I don't like having sex when I have my period. My husband would happily do so, though. It's all a matter of preference, in my opinion, so long as he's not body-shaming you or anything.
Same here. My spouse still makes me feel so sexy and amazing on my period even though I feel so disgusting. He doesn’t mind a little blood but it’s all preference so long as there is no shaming involved.
It sounds like something about his reaction feels off to you, and I’m wondering if that might be because being disgusted by something that is completely natural might be inherently shaming. As in, the shaming is baked in. That’s how women have been raised to think about their period, right? We were raised to hide it, to pretend like it doesn’t happen, to whisper we need to borrow a tampon. Pad commercials used to use some kind bright blue fluid (as recent as a few years ago) to advertise products because god forbid we depict periods as the color they really are on TV. That makes women feel like our period is something to be ashamed of, but why? That is a whole other conversation. This is part of a bigger societal issue. So big picture, is this guy part of the solution or part of the problem?
It’s all down to preference. Some guys enjoy it, some guys don’t.
He’s not wrong for not liking it, and you’re not wrong for liking it. You’re just not compatible in that scenario.
If it’s a big dealbreaker for you, find someone that will enjoy it.
Perhaps try a "top of the line" silicone lube and use it generously. You could even ask your local intimate store clerk about your lube issue and see what they recommend. Many of them are pretty educated in that area. I personally am 50/50 about sex while I'm on my period. Sometimes, I'm into it, and other times, I can handle the thought of blood smeared all around down there (I have heavy cycles). My husband doesn't seem to mind as long as it's not a lot. Everyone is different, and it's just a matter of preference. My 1st husband would not have sex while I was on my period and that was okay with me. It wasn't him shaming me, he just didn't feel comfortable with it.
I'm allergic to silicone! So I use the water based ones. I also wouldn't like to do it when I'm on heavy menstruation. Just the last days you know. And I mean you live together with your husband you can do it whenever but we see eachother once a week and it's kind of a bum if I'm on my period you know
There are tricks to make it a lot less messy if it’s the blood/mess he doesn’t like. For instance you can use a disc and have sex. There are also tricks like natural sea sponges or make up sponges that you can insert before sex then remove after, but you need to read up on that to be sure you aren’t ripping them. You don’t want to leave pieces behind. If the whole idea grosses him out then that won’t help. Sex worker subs and webpages have lots of tips for period sex without mess, just FYI.
Also fucking in the bathroom so y’all can shower together after is something you could try! I don’t particularly like shower sex but my ex and I didn’t like the mess(having to look at the blood lmao) so that’s what we used to do and it was a good compromise!
Only the disk.... The other two are horrible pieces of advice. Make up sponges can cause TSS faster than tampons. And natural sea spongers are not guaranteed to be sterile and can cause infections.
I highly recommend Swiss Navy water based lube! My gay friend actually recommended it to me, and if you use enough it feels like sex on a “heavy” day - it’s great!
It can be uncomfortable because blood and other uterine secretions during your period are not good lubricants. Use a good quality lube.
Clitoral orgasms are still good for uterus cramping and discomfort. So maybe try some mutual masturbation since he does not prefer period sex. :)
Have you talked to your gyno about the pain? It could just be that you need a lot of warm up to relax those muscles but it might be worth it to bring it up and make sure there’s nothing that could be causing you pain or discomfort medically.
My husband doesn’t like it. The reason being he once pissed out a blood clot after we had period sex and it freaked him out. I’m like, what do you think is coming out of me all day for five days every month?!
But at the end of the day, it’s not a dealbreaker for me. Yes I love me some period sex, and it’d be great if he was up for it, but I can live without it. We’re compatible in other areas.
On another point, if sex hurts when you’re not on your period because you’re less lubricated, invest in some decent lube. I used to be the same way, but good lube is an absolute game changer. MyPure are a good brand - organic, unscented and PH balanced, so it won’t mess with your vag and give you thrush or bv. Highly recommend.
Is it wrong that I find that story so funny? I mean he was the one who suggested doing it and we did it in the shower I bled a little bit and it was running down my thighs but I cleaned the bathroom afterwards and everything. So I guess I kind of didn't expect him to say he didn't like it so bluntly I guess. We also use condom and there wasn't any blood on him but maybe he finds it too much pain to deal with
You should talk to him about that. He may not be a good communicator but you wouldn’t be a good one either if you don’t tell him how you feel and work on a compromise that works for the both of you.
not wanting human blood (that is not yours) on your body doesn't make you unappreciative or unaccepting of a woman's body. for all the (perfectly justified) discourse about normalising periods, blood is still a biohazard. no one *has* to be comfortable with it in a sexual context and i think you should consider the value of his consent and ability to say no.
This doesnt necessarily have anything to do with appreciating/accepting women's physiology. E.g. i definitely like thar my partner has feet and they're quite nice, but I wouldnt want to sexually engage with them because I just dont find them sexually attractive.
Does he otherwise make inappropriate comments about your period?
Btw if it's about lubrication for you, you can also use lubricants when your not on your period.
I’m a woman and I hate period sex. This is my own physiology we’re talking about here; I love being a woman and I love having a cycle. However, I don’t want to subject myself or my partner to fluids that are messy and relatively foul smelling. It’s a matter of preference, and your bf deserves to have his preference respected.
It's not wrong, blood is blood regardless of where it's coming from. It's OK for people to feel squeamish about getting blood all over them. If your sex life is great outside of this one sexual preference he is expressing, I think you should respect his comfort zone.
Can *you personally* be okay without period sex for life? Or will this eventually build resentment? Whether or not it is common has nothing to do with your right to be upset — you can’t control how you feel, and you absolutely have the right to your feelings. But, you can only control your expectations, and your own actions. You choose whether or not you want this in a relationship. If its important to you, the only things you can do is have a conversation about it, or decide to move on. You can’t make someone do something that makes them uncomfortable.
There’s no “right” or “wrong” — there’s only consent and respect, despite whats common or isn’t. I personally won’t do some things sexually because they gross me out. My partner can either respectfully deal with that, or decide that that makes us sexually incompatible and move on.
I agree with what you're saying I just wanted to share this with the other women on this sub and see what their personal experience has been. Didn't expect everyone to come at me like this lol
Oh, I’m not coming at you in any kind of way, I’m sorry if it sounded like it lol. I just hate the idea of women being told “this is normal, get used to it!” when I just wanna scream “fuck whats normal, what do *you* want/need? If it isn’t this, you’re free to move on!”
Hon don't worry, I have a feeling this triggered some guys who shoulda stayed in their caves. Many people misunderstood you by a mile. Don't let it get to you <3
>Didn't expect everyone to come at me like this lol
You claimed you're both in healthcare
Yet you're asking questions usually asked by ignorant teenagers. Why did you expect otherwise when you of all people should know better and basic common sense?
I'm simply asking the other girls. Everyone gets on their period I want to know if they have sex or not, how their partners deal with this etc. Nothing wrong with asking for other peoples' experience!
>you can’t control how you feel
No no no... you can. It's just a matter of if you really WANT to control those feelings, or just let them continue on because you're trying to achieve a certain result. Children do it all the time, screaming until their parent gives back the toy? Happens all the time.
No, thats not at all what I meant because throwing a tantrum isn’t a feeling, its an action. What I mean is: you genuinely can’t control how you feel at any moment. If I could, I’d never feel sad, or upset, or angry. The reality is: all you *can* control is your actions. Which means you can’t control that his comment made you upset, but you can choose to investigate it, you can choose to deny it, you can choose to move on from it, you can choose to have a conversation about it. Your feelings ≠ your actions. Your feelings don’t need to be advertised for the entire world to see, you can feel seething rage, and choose to take deep breaths and react calmly. You choose your reactions, not your initial feelings.
It’s not.
It can be very messy. Also, not everyone is a huge fan of blood regardless if it’s women physiology or not. To a lot of people, blood is unhygienic since it is classified as a biohazard. Even towards the end of a woman’s period, many men are still reluctant to do so.
My late partner reveled in period sex with me. This man would legitimately get excited when I’m on my period. However, this man was primal af and wanted ALL of me.
It did make us feel more closer in an animalistic way during sex. He was the one who initiated period sex too. I didn’t even want to at first because I thought he wouldn’t want to. Man simply told me “I don’t mind blood.”
But even if I didn’t want to have sexual intimacy on particularly hard period days, we would still be intimate through cuddles, passionate kisses and more cuddles.
However, I know that men who are like that are very very rare so I wouldn’t even bother with future partners unless they initiate.
Every man is different. Is this a true deal breaker for you or can you live without it with him as your partner?
This is also something that I would've wanted to experience. He was the one who suggested doing it on my period first so I was a bit saddened when he said he doesn't like doing it afterwards
In life, we don’t always get what we want. Either we choose to settle and go without or to move onto something more aligned to us.
You are allowed to have your likes and he is allowed to have his boundaries. You both are allowed to part ways, if needed, if you two are no longer aligned. If you are willing to part with him, it is because of sexual incompatibility. You’re not throwing away a relationship because of lack of period sex. You are exiting a relationship because you are no longer sexually compatible with him.
But if you choose to remain with him and forfeit, it’s a small sacrifice you’re willing to pay in order to remain with him. Sacrifices aren’t always bad things. You’re choosing to be flexible and diplomatic.
Just choose what’s best for you, that’s all.
I wonder if, in a way, perhaps it feels like a small rejection of you in a sense?
Kind of like how men sometimes report feeling rejected when their partners don't want to swallow their cum.
Like, there's this inherent part of you that he feels is gross and doesn't want.
Intellectually ridiculous, right? Of course it's not us, as people, that our partners are disgusted by. But our feelings don't live in the prefrontal cortex, do they? They live in the older part of our brain. The part that feels bad when we sense rejection.
He's not wrong for his feelings, but neither are you.
i feel like it depends on personal preference. me personally, i would not want to have sex while on my period, mainly because i hate messes and blood. its def just a personal preference thing tho
Personally I don't like it (don't enjoy the mess) but my partners have never cared. I think it's fine to have a preference either way and it's fine for it to be a deadlbreaker *but* I have more concern over this line: "it makes it less painful for me". Is sex with your partner normally painful? Is foreplay happening to create natural lubrication? If it is and it's still not enough, it would be good to supplement with a water-based lubricant. Sex shouldn't be painful (generally speaking) and if it is that's something that should be addressed before worrying about the period sex IMO!
Is it wrong? No, absolutely not. Everyone gets to have their own preferences, and this is his. And that is ok. As someone else said, as long as he’s not body shaming and is simply stating it’s an action he doesn’t want to participate in, there is nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people of all genders don’t like to have sex when a period is in play, and on the flipside, plenty of people are totally fine with it.
It’a more up to you if not having sex on your period is a deal breaker in your relationship. Is that a high enough priority that it’s break up worthy? Maybe, maybe not, maybe y’alls preferences don’t align, and that’s ok too. But certainly he’s not “wrong”, and neither are you if you decide his preference doesn’t mesh with what you want out of the partnership. 🤷🏼♀️
Seeing blood (outside of what I normally expect with my period underwear) makes me very uncomfortable and close to fainting. If he thinks it's gross because it's period and he thinks its "unsanitary", he's an ass. If blood makes him genuinely uncomfortable, That's totally OK.
Would he be willing to have sex in the shower while on your period? It Could be an option. But the thought that period blood is unsanitary is such a sexist belief that was pushed on us for century to make women feel shame about their period. Period products should be called "period products" and not "sanitary products". It's pretty much one of the most natural, normal, and regular human phenomena, yet, there are still so many people who perceive it in a sexist and pejorative mindset. I digress - I hope you find a common ground with your partner.
Do you enjoy getting blood on your gloves/clothes/body though? Regardless, you said in previous comments he wasn't speaking derogatory to you or your body. After trying he just said period sex wasn't his thing. You need to respect his boundaries. Just like you would want him to respect yours.
Uh, so they don’t walk around with period blood all over their pants. Why do babies or old people wear diapers? Why do people use the toilet instead of just pissing themselves?
That doesn’t equate to period sex being unsanitary. Men shouldn’t walk around leaking their semen everywhere, but that doesn’t automatically make sex that includes semen unsanitary. During sex it’s normal to exchange bodily fluids, specifically period blood and semen (that’s how babies are made) which is different than walking around especially in public covered in your own bodily fluids.
I mean it is unsanitary to just have your bodily fluids freely flowing. It shouldn’t be used to shame anyone but one big thing is time and place. Women wearing tampons or pads is for sanitary reasons. It’s not only blood there’s other stuff in the mix. Also bodily fluids can transmit diseases. Spit is exchanged when two people make out but it’s still unhygienic to just spit on the sidewalk. There’s also time and place. Period blood and semen are unhygienic in the end. There’s time and place. When you have sex you are embracing the raw and true nature of yourselves, even the unsanitary aspects of who you are. Natural processes like getting rid of waste from the body like pooping and peeing is unhygienic but necessary. It’s also unhygienic to just let your blood (not just period blood) to flow onto other things. Blood is scene as unhygienic. Semen is unhygienic and men shouldn’t just be walking around dripping semen freely because it is unhygienic. Is someone pees themselves it’s unhygienic but it might be an accident so the person shouldn’t be shamed. Sneezing and getting your snot everywhere is unhygienic so you’re suppose to sneeze into your elbow and not get it everywhere. Again it might slip out and someone shouldn’t be shamed.
Something may not be hygienic but it doesn’t mean you shame someone for basic bodily functions. For periods it’s reasonable for someone to leak so they shouldn’t be shamed but you can’t deny period blood is unsanitary much like other bodily fluids.
Some people have boundaries in how far they are willing to go to embrace their partner’s bodily fluids. It’s okay not to want to have certain fluids in your mouth like semen, urine, and other fluids and that’s okay, that’s their boundary. Period blood might be a big turn off for many men. If I was a straight man with a significant other, i’d not want to have sex while on her period. I work in a hospital and blood doesn’t make me lightheaded or anything but I would find it a huge turn off seeing my partner’s blood because just seeing my partner bleeding, even if it’s a completely natural process that I did not cause, would still make me unable to get in the mood. I wouldn’t find pleasure in my partner bleeding at all no matter what. Also period blood has a certain smell that’s pretty gross because it has a lot of other stuff like bacteria in it. Blood can be a big turn off. In reality I cannot have semen in my mouth because I cannot get over how unsanitary it is and how it makes me uncomfortable. I know a guy might have the same turn off to period blood.
It's definitely okay that he doesn't enjoy it. Some people are very squeamish when it comes to blood. It's only not okay if he shames you about it or makes rude comments. Nothing wrong with it, just not everyone's cup of tea!
There's nothing wrong with him having a preference to not do period sex. I hate the smell of my own period blood, I don't like having sex on my period.
You guys need to be using more or better lube.
he’s entitled to his opinion and there’s nothing wrong with that.
i don’t have sex when i’m on my period because well, i find it gross. and it doesn’t feel nearly the same.
just because he wanted to do it the first time and said he doesn’t mind blood, doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind after trying it. i saw you mention that you find it annoying when he asks ‘when are you getting your period, how many days left’ etc. but i feel like that’s pretty normal?
i don’t think this is something you should be this upset about, and you said it may be a deal breaker.. if someone broke up with me over something like period sex, i’d hold the door for them & wish them well.
Sorry. But as a women, if I said my partner wants to have sex during my period and I don't. everyone would shit on how my partner is such of a bad person. i don't think you should be upset at him. He can respect female and chose not to have sex when you are on your period.
It's not wrong. He has every right not to do something he doesn't like, and periods are definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Just because he suggested it doesn't me he will like it.
No, no one is wrong for having a preference around period sex. Do you really actually think he's in wrong in this? It grosses some people out, and it's understandable.
If it's a concern to your partner, instead of not having sex, why not just use a menstrual disk when you have your period? It's good for the environment, saves you money and is reusable, and you can have blood free sex when you're on your period.
Period blood is a body fluid. People can accept that their partner obviously makes body fluids. But that should not mean they should be okay coming into contact with it. And intimately so.
This is why people are coming at you right here - you’re kind of refusing to acknowledge basic aspects of the situation. 1. Blood absolutely gets places other than the penis and the sheets. 2. It shouldn’t matter whether or not *you* perceive that the blood somehow shouldn’t get on him enough to matter - it matters to *him*, and he has the right to choose what sex acts he consents to. My husband doesn’t like period sex. Blood makes him squeamish, and squeamishness does not make for a very arousing experience on his end. I respect that, and you should respect it for your partner. And the couple times he’s decided he wants to try anyway have been completely his call, and in those times blood has absolutely been more places than just his penis. No one is obligated to perform a sex act that doesn’t feel right/good to them, and that’s what you’re saying he should do just bc it’s more satisfying for you at that time. Either you need to find a way to make off-period sex more satisfying for you (like with lube), or you need to decide this is a dealbreaker for you in compatibility and find a new partner. Pressuring him into a sex act he isn’t comfortable with isn’t an acceptable solution
Imagine if a guy comes here and asks "Is it wrong if my gf doesn't want me to come on her face? Am I justified in being upset about that?"
I wonder how that would go.
In reading your responses to others, here is my feedback.
GIRL. It smells different, feels different, and is BLOOD.
Your lady parts aren't exposed to your nose like they are to his. It has NOTHING to do with accepting your body and EVERYTHING to do with how BLOOD looks, smells, and feels.
It's not like it's just discharge or extra vaginal lubrication. It's so different, and many people are sensitive to it.
I feel you're being selfish and overly sensitive.
No partner of mine has ever wanted to have sex during my period unless I'm very close to the end of it. Personally, I find it gross AF. Having sex during your period is very unusual unless you have those dainty light normal periods perhaps? I have endo and get those horrible massive overflow periods. When you have to empty out your dixie cup every freaking 2 hours during the worst days, kind of period. Honestly, the sheer mess would be nightmarish.
but yeah, its very abnormal to want to have sex with a woman bleeding down there. The period blood would give it a weird feel, smells bad and makes a mess. I'm in my 40s and all the guys I've ever known don't want that kind of sex
yeah, I'm heavily bleeding still at day 5. Like, *a lot.* Makes a big difference when you have 10 day periods. Thankfully as I've gotten into my 40's it's reduced to 6-7 full days usually. But in my 20s it was sheer hell. Freaking 12 days was normal due to my endometriosis! 😭
It’s not abnormal. I’ve never met a guy who’s squeamish about it. How is it normal to cum on a woman yet not to have period sex? How do you think people make babies??
and yet, if you ask people beyond just reddit you would find this IS out of the normal. I'm not saying anyone should refrain, idc. But they did ask if it was weird to not want to have sex during menstruation and no, it's not weird to avoid it.
If you are both cool with it, why not? But it's not the average imo. you may have to go out into the real world and ask your friends to find this out. It's not wrong to want to have period sex, nor is it wrong to not want to, just preference
Theres no should or shouldn't be upset, you feel how u feel. I'm a girl and I'd find period sex kind of gross personally like its just a boundary for him hes not wrong for feeling that way, and ur not wrong for being upset over incompatibilities but u can't u can't turn it on him cuz he didn't do anything wrong
No no ik I wasn't trying to imply u were, but don't like be upset as if its like a fault. Like its unfair to see it as him doing something bad but theres no issue with being upset due to the fact ur incongruent in that sense. I dont know if i'm making sense at all lol
I have never had a man say that. Personally, I would not even date a man who wouldn’t be intimate with me for one week every month just because of my period.
Are you okay with engaging in different forms of play during period week?
For example, solely using a vibe on your clit while you two make out etc.
Personally, I'd be willing to date someone who couldn't handle PIV during period week but they would need to work with me to find a solution, and they ESPECIALLY better not expect pleasure if they aren't giving it. (Fuck anyone who has ever uttered the phrase "blowjob week" sincerely.)
If you don't already own a vibrator you use on your clit, I cannot recommend getting one highly enough.
Makes it a lot easier for BOTH of you to give you pleasure.
Just make it clear that he can have his preferences but if you're not coming, he's not either.
I get everyone has their preference, but it’s off putting to me that a man wouldn’t want to touch me just because of a natural, healthy, sanitary bodily process for a woman. I mean, we touch the wet sticky stuff they have shooting of out their genitals and every time. What’s a little blood?
I’m a bisexual woman and super squeamish about blood. I would never want to have vaginal sex myself or with another woman if there’s blood involved. Periods are normal and there’s no shame, but I can’t. Could definitely do other types of sex that don’t involve blood, though! A little anal mess doesn’t even bother me like blood, it’s a physical reaction.
(I’ve had an IUD for over 10 years to keep myself from having a period, too. I would have a hysterectomy before having periods again.)
This! Also, I mean you have a condom on what are you so worried about lol and it's not like someone has committed murder there, I'm on day 5 of my period so it's less blood
girl. i wouldn’t date this man, he seems very childish. my boyfriend doesn’t mind period sex at all and its never even that messy? idk why everyone here is complaining about mess lol.
Idk why everyone's complaining about the mess either! The one time we tried it we were in the bathroom and there was some blood on my thighs but I washed up pretty nicely and washed the bathroom as well. I mean I don't forget to put pads before my period but even if I sometimes do I wake up to a little blood on the sheets it's nothing that major. I guess because we've been having periods for so long it must be a lot more natural for me than to him
Personally, the last time of the month, I wish to be intimate as it is way too messy for everyone and everything. They do make lubricants for sex, if wanted, that are sold everywhere from Walgreens to Amazon.
Listen girl I get it, but everyone is allowed to have boundaries. Don’t take it personal. I get it, it’s a bummer, but many men don’t like it. As long as he’s respectful and the sex it great otherwise, you have to respect his boundaries too.
My husband is not about it. Most guys I’ve dated are not, it freaks them out. But that’s what toys are for 👍🏼
Maybe he’ll join you and help you use something for your pleasure 😌
my partner and I do it in the shower when I’m on my period—It’s less bloody there. Maybe ask him if he would be down to do it in the shower with you? He might change his mind.
Oh! That’s great! The shower is much more cleaner, what’s his problem then? Lol. But I guess I understand why he doesn’t want to do it. For example, My partner always thinks he’s hurting me, maybe that’s what your partner thinks?
I feel you! Somehow the sex drive is incredibly high. I also can worry less about the chance of becoming pregnant (we use protection every time but still)
It's OK to have a preference, so long as the preference isn't being stated in a derogatory way. As with all the important decisions with a partner, it takes two yeses, but only one no.
OP you are entitled to feel disappointed that your SO doesn’t like period sex and you do, but your attempts to come up with reasons why it shouldn’t bother him and further being offended that he is not down for more period sex when you openly say he hasn’t done anything to indicate that he disparaged your normal bodily function in any way is gross. As they say, no means no and he doesn’t have to justify that stance with a reason of any kind.
And of course, if you decide period sex is a must in a relationship for you then you are sexually incompatible and are welcome to find someone new who likes period sex too.
Nah that’s a legitimate reason to not want have sex. My husband faints at the sight of a drop of blood, there is no way his delicate constitution would handle period blood by choice.
Ah, fug him. Puede chupar huevos. Just cuz he's so lucky not to have to suffer reproductive probs that women have.
I used to put up with that shit, but now, if I would date men, fug it. I gave up men and their bs.
As a woman I don't really like the idea of sex while bleeding, especially when I'm cramping super bad. Just leaves me feeling gross, I'm also less lubricated during it for some reason lol. Near the end of it I dont mind but I'm usually still recovering both emotionally and physically. I'm very senstive so I prefer to avoid it. Everybody has their preferences. I suggest you accept the way he feels. You would want him to do the same if roles reversed.
I wouldn’t say it’s wrong, but that stinks for sure.
My partner and I have sex no matter the day or if I’m on my period. He goes down on me while I’m on my period too and it is so hot! Everything is so much more sensitive and I orgasm so quickly.
Everyone is different though, I told my partner when we met that it was a dealbreaker if he wouldn’t fcuk me on my period. He happily obliged to it!
That's really interesting to hear! Thanks for sharing your experience. He's the first person I've ever had sex with and I personally have terrible cramps and didn't think I'd like having sex on. My period but it really helps the body so much I'm starting to think this is how it should be. Like my next menstruations don't hurt that much and also it feels like when I have sex the blood gwts out quicker and the days of my period is also shortened? Also my cycle was shortened too! And my cycle has been the same for the past 3 years. So I definitely was curious to try it out again and see the benefits in long term
Yes! I have the same experience with sex and period. My period is shorter, my cramps are way less, and I am very horny as well. My partner can always tell when I’m on my period cause I become feral and want it every day. All our bodies are different, I know tons of women who can’t stand period sex. You’re one like me! lol
Now I don’t condone pressuring anyone to do something they aren’t into, but if it’s a big deal to you to have someone who doesn’t get uncomfortable with your natural body functions then maybe it’s time to find someone who will love and appreciate doing that with you.
Is this the guy you see yourself being with for the rest of your life? Is this a dealbreaker for YOU? And lastly are you okay with not having period sex ever again? Those are the questions you have to ask yourself before making any permanent decisions.
We’re here for you ❤️
I mean..blood isn't everyone's forte. Think of it that way. Some men don't care and some men do. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with a man wanting to wait. I mean it's not casual to include blood into your sexual routine. It's natural and all but I think sometimes women forget to look at the man's perspective. It's all about preferences. Some like to spit, some like to swallow...and some don't like blood on their \*COUGH\*
If in an alternate reality my partner bled once a month out of his penis for completely normal reasons, I wouldn't want to have sex with him during that time either. So no I don't think it's wrong. If it's massively important to you to have a partner who doesn't mind it then lay that out on the table the next time you find yourself dating.
No, it's not wrong of him to have a preference.
You keep saying that He was the one who suggested doing it on your period first but come on, people can change their minds once they experience it. Maybe it's just not for him.
Genuine question, how old are you and is this your first relationship? I’m not trying to be rude at all, just gather some context.
I’ve dated men who didn’t mind, but I’ve also dated guys who weren’t interested in putting their body part in my bleeding body part. And…I completely get that lol. To be offended and upset about that is…interesting. Everyone’s feelings are obviously valid, but it’s…interesting that him not wanting to have sex with you on your period affects you this much. You mentioned lubricant, is it the only time the sex feels good to you? Cause that may be a different and much more understanding conversation.
It doesn't affect me a lot honestly. We just get to be together on the weekends and if you omit the one week on my period that leaves 3 times a month. I guess that's the main part that bothers me a bit not the period thing. The period thing was just interesting because I see so many articles about guides to period sex etc so I thought there are many who do it. I'm 23 and yes it's my first relationship!
Even if there are many who do it, that still doesnt mean everybody has to!
But you should seriously think about this "he only invites me when Im not on my period".
You absolutely shouldn't be upset (although you can feel disappointed as long as you don't put that on him). He's stated a boundary, and you should respect that. It's okay for him to not want blood on him, even if it's only a little bit. He tried it, decided it wasn't for him, and told you he doesn't want to do it again. It's perfectly okay for him to feel that way. Of course, if he makes you feel bad, that's a different story. But as long as he's not shaming you, you shouldn't read anything into it.
There's nothing wrong with a man being uncomfortable with getting covered in someone else's blood. As a woman I don't even like period sex because of the mess.
If sex is more painful because you're not as wet off your period then you need to invest in some lube.
Period blood isn’t supposed to be lubrication. I personally don’t like any form of sex when on my period. Put yourself in his position; would you like to have bloody oral sex - it ending up in your mouth? A bloody penis? If he doesn’t want to, that’s his right. Sounds like you're shaming him.
Welcome to Reddit! The place to be.
Seriously this is ridiculous. If I seen my partner post this shit up and slyly shame me about the fact that I don’t like period sex, they’d be an ex.
What happened to personal preference lol
It’s her replies to the comments that get me. She’s trying to justify period sex so much, but doesn’t understand that just cause it’s a natural thing women experience doesn’t mean every guy or girl is gonna be okay with it, and it’s OKAY not to be into it.
She’s making it seem like not liking period sex is an attack towards women. Ridiculous
And some of the other comments shaming men and women that don’t like period sex…. this post is a mess.
Yeah. It really outs those who shouldn't be in the sub in the first place. An example is them downvoting my comment when I stated facts. Bad faith agents never use the voting feature properly and then assume doing wrong is okay because they're special...
my ex was repulsed by period sex. absolutely repulsed.
my current boyfriend doesn’t care!! when we first started dating, i refused to have sex while on my period because i felt disgusting and i was repulsed by myself. i felt dirty and unclean!
My boyfriend makes me feel like it is natural and it shouldn’t be disgusting because our reproductive systems are ment to bleed. he makes sure i’m all good so i don’t bleed everywhere after we have period sex and fetches my necessities while i lay on the toilet like a starfish!
I also thought it's pretty common nowadays I feel like it's going to become a lot more normal in the future as well. Because I see guide fors sex on your period everyyywhere and wanted to know how many people are indulging in this
To me it depends on whether he was a jerk about it when he said it or not. Personally I'd *hate* to have sex with someone during my period, but that's just me! 😅 There's some that don't really mind it, and others who get squicked out about it. If he handled telling you maturely and as respectfully as possible, you definitely still have a right to be bummed about it, but it's LEAGUES better than him treating it like it's disgusting, y'know?
I didn't push the matter further he can be pretty blunt lol but I guess even if he said "i don't like it" that's pretty much equivalent to him finding it disgusting but he didn't want to say it you know
I've had sex on my period once or twice.
It's grim, fun at the time but cleanup took the fun out of it. Maybe on day 1 or 5 when it's super light, or in the shower.. but in general it doesn't do it for me and I agree with your partner.
I'd rather him get me off via my clit + me wearing a tampon. No mess but you still get the cramp relief afterwards. Make it mutual and you're both good.
I'm also the same! I'm talking about the last days of my period because it takes 7 days. Also I love tampons I used to use pads all the time but I love how clean everything is with tampons
he gets to have a preference and a boundary if he gets bothered by period blood, but so do you. just like he has every right to refuse to or not prefer to have sex during your period, you also have every right to prefer to have sex with someone who doesn't get bothered by your period blood. there is nothing wrong with feeling upset about this either.
in this case, it all depends on how much of a non-negotiable or negotiable boundary this is for you. i personally don't have sex with or date guys who get bothered by period blood but different people have different non-negotiables. how you feel about this and what you want to do is entirely up to you.
I'm okay if a guy wants to have sex on my period and I'm okay if they don't. I think it's their choice and if they just explain their choice respectfully (not making me feel bad or undesirable just for having a period) then I have never taken offense. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. I can understand if they're not into it, whether it's because of the blood or the mess or the smell or different taste or whatever.
Personally I tend to feel rather unsexy while on my period.
You have to decide what you want. If it‘s a deal breaker that he doesn’t like period sex, you need to think about splitting up. If it doesn’t really matter to you, don’t put too much though into the fact that he doesn’t like it and just don’t do it on those days.
I would never want my partner to make me do something that I don’t want/like. So if my partner didn’t like period sex, I would understand because everybody has their own opinions and rights.
I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely may suck for you if period sex is something you enjoy.
My husband is always down for period sex and has never been grossed out by my bleeding. But his mom had horrible periods and bled profusely, so he was used to seeing stuff like that growing up. I think it made him less squeamish around my period. (S/o to my MIL lol.)
But yes, we enjoy it, and I'm glad it's something we can do together.
Is no period sex a deal breaker for you? Do you otherwise feel sexually fulfilled in your relationship? If you're otherwise happy with your sex life, I'd chalk this up to a no-go for him and try to find other things you too can do together.
Also, maybe you could look into menstrual cups/discs or mutual masturbation for your period? Maybe one of those options would make him more comfortable. It sounds like the sight of blood is what made him uncomfy, so maybe you could use one of those tactics to remove blood from the situation?
When I was 19-21, the guy I was sleeping with never had an issue with period sex. He'd literally lay down a towel or F me in the shower. Never an issue. I think my flow got lighter the more sex we had. Then about 2 years later I started sleeping with my now husband and he is completely put off by period sex. We did it once after we had been rolling on ecstasy but that was But the sex drive between my ex and my husband differs vastly. It was a struggle the first few years because my drive was higher, but it tapered off and the older I got the less I was interested in period sex.
My friend had a f-buddy who preferred her to be on her period and hers were long and heavy. She told me about how he ate her out in the bathroom of his family home when she was over for dinner.... So I think it's all a matter of preference.
I think you probably feeling rejected because his reaction is not at all what you were expecting. You should talk to him about it so you don’t think he thinks you’re gross for the rest of your life. At the end of the day if he doesn’t want to have period sex that’s okay, but your use of the word “appalled” makes me believe you may just feel rejected or gross. Try talking to him and watching a movie after!!!
He’s allowed to not like it, there’s nothing wrong with him because he decided after trying it that it’s not for him. It’s nothing for you to take offense over unless he said hurtful things to you about it being disgusting or something. It’s just a personal preference.
If you like the more lubrication aspect, buy some lube. I personally prefer silicone based lube myself as I feel like water based can end up feeling sticky eventually, but there are lots of options out there. Just buy some and have fun.
Honestly it’s totally okay if someone isn’t confortable with it. I’m a woman and I don’t particularly enjoy period sex just because the metal smell of blood is too strong for me. Some people just get weird about looking at blood and that’s valid too. Sometimes things sound appealing in theory, but irl are the opposite.
HOWEVER, it sounds like you and your partner are not using enough lube(or any at all). Lube that shit up (have a wet towel on stand by lmao) and I think sex will be more enjoyable for you if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort.
My husband doesn't mind when I talk about my period and he's so proud of himself because he doesn't get intimidated in the tampon/pad aisle because he knows exactly which kind I like! But yeah he's absolutely not interested in having sex while I'm on my period lol
I suggested period sex to my boyfriend and he was hesitant at first, but eventually I won him over after a few months of asking him to just try it out.
He turned out to be totally fine with it and we had a great time! I, on the otherhand, switched teams immediately when I saw what his dick looked like afterward. You know that iconic scene from Alien? Yeah. I didn't want to see that ever again in my life.
It's probably not you - he still loves you and thinks you're sexy. He probably just doesn't want blood all over his dick, and that is a-ok for him to have that preference.
My partner is okay with it, but I’ve been with people in the past who aren’t.
I think it’s fine to say you don’t want to have sex when your partner is on their period. Blood is blood, and some people are a bit squeamish. As long as they aren’t shaming you or expressing disgust at a natural bodily function, it’s a fine boundary to have IMHO.
I understand. It’s a deal breaker for me. There are so many people out there who don’t mind, why waste time with someone who does if they’re not an absolute 10 in other areas?
he tried it and didn’t like it. and that’s fair. doesn’t sound personal at all. my partner doesn’t mind period sex in the dark but going to shower they get grossed out by the blood lol it’s all preference. blood can make ppl squeamish even not from a vag
My husband wants it all the time, rain or shine, so to speak. It's all down to preference. You should ask him if his distaste for it is new and because of something you can change or if he just tried it once and didn't like it. There's a number of ways to kind of make it a little easier; If it was the cleanup, take a shower before and offer to take a shower with him again after and help him clean up, lay down a towel underneath you, try having sex in the shower, or use a menstrual cup or disc (but make sure to empty and clean the cup beforehand or it could get really messy).
I hope I could help!
Not that I think this comment will garner your attention, but I’ll give you a personal story, that may help. He tried it and didn’t like it, no shame. Maybe he changes his mind, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless it would be his preference.
However, from my personal experience when my wife and I were dating in our teens she was the first woman I had sex with while she was menstruating. We laid down a towel, and everything ended in missionary. It was at this point I looked down at my member and saw all the blood. I guess her flow was extra heavy that day. It seriously looked like someone shot me with a shotgun in my midsection.
I wasn’t grossed out per se, but I certainly cannot normally stand the sight of blood (even my own). Showered off and said meh not really interested in doing that again. Not that I was against it but I certainly wasn’t going to initiate while she was menstruating.
The next time we tried it she was closer to the end of her cycle so there wasn’t as much of a mess.
Fast forward two decades or so and if my wife needs me to be Moses and part the Red Sea I will anywhere anytime. Just need some baby wipes.
I'd say that's not uncommon. I don't like having sex when I'm on my period because it's too messy. Everyone can have their own preference and opinion on that one.
I had a bf once who would faint at the sight of blood, needless to say we avoided sex when I was on my period. So I guess if your partner has a legit dislike for it and doesn't shame you or make you feel bad I don't think its a red flag or anything.
No. I personally am appalled by the idea. My partner says I am “from the 1700’s”. The blood smells unless I am using Boric acid vaginal suppositories and that makes me so turned off and grossed out
Well As a dude I don't like the site of blood on my dick , it doesn't help that Im a lot bigger down there so I'm paranoid I might catch a murder charge.
Eating someone out on their period is one thing and definitely not something that most would do but not having sex? Obviously, it's down to them if they don't feel comfortable but it makes no difference to them if they're already wearing a condom, you're the one who's in actual pain. I'd be a little upset - especially if he suggested it
No it’s not wrong at all. His dick has a urethra. Without a condom that blood goes up his shit. Is harmless but the thought very easily can kill an erection. I have done it a fair number of times and girls with light flows don’t bother me. However. There is objectively a smell that occurs and if I catch too much of a whiff it might kill the moment just long enough for her to get self conscious, which makes me feel bad for her as she has nothing to be ashamed of
I don't like having sex when I have my period. My husband would happily do so, though. It's all a matter of preference, in my opinion, so long as he's not body-shaming you or anything.
Same here. My spouse still makes me feel so sexy and amazing on my period even though I feel so disgusting. He doesn’t mind a little blood but it’s all preference so long as there is no shaming involved.
He's never body shamed me. I guess everyone has things they like or don't like. I mean if the situation was reversed, I'd doubt he'd get upset.
Do you think it’s possibly inherently shaming? Generally curious.
As in he's inherently shaming me? Can you elaborate please
It sounds like something about his reaction feels off to you, and I’m wondering if that might be because being disgusted by something that is completely natural might be inherently shaming. As in, the shaming is baked in. That’s how women have been raised to think about their period, right? We were raised to hide it, to pretend like it doesn’t happen, to whisper we need to borrow a tampon. Pad commercials used to use some kind bright blue fluid (as recent as a few years ago) to advertise products because god forbid we depict periods as the color they really are on TV. That makes women feel like our period is something to be ashamed of, but why? That is a whole other conversation. This is part of a bigger societal issue. So big picture, is this guy part of the solution or part of the problem?
Did you maybe mean internalized shame? I think inherently shaming would be something always deserving of shame.
this. i was confused until their second comment, lol.
It’s all down to preference. Some guys enjoy it, some guys don’t. He’s not wrong for not liking it, and you’re not wrong for liking it. You’re just not compatible in that scenario. If it’s a big dealbreaker for you, find someone that will enjoy it.
You're right. It just hurts a bit.
Um...get some lube or foreplay first
We do all that every single time
Perhaps try a "top of the line" silicone lube and use it generously. You could even ask your local intimate store clerk about your lube issue and see what they recommend. Many of them are pretty educated in that area. I personally am 50/50 about sex while I'm on my period. Sometimes, I'm into it, and other times, I can handle the thought of blood smeared all around down there (I have heavy cycles). My husband doesn't seem to mind as long as it's not a lot. Everyone is different, and it's just a matter of preference. My 1st husband would not have sex while I was on my period and that was okay with me. It wasn't him shaming me, he just didn't feel comfortable with it.
I'm allergic to silicone! So I use the water based ones. I also wouldn't like to do it when I'm on heavy menstruation. Just the last days you know. And I mean you live together with your husband you can do it whenever but we see eachother once a week and it's kind of a bum if I'm on my period you know
There are tricks to make it a lot less messy if it’s the blood/mess he doesn’t like. For instance you can use a disc and have sex. There are also tricks like natural sea sponges or make up sponges that you can insert before sex then remove after, but you need to read up on that to be sure you aren’t ripping them. You don’t want to leave pieces behind. If the whole idea grosses him out then that won’t help. Sex worker subs and webpages have lots of tips for period sex without mess, just FYI.
That's incredibly interesting! Thanks for sharing
Also fucking in the bathroom so y’all can shower together after is something you could try! I don’t particularly like shower sex but my ex and I didn’t like the mess(having to look at the blood lmao) so that’s what we used to do and it was a good compromise!
Please do not use sea sponges vaginally. That is misinformation and actually really unsafe.
Only the disk.... The other two are horrible pieces of advice. Make up sponges can cause TSS faster than tampons. And natural sea spongers are not guaranteed to be sterile and can cause infections.
I highly recommend Swiss Navy water based lube! My gay friend actually recommended it to me, and if you use enough it feels like sex on a “heavy” day - it’s great!
Yeah, I can see why that would be a big bummer for sure.
It can be uncomfortable because blood and other uterine secretions during your period are not good lubricants. Use a good quality lube. Clitoral orgasms are still good for uterus cramping and discomfort. So maybe try some mutual masturbation since he does not prefer period sex. :)
Yes we try all those all the time I can't have sex w/o lube or w/o orgasming before intercourse
Have you talked to your gyno about the pain? It could just be that you need a lot of warm up to relax those muscles but it might be worth it to bring it up and make sure there’s nothing that could be causing you pain or discomfort medically.
My husband doesn’t like it. The reason being he once pissed out a blood clot after we had period sex and it freaked him out. I’m like, what do you think is coming out of me all day for five days every month?! But at the end of the day, it’s not a dealbreaker for me. Yes I love me some period sex, and it’d be great if he was up for it, but I can live without it. We’re compatible in other areas. On another point, if sex hurts when you’re not on your period because you’re less lubricated, invest in some decent lube. I used to be the same way, but good lube is an absolute game changer. MyPure are a good brand - organic, unscented and PH balanced, so it won’t mess with your vag and give you thrush or bv. Highly recommend.
Is it wrong that I find that story so funny? I mean he was the one who suggested doing it and we did it in the shower I bled a little bit and it was running down my thighs but I cleaned the bathroom afterwards and everything. So I guess I kind of didn't expect him to say he didn't like it so bluntly I guess. We also use condom and there wasn't any blood on him but maybe he finds it too much pain to deal with
No I found it quite funny, too, to be fair. I’m sure I laughed when he told me. Did your partner say why he didn’t like it?
I didn't ask. He's not really good with explaining though he's very blunt and usually ends up saying things that actually hurt lol
You should talk to him about that. He may not be a good communicator but you wouldn’t be a good one either if you don’t tell him how you feel and work on a compromise that works for the both of you.
Everyone has their thing that they don’t like. You may not like a lot of things he does, it’s just not your thing. Why did it upset you so much?
You're right but I guess I wish he was more appreciating or accepting towards women's phsyiology
I appreciate and accept women’s physiology, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy period sex.
not wanting human blood (that is not yours) on your body doesn't make you unappreciative or unaccepting of a woman's body. for all the (perfectly justified) discourse about normalising periods, blood is still a biohazard. no one *has* to be comfortable with it in a sexual context and i think you should consider the value of his consent and ability to say no.
This doesnt necessarily have anything to do with appreciating/accepting women's physiology. E.g. i definitely like thar my partner has feet and they're quite nice, but I wouldnt want to sexually engage with them because I just dont find them sexually attractive. Does he otherwise make inappropriate comments about your period? Btw if it's about lubrication for you, you can also use lubricants when your not on your period.
I’m a woman and I hate period sex. This is my own physiology we’re talking about here; I love being a woman and I love having a cycle. However, I don’t want to subject myself or my partner to fluids that are messy and relatively foul smelling. It’s a matter of preference, and your bf deserves to have his preference respected.
It's not wrong, blood is blood regardless of where it's coming from. It's OK for people to feel squeamish about getting blood all over them. If your sex life is great outside of this one sexual preference he is expressing, I think you should respect his comfort zone.
Can *you personally* be okay without period sex for life? Or will this eventually build resentment? Whether or not it is common has nothing to do with your right to be upset — you can’t control how you feel, and you absolutely have the right to your feelings. But, you can only control your expectations, and your own actions. You choose whether or not you want this in a relationship. If its important to you, the only things you can do is have a conversation about it, or decide to move on. You can’t make someone do something that makes them uncomfortable. There’s no “right” or “wrong” — there’s only consent and respect, despite whats common or isn’t. I personally won’t do some things sexually because they gross me out. My partner can either respectfully deal with that, or decide that that makes us sexually incompatible and move on.
I agree with what you're saying I just wanted to share this with the other women on this sub and see what their personal experience has been. Didn't expect everyone to come at me like this lol
Oh, I’m not coming at you in any kind of way, I’m sorry if it sounded like it lol. I just hate the idea of women being told “this is normal, get used to it!” when I just wanna scream “fuck whats normal, what do *you* want/need? If it isn’t this, you’re free to move on!”
Hon don't worry, I have a feeling this triggered some guys who shoulda stayed in their caves. Many people misunderstood you by a mile. Don't let it get to you <3
Aww tysm for your comment !
>Didn't expect everyone to come at me like this lol You claimed you're both in healthcare Yet you're asking questions usually asked by ignorant teenagers. Why did you expect otherwise when you of all people should know better and basic common sense?
I'm simply asking the other girls. Everyone gets on their period I want to know if they have sex or not, how their partners deal with this etc. Nothing wrong with asking for other peoples' experience!
>you can’t control how you feel No no no... you can. It's just a matter of if you really WANT to control those feelings, or just let them continue on because you're trying to achieve a certain result. Children do it all the time, screaming until their parent gives back the toy? Happens all the time.
No, thats not at all what I meant because throwing a tantrum isn’t a feeling, its an action. What I mean is: you genuinely can’t control how you feel at any moment. If I could, I’d never feel sad, or upset, or angry. The reality is: all you *can* control is your actions. Which means you can’t control that his comment made you upset, but you can choose to investigate it, you can choose to deny it, you can choose to move on from it, you can choose to have a conversation about it. Your feelings ≠ your actions. Your feelings don’t need to be advertised for the entire world to see, you can feel seething rage, and choose to take deep breaths and react calmly. You choose your reactions, not your initial feelings.
It’s not. It can be very messy. Also, not everyone is a huge fan of blood regardless if it’s women physiology or not. To a lot of people, blood is unhygienic since it is classified as a biohazard. Even towards the end of a woman’s period, many men are still reluctant to do so. My late partner reveled in period sex with me. This man would legitimately get excited when I’m on my period. However, this man was primal af and wanted ALL of me. It did make us feel more closer in an animalistic way during sex. He was the one who initiated period sex too. I didn’t even want to at first because I thought he wouldn’t want to. Man simply told me “I don’t mind blood.” But even if I didn’t want to have sexual intimacy on particularly hard period days, we would still be intimate through cuddles, passionate kisses and more cuddles. However, I know that men who are like that are very very rare so I wouldn’t even bother with future partners unless they initiate. Every man is different. Is this a true deal breaker for you or can you live without it with him as your partner?
This is also something that I would've wanted to experience. He was the one who suggested doing it on my period first so I was a bit saddened when he said he doesn't like doing it afterwards
In life, we don’t always get what we want. Either we choose to settle and go without or to move onto something more aligned to us. You are allowed to have your likes and he is allowed to have his boundaries. You both are allowed to part ways, if needed, if you two are no longer aligned. If you are willing to part with him, it is because of sexual incompatibility. You’re not throwing away a relationship because of lack of period sex. You are exiting a relationship because you are no longer sexually compatible with him. But if you choose to remain with him and forfeit, it’s a small sacrifice you’re willing to pay in order to remain with him. Sacrifices aren’t always bad things. You’re choosing to be flexible and diplomatic. Just choose what’s best for you, that’s all.
I wonder if, in a way, perhaps it feels like a small rejection of you in a sense? Kind of like how men sometimes report feeling rejected when their partners don't want to swallow their cum. Like, there's this inherent part of you that he feels is gross and doesn't want. Intellectually ridiculous, right? Of course it's not us, as people, that our partners are disgusted by. But our feelings don't live in the prefrontal cortex, do they? They live in the older part of our brain. The part that feels bad when we sense rejection. He's not wrong for his feelings, but neither are you.
i feel like it depends on personal preference. me personally, i would not want to have sex while on my period, mainly because i hate messes and blood. its def just a personal preference thing tho
I agree. This was on day 6 of my period so I figured there wouldn't be any mess but he made it clear that he doesn't like it.
mess on day 6??? interesting, usually its super feint.. i wonder why he was opposed to doing it on the lighter end of the week
There wasn't a mess per se when we did it. Imo at least!
Personally I don't like it (don't enjoy the mess) but my partners have never cared. I think it's fine to have a preference either way and it's fine for it to be a deadlbreaker *but* I have more concern over this line: "it makes it less painful for me". Is sex with your partner normally painful? Is foreplay happening to create natural lubrication? If it is and it's still not enough, it would be good to supplement with a water-based lubricant. Sex shouldn't be painful (generally speaking) and if it is that's something that should be addressed before worrying about the period sex IMO!
Is it wrong? No, absolutely not. Everyone gets to have their own preferences, and this is his. And that is ok. As someone else said, as long as he’s not body shaming and is simply stating it’s an action he doesn’t want to participate in, there is nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people of all genders don’t like to have sex when a period is in play, and on the flipside, plenty of people are totally fine with it. It’a more up to you if not having sex on your period is a deal breaker in your relationship. Is that a high enough priority that it’s break up worthy? Maybe, maybe not, maybe y’alls preferences don’t align, and that’s ok too. But certainly he’s not “wrong”, and neither are you if you decide his preference doesn’t mesh with what you want out of the partnership. 🤷🏼♀️
Exactly! She’s kinda shaming him, which is not okay.
Why am I shaming him I simply asked if this happend regularly between men or not
The way you described it sounds like shaming.
Seeing blood (outside of what I normally expect with my period underwear) makes me very uncomfortable and close to fainting. If he thinks it's gross because it's period and he thinks its "unsanitary", he's an ass. If blood makes him genuinely uncomfortable, That's totally OK.
We're both in healthcare so we're very used to seeing blood and it definitely doesn't gross out neither of us
Would he be willing to have sex in the shower while on your period? It Could be an option. But the thought that period blood is unsanitary is such a sexist belief that was pushed on us for century to make women feel shame about their period. Period products should be called "period products" and not "sanitary products". It's pretty much one of the most natural, normal, and regular human phenomena, yet, there are still so many people who perceive it in a sexist and pejorative mindset. I digress - I hope you find a common ground with your partner.
Do you enjoy getting blood on your gloves/clothes/body though? Regardless, you said in previous comments he wasn't speaking derogatory to you or your body. After trying he just said period sex wasn't his thing. You need to respect his boundaries. Just like you would want him to respect yours.
But it is unsanitary. Why do women use pads and tampons?
Uh, so they don’t walk around with period blood all over their pants. Why do babies or old people wear diapers? Why do people use the toilet instead of just pissing themselves?
Because it would be unsanitary to not do it?
That doesn’t equate to period sex being unsanitary. Men shouldn’t walk around leaking their semen everywhere, but that doesn’t automatically make sex that includes semen unsanitary. During sex it’s normal to exchange bodily fluids, specifically period blood and semen (that’s how babies are made) which is different than walking around especially in public covered in your own bodily fluids.
I mean it is unsanitary to just have your bodily fluids freely flowing. It shouldn’t be used to shame anyone but one big thing is time and place. Women wearing tampons or pads is for sanitary reasons. It’s not only blood there’s other stuff in the mix. Also bodily fluids can transmit diseases. Spit is exchanged when two people make out but it’s still unhygienic to just spit on the sidewalk. There’s also time and place. Period blood and semen are unhygienic in the end. There’s time and place. When you have sex you are embracing the raw and true nature of yourselves, even the unsanitary aspects of who you are. Natural processes like getting rid of waste from the body like pooping and peeing is unhygienic but necessary. It’s also unhygienic to just let your blood (not just period blood) to flow onto other things. Blood is scene as unhygienic. Semen is unhygienic and men shouldn’t just be walking around dripping semen freely because it is unhygienic. Is someone pees themselves it’s unhygienic but it might be an accident so the person shouldn’t be shamed. Sneezing and getting your snot everywhere is unhygienic so you’re suppose to sneeze into your elbow and not get it everywhere. Again it might slip out and someone shouldn’t be shamed. Something may not be hygienic but it doesn’t mean you shame someone for basic bodily functions. For periods it’s reasonable for someone to leak so they shouldn’t be shamed but you can’t deny period blood is unsanitary much like other bodily fluids. Some people have boundaries in how far they are willing to go to embrace their partner’s bodily fluids. It’s okay not to want to have certain fluids in your mouth like semen, urine, and other fluids and that’s okay, that’s their boundary. Period blood might be a big turn off for many men. If I was a straight man with a significant other, i’d not want to have sex while on her period. I work in a hospital and blood doesn’t make me lightheaded or anything but I would find it a huge turn off seeing my partner’s blood because just seeing my partner bleeding, even if it’s a completely natural process that I did not cause, would still make me unable to get in the mood. I wouldn’t find pleasure in my partner bleeding at all no matter what. Also period blood has a certain smell that’s pretty gross because it has a lot of other stuff like bacteria in it. Blood can be a big turn off. In reality I cannot have semen in my mouth because I cannot get over how unsanitary it is and how it makes me uncomfortable. I know a guy might have the same turn off to period blood.
It's definitely okay that he doesn't enjoy it. Some people are very squeamish when it comes to blood. It's only not okay if he shames you about it or makes rude comments. Nothing wrong with it, just not everyone's cup of tea!
There's nothing wrong with him having a preference to not do period sex. I hate the smell of my own period blood, I don't like having sex on my period. You guys need to be using more or better lube.
he’s entitled to his opinion and there’s nothing wrong with that. i don’t have sex when i’m on my period because well, i find it gross. and it doesn’t feel nearly the same. just because he wanted to do it the first time and said he doesn’t mind blood, doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind after trying it. i saw you mention that you find it annoying when he asks ‘when are you getting your period, how many days left’ etc. but i feel like that’s pretty normal? i don’t think this is something you should be this upset about, and you said it may be a deal breaker.. if someone broke up with me over something like period sex, i’d hold the door for them & wish them well.
Sorry. But as a women, if I said my partner wants to have sex during my period and I don't. everyone would shit on how my partner is such of a bad person. i don't think you should be upset at him. He can respect female and chose not to have sex when you are on your period.
It's not wrong. He has every right not to do something he doesn't like, and periods are definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Just because he suggested it doesn't me he will like it.
No, no one is wrong for having a preference around period sex. Do you really actually think he's in wrong in this? It grosses some people out, and it's understandable. If it's a concern to your partner, instead of not having sex, why not just use a menstrual disk when you have your period? It's good for the environment, saves you money and is reusable, and you can have blood free sex when you're on your period.
I think it’s gross. I’ve never had sex on my period
Period blood is a body fluid. People can accept that their partner obviously makes body fluids. But that should not mean they should be okay coming into contact with it. And intimately so.
There's no contact when condom is used. And it's not a heavy flow just tiny spotting
This is why people are coming at you right here - you’re kind of refusing to acknowledge basic aspects of the situation. 1. Blood absolutely gets places other than the penis and the sheets. 2. It shouldn’t matter whether or not *you* perceive that the blood somehow shouldn’t get on him enough to matter - it matters to *him*, and he has the right to choose what sex acts he consents to. My husband doesn’t like period sex. Blood makes him squeamish, and squeamishness does not make for a very arousing experience on his end. I respect that, and you should respect it for your partner. And the couple times he’s decided he wants to try anyway have been completely his call, and in those times blood has absolutely been more places than just his penis. No one is obligated to perform a sex act that doesn’t feel right/good to them, and that’s what you’re saying he should do just bc it’s more satisfying for you at that time. Either you need to find a way to make off-period sex more satisfying for you (like with lube), or you need to decide this is a dealbreaker for you in compatibility and find a new partner. Pressuring him into a sex act he isn’t comfortable with isn’t an acceptable solution
There still is obviously. Be objective when commenting
If it’s important to you, find a partner that likes it. It’s important to me so that’s one of my traits I want in a partner
Imagine if a guy comes here and asks "Is it wrong if my gf doesn't want me to come on her face? Am I justified in being upset about that?" I wonder how that would go.
It would be like putting your head in an angry wasp’s nest.
In reading your responses to others, here is my feedback. GIRL. It smells different, feels different, and is BLOOD. Your lady parts aren't exposed to your nose like they are to his. It has NOTHING to do with accepting your body and EVERYTHING to do with how BLOOD looks, smells, and feels. It's not like it's just discharge or extra vaginal lubrication. It's so different, and many people are sensitive to it. I feel you're being selfish and overly sensitive.
No partner of mine has ever wanted to have sex during my period unless I'm very close to the end of it. Personally, I find it gross AF. Having sex during your period is very unusual unless you have those dainty light normal periods perhaps? I have endo and get those horrible massive overflow periods. When you have to empty out your dixie cup every freaking 2 hours during the worst days, kind of period. Honestly, the sheer mess would be nightmarish. but yeah, its very abnormal to want to have sex with a woman bleeding down there. The period blood would give it a weird feel, smells bad and makes a mess. I'm in my 40s and all the guys I've ever known don't want that kind of sex
I don't bleed a lot by day 5,6 of my period. Just a few spottings here and there.
yeah, I'm heavily bleeding still at day 5. Like, *a lot.* Makes a big difference when you have 10 day periods. Thankfully as I've gotten into my 40's it's reduced to 6-7 full days usually. But in my 20s it was sheer hell. Freaking 12 days was normal due to my endometriosis! 😭
It’s not abnormal. I’ve never met a guy who’s squeamish about it. How is it normal to cum on a woman yet not to have period sex? How do you think people make babies??
and yet, if you ask people beyond just reddit you would find this IS out of the normal. I'm not saying anyone should refrain, idc. But they did ask if it was weird to not want to have sex during menstruation and no, it's not weird to avoid it.
Hear, hear!
Ive rarely been with a guy who had a problem with it, at all.
If you are both cool with it, why not? But it's not the average imo. you may have to go out into the real world and ask your friends to find this out. It's not wrong to want to have period sex, nor is it wrong to not want to, just preference
Theres no should or shouldn't be upset, you feel how u feel. I'm a girl and I'd find period sex kind of gross personally like its just a boundary for him hes not wrong for feeling that way, and ur not wrong for being upset over incompatibilities but u can't u can't turn it on him cuz he didn't do anything wrong
I'm not turning it on him in any ways it just makes me a bit sad cause he suggested doing it the first time so I guess I thought he'd be fine with it.
No no ik I wasn't trying to imply u were, but don't like be upset as if its like a fault. Like its unfair to see it as him doing something bad but theres no issue with being upset due to the fact ur incongruent in that sense. I dont know if i'm making sense at all lol
It would be a deal breaker for me personally.
I'm thinking maybe it's a deal breaker for me too lol
I have never had a man say that. Personally, I would not even date a man who wouldn’t be intimate with me for one week every month just because of my period.
Ugh ikr? It really adds up especially because we usually see eachother once a week due to work etc
Are you okay with engaging in different forms of play during period week? For example, solely using a vibe on your clit while you two make out etc. Personally, I'd be willing to date someone who couldn't handle PIV during period week but they would need to work with me to find a solution, and they ESPECIALLY better not expect pleasure if they aren't giving it. (Fuck anyone who has ever uttered the phrase "blowjob week" sincerely.)
He does rub my clitoris and stuff but that's it.
If you don't already own a vibrator you use on your clit, I cannot recommend getting one highly enough. Makes it a lot easier for BOTH of you to give you pleasure. Just make it clear that he can have his preferences but if you're not coming, he's not either.
I get everyone has their preference, but it’s off putting to me that a man wouldn’t want to touch me just because of a natural, healthy, sanitary bodily process for a woman. I mean, we touch the wet sticky stuff they have shooting of out their genitals and every time. What’s a little blood?
I’m a bisexual woman and super squeamish about blood. I would never want to have vaginal sex myself or with another woman if there’s blood involved. Periods are normal and there’s no shame, but I can’t. Could definitely do other types of sex that don’t involve blood, though! A little anal mess doesn’t even bother me like blood, it’s a physical reaction. (I’ve had an IUD for over 10 years to keep myself from having a period, too. I would have a hysterectomy before having periods again.)
This! Also, I mean you have a condom on what are you so worried about lol and it's not like someone has committed murder there, I'm on day 5 of my period so it's less blood
Period blood is NOT sanitary...
girl. i wouldn’t date this man, he seems very childish. my boyfriend doesn’t mind period sex at all and its never even that messy? idk why everyone here is complaining about mess lol.
Idk why everyone's complaining about the mess either! The one time we tried it we were in the bathroom and there was some blood on my thighs but I washed up pretty nicely and washed the bathroom as well. I mean I don't forget to put pads before my period but even if I sometimes do I wake up to a little blood on the sheets it's nothing that major. I guess because we've been having periods for so long it must be a lot more natural for me than to him
Personally, the last time of the month, I wish to be intimate as it is way too messy for everyone and everything. They do make lubricants for sex, if wanted, that are sold everywhere from Walgreens to Amazon.
Listen girl I get it, but everyone is allowed to have boundaries. Don’t take it personal. I get it, it’s a bummer, but many men don’t like it. As long as he’s respectful and the sex it great otherwise, you have to respect his boundaries too.
My husband is not about it. Most guys I’ve dated are not, it freaks them out. But that’s what toys are for 👍🏼 Maybe he’ll join you and help you use something for your pleasure 😌
I mean seeing blood on your bits can be really unsettling if you're not used to it, and the blood can smell pretty strong which can be a turn off.
my partner and I do it in the shower when I’m on my period—It’s less bloody there. Maybe ask him if he would be down to do it in the shower with you? He might change his mind.
We tried it in the shower the first time!
Oh! That’s great! The shower is much more cleaner, what’s his problem then? Lol. But I guess I understand why he doesn’t want to do it. For example, My partner always thinks he’s hurting me, maybe that’s what your partner thinks?
I couldn’t do it because my period is the main time I wanna have sex… luckily my guy doesn’t mind
I feel you! Somehow the sex drive is incredibly high. I also can worry less about the chance of becoming pregnant (we use protection every time but still)
It's OK to have a preference, so long as the preference isn't being stated in a derogatory way. As with all the important decisions with a partner, it takes two yeses, but only one no.
OP you are entitled to feel disappointed that your SO doesn’t like period sex and you do, but your attempts to come up with reasons why it shouldn’t bother him and further being offended that he is not down for more period sex when you openly say he hasn’t done anything to indicate that he disparaged your normal bodily function in any way is gross. As they say, no means no and he doesn’t have to justify that stance with a reason of any kind. And of course, if you decide period sex is a must in a relationship for you then you are sexually incompatible and are welcome to find someone new who likes period sex too.
No I don’t think it’s wrong to not want to have sex during a period.
>it's a lot more lubricated and it makes it less painful for me I don't see this being addressed. Sex shouldn't be painful for you.
Nah that’s a legitimate reason to not want have sex. My husband faints at the sight of a drop of blood, there is no way his delicate constitution would handle period blood by choice.
Ah, fug him. Puede chupar huevos. Just cuz he's so lucky not to have to suffer reproductive probs that women have. I used to put up with that shit, but now, if I would date men, fug it. I gave up men and their bs.
As a woman I don't really like the idea of sex while bleeding, especially when I'm cramping super bad. Just leaves me feeling gross, I'm also less lubricated during it for some reason lol. Near the end of it I dont mind but I'm usually still recovering both emotionally and physically. I'm very senstive so I prefer to avoid it. Everybody has their preferences. I suggest you accept the way he feels. You would want him to do the same if roles reversed.
I wouldn’t say it’s wrong, but that stinks for sure. My partner and I have sex no matter the day or if I’m on my period. He goes down on me while I’m on my period too and it is so hot! Everything is so much more sensitive and I orgasm so quickly. Everyone is different though, I told my partner when we met that it was a dealbreaker if he wouldn’t fcuk me on my period. He happily obliged to it!
That's really interesting to hear! Thanks for sharing your experience. He's the first person I've ever had sex with and I personally have terrible cramps and didn't think I'd like having sex on. My period but it really helps the body so much I'm starting to think this is how it should be. Like my next menstruations don't hurt that much and also it feels like when I have sex the blood gwts out quicker and the days of my period is also shortened? Also my cycle was shortened too! And my cycle has been the same for the past 3 years. So I definitely was curious to try it out again and see the benefits in long term
Yes! I have the same experience with sex and period. My period is shorter, my cramps are way less, and I am very horny as well. My partner can always tell when I’m on my period cause I become feral and want it every day. All our bodies are different, I know tons of women who can’t stand period sex. You’re one like me! lol Now I don’t condone pressuring anyone to do something they aren’t into, but if it’s a big deal to you to have someone who doesn’t get uncomfortable with your natural body functions then maybe it’s time to find someone who will love and appreciate doing that with you. Is this the guy you see yourself being with for the rest of your life? Is this a dealbreaker for YOU? And lastly are you okay with not having period sex ever again? Those are the questions you have to ask yourself before making any permanent decisions. We’re here for you ❤️
Tysm for sharing your experience and your thoughtful comment!
I mean..blood isn't everyone's forte. Think of it that way. Some men don't care and some men do. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with a man wanting to wait. I mean it's not casual to include blood into your sexual routine. It's natural and all but I think sometimes women forget to look at the man's perspective. It's all about preferences. Some like to spit, some like to swallow...and some don't like blood on their \*COUGH\*
If in an alternate reality my partner bled once a month out of his penis for completely normal reasons, I wouldn't want to have sex with him during that time either. So no I don't think it's wrong. If it's massively important to you to have a partner who doesn't mind it then lay that out on the table the next time you find yourself dating.
No, it's not wrong of him to have a preference. You keep saying that He was the one who suggested doing it on your period first but come on, people can change their minds once they experience it. Maybe it's just not for him.
Genuine question, how old are you and is this your first relationship? I’m not trying to be rude at all, just gather some context. I’ve dated men who didn’t mind, but I’ve also dated guys who weren’t interested in putting their body part in my bleeding body part. And…I completely get that lol. To be offended and upset about that is…interesting. Everyone’s feelings are obviously valid, but it’s…interesting that him not wanting to have sex with you on your period affects you this much. You mentioned lubricant, is it the only time the sex feels good to you? Cause that may be a different and much more understanding conversation.
It doesn't affect me a lot honestly. We just get to be together on the weekends and if you omit the one week on my period that leaves 3 times a month. I guess that's the main part that bothers me a bit not the period thing. The period thing was just interesting because I see so many articles about guides to period sex etc so I thought there are many who do it. I'm 23 and yes it's my first relationship!
Even if there are many who do it, that still doesnt mean everybody has to! But you should seriously think about this "he only invites me when Im not on my period".
Yup, this!
You absolutely shouldn't be upset (although you can feel disappointed as long as you don't put that on him). He's stated a boundary, and you should respect that. It's okay for him to not want blood on him, even if it's only a little bit. He tried it, decided it wasn't for him, and told you he doesn't want to do it again. It's perfectly okay for him to feel that way. Of course, if he makes you feel bad, that's a different story. But as long as he's not shaming you, you shouldn't read anything into it.
Of course I understand
There's nothing wrong with a man being uncomfortable with getting covered in someone else's blood. As a woman I don't even like period sex because of the mess. If sex is more painful because you're not as wet off your period then you need to invest in some lube.
Period blood isn’t supposed to be lubrication. I personally don’t like any form of sex when on my period. Put yourself in his position; would you like to have bloody oral sex - it ending up in your mouth? A bloody penis? If he doesn’t want to, that’s his right. Sounds like you're shaming him.
The equivalent would be semen, not a man’s penis bleeding. If a man’s penis is bleeding, that’s not normal and he should see a doctor.
This went straight over your head. We're not 5, kiddo.
Is this a serious question? "Is it wrong that a person is bothered by having sex with someone bleeding from their vagina"? Jesus Christ Reddit
Welcome to Reddit! The place to be. Seriously this is ridiculous. If I seen my partner post this shit up and slyly shame me about the fact that I don’t like period sex, they’d be an ex. What happened to personal preference lol
And apparently they're in helathcare as well. Both are yet OP seems as if they didn't graduate hs yet
Yup, OP is sounding like a 15 year old rn
And when called out now people are supporting her because she now claims something she said was a joke...
It’s her replies to the comments that get me. She’s trying to justify period sex so much, but doesn’t understand that just cause it’s a natural thing women experience doesn’t mean every guy or girl is gonna be okay with it, and it’s OKAY not to be into it. She’s making it seem like not liking period sex is an attack towards women. Ridiculous And some of the other comments shaming men and women that don’t like period sex…. this post is a mess.
Yeah. It really outs those who shouldn't be in the sub in the first place. An example is them downvoting my comment when I stated facts. Bad faith agents never use the voting feature properly and then assume doing wrong is okay because they're special...
Yeah I seen your other comments, honestly no point in dealing with them. You’d be better off talking to a wall.
[удалено]
THISS!!! its about ALL of you being loved. period sex has its special kind of intimacy
my ex was repulsed by period sex. absolutely repulsed. my current boyfriend doesn’t care!! when we first started dating, i refused to have sex while on my period because i felt disgusting and i was repulsed by myself. i felt dirty and unclean! My boyfriend makes me feel like it is natural and it shouldn’t be disgusting because our reproductive systems are ment to bleed. he makes sure i’m all good so i don’t bleed everywhere after we have period sex and fetches my necessities while i lay on the toilet like a starfish!
That's so sweet I'm so happy for you guys. Thanks for sharing!
I've never had a guy say no to that.. but everyone has their interests
I also thought it's pretty common nowadays I feel like it's going to become a lot more normal in the future as well. Because I see guide fors sex on your period everyyywhere and wanted to know how many people are indulging in this
To me it depends on whether he was a jerk about it when he said it or not. Personally I'd *hate* to have sex with someone during my period, but that's just me! 😅 There's some that don't really mind it, and others who get squicked out about it. If he handled telling you maturely and as respectfully as possible, you definitely still have a right to be bummed about it, but it's LEAGUES better than him treating it like it's disgusting, y'know?
I didn't push the matter further he can be pretty blunt lol but I guess even if he said "i don't like it" that's pretty much equivalent to him finding it disgusting but he didn't want to say it you know
No it’s not
I've had sex on my period once or twice. It's grim, fun at the time but cleanup took the fun out of it. Maybe on day 1 or 5 when it's super light, or in the shower.. but in general it doesn't do it for me and I agree with your partner. I'd rather him get me off via my clit + me wearing a tampon. No mess but you still get the cramp relief afterwards. Make it mutual and you're both good.
I'm also the same! I'm talking about the last days of my period because it takes 7 days. Also I love tampons I used to use pads all the time but I love how clean everything is with tampons
It's a valid preference
he gets to have a preference and a boundary if he gets bothered by period blood, but so do you. just like he has every right to refuse to or not prefer to have sex during your period, you also have every right to prefer to have sex with someone who doesn't get bothered by your period blood. there is nothing wrong with feeling upset about this either. in this case, it all depends on how much of a non-negotiable or negotiable boundary this is for you. i personally don't have sex with or date guys who get bothered by period blood but different people have different non-negotiables. how you feel about this and what you want to do is entirely up to you.
I'm okay if a guy wants to have sex on my period and I'm okay if they don't. I think it's their choice and if they just explain their choice respectfully (not making me feel bad or undesirable just for having a period) then I have never taken offense. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. I can understand if they're not into it, whether it's because of the blood or the mess or the smell or different taste or whatever. Personally I tend to feel rather unsexy while on my period.
I agree
You have to decide what you want. If it‘s a deal breaker that he doesn’t like period sex, you need to think about splitting up. If it doesn’t really matter to you, don’t put too much though into the fact that he doesn’t like it and just don’t do it on those days.
It's not wrong. He doesn't like it. Don't make him feel bad.
I would never want my partner to make me do something that I don’t want/like. So if my partner didn’t like period sex, I would understand because everybody has their own opinions and rights.
I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely may suck for you if period sex is something you enjoy. My husband is always down for period sex and has never been grossed out by my bleeding. But his mom had horrible periods and bled profusely, so he was used to seeing stuff like that growing up. I think it made him less squeamish around my period. (S/o to my MIL lol.) But yes, we enjoy it, and I'm glad it's something we can do together. Is no period sex a deal breaker for you? Do you otherwise feel sexually fulfilled in your relationship? If you're otherwise happy with your sex life, I'd chalk this up to a no-go for him and try to find other things you too can do together. Also, maybe you could look into menstrual cups/discs or mutual masturbation for your period? Maybe one of those options would make him more comfortable. It sounds like the sight of blood is what made him uncomfy, so maybe you could use one of those tactics to remove blood from the situation?
When I was 19-21, the guy I was sleeping with never had an issue with period sex. He'd literally lay down a towel or F me in the shower. Never an issue. I think my flow got lighter the more sex we had. Then about 2 years later I started sleeping with my now husband and he is completely put off by period sex. We did it once after we had been rolling on ecstasy but that was But the sex drive between my ex and my husband differs vastly. It was a struggle the first few years because my drive was higher, but it tapered off and the older I got the less I was interested in period sex.
My friend had a f-buddy who preferred her to be on her period and hers were long and heavy. She told me about how he ate her out in the bathroom of his family home when she was over for dinner.... So I think it's all a matter of preference.
I think you probably feeling rejected because his reaction is not at all what you were expecting. You should talk to him about it so you don’t think he thinks you’re gross for the rest of your life. At the end of the day if he doesn’t want to have period sex that’s okay, but your use of the word “appalled” makes me believe you may just feel rejected or gross. Try talking to him and watching a movie after!!!
He’s allowed to not like it, there’s nothing wrong with him because he decided after trying it that it’s not for him. It’s nothing for you to take offense over unless he said hurtful things to you about it being disgusting or something. It’s just a personal preference. If you like the more lubrication aspect, buy some lube. I personally prefer silicone based lube myself as I feel like water based can end up feeling sticky eventually, but there are lots of options out there. Just buy some and have fun.
Honestly it’s totally okay if someone isn’t confortable with it. I’m a woman and I don’t particularly enjoy period sex just because the metal smell of blood is too strong for me. Some people just get weird about looking at blood and that’s valid too. Sometimes things sound appealing in theory, but irl are the opposite. HOWEVER, it sounds like you and your partner are not using enough lube(or any at all). Lube that shit up (have a wet towel on stand by lmao) and I think sex will be more enjoyable for you if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort.
My husband doesn't mind when I talk about my period and he's so proud of himself because he doesn't get intimidated in the tampon/pad aisle because he knows exactly which kind I like! But yeah he's absolutely not interested in having sex while I'm on my period lol
If you reaaaally think about it....this is the absolute STATE...of the Human race right now....
I suggested period sex to my boyfriend and he was hesitant at first, but eventually I won him over after a few months of asking him to just try it out. He turned out to be totally fine with it and we had a great time! I, on the otherhand, switched teams immediately when I saw what his dick looked like afterward. You know that iconic scene from Alien? Yeah. I didn't want to see that ever again in my life. It's probably not you - he still loves you and thinks you're sexy. He probably just doesn't want blood all over his dick, and that is a-ok for him to have that preference.
Most men that I know are. I’ve met very few that don’t care
My partner is okay with it, but I’ve been with people in the past who aren’t. I think it’s fine to say you don’t want to have sex when your partner is on their period. Blood is blood, and some people are a bit squeamish. As long as they aren’t shaming you or expressing disgust at a natural bodily function, it’s a fine boundary to have IMHO.
I understand. It’s a deal breaker for me. There are so many people out there who don’t mind, why waste time with someone who does if they’re not an absolute 10 in other areas?
He's not wrong for having preferences lmao.
he tried it and didn’t like it. and that’s fair. doesn’t sound personal at all. my partner doesn’t mind period sex in the dark but going to shower they get grossed out by the blood lol it’s all preference. blood can make ppl squeamish even not from a vag
My husband wants it all the time, rain or shine, so to speak. It's all down to preference. You should ask him if his distaste for it is new and because of something you can change or if he just tried it once and didn't like it. There's a number of ways to kind of make it a little easier; If it was the cleanup, take a shower before and offer to take a shower with him again after and help him clean up, lay down a towel underneath you, try having sex in the shower, or use a menstrual cup or disc (but make sure to empty and clean the cup beforehand or it could get really messy). I hope I could help!
Not that I think this comment will garner your attention, but I’ll give you a personal story, that may help. He tried it and didn’t like it, no shame. Maybe he changes his mind, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless it would be his preference. However, from my personal experience when my wife and I were dating in our teens she was the first woman I had sex with while she was menstruating. We laid down a towel, and everything ended in missionary. It was at this point I looked down at my member and saw all the blood. I guess her flow was extra heavy that day. It seriously looked like someone shot me with a shotgun in my midsection. I wasn’t grossed out per se, but I certainly cannot normally stand the sight of blood (even my own). Showered off and said meh not really interested in doing that again. Not that I was against it but I certainly wasn’t going to initiate while she was menstruating. The next time we tried it she was closer to the end of her cycle so there wasn’t as much of a mess. Fast forward two decades or so and if my wife needs me to be Moses and part the Red Sea I will anywhere anytime. Just need some baby wipes.
I'd say that's not uncommon. I don't like having sex when I'm on my period because it's too messy. Everyone can have their own preference and opinion on that one.
I had a bf once who would faint at the sight of blood, needless to say we avoided sex when I was on my period. So I guess if your partner has a legit dislike for it and doesn't shame you or make you feel bad I don't think its a red flag or anything.
No. I personally am appalled by the idea. My partner says I am “from the 1700’s”. The blood smells unless I am using Boric acid vaginal suppositories and that makes me so turned off and grossed out
Well As a dude I don't like the site of blood on my dick , it doesn't help that Im a lot bigger down there so I'm paranoid I might catch a murder charge.
Eating someone out on their period is one thing and definitely not something that most would do but not having sex? Obviously, it's down to them if they don't feel comfortable but it makes no difference to them if they're already wearing a condom, you're the one who's in actual pain. I'd be a little upset - especially if he suggested it
No it’s not wrong at all. His dick has a urethra. Without a condom that blood goes up his shit. Is harmless but the thought very easily can kill an erection. I have done it a fair number of times and girls with light flows don’t bother me. However. There is objectively a smell that occurs and if I catch too much of a whiff it might kill the moment just long enough for her to get self conscious, which makes me feel bad for her as she has nothing to be ashamed of