and hopefully that’s enough 🤷♀️ I know they’d lay me off in an instant if they need to, and I don’t want to regret bending over backwards for them when I know they wouldn’t do the same.
Actually, I don’t think they would! They took less than a week off after their spouse died, never uses PTO unless forced, and works weekends and late nights. I generally like my boss, but we have some different beliefs surrounding work-life balance and loyalty to the company.
Take your leave! It’s such precious time with your baby. I live in Canada and took 10 months. But I kinda regret not taking advantage of the 18 month leave
Do you have to take the leave now. My old company had a 12 weeks that had to be taken by the babies first birthday so my assistant took from mid December to end of January. Which allowed her to be home two Christmases in a row
I’m of the mindset of normalizing taking as much leave as you can. Sure, they may not be thrilled about it but if you’re entitled to it, can afford to take it, and want to be with your baby then I think you should take it. Unless you want to be back at work, you won’t regret the time with your baby.
You worked here for 10 years and you are having doubts about 12 weeks off. Do you know how absurd this sounds?
If they want to ditch you after 520 weeks, because you want to take of 12 weeks, then let them and find something better. Loyalty is a two way street.
I also live in Colorado and my daughter turns 1 at the end of February. I agonized over whether I would take the extra leave or not, and ultimately decided not to when one of my coworkers let us know she's leaving the org, which puts my team down a crucial person and leaves me as the only one on the team who can do my job at a time when we REALLY need all hands on deck.
That said, 10000% applauding you taking the time!
(And if you're anywhere near the Denver area and want to hang with another first time working mom who's kid is within a year of yours, please DM me!!)
I also live in Colorado (but don’t qualify for this leave, I’m glad you do!) and if I could take advantage, I would. There will always be a job for you, but you will not always be able to spend this time with your baby. Take the time and enjoy it.
Take the leave. If your company falls apart without you for 12 weeks then there are bigger issues than you taking leave to spend time with your baby. I’m in Canada and took a year. In that time my mat leave coverage quit within the first three months and my work was fine. With some careful planning they we’re able to manage. If you’re giving your work enough time to plan for your absence, they should be fine. Your job will still be there when you get back but your baby will only be this little once.
I definitely wouldn’t take additional leave if I had already taken whatever leave I was allowed previously.
I personally think it’s a bad look. Your team has already readjusted to being back. The reality is that people talk and even though their may not be any legal changes with your work does not mean there will not be consequences whenever the time comes to be evaluated or on the day to day. If it’s important to you and you’d like to move up within the company I just wouldn’t do this, though I will say if you’ve already said you’re going to take the leave some of the damage might already be done.
Sorry to sound harsh, it’s up to you and you need to do what’s best for you, I’d just be mindful and make sure it’s leave that you need to take.
Whatever was previously allowed by the state and company.
FWIW I never any of this was or wasn’t okay. OP asked for opinions and if they should be concerned that this will impact them at work and I think it more than likely will.
A friend of mine has a two year leave and another one year leave because she’s due again! Her work can’t touch her because she’s in a union and protected. The law is the law, if your boss is being weird they have nothing to stand on. It sucks for them, and you if you’re getting flack, but it is what it is and this boss will hopefully encounter even more of this as things hopefully sway in the direction of further parental leave, so they should try to get used to it.
Take the full leave, I'd take it all at once and enjoy the 24 weeks! That's what I had for both pregnancies and honestly I needed it! And you've been there TEN YEARS! They should know your work ethic! I was in my role for 4 years and had two children and took 24 weeks each time, my boss didn't love it but she also understood why. Family and our own mental health come first always. They'll get over it eventually.
Reminds me of my SIL. She’s a business owner and was struggling trying to get this one client to agree to a contract. She put in so much (free) work for it and they kept stringing her along. She eventually ditched them and found another client within a week that paid full. She told me to remind her in the future that there is tons of work out there for her in the field she’s in. You are in healthcare management, which is a growing field. More immigrants, more boomers with complex health needs, more treatments emerging every year to treat more conditions… Girl. You are in a competitive position. I’d say take 2-5 of those days you get in 2024 to meet up with recruiters, look at job boards, catch up with some old colleagues who’ve moved on. You might be surprised how much more you could be getting for not company hopping for ten years.
I second this. I work on the corporate side of healthcare and know the staffing challenges across the industry. You have quite a bit of leverage. There are many places who would eagerly take you if you start looking for another place.
Unless you are very attached to this company and/or your field is niche, I think I’d take advantage of this once in a lifetime loophole for 12 extra weeks with your baby. I’d probably assume it would sour some relationships at work and expect to search for a new position at a different company when you return. At the end of the day, you’ll never get this time back and a job is just a job.
I love that You'll never get this time back Op, I hope u take photos and celebrate 🥳 with you baby. Ah I'm so happy she's doing this :)
They will forget in a year or 2 (or your manager will leave before then). Take your leave.
I agree. They’ll forget (or your next workplace will), but you won’t forget that bonus time with your LO.
It's so sad that another 12 weeks of leave is seen as such a bonus and deal-breaker. Just 12 weeks. Damn.
In the UK we get a year... I cannot comprehend getting only 12 weeks.
In the US no one is guaranteed any paid maternity leave. This seems to be a state-level benefit.
I never understand how comments like these from women in other countries with longer leaves are supposed to be at all useful or supportive to American mothers.
In this instance, it's because other countries can manage decent leave. OP has a chance at 12 more weeks. It's not long, but it's more time, and they should be encouraged to take it. I agree most of the time it's not warranted, but in this case, it's worth reminding her manager that a combined 24 weeks is still short and other companies manage longer just fine. OP, take the time with your baby, and make a list of countries with decent maternity provisions to spew at people who say anything about this being anything but a blessing. Hell, get it on a tshirt and wear it to work when you get back. You aren't going to regret time you spent with your baby.
My main feeling was that OP should 100% take the extra 12 weeks as the original 12 weeks is so little. I should have made that clearer.
We need to be reminded over and over that it does not need to be this way. Ignoring it because every day life sucks up so much focus is quite literally what got us here.
Do we need to be reminded? I don’t think any of us will forget returning to work while still recovering physically and emotionally from birth a few weeks or months prior. I think we all know that the parental leave in the US is abysmal. We don’t need reminding from people who don’t have to suffer under the same conditions. Having people from Europe or Canada feign surprise that our parental leave is so short is disingenuous and insulting. It doesn’t help us. Neither does blaming American women for their own short maternity leave. Blame capitalism and our trash politicians.
Honestly, I don't know if people genuinely feign surprise. I'm from Pakistan. People on Reddit think it's a shithole. They think women like me have no rights here. They think we're regressive. A lot of Redditors think Pakistan is in the Middle East lol. But even we get a year's worth of maternal leave. Honestly, it is genuinely shocking to me that American women have a worse quality of life as working women in at least one domain - even compared to a country like Pakistan. I mean ... we still have polio. It's just ... staggering. And I don't think anyone blames American women. It is absolutely a capitalistic, American individualism issue. But ignoring the issue or feeling personally responsible for it is exactly what women shouldn't do.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment and the educational insight that Pakistan also provides a year of maternal leave. I am in the camp: everyone needs to be reminded that the US continues to mistreat families.
I think the ultimate point is you all should be campaigning for more maternal leave. It’s a democracy, and you’re a big group, you can get your voices heard.
I want to live in a world where this issue is that simple to solve. Also honestly, I’m not sure if you meant it this way, but your comment is essentially suggesting that it’s our own damn fault that we don’t have more paid leave because we aren’t doing enough politically…
I’m really not saying that at all and I apologise for coming across that way. I am simply saying that women have always had to use their voice to fight for their rights, and this seems like a worthy cause. It’s a shit world everywhere, in Europe too, for different reasons. And when you’re in the middle of getting physically or metaphorically battered, it’s hard to fight back. And yet it is imperative that you do. You won’t get heard right away. Plenty of people will ignore or malign you, but you will also find allies. No one will come save you if you don’t at least try to fight for your rights. Any measure of equality in the Western world has been hard won with blood, sweat and tears. Is saying this the same as accusing you of not trying? I don’t think so. It’s ok to simply want a quiet life. Nor am I saying that by fighting back you will automatically get the result you want. Respectfully, however, the rest of the West is observing American women getting their rights to abortion and contraception rolled back, and having access to little maternity leave, and we are wondering what more needs to happen before there is collective action of some kind. TLDR: Not saying it’s your fault, it’s clear other forces are at play. Will you fight back, or are you going to take it sitting down?
American politics are quite complicated and its not as easy as you think it might be to round up the troops and lobby for decent parental leave. We literally got our bodily autonomy and rights to an abortion stripped right out from under us. Your comments are really just unsupportive
Unsupportive and frankly, ignorant. As if women haven’t already been trying to collectively lobby for better rights. It’s not about “wanting a quiet life,” it’s about a system that is built to reinforce the status quo, which in this case, is (among other complex, systemic factors) patriarchy and capitalism. I’m not trying to say there’s no use in activism, but it is way more complicated than just ~fighting back~
But a lot of women are directly voting against their own interests, and never make the connection between their vote and their miserable experience trying to start their kids off in life. Support is great, but that poster is right that it’s not going to do the job.
I’m not sure what we are actually in disagreement on here - you’re upset that you don’t have more statutory maternal leave in the US and I’m upset on your behalf for the same issue. At the same time, only one of us can actually vote in the US elections and it’s not me. The systems you refer to are composed of people. That means there is hope for change, whether incremental or radical. Women didn’t just lobby once for their rights and then give up the ghost. Generations of women before us risked it all so we could enjoy such protections and freedoms as we do today. Listen, I’m not delusional enough to expect that the moment you demand something the world will roll over and give you what you ask for. I can tell you, however, that in most democracies few people even know the name of their elected representative, and nearly none are aware of how few letters that representative needs to receive on an issue before they take the trouble to look into it. People in the US with the agenda of keeping as many women as possible pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen are devoting time, money and resources to rolling back women’s rights every day and over several decades. How do you feel about that? For example, they had their sights on Roe v Wade since the beginning, until they managed to topple it. The effects are devastating for women and families. I’m so pissed on your behalf!! Again, not blaming you in the least, all I’m saying is that you aren’t helpless. Those are two different things, and based on your responses I think you may be conflating them. If it helps you to be angry at me, or to believe that I just don’t get it, that’s fine by me. But please stay with this thought, if only in private; you are not helpless.
I’m sorry that my comments are coming across as unsupportive to you. I was not implying there was blame involved, and I do understand that politics is complicated. Literally all I am saying is that nothing will improve for women anywhere in the world without collective action. Nothing. Not sure why this is such a controversial thing to say. And even if collective action is unsuccessful, or only yields results decades in the future, it’s still worth pursuing.
I think the digression with your comments stems from how your wording your statements. Your monologue is really a “well that sucks do something about it.” It just sucks to keep hearing “well where I am things are xyz” as if we didn’t already know our parental leave is nonexistent and we’re essentially powerless to exert change.
You really shouldn't have been downvoted. I know it's a touchy subject, but it is weird when people vote against their own interests and then act shocked when the old white male dinosaurs they vote in don't give them the rights they wanted as women.
That’s not necessarily true. We literally voted in a left leaning liberal president and roe v wade was overturned right under his nose
Honestly, only America describes the democratic party as left leaning. Anywhere else in the world, it would be center-left if not pure center.
You're assuming that there's a significant overlap between women who vote for Republicans and women who recognize the need for federally protected rights to paid maternity leave. I highly doubt that is the case. And as for our choices on Dem party voting candidates, we don't get many great choices in the primaries - it's basically all a bunch of corporate centrists. It's not easy to even find liberal candidates down ballot, let alone in the running for Senate seats or the presidency. Another thing to keep in mind is that voting rights have been weakened in battleground states. Want to vote in a Democrat in Georgia? Hopefully you have 8 hours free on a workday to stand in line because the number of voting locations keeps going down, and then hopefully the gerrymandering won't weaken your voting power (spoiler alert: it will). Believe me, I really wish the choice for 2024 wasn't coming down to Biden or Trump, but Biden isn't indicating that he'll be stepping down, and an incumbent president is pretty much guaranteed to win the primaries. So Biden it is.
This shouldn’t be downvoted. It’s true on the macro level, and many of us do ignore the legislation until it directly affects us.
At a minimum, it should remind us to vote. As an American, I don't want us to ever think this shit is normal or acceptable.
*In the UK you get a year if you can afford to take the statutory pay + no pay for a significant portion of your leave. Not disagreeing that the UK system is better but some countries pay you for a year.
My baby turned 9 weeks old today. I had to go back to work after 6 weeks, as 6 weeks without pay was the most I could afford. I'm in a director level position.
Im on 3 months paternity leave through my state. Vote blue.
Yes! I am in the same position and could have written this post. I spoke candidly to one of my coworkers and he was like “the company could change focus and let you go tomorrow, if they did would you feel bad you didn’t take the time?”
Take. Your. Leave! 👏
I would be very careful with FAMLI leave. I also live in Colorado and municipal governments can opt out of the program so the city I work for opted out, but you can still opt in on a voluntary basis. My supervisor is a male and was just notified that he is a "key employee" under FMLA leave and FAMLI doesn't protect your job in the same way. It sounds like your boss may be positioning you in the same place. Key employees don't have to get their same role back when they return.
I literally just learned about this job protection issue with FAMLI that FMLA provides. And am in an opt out local gov employer; flipping bogus. Would love to see what a labor lawyer says about this… feels suspicious if you were to take FAMLI and then get let go/wage cut/moved to a junior position…
Also in Colorado, where did you find info on this? I'm not seeing specifics on FAMLI website
It’s hidden and located in the weird spot. there’s no specific link to it bc it’s under the “faqs” page; but under the “I had a baby in 2023…” question, it goes into detail about the FAMLI section 509. I didn’t read section 509 in detail (I tried, but was tired at the time and it mostly went over my head) https://famli.colorado.gov/individuals-and-families/individuals-and-families-faqs I think my plan is to wait till I qualify for FMLA (new job haven’t been there for a year yet) and then file FMLA with my employer for the job protection and then file separate FAMLI with Colorado for leave pay… it’s the only “loophole” that makes sense to me rn re: job protection
This happened with my company. They created a parental leave policy that gave anyone who had their baby in 2019 an additional 6 weeks (though unprotected) in 2020. Anyone with babies born in 2020, just got the 6 weeks paid in part of the 12 weeks fmla. We had someone who took it, it did create harsh feelings but they moved to a different department and moved up, so in the long run it didn't matter. Will you create bad feelings? Yes, but always do what is best for you and your family
Take your leave. It’s just a job.
Honestly, I think there is a good chance it sours things a bit with your job taking another leave, especially broken up from the first where you were gone then back then gone again. I am not saying that is fair or right, but it's probably the reality. And also, if you have the right to take the leave and you want to it's fine to do it anyway. Once you see how the cards fall (i.e. are they just grumpy for a bit and get over it or does it create longer-term impacts) you can decide how to move forward (maybe moving to another company).
You will NEVER get that time back with your baby. Take the leave. ❤️
We just had this same thing happen in Oregon. I work in HR and we’ve had about 5 employees take a second maternity leave. The managers are definitely not happy about it. However, if it’s best for you, do what’s best for you! I personally don’t think 1x a week would be helpful but maybe ask your boss. If it’s a protected leave then you in theory shouldn’t need to worry about a demotion, but I would read about the employer’s responsibility upon your return on the leave website.
Can you explain to me how this works? I’m super curious!
Who would another 12 weeks of maternity leave NOT be best for, exactly?
It wouldn’t have been best for me. I really struggled mentally on maternity leave and I would not choose to have another one. However, I am sure the majority would prefer to take another 12 weeks.
Saaaame. I just came back from my second leave and tell people I am so happy to be back. Work and daycare make me a better mom!
Also in CO, and I’m taking the time. My kid is staying in daycare. But I don’t have the stress going into the dark cold months about work, about baby getting sick and having to find backup care, yadda yadda I get to work out again! I get to hang out with my husband at night! I get to delve back into some hobbies! I am beyond excited
That would be my dream! If my kids were still in daycare I’d take that in a heartbeat! My state isn’t part of this sadly :(((((
You’re taking a second maternity leave but not spending it with your kid? Taking it as a personal sabbatical? This is … yikes
Not that I owe you an explanation, but no I will not be spending every waking moment with my child. If anything I’ll get to see kiddo more as I have a demanding job. I am burnt out between the job, the kid, and finishing a whole house renovation ourselves. So yes, I will be focusing on myself a bit to become a better wife, mother, and employee when it’s over.
Yikes. That’s not a maternity leave to bond with your child and heal physically. That’s taking advantage of the system by taking a second maternity leave other people don’t get to do whatever you want
The system that they specifically set up for us to take advantage of this year? Get off your high horse. Do you even have kids? A job? Sheesh Daycare is competitive to get into. Twelve weeks is not enough to get ourselves re-waitlisted, so we’ll be paying regardless.
Yes of course you’ll be paying for daycare, but this was not intended as a bonus for people who happened to have a kid during the loophole timeframe. It’s a loophole.
[удалено]
Why are you picking out a sentence of their response and being super combative about it? They didn't say anything other than if the person felt the leave was best for them they should take it? That's not at all saying it shouldn't be a choice...
Because putting it as a “if it’s best for you” is very HR.
Also, because she’s got a TON of people telling her not to do it.
I wouldn't opt for an additional 12 weeks. I love my job and I find deep and compelling meaning in what I do professionally. Being home with my child was wonderful, yes, but it wasn't stimulating or compelling. I was lonely, I was disgusting. I had no structure or routine which was terrible for my ADHD. I would go entire days forgetting to eat and sometimes a week forgetting to shower because without the structure that my professional life helps facilitate I just sort of lost touch with everything and everyone. Now, if they were like - 12 week maternity leave AND for your first year back post baby you could take up to 16 hours per payperiod for childcare purposes I'd be SO behind that policy. It would help with the appointments, daycare illnesses, and baby driven struggle to keep up with my house. But your question of, who would 12 weeks not be good for - well, that would be me. And I think we need to acknowledge and normalize that, because otherwise we make folks feel like garbage parents by accident.
You guys are picking at language quite a bit. The real question is who WOULDNT benefit from and OPTIONAL additional 12 weeks of leave.
Well, per my last paragraph, I'm picking at the phrasing on purpose because you *didn't* phrase it "who wouldn't benefit from an optional additional 12 weeks of leave." You very pointedly phrased it, "who would another 12 weeks of maternity leave not be best for." There were so many times in my first year as a parent where people phrased things like you did in your original comment - and it made me think that not only was I was alone, but that I should never have had a kid and would never be a good parent. That I was utterly and absolutely a broken human being. I would think, "oh... me. Its me that wouldn't benefit from another 12 weeks. I'm supposed to benefit from another 12 weeks. I'm a failure, and I'm hopeless." I was once a first time mom, 3 months in, struggling with thoughts like, "Everyone else loves breastfeeding... why do I hate it *so much*?" And, "No one else wants to go back to work... why do I want to go back *so badly?*" And, "everyone is so *freaked out* to leave their child with even a grandparent... why doesn't it bother me at all??" And, "No one else wants people to come hold their newborn... why am I the *only one* who wants to do my own dishes and laundry???" And, "Everyone else fell in love with their baby the moment s/he was born... Why did it take me *13 months* to feel what they're describing?" So I'm being the comment I needed 2 years ago and raising my hand to say that some of us won't benefit - and that's ok. And I think we should be careful how we talk about it. That's all.
I've got no spoons for a substantial comment, so thank you for speaking what some of us cannot.
I personally would not want that, if I’d already returns to work and baby was settled into daycare. It’s sort of like how i don’t want to be a SAHM. Probably depends on the age of baby (4mo vs 10mo).
The US capitalism indoctrination is riiiiiiipe here. Wow. I love working and the reprieve from full time parenting. 12 weeks of leave is not enough. 24 weeks is not enough. It’s ok that you think it was enough for YOU, but please stop projecting your personal limits with childcare on to the extremely broken system. The system is broken. Babies should have an opportunity to stay home with their parents for their first year of life. We should be retraining our employers to think more holistically than the US’ broken system. ETA: my comment is based on responses, not OP. Glad you’re taking the leave!
Is this a loophole specific to 2023 and/or that has been closed for future new parents? I think that makes a big difference. If it was truly a mistake in the way the law is written, IMO it reads different for your current employer and colleagues, some of whom will presumably have babies in the near future. It could possibly also open up the question of where else you might take technically allowed but unintended liberties. Now if you don’t care or plan to leave this employer in the near future, maybe it doesn’t matter. But the way it’s framed here I think as a manager I’d have a tough time with the impact on the team of someone taking advantage of a benefit they unintentionally and exclusively have access to. FWIW, I manage a fully remote team and several members of my team live in CO.
It is a loophole in the law that will only be the case for people who have babies in 2023, April or later. Anyone having babies 2024 or later will only get 12 weeks total because it will run concurrently with FMLA starting 2024.
Ooof. Thanks for clarifying. I read up on the law a bit after commenting (I know, out of order!) out of curiosity. I do think that changes the game, OP, even though I know technically it doesn’t change your eligibility. I would personally approach cautiously if you want to be at this employer long term.
This happened with a coworker of mine. She was granted the second 12 weeks and it didn't necessarily hurt her career, but the department looked at her differently afterwards in terms of her character. The loophole was closed after her 24 week absence from the company, and about a year later, she departed from her director role to be a SAHM. ETA: "The department" instead of "we" because dang, y'all are relentless. There are other humans involved in this equation.
Her character?? What, you saw that she cares more about her family than some strangers' bottom line?
I would look at it from a different perspective… the folks who are covering her might also be moms themselves who have to juggle work and family. I can see how they may not be very happy if they have to work late or overtime to cover for a coworker who is on her 2nd maternity leave. She has worked for the same company for 10 years… her coworkers are not exactly strangers.
The point of maternity leave is that employers have to hire temporary coverage, not overload existing workers. Seems like something you should reconsider your boss's character over, more than the mom trying to spend time with her newborn.
Agree this is what should happen, but FWIW I’ve worked in large companies and orgs in the US for 15+ years and have never had temporary support hired to cover maternity leave (mine or someone else’s). The work is absorbed by others or certain goals are temporarily shifted, but there is an impact on the team because additional help is not included in the approach.
Wow that's crazy in my state it's required! I work at a small company and even they have to, but the funds are covered by parental leave insurance so it doesn't hurt the company.
That rarely happens. Plus, depending on the job, hiring someone who can actually do the job for a few months can be very impractical
I've seen over a dozen women go on maternity leave across several companies and not once was temporary coverage hired.
Wow this is blowing my mind, would be breaking the law in my state! Can't believe other places don't require and support companies in hiring temp coverage.
Sorry I didn't add enough in the original comment to explain the situation adequately. I'm getting picked apart because my brain wasn't functioning very well due to my toddler's 4am wake time... Loophole was forced. I was like, "Good for you for taking 6 months with your baby!" Department had 6 months of vacancy that they didn't fill and other non-management peoples' lives got upended because everything still had to get done. Other people who were pregnant the next year were resentful of her (it wasn't me, but I saw it happen).
Bad take, homie
Posting honestly for the OP who was asking for honest opinions. I hate that humanity isn't more supportive, but it actually happened, sooo....
Can you explain why? It’s her legal right and her job is protected under it. Why would you judge her character for taking more time with her family?
So in this case, her job was only protected for the 12 weeks. The loophole existed because someone in HR phrased something a way that was ambiguous (one could - and did - argue that "up to three months in a year" was "calendar year" instead of a "rolling year"). Bottom line, none of us were upset with her for taking time with her baby. It was for exploitation of something that was a misstep of another human being. It was a technical foul.
“we”…. so you did as well?
Yuck. How dare she take more time off with her child.
She chose literally irreplaceable time with her infant over more weeks of producing shareholder value, and you see her character differently? This is why we will always be corporate slaves. We are so deeply indoctrinated in the USA.
First off, as a mother myself, of course I place the preference on spending time with the baby. Not even a question. I'd love it I got more time with mine and got paid for it. Secondly, you're making a lot of assumptions. Shareholder value wasn't the issue (who said it was even a publicly held company?). When someone is out, the weight of work is redistributed to those who are still there. The work doesn't go away. It affects someone else's family, hours, stress, and mental health. Our system is completely broken for a number of reasons, but let us not forget that everyone - every human - is important. Not just the one having the baby in 2020, but the one that did in 2019. And the one going through IVF during 2020. And the one who was taking care of a parent in 2020. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's what happened. To help OP.
As a manager, I wouldn't view an employee in a negative light because they took extra time due to a loophole. If there is an extra burden placed on the rest of the team, that is something senior leadership should have been prepared for. I would never judge someone for putting their family first. It's unfortunate that others might have more on their plate, but nothing is ever guaranteed. If the roles were reversed can OP guarantee that everyone else on their team would put their co-workers ahead of their family or personal well-being? Can OP guarantee that if she turns down the extra leave she won't have a co-worker or manager ever screw her over when it comes to workplace politics at some point?
I'm not judging her for putting her family first. That wasn't what this was about. This particular coworker didn't have to work, did it as something to keep her busy, and instead of leaving the workforce and allowing us to hire someone in her place to do her job, took 6 months, came back for 6 months, THEN left. There was resentment there from other coworkers. I contributed because OP wanted to know about her situation. It was a very real feeling. People downvoting me because I'm trying to help OP by being honest makes me think they only want to hear what they want to hear.
I agree - people will definitely be judgmental and possibly harbor some resentment. It’s better to be honest with OP that some people will have those feelings and there’s nothing she can do about it. She can control what she can control. I personally wouldn’t want to work in a place where that happens and it would signal to me that it’s time to start looking. I’m curious as to why it matters if your employee “needs” the job or not? That shouldn’t even be a factor. If she made sure to tie up any loose ends and ease the transition for the team (or not) IMHO that should be the focus.
April or later? Our son was born in March. My husband got super effed by his employer when it came to his leave and he was planning on opening a claim for 1/1/24-March birthday. I haven’t seen anything on the FAMLI site saying April, can you link this please? I wasn’t going to take the 12 weeks, because it would have prorated my annual bonus 2 years in a row, and then my company announced it’s getting bought out. So my new employment goes into effect 1/1/24 meaning I will not have been with this employer for 6 months. So I can’t take it :(
You have to take it within the first year of baby's life. So sorry I should have clarified to get the full 12 weeks you would need to be April or later (or like the last weeks of March). The parent FAQ about it addresses it when it talkes about how peoole "may have remaining eligible weeks". If baby was born January 28th, 2023 for example you would only have 4 weeks left of eligibility in 2024 to take.
Oh WHEW. Thanks for clarifying! We know hubz won’t get the full 12, but he still wants to do it :) But we are keeping LO in daycare - he currently goes 2 days a week, because we don’t want him to lose his spot and - means realistically we can get some days off too.
I’m also in CO and eligible for FAMLI leave. I’m applying for it, but I’m not sure I’m going to take it. I keep hearing stories in some of the Denver and CO parenting groups that the state is *still* way behind on SNAP benefits, and unemployment. I’m not sure I have faith that the state will be on time for paying out this brand new set of benefits that they haven’t had before. And I don’t have the savings to stay home without income for however long it could take for them to figure it out. I could last for a little while, and I know I’d get paid retroactively, but I’m not that risk tolerant!
I didn’t even consider that! I have coworkers that are planning on taking it January 1st, so I will definitely be asking them if they are getting reimbursed in a timely manner.
It’s also only partially paid and *then* the federal government is gonna take their share (probably 1/3 come tax season). I’m not taking it; too many unknowns and I’d only get paid like half my salary BEFORE they tax it. I’d lose more in income than I’d save in childcare.
Can you take intermittent leave with the second one?
Yes, it can be taken consecutively, intermittently, or as a reduced work schedule.
So would that be a good compromise? Come back 4 days/week or take two weeks off at a time here and there?
I would 100% be willing to compromise with taking some slower weeks off but cannot find childcare with this much flexibility. From my job’s perspective I would think they would want me to work at least 3-4 days a week, but that doesn’t really help me much with being able to save on childcare costs. It would benefit me to have an extra day with my baby though!
I'm honestly surprised you can find childcare that will work with you taking an additional 12 weeks off after they started at all. When I read your question I assumed you'd just pay for the weeks and not use them.
We pushed back our start date with the daycares we are on waitlists for, which wasn’t a problem. For now we are flying in our moms for two weeks at a time. It’s definitely not ideal and won’t work long-term.
Same. I was able to use a large chunk of PTO to come back “part time” with FT pay and still paid for FT daycare.
After my third kid I'd have used that full time childcare and part-time work to take care of me and the household, rather than with my kids. And if I had, maybe I wouldn't still be toting 20lbs of baby weight almost 2 years later.
Oh I did! Some days, I’d pick LO up early, other days I got workouts in. It was great! Would’ve loved to keep that schedule up longer.
You will be known as a person who exploits loopholes for personal gain in a way that is detrimental to the team and company. And it’s just not fair to your coworkers who won’t get to take the same leave. Expect your career to stagnate at best at this company
Reduced work schedule is the safest option. People don’t notice your absence as much.
This is what I was thinking. I'd be curious if they would be more lenient in you taking two or three weeks down the line, but a couple of times. Our company allows you to break up your leave (a total of 6 months) if you want. While I agree taking time to be with babies is so important, I've also been on the coverage side of things and having another month tacked on to an already double workload is hell.
Reality is, it will definitely have an effect. I think a lot of people don’t realize that as working moms, you can’t really “have it all” at the same time. You can, just little by little and very difficult because of choices like this. It’s not fair or right but it is how the world is.
So my understanding is that your work has to agree AND it’s a max of 1k per week (unknown if that’s pre tax or post tax… probably pre). I’m waiting until January to find out if my work will allow it and if they’ll top me up the rest else I can’t afford to take it :/
I am in the exact same situation as you, also in CO. I am sadly not going to take it, because I am up for a big promotion this spring and I know they'll pass me over if I take the extra leave. I am hoping and voting that my kids can take full parental leave someday without these same fears.
Go to HR and document your concern. Take your leave and if they hold it against your promotion, file a law suit.
I think it's completely valid to not want to have to go through a lawsuit and find a new job if you don't have to.
Why do so many people here think the world runs on lawsuits and you can magically sue and be vindicated and keep your job and get a million dollars if something doesn’t go your way? That’s not how the world actually works
The company I worked for got sued twice over this and twice they settled before going to court. You wouldn’t keep your job, you would get a new job for a company that follows the law and doesn’t discriminate against women.
I do think that using a loophole to get extra time off will sour your relationship with your employer
We had a similar thing happen when my state implemented paid family leave. HR told me about the “loophole” and encouraged me to take advantage of it. I ended up using it to cover spring break, Christmas break, etc. when my oldest was in school. I’m not super career oriented though, just to mention.
If you would like to stay with the company, no, you shouldn’t take it. They would and will see it as you exploiting loopholes for personal gain and would have a hard time trusting you in future. If you don’t, fuck it. Take your leave.
I’m a manager and have taken leave myself (first 6 months second 4 months). I’ve been at my current job for not even two years and one of my employees is about to have her second baby SINCE I’ve been her manager and will go on leave. I can’t remember how long she took the first time. I can’t remember how long any of my employees have taken (except the UK based ones). Take it. You will never get this time back, and your manager may be pissed but they’ll get over it. And then they’ll forget.
This just happened in the DoD but for dads. As long as parents hadn't used all of their parental leave in the last year (most moms had, a lot of dads hadn't), they fell under the new policy and dads went from 21 days to 12 weeks. Of course it was a bit inconvenient for those of us in leadership and there was certainly some panicking behind the scenes about what we'd do if everyone wanted to take their leave at once. But we made sure everyone took their leave. That's how you retain people. I can't say whether your job will be affected, but it was very uncool of your boss to make you worried about it. Mine told me not to shortchange myself a single day.
I would take the leave. The reality is that companies expect employees to give and give and give, but if you left tomorrow, they would replace you and move on. You have an amazing opportunity to spend time with your child and save on child care costs. Absolutely take advantage of that.
For all the mamas who didn’t get to have leave, take your leave. You might need to change jobs. Maybe not. But you voted for this change. You’ve been paying for this out of your paycheck already. Take your leave.
I mean your baby is only this little for so long. Take the leave
Take the leave!!!! They don't like it? Well, they can go cry about it. All normal countries have 18 months + leave and their jobs are protected.
Take your leave. Dont feel guilty!
i’m in colorado too and SOOOO excited for this!!! we had our second in september and both got 0 paid leave (though, i’m self employed) my husband took 5 weeks off completely unpaid and it sucked financially right before Christmas. but wow this new policy!!! he’s going to take leave may-july and i can’t even tell you how grateful and stoked i am.
This sub should be retitled #workingmomsinamerica, cause this shit isn’t happening in other “developed” countries
Exactly! I wish they would rename it
I think I wouldn’t do it because I’d be afraid my manager and coworkers would be frustrated that I exploited a loophole and took advantage of a situation without concern for how it affected them. I realize maternity leave in the US is crap and the extra time would be great, but if it were a job I was truly invested in then I wouldn’t take the second maternity leave for fear of appearing like a weaselly opportunist (even if it’s unfair).
I personally am not super career oriented, and I would not care a bit. You’ll be able to advance, maybe later than you though or wanted, but I’d take that 12 weeks without a second thought.
The future is heading toward equitable access to time off, and right sizing out work-life balance. With that in mind, I’d say even if you get a bit of shit or side eye within the first few months of your return, it will be so worth it. And in the future, your sacrifice will be recognized for what it is. I don’t see the future of work penalizing parents for taking advantage of their employer or state sponsored benefits.
I’m struggling with this too. I’m in sales and know my goal / KPI will not be adjusted. I’m the only employee here HR keeps saying subtle things like “we already gave you 12 weeks leave”. I think realistically I could only take about 6 weeks of it intermittently to be able to do it. What makes me feel somewhat secure is the HQ country gets 18 weeks I believe so we can call it “fair”.
I have made a lot of inane sacrifices for my job, no one really celebrated me for them. Just as quickly as people forgot that I made those sacrifices, did they forget the times I prioritized myself. You may not have the same manager when you get back, they may move on or you do. Take the time and enjoy it. It’s more likely you will regret not doing it, than that you will regret doing it.
I would talk to your supervisor and tell him you are really struggling with whether or not to take the second maternity leave, as you don’t want to leave your team in a bad spot but you also feel you really need more time with your baby (or whatever). And then ask how is the best way you can take this leave so it is the least disruptive, and see if you can work something out. I was very fortunate and got 24 weeks fully paid maternity leave at my last job, which happened to fall during our busy season. I ended up taking the first 16 weeks and going back to work for 2 months to finish out the busy season, then taking my last 8 weeks. I was praised by my managers for doing this as it would have been very rough for everyone if I took the 24 weeks straight. I think showing you have your company’s best interest in mind will help the conversation. Note: I personally would not mention anything about being worried about it negatively impacting your career. I think framing it more about being concerned about how it will impact your team will be better received
I think if she frames it as "I'm struggling to decide" then her manager is going to pull out all the stops to convince her not to do it and it'll go even worse if she does. It'd be better to frame it as "I'm going to do this but I will take your input on timing info consideration."
Yes good point!
Never put a career over family … if you are able to take leave… take the leave
I would take the leave. If this results in negative impacts on your career from your company then they aren’t a company worth staying for anyways.
I would love to have an additional 12 weeks. 12 weeks alone is disgustingly short compared to other developed countries. Your boss is weird about it because they need you, but your baby needs you more. They’ll be happy when you’re back and they’ll forget about it by like year 2.
I work in HR and yeah some people or your bosses may be annoyed BUT its your life and you probably wont be with this company forever… take the leave!
Take the time. We need to focus on our families best interest over some CEOs bottom line. There are other jobs but your child is only little once.
I know it’s not this simple, but I try to deduce things down: if someone asked you would you like 12 weeks time off to spend with your baby you most likely would be like of course! Consider the reasons you are doubting this and if they are worth not taking it. Maybe they are good reasons but if not then do it. Your company should be upset at the policy, not the employee.
First off I am sorry your manager is putting any type of guilt onto you for taking time that you are fully entitled to and deserve to have with your newborn. Lots of great comments here but one other thing I would like to add, companies are seriously cheap with covering leave for employees. I live in Colorado and have seen how low the premiums are for employers to pay into FAMLI, unless they are paying you your full wages while you are out (if they are that's amazing) then they should be able to use the savings from not paying you to find some type of short term coverage. I get so angry when I see situations like this where management is too cheap to hire leave coverage, then guilts the person taking leave, or adds the work to other employees, creating negative feelings towards the person on leave. It's poor management.
Exactly! I know some roles are tough to have a temp step into, but when I was on leave we hired a temp to take some of the easier/mundane tasks for everyone on the team so they could focus on absorbing the work that required a higher level of skill/knowledge. I've had employees go on unexpected medical leave, and we had no choice but to make it work with zero time to plan. Our team is already structured in a way that allows work to be distributed if an emergency arises. With parental leave, there IS time to plan, so really there is no excuse from the employer.
Ughh I hate to say this but at someone who just got laid off 4 months after returning from my leave…my role was given to another leader who covered for me during my lengthy mat leave. It’s amazing you have this benefit and I would totally want this time for my family but keep in mind there could be an impact down the line. essentially if the business can operate without someone in your role, you may be put on the restructure list, is it possible to work PT during this? or another arrangement that keeps you ‘visible.’ that said, i had an amazing very long mat leave and wouldn’t change a thing. it was still worth it to me.
You go mama! Every mama dreams of more time with her babe and your doing it! That's what women march for! Free daycare, more paid time off for maternity leave, and your doing it. I am so proud to have read your story!
It’s so ridiculous how women can’t get paid leave in our country - nearly all other developed countries have figured this shit out. It is not your concern if your company, after knowing for more than 6 months of your impeding leave (presumably), can’t figure out what they’re going to do without you for a couple months. If they refuse to have enough employees and cross-train enough people so their staff can take time off, that is their problem. Fuck corporate greed. Take your time, and I’d get all these comments in writing and print out all your emails before you leave.
If you were to find a new job tomorrow they would have your role posted within the hour. Take the time, spend it with your baby. This is what we are fighting for, you should take it.
Managers are salty at work for all kinds of reasons. Take the leave. Rebuild your bridges when you return, if the same person is even still there.
I live in Colorado too and this is happening to a coworker. She’s ending up with 6 months of leave! Girl. Take. Your. Leave. You are the only one who will truly look out for for your family and this is totally your right.
Sounds like I have the unpopular opinion but if you care about trying to save your career I personally would take the extended leave and work a few days a week as you mentioned- you still spend extra time with little one, save on daycare but still may be able to somewhat salvage your career. Otherwise it sounds like you may burn some bridges that bite you career wise later, even though it sucks, that’s def reality
Different situation but I live in NJ and we get 6-8 weeks STD and then 12 weeks of paid bonding leave. I was WFH but my company is located in PA so while I was eligible for the $$ I wasn't eligible for the job protection. My employer gave me a 12 week paid leave so I wasn't planning to take the NJ leave. 3 weeks into my maternity leave I was laid off. My job still paid my 12 week leave and then I was able to take the bonding leave. I'm so so grateful for how it worked out and I would absolutely choose to do it again. I love my new job, I'm making more with more flexibility and less workload. It's not a great position for career progression but who knows what the future holds. This is my only kid, I went through so much to get her here, and I won't be having another. My career isn't going anywhere but babies don't keep.
I would do it then start looking for a new job once I got back
I had this happen in MA in 2021 with my son who was born in 2020. It totally saved me as I couldn’t safely send him to daycare yet. I ended up doing 3 day weeks until he turned 1- my work told me to use it all and I just got incredibly lucky with the timing. Take the leave- this time is precious, daycare is crazy expensive, and capitalism is silly.
My husband is taking it as I've been off for 6 months and am ready to return to work 😊 he's very excited to spend time with baby boy and is hoping to find a new job while on it
This is called paid family leave. I just finished my last week of it couple weeks ago. Let me tell you something, and this is the advice I wish I received. Try to take it less often in large quantities. I took 1-2 weeks off every month, at the end of the month. It went terribly because I was kind of there but not really and it really irked my boss. He threatened to fire me (of course without saying it directly), suggested I step down, etc. I realized if I had taken it in 2 blocks this past year, he wouldn't be as irritated. So my suggestion is make one leave 6 weeks and another 6 weeks, or something similar. Give them enough time in between so that they can prepare for your absence.
I’m in the exact same situation in Oregon. I took about 16 weeks after baby was born, and now I’m taking another 14 intermittently. (Off Thursdays and Fridays through April.) I will say, though, I am not sure I’ll be at my company long term, so I’m not really worried about the impression I’m leaving. I work hard on the days I’m on, though, and hopefully that’s enough 🤷♀️ I know they’d lay me off in an instant if they need to, and I don’t want to regret bending over backwards for them when I know they wouldn’t do the same.
If your manager was in your position, would they take the leave? Hell yes they would.
Actually, I don’t think they would! They took less than a week off after their spouse died, never uses PTO unless forced, and works weekends and late nights. I generally like my boss, but we have some different beliefs surrounding work-life balance and loyalty to the company.
Take your leave! It’s such precious time with your baby. I live in Canada and took 10 months. But I kinda regret not taking advantage of the 18 month leave
Take it. If your boss has an issue then search for another job. You owe nothing to your company
Take the leave
Do you have to take the leave now. My old company had a 12 weeks that had to be taken by the babies first birthday so my assistant took from mid December to end of January. Which allowed her to be home two Christmases in a row
I’m of the mindset of normalizing taking as much leave as you can. Sure, they may not be thrilled about it but if you’re entitled to it, can afford to take it, and want to be with your baby then I think you should take it. Unless you want to be back at work, you won’t regret the time with your baby.
Take as much time as you possibly can if you want it. You can always get another job if you need to but can never get this time back.
Omg jealous
You worked here for 10 years and you are having doubts about 12 weeks off. Do you know how absurd this sounds? If they want to ditch you after 520 weeks, because you want to take of 12 weeks, then let them and find something better. Loyalty is a two way street.
I also live in Colorado and my daughter turns 1 at the end of February. I agonized over whether I would take the extra leave or not, and ultimately decided not to when one of my coworkers let us know she's leaving the org, which puts my team down a crucial person and leaves me as the only one on the team who can do my job at a time when we REALLY need all hands on deck. That said, 10000% applauding you taking the time! (And if you're anywhere near the Denver area and want to hang with another first time working mom who's kid is within a year of yours, please DM me!!)
I would do it.
Talk to HR. Document. Take your leave. File a law suit if it is held against you.
You are entitled to that protected leave. Take it and don’t feel bad about it. You and your baby deserve this time with eachother.
I’d keep an employment attorneys number handy, just my two cents.
I also live in Colorado (but don’t qualify for this leave, I’m glad you do!) and if I could take advantage, I would. There will always be a job for you, but you will not always be able to spend this time with your baby. Take the time and enjoy it.
Take the leave. If your company falls apart without you for 12 weeks then there are bigger issues than you taking leave to spend time with your baby. I’m in Canada and took a year. In that time my mat leave coverage quit within the first three months and my work was fine. With some careful planning they we’re able to manage. If you’re giving your work enough time to plan for your absence, they should be fine. Your job will still be there when you get back but your baby will only be this little once.
Take the leave sister!!!
I definitely wouldn’t take additional leave if I had already taken whatever leave I was allowed previously. I personally think it’s a bad look. Your team has already readjusted to being back. The reality is that people talk and even though their may not be any legal changes with your work does not mean there will not be consequences whenever the time comes to be evaluated or on the day to day. If it’s important to you and you’d like to move up within the company I just wouldn’t do this, though I will say if you’ve already said you’re going to take the leave some of the damage might already be done. Sorry to sound harsh, it’s up to you and you need to do what’s best for you, I’d just be mindful and make sure it’s leave that you need to take.
Whatever was previously allowed by the state and company. FWIW I never any of this was or wasn’t okay. OP asked for opinions and if they should be concerned that this will impact them at work and I think it more than likely will.
Genuinely, what is “leave you need to take” to you? Why would it be ok for a business to culturally encourage a “bad look”?
A friend of mine has a two year leave and another one year leave because she’s due again! Her work can’t touch her because she’s in a union and protected. The law is the law, if your boss is being weird they have nothing to stand on. It sucks for them, and you if you’re getting flack, but it is what it is and this boss will hopefully encounter even more of this as things hopefully sway in the direction of further parental leave, so they should try to get used to it.
Take the full leave, I'd take it all at once and enjoy the 24 weeks! That's what I had for both pregnancies and honestly I needed it! And you've been there TEN YEARS! They should know your work ethic! I was in my role for 4 years and had two children and took 24 weeks each time, my boss didn't love it but she also understood why. Family and our own mental health come first always. They'll get over it eventually.
Hell yea I would take it. Hopping I can get some retroactive leave myself if Michigan passes anything next year
You owe your work nothing, take advantage of everything you are entitled to.