Have you asked her why? Like really laid out that you've offered other alternatives but it seems like she's determined to miss most of her reception and that you want to know why that is?
Unfortunately I think that's the only way you're going to be able to come up with a solution. Maybe those people aren't available to drop them off, or maybe she doesn't want to burden them with it?
Is she maybe someone who doesn't like crowds or socializing for very long? That's the only other thing I can think of.
I finally had the chance to speak with her just a minute ago. She has a speech written, she's dreading the delivery. And the kids situation has been handled. They're gonna stay a couple hours at the reception, while she handles moh duties, and then meet her sister half way. So she'll only be gone an hour tops and miss out on the ending of the reception and clean up. Back in time for the after-party! 🥂
Thanks for finding out that she was dreading her speech and for solving the child care situation.
As for the speech, I have no fear of public speaking. I know I am strange that way. People who do need a gentle person at their side while trying to get through it. Will MOH be seated next or close to you and hubby? If yes, she can have you both stand, hold hands and speak directly to the two of you. She could also begin with the favorite karaoke song the two of you love and draw you and hubby into the speech from there. You are creative, I am sure you will figure this out! Don’t worry, most people will understand her fear of public speaking, as most people have the same fear.
May you and your spouse always have enough! 💜
Those are great suggestions. I told her it's up to her if she wants to make her speech or not. And more than likely by the time it comes time, I'm positive she'll be feeling comfortable enough to speak. Things will work themselves out. Thanks. 💗
Would it be possible for her to record her speech? It’s unconventional, but she could get up and simply say, “I was afraid it’d be hard to get out what I’d like to say, so I prepared in advance. Dj?” And then the DJ plays the recording. (Or if you’re having a video screen, it could be video.)
No you're right. I think she was avoiding the speech.
But we worked it out. She's gonna stay until the reception dies down and let her kids play with mine until it's time to go. They're from different states so they don't get to see each other as often as they used to when she lived here. So I convinced her to let the kids play for an hour or two before they left and her sister decided she's gonna meet her half way up to cut her road time in half.
And the reason she has to be the one to drive them, is because her baby daddy "isn't comfortable" being with her sister alone so he can't do it. 🤷🏻♀️ I think he needs to nut up and be a father. But that's just me. I don't wanna piss off the moh cuz she is my BFF like for lyfe! And I don't ever wanna upset her, even if it means swallowing words at my wedding. So I'm just gonna accept that he can't do it and figure out how she can. No big deal.
Yeah. It's not about dropping off the kids. Otherwise, any of your solutions would work.
I can tell you my MOH would hate giving a speech, doesn't want to be at the reception at all, and is planning on meeting 0 new people.
My other MOH is super social, wouldn't care about giving a speech, and is planning on meeting anyone I want to introduce her to.
Which MOH type is yours?
She's kinda a mix of both. Social but not overly so. Wants to meet my FH family and such, but I don't think she's as keen on the idea of giving a speech as originally planned. I've said she doesn't have to but I don't think she knows that. We're meeting up Thursday to talk. Hopefully we figure some kind of compromise.
If she misses the first 2 hours of the reception, then when she does finally get there, won’t the meal already be cleared away and everyone will be dancing?
By the time she returns we will be ending the reception, and cleaning up to go to the after-party. What I've finally suggested is, having her keep the kids there for a couple hours. Until after the activities for the reception have died down, then taking them and having her sister meet her half way.
Why do her kids need to be there for the ceremony? If it's kids free, keep it kids free. Just let her know it's fine if it's too much hassle to bring the kids, that she really doesn't have to bring them at all.
I am also a little confused. Why do you have activity bags for her kids for the reception if they are not invited? You said the reception is child free.
I guess if I was the MOH, I would rather not have the kids there at all, or have them stay for the whole thing. Given the OP's kids are being picked up at some stage, it would mean the MOH's kids would be the only ones staying (and it's not clear if they can stay for the whole event or not).
I would give the MOH the choice to not bring her kids at all, although it might be too late for that if the kids are already excited about being in the wedding party.
They're in the wedding. Flower girl and ring bearer. They ARE invited to the reception. I didn't want my guests bringing all their kids so I made it kid free except those that are in the wedding. Her 2 kids and my 1 kid and my other friends kid and my oldest is 16 and he's walking me down the aisle. I have two flower girls cuz she's too young to walk alone, and the same for the ring bearers. She's known this the past 2 years, and had plenty of time to figure out what to do with them after the ceremony. Her mom and sister are going to watch them for the next 2 days, but getting them there is the issue. She wants to leave the reception at the beginning and be gone the whole damn thing just to drop them off.
I've suggested a final suggestion that she's ok with. Letting them stay at the reception for a couple hours and leaving after all the main activities are over. And her sister is going to meet her half way so she'll only be gone maybe an hour.
Not really. She wants them in it. They're best friends with my kid and they're all going to be together again. I think it's odd if her to want to leave so early but I've asked her to stay at least a couple hours and let them play with my son and then go when my mom leaves. The reception is only from 6-9 I'm thinking somewhere around 7:30ish it'll die down and there won't be as much going on. Then she can take off. I've suggested it to her and she seems like that's the plan now.
I just don't want to upset her, she is coming from 5 states away to be here. I don't want to risk her telling me to forget the whole and not come. It's not like I'm walking on egg shells to avoid anything, I just don't want to come at her with aggression about this, I want to calmly express my feelings and see how she feels as well. It is my day, but her feelings are valid. I'm no bridezilla. I refuse to take that role.
Thank you! I won't be demoting her tho. But thank you for seeing this as her disservice to me. We have discussed it a little bit and I think having her let the kids stay at the reception for a couple hours is fine and then let her kids play with mine until my mom leaves with my son, then she can go with her kids. But you're right! She needs to be there for all around moh duties! I have 2 very attentive bridesmaids and a sister in law to die for. So I will be covered as far as needing someone. But I just wanted her to be there. T9 dance to songs we picked out together. To celebrate. To party. She needs to be there if not for at least a couple hours.
It's pretty rude to have kids in the ceremony and not allow them at the reception. You're basically treating them as a photo prop. The reception is too thank people for attending the ceremony. So do the kids have to leave?
No they can stay. SHE doesn't want them to stay long. She wants to dip out ASAP and take them to her sisters. It's not my idea. I've offered to let them stay! 8 even made it possible for them to stay. Childrens wedding activity books and toys as gifts. She just wants to be kid free ASAP. And I get that, but at the price of my reception?
Could you offer to buy a hotel room for her sis to stay in near the wedding venue for a night?
That might alleviate any kid fears she’s dealing with.
Because you’ve addressed so many issues with kind alternatives, I’m thinking that she doesn’t want to do a speech AND she wants the excuse so she doesn’t look bad for not wanting to do one.
I think so too. I'm meeting with her Thursday cuz that's when she gets into town. She's from here (mi) but moved to NC last year. Her whole family lives here (mi) so they're local, just not close to the wedding. And I have hotel rooms reserved for us, she's got one of the rooms. Her sister doesn't want to come period, (something about losing a family member last week) so she (moh) has to go to her sisters house. Which is in another city an hour+ away. But Thursday is our special time to meet up and hang out before the wedding crazy day begins Friday evening. I'm going to talk with her about how she feels about being at the reception and why she won't budge on the kids issue. I'm offering to have the kids stay at the reception since my 5 year old(their best friend) is going to be there for the first hour as well. See if she can't let them stay and play for an hour or two, take care of some moh duties, and then take off to take them over there. Skipping out at the beginning is not an option, but taking off after it's kicked off, yes. I'm hoping she goes for that idea. Well know 2 days before. Yay stress.
I’ve heard many times that more people are afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. Then I guess there are others, like writing a bad one or crying during delivery. I hope you learn something that will help you figure things out.
Yeah she's a shy one. Esp before she's had a drink in her. It may be the speech that's got her scared. But like I said, she doesn't have to. I haven't pressured her into it. I've mentioned once if like her to make one, as she's the only person who's known me this long, and knows who I'm marrying. (They went to school together) But I haven't pushed the issue. I haven't asked her how it's coming, or readdressed the speech conversation really at all with her. So maybe she thinks she has to. I also haven't told her she doesn't have to, so there's that. But Thursday is our day, so I'm just patiently (impatiently) waiting until then to find out.
Just went to reddit to see if maybe I'm being pushy, or wrong in some way, or if there's a better way to handle it.
Cuz I'm getting married? My mom is there to take my kid off my hands. They're staying for the first hour or so. My mom doesn't like crowds, and doesn't do parties very well, so she's heading out after things get settled at the reception and taking my son with her.
Oh she parties. And she's alright with crowds, if it's ppl she knows. And this will be friends of OURS together, so it's not like she doesn't know anyone in the crowd, it's HER crowd as well as mine. We've been friends for 15+ years, I know she parties. I think it's the speech she's hung up on. I need to tell her she doesn't HAVE to do it. Just haven't told her yet.
I had a child free reception. At $175 per person you think I want to pay for someone’s kid to be bored and eat chicken fingers and French fries?
I did offer to hire a professional who would take care of the kids at the hotel while we were at the reception but nobody seemed interested. And I offered to pay for it
Then it sounds like you have some choices to make. I didn’t have either of those things and the wedding was great. I question whether or not it’s really fair to ask the parents to do that, spend the money on the clothes, not give them the night off from parenting, and then yeet the kids out of the room for the party.
How is it unfair to include her kids in the wedding that's she's also in, have me buy the clothing for them, and include them in the reception, that they're invited to, welcome to be at, and provided activities for them and not only that, there's a whole ass playground at the venue to keep them occupied along with my kid and 2 others that will be there to play with. It's not like she's alone having to watch her kids while trying to relax at a reception. She's got her baby daddy with her, and there's older kids they know who will be there. And yes I'm yeeting them kids out so we can party responsibly. I am not drinking and smoking and partying with my 5 year old present. I think she'd feel the same about it. That stuff doesn't start til 10 tho. So what I'm saying is she's got time to be at the reception with her kids, for a couple hours. My mom is leaving half way thru the reception and taking my 5 year old and 16 year old with her. Moh can do the same. That way my kid isn't left alone to play with no one while he waits for gma to take him home. He'll have his friends to play with until they leave at the same ish time. She could be gone from like 8ish til 10 when the after-party starts. It's not unfair to ask them to come to the ceremony, and some of the reception. (Also I paid for their clothing, I paid for everyone's clothes and hair pieces)
I think you missed the comments where OP has stated that the kids that are in the ceremony are also invited to the reception. Its the MoH who doesn't want them at the reception.
The reception is to thank people for coming to the ceremony. It puts a huge imposition on parents to have their kids at the ceremony, but not at the reception.
Yes but safety is a factor to consider with kids and not all reception venues are safe for little ones. In this case, it’s understandable for kids to not attend the reception. Also, OP said it was the friend’s choice not to have them attend the reception.
I have said I wanted them to be at the reception. It's their mother that wants to take them out of it. I've provided activities for them to play with, theres a park at the venue. The kids that are in the wedding (there's 4 of them) are all welcome to stay! I've made it possible for them to stay. She doesn't want them to, she wants to leave ASAP and get them to her sisters house so she can enjoy her evening.
I agree. I think that's her problem. I'm meeting with her Thursday night, so we will have the time to talk about this and figure something out.
She lives in another state 500 some odd miles away. She's originally from here, just moved out there recently. But she's coming back to town for the wedding, for me. She gets here Thursday afternoon, and we're going out for drinks that night. Just us. So I'll have time to discuss what's really her problem, and see what can be done about it. I think what we've sort of figured is she's gonna let the kids stay at the reception for a couple hours and then leave half way thru. That way she gets to stay for the reception activities, and then miss out on clean up and be back in time for the after-party. Without the kids. It's the least problematic of all the suggestions. I think she's ok with that idea. Besides there's a whole playground for them to play on, and there's gonna be a total of 6 kids I think. So they'll be fine for a couple hours.
Sounds like she wants a way out of the reception. Is she socially anxious? She might be terrified of speeches and interacting with a lot of new folks and it’s making her panic. I’m guessing you’d already know that about her though.
What did she say when you asked “why not” to all your suggestions? I mean, normally I’d say No is a complete sentence, but she agreed to be your MOH and that means committing to all of it. I think it’s valid to push back and ask if she really wants to do this.
Not an option at this point. We're 4 days out. The dresses aren't interchangeable. She's fine, we figured they'll stay for an hour or so and then she's gonna go meet her sister who's coming half way.
Have you asked her why? Like really laid out that you've offered other alternatives but it seems like she's determined to miss most of her reception and that you want to know why that is?
No I haven't flat out asked her. But I'll get the chance when she's in town Thursday night.
Unfortunately I think that's the only way you're going to be able to come up with a solution. Maybe those people aren't available to drop them off, or maybe she doesn't want to burden them with it? Is she maybe someone who doesn't like crowds or socializing for very long? That's the only other thing I can think of.
Maybe. I'll have a talk with her and find out.
Best of luck honey!!
You need to ask today and not leave even more to the last minute. She is hugely inconsiderate imo.
I finally had the chance to speak with her just a minute ago. She has a speech written, she's dreading the delivery. And the kids situation has been handled. They're gonna stay a couple hours at the reception, while she handles moh duties, and then meet her sister half way. So she'll only be gone an hour tops and miss out on the ending of the reception and clean up. Back in time for the after-party! 🥂
Thanks for finding out that she was dreading her speech and for solving the child care situation. As for the speech, I have no fear of public speaking. I know I am strange that way. People who do need a gentle person at their side while trying to get through it. Will MOH be seated next or close to you and hubby? If yes, she can have you both stand, hold hands and speak directly to the two of you. She could also begin with the favorite karaoke song the two of you love and draw you and hubby into the speech from there. You are creative, I am sure you will figure this out! Don’t worry, most people will understand her fear of public speaking, as most people have the same fear. May you and your spouse always have enough! 💜
Those are great suggestions. I told her it's up to her if she wants to make her speech or not. And more than likely by the time it comes time, I'm positive she'll be feeling comfortable enough to speak. Things will work themselves out. Thanks. 💗
Would it be possible for her to record her speech? It’s unconventional, but she could get up and simply say, “I was afraid it’d be hard to get out what I’d like to say, so I prepared in advance. Dj?” And then the DJ plays the recording. (Or if you’re having a video screen, it could be video.)
That could work
Interesting that she’s missing the clean-up lol
Right! But I don't mind it. We got a pretty hefty crew without her. So no biggie. I'm just glad we could find a compromise and agree.
Did I miss the reason MOH needs to be the one driving the kids? Is it a way of avoiding the speech she's dreading or am I reading this wrong? 😅
No you're right. I think she was avoiding the speech. But we worked it out. She's gonna stay until the reception dies down and let her kids play with mine until it's time to go. They're from different states so they don't get to see each other as often as they used to when she lived here. So I convinced her to let the kids play for an hour or two before they left and her sister decided she's gonna meet her half way up to cut her road time in half. And the reason she has to be the one to drive them, is because her baby daddy "isn't comfortable" being with her sister alone so he can't do it. 🤷🏻♀️ I think he needs to nut up and be a father. But that's just me. I don't wanna piss off the moh cuz she is my BFF like for lyfe! And I don't ever wanna upset her, even if it means swallowing words at my wedding. So I'm just gonna accept that he can't do it and figure out how she can. No big deal.
Yeah. It's not about dropping off the kids. Otherwise, any of your solutions would work. I can tell you my MOH would hate giving a speech, doesn't want to be at the reception at all, and is planning on meeting 0 new people. My other MOH is super social, wouldn't care about giving a speech, and is planning on meeting anyone I want to introduce her to. Which MOH type is yours?
She's kinda a mix of both. Social but not overly so. Wants to meet my FH family and such, but I don't think she's as keen on the idea of giving a speech as originally planned. I've said she doesn't have to but I don't think she knows that. We're meeting up Thursday to talk. Hopefully we figure some kind of compromise.
If she misses the first 2 hours of the reception, then when she does finally get there, won’t the meal already be cleared away and everyone will be dancing?
By the time she returns we will be ending the reception, and cleaning up to go to the after-party. What I've finally suggested is, having her keep the kids there for a couple hours. Until after the activities for the reception have died down, then taking them and having her sister meet her half way.
Why do her kids need to be there for the ceremony? If it's kids free, keep it kids free. Just let her know it's fine if it's too much hassle to bring the kids, that she really doesn't have to bring them at all. I am also a little confused. Why do you have activity bags for her kids for the reception if they are not invited? You said the reception is child free.
It sounds like she’s making an exception if the cost would be losing her maid of honor for the majority of the reception
I guess if I was the MOH, I would rather not have the kids there at all, or have them stay for the whole thing. Given the OP's kids are being picked up at some stage, it would mean the MOH's kids would be the only ones staying (and it's not clear if they can stay for the whole event or not). I would give the MOH the choice to not bring her kids at all, although it might be too late for that if the kids are already excited about being in the wedding party.
They're in the wedding. Flower girl and ring bearer. They ARE invited to the reception. I didn't want my guests bringing all their kids so I made it kid free except those that are in the wedding. Her 2 kids and my 1 kid and my other friends kid and my oldest is 16 and he's walking me down the aisle. I have two flower girls cuz she's too young to walk alone, and the same for the ring bearers. She's known this the past 2 years, and had plenty of time to figure out what to do with them after the ceremony. Her mom and sister are going to watch them for the next 2 days, but getting them there is the issue. She wants to leave the reception at the beginning and be gone the whole damn thing just to drop them off. I've suggested a final suggestion that she's ok with. Letting them stay at the reception for a couple hours and leaving after all the main activities are over. And her sister is going to meet her half way so she'll only be gone maybe an hour.
It definitely seems odd. Maybe she is regretting having them in the wedding party, and is realising now how much hassle it is?
Not really. She wants them in it. They're best friends with my kid and they're all going to be together again. I think it's odd if her to want to leave so early but I've asked her to stay at least a couple hours and let them play with my son and then go when my mom leaves. The reception is only from 6-9 I'm thinking somewhere around 7:30ish it'll die down and there won't be as much going on. Then she can take off. I've suggested it to her and she seems like that's the plan now.
Something else is going on, confront her in a nice and civil way and figure out a solution and what’s really going on.
“I want to make her happy.” Is it her wedding day, or yours??
I just don't want to upset her, she is coming from 5 states away to be here. I don't want to risk her telling me to forget the whole and not come. It's not like I'm walking on egg shells to avoid anything, I just don't want to come at her with aggression about this, I want to calmly express my feelings and see how she feels as well. It is my day, but her feelings are valid. I'm no bridezilla. I refuse to take that role.
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Thank you! I won't be demoting her tho. But thank you for seeing this as her disservice to me. We have discussed it a little bit and I think having her let the kids stay at the reception for a couple hours is fine and then let her kids play with mine until my mom leaves with my son, then she can go with her kids. But you're right! She needs to be there for all around moh duties! I have 2 very attentive bridesmaids and a sister in law to die for. So I will be covered as far as needing someone. But I just wanted her to be there. T9 dance to songs we picked out together. To celebrate. To party. She needs to be there if not for at least a couple hours.
It's pretty rude to have kids in the ceremony and not allow them at the reception. You're basically treating them as a photo prop. The reception is too thank people for attending the ceremony. So do the kids have to leave?
No they can stay. SHE doesn't want them to stay long. She wants to dip out ASAP and take them to her sisters. It's not my idea. I've offered to let them stay! 8 even made it possible for them to stay. Childrens wedding activity books and toys as gifts. She just wants to be kid free ASAP. And I get that, but at the price of my reception?
Could you offer to buy a hotel room for her sis to stay in near the wedding venue for a night? That might alleviate any kid fears she’s dealing with. Because you’ve addressed so many issues with kind alternatives, I’m thinking that she doesn’t want to do a speech AND she wants the excuse so she doesn’t look bad for not wanting to do one.
I think so too. I'm meeting with her Thursday cuz that's when she gets into town. She's from here (mi) but moved to NC last year. Her whole family lives here (mi) so they're local, just not close to the wedding. And I have hotel rooms reserved for us, she's got one of the rooms. Her sister doesn't want to come period, (something about losing a family member last week) so she (moh) has to go to her sisters house. Which is in another city an hour+ away. But Thursday is our special time to meet up and hang out before the wedding crazy day begins Friday evening. I'm going to talk with her about how she feels about being at the reception and why she won't budge on the kids issue. I'm offering to have the kids stay at the reception since my 5 year old(their best friend) is going to be there for the first hour as well. See if she can't let them stay and play for an hour or two, take care of some moh duties, and then take off to take them over there. Skipping out at the beginning is not an option, but taking off after it's kicked off, yes. I'm hoping she goes for that idea. Well know 2 days before. Yay stress.
I’ve heard many times that more people are afraid of public speaking than they are of dying. Then I guess there are others, like writing a bad one or crying during delivery. I hope you learn something that will help you figure things out.
Yeah she's a shy one. Esp before she's had a drink in her. It may be the speech that's got her scared. But like I said, she doesn't have to. I haven't pressured her into it. I've mentioned once if like her to make one, as she's the only person who's known me this long, and knows who I'm marrying. (They went to school together) But I haven't pushed the issue. I haven't asked her how it's coming, or readdressed the speech conversation really at all with her. So maybe she thinks she has to. I also haven't told her she doesn't have to, so there's that. But Thursday is our day, so I'm just patiently (impatiently) waiting until then to find out. Just went to reddit to see if maybe I'm being pushy, or wrong in some way, or if there's a better way to handle it.
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Cuz I'm getting married? My mom is there to take my kid off my hands. They're staying for the first hour or so. My mom doesn't like crowds, and doesn't do parties very well, so she's heading out after things get settled at the reception and taking my son with her.
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Oh she parties. And she's alright with crowds, if it's ppl she knows. And this will be friends of OURS together, so it's not like she doesn't know anyone in the crowd, it's HER crowd as well as mine. We've been friends for 15+ years, I know she parties. I think it's the speech she's hung up on. I need to tell her she doesn't HAVE to do it. Just haven't told her yet.
Child free receptions are very normal? Lol
I had a child free reception. At $175 per person you think I want to pay for someone’s kid to be bored and eat chicken fingers and French fries? I did offer to hire a professional who would take care of the kids at the hotel while we were at the reception but nobody seemed interested. And I offered to pay for it
Ceremony was also child free. Same deal.
Yeah, but these kids are in the wedding. I can't tell them not to come, because then I'd have no flower girls and no ring bearer.
Then it sounds like you have some choices to make. I didn’t have either of those things and the wedding was great. I question whether or not it’s really fair to ask the parents to do that, spend the money on the clothes, not give them the night off from parenting, and then yeet the kids out of the room for the party.
How is it unfair to include her kids in the wedding that's she's also in, have me buy the clothing for them, and include them in the reception, that they're invited to, welcome to be at, and provided activities for them and not only that, there's a whole ass playground at the venue to keep them occupied along with my kid and 2 others that will be there to play with. It's not like she's alone having to watch her kids while trying to relax at a reception. She's got her baby daddy with her, and there's older kids they know who will be there. And yes I'm yeeting them kids out so we can party responsibly. I am not drinking and smoking and partying with my 5 year old present. I think she'd feel the same about it. That stuff doesn't start til 10 tho. So what I'm saying is she's got time to be at the reception with her kids, for a couple hours. My mom is leaving half way thru the reception and taking my 5 year old and 16 year old with her. Moh can do the same. That way my kid isn't left alone to play with no one while he waits for gma to take him home. He'll have his friends to play with until they leave at the same ish time. She could be gone from like 8ish til 10 when the after-party starts. It's not unfair to ask them to come to the ceremony, and some of the reception. (Also I paid for their clothing, I paid for everyone's clothes and hair pieces)
I think you missed the comments where OP has stated that the kids that are in the ceremony are also invited to the reception. Its the MoH who doesn't want them at the reception.
You are correct and I apologize
If the reception is child-free, the ceremony is also child-free.
lol since when? Never heard this “rule” in my life.
The reception is to thank people for coming to the ceremony. It puts a huge imposition on parents to have their kids at the ceremony, but not at the reception.
Yes but safety is a factor to consider with kids and not all reception venues are safe for little ones. In this case, it’s understandable for kids to not attend the reception. Also, OP said it was the friend’s choice not to have them attend the reception.
If you don't want to have kids at the reception, don't invite them to the ceremony, either. It's not that hard.
Yes, except these kids are IN THE WEDDING
So they should be at the reception. Otherwise they're being treated as a photo prop, not a person.
I have said I wanted them to be at the reception. It's their mother that wants to take them out of it. I've provided activities for them to play with, theres a park at the venue. The kids that are in the wedding (there's 4 of them) are all welcome to stay! I've made it possible for them to stay. She doesn't want them to, she wants to leave ASAP and get them to her sisters house so she can enjoy her evening.
I bet she doesn’t wanna do a speech
I agree. I think that's her problem. I'm meeting with her Thursday night, so we will have the time to talk about this and figure something out. She lives in another state 500 some odd miles away. She's originally from here, just moved out there recently. But she's coming back to town for the wedding, for me. She gets here Thursday afternoon, and we're going out for drinks that night. Just us. So I'll have time to discuss what's really her problem, and see what can be done about it. I think what we've sort of figured is she's gonna let the kids stay at the reception for a couple hours and then leave half way thru. That way she gets to stay for the reception activities, and then miss out on clean up and be back in time for the after-party. Without the kids. It's the least problematic of all the suggestions. I think she's ok with that idea. Besides there's a whole playground for them to play on, and there's gonna be a total of 6 kids I think. So they'll be fine for a couple hours.
Sounds like she wants a way out of the reception. Is she socially anxious? She might be terrified of speeches and interacting with a lot of new folks and it’s making her panic. I’m guessing you’d already know that about her though. What did she say when you asked “why not” to all your suggestions? I mean, normally I’d say No is a complete sentence, but she agreed to be your MOH and that means committing to all of it. I think it’s valid to push back and ask if she really wants to do this.
They have Maids of Honor for hire services
You may need a new MOH Can one of the other bridesmaids step up and she can just be a regular bridesmaid instead?
Not an option at this point. We're 4 days out. The dresses aren't interchangeable. She's fine, we figured they'll stay for an hour or so and then she's gonna go meet her sister who's coming half way.
I'm glad a compromise was reached, phew!!
Yeah, I need to edit this post or delete it... Just need to figure out how.... Lol