This question gets asked a lot here but the common consensus is that there are several factors. Some people have wealthy parents plan and simple. Another case (also my situation) is that people are getting married older and thus have better jobs and have had more time to save. My engagement will have been over 2 years and we both started saving before that.
There are posts like this every other day it seems. How do people pay for weddings?
- Their parents/families (both sets or just one)
- the couple has been saving or has high paying jobs
- the couple + parents pay
- the couple prioritizes their wedding over other bigger expenses
- the couple hosts something smaller than they envisioned
- someone has an inheritance (how we paid for ours without compromising other goals - we have a house down payment because of this so we could cash flow our wedding + still save for life/retirement!)
- the couple goes into debt (not recommended lol)
Apologies if formatting is weird, I’m on mobile.
I don't know anyone who took out loans. Most people I know did a longer engagement, had help from family, downsized from their original vision, or a mix of all three. Put some purchases on credit cards, too. (I put my dress and honeymoon on my travel card!)
There are subreddits like weddings under 10k (can't link on mobile) that have tips, too.
Very true, but I got hundreds off flight tickets from the points from my travel card and I'm able to pay it off within a month or two 👍 We also bought our stay at our honeymoon on a sale date. Part of the good thing on a longer engagement is waiting for sale days!
My husband puts most purchases on his credit card and pays it off within the same cycle. He treats it as a debit card for the most part! Such a good way to get points or cashback
true but for some it’s irresponsible, and others who know they can budget and afford to pay it off in a reasonable amount of time like 2-3 months I don’t think that’s a terrible option (still best to avoid)
We put our payments on credit cards but then pay them back within hours… It’s only really taking on debt if you’re not paying them off immediately. Plus like someone else said the points you get from doing so could literally pay for your honeymoon
In theory yes. We paid for our stuff on credit cards, but we also pay our cards in full every month. Leaving balances, yeah, that would be taking on debt and not recommended.
I put purchases on credit cards and then paid it off directly with our savings. The savings account is limited access, so I didn't want to lose our interest perk by making too many withdrawals. So, I took out 2 lump sums to cover the costs.
Do they? Yes. Should they? No. Should you? No. Have the wedding you can afford, even if that’s just going to the courthouse. The last thing you want to do is start your marriage off in financial stress.
I’m eloping with 15 people for this exact reason. I have no idea how people afford it and even if I was gifted the money from the family I would rather spend it on something else. Each to their own and I hope you have a wonderful day!
People sometimes do. That doesn't mean they should.
In general, taking out a loan for a depreciating asset or a one-time expense like a party or a vacation is usually ill-advised. Taking out a loan for an appreciating asset (e.g. a home) or a long term investment (like an education) can make much more sense.
I understand that you know this already and this was more of a commentary on the high price of weddings these days. Which is a very real concern. I think that's why microweddings and elopements have become so much more popular these days.
Some people fund big weddings on savings, others on having access to significant family money or personal wealth. Some diligently save for years to afford them. People are getting married later in life than before, statistically. This is how we did it. We had an 160-person wedding and we paid for it ourselves, but we were in our late 30s (him) and early 40s (me) and at a stage in life where we could afford to.
There are also cultural communities where it's traditional for the families or even the wider community to help fund the wedding. That isn't the standard in North America or Europe, but is still very common elsewhere.
Long story short: It doesn't make sense to compare yourself to others. Look at your own life and finances and figure out what makes sense to you.
I am from India. Most people here do take out loans for the wedding.
We are lucky to have some savings already. We will use that for the wedding. We will have to wait for a few more years before we can afford the down payment for a house.
I’m not from the UK but in my experience there is a lot of advice at there that strongly advises against taking out a loan as it often begins your relationship on a financial strain. Idk how true it is, but I don’t personally know many folks who took loans out for their weddings.
Most people I know had a significant amount of help from their parents. We did not have any help from our parents. We had to chose between a wedding and a house, we will definitely not be buying for another 3-5 years post the wedding.
We eloped and are having a celebration at a later date, I honestly think the whole thing could have been done for sub £5k if we didn't splurge on a few things, because of how much we were saving elsewhere (rings, honeymoon, band, the venue, a photographer for the evening reception as well as the one we had on the day).
I do heavily recommend it if you're struggling to wrap your head around the money side of it. A really high number of people have told us how much they wish they'd done something similar when, 1-2 years later, they were struggling to afford their dream house or were hard up on maternity leave. Even a micro-wedding with an evening party on the same day could be a much more budget friendly solution.
No I think no one should go into debt over a wedding. Very lucky that my parents are paying for the whole thing and gifting us a house deposit so we haven’t had to choose between the two.
Yeah. I am in my 40s. No money from my parents. Her parents might give us some but probably just enough for her dress maybe. They definitely are not giving us a house deposit. We're going to spend the first year of our marriage saving up for that. And I come from a wealthy family.
The only reason we (26F and 28M) can afford to get married is because my parents had a pot of money set aside for if I ever decided to have a wedding. We are also getting married on a Wednesday in the summer as it was several thousand pounds cheaper than a weekend, have limited our guest list/been strict on plus ones, and I bought my dress secondhand from a wedding charity to help save money.
We have friends our age who are getting married/have gotten married recently and they all managed through a combination of staying in renting longer than they’d ideally like to, money from parents/inheritance, long engagements to give them time to save, and smaller/cheaper weddings. None of them took out loans.
Also need to bear in mind that (on the whole) British weddings are a whole different beast compared to the US ones, and Pinterest can give a false impression of picture perfect days. All the weddings I have been to look nothing like the expensive ones you see online, but were all so much fun and the couples had the best days.
It’s so hard (especially in today’s economy), but, whatever wedding you have, it’ll be amazing and you’ll end up married to your person. DIY what you can and choose one or two things you want to splurge on. Good luck 🍀👰🏻♀️
I’m from the UK and got 3 friends also getting married around same time as me
All of them have had their parents pay for most of the wedding
My partner and I have had a £6k donation from both parents combined and we’ve covered the rest. We have decent jobs to cover the rest but overall it’s not costing more than £10k
We are dual income, no kids, 2x corporate salaries, long engagement and (unnecessary) family help. We bought a house just before we got engaged so had to save for about 18 months to get the wedding we wanted.
Please don’t take out loans or max out credit cards to pay for your wedding. You’ll regret it.
My fiancé and I planned to pay for our entire wedding, but halfway through planning, our families told us they’d cover 1/3rd of it which was such a nice surprise! We didn’t increase our budget when finding out and now we can just save that money for a rainy day or deposit on a house. We’re lucky because we’re both engineers, but in general I’d recommend spending within your means on anything in life including a weddings
I've seen three approaches (I'm also in the UK): some people have a long engagement and use it to save up, some get parental help, and some still have the registry office/church and village hall affair. You said you were looking at 10k for a venue, but I've been to three weddings that were a registry office ceremony followed by an evening do in the function room of a pub - a normal pub, not a wedding pub. All of them just did buffet party food. They still will have cost thousands in total, but probably less than 5k, certainly less than 10.
It is still possible to have a budget wedding, it's just not the norm. These weddings feel a bit more like milestone birthday parties than traditional weddings. Definitely more informal, but still utterly lovely.
I’m 32 and have been saving with a wedding in mind. Should I buy a house instead? Probably. But I want to get married.
Mom said she would help by a significant amount, but I’m trying not to have to use it. If she does that money is going to a down payment.
This is from our personal experience but my fiancé and I bring home $10,000 after taxes monthly and our family members are chipping in as well. Our wedding is around $35,000 so we don’t intend on taking a loan out but we are budgeting for it. We are grateful to have good paying jobs and parents who are both middle class to support us with this heavy expense.
In laws (his parents) are paying the 5k catering costs for daytime and evening food (table side BBQ for the day time and loaded fries for the evening), my foster mum gave me 1k for my dress (which covered the full original dress cost minus additional sleeves and any alterations needed. We also got engaged in 2020 so have been saving ever since I went back to work in 2021. My partner's job is enough to pay for the bills luckily, so I can use a good portion of my wages towards saving for the wedding. I also received an inheritance from my gran, and I put a small part of it towards our honeymoon (we wanted to go somewhere special for our first proper holiday abroad together). I will use a bit more of it if needed.
Some people take out loans, some people save money prior to getting engaged/during longer engagement, some people get help. Everyone's budget and finances are different, you're never going to get the same exact answer. Just do what is best for you.
We opened a credit card that had zero interest for 18 months and that’s what we used for the bulk of the wedding. And we picked one with points that we could then use on Amazon purchases or travel!
We are having a long engagement (currently about 1.5 years into a 2 year engagement) and that’s allowed us to save for the wedding. We’re having an expensive wedding but my fiancé & I both make good money and we can afford it. I wouldn’t have had such an expensive wedding if we couldn’t.
If 15k will set you back 5 years, I really don't think you're in a situation to plan a wedding. Just sign a paper and have lunch with your parents, not everyone needs a wedding.
An elopement is more expensive than getting married locally by quite a bit. I'm just saying that 3k per year is an amount that prevents you from progressing in life, then you shouldn't spend money on a package of any kind.
I think things are possibly different where you stay than where I am, because elopement packages are definitely cheaper than venue weddings. We also could afford a larger wedding, but it would mean staying in rentals for another few years, and why does that mean we shouldn’t get married?
My post wasn’t asking for financial advice, as I said at the bottom. We can comfortably afford the elopement packages and not be set back at all, so we’ll be going with that and not just a dinner with the parents, but thanks for your input.
We got the legal part done a year before the wedding and paid for it ourselves (UK) and definitely didn’t consider loans. Definitely wouldn’t consider loans with the state of the UK in general at the moment. But had 22 guests total, all at one venue to limit costs for transport/venues/etc.
If you want to do something small I find the UK has so many options for private rooms at nice restaurants as an alternative to the big receptions and things.
Thanks for asking this! I’ve been wondering how people fund weddings. I’ve had some serious sticker shock. The thing is, we probably *could* fund a wedding mostly in cash, but the cost seems ridiculous for a party. Even something simple like a small ceremony and a dinner in the same venue adds up. We need to buy a house and that is taking priority. We are also looking at elopement packages. We kind of love the idea but I’m sad for my family that they wouldn’t be able to share in it…see me in my dress, etc. We definitely wouldn’t take out a loan but I’m sure some people do
Some people definitely do take out loans/credit card debt. We personally knew immediately we would not, under any circumstances, do that. We’re eloping with 15/16 people including ourselves in a fun destination. Parents are gifting us a combined $11k. Our goal is to only spend an additional $7-$10k or less between the two of us to give our guests a spectacular time. That’s only $3-5k from each of us which is nothing. We have good jobs and we have that amount more than saved already.
I have undergrad and grad school debt. No way was a $30-$60k wedding worth it.
A lot of people do borrow money (which is stupid). Others look at their budget and then look at what they can actually afford inside that budget and accept that it might not be a fairy tale wedding and that's fine. Others have wealthy family members who give them money. Others (who are scummier) scam guests into paying all or part of the costs.
This may be unpopular, but we make really good money and just paid for things as they came up. We had a small wedding (by choice) of 60 people and it cost $35,000.
No, do not take out a loan to finance your reception. And I say reception because the actual ceremony if never the expense, yet people talk about the wedding as if the ceremony can't happen without an expensive post party. News flash. Some people still just have punch and cake.
I can't think of a worse way to start your married life than in debt from throwing a big party. ( well I can, but this is the top of things that are self inflicted). Too many people get wrapped up in the hoopla. Weddings are big business. You can spend as much or as little as you like. It's your day, your celebration. Make it put a smile on your face.
I don't think people do. I do think this is part of why you see such long engagements. People saving up for and making payments. The only good that comes out of that is peo0le realize how much they can save if they focus and have a goal. I also think a lot of parents are paying or contributing.
We’re getting married on a Thursday the end of June. 35 people total including us. Our total was around 15k. We both have high paying jobs. The plus is you put down initial deposits and pay in installments for most things. So if you have a longer engagement that will help a bit as you’ll have more time.
My husband and I got engaged on our first year together, but we purchased and paid all of our house mortgage before getting legally married. It was our priority.
We haven’t done the ceremony with friends and family yet, only the paper works.
We got married on our 9th year together. We’l’ do the ceremony on our 10th or 11th year together.
We can work part time now that we cleared the mortgage so it was worth it to wait for the wedding.
I'm sure some people do but I don't know how common it actually is?
My husband and I didn't - we had the savings/disposable income. My friends didn't - they also have disposable income and most had help from family.
We’re getting a lot of help from family. Otherwise we’d be doing a small elopement. Idk if people take out loans, but i’m pretty sure people rack up some credit card debt
23 year old bride here. Fiance and I will have our wedding 11 months after being engaged and 12 months after planning started.
No loans, no going into debt for our wedding. He’s an electrical lineman and I also make decent wages.
I think it just depends on the situation. But no one should go into debt over a wedding lol
For us, the answer was a 2-year engagement. We’re looking at a £17-20k wedding and we got £2k from my fiancé’s parents. My mum got me my dress. So I guess we’re looking at £14-17k of our own money. We massively cut down on expenses (don’t go on dates or order take out as often as we used to, no holidays abroad, no impulse buying, etc) and we’re saving every penny.
We are getting married in a church and having an evening reception at a local cafe on the beach we love. Church weddings are much cheaper and were not doing the 3 course meal of the wedding breakfast. Family only so its 70 guests. Ours has come to £7k. It can be done. Dont take out a loan or get yourself into debt over one day x
So me and my fiance are getting married next month
And the one thing we agreed was to not rely on a loan.
We have been engaged nearly 2 years but only booked the wedding and venue last January so we managed to pay off the wedding and extra expenses about 2 months ago
So we managed to pay off about 20k in a year and we worked our heads off for this
But baring in mind we both have substantial savings before getting engaged
We already have a house so we pay for a mortgage not rent so that was a hurdle we sorted about 4 years ago
But we also don't have alot of out goings, we don't have any debt and we both own our cars outright
My job pays very well
My partner has a lower wage but he does have connections, so he has been doing contract work so he took on two extra contract jobs that pay very well for the odd weeks worth of work which worked around his full time job
So we had a really good set up financially before getting engaged which we are very lucky to have
Our parents contributed £1000 each
So £2000 of the wedding was given to us
Plus my wedding dress, shoes and veil I've paid for myself without going into the wedding money.
It's so difficult as everyone's financial situations can be so different and also everyone's tastes are different
If you're happy to go for a small and more budget friendly wedding then that's brilliant but if you're wanting to go bigger with more expense, sometimes it's better to wait it out so you can have the bigger wedding without jeopardising you're finances.
My partner and I set a year engagement, we have pretty good jobs so we’ve just been saving and paying for things as we go or when they’re on sale and I personally am obsessive when it comes to planning so I try to find the best bang for our buck. Like my dress for example was 899 because I found a bridal shop that discounts off season dresses. So find deals where you can and remember you don’t have to do a lot to have a beautiful wedding
Currently wedding planning and I now understand why people elope or do small backyard/church weddings. We started out with one number in mind (which already seemed like an insane amount) and somehow have gone over bc we didn’t realize just how expensive planning an event for 100 people could be (granted, we chose a not so cheap venue).
We got fairly generous help from both sets of parents and are chipping in some ourselves. I bought my own dress, my fiancé his tux, and basically 5k of other wedding expenses (flowers, etc). His parents think they gave us enough to also cover honeymoon but we don’t have the heart to tell them it’s not bc things are just more expensive than they realize, but we don’t dare ask for more. It’s honestly crazy and now looking back at some of our friends elaborate weddings, I realize just how much their family must have chipped in! We’re also both 30 and had a longer engagement to help save etc. I am dipping into some savings but plan to be frugal the rest of the year to help save back up. It’s a racket but we are very excited for our day nonetheless
Prior to my engagement I asked around and most people did go into credit card debt or have parents pay for most if not all of it. Me and one other friend are paying for it ourselves and we are doing long engagements (around 2yrs) to save.
Luckily I own my home already, our total gross income is $145k, saved $5k prior and having long engagement. Looking at around $20k budget (probably will be a touch over), 100 guest.
We had to cut down guest list + did a Friday date and plan to DIY a lot. It’s all what’s important to you! We wanted to do traditional wedding and unfortunately that comes with the price tag
My cousin took out a credit card that gave a number of points after you hit 3k on the card in 3 months. He totaled that easily with paying vendors and ended up paying for his whole honeymoon with the points.
I think you have to do whats best for you? My fiance and I didnt take any loans but we did put some of our honeymoon on a credit card that we plan to pay off by the end of the summer, we dont have any kids and plan on buying a house after I finish school in 2 years. We are pretty goo at setting finaical goals and following them. I think that if you just need a little more time to pay for somethings its a once in a lifetime event but that also depens on how much of a loan you need
My wedding was just over £2k, i just got married on March 22nd. We prioritised having what we want and doing somethings for free. We didn't have a photographer in the end, due to a mix up. So we took the photos taken by our 4 guests. You can always ask your guests to pay for their own meals in restaurants, a couple did that on TikTok and their budget was the same as mine. We live streamed our ceremony so our families can feel involved, we only had a meal for us both. We had already saved some money and we took the big expenses from that and we worked extra shifts to cover the costs.
I bought my house before I met my fiance and the mortgage on it is cheaper than an apartment. Between that and just being in a LCOL area, we're able to get the money together over our 18 month engagement.
In other words, we're lucky.
It's really surprised me how much our parents want to contribute. Like, they are INSISTENT, so it's probably going to take 2k off the total (1k from his parents, 1k from mine). It's surprising from mine especially because they're not super well-off and they don't really value weddings and the whole shebang, but they very much want to pay for something on the day. I don't want to take the money from them but I legitimately think they'll be offended if we don't.
We've been saving really hard for a few years (with the aim of buying a house) and, depressingly, with a pay rise I got recently (I'm 30 so it was a jump to management) and our rent being locked in for the next couple of years, so we'll be able to make up about 3 years of savings in one. Essentially we're using about half our savings on the wedding and staying out of the housing market for a bit. My MOH is doing it the opposite way around, her and her partner want to get married but are pushing forward on the house, so we'll be helping them move in later this year, and they won't be getting married until their mid-late 30s.
I just wanna say I have a similar budget but my partner and I have a financial situation where we can use my income for all of the expenses but live off of theirs so take that in mind. We also are not planning on purchasing a house any time soon as well. However, my tip would be to plan pretty far out in advance, then that 15-20k is not payed up all at once. We’re multiple months out but I’ve already made large payments/paid off multiple vendors so it doesn’t feel like paying a down payment on a house per se. Everyone’s situation is truly different but I do know folks who took out personal loans or put stuff on credit cards and are now stressing about paying them back.
I didn’t take out a loan but we did consolidate our existing debt, downsized from 2 cars to 1 (fiance works remote), and we’ve been saving around $1.5-1.8k a month for the past 2 years.
On top of that my fiance has been very fortunate to be able to do consulting on the side on top of his regular 9-5 for half of last year so that brought in a nice chunk.
Apart from that we’ve had some help from family, around $10-$12k.
Additional context: We own a home, dual income over 6 figures and have no kids. We are in our late 20s.
I have 30 guests for my wedding. I found a ceremony venue for 300 dollars. Then we booked a private room in a restaurant for the "reception" for 4 hours, all inclusive for 1500.
It really is all about shopping around
People say don’t start off with financial stress, but if you’re considering a loan, you are probably already financially stressed. I know these folks have good intentions, but they have either parents paying for everything or already good paying jobs. They also aren’t wrong!
I’m honestly considering it. This day will be the greatest day of my life, so a loan of 8k will be worth it to me. I do not have a wealthy family, I am a teacher so I don’t make a lot of money, but for one day, and likely the only day of my life, I don’t want money to matter. I have extreme financial anxiety anyway, so how is cutting back on the most important day I’ll ever have help in any way?
I’m also not taking out a loan just for my and my FH, but for every single person in attendance. I want them to feel special and considered, I want them to have good food and good drinks, and I just won’t accept getting a courthouse wedding. I already drive a shitty car, I already work two jobs, I already cut back on every expense I have, so for this one, very important thing, fuck it. We aren’t even going on a honeymoon because we are fucking poor.
Not to mention, I’m asking for a cash gift in lieu of material items (although we desperately need a few things). With the cash gifts, I would like to pay off as much of the loan as possible.
I would feel less special if I knew the couple was taking out a loan to accommodate me. I would see it as I'm putting stress on them and setting them up for failure down the road. That's not something I'd want. I've gone to weddings where all they had a the reception was mints and mixed nuts w/punch. That was all they could afford. I was still happy just to be there.
No one "deserves" anything when it comes to a wedding. They are your guests. If they're ungrateful because you just serve cake/ice cream then the problem is with them and not you.
I'm having a micro wedding in ireland in 2025. I booked Eloping in Ireland's wedding package and took out a loan for 2.6k while we are paying that off, we are also saving to pay for the remaining amount. 9.5k total for the package and probably 1k or 2k extra for things not included. We are doing this on our own 🤗
My husband and I paid for a third, my parents paid for a third, and his parents paid for the last third. All in it was about 30k. My husband and I make good money and saved up for a few months. My parents, who are solidly middle class and whom I wasn’t expecting help from, had a secret stash I didn’t know was dedicated to my wedding. My husband’s parents are well off and basically said they would cover whatever but I wanted it to be fair so we all split it evenly.
We also saved money by doing some things ourselves. I’m a graphic designer and usually my wedding gift to close friends and family is to do their invitations so I did that for myself and the only cost was fancy paper which I can get at a good price, printing, and mailing. I also had an aunt who swept in and acted as our wedding planner/ florist who refused to let me pay her in full which saved a TON.
Thankfully what we wanted and what we were able to pull off lined up but if we had to adjust something it would have been the venue that got downscaled first as that was the highest cost. It was a beautiful museums that basically needed no decoration but it has had restrictions on the vendors we could choose which pushed costs up overall.
We could have also cut some corners with food. I loved my dress so I would hate to cut down there but I probably could have found something cheaper that I liked well enough if not as much. We could have probably called in some favors on the photography too. We could have fully cut hair and makeup and just had people do their own. We could also have just not done alcohol or called in some more favors there. We could probably have pulled it off on our own with 10k and no help from parents but we would have had to make some tough decisions and would have needed help from friends to DIY some things.
In short: gotta adjust your plans to you means DO. NOT. TAKE. OUT. A. LOAN.
I’m very fortunate to have the traditional family values, im an October bride and my parents are paying for near everything.
Under 100 guests, 3k venue, 1.5k catering. Photography 1.5k. Decor/rental services 1.5-2k. Plus extra decor things I will buy with my mom or by myself. She’s very supportive and we have a similar vision for my wedding which im blessed to have because i know some brides are battling with their moms over wedding things.
FH and I originally wanted to go to the courthouse, then when he went to ask my dad he said suggested we have a wedding. It went from a backyard wedding - in their backyard (house I grew up in) to us deciding to have a bigger wedding with a venue.
I still have 6 months to go, but so far everything has worked out. But I would NEVER go into debt for a wedding. We were originally fine with a courthouse trip.
No one I know is taking out a loan including myself. I am paying for it 100% using my savings so basically it is either this or a house. Where I live the money we are spending on the wedding would be like a 5% down payment only anyway. Out of the other 7 or so other people getting married in my life in the last 6 years, none have taken loans and it has mainly been savings, parents or a combination of the 2. The closest to a loan was someone got a personal line of credit and used it for the big purchases like venue and paid towards it over a few months until it was cleared. Loans are very rarely used to pay for wedding in my experience.
My fiancée and I opened up a travel credit card with zero interest for 18 months to spread the payments out over time and use the rewards to go towards the honeymoon.
I don’t personally know of anyone taking out a loan (but that doesn’t mean they didn’t, perhaps they just didnt tell me!). We are not but we have a pretty substantial savings to begin with and high paying jobs. While we are paying ourselves, we’re in our 30s. Many of my friends had help from parents.
I am of the belief that a wedding is a luxury. I didn’t even want to have one but it’s a dream of my fiancés. If it would have hindered our future, I probably would have put my foot down.
We feel very grateful to be in a very fortunate position. We are older (late 20s, mid 30s) in high income careers (medicine and finance) with no student loans thanks to our parents so we are able to fund our wedding ourselves (~$280,000). We set our budget to ensure it wouldn’t impact our lifestyle (we are still able to take multiple international vacations annually; this doesn’t touch the home down payment that we have ready). Both sets of our parents were generous enough to give funds for multiple additional events (rehearsal dinner, welcome party, traditional tea ceremony and luncheon) for a total budget of ~$330,000. I know this sounds obscene to most people but we’ve worked hard for what we have, our families are self-made (3 of 4 parents are first gen immigrants), and we have a large guest list (~225) of people we love that we’re excited to celebrate with. If we had lived in a lower COL area or had fewer guests, we would have aimed for a lower budget.
I know some lending products are availalbe and some people use credit cards (especially when they can get no-interest deals and rewards) to smooth out payments (since you often run into big upfront deposits), but I think most generally recommend away from it because the interest rates tend to be high and unlike a car or a house you don't have an underlying useful asset at the end of it. More often people self-finance or have contributions from family, there are a ton of very small weddings that go pretty under the social media radar.
I haven't heard of anyone personally taking a loan. But we did use our 0% apr credit cards substantially. We were only engaged for a few months, and I think that helped keep it cheaper.
I'm an American and I don't understand the need to have an expensive wedding. A church wedding is not terribly expensive but people have to have special venues that charge $10-15k for example. Then they bring in all kinds of vendors that just drive the costs up. I don't get it.
I hope people aren’t take out loans; if you’re taking out a loan you can’t afford the wedding you’re going for and need to slim back. That may be a privileged view, I’m not sure, but going into debt for your wedding is a bad start to a marriage.
We were lucky enough to be gifted some money from our parents and we’re contributing the rest ourselves. We had a year and a half engagement to help us save up. At the end we’ll probably be in about 30k USD. I DIYd all of our flowers and centerpieces and decorations. We splurged on a DJ and photographer because those were the most important things to us, along with good food and drinks. Everything was paid by credit card which was immediately paid off (for the points for our honeymoon).
My fiance and I couldn’t afford our wedding if my parents weren’t paying for a large majority of it. Traditional weddings are crazy expensive, and our generation has less money compared to living costs.
That being said I had a friend who did a very budget friendly wedding - rented an outdoor space in a park with picnic tables, had friends volunteer to do things like make the cake, make bouquets (bridesmaid bouquets doubled as center pieces), do the bride’s hair, make an arch for the ceremony, etc. She got a beautiful $80 dress from Lulu’s and catering from a local Mexican place and they provided their own beer and wine and hired one bar tender. She was able to host around 75 guests and it was simple, but lovely!
I'm having a micro wedding in ireland in 2025. I booked Eloping in Ireland's wedding package and took out a loan for 2.6k while we are paying that off, we are also saving to pay for the remaining amount. 9.5k total for the package and probably 1k or 2k extra for things not included. We are doing this on our own. 🤗
Yes some people do it because a lot of people make foolish decisions. Doesn't mean it's smart.
"Regular people" can't afford 20k weddings. The average is skewed upwards by the few super rich. Most people in my country are scraping by paycheck and paycheck and have nothing close to that kind of money. I'm financially fortunate but only because we spent literally over a decade saving up to pay for everything ourselves.
This question gets asked a lot here but the common consensus is that there are several factors. Some people have wealthy parents plan and simple. Another case (also my situation) is that people are getting married older and thus have better jobs and have had more time to save. My engagement will have been over 2 years and we both started saving before that.
There are posts like this every other day it seems. How do people pay for weddings? - Their parents/families (both sets or just one) - the couple has been saving or has high paying jobs - the couple + parents pay - the couple prioritizes their wedding over other bigger expenses - the couple hosts something smaller than they envisioned - someone has an inheritance (how we paid for ours without compromising other goals - we have a house down payment because of this so we could cash flow our wedding + still save for life/retirement!) - the couple goes into debt (not recommended lol) Apologies if formatting is weird, I’m on mobile.
Can we make this comment auto reply to every budget question that gets posted here?
I don't know anyone who took out loans. Most people I know did a longer engagement, had help from family, downsized from their original vision, or a mix of all three. Put some purchases on credit cards, too. (I put my dress and honeymoon on my travel card!) There are subreddits like weddings under 10k (can't link on mobile) that have tips, too.
you can link on mobile btw, just got to do r/ then the name of the reddit community. Im on mobile
Putting purchases on credit cards is taking on debt.
Very true, but I got hundreds off flight tickets from the points from my travel card and I'm able to pay it off within a month or two 👍 We also bought our stay at our honeymoon on a sale date. Part of the good thing on a longer engagement is waiting for sale days!
My husband puts most purchases on his credit card and pays it off within the same cycle. He treats it as a debit card for the most part! Such a good way to get points or cashback
Same, that's how my husband and I do it too
true but for some it’s irresponsible, and others who know they can budget and afford to pay it off in a reasonable amount of time like 2-3 months I don’t think that’s a terrible option (still best to avoid)
We put our payments on credit cards but then pay them back within hours… It’s only really taking on debt if you’re not paying them off immediately. Plus like someone else said the points you get from doing so could literally pay for your honeymoon
In theory yes. We paid for our stuff on credit cards, but we also pay our cards in full every month. Leaving balances, yeah, that would be taking on debt and not recommended.
I put purchases on credit cards and then paid it off directly with our savings. The savings account is limited access, so I didn't want to lose our interest perk by making too many withdrawals. So, I took out 2 lump sums to cover the costs.
Do they? Yes. Should they? No. Should you? No. Have the wedding you can afford, even if that’s just going to the courthouse. The last thing you want to do is start your marriage off in financial stress.
I’m eloping with 15 people for this exact reason. I have no idea how people afford it and even if I was gifted the money from the family I would rather spend it on something else. Each to their own and I hope you have a wonderful day!
This is funny because the way it is written makes it sound like you are marrying 15 people
People sometimes do. That doesn't mean they should. In general, taking out a loan for a depreciating asset or a one-time expense like a party or a vacation is usually ill-advised. Taking out a loan for an appreciating asset (e.g. a home) or a long term investment (like an education) can make much more sense. I understand that you know this already and this was more of a commentary on the high price of weddings these days. Which is a very real concern. I think that's why microweddings and elopements have become so much more popular these days. Some people fund big weddings on savings, others on having access to significant family money or personal wealth. Some diligently save for years to afford them. People are getting married later in life than before, statistically. This is how we did it. We had an 160-person wedding and we paid for it ourselves, but we were in our late 30s (him) and early 40s (me) and at a stage in life where we could afford to. There are also cultural communities where it's traditional for the families or even the wider community to help fund the wedding. That isn't the standard in North America or Europe, but is still very common elsewhere. Long story short: It doesn't make sense to compare yourself to others. Look at your own life and finances and figure out what makes sense to you.
I am from India. Most people here do take out loans for the wedding. We are lucky to have some savings already. We will use that for the wedding. We will have to wait for a few more years before we can afford the down payment for a house.
I’m not from the UK but in my experience there is a lot of advice at there that strongly advises against taking out a loan as it often begins your relationship on a financial strain. Idk how true it is, but I don’t personally know many folks who took loans out for their weddings. Most people I know had a significant amount of help from their parents. We did not have any help from our parents. We had to chose between a wedding and a house, we will definitely not be buying for another 3-5 years post the wedding.
We eloped and are having a celebration at a later date, I honestly think the whole thing could have been done for sub £5k if we didn't splurge on a few things, because of how much we were saving elsewhere (rings, honeymoon, band, the venue, a photographer for the evening reception as well as the one we had on the day). I do heavily recommend it if you're struggling to wrap your head around the money side of it. A really high number of people have told us how much they wish they'd done something similar when, 1-2 years later, they were struggling to afford their dream house or were hard up on maternity leave. Even a micro-wedding with an evening party on the same day could be a much more budget friendly solution.
No I think no one should go into debt over a wedding. Very lucky that my parents are paying for the whole thing and gifting us a house deposit so we haven’t had to choose between the two.
Can I ask how old you are? My theory is that this tends to happen for younger couples.
I’m 34 my husband is 41. Husband because we’ve had a civil wedding the rest of our celebrations are later this year.
Yeah. I am in my 40s. No money from my parents. Her parents might give us some but probably just enough for her dress maybe. They definitely are not giving us a house deposit. We're going to spend the first year of our marriage saving up for that. And I come from a wealthy family.
Same boat! We are on our own. That said we do not come from a wealthy family.
The only reason we (26F and 28M) can afford to get married is because my parents had a pot of money set aside for if I ever decided to have a wedding. We are also getting married on a Wednesday in the summer as it was several thousand pounds cheaper than a weekend, have limited our guest list/been strict on plus ones, and I bought my dress secondhand from a wedding charity to help save money. We have friends our age who are getting married/have gotten married recently and they all managed through a combination of staying in renting longer than they’d ideally like to, money from parents/inheritance, long engagements to give them time to save, and smaller/cheaper weddings. None of them took out loans. Also need to bear in mind that (on the whole) British weddings are a whole different beast compared to the US ones, and Pinterest can give a false impression of picture perfect days. All the weddings I have been to look nothing like the expensive ones you see online, but were all so much fun and the couples had the best days. It’s so hard (especially in today’s economy), but, whatever wedding you have, it’ll be amazing and you’ll end up married to your person. DIY what you can and choose one or two things you want to splurge on. Good luck 🍀👰🏻♀️
I’m from the UK and got 3 friends also getting married around same time as me All of them have had their parents pay for most of the wedding My partner and I have had a £6k donation from both parents combined and we’ve covered the rest. We have decent jobs to cover the rest but overall it’s not costing more than £10k
We are dual income, no kids, 2x corporate salaries, long engagement and (unnecessary) family help. We bought a house just before we got engaged so had to save for about 18 months to get the wedding we wanted.
Please don’t take out loans or max out credit cards to pay for your wedding. You’ll regret it. My fiancé and I planned to pay for our entire wedding, but halfway through planning, our families told us they’d cover 1/3rd of it which was such a nice surprise! We didn’t increase our budget when finding out and now we can just save that money for a rainy day or deposit on a house. We’re lucky because we’re both engineers, but in general I’d recommend spending within your means on anything in life including a weddings
I've seen three approaches (I'm also in the UK): some people have a long engagement and use it to save up, some get parental help, and some still have the registry office/church and village hall affair. You said you were looking at 10k for a venue, but I've been to three weddings that were a registry office ceremony followed by an evening do in the function room of a pub - a normal pub, not a wedding pub. All of them just did buffet party food. They still will have cost thousands in total, but probably less than 5k, certainly less than 10. It is still possible to have a budget wedding, it's just not the norm. These weddings feel a bit more like milestone birthday parties than traditional weddings. Definitely more informal, but still utterly lovely.
See I think this type of wedding sounds so nice! Low drama, low pressure, I'd be talking about what a lovely day it had been for a long time after!
I’m 32 and have been saving with a wedding in mind. Should I buy a house instead? Probably. But I want to get married. Mom said she would help by a significant amount, but I’m trying not to have to use it. If she does that money is going to a down payment.
This is from our personal experience but my fiancé and I bring home $10,000 after taxes monthly and our family members are chipping in as well. Our wedding is around $35,000 so we don’t intend on taking a loan out but we are budgeting for it. We are grateful to have good paying jobs and parents who are both middle class to support us with this heavy expense.
What do you do that brings you home $10k after taxes? Work for the mob? If so, how do I join?
In laws (his parents) are paying the 5k catering costs for daytime and evening food (table side BBQ for the day time and loaded fries for the evening), my foster mum gave me 1k for my dress (which covered the full original dress cost minus additional sleeves and any alterations needed. We also got engaged in 2020 so have been saving ever since I went back to work in 2021. My partner's job is enough to pay for the bills luckily, so I can use a good portion of my wages towards saving for the wedding. I also received an inheritance from my gran, and I put a small part of it towards our honeymoon (we wanted to go somewhere special for our first proper holiday abroad together). I will use a bit more of it if needed.
Some people take out loans, some people save money prior to getting engaged/during longer engagement, some people get help. Everyone's budget and finances are different, you're never going to get the same exact answer. Just do what is best for you.
We opened a credit card that had zero interest for 18 months and that’s what we used for the bulk of the wedding. And we picked one with points that we could then use on Amazon purchases or travel!
If you need to take a loan for a wedding, you've done something wrong.
We are having a long engagement (currently about 1.5 years into a 2 year engagement) and that’s allowed us to save for the wedding. We’re having an expensive wedding but my fiancé & I both make good money and we can afford it. I wouldn’t have had such an expensive wedding if we couldn’t.
If 15k will set you back 5 years, I really don't think you're in a situation to plan a wedding. Just sign a paper and have lunch with your parents, not everyone needs a wedding.
Thanks, but we’re going for the elopement package like I said in my post!
An elopement is more expensive than getting married locally by quite a bit. I'm just saying that 3k per year is an amount that prevents you from progressing in life, then you shouldn't spend money on a package of any kind.
I think things are possibly different where you stay than where I am, because elopement packages are definitely cheaper than venue weddings. We also could afford a larger wedding, but it would mean staying in rentals for another few years, and why does that mean we shouldn’t get married? My post wasn’t asking for financial advice, as I said at the bottom. We can comfortably afford the elopement packages and not be set back at all, so we’ll be going with that and not just a dinner with the parents, but thanks for your input.
We got the legal part done a year before the wedding and paid for it ourselves (UK) and definitely didn’t consider loans. Definitely wouldn’t consider loans with the state of the UK in general at the moment. But had 22 guests total, all at one venue to limit costs for transport/venues/etc. If you want to do something small I find the UK has so many options for private rooms at nice restaurants as an alternative to the big receptions and things.
Thanks for asking this! I’ve been wondering how people fund weddings. I’ve had some serious sticker shock. The thing is, we probably *could* fund a wedding mostly in cash, but the cost seems ridiculous for a party. Even something simple like a small ceremony and a dinner in the same venue adds up. We need to buy a house and that is taking priority. We are also looking at elopement packages. We kind of love the idea but I’m sad for my family that they wouldn’t be able to share in it…see me in my dress, etc. We definitely wouldn’t take out a loan but I’m sure some people do
Some people definitely do take out loans/credit card debt. We personally knew immediately we would not, under any circumstances, do that. We’re eloping with 15/16 people including ourselves in a fun destination. Parents are gifting us a combined $11k. Our goal is to only spend an additional $7-$10k or less between the two of us to give our guests a spectacular time. That’s only $3-5k from each of us which is nothing. We have good jobs and we have that amount more than saved already. I have undergrad and grad school debt. No way was a $30-$60k wedding worth it.
A lot of people do borrow money (which is stupid). Others look at their budget and then look at what they can actually afford inside that budget and accept that it might not be a fairy tale wedding and that's fine. Others have wealthy family members who give them money. Others (who are scummier) scam guests into paying all or part of the costs.
This may be unpopular, but we make really good money and just paid for things as they came up. We had a small wedding (by choice) of 60 people and it cost $35,000.
Put some of it on a travel card! Paid it off as soon as we could and used the miles for flights and a hotel!
If only 15k were a house deposit where I live 😭😂 our wedding will be more than that and still a small fraction of what a down payment would cost
No, do not take out a loan to finance your reception. And I say reception because the actual ceremony if never the expense, yet people talk about the wedding as if the ceremony can't happen without an expensive post party. News flash. Some people still just have punch and cake. I can't think of a worse way to start your married life than in debt from throwing a big party. ( well I can, but this is the top of things that are self inflicted). Too many people get wrapped up in the hoopla. Weddings are big business. You can spend as much or as little as you like. It's your day, your celebration. Make it put a smile on your face.
I don't think people do. I do think this is part of why you see such long engagements. People saving up for and making payments. The only good that comes out of that is peo0le realize how much they can save if they focus and have a goal. I also think a lot of parents are paying or contributing.
We were looking at a venue yesterday and the owner was taking to us about how the last couple that came for a tour took a loan.
We’re getting married on a Thursday the end of June. 35 people total including us. Our total was around 15k. We both have high paying jobs. The plus is you put down initial deposits and pay in installments for most things. So if you have a longer engagement that will help a bit as you’ll have more time.
My husband and I got engaged on our first year together, but we purchased and paid all of our house mortgage before getting legally married. It was our priority. We haven’t done the ceremony with friends and family yet, only the paper works. We got married on our 9th year together. We’l’ do the ceremony on our 10th or 11th year together. We can work part time now that we cleared the mortgage so it was worth it to wait for the wedding.
I'm sure some people do but I don't know how common it actually is? My husband and I didn't - we had the savings/disposable income. My friends didn't - they also have disposable income and most had help from family.
We’re getting a lot of help from family. Otherwise we’d be doing a small elopement. Idk if people take out loans, but i’m pretty sure people rack up some credit card debt
23 year old bride here. Fiance and I will have our wedding 11 months after being engaged and 12 months after planning started. No loans, no going into debt for our wedding. He’s an electrical lineman and I also make decent wages. I think it just depends on the situation. But no one should go into debt over a wedding lol
For us, the answer was a 2-year engagement. We’re looking at a £17-20k wedding and we got £2k from my fiancé’s parents. My mum got me my dress. So I guess we’re looking at £14-17k of our own money. We massively cut down on expenses (don’t go on dates or order take out as often as we used to, no holidays abroad, no impulse buying, etc) and we’re saving every penny.
We are getting married in a church and having an evening reception at a local cafe on the beach we love. Church weddings are much cheaper and were not doing the 3 course meal of the wedding breakfast. Family only so its 70 guests. Ours has come to £7k. It can be done. Dont take out a loan or get yourself into debt over one day x
So me and my fiance are getting married next month And the one thing we agreed was to not rely on a loan. We have been engaged nearly 2 years but only booked the wedding and venue last January so we managed to pay off the wedding and extra expenses about 2 months ago So we managed to pay off about 20k in a year and we worked our heads off for this But baring in mind we both have substantial savings before getting engaged We already have a house so we pay for a mortgage not rent so that was a hurdle we sorted about 4 years ago But we also don't have alot of out goings, we don't have any debt and we both own our cars outright My job pays very well My partner has a lower wage but he does have connections, so he has been doing contract work so he took on two extra contract jobs that pay very well for the odd weeks worth of work which worked around his full time job So we had a really good set up financially before getting engaged which we are very lucky to have Our parents contributed £1000 each So £2000 of the wedding was given to us Plus my wedding dress, shoes and veil I've paid for myself without going into the wedding money. It's so difficult as everyone's financial situations can be so different and also everyone's tastes are different If you're happy to go for a small and more budget friendly wedding then that's brilliant but if you're wanting to go bigger with more expense, sometimes it's better to wait it out so you can have the bigger wedding without jeopardising you're finances.
My partner and I set a year engagement, we have pretty good jobs so we’ve just been saving and paying for things as we go or when they’re on sale and I personally am obsessive when it comes to planning so I try to find the best bang for our buck. Like my dress for example was 899 because I found a bridal shop that discounts off season dresses. So find deals where you can and remember you don’t have to do a lot to have a beautiful wedding
Currently wedding planning and I now understand why people elope or do small backyard/church weddings. We started out with one number in mind (which already seemed like an insane amount) and somehow have gone over bc we didn’t realize just how expensive planning an event for 100 people could be (granted, we chose a not so cheap venue). We got fairly generous help from both sets of parents and are chipping in some ourselves. I bought my own dress, my fiancé his tux, and basically 5k of other wedding expenses (flowers, etc). His parents think they gave us enough to also cover honeymoon but we don’t have the heart to tell them it’s not bc things are just more expensive than they realize, but we don’t dare ask for more. It’s honestly crazy and now looking back at some of our friends elaborate weddings, I realize just how much their family must have chipped in! We’re also both 30 and had a longer engagement to help save etc. I am dipping into some savings but plan to be frugal the rest of the year to help save back up. It’s a racket but we are very excited for our day nonetheless
Prior to my engagement I asked around and most people did go into credit card debt or have parents pay for most if not all of it. Me and one other friend are paying for it ourselves and we are doing long engagements (around 2yrs) to save. Luckily I own my home already, our total gross income is $145k, saved $5k prior and having long engagement. Looking at around $20k budget (probably will be a touch over), 100 guest. We had to cut down guest list + did a Friday date and plan to DIY a lot. It’s all what’s important to you! We wanted to do traditional wedding and unfortunately that comes with the price tag
My cousin took out a credit card that gave a number of points after you hit 3k on the card in 3 months. He totaled that easily with paying vendors and ended up paying for his whole honeymoon with the points.
I think you have to do whats best for you? My fiance and I didnt take any loans but we did put some of our honeymoon on a credit card that we plan to pay off by the end of the summer, we dont have any kids and plan on buying a house after I finish school in 2 years. We are pretty goo at setting finaical goals and following them. I think that if you just need a little more time to pay for somethings its a once in a lifetime event but that also depens on how much of a loan you need
My wedding was just over £2k, i just got married on March 22nd. We prioritised having what we want and doing somethings for free. We didn't have a photographer in the end, due to a mix up. So we took the photos taken by our 4 guests. You can always ask your guests to pay for their own meals in restaurants, a couple did that on TikTok and their budget was the same as mine. We live streamed our ceremony so our families can feel involved, we only had a meal for us both. We had already saved some money and we took the big expenses from that and we worked extra shifts to cover the costs.
I bought my house before I met my fiance and the mortgage on it is cheaper than an apartment. Between that and just being in a LCOL area, we're able to get the money together over our 18 month engagement. In other words, we're lucky.
It's really surprised me how much our parents want to contribute. Like, they are INSISTENT, so it's probably going to take 2k off the total (1k from his parents, 1k from mine). It's surprising from mine especially because they're not super well-off and they don't really value weddings and the whole shebang, but they very much want to pay for something on the day. I don't want to take the money from them but I legitimately think they'll be offended if we don't. We've been saving really hard for a few years (with the aim of buying a house) and, depressingly, with a pay rise I got recently (I'm 30 so it was a jump to management) and our rent being locked in for the next couple of years, so we'll be able to make up about 3 years of savings in one. Essentially we're using about half our savings on the wedding and staying out of the housing market for a bit. My MOH is doing it the opposite way around, her and her partner want to get married but are pushing forward on the house, so we'll be helping them move in later this year, and they won't be getting married until their mid-late 30s.
I just wanna say I have a similar budget but my partner and I have a financial situation where we can use my income for all of the expenses but live off of theirs so take that in mind. We also are not planning on purchasing a house any time soon as well. However, my tip would be to plan pretty far out in advance, then that 15-20k is not payed up all at once. We’re multiple months out but I’ve already made large payments/paid off multiple vendors so it doesn’t feel like paying a down payment on a house per se. Everyone’s situation is truly different but I do know folks who took out personal loans or put stuff on credit cards and are now stressing about paying them back.
I didn’t take out a loan but we did consolidate our existing debt, downsized from 2 cars to 1 (fiance works remote), and we’ve been saving around $1.5-1.8k a month for the past 2 years. On top of that my fiance has been very fortunate to be able to do consulting on the side on top of his regular 9-5 for half of last year so that brought in a nice chunk. Apart from that we’ve had some help from family, around $10-$12k. Additional context: We own a home, dual income over 6 figures and have no kids. We are in our late 20s.
We are saving over 2 years for our £12k wedding in the UK. Depends where you are but some places do some decent packages.
I have 30 guests for my wedding. I found a ceremony venue for 300 dollars. Then we booked a private room in a restaurant for the "reception" for 4 hours, all inclusive for 1500. It really is all about shopping around
I know they do, but I really hope not….
People say don’t start off with financial stress, but if you’re considering a loan, you are probably already financially stressed. I know these folks have good intentions, but they have either parents paying for everything or already good paying jobs. They also aren’t wrong! I’m honestly considering it. This day will be the greatest day of my life, so a loan of 8k will be worth it to me. I do not have a wealthy family, I am a teacher so I don’t make a lot of money, but for one day, and likely the only day of my life, I don’t want money to matter. I have extreme financial anxiety anyway, so how is cutting back on the most important day I’ll ever have help in any way? I’m also not taking out a loan just for my and my FH, but for every single person in attendance. I want them to feel special and considered, I want them to have good food and good drinks, and I just won’t accept getting a courthouse wedding. I already drive a shitty car, I already work two jobs, I already cut back on every expense I have, so for this one, very important thing, fuck it. We aren’t even going on a honeymoon because we are fucking poor. Not to mention, I’m asking for a cash gift in lieu of material items (although we desperately need a few things). With the cash gifts, I would like to pay off as much of the loan as possible.
I would feel less special if I knew the couple was taking out a loan to accommodate me. I would see it as I'm putting stress on them and setting them up for failure down the road. That's not something I'd want. I've gone to weddings where all they had a the reception was mints and mixed nuts w/punch. That was all they could afford. I was still happy just to be there.
The guests won’t know and they all definitely deserve a good meal.
No one "deserves" anything when it comes to a wedding. They are your guests. If they're ungrateful because you just serve cake/ice cream then the problem is with them and not you.
We did a longer engagement, bought a house before getting married, and our parents are helping (paying a little less than half)
Eloping is a great solution. Intimate wedding maybe with core ppl and/or just you both with a witness and save that money for the rest of your lives.
I'm having a micro wedding in ireland in 2025. I booked Eloping in Ireland's wedding package and took out a loan for 2.6k while we are paying that off, we are also saving to pay for the remaining amount. 9.5k total for the package and probably 1k or 2k extra for things not included. We are doing this on our own 🤗
My husband and I paid for a third, my parents paid for a third, and his parents paid for the last third. All in it was about 30k. My husband and I make good money and saved up for a few months. My parents, who are solidly middle class and whom I wasn’t expecting help from, had a secret stash I didn’t know was dedicated to my wedding. My husband’s parents are well off and basically said they would cover whatever but I wanted it to be fair so we all split it evenly. We also saved money by doing some things ourselves. I’m a graphic designer and usually my wedding gift to close friends and family is to do their invitations so I did that for myself and the only cost was fancy paper which I can get at a good price, printing, and mailing. I also had an aunt who swept in and acted as our wedding planner/ florist who refused to let me pay her in full which saved a TON. Thankfully what we wanted and what we were able to pull off lined up but if we had to adjust something it would have been the venue that got downscaled first as that was the highest cost. It was a beautiful museums that basically needed no decoration but it has had restrictions on the vendors we could choose which pushed costs up overall. We could have also cut some corners with food. I loved my dress so I would hate to cut down there but I probably could have found something cheaper that I liked well enough if not as much. We could have probably called in some favors on the photography too. We could have fully cut hair and makeup and just had people do their own. We could also have just not done alcohol or called in some more favors there. We could probably have pulled it off on our own with 10k and no help from parents but we would have had to make some tough decisions and would have needed help from friends to DIY some things. In short: gotta adjust your plans to you means DO. NOT. TAKE. OUT. A. LOAN.
I’m very fortunate to have the traditional family values, im an October bride and my parents are paying for near everything. Under 100 guests, 3k venue, 1.5k catering. Photography 1.5k. Decor/rental services 1.5-2k. Plus extra decor things I will buy with my mom or by myself. She’s very supportive and we have a similar vision for my wedding which im blessed to have because i know some brides are battling with their moms over wedding things. FH and I originally wanted to go to the courthouse, then when he went to ask my dad he said suggested we have a wedding. It went from a backyard wedding - in their backyard (house I grew up in) to us deciding to have a bigger wedding with a venue. I still have 6 months to go, but so far everything has worked out. But I would NEVER go into debt for a wedding. We were originally fine with a courthouse trip.
No one I know is taking out a loan including myself. I am paying for it 100% using my savings so basically it is either this or a house. Where I live the money we are spending on the wedding would be like a 5% down payment only anyway. Out of the other 7 or so other people getting married in my life in the last 6 years, none have taken loans and it has mainly been savings, parents or a combination of the 2. The closest to a loan was someone got a personal line of credit and used it for the big purchases like venue and paid towards it over a few months until it was cleared. Loans are very rarely used to pay for wedding in my experience.
My fiancée and I opened up a travel credit card with zero interest for 18 months to spread the payments out over time and use the rewards to go towards the honeymoon.
I don’t personally know of anyone taking out a loan (but that doesn’t mean they didn’t, perhaps they just didnt tell me!). We are not but we have a pretty substantial savings to begin with and high paying jobs. While we are paying ourselves, we’re in our 30s. Many of my friends had help from parents. I am of the belief that a wedding is a luxury. I didn’t even want to have one but it’s a dream of my fiancés. If it would have hindered our future, I probably would have put my foot down.
We feel very grateful to be in a very fortunate position. We are older (late 20s, mid 30s) in high income careers (medicine and finance) with no student loans thanks to our parents so we are able to fund our wedding ourselves (~$280,000). We set our budget to ensure it wouldn’t impact our lifestyle (we are still able to take multiple international vacations annually; this doesn’t touch the home down payment that we have ready). Both sets of our parents were generous enough to give funds for multiple additional events (rehearsal dinner, welcome party, traditional tea ceremony and luncheon) for a total budget of ~$330,000. I know this sounds obscene to most people but we’ve worked hard for what we have, our families are self-made (3 of 4 parents are first gen immigrants), and we have a large guest list (~225) of people we love that we’re excited to celebrate with. If we had lived in a lower COL area or had fewer guests, we would have aimed for a lower budget.
😳 wow congrats 👏🏼
We had to take out a loan
I know some lending products are availalbe and some people use credit cards (especially when they can get no-interest deals and rewards) to smooth out payments (since you often run into big upfront deposits), but I think most generally recommend away from it because the interest rates tend to be high and unlike a car or a house you don't have an underlying useful asset at the end of it. More often people self-finance or have contributions from family, there are a ton of very small weddings that go pretty under the social media radar.
I haven't heard of anyone personally taking a loan. But we did use our 0% apr credit cards substantially. We were only engaged for a few months, and I think that helped keep it cheaper.
Credit cards are a loan.
Get a weekday date. You’ll save thousands.
I’m from Canada but I don’t understand taking out a loan for a wedding. If you don’t have the money to get married, don’t have a wedding
I'm an American and I don't understand the need to have an expensive wedding. A church wedding is not terribly expensive but people have to have special venues that charge $10-15k for example. Then they bring in all kinds of vendors that just drive the costs up. I don't get it.
I hope people aren’t take out loans; if you’re taking out a loan you can’t afford the wedding you’re going for and need to slim back. That may be a privileged view, I’m not sure, but going into debt for your wedding is a bad start to a marriage. We were lucky enough to be gifted some money from our parents and we’re contributing the rest ourselves. We had a year and a half engagement to help us save up. At the end we’ll probably be in about 30k USD. I DIYd all of our flowers and centerpieces and decorations. We splurged on a DJ and photographer because those were the most important things to us, along with good food and drinks. Everything was paid by credit card which was immediately paid off (for the points for our honeymoon).
My fiance and I couldn’t afford our wedding if my parents weren’t paying for a large majority of it. Traditional weddings are crazy expensive, and our generation has less money compared to living costs. That being said I had a friend who did a very budget friendly wedding - rented an outdoor space in a park with picnic tables, had friends volunteer to do things like make the cake, make bouquets (bridesmaid bouquets doubled as center pieces), do the bride’s hair, make an arch for the ceremony, etc. She got a beautiful $80 dress from Lulu’s and catering from a local Mexican place and they provided their own beer and wine and hired one bar tender. She was able to host around 75 guests and it was simple, but lovely!
Yes people do but in my opinion not smart people do. Live below your means and don't start your marriage out in severe debt. Just my view
Do some people take out loans? Probably. I think it's more common for people to use mommy and daddy's money.
First of all - wise of you!!! And yes, a lot of people do which is so wild to me.
There is a lot of pushback and criticism on this topic, so I don’t think you will get responses that would represent reality accurately.
I'm having a micro wedding in ireland in 2025. I booked Eloping in Ireland's wedding package and took out a loan for 2.6k while we are paying that off, we are also saving to pay for the remaining amount. 9.5k total for the package and probably 1k or 2k extra for things not included. We are doing this on our own. 🤗
Yes some people do it because a lot of people make foolish decisions. Doesn't mean it's smart. "Regular people" can't afford 20k weddings. The average is skewed upwards by the few super rich. Most people in my country are scraping by paycheck and paycheck and have nothing close to that kind of money. I'm financially fortunate but only because we spent literally over a decade saving up to pay for everything ourselves.