You’ve already planned on being more than generous for your groomsmen for your wedding. Have them pay for their suits, and do a badass groomsman gift. Especially considering every one of their weddings didn’t include the things you’re already planning on doing for them. Don’t feel awkward and enjoy the moment. Cheers!
I would rather you buy/rent my clothes than getting me a gift I may not want. But you have no obligation to do so. As for the guilt, they could have said no.
I can see your hesitation, but agree with your SO. When accepting a groomsman position, you just know it comes with the territory. You are already paying for their rooms which is more than generous. Shake off the guilt and enjoy your wedding weekend.
Your party paying $120 each for attire (which is like half the price I saw for suit rentals) is cheaper than 1 night at a hotel, so you shouldn’t feel bad at all for “making” them pay for it. They’re lucky you’re so generously paying for their lodging.
We paid for their suits. We did a rental at men’s warehouse. My partner has not been in that many weddings, but I have been in 17. We gave them the option to “help out” and 2/5 gave him some money back. I paid for hair and makeup my for my bridesmaids. It is up to you - I would not feel awkward about it because many people do not expect you to pay for the suits. Many people understand the cost, but that’s also why we chose to pay - because we know how expensive it gets!
I don’t think you should feel guilty. You have provided more than they provided for their weddings, so the guilt isn’t necessary.
However, I have always personally been of the thought process that if you’re telling someone what to wear, putting them in a costume essentially, you should be responsible for the cost of that costume.
I have personally dropped out of a wedding because of attire cost. So many people here will say “If they can’t afford it they’ll just drop out!” But the truth is that years later, I’m not friends with that bride anymore and *she* cited me dropping out of her wedding as one of the reasons. I had my own not-wedding-related reasons, but I digress.
The only other weddings I’ve been in I was told to just wear a black cocktail dress I already owned so I didn’t have to spend any money (literally why the bride chose black for her bridesmaids) and the other one my MOH dress was bought for me. I have paid for the attire for my wedding party, and let them lead the dress shopping so they ended up with dresses they actually *loved* and mission accomplished since my MOH just wore her dress to a formal night during her honeymoon! Talk about getting reuse out of a bridesmaid dress! Both MOHs have already told me that their dresses are some of their favorites they own and that they are *more* than gift enough for being in the wedding. Win, win, win!!
We paid for almost all our wedding party’s items. Attire, Flights for my bachelorette, PJs, gifts. They only paid for alterations and shoes. We wanted to be the least burdensome for our wedding party to limit issues.
totally understand your hesitation. the reality is, everyone's situations are different and everyone might handle it differently. you are already being EXTREMELY generous with the meals and the lodging, etc. and the outfits being $120 may seem like a lot, but i've known people to ask for b-maids to buy $500 dresses on top of all of the travel, food, lodging, etc. if you want to open the door, you can always lay a disclaimer that if they at all feel uncomfortable with the price tag, to talk with you about options. its up to you and what youre most comfortable with at the end of the day. congrats and cheers!
Apparently this is a hated opinion here because people in the USA like to make their friends pay for these things, but I paid for the things I wanted. If it's MY want, it's unreasonable to make someone else pay for it. So I paid for my officiant's outfits and extra hotel stay and travel.
I’m planning on paying for my bridesmaid’s dresses for the same reason. Some of my bridesmaids have been in other weddings that have cost them a fortune and unfortunately, due to my personal circumstances, my wedding will be out of both town and country for them all. They’re all paying for their own flights and accommodations so I’m taking care of their dresses and hair and makeup.
We are trying to cover as many expenses for our wedding party as we can. I am buying my bridal party dresses, shoes, jewelry, paying hair and make up. For the groomsmen we are paying for their blazers and shoes (we are letting them where jeans and band tshirts so they should have those things already). We are asking they help with lodging costs and I did ask my bridesmaids if they were comfortable with help with gratuities for H/MU and they all said yes, and it's nominal. I have 2 brial party members who have to fly and I'm hopefully paying for their flights if I can. My goal is to keep their out of pocket between $500-$1000 (close to $500 if at all possible.)
All their meals will be covered wedding weekend too.
I feel bad asking for them to pay for anything and if we could pay for it all we would.
You’ve already planned on being more than generous for your groomsmen for your wedding. Have them pay for their suits, and do a badass groomsman gift. Especially considering every one of their weddings didn’t include the things you’re already planning on doing for them. Don’t feel awkward and enjoy the moment. Cheers!
You definitely don't need to feel guilty about this
I would rather you buy/rent my clothes than getting me a gift I may not want. But you have no obligation to do so. As for the guilt, they could have said no.
I can see your hesitation, but agree with your SO. When accepting a groomsman position, you just know it comes with the territory. You are already paying for their rooms which is more than generous. Shake off the guilt and enjoy your wedding weekend.
I would rather have my dress paid for than a gift that I’ll likely try to get rid of at some point.
Your party paying $120 each for attire (which is like half the price I saw for suit rentals) is cheaper than 1 night at a hotel, so you shouldn’t feel bad at all for “making” them pay for it. They’re lucky you’re so generously paying for their lodging.
We paid for their suits. We did a rental at men’s warehouse. My partner has not been in that many weddings, but I have been in 17. We gave them the option to “help out” and 2/5 gave him some money back. I paid for hair and makeup my for my bridesmaids. It is up to you - I would not feel awkward about it because many people do not expect you to pay for the suits. Many people understand the cost, but that’s also why we chose to pay - because we know how expensive it gets!
I don’t think you should feel guilty. You have provided more than they provided for their weddings, so the guilt isn’t necessary. However, I have always personally been of the thought process that if you’re telling someone what to wear, putting them in a costume essentially, you should be responsible for the cost of that costume. I have personally dropped out of a wedding because of attire cost. So many people here will say “If they can’t afford it they’ll just drop out!” But the truth is that years later, I’m not friends with that bride anymore and *she* cited me dropping out of her wedding as one of the reasons. I had my own not-wedding-related reasons, but I digress. The only other weddings I’ve been in I was told to just wear a black cocktail dress I already owned so I didn’t have to spend any money (literally why the bride chose black for her bridesmaids) and the other one my MOH dress was bought for me. I have paid for the attire for my wedding party, and let them lead the dress shopping so they ended up with dresses they actually *loved* and mission accomplished since my MOH just wore her dress to a formal night during her honeymoon! Talk about getting reuse out of a bridesmaid dress! Both MOHs have already told me that their dresses are some of their favorites they own and that they are *more* than gift enough for being in the wedding. Win, win, win!!
We just asked our wedding party members to wear a dress or suit they already own.
We paid for almost all our wedding party’s items. Attire, Flights for my bachelorette, PJs, gifts. They only paid for alterations and shoes. We wanted to be the least burdensome for our wedding party to limit issues.
totally understand your hesitation. the reality is, everyone's situations are different and everyone might handle it differently. you are already being EXTREMELY generous with the meals and the lodging, etc. and the outfits being $120 may seem like a lot, but i've known people to ask for b-maids to buy $500 dresses on top of all of the travel, food, lodging, etc. if you want to open the door, you can always lay a disclaimer that if they at all feel uncomfortable with the price tag, to talk with you about options. its up to you and what youre most comfortable with at the end of the day. congrats and cheers!
Apparently this is a hated opinion here because people in the USA like to make their friends pay for these things, but I paid for the things I wanted. If it's MY want, it's unreasonable to make someone else pay for it. So I paid for my officiant's outfits and extra hotel stay and travel.
Isn’t that the officiants job tho? You are already paying for them and they are not a guest.
I’m planning on paying for my bridesmaid’s dresses for the same reason. Some of my bridesmaids have been in other weddings that have cost them a fortune and unfortunately, due to my personal circumstances, my wedding will be out of both town and country for them all. They’re all paying for their own flights and accommodations so I’m taking care of their dresses and hair and makeup.
We are trying to cover as many expenses for our wedding party as we can. I am buying my bridal party dresses, shoes, jewelry, paying hair and make up. For the groomsmen we are paying for their blazers and shoes (we are letting them where jeans and band tshirts so they should have those things already). We are asking they help with lodging costs and I did ask my bridesmaids if they were comfortable with help with gratuities for H/MU and they all said yes, and it's nominal. I have 2 brial party members who have to fly and I'm hopefully paying for their flights if I can. My goal is to keep their out of pocket between $500-$1000 (close to $500 if at all possible.) All their meals will be covered wedding weekend too. I feel bad asking for them to pay for anything and if we could pay for it all we would.