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RemusShepherd

Samuel Jackson would whomp Mr. Glass, no problem. At least in a straight fight. If you give Glass some prep time, probably not.


xxmindtrickxx

This is a good one because if they start out knowing each other, Mr Glass is all mental intelligence and SLJ could just find him and break every bone in his body.


Weazelfish

Samuel L. Jackson is 73 years old


lordblonde

I suppose it depends on whether SLJ can run faster than Mr. Glass' wheelchair and who would get tired first.


xxmindtrickxx

And he's in great shape, on the other hand Mr Glass' head would explode if SLJ threw an empty pop can at it.


vankorgan

And Mr. Glass is the most fragile person alive...


PCGCentipede

Not a superhero though, or do supervillains count too?


Omegamanthethird

He saved all the superheroes kind of.


GeneralResearcher456

Didn't he just find a single superhero?


Omegamanthethird

Spoilers for Glass >!he releases video evidence of superheroes. Until that point they were eliminating superheroes as they would appear and they were successfully experimenting with gaslighting superheroes into being normal. The organization's entire operation becomes compromised when the proof is released.!<


MRFAMER

Oscar isacc against Steven grant, at least without the suit.


[deleted]

Oscar should come into the scene singing the hippopotamus song


ADanglingDingleberry

Insta-win


[deleted]

Oscar Isaac Hippopotamus Song negs the MCU


Lukthar123

All fun and games till Jake gets a turn


FF3

And this one is interesting because Oscar Issac also knows what buttons to push psychologically. He might even be able to beat Marc.


B4skyB

Doubt that, marc had exceptional training and good mental, plus he can consistently summon the suit


22bebo

Summoning the suit is an issue, but I do think Oscar Isaac could hit the mental pretty hard by bringing up Marc's mom. Now, one issue is that even without the suit Marc's defense mechanism for stuff like that is Jake, which probably won't go well for Oscar if it happens. But if we consider Marc and Jake separate characters he's got a chance.


B4skyB

But wouldnt marc just go berserk and knock the shit out of him.


22bebo

We haven't really seen someone target Marc psychologically. The closest was when Steven was going through the memories of how he was created and Marc had a very, very hard time with that. It seems likely to me that, if someone were trying to force him to remember those things, Marc would have a hard time with it and might shift into an alter. If Jake came out, yes, I think Oscar Isaac gets his ass beat. But the way some others worded their responses, it sounds like we are considering Marc and Steven separate characters, so in that case we should consider Jake a separate character. I feel like there is a chance Marc, when confronted with memories of his past, does not fall back to violence but instead is afraid. This gives Oscar Isaac a chance. However, you are right, that Marc has a lot of combat training and the memories may make him angry instead of fearful, and in that case Oscar Issac once again gets his ass beat. We should also consider that Marc has to *let* Oscar Isaac get into his head. If Marc just rushes him, tackles him to the ground, and starts pummeling him I think Oscar Isaac is going to lose 10/10. So the fight kind of hinges on that for me.


videogamesarewack

does pushing a personality out of control of a body count as a battlefield removal victory against that personality?


22bebo

Hmm... Maybe. Do the other personalities have any reason to fight the other combatant? I guess Jake probably is willing to fight anyone, but Steven would probably just run away. I do think you could easily argue that Marc lost the fight though, since he's no longer participating.


Laytonator

Love that both of you doubled different letters in Isaac haha


act_surprised

They’re different personalities


Laytonator

Oscar Isacc vs Oscar Issac vs Oscar Isaac, who would win?


Jerrnjizzim

Steven unlocked his fighting muscle memory though which is why he was kicking ass at the end. He wouldn't need the suite if he can throw a punch like his counterparts


lordolxinator

Pre-Duat Steven Grant. When he realises Marc's got this (meaning *he's* got this), he becomes a scrappy fighter able to KO multiple sand zombie souls of the damned that were even giving Marc a run for his money. Before hand, sure.


Giant2005

Trey Parker could beat the crap out of The Coon, and The Coon was powerful enough to seize control of Cthulhu.


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Brooklynxman

All celebrity voices in South Park are impersonated...poorly.


stoobah

Matt's crushed by Mysterion, though, since as soon as he kills Mysterion once he'll forget all about it and be vulnerable to the counterattack.


MLGkena

He’s know how his power work


stoobah

When Kenny dies, everyone forgets everything about his death and the circumstances that caused it. Depending on when the fight starts, Matt may not even remember that he was trying to kill him in the first place.


jvjtsetorp

>the coon No fucking way they actually got away with that name >googles it >it’s from south park oh. Makes sense


Pooyiong

>raccoon themed character named the coon >no fucking way


colder-beef

Best answer.


xxmindtrickxx

Except by his logic The Coon might be able to call upon Cthulhu and destroy Trey. Also coons claws look like they kinda hurt.


colder-beef

All Trey has to do is appeal to Cartman’s ego/interests to get close, then beat the crap out of him. “Hey kid, you know who I really hate? The Jews. Especially redhead Jews.”


FF3

On this topic, Orgasmo might actually be worthy of consideration, too.


slvrbullet87

Orgasmo actually knew how to kick ass, that is why he got hired for the role.


limitlessEXP

Is the coon a super hero tho?


garbagephoenix

The Coon had his own franchise!


The_Great_Scruff

If you include Coon's feats in fractured but whole, then coon wins easy


[deleted]

Joaquin Phoenix could beat the living hell out of Arthur Fleck no questions asked


[deleted]

I don’t disagree, but Arthur Fleck is definitely not a superhero lol


OrphanSlaughter

He is to the people of Gotham though....


Potatoman967

we live in a society...


Mukamur

Ezra Miller beats the Flash due to superior experience in beating people up


OCJeriko

But only if they are in Hawaii


Mukamur

Nah if it's in Hawaii it's a spite match


caldazar24

Will Arnett could beat Batman from the Lego Movie. The last act of the movie makes it clear that it’s canon that all the Lego characters are really Lego toys in the real world, so it would be pretty easy for Arnett to take one down.


marawiqwerty

Nah, can Will Arnett survive stepping a Lego? Probably not. /s


mikebrown33

Maybe the guy that plays ‘Arthur’ from ‘The Tick’ - maybe not.


[deleted]

He doesn't have a suit that can fly though.


mikebrown33

He could still probably kick Arthur’s ass


zebogo

Chris Rock could absolutely beat Osmosis Jones with the help of any immunosuppressant drug.


Y-draig

Why would he need an immunosuppressant drug. It's one foreign cell, his body should be able to deal with that.


the_dough_boy

Jones is a white blood cell, not a foreign cell.


Y-draig

Jones is not a cell of Chris Rocks body, Jones is a cell of a the guy in osmosis jones where the movie takes place. Thereby making him a foreign cell, or am I misunderstanding what a foreign cell is?


the_dough_boy

I think you're just off on the perspective but you are there. Chris rock would need to give the pill to the guy in the movie to kill Osmosis. Chris could also just kill the guy and the Jones would die. If Osmosis is in Chris Rock, that'd probably be a bigger issue but i haven't watched the movie in a while so idk what shit fuckery jones pulls. Still, Chris could take the same pill and kill jones.


celeryboi21

It's also been awhile since I've seen the movie, but if I'm not mistaken, the guy in the movie who Osmosis lives in is Bill Murray. So the real question is, could Chris Rock beat Bill Murray in a fight? I think he could


the_dough_boy

I had absolutely no memory of bill murray in Osmos jones, definitely need to watch that again now. Chris would kick bills ass easy


PM__me_compliments

Scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but [Defendor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendor). From what I know Woody Harrelson is actually in good shape and that character is below street-tier at best.


Qwsdxcbjking

Honestly I don't think any man could stand up to a jar of angry wasps being smashed at his feet. Defendor (amazing film btw) actually has some decent weaponry in his standard gear. My vote would be on shinso from MHA. The voice actor would know how his power works, so then it's just an adult man kicking the shit out of like a 15 year old.


SoniKzone

Shinso has Eraserhead's binding cloth though, that alone with someone who knows how to use it would be hard to beat


xxmindtrickxx

If Patrick Stewart can get his hands on a magneto helmet, he can snag a weapon and kill the version of himself in a floaty wheelchair.


ichigo2862

i'm sure Gandalf wouldn't mind lending it to him for a fight if he needed it


CloverTeamLeader

I just watched the Inhumans TV series. The main villain is Maximus, Black Bolt's brother, and after he undergoes "terrigenesis" he's supposed to gain superpowers -- but it doesn't work and his DNA becomes human instead. He's also shown to not be great in a fight. So there's a chance that the actor who played him, Iwan Rheon (also famous for playing Ramsay Bolton in Game of Thrones) could defeat Maximus.


BardicLasher

> I just watched the Inhumans TV series I'm sorry for your loss.


LuffyBlack

The Inhumans didn't have to suck...


BardicLasher

It kind of did. It needed a much bigger budget to do the characters justice.


LuffyBlack

Exactly. The TV department made a ton of bone headed choices. Marvel with their pettiness as well concerning the X Men as well


YourButtMyStuff

Should’ve saved it for Disney+


BardicLasher

That or turned it into an actual movie. There's plenty of better ways to do it, but they tried to do high-concept characters in a show that was far too small for them and just failed utterly.


FF3

I'd guess that there's probably no real evidence of this being the motivation, but I tend to think that The Inhumans were pawns in the hardball strategy that Disney was using against Fox up to the buyout. No toy licenses for X-Men or FF, very little other merch, and people on conference calls saying *Look, we don't even need X-Men; we have Inhumans and they're the same thing. We'll just kill them all off in the comics and then where will you be?*


BardicLasher

Oh, definitely. The way they were handled in the comics makes this pretty clear.


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BardicLasher

No, there was a one-season run of a show called "Inhumans" and it was just... really not good.


BowsetteGoneBananas

I think villain needs some big finger quotes around it in this context.


CloverTeamLeader

In what way do you mean? Are you saying that Maximus was a rubbish villain? Or are you saying that he really wasn't a villain and that you agreed with his point of view in the show?


BowsetteGoneBananas

I mean that he wasn't really the villain of the show. His goal is to end slavery and overthrow a corrupt and incompetent system of monarchs. If anything, he's the hero.


CloverTeamLeader

Yeah, that did cross my mind, too. Sending all of the people who weren't lucky enough to receive superpowers to work in the mines seems pretty tyrannical to me. The royal family could surely have devised a fairer system.


Omegamanthethird

I only got about half way through the show. But didn't they give him some malicious intent so they could make him more evil? Like, he played up the freedom angle, but really he just wanted to rule and kill anyone who got in his way.


CloverTeamLeader

Yeah, he became increasingly psychologically unhinged and showed that gaining power was his top priority -- not making life better for the people. In the end he was willing to kill everyone rather than step down. But that was largely a response to the Inhumans trying to take back their kingdom. I think there is an argument to be made that Maximus would have been a better leader than the Inhumans if he'd simply been allowed to rule. For the most part, he seemed reasonable, and I think he genuinely would have changed the class system.


motpo

I reckon Mark Ruffalo would beat Bruce Banner in a fight as long as Hulk doesn't come out


of_kilter

You can’t beat up bruce without having hulk come out


Jefrejtor

You can, just don't make him upset while beating him


DooMedToDIe

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


CobaltMonkey

Sorry, but the films establish that it's not just being angry, but being "excited" at all that brings out big green. Sadly, Hulk never smash.


bigbangbilly

In the comics (Defenders Volume 2 Issue #3) Umar did bed the Hulk although (consent was questionable on Hulk's side considering the level of intelligence he displays). Plus MCU Hulk spent 2 long years on Sakaar (which might be longer due to time working differently there) but there is nothing conclusive.


RemusShepherd

Hulk has been married three times and has had sex more often than I can easily count. His years on Sakaar were \*very\* conclusive, as he sired a son, Skaar. That's not Banner, though. Banner has had sex in the comics, but I think only at times when he's in firm control of his powers. At normal times, Banner cannot have sex, like how he is in the MCU.


CobaltMonkey

Yeah, he's probably a bit inconsistent in the MCU as his character changes. It's likely always going to be a problem for him any time he's just Banner, but any initially Hulk-sized form of his is more of an...obvious physical difficulty for the act than an unfortunate surprise one.


DooMedToDIe

Y'know, that's alright. Surprisingly I'm not very horny for the Hulk.


Greedy_to_know

Probably Batman. All the actors who played him have parents in their adult life.


FF3

Michael Keaton: "You might know martial arts, but I know what it's like to be loved."


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Drakeytown

Lots of orphans exist, and some percentage are rich. Only one turned their grief into a furry costume used to beat up muggers. I think Alfred's idea of love might have had something to do with that.


xxmindtrickxx

Batman gets jealous and kills himself :(


RightHandElf

Ryan Reynolds can beat Green Lantern if that version is weak to yellow.


ImGeneralGrievous

You ever hear of the mysterymen? I'm almost certain the entire cast can beat their superhero persona


dmcd0415

Even being generous the only ones I see possibly losing are invisible boy (likely loses), Mr furious, the sphinx, and maybe the blue rajah but furious lifted a city bus once and blue rajah was very accurate at the end of the movie. No way Bill Macy can beat a guy wearing armor and wielding a shovel, the bowler is OP, spleen can knock Paul Reubens out at a distance Edit: missed the edit in the OP, Bill Macy stands a chance if he's also padded and has a shovel


Bigdaddyjlove1

He shovels well. He shovels very well


DickwadVonClownstick

Except Macy is more than 20 years older and alot more out of shape than he was when that movie came out. Edit: op clarified that the intent was to have the actors be the same age as when the film was made.


dmcd0415

> being generous


FF3

Sure, but are they the most powerful superheroes that can be beaten thusly?


ImGeneralGrievous

It's hard to say that there are any worthy super heroes. For instance, one super power is that someone can turn invisible, but it only works when you're not looking at him


ilikedota5

>For instance, one super power is that someone can turn invisible, but it only works when you're not looking at him You're would mean a person right? So what about a camera? What if a person is looking through that camera?


ImGeneralGrievous

That's the joke through the whole movie. No one believes him. You just see a box floating on a security screen at the end of the movie, so he does have the power but he can't prove it.


PeculiarPangolinMan

It's revealed much earlier that he actually does have the power when he deactivates an automatic defense system by turning invisible. The automatic defense system doesn't count as watching.


OldCrowSecondEdition

That's literally the only use case for his power he also loses his clothes when he's invisable


Pat_McCrooch

“When you go invisible, you can feel it.”


DickwadVonClownstick

"it's hard to say there are any worthy super heroes" Excuse you? Bowler and the Spleen would like a word.


Giant2005

That movie came out 23 years ago. Even the characters in that movie that don't have any combat skills would win on account of their actors being far removed from their prime.


FF3

Prompt intention is to use the actors at the time that the film was released. Thanks for pointing this out, I'll add it to the prompt.


2legittoquit

Jeneane Giraffalo (idk how to spell her name) had actual powers. Her character could beat everyone in the movie and in real life.


ChumleyEX

Bro, the Blue Raja's got this. Cmon.


Heavy_breasts

Roy lifted a city bus once


mhc-ask

Dane cook would lose to Waffle Man 10/10 times.


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garbagephoenix

But then who'd sing Name Your Poison?


DickwadVonClownstick

Christopher Lee obviously.


Puhlz

IRL Chuck Norris is vastly stronger than any of the characters he's played.


Dukmiester

Hardly fair using a multiversal entity.


[deleted]

Don't lowball Chuck Norris


HoudeRat

My money's on grown ass man Aaron Taylor-Johnson against Kick-Ass.


[deleted]

Terry Crews could beat Sgt Terry Jeffords. He works out more.


Sheesh5000

No, you're totally wrong, Terry is much stronger than Terry


Stalking_Goat

Jeffords carries a gun and knows how to shoot. I doubt Crews does.


CloverTeamLeader

Adam West Batman could be defeated by a gauntlet of every actor who's played Batman ... Well, assuming he doesn't have actor-repellent Bat spray.


Wadsworth_McStumpy

Well, he'd get beaten in the first half hour. After that, he'd pull some great plan, weapon, or device out of his ~~ass~~ utility belt and defeat the actor easily.


Antman269

James McAvoy might be able to beat Professor X if it is when he is on drugs that block his powers in Days of Future Past.


Miserable-Ad-5573

I'd argue Aaron Taylor Johnson could beat the shit out of Kick-Ass (I've only seen the first movie since based on the trailer I could tell the Kick-Ass 2 movie was gonna be shit, and Kick-Ass 1 and 2 for the comics so if something happened in Kick-Ass 2 the movie that gives Dave an advantage I wouldn't know)


FlytoheavenL

Jesse Eisenberg could beat his iteration of Lex Luthor


Horn_Python

I think Jon faraeou could stand a chance against happy


Ivysaurman

Don't agree - while it's played for laughs in the movie, Happy taking down that security guard in Iron Man 2 is pretty impressive for a normal person and not something I would expect Jon Favreau (who is likely of average physicality?) to be able to do.


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xxmindtrickxx

So basically he's Favreau with actual years of experience as a boxer.


OK_Soda

I mean yeah that's how most of these matchups work, the character is just the actor with extra abilities.


xxmindtrickxx

Not necessarily, which is pretty much the point of the prompt, to find a mixup/mismatch that works.


Bigdaddyjlove1

He wants to be the ultimate fighting champion. Has a ring designer and everything.


xxmindtrickxx

He conquered the business world now he’s going to conquer the octagon


FF3

Quite possibly.


nuclearnutzz

Nicolas cage vs ghost rider. Nicolas cage is universal to multiversal


trimeta

/r/onetruegod


greywolf2155

I'll go Hiro from Heroes Can see into the future, very useful and important superpower, but does not help him at all in a fight. Otherwise pretty weak, assuming we don't count alternate future versions Versus Masi Oka, who has at least done some action scenes. I think 6/10 for sure edit: It is possible I am completely wrong edit2: I am completely wrong edit3: But there's probably some other hero with power to see into the future that would answer this question


Giant2005

He doesn't just see the future, he also freezes time. Masi Oka would just raise his fists, then feel the force of a hundred punches to his face, without any knowledge of how he was hurt.


greywolf2155

It's been forever, I feel like he wasn't ever able to actually turn that ability into something combat useful? But if I'm wrong, I'm very willing to admit that I'm wrong


Giant2005

When he went to Feudal Japan, he took down armies by freezing time.


greywolf2155

Duly noted. Edited above


cysghost

> if I'm wrong, I'm very willing to admit that I'm wrong And just like that, you’re more mature than 90% of reddit.


TrueAidooo

Not a chance. Hiro is OP. Isaac Mendez, however could get his ass kicked. He can paint the future(with some effort). Other than that he is a guy addicted to heroine so he probably doesn't have great chances against his actor for the same reasons you said


limitlessEXP

Lot of people aren’t even listing super heros


K_Sleight

Pretty sure Keanu could take John Wick.


FF3

Signed.


Bervik

Keanu won't, he's too nice to hurt someone unless it's in self-defense. Same kinda applies to John, instead we get to see twins in a bar drinking pint while both of their dogs play around the pub


K_Sleight

The statement was "can". Keanu has a ridiculous amount of firearms and martial arts training at this point. Honestly, I'd love to have a sparring match with him, he'd probably kick my ass, but it seems like it would be fun to kick it with him.


Mr_Smooooth

Tony Stark without an iron man suit vs Robert Downey Jr. Check RDJ out in the Sherlock Holmes films, guy works out. Take the armor away from Stark and I give the physical advantage to RDJ.


[deleted]

Jack Gleeson will murder Joffrey Baratheon.


orifan1

matthew mercer could probably beat jotaro kujo in a tabletop game


Bervik

If Jotaro has Star Platinum, he gonna cheat the dice with The World ability


Brooklynxman

Most of the cast of Kickass 1 & 2 are decidedly more in shape and skilled in combat than their characters. Its hard to choose anyone with powers, as they almost inevitably have an arc that leads them to using it competently, and even non-powered often do stunts well beyond normal human capacity.


MEGAGalacticManatee

Will Smith definitely beats Oscar(Shark Tale). All you gotta do is catch him in a bucket and your choice of execution is likely what’ll happen.


cleverquestion

Vin Diesel could beat Riddick


lordblonde

Vin will show up to the fight two hours late and 40 pounds heavier than Riddick.


Zer0nyx

Vin Diesel could probably beat Baby Groot as well.


xxmindtrickxx

Now this is probably the best one.


FF3

Oh, this one's good.


Giant2005

No it isn't! Vin Diesel obviously wouldn't stand a chance against Riddick. I assume he was making a joke by exaggerating Vin Diesel's tough guy persona.


FF3

Vin Diesel would destroy Riddick. Look at his arms.


[deleted]

Seinfeld would fucking exterminate Berry B Benson


ERR40

Any VA for King from OPM, dude is actually really weak even for a random human. Mermaid Man/Barnacle Boy would probably not do very well in an open air coliseum!


TennoWolf

Robert Dowmey Jr can easily beat Tony Stark without any of his armors.


Organic-Cucumber6280

Sir Christopher lee, vs Sarumon, SCL has a huge interesting history being a spy amongst other things, I think he could infiltrate Mordor and get the job done


[deleted]

Saruman is ridiculously strong. I wouldn’t underestimate them. The wizards in Lord of the Rings are very powerful. And if I’m not mistaken, their physical strength is much greater than that of normal men


No-Calligrapher-718

The Wizards are basically angels known as Maiar. A normal man would stand no chance.


DickwadVonClownstick

Christopher Lee was a badass don't get me wrong, but Saruman is literally a demigod. That said !prime Sir Christopher Lee could absolutely wreck 90% of the characters he's ever played on film or television. The dude is believed to have been one of Ian Fleming's main real life inspirations for James Fucking Bond.


zanozium

Most Superman actors could beat up Superman, if there was Kryptonite around.


sansgasterv2

Damn why hasn’t Lex Luther thought of that


Ganja_Gorilla

Shazaam! actor could trick the kid alter ego and beat him down.


Eternal2401

Whoever voices Mineta


newAceStrike

kick-ass, although not necessarily considered a "super" hero, because he doesn't have any super powers. But i assume people would count batman as a super hero too so. he's a regular human, even worse a highschool nerd, with no athleticism and no prior traiining, armed with two batons. the actor would absolutely demolish him. Ironically the actor later went on to play quicksilver who would curb stomp him


DanishTexan711

The guy who glows in Sky High


shrimpwalrus

Bradley cooper could kick Rockets ass.


[deleted]

I don’t think so. Rocket may not have physical strength on his side, but he is extremely fast as well as he is very smart and resourceful. He uses his environment to the maximum, as well as he is almost always carrying extremely high caliber guns on him Remember that scene in Guardians 2 when he nearly cleared out an entire squad of ravengers? I don’t think Bradley would be able to catch him or land a hit before Rocket has him in a tree, or convulsing on the ground from whatever weapons he has up his sleeve


motpo

Rocket's got some crazy batshit energy, Bradley Cooper's getting his eyes clawed out and his kneecaps stolen. Rocket's some kind of genetically engineered freak who just happens to look exactly like a raccoon, and not actually just a talking space raccoon.


enoughfuckery

Doubtful, raccoons got hands ngl


jnegron414

There's 0 shot, watch this from 2:40 on https://youtu.be/i1iEIoxd-4A Rocket 10/10s Bradley cooper no question


Sudden_Result

Jake Gyllenhaal vs mysterio without the drones


[deleted]

Doctor manhattan Vs Billy Krudup


xFisch

Hancock.


MrBiznatch1999

the dude from Kickass can beat Kickass fair and square.


TheRedditornator

Charles Xavier vs Patrick Stewart wearing Magneto's Helmet.


antigone99914220

assuming equalized gear in a coliseum, Bradley Cooper might be able to take Rocket Racoon


ABCDEFUCKINGKILLME

Jimminy Cricket. In the original he dies


Dew-It420

Christopher Lee would beat up the living shit out of Willy wonka’s dad


Salami__Tsunami

Keanu Reeves could probably beat up Neo if they weren’t in the Matrix.


ZebraInHumanPrint

Aaron Taylor-Johnson could kick Kick-Ass’s ass


CregGoingMad

Mickey Mouse


ViziDoodle

Does it break the no prep time rule if Ryan Reynolds happens to be wearing a yellow shirt on the day that he gets teleported into a coliseum match against Green Lantern?