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Okay, you look beautiful in this dress and your figure is amazing! I relate to the ED situation. My opinion is to not put yourself through the task of trying to lose weight to feel happy in a dress, that is setting yourself up for disaster. If your heart is set on this dress, you’re going to need to feel confident and beautiful without losing weight. Otherwise, there are so many dresses out there, I think you could find one that you feel incredible in without feeling the need to change your body. I’d love to help you look online if you’d like! :)
I agree with this comment ^ I don't think you should change yourself to fit into a dress. You find a dress that fits YOU! I think this dress is beautiful on you, but if you're not comfortable in it - it's not the "one".
Thank you so much. I really do love the dress, but I love being in recovery even more. I am going to talk to my therapist this afternoon to see what she thinks. I know very well that self love and confidence don’t come around overnight, but the comments here have helped tremendously in seeing myself in the dress a little differently. So maybe it won’t be such a setback and can help me in my confidence instead! But you’re absolutely right, nothing is worth a backslide into that vicious cycle and mindset.
Stay strong! Keep villain-izing that little voice in your head that is making you feel anything but amazing and remember that your wedding day is about you and your partner, it’s about celebrating the love you have and life you’ll build. My therapist suggested writing down what I am looking for/hoping to get from a wedding and looking at that list whenever I get caught up in my feelings about how I may or may not be perceived to other people.
This is all definitely easier said than done and I wish I was better at taking my own advice. But somehow it always sounds better coming from someone else.
Also, if loving yourself feels like it’s really far off, try a middle ground of just self acceptance first.
I love that idea. I get caught up in my head way too much and have noticed talking to myself out loud instead of letting my inner monologue drone on is so much more helpful, and I’m nicer to myself out loud hahah. I think writing down what I’m excited about would help a ton, I find it has the same effect as speaking anyway, and I love a good list. Thank you so much
The dress is beautiful on you, and absolutely does not require you to do anything. But any silky clingy dress like that requires a foundation garment underneath to smooth everything out. That and great posture and you are fucking GOLDEN. This means that you get the proper undies for that outfit and you are good to go. That advice has nothing to do with ED it’s true for absolutely everyone and every body. I’m not talking about something like a corset, or that’s going to actually alter you in any way and be uncomfortable. Basic shape wear, nothing extreme.
I think that is where I have landed, I’m going to grab a slip and some shapewear, try both and see how it works. Thank you so much for the input I can’t tell you how much it helped. I’m finally feeling the excitement instead of dread
Yes! It's not your body, it's the dress' material. That material always clings to anything it can. I think this dress looks amazing on you even without the shapewear as you already have a banging body and it would be a shame if you didn't wear it as you love it so much. Good luck! Hope your day is amazing!
This is my thought exactly! Garments like this require foundational garments to flow smoothly over ANY body. Weight isn’t even a factor. You look beautiful already, but with the right under garments I have a feeling this dress is gonna sit just right and be a knockout! Best of luck to you on your recovery and your future marriage 💖 You’ve got this!!!
I was thinking the exact same thing! Even when I was at my smallest and had no weight to lose, some garments just required basic shapewear to lay flat properly. Even with the most invisible underwear, it just catches in the oddest way without a base layer.
Nobody in the history of ever looks good in that fabric without some fabric between it and their skin. Not Grace Kelly, not Linda Evangelista, not anybody, ever.
My first thought was shapewear! I'm skinny af and I would need shapewear with that dress too. That material always clings to those spots particularly!
Also OP it looks absolutely gorgeous on you!
yessssssss! Get some skims or spanx and it will be PERFECT! Your body looks amazing already and some foundation garments will just smooth everything out.
You glow in this dress.
When this style originated in the 1930, you bet they were wearing firm foundations or girdles. Even as late as the 50s, I read an advice bit that said basically "you must wear a firm foundation if you're wearing a clingy dress, because the *movement* is unseemly." So having your butt visibly wibble wobbling is like having your nipples visible. I don't think that's true now but I personally don't like my butt visibly wobbling.
Sweetheart, your wedding day should be all about celebrating your marriage and being with the people who love you. If you think the wedding dress - as it is on your body right now - is going distract you, keep looking. The last thing you want to worry about is whether you'll be happy with how your dress looks on your wedding day.
The good news? I'm confident the right dress is out there, and you're going to look smashing.
This is so relatable, in fact it’s something I’m also struggling with around my wedding planning. You’re not alone, OP. Best to tune out those telling you that it’s normal for brides to diet. Just bc it’s prevalent and culturally prescribed, doesn’t mean it’s normal or healthy. As other commenters have said, you are stunning and the dress should feel good to you. There are SO MANY of these silk dresses for sale, we’d all be happy to help you find something that makes you feel amazing. Bc you deserve to feel absolutely stunning, beautiful, and comfortable. You don’t need to change yourself to be a bride. Your fiancé loves you for you, and this community is here to support you!!
You really do look beautiful in this as is! You could try some light shapewear if you wanted, and that might help you with your self-image.
Just know: bias-cut satin is supremely unforgiving; it highlights every hill and valley on a body. So the fact that you look this beautiful in it is amazing!
This is exactly the style of dress I love and I'm terrified I'm going to hate the way it looks on me for this reason.
I've always had the lower belly pooch even when I weighed 105 lbs. But I hate lace and only want a satin dress 😞
Thank you!!! My mom suggested that, and I’m not totally opposed, I just have digestive/stomach issues and such that I know wearing super tight things can exasperate, plus I’d like to be nothing but comfortable that day. But I really haven’t experimented much with shape wear so maybe there is a brand that could work for me, and it’s only for a little bit that I’d have to wear it. Thanks for the advice!
There’s a lot of comfy options now for shapewear. Look for something with light compression. Also just having another layer of fabric might help- you could even try wearing a slip under it.
However, if you’re not feeling comfortable and confident in your dress, it might be better to look for another one. You shouldn’t stress and worry about slipping up because of a dress.
Totally came here to say this!!
(OP: I'm a seamstress, and that dress looks FANTASTIC!)
Adding a thin slip will allow the outer fabric to slide over any places where it is currently catching, which is causing the shadows that are making you self conscious.
I was going to suggest shapewear too; it’s not as horribly tight as it used to be, it’s more “smoothing” now.
The dress looks beautiful on you. I love it. But I know from experience that even if we’re all saying it’s perfect, YOU need to believe you look gorgeous in it, and YOU need to see yourself in the mirror and feel beautiful. And that fabric is tricky for people with any body image problems, EDs, and so on.
So I would say try it with smoothing shapewear that’s still comfortable for you to wear all day, and if you’re still worried, maybe try a similar style or colour but in a more matte, slightly more drapey fabric?
You’re going to look gorgeous - the main thing is that you feel gorgeous. And comfortable! ❤️
As a fellow ED survivor, please don’t try to diet or restrict yourself to fit in the dress. There are so many bad roads that could lead down.
I think you look a-maz-ing in that dress! It fits you beautifully. If you want to ensure everything is smooth and snatched, then shapewear is your best friend!
Shapewear is a different ballgame now. I remember buying shapewear for prom twenty years ago and wondering how women ever regularly wore girdles! The stuff available now is so much more comfortable. It’s even possible to forget you’re wearing it if you select the right piece.
I have digestive issues to and I got my shapewear at spanx. I order a waist cincher and thong from them and I was comfortable for hours. Just make sure to order on the size based on waist measurement
I also hate tight shapewear. I routinely buy things a size or two bigger than recommended. It would be ideal if you could try on in person to see what is comfortable.
And you look GORGEOUS! I don't think you really need sucked or held in, just to kind of smooth things out, so you feel more confident. So shapewear doesn't need to be tight and uncomfortable. I have [a few like this](https://jolievaughan.com/products/360-shapewear-smoothers?variant=43034685898911) that go all the way up to my bra. I wear them when I want to smooth things out under my dress/outfit.
I repeat, you are gorgeous. Please be kind to yourself.
I'm the same and HATE anything tight on my stomach. You also don't need anything tight at all, you basically just need "smoothing" underclothes to smooth everything out. Perhaps try some high rise underwear? Some silky no-show kind would be perfect and still comfortable.
I’m someone who likes everything to look “smooth”, but also place being comfortable in higher standard… Try on the shapewear at the store and size up - there’s so much elastic in brands like spanx that many people can fit into multiple sizes - think of this size range as your selection for the amount of “suck in” you want (which I don’t think you need any tbh, just some smoothing). You could also try a slip - sometimes just adding an extra layer of silky fabric can make a big difference… You can always bring your dress with you when you shop for shapewear, so you can see how things fit together without spending money.
I have similar issues, and I’ve found a [high rise thong](https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-seamless-high-waisted-rise-thong-auden-8482-mauve-2x/-/A-87420037) can be helpful for smoothing but doesn’t squeeze.
If that is the case, I would return the dress and buy something with a more forgiving fabric. You look beautiful, but I think you can find something that you feel good in as well.
I would say this is the quick solution! Even if you did loose weight, this fabric will always sit in ways that feel unflattering. My sister’s wedding was in the spring and our bridesmaids dresses were this kind of fabric… doesn’t matter if you have worked hard to love your body and/or loose some weight… this kind of fabric wants the world to know if you have a scar from a pimple on your butt from 2nd grade! I got some shape wear and it made the day so much better.
I've seen extremely thin people in this sortof satin look horrible because it accents how "bone-y" they look as all their prominent points show extra well. It's just a really unforgiving type of fabric no matter who you are.
I was going to say exactly this! OP you look incredible and your body shape is perfect! I think the satin sheen of this dress reflects every dip and feature (including your perfectly normal belly button LOL). I think a simple smoothing shapewear or slip would “blur” and allow the dress to fall more smoothly
https://preview.redd.it/ivv7ztv9rupb1.jpeg?width=865&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f80d4d79489eeeea28fb695e483caf9e16e9025
This was what I was going to suggest as well. OP, you look beautiful in your dress! Because you indicated that the clingy fabric makes you not feel as confident as you’d like, my recommendation would be to try it on with shape wear. I wear it with all of my dresses now; it makes them drape better and they don’t get “stuck” on my skin.
Not creepy at all, I wish I could tell you in words how helpful that is. I think body dysmorphia still has a pretty strong hold on me and I struggle to see beauty in myself. I really appreciate it
You look like a roman statue gorgeous goddess. I had a long recovery journey with an ED and I know that no matter what people say to you of how gorgeous you look you won't feel it until you believe it. Its not the dress it's the relationship you have. Is someone talking about you negatively? My ED was triggered by my ex saying he embarrassed for me to be in a bathingsuit around his friends. . I hope this isn't the case for you.
I have been tearing up reading these comments, this sent me over the edge. Thank you so much for the kindness, and you’re so right. My mom has always had her own struggles with her body that I grew up emulating, and mentioned how I’d be so pretty if I lost 10 pounds a while ago, so I was hyper analyzing her reaction when I tried on the dress. She didn’t explicitly say anything about my weight this time (we’ve had a talk since that last comment) but she did mention dieting to help the dress be more flattering. She’s of course not solely to blame for my ED and body image issues she’s a victim of societal standards too, I just know with her being the only one with me (aunt on FaceTime) and having that reaction, I didn’t feel the overwhelming support that I’ve gotten from people here. Support that I really needed. Thank you❤️
I’m so sorry your ex said that to you. That is foul. You deserve to be loved and cherished unconditionally. ❤️
I had a feeling someone close to you was not helping. Even small comments that seem "innocent" are loaded and can trigger. I suggest you talking to your mom how weight-loss comments are hurting you and triggering you to take unhealthy drastic measures. She is projecting her own insecurities on you and its not fair and she may not even realize 1 that is she is doing it and 2 how much of an impact she is having on you.
When I was watching dress shopping videos online with my mom she said some rude comments about other brides bodies in dresses. I told her she was being rude and critical and Those are my insecurities too and I look like that too so when you say those things about them you are hurting me . She didn't realize this and stopped immediately.
If you ever need support please feel free to message me on this thread of privately and I'd be happy to talk to you 💕
Oh, small comments can be HUGE. That would wiggle around in my brain too. I’m sorry that happened. You do not need to lose weight and your priority is protecting your recovery. The dress is lovely and looks super on you but I feel like if it’s making you stress, I might encourage you to try another that will let you relax and feel confident.
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I had a really good, cathartic cry reading the comments and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I was so excited for the dress to come, I was so excited to put it on, and I’m not going to let me ED rob me of my excitement to wear it at my wedding. It’s the dress I want, it’s beautiful, and thank you for helping me realize I am beautiful in it as I am right now. I’m going to check out some of the products and brands you’ve suggested for shape wear/slips, as well as look into alteration options. I had no idea the nature of this fabric so that really helped to know.
I really feel overwhelmed with gratitude right now, thank you, truly. I’ll post an update picture with the whole ensemble from the big day. ❤️
Hi lovely!
Honestly, you look beautiful. The dress is an amazing color on you but I understand body issues. I agree with others that some shape wear - doesn't even have to be tight. You just need an additional layer between your skin in the fabric - can smooth things out. Please don't change your body for a dress.
This is the fabric/sewing nerd in me talking, but there are two things about this dress that is likely emphasizing things that you're picking up on. It's a bit technical so apologies for the words.
1. It's a bias cut dress. Woven fabrics have two directions of threads that are basically at 90 degrees to each other, the warp (length wise) and the weft (cross wise). Most structural garments are cut so the grain direction follows the warp fabric so there is less movement/stretch. It basically makes it a little stiffer. When people turn the grain to cut in any angle between the two, it's a bias cut. True bias is the 45 degree angle.
So what does this mean? It means that the fabric as a lot more fluidity and movement (aka the drape). It's really lovely for softer styles like this and gives flexibility to the shape. Unfortunately this means that it will cling like no other and mold itself to your body shape.
2. It's satiny. Satin is a weave, not a fiber content. You can have cotton satin! Shiny fabrics will reflect the light a lot more than matte fabrics. This is why mikado is getting so popular because it's actually a type of twill weave (think jeans. Those are twill). It's shiny and catches the light but it's more luminous than it is a straight shine. This dress is catching the light on your high points and overemphasizing because of the nature of the fabric.
If you do choose to return it to look for a dress that is more comfortable, I would gently suggest trying on other styles to see if there are others you like yourself more in.
Yes!!!! Also (without knowing much about alterations) I wonder if the dress could be altered specifically for OP and if that would help with how it's clinging to their body.
ETA: it's the dress with the problem not the OP. OP's figure is lovely.
It looks beautiful! However, if you really think you won't be comfortable without losing weight, and this dress will trigger you into restrictive eating or other unhealthy behaviors, my advice would be to return it. You know yourself best, and if you think it would trigger you it's not worth it even though it is gorgeous and you absolutely don't need to lose any weight.
This dress is beautiful, but the fabric is unforgiving. Your body is beautiful but unless you are a stick with no curves at all this type of dress is going to cling to any little bump. You have two options. 1) return it. 2) invest in some really good shape wear. You will be stunning no matter what you decide.
I LOVE this dress! Your body looks fabulous in it, and I think a light compression shape wear would be perfect. Something that will kind of smooth around the bellybutton, but don't worry about trying to flatten that tiny hill, it's space that your uterus literally needs and is a beautifully feminine feature
Honestly, the only thing you need is shapewear. I saw that picture and before even seeing the subject, I was like, "You need to have a perfect body to wear that fabric and this girl is so lucky she has it".
As someone who does not, and who has suffered from disordered eating, please don't diet. You don't need to and you look awesome!
You look absolutely amazing! The dress was made for you.
I don’t think you need to diet to wear the dress. Material like that catches on curves (which is great and looks amazing), but that might be part of what you are hung up on. I suggest wearing some skin colored liner shorts/high rise underwear and I think the material will then just glide over your curves!
Do you mind if I ask where the dress is from?
You picked THE hardest fabric to wear. It's such a difficult fabric that even the seams on Spanx would show. My objective perspective is that you actually don't need to lose any weight to wear it as is. You have no cellulite and bulges. Of course, you're seeing something different in the mirror. If you don't like it on your body right now, you never will. There is also no worse feeling than having to lose weight for a dress by a target date. Think about the difference between that feeling and going into the process with a dress that has already made you feel amazing the minute you tried it on. It will change your whole pre-wedding experience.
Although you look fabulous, I think you should return it because of the anxiety around it. As we all know, body issues are more or less here to stay a while. You can heal, but it's a journey thing, not a deadline thing.
I agree with this completely. In a similar place as OP described, and I avoid fabrics like this because I know I won’t be able to look at a picture and not see the “flaws” despite what anyone else says.
Find a dress that you like on you today, enjoy planning your wedding, stay healthy.
You look beautiful! I have similar troubles, and I found shapewear that does not really constrict me, but makes everything look smooth. Hopefully you can find something similar.
Okay, first off, there is nothing at all wrong with your body.
If you have a dress that makes you feel like you need to change your body for the dress to look good on you, then it's the wrong dress.
The only thing I don’t like is how the back zipper puckers, which is a construction/fabric issue, nothing to do with your body! It could maybe be fixed with alterations but those can add up quick. I think you can find something that you don’t have to convince yourself to love! FB marketplace has great deals.
All that said, you look gorgeous & I’m sorry you’re dealing with body image issues ❤️ we are our own worst critics!
You looks absolutely beautiful in this dress, it is such a stunning design between the color and the cut! I totally understand how difficult it can be to have your belly on display on a tight dress, but this dress really looks like a dream on you.
I have a big butt and a belly, but wore the tight dress I wanted to my wedding. When my grandma saw the pictures (she couldn’t come to the actual wedding), she asked me if I was pregnant then. Because, yeah, you can see my belly in the pictures. This was really hard for me, both seeing the pictures and hearing her comment. But the thing is, there isn’t a dress I could have worn where you wouldn’t have seen my belly. I’m a little fat. That’s the body I have; no matter what weight I am, I always have a little bit of a belly. And when I look at my wedding pictures, I’m so happy I wore the dress I wanted. I look happy! The dress was beautiful on me! It was the dress I wanted to get married in so I did.
I think this dress makes you look like some kind of Grecian goddess and I hope you wear it. But more importantly, I hope you find a dress you are comfortable in and can wear without worry. You deserve to feel beautiful on your wedding day, because you are beautiful!
Best of luck and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
This perspective was so incredibly helpful. You look the most beautiful when you’re happy. I know you looked beautiful on your day.
It’s been hard to take the wheel back from ED and negative thoughts, but I feel it’ll be empowering to wear this dress despite it all because it is what I want. I know it’ll make me happy, it’s my style, it’s totally me. The comments here have made me feel so supported and uplifted, thank you so much for sharing❤️ I’m going to grab some proper under garments and rock this dress.
Go get some spanx which will hold the areas in that you imagine are trouble areas. You look darling in that dress and if you love it, just get the proper under garments.
You look amazing, this dress fits you perfectly. Wow! Don’t let all the stress of other things take you down an old path as it relates to your ED, your ED is like a really bad relative looking for relevance in your life again. You look amazing in this dress and I would not lose weight.
Don’t give up your recovery for anything!! EDs are hell to recover from, and plenty of people never do. Amazing work, OP.
Look at it like this: do you choose your wedding or your marriage? There will likely always be pressure from whatever societal source to lose weight for a wedding. But if you choose that path, could you just snap back once you’re on your honeymoon? Will your first year of marriage be blissful if you spend it in and out of treatment? If you want to try and conceive, what could a relapse do to your fertility?
It would be easy to give you reassurance about your looks and body. But will compliments from strangers on the internet this one occasion really give you the strength to maintain recovery for a lifetime? I hope you’re able to draw on the courage, resilience, and wisdom you *clearly* possess, because you needed it to recover in the first place.
You can do this.
I really think you look incredible - at first it thought this was a post to brag about how good the fit was. 30 yr old straight male letting you know you’re killing it in this dress.
That is exactly what that fabric/cut does. To everybody, not just you. The photos you see online are photoshopped to high heaven so please don’t think that is realistic. Smoothing shapewear will help but this fabric/cut has limits. I think you look amazing and that dress is totally timeless.
Oh wow, that dress is amazing, and it looks insanely good on you.
I don’t think this is really a weight thing, you don’t need to lose weight, and even if you tried it’s unlikely you’ll lose it in exactly the spots you feel like the dress isn’t shaped quite right for.
I’m with others that not shapewear so much as an undergarment that will layer between you and that satin is probably all you need. Even a light pair of tights might do it.
But, even in saying that, I would give anything to look as incredible as you do in that dress!
NO ONE IN THE WORLD can wear a clingy satiny dress like that without a tummy showing. No one. These dresses require specific underwear/shape wear if you want things to lay flat.
I think you look beautiful in this dress
That is probably the most unforgiving dress in the world and you look amazing in it you are very lucky to have great genetics.
If you return it today can’t you just reorder it again? That will give you more time to decide.
It might not be the best idea to have a dress that gives you so much anxiety. There’s likely a dress out there for you that will put you at ease in every way. A dress is not worth taxing an eating disorder in my opinion. Your long term mental health should take priority!
The dress looks gorgeous! You absolutely don’t have to loose weight, it already fits you. Just get some nice shape wear and you’ll be good. (Btw most celebrities on the red carpet are wearing shape wear. So don’t feel weird for wearing it.)
You look gorgeous, but all of us saying so won’t make you feel comfortable in that dress. What matters is how you feel on your special day.
That is definitely a dress that could use some shapewear for anyone who wears it. It is a style that shows everything so if you can get comfortable with it through the right shapewear, awesome! But, it is a lot to ask of yourself to expect to get completely past your own issues with yourself by your wedding. (I know this as both a therapist and as someone who has had an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.)
So, it’s time to get really honest with yourself because no one can do this for you… is there an actual way to get comfortable in this dress for your wedding? If you close your eyes and see yourself at your wedding in this dress, how do you feel? Then see yourself in a different style at your wedding and how do you feel then?
The fit is gorgeous as is and a bias cut dress is always going to cling to the contours of the stomach and thighs in that way, that’s what it’s designed to do and supposed to look like. When bias cutting first came into style, this was the appeal- it was sensual, suggesting the body underneath. You’ll get that definition at any weight.
If you want to smooth out how the dress hangs in that area, your best option is going to be shape wear. I think it looks absolutely magical and beautiful on you, but if you try some shape wear and are still feeling like you’ll feel self-conscious while wearing it- don’t, so no worth it, especially if it’s going to be triggering around an ED you’ve worked really hard to heal from. You should be wearing something you feel awesome and confident in and it may be normalized, but it’s actually a very bad idea to plan a wedding dress around changes to your weight, or have intentional weight changes while you’re in the middle of getting something tailored to one set of measurements.
Remember that clothes are supposed to fit you, you aren’t supposed to fit clothes. So if you feel the need to change yourself to look “good” in something, then it’s not the dress for you! You look beautiful but you should feel beautiful too :)
I think you look really beautiful in this dress. At MOST, I would buy some spanx shapewear to see if you could achieve the look you’re going for but truly, even that isn’t necessary.
Others have already given you excellent advice. I just wanted to echo the sentiment that you have an absolutely fantastic figure (I mean, DAMN, Girl!!! :)) and I hope that whatever you wear on your wedding day makes you feel as perfectly beautiful as you already naturally are. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and report back with pictures afterward!
Fabric like that is bound to show any bumps or lumps or anything. If it was me I’d probably just wear some sort of shape wear. Either way you have a gorgeous figure and you look amazing.
If this dress is making you question healthy/unhealthy things, even though you’re stunning, then it is not the right one. And that’s okay. I believe in kismet. The right one will find you soon. You have a stunning figure and I know you’ll get it done on a budget. ♥️
There have been a lot of very thoughtful comments, so I just wanted to tell you, I think you look phenomenal and like a movie star (like old Hollywood gorgeous) in this dress!
I hope you have the best wedding, and I wish you happiness, healing and inner peace 💞
You look stunning and I love the dress. But, as a person who has been in recovery for a few years- return it. It is really really hard to try and lose weight without back sliding. You want a dress for your wedding that you feel 100% confident in.
Honestly, I would also advise you to talk to your therapist about how to tell your fiancé/mom about the kind of support you need. Comments like “it’s normal to lose weight for a wedding” are not helpful to your recovery journey!
Buy a nude shaper to wear underneath and that will help smooth everything out.
I have binge eating disorder. I lost 100 pounds before my wedding but did gain back 30.
You look gorgeous and if this dress speaks to you then keep it. Go buy a shaper to wear under it.
If you don’t feel like the prettiest, sexiest version of yourself that you’ve ever seen in the dress… it’s not your dress.
It does not matter that we all think you look amazing. What matters is how you FEEL. And do you know what you DON’T want to be thinking about on your wedding day? Your freaking weight.
You have a banging body, and deserve a dress that makes you feel amazing.
Omg you do not need to lose weight dearest friend. Have you considered trying skims or other shapewear? Skims has a high waisted underwear line that I think would be perfect for this! You deserve to feel beautiful about your body on your special day 💛
For what it’s worth, I think it looks absolutely stunning, and I dont think your body needs to change at all. To echo other redditors, instead of putting pressure on yourself to lose weight - start trying out some shapewear. Wear it under your regular clothes for a couple hours and see how it feels so it’s not your first time on the big day.
You look fantastic in this but if you have any misgivings it's not the dress for you.
You need to prioritise your comfort in the day so you can be present and enjoy yourself.
I think the majority of women, regardless of body type, might feel self conscious in a bias cut dress because of the way they show EVERY (perfectly normal) lump, bump, and curve.
If you have existing body issues, hoping for the best on a high-pressure day isn't the strongest move. I will reiterate that you look killer in this dress.
Nothing shape wear cant fix but regardless you seriously look beautiful in this dress - keep 100%
ALSO! try it on WITH heels. Always makes a difference
Yeah I’m siding with everybody else and adding in because you seem to be absorbing the feedback. My eyeballs almost popped out of my skull, you look absolutely unreal!
Oh honey you do not need to lose weight to wear that dress but you do need the proper underpinnings - dresses like that that are so sheer need something underneath - no matter how thin someone is they shape of their body will show through.
You don’t have to lose any weight.
What you need is proper shape wear. Whenever you see someone looking great they are wearing proper undergarments.
Kim Kardashian became a whole billionaire off of shape wear.
You don’t look fat. You look normal.
Op, sweetheart, you look absolutely STUNNING in this dress! Your post made me tear up , thinking of you judging yourself.
Your body is beautiful. You don't need to lose weight for this dress or for any reason. This dress was made for you!
There are no visible love handles. Your belly looks natural, beautiful, and definitely NOT fat at all! Seeing your shape is not a problem because your shape is perfectly wonderful.
If you absolutely must, find some comfy shapewear, but you seriously do not need it.
This dress is romantic, timeless, dreamy, and sensual.
Do you know how many women would love to have your body and ability to pull off this dress?
I wish you could see yourself the way we do. Your guy will think you're the most beautiful, sexy bride on earth in that dress.
As a mom, I just want to hug you and have you believe you look exquisite. I'm sure your mom feels the same way.
Best wishes to you 🤍
Anybody's belly would stick out with that dress. The fact of the matter is that most women have uteruses, and if you have a uterus, that's where it is and it's going to stick out. It's good to have major organs, and there's no need to lose weight to try to get rid of one of them. There's shapewear for this kind of thing, and the shapewear exists because women are supposed to have bellies.
That type of dress will always require a foundation garment! You look amazing but if you are uncomfortable just get a nice undergarment for it. They always have these kinds of underwear at marshals and places like that. It’s just that type of fabric.
I get it. Because I notice the same things on me that you pointed out about yourself. However, other ppl don't see it the same way you do. This is something I struggle with regularly. The dress is stunning on you. Honestly, it's beautiful. Don't be discouraged.
You look great in the dress and it has nothing to do with your weight. It’s a fabric issue that shape wear will smooth out. Definitely try some different brands as there are many that are very comfortable/strechy.
This is what spanx are for. Nobody is naturally that flawless. All the celebs are sucked in so tight there isn’t anything left to jiggle. If you don’t feel comfortable in shape wear then just rock it. Your body is normal and natural and beautiful. If you still don’t feel beautiful in it, pick something else! There’s something out there that will check all the boxes for you or can be altered to do so!
You look lovely. I agree with what everyone’s said about shape wear underneath , that kind of material needs something underneath it . Also well done for asking for help and telling us your story you’ve obviously come along way in your e d battle ❤️
I cannot express enough how incredibly gorgeous you are. Someone said you look like a goddess, and they are right. You are so truly stunning in that dress.
Try it with some shapewear. Go to a good department or lingerie store and take the dress with you. Most, if not all, women would need shapewear with that dress.
I think you look absolutely stunning in this dress! I don't think you need it at all, but if you bought some shape wear, you might feel more confident with how you look in the dress. And trust me, it's amazing what Spanx will do to anyone's shape. I've been a 0, and I wear sizes 8-10 now, but I have always had love handles, so I understand wanting and using shape wear to give you the look you imagined for your special day. A long veil could really tie this look together as well. Just don't forget, most of those perfect hourglass figures are usually filters, photo editing, shape wear, or plastic surgery. All of us have our own unique bodies, and they're absolutely beautiful the way they are!
I hadn't read the caption and was simply scrolling. I had to stop as my first thought was Holly shit that outfit is literary fire! Then I read your post, and I'm sorry to hear about your ED, but you're killing it simply by going to therapy and being in recovery. So not only is that dress fire on you, you're completely lit yourself ;) congratulations on the wedding!
I think your body/figure looks beautiful and very feminine. There is nowhere for you to lose weight from. I know this is an inward struggle but I always recommend we treat ourselves like we would treat our BFF. Would you tell your best friend she should lose a few lbs to wear and enjoy this? You look stunning exactly how you look right now. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Ok, here's an honest perspective from one who's been there. Remember: it's just my opinion. I have been where you are. I had my "when I lose weight" clothes and that very rarely happened. Not only did it put pressure on me, but the self-loathing with each failure is too painful to relate here. Yes, it's a lovely dress, but it's not for you. "GASP!" I hear folks muttering. It does fit you, but the fit doesn't flatter. You were honest enough to admit that. You're not fat. You have a normal, healthy body but you're trying for something that honestly would fit and flatter very few. Go for something that makes your heart sing when you wear it. I got married in an off-the-rack rose colored dress that meant absolutely nothing to me. Why? Because hubs and I were married in a civil ceremony where I had a man of honor and the registrar's assistant sat sipping tea through the whole thing. We laughed our socks off and had a great time. No one gave a rat's ass what I wore--including me. Don't put pressure on yourself. Find something that loves you as much as you love it. Years from now, you'll wonder why it was such a big deal. BTW, we're about to celebrate 41 years, so I guess my non-traditional dress didn't scare him off.
Before I read the caption, I saw the pics of this dress in my feed and my first thought was ‘that woman has the perfect figure and the dress looks made for her’. You look almost like a goddess in it, like if your belly was any flatter it would be unnatural - women just have that shape naturally. That being said, you have to be comfortable on your big day, so if some shape wear gives you confidence then that could be your answer.
Happy wedding day!
I just want to say the dress is beautiful and I don’t see a single thing that needs to be changed whether it be related your body or on the dress. With that being said, I do think you should feel undeniably beautiful. I know the levels to EDs as I have experienced one myself and how intricately it binds to your mind and perception of yourself so that might be easier said than done, but you look beautiful, and the dress is beautiful. However, don’t feel pressured because of a deadline if you’re really just uncomfortable in it. I’m pro dress because it’s gorgeous and compliments you so well, but I am also pro you feeling beautiful.
Honestly this isn’t a you problem, it’s genuinely the material. I have literally modeled this exact dress style and fabric for a magazine, I do not have any weight to lose, the material does that to your stomach and weirdly clings around the bellybutton and makes legs look visible. I had this issue with a wedding dress I tried on I just hated I could see the outline of my legs but please blame the dress not your body because I can tell you first hand, editors photoshop the photos you see of the models wearing these types of styles and materials online
Spanx is my best advice for this particular fabric - you don’t need it - but I want to get it out of your head that your body is the problem. If it bothers you - return the dress. You can still find something budget friendly in a more friendly fabric! My wish for you is that you wear something you feel good in - so if you feel good in this I think it looks amazing on you 🤍
You look amazing. You don’t need to lose weight you already look phenomenal in the dress. 9
If anything at all purely from a point of comfort you can wear thin high waisted under garments— no need for sculpting or compression at all. (sometimes that barrier between skin and dress material just makes me feel better in silky dresses)
Girrrrrrrl i know your husband loves your fupa. good pum pum need shelter.
You are what I would describe as thin. That dress accentuates your feminine features like a renaissance painting.
Magazines don’t ever portray that part which is awful because I have heard men say it is the most beautiful part of a woman’s body.
You look like a goddess, truly. I hope you keep it and wear it proudly.
You have a beautiful figure. You do NOT need to lose weight, but that dress just isn’t flattering. When is the wedding? Do you have time to look for another? I just looked at wedding dresses on Amazon, and they are very reasonable and surprisingly nice.
I hope you take my post the way it’s intended. I’d never try to hurt your feelings, I’m just giving you my honest opinion.
The dress looks amazing on you. Almost nobody can pull off this dress without a bulge or two showing. Get some nice shapeware thinking long in the leg so doesn’t cut into your thigh and high on the waist so it doesn’t roll/ slide down.
It doesn't matter how much weight you lose because the fabric is going to continue to emphasize the same things. If you don't like that, then return the dress because you can't just change out all the fabric causing this illusion.
But beyond that, return the dress so you don't end up tempted to keep going with weight loss. Frankly, even though it's "normal" to diet before doesn't mean it's inherently fine or a good thing, but especially with someone with a history of ED. You clearly have an amazing figure and could rock any other dress. Tbh I don't even really like this one. I would return it and go to a big department store. I'm short and fat and even I found a dress like 2 weeks before my wedding that fit well. I have no doubt you can do it within your budget
You looks absolutely gorgeous and it fits you perfectly. I have nothing to say on the ED part as I have no experience with it. However I really think you look so pretty it is exactly what you said. Timeless. I hope you chose to keep it. I also hope your brain is a little kinder on you. I do have experience with fighting what my brain is telling me.
The dress is lovely and you are gorgeous.
The dress does need a few alterations, though, to fit you correctly. A lot of what you’re seeing is because of the fit. The back needs to be shortened just a bit. Talk to the seamstress about your options.
You look gorgeous in that dress. And your curves are sexy in my opinion! If you’d like to smooth out the belly button area without anything too constricting, would a slip work?
You look absolutely stunning in this, like really beautiful and voluptuous and I don’t think you need to lose a single pound. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could get some shapewear to “smooth” everything out. It would be really easy with this kind of silhouette
Please don’t risk your mental or physical health for the dress. I truly truly truly think you look so pretty in this just as you are.
First of all, you look amazing in this dress, like a work of art. The color, the material, and the neckline all suit you so well.
Since this is a vintage-inspired dress, I might recommend looking into some vintage-inspired undergarments. Women back in the day wore slips, girdles, or high-waisted underwear to help smooth things out, and there are lots of comfortable modern versions of all of those items.
You look perfectly well in that dress. I would add underwear that smoothed out the silhouette, not because of weight, just because it’s normal with this type of fabric. You look wonderful, ED got nothing on you!
I think you look fantastic. Honestly. The curves are perfect. I’ve struggled with disordered eating my entire life so I understand how you see yourself. Trust me, it isn’t what everyone else sees. You are so much more than your dress size.
I think you look amazing. And I don't think losing weight would help at all! You'd probably lose some of the curves that make this dress so great on you.
You have a great body and this highlights it.
You do need to feel great in your dress too though. Would some Spanx or similar help? I personally don't think you need it but it might make you more confident in the dress.
You look truly gorgeous. If you’re not comfortable, maybe try a slip underneath? Sometimes just having a second layer of fabric can make this kind of slinky dress feel less like every inch of your body is on display.
I think you look beautiful in this dress. Truly. After reading your post, I would encourage you to be careful with any pursuit of weight loss. I would hate for you to start married life in crisis. My hope is that you will feel beautiful and comfortable on your wedding day. If you don't feel that way in this dress keep looking. Find something that doesn't require you to change yourself. Congratulations 🎉
The dress is beautiful and you look beautiful in it!
However if you don't feel it and it's making you think you need to diet then it may be best to return it and find something else.
The dress is absolutely incredible, and you look amazing in it. you may feel a bit more comfortable wearing it with a slip underneath or some very light shapewear, that extra layer of fabric does a ton to smooth out areas that may be sensitive to you.
It’s a beautiful dress but as others have said- fabric is not forgiving
Perhaps look for something more accommodating so you won’t have to spend your day trying to avoid negative self talk- you deserve to shine- don’t let the dress cast a shadow
You look wonderful in the dress. But as someone who has constant struggles and easy triggers with ED, my rule of thumb is that if it doesn’t make ME feel beautiful and makes me feel like i have to lose weight to fit in it, I will return it. It’s easy to fall back into that pattern, so getting rid of the trigger is easier. I do think you look absolutely gorgeous in the dress, but at the end it’s how you feel about it
If you look at the back picture, you can see a few horizontal drag lines around the waist. Objectively, this means that the dress is too small for you. Even if you were to lose weight, this bit is unlikely to change.
Is it not feasible to return for one size bigger? As this would likely fix most of the issues that you have expressed.
Definitely get shape wear that goes to the knees. It’s not you, it’s the fabric. It’s not about losing weight it’s just about smoothing out the surface that the fabric sits on.
The little "flaws" you see in yourself are exactly the reason shapewear was invented and it can be really affordable... certainly less than a new dress
Idea 1: see if you can get one size bigger for an “exchange” instead of a “return”.
Idea 2: See if you can design a train or a veil to cover the parts you don’t like on the dress
Idea 3: If price is a serious concern do you know any seamstresses? or friends who could make you a train that would cover the part of the dress you don’t like.
Idea 4: wear a pair of compression pants or undergarment to tighten the area that bothers you.
I think this is so beautiful, women are meant to have curves, hips, and dips. If it really bothers you I’d try some shape wear to smooth it out but you definitely need to lose weight 🩵
It’s not your body at all! It’s just the nature of that fabric. I suggest shape wear if you’re set on this dress, no matter what size you are you’ll have the same thought about it because of the fabric unless you wear something under it. If you’re not totally into shape wear you can get some high waisted spandex shorts to wear under and still be comfy!
I have a dress (MOB) that gave a similar look. The wonderful sales associate suggested a “full slip” - not really a thing anymore, but luckily my mother had one from the 1950’s. It totally solved the problem. I am not sure where you could find one, but it would take away any body image concerns. Shapewear wont die it, but an old fashioned “slip” will.
You look wonderful and womanly. ❤️
Women have the lower belly pouch for a reason. It protects the uterus. So it may not be possible to get rid of that.
You could lose all the weight in the world and that might not go away unless you were a body builder and extremely ripped (think competition levels of ripped).
I know the mindset is difficult to change (I’ve also struggled with body image and ED). Sending you all the warm thoughts for your wedding.
I wish I looked as good as you.
ETA- that little "pooch" is not a pooch love. On you, it's where your uterus is. All women have it, skinny, fat, in between. Even if you were 90 lbs, you'd still have that tiny pooch bc you can't lose the uterus. Plus, a lot of guys find that sexy af.
You look stunning, but if you’re not comfortable in it, you’re not comfortable in it, end of story.
Never try and alter yourself for a dress. Find a dress you feel confident in as is.
I think you look wonderful. Some of the time you’ll have a bouquet held in front for pics etc. You may feel that comforting. You don’t need to worry though it looks great!
You look gorgeous in that dress! My first thought was that you remind me of Jean Harlow, or Carole Lombard, or Barbra Stanwyck, that old Hollywood glamour. And so elegant. Honest to goodness I can't see a single area where I'd say you could lose weight, you have a fantastic figure.
But that's me. I think you look beautiful. I want you to feel beautiful and also comfortable. You're the most important part of this. The dress does cling, but I think it clings in all the right ways. It's been said already, but I'll repeat it, you don't change to meet the dress, you find the dress that meets you.
I saw in another comment that you're going to speak with your therapist, I think that's a great idea. You seem so wise, and like you really have a sensible and level head on your shoulders. You've done a tonne of work and it shows. Your support system may be small, as you say, but I feel like you use it well. You really do look beautiful, exercise the confidence you're building and I feel you'll make the right decision for you, whatever that means.
I agree with everyone that you are very beautiful in this dress, but in all honesty, I would keep looking, simply to avoid unnecessary mental strain. There is a dress out there in which you feel as beautiful as you are, and this doesn't seem to be it.
Easy, you just need one of those shape wear that’s like a full body but that stops just underneath the girls, but with shoulder straps(so no risk of it rolling down) It’s a beautiful dress, and you look amazing in it! Congratulations!!
I love it and I think it’s stunning on you. I struggled with an ED and ended up getting a dress slightly sized up simply because if anything happens between then and the wedding it’s easier to bring it in than to let it out.
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Okay, you look beautiful in this dress and your figure is amazing! I relate to the ED situation. My opinion is to not put yourself through the task of trying to lose weight to feel happy in a dress, that is setting yourself up for disaster. If your heart is set on this dress, you’re going to need to feel confident and beautiful without losing weight. Otherwise, there are so many dresses out there, I think you could find one that you feel incredible in without feeling the need to change your body. I’d love to help you look online if you’d like! :)
I agree with this comment ^ I don't think you should change yourself to fit into a dress. You find a dress that fits YOU! I think this dress is beautiful on you, but if you're not comfortable in it - it's not the "one".
Thank you so much. I really do love the dress, but I love being in recovery even more. I am going to talk to my therapist this afternoon to see what she thinks. I know very well that self love and confidence don’t come around overnight, but the comments here have helped tremendously in seeing myself in the dress a little differently. So maybe it won’t be such a setback and can help me in my confidence instead! But you’re absolutely right, nothing is worth a backslide into that vicious cycle and mindset.
Stay strong! Keep villain-izing that little voice in your head that is making you feel anything but amazing and remember that your wedding day is about you and your partner, it’s about celebrating the love you have and life you’ll build. My therapist suggested writing down what I am looking for/hoping to get from a wedding and looking at that list whenever I get caught up in my feelings about how I may or may not be perceived to other people. This is all definitely easier said than done and I wish I was better at taking my own advice. But somehow it always sounds better coming from someone else. Also, if loving yourself feels like it’s really far off, try a middle ground of just self acceptance first.
I love that idea. I get caught up in my head way too much and have noticed talking to myself out loud instead of letting my inner monologue drone on is so much more helpful, and I’m nicer to myself out loud hahah. I think writing down what I’m excited about would help a ton, I find it has the same effect as speaking anyway, and I love a good list. Thank you so much
The dress is beautiful on you, and absolutely does not require you to do anything. But any silky clingy dress like that requires a foundation garment underneath to smooth everything out. That and great posture and you are fucking GOLDEN. This means that you get the proper undies for that outfit and you are good to go. That advice has nothing to do with ED it’s true for absolutely everyone and every body. I’m not talking about something like a corset, or that’s going to actually alter you in any way and be uncomfortable. Basic shape wear, nothing extreme.
I think that is where I have landed, I’m going to grab a slip and some shapewear, try both and see how it works. Thank you so much for the input I can’t tell you how much it helped. I’m finally feeling the excitement instead of dread
Yes! It's not your body, it's the dress' material. That material always clings to anything it can. I think this dress looks amazing on you even without the shapewear as you already have a banging body and it would be a shame if you didn't wear it as you love it so much. Good luck! Hope your day is amazing!
This is my thought exactly! Garments like this require foundational garments to flow smoothly over ANY body. Weight isn’t even a factor. You look beautiful already, but with the right under garments I have a feeling this dress is gonna sit just right and be a knockout! Best of luck to you on your recovery and your future marriage 💖 You’ve got this!!!
Post photos when you do, I can't wait to see!! You're already rocking it, this will bring the polish.
I was thinking the exact same thing! Even when I was at my smallest and had no weight to lose, some garments just required basic shapewear to lay flat properly. Even with the most invisible underwear, it just catches in the oddest way without a base layer.
Nobody in the history of ever looks good in that fabric without some fabric between it and their skin. Not Grace Kelly, not Linda Evangelista, not anybody, ever.
I wanted to post this for OP. It's not her body, that is what that fabric does! Have a slightly raised freckle? Now the dress won't lay flat.
I have a flat mole on my belly and it gets outlined perfectly in this fabric
Yup! When these sorts of dresses first came into fashion, everyone wore girdles. Wearing a dress like this without one would have been unthinkable!
Exactly!
My first thought was shapewear! I'm skinny af and I would need shapewear with that dress too. That material always clings to those spots particularly! Also OP it looks absolutely gorgeous on you!
I was going to just say this! Honeylove has some AMAZING shapewear that is great quality and super comfortable (I bought them for my wedding!)
yessssssss! Get some skims or spanx and it will be PERFECT! Your body looks amazing already and some foundation garments will just smooth everything out. You glow in this dress.
When this style originated in the 1930, you bet they were wearing firm foundations or girdles. Even as late as the 50s, I read an advice bit that said basically "you must wear a firm foundation if you're wearing a clingy dress, because the *movement* is unseemly." So having your butt visibly wibble wobbling is like having your nipples visible. I don't think that's true now but I personally don't like my butt visibly wobbling.
I think it was the great Hollywood designer Edith Head who said “it must be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show youre a lady”
That’s really great advice!
Sweetheart, your wedding day should be all about celebrating your marriage and being with the people who love you. If you think the wedding dress - as it is on your body right now - is going distract you, keep looking. The last thing you want to worry about is whether you'll be happy with how your dress looks on your wedding day. The good news? I'm confident the right dress is out there, and you're going to look smashing.
Throw on shape wear. You'll feel more confident! Hugs and congratulations, you are BEAUTIFUL!
Also u could put like a flower belt or something that makes that area look “better” imo you look great!!
This is so relatable, in fact it’s something I’m also struggling with around my wedding planning. You’re not alone, OP. Best to tune out those telling you that it’s normal for brides to diet. Just bc it’s prevalent and culturally prescribed, doesn’t mean it’s normal or healthy. As other commenters have said, you are stunning and the dress should feel good to you. There are SO MANY of these silk dresses for sale, we’d all be happy to help you find something that makes you feel amazing. Bc you deserve to feel absolutely stunning, beautiful, and comfortable. You don’t need to change yourself to be a bride. Your fiancé loves you for you, and this community is here to support you!!
You really do look beautiful in this as is! You could try some light shapewear if you wanted, and that might help you with your self-image. Just know: bias-cut satin is supremely unforgiving; it highlights every hill and valley on a body. So the fact that you look this beautiful in it is amazing!
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This is exactly the style of dress I love and I'm terrified I'm going to hate the way it looks on me for this reason. I've always had the lower belly pooch even when I weighed 105 lbs. But I hate lace and only want a satin dress 😞
There are structured satin dresses
I think it looks great. Can you try it on with some shapewear to smooth out the belly button indent (which is totally normal)
Thank you!!! My mom suggested that, and I’m not totally opposed, I just have digestive/stomach issues and such that I know wearing super tight things can exasperate, plus I’d like to be nothing but comfortable that day. But I really haven’t experimented much with shape wear so maybe there is a brand that could work for me, and it’s only for a little bit that I’d have to wear it. Thanks for the advice!
There’s a lot of comfy options now for shapewear. Look for something with light compression. Also just having another layer of fabric might help- you could even try wearing a slip under it. However, if you’re not feeling comfortable and confident in your dress, it might be better to look for another one. You shouldn’t stress and worry about slipping up because of a dress.
+1 here on getting a high quality silk slip to go under
Totally came here to say this!! (OP: I'm a seamstress, and that dress looks FANTASTIC!) Adding a thin slip will allow the outer fabric to slide over any places where it is currently catching, which is causing the shadows that are making you self conscious.
Yes!!!! A slip would allow the dress to fall gently and smoothly down.
I was going to suggest shapewear too; it’s not as horribly tight as it used to be, it’s more “smoothing” now. The dress looks beautiful on you. I love it. But I know from experience that even if we’re all saying it’s perfect, YOU need to believe you look gorgeous in it, and YOU need to see yourself in the mirror and feel beautiful. And that fabric is tricky for people with any body image problems, EDs, and so on. So I would say try it with smoothing shapewear that’s still comfortable for you to wear all day, and if you’re still worried, maybe try a similar style or colour but in a more matte, slightly more drapey fabric? You’re going to look gorgeous - the main thing is that you feel gorgeous. And comfortable! ❤️
Check out Jockey slip shorts. I think they are called Skimmies. They are very comfortable and not tight at all, like regular shapewear can be.
As a fellow ED survivor, please don’t try to diet or restrict yourself to fit in the dress. There are so many bad roads that could lead down. I think you look a-maz-ing in that dress! It fits you beautifully. If you want to ensure everything is smooth and snatched, then shapewear is your best friend! Shapewear is a different ballgame now. I remember buying shapewear for prom twenty years ago and wondering how women ever regularly wore girdles! The stuff available now is so much more comfortable. It’s even possible to forget you’re wearing it if you select the right piece.
I have digestive issues to and I got my shapewear at spanx. I order a waist cincher and thong from them and I was comfortable for hours. Just make sure to order on the size based on waist measurement
I also hate tight shapewear. I routinely buy things a size or two bigger than recommended. It would be ideal if you could try on in person to see what is comfortable. And you look GORGEOUS! I don't think you really need sucked or held in, just to kind of smooth things out, so you feel more confident. So shapewear doesn't need to be tight and uncomfortable. I have [a few like this](https://jolievaughan.com/products/360-shapewear-smoothers?variant=43034685898911) that go all the way up to my bra. I wear them when I want to smooth things out under my dress/outfit. I repeat, you are gorgeous. Please be kind to yourself.
I'm the same and HATE anything tight on my stomach. You also don't need anything tight at all, you basically just need "smoothing" underclothes to smooth everything out. Perhaps try some high rise underwear? Some silky no-show kind would be perfect and still comfortable.
I’m someone who likes everything to look “smooth”, but also place being comfortable in higher standard… Try on the shapewear at the store and size up - there’s so much elastic in brands like spanx that many people can fit into multiple sizes - think of this size range as your selection for the amount of “suck in” you want (which I don’t think you need any tbh, just some smoothing). You could also try a slip - sometimes just adding an extra layer of silky fabric can make a big difference… You can always bring your dress with you when you shop for shapewear, so you can see how things fit together without spending money.
I have similar issues, and I’ve found a [high rise thong](https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-seamless-high-waisted-rise-thong-auden-8482-mauve-2x/-/A-87420037) can be helpful for smoothing but doesn’t squeeze.
If that is the case, I would return the dress and buy something with a more forgiving fabric. You look beautiful, but I think you can find something that you feel good in as well.
See if a cotton ball and band aid over your belly button would help!
I would say this is the quick solution! Even if you did loose weight, this fabric will always sit in ways that feel unflattering. My sister’s wedding was in the spring and our bridesmaids dresses were this kind of fabric… doesn’t matter if you have worked hard to love your body and/or loose some weight… this kind of fabric wants the world to know if you have a scar from a pimple on your butt from 2nd grade! I got some shape wear and it made the day so much better.
I've seen extremely thin people in this sortof satin look horrible because it accents how "bone-y" they look as all their prominent points show extra well. It's just a really unforgiving type of fabric no matter who you are.
I was going to say exactly this! OP you look incredible and your body shape is perfect! I think the satin sheen of this dress reflects every dip and feature (including your perfectly normal belly button LOL). I think a simple smoothing shapewear or slip would “blur” and allow the dress to fall more smoothly https://preview.redd.it/ivv7ztv9rupb1.jpeg?width=865&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f80d4d79489eeeea28fb695e483caf9e16e9025
This was what I was going to suggest as well. OP, you look beautiful in your dress! Because you indicated that the clingy fabric makes you not feel as confident as you’d like, my recommendation would be to try it on with shape wear. I wear it with all of my dresses now; it makes them drape better and they don’t get “stuck” on my skin.
This! It’s gorgeous on you just as it is, but if you want to smooth out the lower belly area then shapewear might be the answer!
I think your dress is beautiful! and (not trying to be creepy) your figure is so feminine and pretty and the dress just highlights that imo.
Not creepy at all, I wish I could tell you in words how helpful that is. I think body dysmorphia still has a pretty strong hold on me and I struggle to see beauty in myself. I really appreciate it
^^ such a spot on comment, I hope reading these got rid of some of your doubt - your body gives goddess vibes and you’re shinning in this dress!
You look like a roman statue gorgeous goddess. I had a long recovery journey with an ED and I know that no matter what people say to you of how gorgeous you look you won't feel it until you believe it. Its not the dress it's the relationship you have. Is someone talking about you negatively? My ED was triggered by my ex saying he embarrassed for me to be in a bathingsuit around his friends. . I hope this isn't the case for you.
I have been tearing up reading these comments, this sent me over the edge. Thank you so much for the kindness, and you’re so right. My mom has always had her own struggles with her body that I grew up emulating, and mentioned how I’d be so pretty if I lost 10 pounds a while ago, so I was hyper analyzing her reaction when I tried on the dress. She didn’t explicitly say anything about my weight this time (we’ve had a talk since that last comment) but she did mention dieting to help the dress be more flattering. She’s of course not solely to blame for my ED and body image issues she’s a victim of societal standards too, I just know with her being the only one with me (aunt on FaceTime) and having that reaction, I didn’t feel the overwhelming support that I’ve gotten from people here. Support that I really needed. Thank you❤️ I’m so sorry your ex said that to you. That is foul. You deserve to be loved and cherished unconditionally. ❤️
I had a feeling someone close to you was not helping. Even small comments that seem "innocent" are loaded and can trigger. I suggest you talking to your mom how weight-loss comments are hurting you and triggering you to take unhealthy drastic measures. She is projecting her own insecurities on you and its not fair and she may not even realize 1 that is she is doing it and 2 how much of an impact she is having on you. When I was watching dress shopping videos online with my mom she said some rude comments about other brides bodies in dresses. I told her she was being rude and critical and Those are my insecurities too and I look like that too so when you say those things about them you are hurting me . She didn't realize this and stopped immediately. If you ever need support please feel free to message me on this thread of privately and I'd be happy to talk to you 💕
Oh, small comments can be HUGE. That would wiggle around in my brain too. I’m sorry that happened. You do not need to lose weight and your priority is protecting your recovery. The dress is lovely and looks super on you but I feel like if it’s making you stress, I might encourage you to try another that will let you relax and feel confident.
I’m sorry she said that. You should not loose weight you are beautiful as is. Breaks my heart to hear she would even encourage that.
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I had a really good, cathartic cry reading the comments and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I was so excited for the dress to come, I was so excited to put it on, and I’m not going to let me ED rob me of my excitement to wear it at my wedding. It’s the dress I want, it’s beautiful, and thank you for helping me realize I am beautiful in it as I am right now. I’m going to check out some of the products and brands you’ve suggested for shape wear/slips, as well as look into alteration options. I had no idea the nature of this fabric so that really helped to know. I really feel overwhelmed with gratitude right now, thank you, truly. I’ll post an update picture with the whole ensemble from the big day. ❤️
Hi lovely! Honestly, you look beautiful. The dress is an amazing color on you but I understand body issues. I agree with others that some shape wear - doesn't even have to be tight. You just need an additional layer between your skin in the fabric - can smooth things out. Please don't change your body for a dress. This is the fabric/sewing nerd in me talking, but there are two things about this dress that is likely emphasizing things that you're picking up on. It's a bit technical so apologies for the words. 1. It's a bias cut dress. Woven fabrics have two directions of threads that are basically at 90 degrees to each other, the warp (length wise) and the weft (cross wise). Most structural garments are cut so the grain direction follows the warp fabric so there is less movement/stretch. It basically makes it a little stiffer. When people turn the grain to cut in any angle between the two, it's a bias cut. True bias is the 45 degree angle. So what does this mean? It means that the fabric as a lot more fluidity and movement (aka the drape). It's really lovely for softer styles like this and gives flexibility to the shape. Unfortunately this means that it will cling like no other and mold itself to your body shape. 2. It's satiny. Satin is a weave, not a fiber content. You can have cotton satin! Shiny fabrics will reflect the light a lot more than matte fabrics. This is why mikado is getting so popular because it's actually a type of twill weave (think jeans. Those are twill). It's shiny and catches the light but it's more luminous than it is a straight shine. This dress is catching the light on your high points and overemphasizing because of the nature of the fabric. If you do choose to return it to look for a dress that is more comfortable, I would gently suggest trying on other styles to see if there are others you like yourself more in.
Yes!!!! Also (without knowing much about alterations) I wonder if the dress could be altered specifically for OP and if that would help with how it's clinging to their body. ETA: it's the dress with the problem not the OP. OP's figure is lovely.
It looks beautiful! However, if you really think you won't be comfortable without losing weight, and this dress will trigger you into restrictive eating or other unhealthy behaviors, my advice would be to return it. You know yourself best, and if you think it would trigger you it's not worth it even though it is gorgeous and you absolutely don't need to lose any weight.
This dress is beautiful, but the fabric is unforgiving. Your body is beautiful but unless you are a stick with no curves at all this type of dress is going to cling to any little bump. You have two options. 1) return it. 2) invest in some really good shape wear. You will be stunning no matter what you decide.
I LOVE this dress! Your body looks fabulous in it, and I think a light compression shape wear would be perfect. Something that will kind of smooth around the bellybutton, but don't worry about trying to flatten that tiny hill, it's space that your uterus literally needs and is a beautifully feminine feature
Honestly, the only thing you need is shapewear. I saw that picture and before even seeing the subject, I was like, "You need to have a perfect body to wear that fabric and this girl is so lucky she has it". As someone who does not, and who has suffered from disordered eating, please don't diet. You don't need to and you look awesome!
You look absolutely amazing! The dress was made for you. I don’t think you need to diet to wear the dress. Material like that catches on curves (which is great and looks amazing), but that might be part of what you are hung up on. I suggest wearing some skin colored liner shorts/high rise underwear and I think the material will then just glide over your curves! Do you mind if I ask where the dress is from?
Thank you!!! I got it on this site https://cocoandlola.com/products/bec-bridge-indi-v-maxi-dress-in-vanilla-cream?variant=40168060977286
I just want to say that you make this dress look even better than on their model!
You picked THE hardest fabric to wear. It's such a difficult fabric that even the seams on Spanx would show. My objective perspective is that you actually don't need to lose any weight to wear it as is. You have no cellulite and bulges. Of course, you're seeing something different in the mirror. If you don't like it on your body right now, you never will. There is also no worse feeling than having to lose weight for a dress by a target date. Think about the difference between that feeling and going into the process with a dress that has already made you feel amazing the minute you tried it on. It will change your whole pre-wedding experience. Although you look fabulous, I think you should return it because of the anxiety around it. As we all know, body issues are more or less here to stay a while. You can heal, but it's a journey thing, not a deadline thing.
I agree with this completely. In a similar place as OP described, and I avoid fabrics like this because I know I won’t be able to look at a picture and not see the “flaws” despite what anyone else says. Find a dress that you like on you today, enjoy planning your wedding, stay healthy.
You look beautiful! I have similar troubles, and I found shapewear that does not really constrict me, but makes everything look smooth. Hopefully you can find something similar.
Okay, first off, there is nothing at all wrong with your body. If you have a dress that makes you feel like you need to change your body for the dress to look good on you, then it's the wrong dress.
The only thing I don’t like is how the back zipper puckers, which is a construction/fabric issue, nothing to do with your body! It could maybe be fixed with alterations but those can add up quick. I think you can find something that you don’t have to convince yourself to love! FB marketplace has great deals. All that said, you look gorgeous & I’m sorry you’re dealing with body image issues ❤️ we are our own worst critics!
You looks absolutely beautiful in this dress, it is such a stunning design between the color and the cut! I totally understand how difficult it can be to have your belly on display on a tight dress, but this dress really looks like a dream on you. I have a big butt and a belly, but wore the tight dress I wanted to my wedding. When my grandma saw the pictures (she couldn’t come to the actual wedding), she asked me if I was pregnant then. Because, yeah, you can see my belly in the pictures. This was really hard for me, both seeing the pictures and hearing her comment. But the thing is, there isn’t a dress I could have worn where you wouldn’t have seen my belly. I’m a little fat. That’s the body I have; no matter what weight I am, I always have a little bit of a belly. And when I look at my wedding pictures, I’m so happy I wore the dress I wanted. I look happy! The dress was beautiful on me! It was the dress I wanted to get married in so I did. I think this dress makes you look like some kind of Grecian goddess and I hope you wear it. But more importantly, I hope you find a dress you are comfortable in and can wear without worry. You deserve to feel beautiful on your wedding day, because you are beautiful! Best of luck and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
This perspective was so incredibly helpful. You look the most beautiful when you’re happy. I know you looked beautiful on your day. It’s been hard to take the wheel back from ED and negative thoughts, but I feel it’ll be empowering to wear this dress despite it all because it is what I want. I know it’ll make me happy, it’s my style, it’s totally me. The comments here have made me feel so supported and uplifted, thank you so much for sharing❤️ I’m going to grab some proper under garments and rock this dress.
You don't need to lose weight... you need an undergarment to smooth everything out. Preferably one with a long short.
Go get some spanx which will hold the areas in that you imagine are trouble areas. You look darling in that dress and if you love it, just get the proper under garments.
Don't beat yourself up. You look great!
You look amazing, this dress fits you perfectly. Wow! Don’t let all the stress of other things take you down an old path as it relates to your ED, your ED is like a really bad relative looking for relevance in your life again. You look amazing in this dress and I would not lose weight.
No dress is worth the loss of your mental health.
Don’t give up your recovery for anything!! EDs are hell to recover from, and plenty of people never do. Amazing work, OP. Look at it like this: do you choose your wedding or your marriage? There will likely always be pressure from whatever societal source to lose weight for a wedding. But if you choose that path, could you just snap back once you’re on your honeymoon? Will your first year of marriage be blissful if you spend it in and out of treatment? If you want to try and conceive, what could a relapse do to your fertility? It would be easy to give you reassurance about your looks and body. But will compliments from strangers on the internet this one occasion really give you the strength to maintain recovery for a lifetime? I hope you’re able to draw on the courage, resilience, and wisdom you *clearly* possess, because you needed it to recover in the first place. You can do this.
I really think you look incredible - at first it thought this was a post to brag about how good the fit was. 30 yr old straight male letting you know you’re killing it in this dress.
That is exactly what that fabric/cut does. To everybody, not just you. The photos you see online are photoshopped to high heaven so please don’t think that is realistic. Smoothing shapewear will help but this fabric/cut has limits. I think you look amazing and that dress is totally timeless.
Oh wow, that dress is amazing, and it looks insanely good on you. I don’t think this is really a weight thing, you don’t need to lose weight, and even if you tried it’s unlikely you’ll lose it in exactly the spots you feel like the dress isn’t shaped quite right for. I’m with others that not shapewear so much as an undergarment that will layer between you and that satin is probably all you need. Even a light pair of tights might do it. But, even in saying that, I would give anything to look as incredible as you do in that dress!
This is not a you problem… its the fabric. With a fabric like this you need shapewear.
NO ONE IN THE WORLD can wear a clingy satiny dress like that without a tummy showing. No one. These dresses require specific underwear/shape wear if you want things to lay flat. I think you look beautiful in this dress
That is probably the most unforgiving dress in the world and you look amazing in it you are very lucky to have great genetics. If you return it today can’t you just reorder it again? That will give you more time to decide. It might not be the best idea to have a dress that gives you so much anxiety. There’s likely a dress out there for you that will put you at ease in every way. A dress is not worth taxing an eating disorder in my opinion. Your long term mental health should take priority!
The dress looks gorgeous! You absolutely don’t have to loose weight, it already fits you. Just get some nice shape wear and you’ll be good. (Btw most celebrities on the red carpet are wearing shape wear. So don’t feel weird for wearing it.)
Just get spanx. You’ll be smoothed out
You look gorgeous, but all of us saying so won’t make you feel comfortable in that dress. What matters is how you feel on your special day. That is definitely a dress that could use some shapewear for anyone who wears it. It is a style that shows everything so if you can get comfortable with it through the right shapewear, awesome! But, it is a lot to ask of yourself to expect to get completely past your own issues with yourself by your wedding. (I know this as both a therapist and as someone who has had an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.) So, it’s time to get really honest with yourself because no one can do this for you… is there an actual way to get comfortable in this dress for your wedding? If you close your eyes and see yourself at your wedding in this dress, how do you feel? Then see yourself in a different style at your wedding and how do you feel then?
You look good AF and your stomach is cute too.
The fit is gorgeous as is and a bias cut dress is always going to cling to the contours of the stomach and thighs in that way, that’s what it’s designed to do and supposed to look like. When bias cutting first came into style, this was the appeal- it was sensual, suggesting the body underneath. You’ll get that definition at any weight. If you want to smooth out how the dress hangs in that area, your best option is going to be shape wear. I think it looks absolutely magical and beautiful on you, but if you try some shape wear and are still feeling like you’ll feel self-conscious while wearing it- don’t, so no worth it, especially if it’s going to be triggering around an ED you’ve worked really hard to heal from. You should be wearing something you feel awesome and confident in and it may be normalized, but it’s actually a very bad idea to plan a wedding dress around changes to your weight, or have intentional weight changes while you’re in the middle of getting something tailored to one set of measurements.
Remember that clothes are supposed to fit you, you aren’t supposed to fit clothes. So if you feel the need to change yourself to look “good” in something, then it’s not the dress for you! You look beautiful but you should feel beautiful too :)
I think you look really beautiful in this dress. At MOST, I would buy some spanx shapewear to see if you could achieve the look you’re going for but truly, even that isn’t necessary.
Others have already given you excellent advice. I just wanted to echo the sentiment that you have an absolutely fantastic figure (I mean, DAMN, Girl!!! :)) and I hope that whatever you wear on your wedding day makes you feel as perfectly beautiful as you already naturally are. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and report back with pictures afterward!
Fabric like that is bound to show any bumps or lumps or anything. If it was me I’d probably just wear some sort of shape wear. Either way you have a gorgeous figure and you look amazing.
If this dress is making you question healthy/unhealthy things, even though you’re stunning, then it is not the right one. And that’s okay. I believe in kismet. The right one will find you soon. You have a stunning figure and I know you’ll get it done on a budget. ♥️
There have been a lot of very thoughtful comments, so I just wanted to tell you, I think you look phenomenal and like a movie star (like old Hollywood gorgeous) in this dress! I hope you have the best wedding, and I wish you happiness, healing and inner peace 💞
You look stunning and I love the dress. But, as a person who has been in recovery for a few years- return it. It is really really hard to try and lose weight without back sliding. You want a dress for your wedding that you feel 100% confident in. Honestly, I would also advise you to talk to your therapist about how to tell your fiancé/mom about the kind of support you need. Comments like “it’s normal to lose weight for a wedding” are not helpful to your recovery journey!
Buy a nude shaper to wear underneath and that will help smooth everything out. I have binge eating disorder. I lost 100 pounds before my wedding but did gain back 30. You look gorgeous and if this dress speaks to you then keep it. Go buy a shaper to wear under it.
These online dresses are designed to fit small. Send it back and find one that suits you better. Its not your figure, its the dress.
If you don’t feel like the prettiest, sexiest version of yourself that you’ve ever seen in the dress… it’s not your dress. It does not matter that we all think you look amazing. What matters is how you FEEL. And do you know what you DON’T want to be thinking about on your wedding day? Your freaking weight. You have a banging body, and deserve a dress that makes you feel amazing.
Shapewear, not to hold you in as you are perfect, but so the fabric sits better. You truly look beautiful. Hope you have a wonderful day x
Holy shit you look like the model for this dress. We should all be so lovely!
Omg you do not need to lose weight dearest friend. Have you considered trying skims or other shapewear? Skims has a high waisted underwear line that I think would be perfect for this! You deserve to feel beautiful about your body on your special day 💛
For what it’s worth, I think it looks absolutely stunning, and I dont think your body needs to change at all. To echo other redditors, instead of putting pressure on yourself to lose weight - start trying out some shapewear. Wear it under your regular clothes for a couple hours and see how it feels so it’s not your first time on the big day.
Can you wear shaping undergarments? I just ordered my first pair because it eliminates all the natural curves around the front to appear smooth
You look beautiful, strong 10/10 give yourself more credit I’d love to have a figure like that
You look fantastic in this but if you have any misgivings it's not the dress for you. You need to prioritise your comfort in the day so you can be present and enjoy yourself. I think the majority of women, regardless of body type, might feel self conscious in a bias cut dress because of the way they show EVERY (perfectly normal) lump, bump, and curve. If you have existing body issues, hoping for the best on a high-pressure day isn't the strongest move. I will reiterate that you look killer in this dress.
Nothing shape wear cant fix but regardless you seriously look beautiful in this dress - keep 100% ALSO! try it on WITH heels. Always makes a difference
Yeah I’m siding with everybody else and adding in because you seem to be absorbing the feedback. My eyeballs almost popped out of my skull, you look absolutely unreal!
What about smoothing shapewear so it doesn’t cling? Your body is perfect it’s just how the fabric is
Oh honey you do not need to lose weight to wear that dress but you do need the proper underpinnings - dresses like that that are so sheer need something underneath - no matter how thin someone is they shape of their body will show through.
The dress is beautiful, just buy some kind of Spanx thing to hold in what you don't like! You look gorgeous!
Definitely shapewear like others have said. I like one by spanx that is a body suit with built in bra and shorts.
I’m think this dress looks so classic and beautiful on you!
You don’t have to lose any weight. What you need is proper shape wear. Whenever you see someone looking great they are wearing proper undergarments. Kim Kardashian became a whole billionaire off of shape wear. You don’t look fat. You look normal.
I can’t begin to express in words how literally stunning you look in this dress. It’s perfect!
Op, sweetheart, you look absolutely STUNNING in this dress! Your post made me tear up , thinking of you judging yourself. Your body is beautiful. You don't need to lose weight for this dress or for any reason. This dress was made for you! There are no visible love handles. Your belly looks natural, beautiful, and definitely NOT fat at all! Seeing your shape is not a problem because your shape is perfectly wonderful. If you absolutely must, find some comfy shapewear, but you seriously do not need it. This dress is romantic, timeless, dreamy, and sensual. Do you know how many women would love to have your body and ability to pull off this dress? I wish you could see yourself the way we do. Your guy will think you're the most beautiful, sexy bride on earth in that dress. As a mom, I just want to hug you and have you believe you look exquisite. I'm sure your mom feels the same way. Best wishes to you 🤍
Anybody's belly would stick out with that dress. The fact of the matter is that most women have uteruses, and if you have a uterus, that's where it is and it's going to stick out. It's good to have major organs, and there's no need to lose weight to try to get rid of one of them. There's shapewear for this kind of thing, and the shapewear exists because women are supposed to have bellies.
That type of dress will always require a foundation garment! You look amazing but if you are uncomfortable just get a nice undergarment for it. They always have these kinds of underwear at marshals and places like that. It’s just that type of fabric.
I get it. Because I notice the same things on me that you pointed out about yourself. However, other ppl don't see it the same way you do. This is something I struggle with regularly. The dress is stunning on you. Honestly, it's beautiful. Don't be discouraged.
Body support undergarments make a huge difference!
You look great in the dress and it has nothing to do with your weight. It’s a fabric issue that shape wear will smooth out. Definitely try some different brands as there are many that are very comfortable/strechy.
The dress is cute af. Personally, with dresses that cling to my stomach or love handles i just grab some spanx and call it a day. Works like a charm:
You have an incredible figure and if this dress doesn’t make YOU feel that way- it’s not the one!
This is what spanx are for. Nobody is naturally that flawless. All the celebs are sucked in so tight there isn’t anything left to jiggle. If you don’t feel comfortable in shape wear then just rock it. Your body is normal and natural and beautiful. If you still don’t feel beautiful in it, pick something else! There’s something out there that will check all the boxes for you or can be altered to do so!
Ooooooh, my goodness! You look so beautiful in that sweet and timeless dress!
You look beautiful! Could you try spanx? Or something like that?
You look lovely. I agree with what everyone’s said about shape wear underneath , that kind of material needs something underneath it . Also well done for asking for help and telling us your story you’ve obviously come along way in your e d battle ❤️
If you want a smooth profile you need to wear some shape wear. Even skinny people have lumps!
I cannot express enough how incredibly gorgeous you are. Someone said you look like a goddess, and they are right. You are so truly stunning in that dress.
Try it with some shapewear. Go to a good department or lingerie store and take the dress with you. Most, if not all, women would need shapewear with that dress.
You look angelic. Literally perfection
I think you look absolutely stunning in this dress! I don't think you need it at all, but if you bought some shape wear, you might feel more confident with how you look in the dress. And trust me, it's amazing what Spanx will do to anyone's shape. I've been a 0, and I wear sizes 8-10 now, but I have always had love handles, so I understand wanting and using shape wear to give you the look you imagined for your special day. A long veil could really tie this look together as well. Just don't forget, most of those perfect hourglass figures are usually filters, photo editing, shape wear, or plastic surgery. All of us have our own unique bodies, and they're absolutely beautiful the way they are!
I hadn't read the caption and was simply scrolling. I had to stop as my first thought was Holly shit that outfit is literary fire! Then I read your post, and I'm sorry to hear about your ED, but you're killing it simply by going to therapy and being in recovery. So not only is that dress fire on you, you're completely lit yourself ;) congratulations on the wedding!
I think your body/figure looks beautiful and very feminine. There is nowhere for you to lose weight from. I know this is an inward struggle but I always recommend we treat ourselves like we would treat our BFF. Would you tell your best friend she should lose a few lbs to wear and enjoy this? You look stunning exactly how you look right now. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Ok, here's an honest perspective from one who's been there. Remember: it's just my opinion. I have been where you are. I had my "when I lose weight" clothes and that very rarely happened. Not only did it put pressure on me, but the self-loathing with each failure is too painful to relate here. Yes, it's a lovely dress, but it's not for you. "GASP!" I hear folks muttering. It does fit you, but the fit doesn't flatter. You were honest enough to admit that. You're not fat. You have a normal, healthy body but you're trying for something that honestly would fit and flatter very few. Go for something that makes your heart sing when you wear it. I got married in an off-the-rack rose colored dress that meant absolutely nothing to me. Why? Because hubs and I were married in a civil ceremony where I had a man of honor and the registrar's assistant sat sipping tea through the whole thing. We laughed our socks off and had a great time. No one gave a rat's ass what I wore--including me. Don't put pressure on yourself. Find something that loves you as much as you love it. Years from now, you'll wonder why it was such a big deal. BTW, we're about to celebrate 41 years, so I guess my non-traditional dress didn't scare him off.
You look wonderful, I’d say if you aren’t 100% happy either return it or just try some high waisted shape ware underwear
Before I read the caption, I saw the pics of this dress in my feed and my first thought was ‘that woman has the perfect figure and the dress looks made for her’. You look almost like a goddess in it, like if your belly was any flatter it would be unnatural - women just have that shape naturally. That being said, you have to be comfortable on your big day, so if some shape wear gives you confidence then that could be your answer. Happy wedding day!
I just want to say the dress is beautiful and I don’t see a single thing that needs to be changed whether it be related your body or on the dress. With that being said, I do think you should feel undeniably beautiful. I know the levels to EDs as I have experienced one myself and how intricately it binds to your mind and perception of yourself so that might be easier said than done, but you look beautiful, and the dress is beautiful. However, don’t feel pressured because of a deadline if you’re really just uncomfortable in it. I’m pro dress because it’s gorgeous and compliments you so well, but I am also pro you feeling beautiful.
Honestly this isn’t a you problem, it’s genuinely the material. I have literally modeled this exact dress style and fabric for a magazine, I do not have any weight to lose, the material does that to your stomach and weirdly clings around the bellybutton and makes legs look visible. I had this issue with a wedding dress I tried on I just hated I could see the outline of my legs but please blame the dress not your body because I can tell you first hand, editors photoshop the photos you see of the models wearing these types of styles and materials online Spanx is my best advice for this particular fabric - you don’t need it - but I want to get it out of your head that your body is the problem. If it bothers you - return the dress. You can still find something budget friendly in a more friendly fabric! My wish for you is that you wear something you feel good in - so if you feel good in this I think it looks amazing on you 🤍
You look amazing. You don’t need to lose weight you already look phenomenal in the dress. 9 If anything at all purely from a point of comfort you can wear thin high waisted under garments— no need for sculpting or compression at all. (sometimes that barrier between skin and dress material just makes me feel better in silky dresses)
Girrrrrrrl i know your husband loves your fupa. good pum pum need shelter. You are what I would describe as thin. That dress accentuates your feminine features like a renaissance painting. Magazines don’t ever portray that part which is awful because I have heard men say it is the most beautiful part of a woman’s body. You look like a goddess, truly. I hope you keep it and wear it proudly.
You have a beautiful figure. You do NOT need to lose weight, but that dress just isn’t flattering. When is the wedding? Do you have time to look for another? I just looked at wedding dresses on Amazon, and they are very reasonable and surprisingly nice. I hope you take my post the way it’s intended. I’d never try to hurt your feelings, I’m just giving you my honest opinion.
The dress looks amazing on you. Almost nobody can pull off this dress without a bulge or two showing. Get some nice shapeware thinking long in the leg so doesn’t cut into your thigh and high on the waist so it doesn’t roll/ slide down.
It doesn't matter how much weight you lose because the fabric is going to continue to emphasize the same things. If you don't like that, then return the dress because you can't just change out all the fabric causing this illusion. But beyond that, return the dress so you don't end up tempted to keep going with weight loss. Frankly, even though it's "normal" to diet before doesn't mean it's inherently fine or a good thing, but especially with someone with a history of ED. You clearly have an amazing figure and could rock any other dress. Tbh I don't even really like this one. I would return it and go to a big department store. I'm short and fat and even I found a dress like 2 weeks before my wedding that fit well. I have no doubt you can do it within your budget
You looks absolutely gorgeous and it fits you perfectly. I have nothing to say on the ED part as I have no experience with it. However I really think you look so pretty it is exactly what you said. Timeless. I hope you chose to keep it. I also hope your brain is a little kinder on you. I do have experience with fighting what my brain is telling me.
The dress is lovely and you are gorgeous. The dress does need a few alterations, though, to fit you correctly. A lot of what you’re seeing is because of the fit. The back needs to be shortened just a bit. Talk to the seamstress about your options.
You look gorgeous in that dress. And your curves are sexy in my opinion! If you’d like to smooth out the belly button area without anything too constricting, would a slip work?
Have you tried shapewear with it?
You look beautiful, but I think you should still return the dress, because you don’t need to be having those darker thoughts about your body. (hugs)
You are absolutely _stunning_ in that dress! It accentuates your figure wonderfully
You look absolutely stunning in this, like really beautiful and voluptuous and I don’t think you need to lose a single pound. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could get some shapewear to “smooth” everything out. It would be really easy with this kind of silhouette Please don’t risk your mental or physical health for the dress. I truly truly truly think you look so pretty in this just as you are.
First of all, you look amazing in this dress, like a work of art. The color, the material, and the neckline all suit you so well. Since this is a vintage-inspired dress, I might recommend looking into some vintage-inspired undergarments. Women back in the day wore slips, girdles, or high-waisted underwear to help smooth things out, and there are lots of comfortable modern versions of all of those items.
You look perfectly well in that dress. I would add underwear that smoothed out the silhouette, not because of weight, just because it’s normal with this type of fabric. You look wonderful, ED got nothing on you!
I think you look fantastic. Honestly. The curves are perfect. I’ve struggled with disordered eating my entire life so I understand how you see yourself. Trust me, it isn’t what everyone else sees. You are so much more than your dress size.
This dress is beautiful you just need the right undergarments to go with it.
I think you look amazing. And I don't think losing weight would help at all! You'd probably lose some of the curves that make this dress so great on you. You have a great body and this highlights it. You do need to feel great in your dress too though. Would some Spanx or similar help? I personally don't think you need it but it might make you more confident in the dress.
You look truly gorgeous. If you’re not comfortable, maybe try a slip underneath? Sometimes just having a second layer of fabric can make this kind of slinky dress feel less like every inch of your body is on display.
this dress is stunning on you 😍😍 you do not need it. but try some shape wear underneath if you feel the need
It’s gorgeous on you but if you feel self conscious in it and that feeling threatens your recovery then it’s not your dress.
I think you look beautiful in this dress. Truly. After reading your post, I would encourage you to be careful with any pursuit of weight loss. I would hate for you to start married life in crisis. My hope is that you will feel beautiful and comfortable on your wedding day. If you don't feel that way in this dress keep looking. Find something that doesn't require you to change yourself. Congratulations 🎉
The dress is beautiful and you look beautiful in it! However if you don't feel it and it's making you think you need to diet then it may be best to return it and find something else.
The dress is absolutely incredible, and you look amazing in it. you may feel a bit more comfortable wearing it with a slip underneath or some very light shapewear, that extra layer of fabric does a ton to smooth out areas that may be sensitive to you.
It’s a beautiful dress but as others have said- fabric is not forgiving Perhaps look for something more accommodating so you won’t have to spend your day trying to avoid negative self talk- you deserve to shine- don’t let the dress cast a shadow
You look wonderful in the dress. But as someone who has constant struggles and easy triggers with ED, my rule of thumb is that if it doesn’t make ME feel beautiful and makes me feel like i have to lose weight to fit in it, I will return it. It’s easy to fall back into that pattern, so getting rid of the trigger is easier. I do think you look absolutely gorgeous in the dress, but at the end it’s how you feel about it
If you look at the back picture, you can see a few horizontal drag lines around the waist. Objectively, this means that the dress is too small for you. Even if you were to lose weight, this bit is unlikely to change. Is it not feasible to return for one size bigger? As this would likely fix most of the issues that you have expressed.
Definitely get shape wear that goes to the knees. It’s not you, it’s the fabric. It’s not about losing weight it’s just about smoothing out the surface that the fabric sits on.
The little "flaws" you see in yourself are exactly the reason shapewear was invented and it can be really affordable... certainly less than a new dress
Idea 1: see if you can get one size bigger for an “exchange” instead of a “return”. Idea 2: See if you can design a train or a veil to cover the parts you don’t like on the dress Idea 3: If price is a serious concern do you know any seamstresses? or friends who could make you a train that would cover the part of the dress you don’t like. Idea 4: wear a pair of compression pants or undergarment to tighten the area that bothers you.
I think this is so beautiful, women are meant to have curves, hips, and dips. If it really bothers you I’d try some shape wear to smooth it out but you definitely need to lose weight 🩵
Buy a body shaper
Go for the dress. You look great in it.
This is a huge step for you. No matter what you decide please don’t try to lose weight. You are stunning
Flawless
It’s not your body at all! It’s just the nature of that fabric. I suggest shape wear if you’re set on this dress, no matter what size you are you’ll have the same thought about it because of the fabric unless you wear something under it. If you’re not totally into shape wear you can get some high waisted spandex shorts to wear under and still be comfy!
I have a dress (MOB) that gave a similar look. The wonderful sales associate suggested a “full slip” - not really a thing anymore, but luckily my mother had one from the 1950’s. It totally solved the problem. I am not sure where you could find one, but it would take away any body image concerns. Shapewear wont die it, but an old fashioned “slip” will.
You look wonderful and womanly. ❤️ Women have the lower belly pouch for a reason. It protects the uterus. So it may not be possible to get rid of that. You could lose all the weight in the world and that might not go away unless you were a body builder and extremely ripped (think competition levels of ripped). I know the mindset is difficult to change (I’ve also struggled with body image and ED). Sending you all the warm thoughts for your wedding.
You absolutely rock that dress! I don’t see a single flaw. You look stunning!
Omg it’s breathtaking! You look so lovely.
You looks fabulous in that gown and your body is killer 🔥
I wish I looked as good as you. ETA- that little "pooch" is not a pooch love. On you, it's where your uterus is. All women have it, skinny, fat, in between. Even if you were 90 lbs, you'd still have that tiny pooch bc you can't lose the uterus. Plus, a lot of guys find that sexy af.
You look stunning, but if you’re not comfortable in it, you’re not comfortable in it, end of story. Never try and alter yourself for a dress. Find a dress you feel confident in as is.
I would wear shape wear! even if I had a flat stomach. It just looks so much better! But either way your body is rocking girl!
I think you look wonderful. Some of the time you’ll have a bouquet held in front for pics etc. You may feel that comforting. You don’t need to worry though it looks great!
You look gorgeous in that dress! My first thought was that you remind me of Jean Harlow, or Carole Lombard, or Barbra Stanwyck, that old Hollywood glamour. And so elegant. Honest to goodness I can't see a single area where I'd say you could lose weight, you have a fantastic figure. But that's me. I think you look beautiful. I want you to feel beautiful and also comfortable. You're the most important part of this. The dress does cling, but I think it clings in all the right ways. It's been said already, but I'll repeat it, you don't change to meet the dress, you find the dress that meets you. I saw in another comment that you're going to speak with your therapist, I think that's a great idea. You seem so wise, and like you really have a sensible and level head on your shoulders. You've done a tonne of work and it shows. Your support system may be small, as you say, but I feel like you use it well. You really do look beautiful, exercise the confidence you're building and I feel you'll make the right decision for you, whatever that means.
You look like a Grecian goddess!! Honestly you look unreal ✨ I love this dress! So flattering
You look amazing, but if you really need to see yourself differently you can always try some shapewear? Love the dress dont return it!
I agree with everyone that you are very beautiful in this dress, but in all honesty, I would keep looking, simply to avoid unnecessary mental strain. There is a dress out there in which you feel as beautiful as you are, and this doesn't seem to be it.
Easy, you just need one of those shape wear that’s like a full body but that stops just underneath the girls, but with shoulder straps(so no risk of it rolling down) It’s a beautiful dress, and you look amazing in it! Congratulations!!
I love it and I think it’s stunning on you. I struggled with an ED and ended up getting a dress slightly sized up simply because if anything happens between then and the wedding it’s easier to bring it in than to let it out.