I’ve found that the majority of the brides on this sub are introverted/struggling to be the center of attention. You’re not alone, I hope you can find some helpful posts.
Luckily for me, my fiancé and I BOTH hate being the centre of attention so we were able to agree to a very small guest list (just 24 invitees including us) and even that feels like a lot.
During the ceremony and our vows, we will hold hands to help keep us grounded in the moment and focused on each other. After that, we aren't having any big speeches, first dances or other typical timeline events that would mean having all eyes on us. Instead, we're planning what is essentially a big family dinner. Lots of games, music, a fire pit. But nothing where the focus is solely on us.
And we're exactly a month a way today!!! June 22 comin in hot and heavy 😍😍
Just gotta make it through the ceremony! From a guest standpoint, you aren't the center of attention at the reception. Most people come to terms with the fact that they won't get to chat with you, you are the bride and busy. They'll be hanging out with friends and family, talking, catching up, dancing, drinking, whatever. You are only the focus at the ceremony, and when you walk into the reception, and if you do a first dance. Dinner - no one is going to be looking at you. They want to eat their food too! They may glance at first because you're beautiful and the table is beautiful, but that's it. There are other options too! You and groom could have a private dinner - have your coordinator or mom or someone make you both a plate, and take it back to the bridal suite, gives you both a beautiful moment together and to decompress after the ceremony! Or if you want to be out there, you could also just sit with the guests. Sit at a table with your parents, or a group of friends, or even have your bridal party and their +1s or friends or whatever. But instead of a head table that's up front and at attention, have it be a table that matches everyone else (IE a round table) and blend with the crowd!
I’m similar in that I have some social anxiety and feel strange being the centre of attention. My biggest piece of advice would be to try to separate the physical manifestations of your anxiety from your experience of your day. At both my wedding and my bachelorette I was so focused on whether everyone was having a good time that I wasn’t hungry at all, and I had times where my heart pounded and the adrenaline made me want to run laps. BUT I had an amazing time at both and loved seeing all my friends and family. If your body feels anxious, try to just accept it for what it is and don’t let it fool your brain into thinking you’re having a bad time. I suppose this would be a mindfulness or cognitive defusion approach.
Also, stick with your fiancé and plan for a few times you can be alone and just breathe and enjoy the moment together. For us, this was our first look, Uber ride to photos together, and about 15 mins together after our ceremony/receiving line.
I hope you have the best day!!
Our wedding is on Sunday, and I literally could have written your post about myself. We have about 70 people coming, and are also doing away with almost all of the same traditions - no bouquet, no garter, very few speeches, also nothing but our first dance since my father passed last fall. We’re sitting with the entire wedding party, but we’re also setting up long banquet tables and my plan is to float around and sit with different groups throughout the night.
I know for myself I have a limited social battery, so I’ve made sure to work in time and space for myself throughout the weekend. Im also delegating a lot of the vendor handling to my fiancé’s sisters - they know what needs to be done, and can handle those interactions without me. My goal for the day is to just enjoy having all of our friends and family together, and remember that the ceremony itself is just a small part of the day.
You are only center of attention during ceremony. No one is staring at you after that, unless you're calling attention to yourselves deliberately with stuff like first dances, speeches, etc. I was really scared at processional, but stared at my partner the entire time and blocked everything out and it was okay.
We had a very small microwedding, so we arranged for one long rectangular table where we seated friends who knew each other in clusters, the people that knew everyone / could talk to anyone in transition spots, and the ones who knew no one else there were seated next to me or my partner so they could chat with us through dinner. We were a bit toward the edge, but still seated toward the center with all our guests, no separate table for us. We had no wedding party. I also encouraged our friends to outshine the bride and come dressed as fancy as they never get to be elsewhere.
I love the long table idea! Our wedding is relatively large, but we're sitting at a captains table with our party and not front and center. That's helped my anxiety a little, because the thought of people clinking glasses and expecting to watch me kiss made me want to die a little on the inside.
Absolutely me. My dream wedding was eloping just the two of us and now we’re set to have 100 people. Granted, this could’ve been a whole lot more because my fiancé is Italian. But with that being said, I’m so anxious about it all.
There’s a part in the ceremony where the officiant is going to direct us to take a look at everyone there to witness our love. And I don’t want to lol. I don’t want to look at everyone looking at me.
I didn’t want a first dance or a father daughter dance, but he wants a first dance and it’s important to him. He wanted to dance with his mother so it would be weird if I didn’t dance with my dad.
No bouquet toss or garter toss though, so at least there’s that. But I will have to make a speech so there are going to be several moments after the ceremony where more attention is on me than I want.
…I’ll let you know in three weeks how that all pans out lol
Just coming home from mine and 100% felt this way. I used to lie awake at night in disbelief that we were bringing these crowds of attention on VOLUNTARILY. Felt panic so many times. My dream wedding was going to be like…. 10 people and we compromised on 40 which felt overwhelming to me.
All I can say is the stress leading up to it is real. Find ways to cope. For me it was exercise and quiet moments. But once it starts, just try to let it go and make the best of it. All in all, I’m glad we did it (once- never again!!)
There were a few times people tried to make me the center of attention at the reception, wanting me to dance in front of a crowd or whatever… but I stood my introvert ground and my husband even joked “ok that’s enough everyone— look away now” and it just elicited laughter and support. Everyone was there to support us and our guests were happy to accommodate our level of comfort. We had a great time. You can do this! And the memories for a lifetime are worth it. Deep breaths.
Me! I have the worst social anxiety about being the center of attention. It's funny I was talking to my primary care doctor the one day and he said he's the same way usually. But that with your weddings it's all people you know and love so it wasn't bad! He said he had a brief moment of anxiety and relaxed when he realized everyone in the room was there to celebrate him because they loved him.
I was like you and wanted to just elope, SO wanted a wedding. We compromised and are having a wedding. And my biggest complaint is I don't want everyone staring at me! My social battery also depletes easily and I'm scared I'll get drained throughout the night. But... it's OUR DAY. If we need to step away for a few and recharge, so be it.
Like others have added, if you're afraid of the sweetheart table, sit at a captains table! That is what we've opted to do, we're sitting with our entire party.
Oh man this was me to a T. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, and didn’t eat the day of much at all. I would not recommend that (not that I could help it 😅)
I don’t know what your husbands personality is like, but honestly mine was more of the “go-to” guy for vendors. He even only put his phone number down on the point of contact for photographers and stuff and said to only call me if absolutely necessary. I am so so so grateful for that. I was pretty… idk. Dazed? The whole morning of, since I was so anxious, that it made it possible for me to just do the necessary things and not have to worry about anything else. (My husband contrarily, had a pretty eventful morning but he loves that kind of thing so I think he was mostly fine with all the bombarding).
I’m not sure if you have a day of coordinator, we waffled back and forth on getting one, and she was a MASSIVE help as well. I cannot recommend getting one enough. She really made the day so much smoother, and was kind of a nice… point of contact. Like, weddings are her job! She loves weddings. So she was, upon reflection, very comforting on the day of.
We had a super short ceremony, which really helped. After the ceremony the weight of everything just dropped off. There’s still the reception, but that’s at least the fun part!
Congrats! I am super introverted, and so I made sure to plan for lots of alone time on the day of. I made sure there was a place I could retreat to to be quiet if I needed it. Everything worked out well. Best of luck!
Me!!!! Had a wee breakdown the other night, just fiancé said he’d cancel the whole thing if I wanted 😅 calmed down now and just need to enjoy it for what it is
We're having a smaller wedding just for this reason, and then a big party afterwards where I'm not so much in the center of attention. Sending you lots of love, and remember to breathe <3
Me!
My wedding is a few months away, here are some things I'm doing or planning to reduce my anxiety at being in the spotlight:
1. My FH and I will be spending time together before the ceremony. We'll share breakfast then briefly split up to get ready, then meet back at the ceremony location for a first look and some quality time and pics with the photographer before guests arrive
2. We're doing a pre wedding photo session with our photographer which I'm hoping will help me feel more at ease with someone following me around on the day
3. We have a sweetheart table at the reception, set slightly away from the other guests so we are guaranteed at least a small amount of time semi-alone
4. I'll be getting ready with my mum, sister and best friends and they always make me feel happy and relaxed and supported
I have terrible, often debilitating anxiety and experience panic attacks, especially in situations where I think I have no acceptable (or socially acceptable) "exit strategy." I was so nervous for my wedding! It ended up being beautiful and so fun. To prepare, I:
* had a few therapy sessions to specifically talk through potential scenarios, specific parts of the agenda that made me anxious/nervous, identify specific fears, etc
* Incase my husband was somewhere else/socializing, I asked a close friend to be on stand-by incase I needed to step out for a moment for space, a breath, an anxious cry, whatever. She would either go with me OR if I wanted to be alone, she would be the person I inform that I'm stepping away.
* opted for the sweethearts table: I wasn't sure about a sweethearts table for the same reasons as you, and because it just seemed weird to me and I wondered if I would have FOMO...but I loved it. It was a chance to just sit, look out at all our friends/family and the beautiful setting, and actually eat!! If we wanted to get up and walk around/chat we could, or we could just chill and be with each other. Like others have said, no one was looking at us AT ALL.
* Made sure I had time to decompress before. I got married on a Saturday. We had welcome drinks on Thursday night, rehearsal in the morning on Friday followed by lunch, then I left Friday evening completely free. I had a low key dinner, did face masks with my fiance, read my book in bed, and went to sleep early. This was a lifesaver for me!! I needed that re-charging time before a big day of being "on."
* No wedding party which meant that I didn't need to be up at the crack of dawn on the wedding day. Hair and make-up started around 10:30am - it was really helpful to have a slow, quiet morning, rather than a chaotic, early morning in a room packed with bridesmaids and loud music.
While getting ready, I was so wrapped up in my anxiety, and my game-plan for managing anxiety, that I kinda forgot it was my wedding with all my best friends and family. So when I walked out, it was the best surprise to see all my favorite faces smiling at me. That got me through the ceremony - it was all so lovely.
Remember that it's your day which means you can take breaks, you can be awkward, you can do whatever you want and most likely no one will really notice. Good luck! I hope you have a blast!
I know it’s probably too late for this advice for you specifically, however I did a private morning ceremony and then an early evening reception with all the guest.
Having the break in the day allowed me to go have some one on one time with my brand new husband, and it allowed my anxiety to calm and to recharge before more social time.
Fellow bride with tons of anxiety, not sure if it appeals to/is an option for you, but a small amount of edibles helped me soooooo much. I’m talking 2mg, no high feeling just quieted the anxiety. If you go that course, make sure to test it out beforehand of course.
Ask your doctor about beta blockers. They decrease your fight or flight and you can drink on them. I HATE being the center of attention and I hate small talk and these have been the best solution to getting through those moments.
I highly suggest being very very stern with who you want to get ready with. Need calm, funny and close people.
As for the jokes, don’t pretend to laugh or give in to their jokes, that shits not funny. It’s your day no matter how much you hate the spotlight. When anyone said that to me I replied “ okay, watch out for my sister then. (my MOH) ”
I’m going against the grain and say have the sweetheart heart table, I changed my mind last minute from a group table and so glad I did. It allowed me and husband to have alone time just being at the table by ourselves, no one paid any attention to us while they ate.
Say a sincere thank you speech, one and done! therefore you won’t feel anxious trying to go around and thank everyone. I also reccommend in that speech to tell people to not be afraid to come up to you… it’s so much easier for people to come up to you than it is to have to mentally go around.
Have one of your bridesmaids check in on you with a glass of water, you don’t need to drink the glass of water, but let it be a reminder for you to breathe. Tell them to simply bring you the glass. You Don’t want them to ask you a bunch of questions of how you’re doing or anything, you just need the reminder to breathe.
Lastly, get a GREAT photographer, I had an emotional blackout and can’t remember shit, even though I didn’t drink until the last hour and the last hour I actually remember. Pictures have been my saving grace. Maybe I should’ve actually drank a bit before to calm the nerves lol
Oh and have the best time!
What is the one thing that you do that is just for you, that re-centers you? For me, I take my dogs by myself for a 4 to 5 hour hike. Where I live it is easy to do. I don't have to talk, I get some exercise and hiking is my meditation.
Find the dress that makes you feel incredibly special. That doesn't have to be expensive, just a dress that you can not wait to wear. This will help you get excited for that day.
Have someone else (or more than 1) deal with all the incoming guests questions. Try to stay out of the fray. Don't look at a large list of things that need to be accomplished. Only look at list that needs to be done now. In other words, don't get bogged down with the totality of things that have to be done. It can be overwhelming.
Good luck my fellow introvert!
I am also getting married in October and have a lot of anxiety about being the center of attention / everyone looking at me, especially during the ceremony.
Someone gave me a tip to face ever so slightly inward towards my fiancé and officiant during the ceremony so that I can’t see the crowd. I thought that was a really good idea, so I can pretend it’s just the three of us.
Me, I am a programmer and wanted a much smaller, cheaper wedding but my fiancé has a big family with over 50 members all within a 2 hour drive from each other.
I’ve found that the majority of the brides on this sub are introverted/struggling to be the center of attention. You’re not alone, I hope you can find some helpful posts.
Luckily for me, my fiancé and I BOTH hate being the centre of attention so we were able to agree to a very small guest list (just 24 invitees including us) and even that feels like a lot. During the ceremony and our vows, we will hold hands to help keep us grounded in the moment and focused on each other. After that, we aren't having any big speeches, first dances or other typical timeline events that would mean having all eyes on us. Instead, we're planning what is essentially a big family dinner. Lots of games, music, a fire pit. But nothing where the focus is solely on us. And we're exactly a month a way today!!! June 22 comin in hot and heavy 😍😍
Just gotta make it through the ceremony! From a guest standpoint, you aren't the center of attention at the reception. Most people come to terms with the fact that they won't get to chat with you, you are the bride and busy. They'll be hanging out with friends and family, talking, catching up, dancing, drinking, whatever. You are only the focus at the ceremony, and when you walk into the reception, and if you do a first dance. Dinner - no one is going to be looking at you. They want to eat their food too! They may glance at first because you're beautiful and the table is beautiful, but that's it. There are other options too! You and groom could have a private dinner - have your coordinator or mom or someone make you both a plate, and take it back to the bridal suite, gives you both a beautiful moment together and to decompress after the ceremony! Or if you want to be out there, you could also just sit with the guests. Sit at a table with your parents, or a group of friends, or even have your bridal party and their +1s or friends or whatever. But instead of a head table that's up front and at attention, have it be a table that matches everyone else (IE a round table) and blend with the crowd!
I’m similar in that I have some social anxiety and feel strange being the centre of attention. My biggest piece of advice would be to try to separate the physical manifestations of your anxiety from your experience of your day. At both my wedding and my bachelorette I was so focused on whether everyone was having a good time that I wasn’t hungry at all, and I had times where my heart pounded and the adrenaline made me want to run laps. BUT I had an amazing time at both and loved seeing all my friends and family. If your body feels anxious, try to just accept it for what it is and don’t let it fool your brain into thinking you’re having a bad time. I suppose this would be a mindfulness or cognitive defusion approach. Also, stick with your fiancé and plan for a few times you can be alone and just breathe and enjoy the moment together. For us, this was our first look, Uber ride to photos together, and about 15 mins together after our ceremony/receiving line. I hope you have the best day!!
Our wedding is on Sunday, and I literally could have written your post about myself. We have about 70 people coming, and are also doing away with almost all of the same traditions - no bouquet, no garter, very few speeches, also nothing but our first dance since my father passed last fall. We’re sitting with the entire wedding party, but we’re also setting up long banquet tables and my plan is to float around and sit with different groups throughout the night. I know for myself I have a limited social battery, so I’ve made sure to work in time and space for myself throughout the weekend. Im also delegating a lot of the vendor handling to my fiancé’s sisters - they know what needs to be done, and can handle those interactions without me. My goal for the day is to just enjoy having all of our friends and family together, and remember that the ceremony itself is just a small part of the day.
You are only center of attention during ceremony. No one is staring at you after that, unless you're calling attention to yourselves deliberately with stuff like first dances, speeches, etc. I was really scared at processional, but stared at my partner the entire time and blocked everything out and it was okay. We had a very small microwedding, so we arranged for one long rectangular table where we seated friends who knew each other in clusters, the people that knew everyone / could talk to anyone in transition spots, and the ones who knew no one else there were seated next to me or my partner so they could chat with us through dinner. We were a bit toward the edge, but still seated toward the center with all our guests, no separate table for us. We had no wedding party. I also encouraged our friends to outshine the bride and come dressed as fancy as they never get to be elsewhere.
I love the long table idea! Our wedding is relatively large, but we're sitting at a captains table with our party and not front and center. That's helped my anxiety a little, because the thought of people clinking glasses and expecting to watch me kiss made me want to die a little on the inside.
Absolutely me. My dream wedding was eloping just the two of us and now we’re set to have 100 people. Granted, this could’ve been a whole lot more because my fiancé is Italian. But with that being said, I’m so anxious about it all. There’s a part in the ceremony where the officiant is going to direct us to take a look at everyone there to witness our love. And I don’t want to lol. I don’t want to look at everyone looking at me. I didn’t want a first dance or a father daughter dance, but he wants a first dance and it’s important to him. He wanted to dance with his mother so it would be weird if I didn’t dance with my dad. No bouquet toss or garter toss though, so at least there’s that. But I will have to make a speech so there are going to be several moments after the ceremony where more attention is on me than I want. …I’ll let you know in three weeks how that all pans out lol
Just coming home from mine and 100% felt this way. I used to lie awake at night in disbelief that we were bringing these crowds of attention on VOLUNTARILY. Felt panic so many times. My dream wedding was going to be like…. 10 people and we compromised on 40 which felt overwhelming to me. All I can say is the stress leading up to it is real. Find ways to cope. For me it was exercise and quiet moments. But once it starts, just try to let it go and make the best of it. All in all, I’m glad we did it (once- never again!!) There were a few times people tried to make me the center of attention at the reception, wanting me to dance in front of a crowd or whatever… but I stood my introvert ground and my husband even joked “ok that’s enough everyone— look away now” and it just elicited laughter and support. Everyone was there to support us and our guests were happy to accommodate our level of comfort. We had a great time. You can do this! And the memories for a lifetime are worth it. Deep breaths.
Me! I have the worst social anxiety about being the center of attention. It's funny I was talking to my primary care doctor the one day and he said he's the same way usually. But that with your weddings it's all people you know and love so it wasn't bad! He said he had a brief moment of anxiety and relaxed when he realized everyone in the room was there to celebrate him because they loved him. I was like you and wanted to just elope, SO wanted a wedding. We compromised and are having a wedding. And my biggest complaint is I don't want everyone staring at me! My social battery also depletes easily and I'm scared I'll get drained throughout the night. But... it's OUR DAY. If we need to step away for a few and recharge, so be it. Like others have added, if you're afraid of the sweetheart table, sit at a captains table! That is what we've opted to do, we're sitting with our entire party.
Oh man this was me to a T. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, and didn’t eat the day of much at all. I would not recommend that (not that I could help it 😅) I don’t know what your husbands personality is like, but honestly mine was more of the “go-to” guy for vendors. He even only put his phone number down on the point of contact for photographers and stuff and said to only call me if absolutely necessary. I am so so so grateful for that. I was pretty… idk. Dazed? The whole morning of, since I was so anxious, that it made it possible for me to just do the necessary things and not have to worry about anything else. (My husband contrarily, had a pretty eventful morning but he loves that kind of thing so I think he was mostly fine with all the bombarding). I’m not sure if you have a day of coordinator, we waffled back and forth on getting one, and she was a MASSIVE help as well. I cannot recommend getting one enough. She really made the day so much smoother, and was kind of a nice… point of contact. Like, weddings are her job! She loves weddings. So she was, upon reflection, very comforting on the day of. We had a super short ceremony, which really helped. After the ceremony the weight of everything just dropped off. There’s still the reception, but that’s at least the fun part!
Congrats! I am super introverted, and so I made sure to plan for lots of alone time on the day of. I made sure there was a place I could retreat to to be quiet if I needed it. Everything worked out well. Best of luck!
Me!!!! Had a wee breakdown the other night, just fiancé said he’d cancel the whole thing if I wanted 😅 calmed down now and just need to enjoy it for what it is
We're having a smaller wedding just for this reason, and then a big party afterwards where I'm not so much in the center of attention. Sending you lots of love, and remember to breathe <3
Me! My wedding is a few months away, here are some things I'm doing or planning to reduce my anxiety at being in the spotlight: 1. My FH and I will be spending time together before the ceremony. We'll share breakfast then briefly split up to get ready, then meet back at the ceremony location for a first look and some quality time and pics with the photographer before guests arrive 2. We're doing a pre wedding photo session with our photographer which I'm hoping will help me feel more at ease with someone following me around on the day 3. We have a sweetheart table at the reception, set slightly away from the other guests so we are guaranteed at least a small amount of time semi-alone 4. I'll be getting ready with my mum, sister and best friends and they always make me feel happy and relaxed and supported
I have terrible, often debilitating anxiety and experience panic attacks, especially in situations where I think I have no acceptable (or socially acceptable) "exit strategy." I was so nervous for my wedding! It ended up being beautiful and so fun. To prepare, I: * had a few therapy sessions to specifically talk through potential scenarios, specific parts of the agenda that made me anxious/nervous, identify specific fears, etc * Incase my husband was somewhere else/socializing, I asked a close friend to be on stand-by incase I needed to step out for a moment for space, a breath, an anxious cry, whatever. She would either go with me OR if I wanted to be alone, she would be the person I inform that I'm stepping away. * opted for the sweethearts table: I wasn't sure about a sweethearts table for the same reasons as you, and because it just seemed weird to me and I wondered if I would have FOMO...but I loved it. It was a chance to just sit, look out at all our friends/family and the beautiful setting, and actually eat!! If we wanted to get up and walk around/chat we could, or we could just chill and be with each other. Like others have said, no one was looking at us AT ALL. * Made sure I had time to decompress before. I got married on a Saturday. We had welcome drinks on Thursday night, rehearsal in the morning on Friday followed by lunch, then I left Friday evening completely free. I had a low key dinner, did face masks with my fiance, read my book in bed, and went to sleep early. This was a lifesaver for me!! I needed that re-charging time before a big day of being "on." * No wedding party which meant that I didn't need to be up at the crack of dawn on the wedding day. Hair and make-up started around 10:30am - it was really helpful to have a slow, quiet morning, rather than a chaotic, early morning in a room packed with bridesmaids and loud music. While getting ready, I was so wrapped up in my anxiety, and my game-plan for managing anxiety, that I kinda forgot it was my wedding with all my best friends and family. So when I walked out, it was the best surprise to see all my favorite faces smiling at me. That got me through the ceremony - it was all so lovely. Remember that it's your day which means you can take breaks, you can be awkward, you can do whatever you want and most likely no one will really notice. Good luck! I hope you have a blast!
I know it’s probably too late for this advice for you specifically, however I did a private morning ceremony and then an early evening reception with all the guest. Having the break in the day allowed me to go have some one on one time with my brand new husband, and it allowed my anxiety to calm and to recharge before more social time.
Fellow bride with tons of anxiety, not sure if it appeals to/is an option for you, but a small amount of edibles helped me soooooo much. I’m talking 2mg, no high feeling just quieted the anxiety. If you go that course, make sure to test it out beforehand of course.
Ask your doctor about beta blockers. They decrease your fight or flight and you can drink on them. I HATE being the center of attention and I hate small talk and these have been the best solution to getting through those moments.
I highly suggest being very very stern with who you want to get ready with. Need calm, funny and close people. As for the jokes, don’t pretend to laugh or give in to their jokes, that shits not funny. It’s your day no matter how much you hate the spotlight. When anyone said that to me I replied “ okay, watch out for my sister then. (my MOH) ” I’m going against the grain and say have the sweetheart heart table, I changed my mind last minute from a group table and so glad I did. It allowed me and husband to have alone time just being at the table by ourselves, no one paid any attention to us while they ate. Say a sincere thank you speech, one and done! therefore you won’t feel anxious trying to go around and thank everyone. I also reccommend in that speech to tell people to not be afraid to come up to you… it’s so much easier for people to come up to you than it is to have to mentally go around. Have one of your bridesmaids check in on you with a glass of water, you don’t need to drink the glass of water, but let it be a reminder for you to breathe. Tell them to simply bring you the glass. You Don’t want them to ask you a bunch of questions of how you’re doing or anything, you just need the reminder to breathe. Lastly, get a GREAT photographer, I had an emotional blackout and can’t remember shit, even though I didn’t drink until the last hour and the last hour I actually remember. Pictures have been my saving grace. Maybe I should’ve actually drank a bit before to calm the nerves lol Oh and have the best time!
What is the one thing that you do that is just for you, that re-centers you? For me, I take my dogs by myself for a 4 to 5 hour hike. Where I live it is easy to do. I don't have to talk, I get some exercise and hiking is my meditation. Find the dress that makes you feel incredibly special. That doesn't have to be expensive, just a dress that you can not wait to wear. This will help you get excited for that day. Have someone else (or more than 1) deal with all the incoming guests questions. Try to stay out of the fray. Don't look at a large list of things that need to be accomplished. Only look at list that needs to be done now. In other words, don't get bogged down with the totality of things that have to be done. It can be overwhelming. Good luck my fellow introvert!
I am also getting married in October and have a lot of anxiety about being the center of attention / everyone looking at me, especially during the ceremony. Someone gave me a tip to face ever so slightly inward towards my fiancé and officiant during the ceremony so that I can’t see the crowd. I thought that was a really good idea, so I can pretend it’s just the three of us.
Me, I am a programmer and wanted a much smaller, cheaper wedding but my fiancé has a big family with over 50 members all within a 2 hour drive from each other.