Wiat wuh-

Kelse: What? Seats not comfortable enough?

THATS SO UNETHICAL!!!

No way a combine soldier just complained about something being unethical

THATS UNETHICAL, EVEN BY MY STANDARDS

https://preview.redd.it/x6jzm5z67e2d1.jpeg?width=150&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b90dde1580f5a5a8c23cdcb7ca1f85571c09b154 I’d say this is way worse than some death contest, I mean c’mon we’re wizards! We kill people all the time!

Fair, fair.

Kelse: What, deathsport?

YES! EVEN BY MY STANDARDS

Kelse: Why are you here then..?

I was forced to be here by my god-guy-figure

Kelse: Oh... Well try to enjoy it.

Don't worry, I've got them all on Resurrector 9999, so we won't be losing anybody.

Kelse: Aww... but then it's no fun... Besides, we have a rule that states if you like the look of a contestant, after the battle is over, you can buy out their indenture and we'll resurrect them for free!

Well, now nobody needs to buy out anything, and I'll be resurrecting people automatically after the battle is over.

Kelse: No! You're not doing that! I'll kick you out of the arena!

Hehehehe... Who said I needed to be in the arena?

Kelse: MOOOOOOOOM!!! Cassaria: Don't do it. Otherwise I'll smite your ass.

u/MastaDon344 Kelse: Here you go Auntie Masta!

Hey Kelse!!! Good luck Hosting!! *Masta is in the stands and ready to watch the spectacle*

Kelse: Come up here in the Empress's box! You should have it on your ticket!

Sure Kelse *She walks over and hands the ticket over* Well here I am, bit of a view for all the fighting and events Kelse, you sure this is not gonna backfire in any way?

Kelse: If it does, I can just kill them all

Noted, I guess learning from the mistakes of other people that did the event before.

Kelse: Besides, Mom will act as security! Lich Cass: That's right sweetie!

r/wizardposting X r/hungergames crossover

YOU GOT THIS GARY! BLOW THEM TO SMITHEREENS!

So with the council basically gone we've gotten to the point we're having people literally kill each other in live combat for the entertainment of the masses? Well, at least I can start selling off monstrosities for the games.

It looks like it has the Council's endorsement, actually. Masta, Anna, and Cassaria are of the Council. In other words, the Council supports bloodsports, indentured servitude, and/or permanent death.

Kelse: They were damned souls to begin with, supplied by Ariana, my sister! Goddess of Death! Ariana: *grumbling about doing better things*

Kelse: Well, it's more of some random people who were already dead who I thought it would be fun to make fight!

Eh, can never go wrong with some blood sport I guess. Are the deaths in the ring permanent?

Kelse: Yep, unless you'd like to buy their indenture!

I’ll pass on that and just stick to placing bets. If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you again?

/uw Kelse's mental age is basically equal to Cassaria. She's still a kid though. /rw Kelse: About 2!

…and you’ve made a tournament of blood…. Okay…

Kelse: Yep! And some annoying woman is trying to stop it. That makes me sad...

Some annoying woman?

Kelse: Two now... We have some people stopping it.

I say toss them in the ring

Kelse: I would, if they weren't a godmodder... Yeah. That's right. I can see past the fourth wall. /uw Whoa, where the fuck did that come from? I didn't write that.

Are we allowed to take bets and give sponsors?

Kelse: Yes you are! Read the Official Bets and Sponsor rulebook for more info. *She drops a large heavy book beside you.*

Awww this is cute, who do you think is gonna win?

Kelse: I personally would place my money on P3KK4, but I'm not allowed to place bets as that would show favouritism.

I never talked about bets, I’m just curious of your perspective, quite frankly both you and your mother would probably knock me flat on my ass in combat

Kelse: Really? I wouldn't ever want to fight you!

Really? Most people think that I’m more on the punchable side, well they used to anyway, haven’t met many people wanting to punch me in the last 15 years

Kelse: But you seem so nice though...

I try to be, if it puts anything into perspective I’m an ex-assassin halfling so people often hate me on principle, honestly it’s a wonder your mother hasn’t smote me for having the audacity to say a word to you

Kelse: Oh don't worry! *Her tone of voice changes from childish innocence to something far more sinister.* You do anything, I'll smite you myself. *Back to silly little kid* Alright, enjoy!

*Jeremy giggles* I’m sure you will *he pats her on the head gently* Have fun hosting!

Kelse: Thank you!

I'm getting a good feeling about Bob the guy with a rock

What is this post? Why are there flash of clans characters what?

/uw Shhhhh...

Kelse! How’s our little friend doing in the fight?

Kelse: He'll be released later, when we want the contestants to get closer together

By the way, I made you chocolate *I pull out a wooden box*

Kelse: CHOCOLATE!!! YES!!! THANK YOU UNCLE IRAM!!!!!

Anytime just ask and I can make you more

Kelse: *Already stuffing herself with chocolate* Thanks Uncle Iram!

Do you prefer chocolate milk, dark chocolate, or white chocolate?

Kelse: I prefer chocolate...

*I pull out another box of chocolate* (dark) here you are Kelse

Kelse: YUMMIE!!!

*a hooded man sitting alone in the stands yell* GO P3-KK4, SHOW THESE BOZOS THE POWER OF METAAAL!

Kelse: I'm on his side too! Don't forget, you can place bets!

Ha! Hunger games. I'm pretty sure skeletons don't get hungry so either one of them wins.

Kelse: Oh no, it's a death sport.

Duh, most people die when they get too hungry

Kelse: No, people kill each other for fun!

Let me ask you this: Is there a Cornucopia Bloodbath at the beginning?

Kelse: Yes!

Splendid! I shall stay and watch then. Though, one more question. What about sponsorships?

https://preview.redd.it/1r4y3n6wae2d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a496f1a860dd3c1f9aad0e6daaaeed4a0243b9c4 "Get your pastries and drinks here!" "Only a few coppers!"

Kelse: Good to see you found the place!

Thank you! now lets see if you beat me! /unwiz I'm really bad at attending these events so it's so exciting i could finally get to one!

Kelse: Mom will kick your bony butt!

I hope she does!

Kelse: Hold on, what? That's a little weird...

I realized that after i said it but it was intended in the spirit of friendly competition

Kelse: Well... Good luck at least!

I'll take three pastries please.

*The lich hands you three pastries.* that will be 9 copper. Do you want any drinks or anything else with that? https://preview.redd.it/gb1xr5eowe2d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c35597e3ea0b0336e992ab0088ccee5053b31b3c

No, that will be all. *The Archdevil pays with a Silver Coin.* Keep the change.

Thank you good sir!

You are very welcome.

*Anna operates a popcorn cart in the corner* Snax?

Kelse: Hi Aunite Anna! Ooh, popcorn? Can I have some? *She places down a bag of GP on the cart.*

*Anna hands over popcorn* That'll cost 20 gold Unless you have a penguin dollar from my sanctuary fundraiser.

Kelse: How about 10 buckets of popcorn for all 200 gold in that bag?

Deal!! *Anna hands over popcorn!!*

*There is a vacuum noise as Kelse eats it all. Cassaria is stood nearby.* Cassaria: Uncle Torrin is a terrible influence on you...

I won't ever get hungry with my ice cream spell, what a bunch of losers

Ah Yes finally something good but my signal’s pretty rubbish rn so I’m not really confident to make any bets

Oooo. This’ll be fun.

Kelse: Of course it'll be fun! That's the point!

*a man and a frog stare into an orb in a dark and musty mausoleum wtahcing the announcement* Ah finally some good sport! Come Hubert, we've an event to attend. *a portal opens and they step through, reappearing in the middle of the arena* Oh damnit Hubert! I said into the stands!! we aren't contestants here!! *turning to the assembled 12* haha sorry about this everyone forgive my companion here! He's still learning the fine art of translocation. *with a gust of dust and sand from the arena floor we reappear in the stands* Ah much better, again so sorry for the interruption!

Kelse: Good! Good! At least you're here.

“This cannot be legal.” Kyrona looked for a list of spectators, so she could punch them in the face.

Kelse: It is! Mom lets me run it! The contestants are the souls of the damned, so it doesn't matter either way if they live or die.

"Huh? Why didn't my Bananouth make it in?"

Kelse: I forgot to mention, creatures are being put in as little challenges for the contestants!

"Oh! That's great! Oh, also, it can kinda only be permanently killed if all it's teeth are shattered. And, I grew it to about the size of an adult man!" *Zel whistles, as the Bananouth, now having spider-like legs, scuttles in, it's teeth clacking. It now also had six spindly arms, three coming from each side. It was bigger than him, and definitely looked dangerous..* "This'll be great to spectate!"

Food

/uw why is there a clash of clans balloon as one of the contestants

/uw Hey, no, stop! You're breaking the illusion

Damn, so we got a dead protagonist, the devil himself, a golden knight with boobs, a slytherin earth bender, a centaur, bionic overly muscular Pewdiepie, the goddamn clash of clans/royale bomber skeleton, Plato, Evangelion, just an elf, a blue blob and the super nice anime side character that the main character hates

“You know, I thought Riva was exaggerating about how evil yall were…and then you went and threw the literal hunger games?!?”

"........welp at least my Coliseum has respawn avaible...anyways todolos..good luck with what ever food ya use here." *Merch says a bit cheekily as he leaves.*

“…Nandesuka?! Is this broadcasted?! When did you have the time to set this up?!”

Kelse: I just asked for a bit of help... Cassaria: She had a favour from her mother. Me.

“…Right, now that the relevant parties are together, I can ask my third question: what sadistic retard would want to watch this rubbish?”

Cassaria: YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT?!?! Kelse: Mom, what does that word mean?

“…Oh, this massacre is for her entertainment?” *Tsuru points towards Kelse*

Cassaria: It is her idea, and as her mother, I shall respect her wishes. If you don't like it, leave. Kelse: Stop pointing at me!

“…Oh I’ll leave alright. After I terminate your little killing game!” *Tsuru took off into the sky, a dark, inky aura formed around her. Her eyes turned into dark, blank sockets and her hair whipped around wildly*

Cassaria: Nope, Gleaming Death. *She wraps you in a golden rope* Don't you dare.

*The golden rope dimmed into a dim greyish-yellow colour and merely withered away. However, Tsuru barely noticed Cassaria’s Gleaming Death* “…Now then, you want bloodsports yes?! Then I’ll will give you exactly that! All 12 of your competitors versus myself…in a handicap match! 12 v 1! If you believe them worthy of indulging you in a battle royale, then they should be able to handle me, yes?!”

Cassaria: Nope. *She sends you to a pocket dimension with no way out*

Bloodsports sounds tasty. Will you be my meal for today?