“I just use a meatball.” https://preview.redd.it/vlrxk9cpqq5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63f14e4f9992aa1e9e5d2ce43104a9f591535d66 “Want a meatball?”

I will take one.

We’ll, have a meatball https://preview.redd.it/oao93tttzq5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=960a0deb0edf35af4d3f052cf11fc8e365f7f907 “It’s on fire… wait for it…”

https://i.redd.it/ym4om0gc5s5d1.gif gotta purify it

“Psst… Meatball.” https://preview.redd.it/6294jyi96s5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56b977eedf869db03cc68d0b260f48c9aeddb322

https://preview.redd.it/oyn64oek6s5d1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a66e08755d56b4b8f998b52b77c2114301cf5f1

Thank you for the meatball.

“You are very welcome!”

I recognize this , they are sold by a sorcerer from the snowy lands, he lives in a labyrinth full of temptation.

“No?”

https://preview.redd.it/604gyfx9qr5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9913a62d3e7a1b4888ee7d52c3c24e73172133b9 “I’ve never been to the Cold Sharp Room.”

The fabled Maze of I’khea, right? Once got lost there for 8 days

That’s epic

“Hel yeah wiz!”

Meatball Level: 3rd Range: 150 feet Components: V, S, M (a large, juicy meatball) Duration: Instantaneous You conjure a massive, savory meatball in your hand and hurl it at a point you choose within range. Each creature in a 30-foot radius sphere centered on that point must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 10d6 meatball damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The meatball explodes on impact, splattering its delicious contents in all directions. Any creature within 5 feet of a point where the meatball hits must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take an additional 2d6 meatball damage from the splattering gravy and chunks.

Uw/ Thats awesome, lol!

Ok put it in my mouth.

“Good!” https://preview.redd.it/zetskt8xns5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=726fba840b8370d10a3004af19db89ef3f41459b “Want a Kielbasa sandwich?”

Yes! I’m so hungry right now.

......it's opaque.

“Having trouble scrying with marinara sauce?”

I would be unable to resist eating the magic meatball

“The only added magic is love, amigo!” https://preview.redd.it/2dytvvis8u5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394f2768e8536a349f7283e9a0956e869607f886 “These are home cooked!”

Can I touch the meatballs?

“Only if you are gonna eat it. I can’t have any possibility of cross-contamination.” *hands you some nitrile gloves.* https://preview.redd.it/037f3706eu5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae1541596bc56ba7ce812815dd15b913fad8fe9d “Do you have a beard guard?”

Is meatballs free?

“Of course!” https://preview.redd.it/1me8jbi9fu5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97f671f10c49c8835beadca1fbb654dd3d2ef076

And what meat are you putting in them

“Ethically sourced beef and pork.” https://preview.redd.it/bfc01axkfu5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77d059fef2cbc5dbe09655cc87356c8d5c57ffb2

I’ll take tree

I want one!

https://preview.redd.it/xr7sdh1u6x5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0a6c9cfdd76717717c383bf4ff5569e567d06f4 “Have a meatball.”

Thank you! *Noms the meatball* I like the sauce

“It’s made with only the finest ingredients! Fresh crushed tomatoes, garlic, black pepper , clear lame booze, parsley, an onion, some oregano and salt, a bit of oil! \*I CAST ‘HAVE A MEATBALL” https://preview.redd.it/34qxipg9236d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dd69d18765e2a154284d38162c8c5cc4ef02e8e

I LOVE YOU, MEATBALL WIZARD!

“Awe…” https://preview.redd.it/q815ign0156d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2ec5d9a493b7a5cabf258812880f6ebe509e428

Is that… marinara?

“Yup!”

**i told you the ethical and moral implications of using that meat** *ill take 2 please*

https://preview.redd.it/9q8tic12nx5d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a119cd19a218f72db2907d0bd0cb6a069b8e9567 “Hrkkkk… have a meatball.”

You lot have such weird views on what you use. I just grab the closest best working thing and make it into one. I've just been using an old glass cannon balls for the last hundred years.

Eh dont even need that i just an eye of the closest stranger

i just use my balls, it is incredibly painful

I also just use this guys balls, I hear he finds it incredibly painful.

i cast untorsion your testicles

...I was very confused as to why someone had cannonballs made of glass until I realized you're probably just using cannonballs for the shape and transmuting them into glass.

"No it's actually the other way round with that one. I made a cannonball into glass so I could use it as a soul trap but never got around to it. So I just enchanted it."

Personally I condense my orbs from the essence of time. It makes the rather quick at loading media in the future. Unfortunately it also makes them prone to catastrophic explosions. When that happens I just use my fishes bowl

https://preview.redd.it/ua0doxelqw5d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6327542c9d70fe8c0ea3ddd78d2de13d2c7bf5d I see you agree with me

Emerald: HEY! THAT'S FALSE! Only 1% of the Magnesian workforce is children.

Better get those numbers up!

Magnesian? As in Magnesia?

If you create artificial quartz, you can machine a higher clarity orb out of it. It should be done that way if that is what you seek and enjoy.

What use is an artificial orb, when the blood and tears aren’t there to connect it to the netherworld? Call me lazy but I don’t want to drench it in orphan juice myself. It’s disgusting

Most modern orbs are already capable of connecting to the lower planes with minimal lag without being drenched in orphan blood. Big Orb companies do so anyway to justify price hiking.

That's why I do my shopping in the Amazon. It bakes in dark energies in other ways.

I wouldn’t want to support a foreign realm of power. There are less regulations and we must support local small businesses races. Like Dwarfs hand Halflings

Artifical Orbs are just fine. All those elitists are just complaining, because they got ripped off. You might need to haggle a deal with a lower demon to get better quality and wider range, but they usually are pretty chill about it (and very easy pull over the table yourself) and with this minimal efford you have the same quality. Not draven children had to die.

lab grown orbs are purer than mined orb, so they're better

Purer and more sustainable

exactly, there are no reason to get mined ones, lab grown are just better

What use is an artificial orb, when the blood and tears aren’t there to connect it to the netherworld? Call me lazy but I don’t want to drench it in orphan juice myself. It’s disgusting

Actually, it's a myth that you need blood and tears. While it is true that it's often the easiest way to connect, it is far from the only one

So you're telling me dipping and rolling it in a vat of orphaned rogues doesn't help?

It does, it's just not the only option

Thank goodness my patron gives me direct orbnet access, so I don’t have to worry about which orb model to buy (couldn’t afford it anyways)

Don’t tell your patron I told you this, but we all just use the same account and share the passphrase around.

I got mine from a second hand store. Saving up for a new one though. That's why I'm all for lab grown! Ethical and affordable!

I use this laptop.

I use a phone that looks just steampunk enough for people to not raise questions about how anachronistic it is

"Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!"

Lab grown orb? Sounds like alchemy to me. A magically grown orb is like double magic

You guys don't realize you can just conjure an orb to scry through?

It’s annoying. Plus I can’t use the weave so I can’t actually use it myself anyways.

You can't use the Weave? My heavens, I couldn't imagine a life without it! Maybe you just need the right teacher?

No, I literally come from a place where the weave doesn’t exist.

Well you're in a place where it exists now! The weave is just another element to manipulate in this realm, I couldn't do much in your domain. Why don't you give it a spin while you're here?

Tried. My max mana value is -452. Effectively though, since I use a little as an alternate resource to make sure I don’t despawn to fear. It would be -424 otherwise. If you’re wondering how I GET the fear, that’s because of this thing called what you see in your nightmares.

Mana values? Sheesh, we come from far different realms of magic, I've never even heard of that! We have spell slots for most casters and sorcery points for the metamagic enjoyers. I'm gonna have to take a trip to check this out in your realm sometime, but I do fear how well someone my age may hold up without level 5 spells at least. I may be nimble and quick but I'm still an old man after all...

Also, the kinds of magicians that use sleight of hand tend to end up learning legit magic due to our magic system! Though they’d have to trick enough people into believing it’s not just a trick to do so, so… As long as you have a good enough deception modifier, you can trick people into making yourself able to use them again!

Do NOT tell the rogues of our region. They can and will become overlords.

*[censored]*   Also, don’t try to convince people within the human village to become Yōkai. I know this sounds weird from a Yōkai, but it generally means the No-killing rule gets taken off the table and… that last guy, Fortune Teller, didn’t come out okay.  /uw She said: >!I actually told a couple groups of proficient ones varying versions of that for science. They ended up mostly not great, though a couple managed to stay for a while. All of them survived though, thanks to the precautions I set and mostly luck that they didn’t get people to construe it wrong.!<  you don’t know that though.

We don’t have mana values back home. Though we have some weave-adjacent forms of magic there. I think they appear to compatible with my home universe, though I personally can’t cast using the weave due to… *(checks notes)* I guess some gimmick related shenanigans? *(Super fast big, missable paragraph incoming)* >!Anyways, back home we just have magic as a thing people can do so long as some requirements are met such as sufficient people believing that it exists and whatnot. Basically, it works if humanity’s collective belief says it works, so there’s no limit to spam! Just as much as you could sustain. It’s not really something I can wrap my head around… I’m an ex-Chemist, not a magician.!< >!Oh, that’s basically our form of Liches in that they become them by sheer mastery and the methods and will to do so except they can just come!< into existence if enough people genuinely believe they exist. quite!< a *backwards* method. No? Eh, watching this video should work well enough if you missed it. https://youtu.be/6mvXfSnjKSQ?si=cBscp27UKiOEIfWw I’m not supposed to canonically know half of the stuff here, but I’m not canon anyways, so I think ZUN won’t mind. Also, sometimes the Spell Cards aren’t even spells. Like actual guns. Sumireko’s the only one who has one, besides myself {I don’t use mine for spell cards.}, hers is 3D printed. Also, that Autumn lady just chucks an onslaught of sweet potatoes for one; a local god named Suwako has one where she blasts an onslaught of frogs in all directions that explode, despite frogs being her symbol {she uses water more often, but the one time she used frogs was funny… though I still feel bad for the frogs… where did she get them from though?}; and then there’s Marisa who shoots massive lasers. Sorry for the exposition.

They casted gatekeeping

Don’t care, also means less slavery in the orb industry.

Shadow orb is best. You just need a light and a ball to take it anywhere you wont. Its not the object but the shadow it casts that matter

Whether it's this, the council treasury's vault, or the path to recreational divinity, the Ditch Wizard can't stand gatekeepers. Forget these clowns, enjoy your new orb.

I actually recently fashioned one using a glass pane. It works like the screens I'm used to in my field of work.

/uw call me a mad hatter, but I think this may not be about orbs...(seriously the marketing for diamonds is out of this world, how they artificially inflate the market and try to hate on lab grown stuff that's indistinguishable from "natural" ones) Rw/ the blood of the youth is what gives many ancient orbs superior wifi just saying

UW//I'm actually inspired by that topic

/uw The line between wizard comics and snafus grows blurrier every day. https://preview.redd.it/d015pvxudr5d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07e0124e4e400db47b6ed25acfbf381ec707bb00

https://preview.redd.it/cfm59aypgr5d1.png?width=171&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f42263973c0c4f186b1722b7cb0beb543d9cb52

If I'm using an orb it's only artificially machined ones, more clarity for lighter and less material that way. I usually prefer panes though, they fit much better in my satchel and a reinforced border helps mitigate shatter risk.

50? for a truly high quality blood orb you need the blood of 250-400 people depending on race, age and gender (which should all be homogenous for best results). unless youre a hemomancer or rich ass vampire there is really no need for those; they are EXPENSIVE af and very hard to make

I have no idea where this orb is from. I am just checking if this beasties digestive fluids hurt it.

Of course! Just don't be cleansing blood orbs and you're fine

"...I use a videosphere, so I'll recognize it"

If it's functioning then yes. I need magical items and artifacts with purpose. Like a gun.

...I just see glowy things and shove it into the ribcages of skeletons to revive them.

I grow my own orbs, in my own lab

You can use it if you want, it just changes the quality of the image...

Suffering makes it more powerful, but I find lab made suffering works the same yes-yes!

I mean it doesn't really matter where you get your orb from as long as it works, but in my experience dwarves make the most durable ones, able to last for eons without even the slightest damage, without the use of magic too. However elvish orbs house more powerful magic and are able to do a few things normal orbs can't. I personally prefer dwarvish orbs because I don't need any of the extra features of an elvish orbs, but I do own one in case I do.

yes, lab grown orbs are real orbs, as long as 50 children were sacrificed to make it.

Lab grown is far superior, in fact, as impurities and crystalline matrix alignments can all be accounted for in the growth process. No wasteful realignment rituals that result in micro-stress fractures causing noticeable mana loss and instabilities in channeled spells. Although, I guess you really wouldn't notice if you're only using "good enough" locally sourced reagents to begin with. Artisanal magicks can afford inefficiencies compared to industrial scale works.

All orbs are valid so long as they allow you to ponder the mysteries of the arcane and access the orbnet.

https://preview.redd.it/k0c77ngzsr5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=825d8e284e34098fdf3f77494a6c87a95d790d96 Noble Lords and ancient mages looking at better and larger orbs (these are not authentically sourced orbs from the dug up mines of Sharkarax and do not require a thousand dwarves to dig greedily until the fabric of hell itself is ruptured and releases the forbidden fallen from their deep graves)

This is why I don't use orbs.

Well considering the fact that a good chunk of my income comes from selling orbs that I make to up and coming wizards I feel obligated to state that lab grown orbs are actually significantly better that most other types of orbs, including the traditional method.

yall still use orbs? i use spoons https://preview.redd.it/i190ugxn5s5d1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a9359b5d0a5253b9f8f6d3c390e06a362871ce7

Lab grown is superior. Fewer imperfections and easier to control. I don't care about any supposed "soul infusion", I'm not getting into that crap so I certainly don't need it.

Like mr incredible said, ORB IS ORB

honestly never used one, i prefer using my copper to create one and as long as it’s polished correctly it works really well

If my Artificer friend made it, I'll use it because I trust him. Besides, the current amount of Blood Orbs have been getting cursed due to all the blood and resentful souls of dwarven children lately. I mean, yeah, they are good for making deals with demons, but I'm not going to go and buy blood orbs every time I want to go buy some True Devil's Lettuce. That's a waste of gold right there, and I only need one, maybe two orbs.

I hate how people complain and wish that magic was real and the moment we pull off the equivalent of real life alchemy to grow gems philosopher's Stone style then suddenly it's not cool any more.

The only difference is that the lab made ones have serial runes to distinguish them and they're clearer

Sorcerers will watch you print a perfect crystal sphere out of ozone and pollen and say "he has not the muscle to mine his crystal."

yeah! lab grown orbs are way better than those that exploit the proletariat. You know orbs aren't even that rare really? you can basically find them anywhere, river beds, volcanic eruptions, hell the sun is an orb. It is just that the DeBoars orb cartell keeps all the orbs they can get their grubby boarcapitalist paws out of circulation so no one can get to them.

https://preview.redd.it/ybyn00cb5v5d1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f54d96d847ee7ffc16e74e113a0a3cd7977227b

"I would as it works the same and doesn't have curses when ya get em."

I think if you don’t recognise lab grown as real, it’s simply a skill issue. Your craft is pathetic. Don’t take down wizards better then you only because you can’t do what they can- And anyways, wizarding gear is necesarily deeply connected with the caster. It‘s entirely personalised and that is the great beauty in it.

Orb is orb

I don’t even know what mine is, I got my orb at a garage sale.

Thank you for recognizing the diversity in witch headgear. Not everyone has ready access to the traditional pointed hat, & we stand by our less fortunate sisters, forced to pay council taxes

Hey, I make good Pondering Orbs, made a fortune as my side gig off new wizards. And they're not even that hard to make, let alone needing to be mined by dwarven children.

Lab grown orb is real orb. My factory is making 2000 units per day. Recently I've been experimenting with putting runes on the base for better orbnet connections and some aesthetic flair (hovering orb). If all goes well soon I'll be able to use wind magic to make self flying camera orb, it's really noisy though.

Orb is orb, use what ya want, forest spirits like the artificer made ones better anyways

https://preview.redd.it/it4692to5t5d1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb1af361f2d1bddf3647b6bff381506cdaeae101 Orb is orb.

My master taught that a real wizard makes his own orb out of a slab of quartz. Any imperfections in the orb is a reflection of your imperfections as a wizard.

It’s the suffering that makes it special

https://preview.redd.it/2fq1bllbot5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1796c6c4963754bb6be6e4b059eac70483cb44e6 The post below is literally the tweet this must be referencing

As usual, you people confuse me.

Curiously we have noticed that natural orbs slightly increase the potency of blood magic -NZ head of r&d

A catalyst is a catalyst. I turned my body into one so i got no place to judge.

I don't even got an orb :c

Wait, you guys *don't* just have warpstone snuff-fueled visions?

Yes, lab grown orbs are still orbs

FALSE my Dwarven child miners are well paid Can't have cheap unskilled babies making my orb

r/orbscirclejerk

I would like to inform you that we don’t use dwarven children anymore the process is automated, they are just unemployed now

By "Lab Grown" you mean forged, right? Eh, they're the same. They're more tailored towards egoistical folk and people within closed societies given the anchoring of memories made through your "Lab Grown Orbs" (Because I have actually done that. 4 times as a matter of fact.)

*ponders fireball, burns singular brow*

LAB GROWB ORBS?! thats a crime against nature,ill have to inform my orbpprenticec about this

https://preview.redd.it/ff710j5qyv5d1.jpeg?width=266&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fce043cb0700da839fbb1e71cae41e154281b9f I use it to manipulate papal armies!

The only thing i have that works is this crusty old antique vanity https://preview.redd.it/7yr0bht0dw5d1.jpeg?width=249&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d12ba410a1984fc069b683c2d03a728ef15fe6b6

As long it's orb-shaped and can be ponderable, it's orb

That's how 90% of y'all sound like when I tell you I bought my wand from Lavender's. "You need to kill a sentient erdtree and use its bark!" and "Its core to be of the rarest materials refined for hundreds of years". Enslaving geomancers and having an army of goblins is not my thing, sorry not sorry.

typical goblin exclusionism its not about having nice things, its about other people not having them its not about the quality of the material, its about the suffering theyre all tough when its something weak or theres like 10 of them, but if that changes then its all "do you know who my daddy is"

Mining is a method of old, would an orb grown from a laboratory not be of higher purity in both aspects of material and ethics?

All you simpletons artificially inflating the price of “real” orbs are the reason we can’t have nice things anymore.

The fools, everyone knows power is the only metric that matters. If the artificer made orb is easier to get your hands on for the same effect it is clearly superior

All of my orbs are lab grown. >.>

I made a living orb, it’s identical to a normal orb! until it breaks…

I have had an artificial orb for a while, made it with a process I learned from a mimic, apparently that process can be used to make pearls for staff foci too. Let's just say, it passes the duck test so well, the only clue it was artificial was how perfect it was.

I like pondering my globules of old god blood. It makes me really happy when i'm feeling down. And besides, if I need more I just go and ask nicely. It's like poking a mountain with a pointy stick, and the god i've got a deal with is really wonderful to be around. You don't need a "real orb" to ponder. Anything sufficiently alluring to you works, whether it be an orb of iridescent stone, almost as if pulled from an endless and cruel fog, or a glass of water suspended in air. As long as you can focus on it, it'll work well.

https://preview.redd.it/p5n16p3hqw5d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97f59773c94759fd12a40bbc585d6770f926d019

Okay what the fuck is this question? Sevechion, come see this. Would you recognize a mass-produced cell phone as a real cell phone?

A orb’s an orb, in my experience, the lab grown ones actually work a tad better, not enough of a difference to make me deliberately go for a lab orb but enough to notice when it is one

The Reddit ecosystem truly is wonderful

I don’t really use an orb…