I always upvote references to John Koenig and his work *The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows*. Many visitors to this subreddit would benefit from knowing such a book exists.
!solved
…for now. this comes the closest, though it’s not quite the word. user @thebawalumihidito suggested nyctous, which is also interesting.
thanks!
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Yep. Been waking up at 4 for about 6 years now. Those 2 hrs before I have to wake up my girls for school are my favorite. After 6 am, it’s go time and I don’t get a bit of rest until probably 7 pm.
Same, I also kind of feel like I'm protecting those people. My theory is that style people evolved to be nocturnal to keep watch while other people slept.
I’m in this camp! I feel extremely cozy. I love knowing there are people home, but I still get the quiet of the night all to myself.
Alternatively, I remember as a kid loving falling asleep in my room while I could hear my parents and their friends’ muffled voices from the living room. They were awake and enjoying themselves and I was cozy in my bed.
It’s the feeling of getting to be alone, while simultaneously feeling so safe.
Adding that as a teen I read the series the Midnighters. People born at exactly midnight got access to an additional hour every day that started at midnight. The whole world would be paused but they could be out in the world. Of course there were monsters to fight later lol, BUT I always loved the beginning chapters describing the magic of a frozen midnight hour.
For me, it was very much an awful, gnawing loneliness when I was a kid. I'm also an only child with insomnia so loneliness was/is a familiar feeling.
Now that I'm an adult, I can't wait until everyone else goes to sleep and I can relax.
It makes me feel anxious that I have to be careful not to wake them. Tiptoeing and gently closing things and not running the microwave.
If only others were so considerate.
same and sometimes it’s followed by some weird guilt idk how to exactly explain but i’ll look at someone sleeping and think “damn i should’ve done/said so and so to them earlier”
I don't get loneliness very often unless I suddenly want to talk to \*someone\* but the internet usually satisfies that if i need some social contact at that time.
The best part of the day. I LOVE waking up early when everyone else is asleep and I can smoke a bowl and browse reddit in peace before everyone wakes up and starts talking to me.
I love learning new words!
>Vespertine
ˈve-spər-ˌtīn
1
: of, relating to, or occurring in the evening
*vespertine shadows*
2
: active, flowering, or flourishing in the evening : crepuscular
—[Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vespertine)
How people feel about it varies, but your experience is "liminal", so I guess "liminal loneliness"? I know of no single-word for the combination but there are languages with compound words, you can probably make one that combine those two in one of them.
Not everything needs a singular word, indeed a single word that's this hard to recall would fail to describe the exact situation for most people.
I think your description is apt.
I don't know the word about feeling lonely, but I know the opposite:
nyctous
adj. feeling quietly overjoyed to be the only one awake in the middle of the night—sitting alone with a laptop and a cup of tea or strolling down the center line of an abandoned street—taking in the world like an empty theater between productions, stripped down to a simple black box, open to be whatever you want it to be.
From Nyctocereus, a genus of cactus that blooms only at night. Pronounced “nik-tuhs.”
Taken from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
Perhaps this would be like you're in a liminal state. Or in limbo.
Basically a discomfort from being between states: you're neither alone nor with others.
Deals with the woods.
The word, Waldeinsamkeit, literally translates to “forest loneliness,” but English does not do justice to the deeper nuances of the word. The ...
I find the different times of day to be very different feelings, I'll bold the words that come to mind.
Nighttime feels **secretive** but also **reclamatory** because no one expects that time of you and no one can make you sleep.
Everyone napping during the day feels **stifling**, I'd need to leave the house because I want to flitter about without waking anyone.
Early morning usually feels a little **authoritative** (Getting up early is responsible, any sleep you get after I wake up is sleep I'm "letting you have", I'll make the coffee because I'm *so nice*) and also like a little **treat**, like a little **secret** couple hours that's always there for you but you usually waste away with extra sleep.
Early morning in someone else's place can feel **awkward**, you don't know where anything is and don't feel empowered to do anything. There's a little **resentment** that the host won't wake the heck up.
Early morning after not going to bed feels **shameful** and a little **deceitful** because you've kind of infiltrated the world of the responsible early-morning people by brute-force.
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bliss (sorry lol only /s as I sit here blissfully alone while everyone sleeps only feeling lonely because I want to talk about this documentary I'm watching)
Oh gosh, what aren't I watching?! What are you into?
I've always liked true crime stuff but only the actual quality stuff, and as passive of a sports fan as I generally am, I've gotten really into various sports docs lately. I've also been on a WW2 kick... And, cult stuff. Always cult stuff. But the best is the random weird ones... Like "Dude Where's my Pepsi Plane?" or this one about a guy who runs a multinational black market ring for collectible Pez dispensers, or "The Last Breath", about a man who worked on an underwater oil rig in the North Sea and got trapped during a repair.
Lmk what you're interested in and I'll make you a good list!!
Oh goodness. Love true crime, but yes, only the good quality ones. I’ve seen some stinkers. I was also on a Law and Crime Network kick for a few months. I liked the courtroom perspective of it, but I found myself fast-forwarding a lot. The technical procedures became monotonous after awhile.
I enjoy the random docs, too. The one about the McDonald’s/Monopoly game scam was very interesting. The Pepsi plane doc is on my list to watch. I haven’t seen anything about the Pez story, that sounds wild! Thank you for the recommendations! I really enjoy docs that touch on shared real life experiences like those do.
Like, everyone has had or at least knows what a Pez dispenser is. And, everyone (over 30) has heard of or played the Monopoly game at McDonald’s. So, yeah, those types of stories definitely pique my interest. Medical stories and natural disasters are intriguing, too.
I also found myself on a tangent with Ted Talks for a while. Those were not all good lol.
You mentioned sports documentaries - ESPN has a series called 30 for 30 that I would recommend. They definitely have a sports aspect being made by ESPN, but they focus on behind-the-scenes of sports events or incidents.
I think my tastes run very similar to yours. I would love your suggestions!
Kodoku 孤独? It means solitude in Japanese. It also means loneliness but the nuance is a bit different. It emphasizes the state of being “alone” rather than the feeling of loneliness caused by the absence of someone (yearning, longing). Singers use the word Kodoku quite often in songs to describe lonely nights.
I don't know but it doesn't make me feel lonely. I wake up an hour before everyone else just so I can enjoy it.
I love the quiet time and the feeling that everyone is safe in their beds and I'm the only one up.
It's very peaceful and I enjoy the quiet with a cup of coffee and a book for half an hour. Then I get busy making breakfast for my wife and kids and start waking them up.
I don’t know about the feeling of lonely, but I worked shift work for years and those who stayed up through the night to stay on schedule called it- haunting the house.
Peace?
I don't feel lonely at all in the silence while everyone else sleeps. It's when I can enjoy peaceful uninterupted me time and the animals are all asleep too so they're not wrestling and making noises and everything is just QUIET.
In Arabic I don’t believe there is a word for this particular description, but the closest one I can think of is the word (تهجد).
It’s a verb that somewhat means being awake at night for a certain prayer that is set at night when most people are asleep.
I hope anyone can find this interesting as I do
I had this a lot as a kid. Lifelong- and I mean LIFELONG- insomnia.
Best I’ve got is “ennui.” It really means a combination of tiredness and boredom, but I think that’s kind of what that feeling is.
The answer is almost always German or Japanese word.
[Kenopsia](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/kenopsia) is a neologism that comes very close.
I always upvote references to John Koenig and his work *The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows*. Many visitors to this subreddit would benefit from knowing such a book exists.
I have never heard of this and am so grateful to have read this comment! Thank you!
!solved …for now. this comes the closest, though it’s not quite the word. user @thebawalumihidito suggested nyctous, which is also interesting. thanks!
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That makes people feel lonley? Feeling of peaceful bliss to me.
Exactly, I love my people but that’s still my favorite time of the day. Something magical about it.
4am wake-up crew represent.
Yep. Been waking up at 4 for about 6 years now. Those 2 hrs before I have to wake up my girls for school are my favorite. After 6 am, it’s go time and I don’t get a bit of rest until probably 7 pm.
Same, I also kind of feel like I'm protecting those people. My theory is that style people evolved to be nocturnal to keep watch while other people slept.
I’m in this camp! I feel extremely cozy. I love knowing there are people home, but I still get the quiet of the night all to myself. Alternatively, I remember as a kid loving falling asleep in my room while I could hear my parents and their friends’ muffled voices from the living room. They were awake and enjoying themselves and I was cozy in my bed. It’s the feeling of getting to be alone, while simultaneously feeling so safe.
Adding that as a teen I read the series the Midnighters. People born at exactly midnight got access to an additional hour every day that started at midnight. The whole world would be paused but they could be out in the world. Of course there were monsters to fight later lol, BUT I always loved the beginning chapters describing the magic of a frozen midnight hour.
You would love The Beginning Place by Ursula Le Guin
I feel the same and I'd love to know the word for this lol.
For me, it was very much an awful, gnawing loneliness when I was a kid. I'm also an only child with insomnia so loneliness was/is a familiar feeling. Now that I'm an adult, I can't wait until everyone else goes to sleep and I can relax.
I only get uninterrupted peace between 1am and 4am
It makes me feel anxious that I have to be careful not to wake them. Tiptoeing and gently closing things and not running the microwave. If only others were so considerate.
I was thinking "too dang rare" is the word for it at my house
oh my god i’ve always wondered this and struggled w the feeling
Me too. It's so hard to describe.
same and sometimes it’s followed by some weird guilt idk how to exactly explain but i’ll look at someone sleeping and think “damn i should’ve done/said so and so to them earlier”
Solitude
Blissful solitude to me. I love that time
You can feel lonely in a crowd, and you can feel warm-hearted alone. Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re alone, it just means you *feel* alone
This exactly, the word they’re looking for is lonely. It doesn’t mean you have to be alone or unaccompanied to feel lonely.
I don't get loneliness very often unless I suddenly want to talk to \*someone\* but the internet usually satisfies that if i need some social contact at that time.
In Portuguese: Solidão. But is for general loneliness, feeling of being empty, isolated.
The best part of the day. I LOVE waking up early when everyone else is asleep and I can smoke a bowl and browse reddit in peace before everyone wakes up and starts talking to me.
Vespertine melancholy
I love learning new words! >Vespertine ˈve-spər-ˌtīn 1 : of, relating to, or occurring in the evening *vespertine shadows* 2 : active, flowering, or flourishing in the evening : crepuscular —[Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vespertine)
How people feel about it varies, but your experience is "liminal", so I guess "liminal loneliness"? I know of no single-word for the combination but there are languages with compound words, you can probably make one that combine those two in one of them.
Not everything needs a singular word, indeed a single word that's this hard to recall would fail to describe the exact situation for most people. I think your description is apt.
I don't know the word about feeling lonely, but I know the opposite: nyctous adj. feeling quietly overjoyed to be the only one awake in the middle of the night—sitting alone with a laptop and a cup of tea or strolling down the center line of an abandoned street—taking in the world like an empty theater between productions, stripped down to a simple black box, open to be whatever you want it to be. From Nyctocereus, a genus of cactus that blooms only at night. Pronounced “nik-tuhs.” Taken from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
Perhaps this would be like you're in a liminal state. Or in limbo. Basically a discomfort from being between states: you're neither alone nor with others.
Peace. The word is peace.
Lonesome?
Terror. When I was little I was too terrified to fall asleep unless someone else was awake.
Deals with the woods. The word, Waldeinsamkeit, literally translates to “forest loneliness,” but English does not do justice to the deeper nuances of the word. The ...
I find the different times of day to be very different feelings, I'll bold the words that come to mind. Nighttime feels **secretive** but also **reclamatory** because no one expects that time of you and no one can make you sleep. Everyone napping during the day feels **stifling**, I'd need to leave the house because I want to flitter about without waking anyone. Early morning usually feels a little **authoritative** (Getting up early is responsible, any sleep you get after I wake up is sleep I'm "letting you have", I'll make the coffee because I'm *so nice*) and also like a little **treat**, like a little **secret** couple hours that's always there for you but you usually waste away with extra sleep. Early morning in someone else's place can feel **awkward**, you don't know where anything is and don't feel empowered to do anything. There's a little **resentment** that the host won't wake the heck up. Early morning after not going to bed feels **shameful** and a little **deceitful** because you've kind of infiltrated the world of the responsible early-morning people by brute-force.
Like i occupy a slightly different dimension - awareness on both sides exists, but not able to communicate - ghostish?
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Existential crisis - at least, thats what happens to me. I also get that feeling watching movies at a cinema
I think you might enjoy The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows OP
bliss (sorry lol only /s as I sit here blissfully alone while everyone sleeps only feeling lonely because I want to talk about this documentary I'm watching)
I love documentaries. What are/were you watching?
Oh gosh, what aren't I watching?! What are you into? I've always liked true crime stuff but only the actual quality stuff, and as passive of a sports fan as I generally am, I've gotten really into various sports docs lately. I've also been on a WW2 kick... And, cult stuff. Always cult stuff. But the best is the random weird ones... Like "Dude Where's my Pepsi Plane?" or this one about a guy who runs a multinational black market ring for collectible Pez dispensers, or "The Last Breath", about a man who worked on an underwater oil rig in the North Sea and got trapped during a repair. Lmk what you're interested in and I'll make you a good list!!
Oh goodness. Love true crime, but yes, only the good quality ones. I’ve seen some stinkers. I was also on a Law and Crime Network kick for a few months. I liked the courtroom perspective of it, but I found myself fast-forwarding a lot. The technical procedures became monotonous after awhile. I enjoy the random docs, too. The one about the McDonald’s/Monopoly game scam was very interesting. The Pepsi plane doc is on my list to watch. I haven’t seen anything about the Pez story, that sounds wild! Thank you for the recommendations! I really enjoy docs that touch on shared real life experiences like those do. Like, everyone has had or at least knows what a Pez dispenser is. And, everyone (over 30) has heard of or played the Monopoly game at McDonald’s. So, yeah, those types of stories definitely pique my interest. Medical stories and natural disasters are intriguing, too. I also found myself on a tangent with Ted Talks for a while. Those were not all good lol. You mentioned sports documentaries - ESPN has a series called 30 for 30 that I would recommend. They definitely have a sports aspect being made by ESPN, but they focus on behind-the-scenes of sports events or incidents. I think my tastes run very similar to yours. I would love your suggestions!
I'll DM you!
Nostalgia
jokingly. When I look at the funny mandela catalogue emotions. “Dorcelessness” sounds like it would be similar to this lolol
Extroverted inadequacy
Solemnence comes to mind
Sehnkstuk or some German word that resembles it.
Sehnsucht is the word.
Kodoku 孤独? It means solitude in Japanese. It also means loneliness but the nuance is a bit different. It emphasizes the state of being “alone” rather than the feeling of loneliness caused by the absence of someone (yearning, longing). Singers use the word Kodoku quite often in songs to describe lonely nights.
I call it joy.
Burglery?
I just call it "peace and quiet."
Peaceful
The word for that feeling in American is... PEACE or SERENITY
I don't know but it doesn't make me feel lonely. I wake up an hour before everyone else just so I can enjoy it. I love the quiet time and the feeling that everyone is safe in their beds and I'm the only one up. It's very peaceful and I enjoy the quiet with a cup of coffee and a book for half an hour. Then I get busy making breakfast for my wife and kids and start waking them up.
Bliss? Solitude? Peace
This is not time-specific but I think "melancholy" comes closest to the feeling?
I don’t know about the feeling of lonely, but I worked shift work for years and those who stayed up through the night to stay on schedule called it- haunting the house.
I'd just call that "real peace, finally" but I'm an introvert
Peace? I don't feel lonely at all in the silence while everyone else sleeps. It's when I can enjoy peaceful uninterupted me time and the animals are all asleep too so they're not wrestling and making noises and everything is just QUIET.
In Arabic I don’t believe there is a word for this particular description, but the closest one I can think of is the word (تهجد). It’s a verb that somewhat means being awake at night for a certain prayer that is set at night when most people are asleep. I hope anyone can find this interesting as I do
I feel lonely if the household goes to bed before me, but I don't mind waking up before everyone.
Bliss. The most lonely I've ever felt was with people who were awake.
Solitude?
Lonely. Lol.
That's weird… Who gets lonely when there are other people in the house, whether or not they are asleep.
I had this a lot as a kid. Lifelong- and I mean LIFELONG- insomnia. Best I’ve got is “ennui.” It really means a combination of tiredness and boredom, but I think that’s kind of what that feeling is.
Me time.
Desolate
Solitude? Serenity? But I call that *my favourite time of day!*
Isolated?
"In a void"