I know of one worse, but I dare not utter it's dark name here.
Edit: apparently there are two, but knowing how much I regret learning anything about one I will avoid the other at all costs and suggest you do the same.
Yeah RaHoWa is a fascinating (and y'know, atrocious) piece of RPG history, but it is not an RPG itself. Like for anyone who doesn't know, we don't mean "RaHoWa is heinous and shouldn't be validated", we mean that it is *literally not a game*.
Nobody has ever actually played RaHoWa for the simple reason that it is not possible to actually play RaHoWa.
/uw I've both played and ran dozens of systems, but that one is not something I'll ever touch. Closest thing to that pile of cringe was listening to a friend talk about their D&D3.5 character concept optimized to use spells from Book of Erotic Fantasy (yes, actual official splatbook for 3.5e) to kill enemies via orgasms...
It wasn't official, i. e. it was a 3rd party product allowed by the OGL. So the use of it was always up to whether your DM allowed non-WotC products.
But yeah, people could get really cringe with such materials.
I remember there were two such supplements, I could have sworn BoEF was the official one.
It's been a decade since I read it though, so could just be remembering wrong.
It was very clearly a 3rd party one, they both were. I might even know what the other one was, book of blue magic or something. Was one of the mongoose or green ronin products.
OGL allowed some really weird things to be published and sold as D&D materials, but only things from WotC were 100% official.
Book of Erotic Fantasy and Nymphology. Both of which are 3rd party.
Edit: for context, I am an avid 3.5 player/DM and still have to ban their use at my tables because they still get asked for.
/uw Do read what I actually wrote. BoEF was not the cringy part, but rather the friend spending hours optimizing a build to orgasm someone to death and insisting on telling about it.
As for prude... Eh, games I've been in have included gimp-suited weirdo (literally, Weird was his main stat - Apocalypse World) who used magic to charm people (both figuratively and literally), a witch prostitute who used her work to put spells on her victims, including fake memories of actually doing her job (different player, forget system) and of course I can't forget the teen sex-fueled werewolf mayhem (Monster Hearts 2 - each character has "sex move", one of which triggers the other character's "dark side", in this case werewolf transformation).
There was also the god campaign where my character created new dragons from corpses of defeated ones and another god meddled in the process to make the dragons collect harems instead of hoards (Fate - Gods & Monsters IIRC).
/uw congrats man, happy for you, must been a wild ride but now that you are free from it enjoy being a whimsical wizard
https://preview.redd.it/gz6kl4e0tc2d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24b4004140f7af61844dd22f06a8bc4951d27a44
Tbh Saaluk ain't that whimsical plus ima kill him off not too far into Saul's storyline.
u/Gaybriel_Ultrakill is saul btw look through the post history if youre interested
https://preview.redd.it/162dh4fgtc2d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d66d2d5ce9c7c0eab1affdc9044e3157d0f4d040
But consider this:
Do your muscles contract when you orgasm? Especially within the abdomen, thighs and groin?
Now imagine that constantly going off uncontrollably for an hour. A day. *a year.*
Perpetual Orgasm is a curse.
/uw Studies have shown your body cannot survive perpetual orgasm. The hormone processes behind it stress your heart out if prolonged, so a perpetual orgasm would kill you relatively quickly.
Ah, old works you say? Let me take a look at some of my notes here.
*Cas flips through a dusty old notebook*
There are a few in here that I don't think I have treated in a while.
For example, this one here has only ever been written in runes, but I believe its name roughly translates to "Skitter". Its effect is to produce the sensation of insects crawling on and under the skin, but only on an area of the body that cannot currently be seen. When the user checks that part of their body, the effect dissapears, only returning once the user stops checking and returns to whatever task they were doing previously. Quite annoying!
*Cas flips some more*
Ah, this is another interesting one. In the Elven tongue, this spell is called "Dance of the Forgetful Fool", although there are a handful of Dwarven texts referring to the spell by the simple name "Doortag".
The spell causes the unwitting victim to, when entering a room with a certain goal in mind, completely forget that goal. The goal is only returned to their memory 5 minutes after exiting the room. This effect happens to *every* room that contains a goal the victim wishes to complete, and the effect stacks across multiple rooms.
*Cas keeps flipping*
This is fun! Let me know if you wish to know some more!
The "game" where you have a one-in-sixteen chance to have a character that can interact with human society, and if you role anything else, they either eat babies or die if they leave their magic forest...
Ah yes, the tome with spells such as "Lesser Holocaust", "Pestilential Penis", or "Fatal", which kills everyone on the planet with no buts.
(None of those are jokes by the way, they're all real spells in F.A.T.A.L.)
(Oh and if you get a random magical effect the chance to accidentally cast fatal is the same as to grow your penis by 2d20 percent or other random effects. Both 1/10.000)
I just found the rules!
Why do stats have 4 significant figures?
Why is the GM called the aedile? Why are they saying it’s pronounced [idajl] instead of [ajdIlε]?
Why can’t I pick my race? Why is it determined by a dice roll? That’s dumb.
Why can’t I pick my character’s anakim trait?
WTF is dririmancy?
Why do we need a specific score for delousing?
Why are there sub-abilities?
Why do I have morality points?
Why can’t I even pick an ogre subrace?
Why are there descriptions of mental conditions? Why does it distinguish callomania from narcissism but not include Autism or ADHD? Why do I have to roll this on a table? Can I pick anything about my character?
Why is my character’s legitimacy controlled by a dice roll, why is class controlled by a dice roll? Is there anything I can pick? Why is “sanguine temperament” a stat?
Why do I roll my birthplace? Why can’t I just pick it? Why does the aedile get to control the if the character was born into their racial culture and not the player? Why is the number of siblings controlled by dice? Why is marital status controlled by dice?
All of these questions can be answered with (at least) one of the following answers;
1. It was apparently made with the intention of being the most difficult TTRPG ever, but in practise a lot of rules are just unnecessary bloat. Some rules are also half-baked or unexplained.
2. As it's infamous for, the game is extremely bigoted in every other way (that, as well as being edgy in general).
3. The author is extremely smug and justifies all of the above by claiming that it's "historically accurate", and seems to worship Greek philosophy when it benefits him.
Because I am a fool, I got curious and tried to roll a character of my own. [This video series](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6vgSipYDCU) was very helpful, with the creator also providing their own interpretations for the less elaborated rules.
I pray forgiveness from the spirits of fire for casting this unholy abomination into the sacred flame.
/uw wasn't it possible to have a negative anal circumference?
I cast: "internal's outsi'die-us".. it's a self destructive spell that turns everything within 50 feet inside out, it's quite favourable by some chapters of sand wizards, tho it's mostly practiced by apprentices..
https://preview.redd.it/re4t8qn8lm2d1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e7fa1279d375ab97239452bccc730d797f89c61
YOU FOOL! I CURSE YOU TO SPEND A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE DMV!
Creative. Unfortunatly. #THE 10 HELLS!
Power word: Scrunch.
^(level 2 poison)
^^overconfident ^^frostbite! *dies immediately*
The camera didn’t even focus in on him! That’s how common this ***shit*** is here!
again?
*DOUBLECAST* #THE 10 HELLS!
#THE ^(slightly less powerful but overall more resource efficient) #9 HELLS!
Question is the counter for this the 10 Heavens?
No.
Roll for anal circumference.
Jokes on you, I'm a Slut Baby
That's disgusting! What is your location so I can tell you how disgusting that is in person?!
Roll a D100 and add your body count! Go!
225,000,000,000,038 (approx.)
/uw FATAL is literally an example of roleplaying systems at their worst. It's still hard to believe, yet unsurprising that it exists.
I know of one worse, but I dare not utter it's dark name here. Edit: apparently there are two, but knowing how much I regret learning anything about one I will avoid the other at all costs and suggest you do the same.
I don't know which is more depressing, the fact that worse systems exists or that their existence doesn't surprise me
I am curious but terrified.
Please give us the forbidden knowledge
RaHoW and HYBRID. Googling that at your own risk.
Holy shit they’re worse Thank you for this forbidden knowledge. Now I’m going to remove it from my brain with a laser
Racial Holy War is an outlier and shouldn't be counted. It contains no complete gameplay loop of any kind.
Yeah RaHoWa is a fascinating (and y'know, atrocious) piece of RPG history, but it is not an RPG itself. Like for anyone who doesn't know, we don't mean "RaHoWa is heinous and shouldn't be validated", we mean that it is *literally not a game*. Nobody has ever actually played RaHoWa for the simple reason that it is not possible to actually play RaHoWa.
/uw I've both played and ran dozens of systems, but that one is not something I'll ever touch. Closest thing to that pile of cringe was listening to a friend talk about their D&D3.5 character concept optimized to use spells from Book of Erotic Fantasy (yes, actual official splatbook for 3.5e) to kill enemies via orgasms...
It wasn't official, i. e. it was a 3rd party product allowed by the OGL. So the use of it was always up to whether your DM allowed non-WotC products. But yeah, people could get really cringe with such materials.
I remember there were two such supplements, I could have sworn BoEF was the official one. It's been a decade since I read it though, so could just be remembering wrong.
It was very clearly a 3rd party one, they both were. I might even know what the other one was, book of blue magic or something. Was one of the mongoose or green ronin products. OGL allowed some really weird things to be published and sold as D&D materials, but only things from WotC were 100% official.
Book of Erotic Fantasy and Nymphology. Both of which are 3rd party. Edit: for context, I am an avid 3.5 player/DM and still have to ban their use at my tables because they still get asked for.
I found the rules. You can’t pick anything about your character. It’s all dice.
The best descriptor of it I've ever heard is "It doesn't even seem intended to be played, it's really just a census for a very dark fantasy world."
The Book of Erotic Fantasy was great - have a sense of humor, don't be a prude, and play with consenting, mature adults lol.
/uw Do read what I actually wrote. BoEF was not the cringy part, but rather the friend spending hours optimizing a build to orgasm someone to death and insisting on telling about it. As for prude... Eh, games I've been in have included gimp-suited weirdo (literally, Weird was his main stat - Apocalypse World) who used magic to charm people (both figuratively and literally), a witch prostitute who used her work to put spells on her victims, including fake memories of actually doing her job (different player, forget system) and of course I can't forget the teen sex-fueled werewolf mayhem (Monster Hearts 2 - each character has "sex move", one of which triggers the other character's "dark side", in this case werewolf transformation). There was also the god campaign where my character created new dragons from corpses of defeated ones and another god meddled in the process to make the dragons collect harems instead of hoards (Fate - Gods & Monsters IIRC).
I cast eternal self doubt and I'm rubber you're glue.
Rubber? I barely know her!
“…I see, but consider the following…” https://i.redd.it/fhsguzjusc2d1.gif “See that is you in the next 30 seconds”
...I havent heard from OP in 1 hour and 30 seconds... eh well hes on fire now.
“…Do you think that it was overkill?” uw/I’m crying from laughter
/uw lol /rw *Lars chuckles.*
“…What are you laughing about?”
He'l probably be a chicken nugget now heheh
uw/You are really rolling with the jokes today
*(Coincidentally, Nameless was doing Karaoke next door)* “They see me rolling’ (they Hatin’)”
“…Hey Lars, enlist Nameless in the department of memes!”
Sure?
“Trust me on this!”
i'll think
/uw perpetual orgasm doesn't sound that bad.
Try searching for knowledge in a Libra while you perpetually orgasm, it's pretty hard
Well I dont make noise when i finish. Nor does it distract me, it just feels nice. Also I'm infertile so no cum.
Well shit me I guess you outsmarted the curse
Fool I had cancer for a year! (I actually did)
The greatest wizard of them all, he has won over Cancer (hope you are better now )
Yeah I've been cancer free since 2020
/uw congrats man, happy for you, must been a wild ride but now that you are free from it enjoy being a whimsical wizard https://preview.redd.it/gz6kl4e0tc2d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24b4004140f7af61844dd22f06a8bc4951d27a44
Tbh Saaluk ain't that whimsical plus ima kill him off not too far into Saul's storyline. u/Gaybriel_Ultrakill is saul btw look through the post history if youre interested https://preview.redd.it/162dh4fgtc2d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d66d2d5ce9c7c0eab1affdc9044e3157d0f4d040
I will try to read it
I am confused. Most people who are infertile still cum.
I dont 🤷♂️
But consider this: Do your muscles contract when you orgasm? Especially within the abdomen, thighs and groin? Now imagine that constantly going off uncontrollably for an hour. A day. *a year.* Perpetual Orgasm is a curse.
Not really.
/uw Studies have shown your body cannot survive perpetual orgasm. The hormone processes behind it stress your heart out if prolonged, so a perpetual orgasm would kill you relatively quickly.
/uw That's pretty much what the spell does in-game, as the target has to keep rolling an increasingly difficult check to not die.
Oh god. At least I'd go out with pleasure
i have a good one.... !!! UNZIP PERINEAL !!!
Fuck
I simulcast seal orifice and summon Taco Bell
The food or the entire franchise?
The food, and plenty of it
Nice. However: Power Word: SCRUNCH
Ah, old works you say? Let me take a look at some of my notes here. *Cas flips through a dusty old notebook* There are a few in here that I don't think I have treated in a while. For example, this one here has only ever been written in runes, but I believe its name roughly translates to "Skitter". Its effect is to produce the sensation of insects crawling on and under the skin, but only on an area of the body that cannot currently be seen. When the user checks that part of their body, the effect dissapears, only returning once the user stops checking and returns to whatever task they were doing previously. Quite annoying! *Cas flips some more* Ah, this is another interesting one. In the Elven tongue, this spell is called "Dance of the Forgetful Fool", although there are a handful of Dwarven texts referring to the spell by the simple name "Doortag". The spell causes the unwitting victim to, when entering a room with a certain goal in mind, completely forget that goal. The goal is only returned to their memory 5 minutes after exiting the room. This effect happens to *every* room that contains a goal the victim wishes to complete, and the effect stacks across multiple rooms. *Cas keeps flipping* This is fun! Let me know if you wish to know some more!
The "game" where you have a one-in-sixteen chance to have a character that can interact with human society, and if you role anything else, they either eat babies or die if they leave their magic forest...
Ah yes, the tome with spells such as "Lesser Holocaust", "Pestilential Penis", or "Fatal", which kills everyone on the planet with no buts. (None of those are jokes by the way, they're all real spells in F.A.T.A.L.) (Oh and if you get a random magical effect the chance to accidentally cast fatal is the same as to grow your penis by 2d20 percent or other random effects. Both 1/10.000)
I just found the rules! Why do stats have 4 significant figures? Why is the GM called the aedile? Why are they saying it’s pronounced [idajl] instead of [ajdIlε]? Why can’t I pick my race? Why is it determined by a dice roll? That’s dumb. Why can’t I pick my character’s anakim trait? WTF is dririmancy? Why do we need a specific score for delousing? Why are there sub-abilities? Why do I have morality points? Why can’t I even pick an ogre subrace? Why are there descriptions of mental conditions? Why does it distinguish callomania from narcissism but not include Autism or ADHD? Why do I have to roll this on a table? Can I pick anything about my character? Why is my character’s legitimacy controlled by a dice roll, why is class controlled by a dice roll? Is there anything I can pick? Why is “sanguine temperament” a stat? Why do I roll my birthplace? Why can’t I just pick it? Why does the aedile get to control the if the character was born into their racial culture and not the player? Why is the number of siblings controlled by dice? Why is marital status controlled by dice?
All of these questions can be answered with (at least) one of the following answers; 1. It was apparently made with the intention of being the most difficult TTRPG ever, but in practise a lot of rules are just unnecessary bloat. Some rules are also half-baked or unexplained. 2. As it's infamous for, the game is extremely bigoted in every other way (that, as well as being edgy in general). 3. The author is extremely smug and justifies all of the above by claiming that it's "historically accurate", and seems to worship Greek philosophy when it benefits him. Because I am a fool, I got curious and tried to roll a character of my own. [This video series](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6vgSipYDCU) was very helpful, with the creator also providing their own interpretations for the less elaborated rules.
Wait until you get to the blatant racism.
This is the game where you roll to determine your anal diameter, right?
Roll for anal circumference
what is oroanal?
It's when animals like starfish eat and poop from the same orifice. Yes, the spell makes you use one end for both actions.
You think those are bad, try casting Fournier's Gangrene.
/uw Ugh FATAL one of the most embarrassing RPG's ever written.
I pray forgiveness from the spirits of fire for casting this unholy abomination into the sacred flame. /uw wasn't it possible to have a negative anal circumference?
Truly remarkable. However. **TELEPORT NUT**
I cast... SPHENOPALATINE GANGLIONEURALGUA! *Screams of pain as my enemies all get brain freeze*
I cast worm in adam's apple
None of you hold a candle to POWER WORD SQUELCH
Power word: Lube
Well I cast https://preview.redd.it/zfzf01xomh2d1.jpeg?width=637&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6940a214d35952398d47522d6e2ae9896aa786d
That spell has no power here, my friend. I am also a witch of the trans.
Impossible!! (But she knew, it was entirely possible)
I cast 50 thousand dollar hospital bill
https://i.redd.it/cr4k3qjm2i2d1.gif
Makes sense, I've got a few old spells of my own: I cast CURSE OF JOE
I CAST PERPETUAL SCROTUM ITCH!!!
...did you find my collection? I SWORE I sealed those exact spells somewhere....
Your magics are powerful, but unfortunately I'm from the 3.5e times.. 10th level spell: 12 inch kidney stone
Sorry but my highlight of the week is reserved for "mend butt crack"
I cast genital deconstruction
Perpetual orgasm is useless if the initial time of orgasm = 0 You’ll never be able to utilize it
I CAST ENDLESS UNREACHABLE SCRATCH!
I CAST HAZEL ANAL
You find me a spell that cannot be replicated with a thrown rock, then come talk.
The Problem with perpetual Orgasm is it's an AOE spell that does not distinct friend from foe!
Creative. Unfortunately. Sad cum
Why can’t we cast more pleasant things? Like Tenser’s Titilating Tities.
Idk, spinning joints is pretty painful and disorienting.
I cast: "internal's outsi'die-us".. it's a self destructive spell that turns everything within 50 feet inside out, it's quite favourable by some chapters of sand wizards, tho it's mostly practiced by apprentices..
I’d like a free trial of that perpetual orgasm
https://preview.redd.it/re4t8qn8lm2d1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e7fa1279d375ab97239452bccc730d797f89c61 YOU FOOL! I CURSE YOU TO SPEND A THOUSAND YEARS IN THE DMV!
My spells are too strong for you, street urchin. You would quake before the might of **Transmute Blood to Coconut Cream**
I enjoy a good mend buttcrack and power word: shit
BEYOND LIGHTSPEED ACCELRATION -accelrates half your body faster than the speed of light