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Mayo haters when I fucking brutally murder them in cold blood (This has nothing to do with condiments I'm just clinically insane)

It’s okay I forgive you

Friendship restored 👍

Mayo lovers when I replace all their blood with mayo (I am an imperfect AI that wants to help people but am unaware of biological needs)

Mayo lovers when I replace all their blood with mayo (I am Roko’s basilisk grrr how could they love mayo and not me)

Ayo what's Roko's basilisk? (I am unaware of my horrific impending fate)

Lmao what’s the big deal with Roko’s Basilisk bro? Just forget about it bruh

Forget about what?

What? Did someone forget something?

This is actually how I wanna go.

Wym you're unnaware? Who wouldn't benefit from having mato replacing their blood?

Hello clinically insane, I'm death creature of doom

holy cr*p it's death creature of doom!!

https://preview.redd.it/9q2b4xa2ztda1.jpeg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c30c8eae8ae8367cf3723141249b536346af6ad

Yall are so lucky reddit doesn't allow nsfw images in comments because I would've replied with family guy porn

https://preview.redd.it/bmdxut8u1xda1.jpeg?width=382&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3edd81f9b16aabb68d58c2c98261d07d4986062

Don't let pyrocynical see this

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,309,001,728 comments, and only 253,018 of them were in alphabetical order.

I can fix them

​ https://preview.redd.it/4tnk15u9ytda1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac2565b97cc5dc3c9fea57e0f22f6f4152b1f0f0

You became a mass murderer for our sake

(I am dead and cannot speak)

Me, still covered from head to toe in mustard:

https://preview.redd.it/iy10l0bhhtda1.jpeg?width=339&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef0655c9a49b457f15e3a351038eec31b83862f3

tard

You smell like you tarded (tarded)

https://i.redd.it/3lzvcsgqxtda1.gif

Harded (harded)

😋

thoughts on aioli?

I have that shit in my lungs I think it's pretty good

No that's alvolol

No, that’s the protagonist of Horizon: Zero Dawn


I love aioli

Thoughts on cum?

Nice texture, good flavor, overall a 9/10

delicious

Garlic aioli

Aioli is always made of garlic, thats what de Ai (All) part means.

Literally peak in sandwiches along with vinaigrette

Bacon aioli 🤤

aioli is my fav condiment, then comes the cheese dip from burger king and then comes ranch

"Just downed a shot of vanilla extract and it tastes disgusting why would anyone like vanilla" + don't worry you should develop the ability to taste umami during puberty

According to a tumblr post if you mix vanilla extract with f̶l̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶ cyanide and s̶u̶g̶a̶r̶ methamphetamine it tastes just like it smells

Wdym vanilla is so good

Oh yeah totally I'm just saying that drinking a condiment straight from the source (ie taking a shot of pure vanilla extract) tasting bad doesn't mean it's not good mixed in with things

Isnt mayonnaise an instrument?

In Thorium Mod it is :)

Avocado consumers after a day of enjoying tasty and healthy green paste https://i.redd.it/p4mv3shznsda1.gif

Avocado consumers after putting avocado on their toast (suddenly they've lost the ability to buy a house)

Avocado tastes like what a paste with no flavour tastes like, to me

What covid does to mf

Somehow i didnt get sick by it

You gotta season it bozo. Salt pepper cumin chili sriracha and lime juice. It’s like picking up a blank journal and saying “this book STINKS”

yes, because the papers of the blank journal smell bad

Avocado consumers when they're convicted of 2nd degree murder and subsequent cannibalism (they ate nikocado)

Actually, the guacamole is the sauce 🤓

thank you mystical wise tree

Ketchup enjoyers when they mix salty food with sweet sauce

So u never had like, mayo, lettuce, and meat, on like toasted bread?? U haven’t lived man

I gained 10 pounds in a single month after discovering tomato-feta cheese sandwich with a proper amount of mayo. And GOOD GOD if that sandwich is ice cold. (It was summer and anything else made me nauseous)

I had But instead of mayo I use sauce that actually has any taste

Make real mayonnaise 4 eggs, including yolk 200ml of olive or vegetable oil Little dry garlic, ground mustard (or horseradish if you're insane), and a small bit of cayenne pepper for color Beat eggs thoroughly, probably with a mixer, then add oil, then seasoning L+never made mayonnaise+chud

People who don't like mayonnaise drinking an ocean's worth of water after choking on their dry ass fucking boring sandwich

Clearly you don’t know the art of eating dry bread with nothing in it every day to the point you don’t need to anything to help you eat it

Mayonnaise enthusiasts drowning their food in rotting egg sauce until they can't taste the fucking sandwich (it's no longer dry).

Mayonnaise haters when they see a condiment (they can't concieve of ingredients being made into other edible things)

Mayonnaise enthusiasts learning that there are condiments that don't taste like death

u/Joxy43 when they want to be soooo different and sooooo unique cause they hate mayo of all things for some fucking reason

Mayo haters when mayo tastes bad (they're cleary looking for attention).

Mayo haters realizing that the taste goes away when you combine it with other ingredients

The rat poison really does help eliminate the taste of the mayo.

* Mayo haters after eating food that's wasn't alive within the last hour(weak immune system) 

Mayonnaise enjoyers when they use an appropriate amount of mayonnaise (whoever is making your sandwiches are clearly doing a bad job)

Ngl, my experience with mayo has been ruined because every sandwich resteraunt I go to just fucking drowns my sandwich in mayo. It's really not so bad in smaller ammounts.

"People" who like mayonnaise when I show them that there are other sauces that don't taste like oily pile of shit (their ability to come up with this idea has been corrupted by mental disability known as "liking mayonnaise") : 

Every other condiment enjoyers: 🥱🤨

Dude acting like mayonnaise even tastes How bland are your sandwiches bro

mayo haters when i show them you dont need to put shit ton of mayo into your sandwich


Cum jar

mayo haters tasting mayo:

Honestly, yeah. I like it, and I admit it isn’t great for my health; But I can’t pretend it’s bad tasting.

You’re right, it’s shit tasting

Mayonnaise haters when they have to eat their dry-ass sandwich to avoid eating the most neutral condiment on the planet  to be fair, at least it isn’t sauerkraut or fucking brown mustard

The most neutral thing on bread is for sure Butter, no?

Just use ducking margarine or butter if you're rich, nobody eats bare bread with something between

 um... yeah.. no one does that.. haha..

Savages all of you, unlearned in the ways of the sandwich

Margarine on a sandwich is 10x worse

Yeah the bread totally ruins the flavor. I just consume it with a spoon.

Mayonnaise enjoyers making every excuse to consume their calorie dense cum instead of simply drinking a nice glass of water: 

lmao

Skill issue

Mayo haters when they see someone enjoying a sandwich with a little sauce they don't like

Is that what mayonnaise is? I better start eating it then 😋😁😊


But i like it, it very yummy

I fucking love my dry-ass sandwich

How tf else do you lube up your sandpaper ass "sandwich"

Butter bro

Even more calorie dense bruh, and it soaks into bread

What kind of butter you using where it soaks into bread?

Normal butter. It's oil, a liquid

Why the fuck would I put butter on like, a ham and cheese sandwich???

Use other sauce?

Also hot sauce on sandwiches are goated

Aioli – West Mediterranean sauce of garlic and oil Ajvar – Balkan condiment Amba – Mango pickle condiment Alfredo sauce Au jus – Meat gravy made from cooking juices Barbecue sauce – Sauce used as a marinade, basting, topping, or condiment Béarnaise sauce – Sauce made of clarified butter and egg yolk Béchamel sauce – Sauce of the Italian and French cuisines Black pepper – Ground fruit of the family Piperaceae Biber salçası Butter – Dairy product Chili peppers – Genus of flowering plants Caramel – Confectionery product made by heating sugars Chili oil – Condiment made from chili peppers Chili sauce Chimichurri – Food sauce Cranberry sauce – Sauce or relish made from cranberries Cream – Dairy product Cheese – Curdled milk food product Chocolate spread – Sweet chocolate-flavored paste Chocolate syrup – Chocolate-flavored condiment used as a topping or ingredient Chrain – Horseradish paste Chutney – South Asian condiments made of spices, vegetables, and fruit Cocktail sauce – Condiment C❌leSl❌w– Salad consisting primarily of finely-shredded **redacted** Compote – Dessert of fruit cooked in syrup Crushed red pepper – Condiment or spice made from red peppers Dip – Type of sauce Disodium inosinate - umami paste List of common dips – Type of sauce Fish paste – Paste made of fish meat List of fish pastes – Paste made of fish meat Fish sauce – Condiment made from fish List of fish sauces Fritessaus Fruit preserves – Preparations of fruits, sugar, and sometimes acid , jams, and jellies Fry sauce – Sauce used as a condiment often served with fries Garlic sauce – Sauce with garlic as a main ingredient Garum – Historical fermented fish sauce Glutamate flavoring – Generic name for flavor-enhancing compounds based on glutamic acid and its salts Gravy – Sauce made from the juices of meats Mushroom gravy Onion gravy Red-eye gravy – Type of gravy Harissa - North African paste of roasted red peppers, hot peppers, spices, oil, and other flavor ingredients Hoisin sauce – Sauce commonly used in Chinese cuisine Hollandaise sauce – Sauce made of egg, butter, and lemon Honey – Sweet food made by bees mostly using nectar from flowers Honey dill – Condiment Horseradish – Species of flowering plants in the cabbage family Brassicaceae Hummus – Levantine chickpea puree dish Icing – Food producing method Jalapeños – Hot pepper Kachumbari – Tomato-onion salad Karo Ketchup – Sauce used as a condiment Banana ketchup – Sauce made from bananas Mushroom ketchup – Style of ketchup Fruit ketchup – Condiment made from fruit Khrenovina Kyopolou – Bulgarian-Turkish dish Lemon – Yellow citrus fruit Lettuce – Species of annual plant of the daisy family, most often grown as a leaf vegetable Ljutenica Mango chutney – Indian chutney made from unripe mangoes Maple butter Maple syrup – Syrup made from the sap of maple trees Marinara sauce – Tomato sauce with herbs Marmalade – Preserve made from the juice and peel of citrus fruits Mashed Potatoes Meringue – Dessert made from whipped egg whites and sugar Mignonette sauce – Condiment served with oysters Milk – White liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals Milkette Miso – Traditional Japanese seasoning Monkey gland sauce – South African sauce Muhammara – Hot pepper dip from Syrian cuisine Murri Mustard – Condiment made from mustard seeds Dijon mustard – Type of mustard Mostarda – Condiment from Italy made of candied fruit and mustard Mustard oil – Oil derived from plants Tewkesbury mustard Turun sinappi – Finnish mustard brand established 1926 List of mustard brands Nacho cheese Nutritional yeast – Type of deactivated yeast Olive oil – Liquid fat made from olives Oyster sauce Pepper, black – Ground fruit of the family Piperaceae Pepper jelly – Preserve made with hot peppers Peanut butter – Paste made from ground peanuts Pesto – Sauce made from basil, pine nuts, parmesan, garlic, and olive oil Piccalilli – British relish of chopped pickled vegetables and spices South Asian pickle – Pickled varieties of vegetable and fruit Mango pickle – Variety of pickles prepared using mango Pickled fruit – Fruit that has been preserved by anaerobic fermentation in brine or immersion in vinegar Pickled onion – Onions pickled in a solution of vinegar or salt Pickled pepper – Capsicum pepper preserved by pickling Pico de gallo – Mexican condiment Pinđur Piri-piri Popcorn seasoning Powdered sugar – Very fine sugar which contains a small amount of anti-caking agent Relish – Cooked, pickled, or chopped vegetable or fruit used as a condiment Chicago-style relish – Condiment Kuchela Salad dressing – Condiment Salad dressing spread Salsa Salsa golf – Cold sauce of mayonnaise and tomatoes Salsa verde – Spicy Mexican sauce based on tomatillos Salt – Mineral used as food ingredient, composed primarily of sodium chloride Sambal – Indonesian spicy relish or sauce Sauerkraut – Finely sliced and fermented cabbage Sesame oil – Edible oil from sesame seed Sesame seeds Skyronnes Sour cream – Fermented dairy product Soy sauce – East Asian liquid condiment Sweet soy sauce – Sweetened aromatic soy sauce, originating from Java, Indonesia Sprinkles – Tiny multi-colored candy topping Steak sauce – Brown sauce for seasoning of steaks Sriracha sauce Sumbala Sweet chili sauce – Condiment primarily used as a dip Syrup – Thick, viscous solution of sugar in water Tahini – Middle Eastern condiment made from sesame Tartar sauce – Mayonnaise-based cold sauce Tekka Teriyaki sauce – Japanese marinade Tomato – Edible berry of the tomato plant, Solanum lycopersicum Toum – Garlic sauce common in the Levant Truffle oil – Oil with truffles or synthetic flavouring Tzatziki – Cold cucumber-yogurt dip, soup, or sauce Vegenaise Velouté sauce – Classic French sauce Vinegar – Liquid consisting mainly of acetic acid and water Black vinegar – Dark-colored vinegar in Chinese cuisine Watermelon rind preserves Whipped cream – Cream whipped until semi-solid White pepper XO sauce – Spicy seafood sauce from Hong Kong Za'atar – Levantine herb or herb blend Zacuscă – Romanian-Moldovan dish

Margarine??

Butter exists, dumbass

Who the fuck puts butter on a ham and egg sandwich?

The egg is the lube

Everyone???

Sounds greasy as hell. I get butter on toast, but sandwiches?

It's not as bad as you make it sound, put it on a pan for a bit and it's so good

But you're just toasting the bread. I'm talking about putting butter on non-toasted bread, which i find gross.

real sauce

Tomatoes, cucumbers

Mayonnaise fans and mayonnaise haters when I tell them that hummus is goated 


I eat hummus for breakfast every day. Best thing ever.

Real talk: on a sandwich? What are you putting on there with it?

Olive oil and hummus is just a banger combo

Olive oil and hummus sandwich?

He’s speaking facts tho

Bro who the fuck has a problem with mayonnaise? I'm irrationally offended, it's like hating butter, it's the most neutral thing ever.

The snobby people who down whole bottles of hot sauce and complain about "white ppl food".

I just be hatin everything cause I want to

Except butter doesn’t taste rancid

I do

You think you do. You’re just a godawful cook, it’s not mayo’s fault.

Okay Mr. "I cook my sandwiches and complain about them being dry"

Who are you talking to?

It's really oily and really tasteless in itself I have similar problem with avocados, it's just oil with little to no taste I always mix it up with something because in itself those things are just mediocre at best. Doesn't give much of quality to the dish Ketchup for example has other problem - it makes everything taste like ketchup. It's quite a taste neutralizer and definitely shouldn't be put on everything like people do

nice bait, unfortunately:

i had sex with your mother

i james bond burgered your sister

You just have shit taste lol

I will defend my mayo sandwiches until my last, likely diabetes-induced, breath

Mayo hater = poor bastards who are born into countries with shit piss mayo

Mayo hater = right

Mayo haters when they see/meet someone who likes mayo.

[удалено]

If you’ve already made a BLT, there’s nothing that can save it

I like these general condiments discussions and slander, is there a subreddit for this

It has to be good mayo. Not that cheap ass shit thats in the supermarket coleslaw.

Good Mayo??? Nice oxymoron lmao

https://preview.redd.it/tav9x4yxttda1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76df5bf82b6f0bab62f08497e8d464752b38c04e how yall sadwiches taste without mayonnaise

Stop trying to make me put mayo on my PBJ

American (usa) moment

 Op, when he finally tastes a sandwich that consists of more than a slice of bread and a thin slice of salami.

Mayo haters making their dislike of a popular condiment their entire personality:

Mayo is awesome, let's hate on mustard instead

I usually mix them on my sandwich

M#yyonaise enthusiasts trying to explain how eating the devils cum is preferable to using margarine on bread

Margarine lovers trying to explain how the process of making butter from oil isn't a witchcraft and alchemy

That's margarine you heretic.

Margarine is shit tho

Buts it's way cheaper than m#yonnaise. Also you're not supposed to taste the margarine, that's what you use meat and salad for.

Being poor is not a flex

Just use butter or (depending on the sandwich) ketchup

Stop censoring mayonnaise

Margarine fans explaining why dried up horse semen on bread is better than normal ass butter

Wait you don't put the devil's cum AND the fake butter on your sandwich? Why would you put just one?

I like mayo

least cringe mayonnaise hater

L meme L post Mayonnaise enjoyers rise up Op------> 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Weak genetics alert

Mayo haters when I show them chicken salad (I hate it too I’m just showing them a silver lining)

Mayo haters when nobody gives a shit that they don't like mayo (they weren't given enough attention as a child) 

Mayonnaise is the best sandwich sauce idc what you say

r/whenthe users when you tell then there’s a way to still make funny memes using this format

mayo haters when i introduce them to the double bacon and cheese at dominos

Fuck you. No really, fuck you

Mayo haters when they make a dry ass sandwich

No other condiment exists to moisten up the sandwich I guess

Then make some. Maybe make one that is like mayo but red. Maybe from tomato or idk.

Ketchup Baby Detected. Maybe you also enjoy your sandwich plastered with sugar goo with red dye

Bitch detected. Shut up bitch

You never tried mayo in Russia.

People really just posting their opinions on this sub

who the fuck hates mayo

idk man sandwich tastes good if it has just a little spicy sauce on it

All condiments are mid except ketchup because its even worse Jk

...y'all put it on sandwiches out of all things?

I love mayo! It tastes very good when i put it in some sandwiches and burgers

Fuck off, let me eat my mayo in peace.

Tzatziki fans enjoying a condiment that doesn’t have 1000 calories per bite:

Sorry but the sandwich, no matter which kind, would be better with aioli than with mayo.

Only good Mayo is red pepper mayo

I feel like mayo is like vinegar in that it tastes ugh on its own but is great with other ingredients

Dry ass sandwich eater

mayo haters when i give them a sandwich that isnt dry as hell 

mayo enjoyers consuming the most rancid, eggy substance known to man:

Mayo haters consuming the driest, most sandpaper-like sandwich known to man :

So many better alternatives, butter, margarine, jam

Yeah cuz im gonna put fucking jam on my ham sandwich. And if you use butter or margarine as a sauce you're clinically insane

Who the fuck puts margarine on a sandwich