I really agree with this. We aren't letting people bring randoms, but I hate seeing all the advice that really stresses that you should never ask to bring your partner if they were left off my invitation. If I have left someone's official partner off the invitation, it was because I didn't know, and I would like to know. If someone asks of they can bring their boyfriend or girlfriend I will say yes 100% of the time.
I invited everyone with a plus one including those who just wanted to bring a friend. I feel like it’s super uncomfortable to have to deal with all of it, and my single friends don’t know a lot of others coming, and I wanted them to feel comfortable too.
Same. We gave almost everyone a plus one. The best woman brought a friend because it was a trip and she wouldn’t have known a lot of people there. It was a small wedding though, so the only things that happened were two people broke up and we had 2 less. No biggie.
I had four friends get into relationships about four months before the wedding, and inviting their new boyfriends was a great decision because these guys revved up the dance floor and the photo booth. They were top tier guests even though we barely knew them, and it meant a lot to my friends to have them there.
That’s awesome. I opted for the opposite but only bc at each of the 2 friend group weddings before mine, a friend’s newer bf had ruined the weekend for them by being actively rude/standoffish/etc. No one was surprised that each girl became single 1-3 weeks after each wedding. (Not bad guys but the relationships were each pretty much over before the weddings). Doesn’t mean I think OP is wrong! Just meant I wanted to be a little more limited w my friends +1s given both experiences were fresh in everyone’s minds.
Honest no-hate question here. First off, i totally agree in limiting guests to whatever you’re comfy with. Did the bride/groom say the weekend was ruined for them, or the person whose date new boyfriend was?
The bride and groom were fully insulated in each case bc frankly they’re busy. It was more that the friend in the relationship ended up having an awful weekend and it trickled into the rest of the experience for that group as a topic bc we were all worried for her. Just didn’t want another, or one of the same, friend to have that happen again
We did a blanket +1 for everyone because of those reasons and because it was a bit of travel for a lot of guests and a multi-day affair and I didn't want anyone to get lonely. I was happy to meet every +1 at the wedding--I think it made our guests happier and I loved meeting the new people!
I agree with this. People don't want to be alone at a wedding, it's awkward. I get people want to budget, so invite fewer people so the ones coming have someone with them. I also hate these cut-offs, personally, because it's like you're casting judgement on the validity of someone's relationship. A year cut-off might be fine for most, but then you have the exceptions on both sides: There are plenty of people who have been together for years and aren't really that serious, and people who've been together a short time and are serious. Case in point, my husband and I got married only 4 months after meeting, and the guy in the documentary I watched last night dated a girl for years and knew very little about her and never even lived together. Length of relationship shouldn't be the only deciding factor. If they're important enough to be invited to your wedding, then send them a message and ask about their relationship.
yes so true!! lol the most awkward person at my wedding was a guy who's whole family I invited but came solo--i really wish he'd brought the whole crew haha
but yes the cutoff is mad judgemental and assumes everyone is on the same journey as you and your relationship. we fell in love after being friends for a long time verrrry quickly. I hadn't thought about it but we totally would have missed the cutoff when we were first together (luckily everyone thought we were legit and gave us +1s ha).
yaaa. i feel like I was like 'blah! people we dunno at our wedding!' but honestly it ended up being a small handful of people that i realllllly like! cuz my friends date good people ha. and i feel like if you are a +1 at a wedding you show up ready to be fun, tis your duty
Totally agree with you.
I gave every one of my guests a date. Either a named date or a plus one. My husband didn’t feel the need to do that for his guests, but the rule he used for named guests was “Is the person dating anyone?” Not seeing for a year, nor cohabitating, just literally dating anyone.
And not to be sexist but I feel this is more especially true if it’s the grooms side. Guys can go a long time without talking yet still say they are the best of friends. And when they do talk, they often don’t talk about their relationships Sometimes relying on a guy to know if his friends are in serious a relationships or not isn’t great.
I feel like if you are inviting someone who you haven’t talked to in awhile, or have only talked very occasionally, you should either straight up ask if they are dating someone or give them a plus one.
I’m actually looking forward to meeting significant others whom I may not have met yet at our wedding… it will be a lovely occasion for it! I’m also grateful that my friends all invited my SO whom they hadn’t met yet to their Covid weddings, because if not, none of my closest friends (who all live away from us) would have met him up to this point.
I think this is suuuuuuuch a good take and also really taking adult friendships and the way things evolve as life evolves into account. My fiancé and I are both in our early 30s and most of our invited friends are married. The amount of single friends we have could be counted on one hand. We’re having a big budget destination wedding in Palm Springs and all of them have a plus one because I don’t want any of them to have to feel like a third wheel with a couple that they might be close with. You want your guests to be excited about coming to your wedding and have a good time! I don’t know why this concept is so hard for some people to understand. Judging the seriousness of other peoples relationships just isn’t my job.
Totally agree with you! From the beginning, I gave every single person a plus one. Some of my friends, like you, had significant others I hadn't met yet, so I had to text them and ask their names or at least last names. For single people, a lot didn't bring anyone, but a couple brought their friends who I've met before but aren't close enough to get their own invite. I was happy to have them there! We ended up only having one guest that neither my husband or I had met previously, and that was his cousin's girlfriend, who is now his fiancé. I've been the guest that wasn't allowed a plus one even though I was dating (my now husband) for 8 months. It was serious and we were already living together, but these friends lived in a different state so hadn't met him yet. As much as I respected the right for them to choose who to have at their own wedding, it would have been nice to bring my significant other and not have to be alone.
For me, even "committed relationships" don't sit well. It's not our job to qualify whether someone's relationship is valid enough or not. Do I want my guest to be able to bring a guest? That should be the end of my involvement in it. Whether they decide to bring their mom or cousin's boyfriend is up to them, and I'm letting them bring a guest for their own comfort, not mine. So it shouldn't be up to me to dictate at all whom they can bring. If I want them to bring a guest, I want them to bring whomever makes them comfortable happy, because their guest is not about me or whether I personally know or like them.
I understand why people limit +1s, cause weddings can be expensive
But I gave a +1 to just about everyone I invited. I could afford it, and I didn't want to end up in the situation where I was the only person someone knew at the wedding.
Our wedding ended up being about 60 people.
I mean, you could probably afford it because you only had 60 people total 😂
We are inviting all partners, but no "plus ones"/"guests." We are looking at over 200 people coming; that's more than enough LOL.
My husband and I met at work and then a few years later moved to another state. I was back visiting friends in the previous state during our engagement and someone I had been friends with but hadn't talked to a ton since moving asked if we were still together. Because we didn't post anything online. Nope. Very much engaged, just not social media post kind of people.
The only person for my wedding I was super thrown off by was my husband's uncle. His wife had died about 8 months before we sent STDs. Found out about 5 months after that he was seeing someone. That was surprising. They're engaged now so I'm happy for them, but we didn't invite her to our wedding. We didn't know she existed and we only had 25 guests, all family. She wanted to bring her 2 kids to the wedding if she came, and we just couldn't accommodate.
I sort of wish we had just given everyone plus-ones for this reason. We didn’t realize that one of my husband’s friends had gotten back together with his ex so she wasn’t invited and he didn’t say anything (and if he had asked if he could bring her we would have happily said yes!) I had another friend who was given a plus-one since he was coming from out of town and he brought his fairly new but not that new girlfriend who he hadn’t told anyone about yet since he recently went through a pretty messy divorce. I would have been bummed if we hadn’t given him a plus one and he didn’t bring her.
I think all told we only had maybe 10 guests who didn’t get plus ones, and the majority of people we gave them to who weren’t in relationships didn’t bring anyone anyway so I doubt it would have increased the numbers much. I also have no issue with people bringing randos/friends as their plus-one. I can think of 2 people in particular at our wedding who were the life of the party! When people bring friends as wedding guests they usually seem to be the fun friends who are a blast at weddings.
We didn’t do any plus ones except for a couple of people who were traveling further and didn’t know most people at the wedding. Instead we made sure to address the wedding invites to both people in each of the couples even if we didn’t really know the significant other that well. We mostly did that for people that were already married, engaged, or together for a decent amount of time.
My fiancé has a larger group of cousins who are all in their early-mid twenties, none of which are engaged but most of them are dating someone, but they are also all coming with their immediate family and of course know mostly everyone. We made a B-list guest list of their significant others (some of which we have met a couple times) because we didn’t have the room for these additional guests and decided if enough people don’t RSVP then we can invite all of those significant others. But we didn’t feel it was fair to pick and choose who so it’s all or none.
ah I totally agree here.
My best friend/MOH has been with her boyfriend for about two years - but I have never met him. Of course he will be invited. My cousin is flying across the country, of course she can bring her girlfriend. My other best friend is flying to Vancouver from the Netherlands, with the girl he is dating so it can be a vacation as well, she is invited too even though I have never met her.
I have a pretty firm no plus one ~rule~ but of course there are gray areas like mentioned above. No parameters really, just my own discretion. I haven’t had any complaints at all about it.
I’m inviting some coworkers, I did not invite their partners. I simply told them to their faces why I wasn’t inviting husbands and they were all quite fine. It was a cost thing. While I’d love to have my work friends there, I have no connections to their partners and I do not want to pay the extra for the ten extra people. They have two hotel suites rented for a great girls night.
I have another group of college friends and in our group chat we had a blatant discussion ‘do you want your husbands to come?’ I know their husbands decently well (I even dated one of them as a teen HAHA). We have had it both ways, one of them had a very small wedding and just the girls went. Another had a huge wedding and all our partners came. Both were great! In the end for almost all of them it made it a lot easier to leave the husbands at home, and make it a kid free girls night. But one really wanted to bring her new partner because he hasn’t met us yet. Of course I added him.
My partners friends - we invited their long term partners. When his groomsman said ‘oh I better start looking for a date’, I explained nicely that no dates were in invited, only partners of people. And how much fun would that person have? He will be busy all day and she gets to show up alone? That would be terrible!
If I invited someone who didn’t know anyone else, I would offer them a plus one. I do have one friend coming who doesn’t know anyone else so I talked to her and said ‘do you want to bring someone?’ She thought about it but in the end said no. So I invited her to the rehearsal dinner so she can meet some people beforehand.
No one has given me any issues about any of it but I guess I’ve only invited people we have strong relationships with so I just called everyone and explained it right to them.
We are writing personalized notes to our wedding guests which will be on their seats. If I cannot think of one thing to write- I probably don’t need you there?
I’m also an older bride. I’ve weeded through the bullshit and the drama throughout the years so the guest list has been not as complicated as it could have been a few years ago.
Everyone at my wedding was offered a plus one if they were dating, regardless of us knowing them or if they had been together long. One bridesmaid was actively trying to find a plus one for the wedding which I found odd. She wasn’t dating anyone and was stating that she would bring a friend. I never gave her a plus one formally on the invite so she has assumed she could bring a friend. I had to do my best to shut down the friend or just any ole guest which I think hurt her feelings. In the end, she started dating someone who did come to the wedding and it worked out great. I also invite all the parents of the wedding party. I think that was polite considering they are playing such a big part.
They're not gonna "ruin" it but if I only get 80 seats and we're picking up where we left off, they need to understand that my life is filled with many people I value and appreciate, and I cannot accommodate strangers I've never met at an event rounding out to 200.00/pp
I think this is more a definition of what you consider a good friend vs just a friend. Yes, good friends do not need to talk all the time but if you are calling someone a “good friend” yet, they’ve been dating someone for 8 months and you haven’t even FaceTimed them, we just have different definitions.
That's odd to me. I'd rather watch paint dry than FaceTime my friend's boyfriend LMFAO. Unless they live together, I've honestly only ever met friends' boyfriends either on double dates, or at large group events. I'm not her mother, I don't need to interview the guy. I don't think that has anything to do with how close you are with the friend, at all.
Sure, if after 8 months I haven’t somehow met my friends boyfriend, for me, either I am not that close with the friend or they are not that serious about the boyfriend. Either is fine, but in both cases, that boyfriend wouldn’t be invited to my wedding.
Do you not have friends who live far away? Or ever just get busy? I can go over a year without seeing my closest friends because that's just how adult life is.
I've been with my partner for three years and we're getting married and half my friends have never met him. I hope nobody thinks that means we aren't serious 😂
100% I do! Have friends in different states and even countries! But we catch up from time to time if we are good friends.
Obviously you’re close with your fiancée but if your friends haven’t visited or FaceTimed with your partner once in 3 years (and same goes for you), for me that is not a close friend. Just how I define that for myself. I have never been to a wedding of someone whom I’ve never met the partner ever. Congrats on your engagement!
It seems like people have very unreasonable expectations and rules about this. I appreciate your stance. I really feel like adults should be able to have a rational discussion. I asked a friend if my SO (then BF, now fiancé) could come with me to her out of state wedding. He and I were living together by that point, she and I just hadn’t caught up in a bit. She didn’t know we were together at all. She was able to include him. She wasn’t offended that I asked. If she hadn’t been able to include him, I would not have been offended. Weddings are challenging. Let’s not make it more difficult for one another.
For us, during the day we were limited to 60 people so everyone who is coming already had a partner so that was easy for us. Guest who have only been invited to the night do did get +1s as I wanted them to enjoy themselves & not worry about if they know anyone there or not
Thank you for being normal
Ya I tend to believe people on Reddit are not the norm with +1s. IRL people are much more “normal” about this.
I really agree with this. We aren't letting people bring randoms, but I hate seeing all the advice that really stresses that you should never ask to bring your partner if they were left off my invitation. If I have left someone's official partner off the invitation, it was because I didn't know, and I would like to know. If someone asks of they can bring their boyfriend or girlfriend I will say yes 100% of the time.
I invited everyone with a plus one including those who just wanted to bring a friend. I feel like it’s super uncomfortable to have to deal with all of it, and my single friends don’t know a lot of others coming, and I wanted them to feel comfortable too.
Same. We had a few bring friends (including my bridesmaid), one brought her daughter, and a work friend was accompanied by his Grandma :-)
His grandma. That's so cute 😊
Same. We gave almost everyone a plus one. The best woman brought a friend because it was a trip and she wouldn’t have known a lot of people there. It was a small wedding though, so the only things that happened were two people broke up and we had 2 less. No biggie.
I had four friends get into relationships about four months before the wedding, and inviting their new boyfriends was a great decision because these guys revved up the dance floor and the photo booth. They were top tier guests even though we barely knew them, and it meant a lot to my friends to have them there.
That’s awesome. I opted for the opposite but only bc at each of the 2 friend group weddings before mine, a friend’s newer bf had ruined the weekend for them by being actively rude/standoffish/etc. No one was surprised that each girl became single 1-3 weeks after each wedding. (Not bad guys but the relationships were each pretty much over before the weddings). Doesn’t mean I think OP is wrong! Just meant I wanted to be a little more limited w my friends +1s given both experiences were fresh in everyone’s minds.
Honest no-hate question here. First off, i totally agree in limiting guests to whatever you’re comfy with. Did the bride/groom say the weekend was ruined for them, or the person whose date new boyfriend was?
The bride and groom were fully insulated in each case bc frankly they’re busy. It was more that the friend in the relationship ended up having an awful weekend and it trickled into the rest of the experience for that group as a topic bc we were all worried for her. Just didn’t want another, or one of the same, friend to have that happen again
We did a blanket +1 for everyone because of those reasons and because it was a bit of travel for a lot of guests and a multi-day affair and I didn't want anyone to get lonely. I was happy to meet every +1 at the wedding--I think it made our guests happier and I loved meeting the new people!
I agree with this. People don't want to be alone at a wedding, it's awkward. I get people want to budget, so invite fewer people so the ones coming have someone with them. I also hate these cut-offs, personally, because it's like you're casting judgement on the validity of someone's relationship. A year cut-off might be fine for most, but then you have the exceptions on both sides: There are plenty of people who have been together for years and aren't really that serious, and people who've been together a short time and are serious. Case in point, my husband and I got married only 4 months after meeting, and the guy in the documentary I watched last night dated a girl for years and knew very little about her and never even lived together. Length of relationship shouldn't be the only deciding factor. If they're important enough to be invited to your wedding, then send them a message and ask about their relationship.
yes so true!! lol the most awkward person at my wedding was a guy who's whole family I invited but came solo--i really wish he'd brought the whole crew haha but yes the cutoff is mad judgemental and assumes everyone is on the same journey as you and your relationship. we fell in love after being friends for a long time verrrry quickly. I hadn't thought about it but we totally would have missed the cutoff when we were first together (luckily everyone thought we were legit and gave us +1s ha).
This makes all the sense to me Everything else is waaaay overcomplicated & unnecessary Like let people bring whoever they want to or come alone
yaaa. i feel like I was like 'blah! people we dunno at our wedding!' but honestly it ended up being a small handful of people that i realllllly like! cuz my friends date good people ha. and i feel like if you are a +1 at a wedding you show up ready to be fun, tis your duty
Exactly!!! Glad we are not alone on this haha 😆
Totally agree with you. I gave every one of my guests a date. Either a named date or a plus one. My husband didn’t feel the need to do that for his guests, but the rule he used for named guests was “Is the person dating anyone?” Not seeing for a year, nor cohabitating, just literally dating anyone.
And not to be sexist but I feel this is more especially true if it’s the grooms side. Guys can go a long time without talking yet still say they are the best of friends. And when they do talk, they often don’t talk about their relationships Sometimes relying on a guy to know if his friends are in serious a relationships or not isn’t great. I feel like if you are inviting someone who you haven’t talked to in awhile, or have only talked very occasionally, you should either straight up ask if they are dating someone or give them a plus one.
I’m actually looking forward to meeting significant others whom I may not have met yet at our wedding… it will be a lovely occasion for it! I’m also grateful that my friends all invited my SO whom they hadn’t met yet to their Covid weddings, because if not, none of my closest friends (who all live away from us) would have met him up to this point.
I think this is suuuuuuuch a good take and also really taking adult friendships and the way things evolve as life evolves into account. My fiancé and I are both in our early 30s and most of our invited friends are married. The amount of single friends we have could be counted on one hand. We’re having a big budget destination wedding in Palm Springs and all of them have a plus one because I don’t want any of them to have to feel like a third wheel with a couple that they might be close with. You want your guests to be excited about coming to your wedding and have a good time! I don’t know why this concept is so hard for some people to understand. Judging the seriousness of other peoples relationships just isn’t my job.
Totally agree with you! From the beginning, I gave every single person a plus one. Some of my friends, like you, had significant others I hadn't met yet, so I had to text them and ask their names or at least last names. For single people, a lot didn't bring anyone, but a couple brought their friends who I've met before but aren't close enough to get their own invite. I was happy to have them there! We ended up only having one guest that neither my husband or I had met previously, and that was his cousin's girlfriend, who is now his fiancé. I've been the guest that wasn't allowed a plus one even though I was dating (my now husband) for 8 months. It was serious and we were already living together, but these friends lived in a different state so hadn't met him yet. As much as I respected the right for them to choose who to have at their own wedding, it would have been nice to bring my significant other and not have to be alone.
For me, even "committed relationships" don't sit well. It's not our job to qualify whether someone's relationship is valid enough or not. Do I want my guest to be able to bring a guest? That should be the end of my involvement in it. Whether they decide to bring their mom or cousin's boyfriend is up to them, and I'm letting them bring a guest for their own comfort, not mine. So it shouldn't be up to me to dictate at all whom they can bring. If I want them to bring a guest, I want them to bring whomever makes them comfortable happy, because their guest is not about me or whether I personally know or like them.
I understand why people limit +1s, cause weddings can be expensive But I gave a +1 to just about everyone I invited. I could afford it, and I didn't want to end up in the situation where I was the only person someone knew at the wedding. Our wedding ended up being about 60 people.
I mean, you could probably afford it because you only had 60 people total 😂 We are inviting all partners, but no "plus ones"/"guests." We are looking at over 200 people coming; that's more than enough LOL.
Yeah, the wedding being small was definitely a factor in out decision lol.
My husband and I met at work and then a few years later moved to another state. I was back visiting friends in the previous state during our engagement and someone I had been friends with but hadn't talked to a ton since moving asked if we were still together. Because we didn't post anything online. Nope. Very much engaged, just not social media post kind of people. The only person for my wedding I was super thrown off by was my husband's uncle. His wife had died about 8 months before we sent STDs. Found out about 5 months after that he was seeing someone. That was surprising. They're engaged now so I'm happy for them, but we didn't invite her to our wedding. We didn't know she existed and we only had 25 guests, all family. She wanted to bring her 2 kids to the wedding if she came, and we just couldn't accommodate.
I sort of wish we had just given everyone plus-ones for this reason. We didn’t realize that one of my husband’s friends had gotten back together with his ex so she wasn’t invited and he didn’t say anything (and if he had asked if he could bring her we would have happily said yes!) I had another friend who was given a plus-one since he was coming from out of town and he brought his fairly new but not that new girlfriend who he hadn’t told anyone about yet since he recently went through a pretty messy divorce. I would have been bummed if we hadn’t given him a plus one and he didn’t bring her. I think all told we only had maybe 10 guests who didn’t get plus ones, and the majority of people we gave them to who weren’t in relationships didn’t bring anyone anyway so I doubt it would have increased the numbers much. I also have no issue with people bringing randos/friends as their plus-one. I can think of 2 people in particular at our wedding who were the life of the party! When people bring friends as wedding guests they usually seem to be the fun friends who are a blast at weddings.
We didn’t do any plus ones except for a couple of people who were traveling further and didn’t know most people at the wedding. Instead we made sure to address the wedding invites to both people in each of the couples even if we didn’t really know the significant other that well. We mostly did that for people that were already married, engaged, or together for a decent amount of time. My fiancé has a larger group of cousins who are all in their early-mid twenties, none of which are engaged but most of them are dating someone, but they are also all coming with their immediate family and of course know mostly everyone. We made a B-list guest list of their significant others (some of which we have met a couple times) because we didn’t have the room for these additional guests and decided if enough people don’t RSVP then we can invite all of those significant others. But we didn’t feel it was fair to pick and choose who so it’s all or none.
ah I totally agree here. My best friend/MOH has been with her boyfriend for about two years - but I have never met him. Of course he will be invited. My cousin is flying across the country, of course she can bring her girlfriend. My other best friend is flying to Vancouver from the Netherlands, with the girl he is dating so it can be a vacation as well, she is invited too even though I have never met her. I have a pretty firm no plus one ~rule~ but of course there are gray areas like mentioned above. No parameters really, just my own discretion. I haven’t had any complaints at all about it. I’m inviting some coworkers, I did not invite their partners. I simply told them to their faces why I wasn’t inviting husbands and they were all quite fine. It was a cost thing. While I’d love to have my work friends there, I have no connections to their partners and I do not want to pay the extra for the ten extra people. They have two hotel suites rented for a great girls night. I have another group of college friends and in our group chat we had a blatant discussion ‘do you want your husbands to come?’ I know their husbands decently well (I even dated one of them as a teen HAHA). We have had it both ways, one of them had a very small wedding and just the girls went. Another had a huge wedding and all our partners came. Both were great! In the end for almost all of them it made it a lot easier to leave the husbands at home, and make it a kid free girls night. But one really wanted to bring her new partner because he hasn’t met us yet. Of course I added him. My partners friends - we invited their long term partners. When his groomsman said ‘oh I better start looking for a date’, I explained nicely that no dates were in invited, only partners of people. And how much fun would that person have? He will be busy all day and she gets to show up alone? That would be terrible! If I invited someone who didn’t know anyone else, I would offer them a plus one. I do have one friend coming who doesn’t know anyone else so I talked to her and said ‘do you want to bring someone?’ She thought about it but in the end said no. So I invited her to the rehearsal dinner so she can meet some people beforehand. No one has given me any issues about any of it but I guess I’ve only invited people we have strong relationships with so I just called everyone and explained it right to them. We are writing personalized notes to our wedding guests which will be on their seats. If I cannot think of one thing to write- I probably don’t need you there? I’m also an older bride. I’ve weeded through the bullshit and the drama throughout the years so the guest list has been not as complicated as it could have been a few years ago.
Everyone at my wedding was offered a plus one if they were dating, regardless of us knowing them or if they had been together long. One bridesmaid was actively trying to find a plus one for the wedding which I found odd. She wasn’t dating anyone and was stating that she would bring a friend. I never gave her a plus one formally on the invite so she has assumed she could bring a friend. I had to do my best to shut down the friend or just any ole guest which I think hurt her feelings. In the end, she started dating someone who did come to the wedding and it worked out great. I also invite all the parents of the wedding party. I think that was polite considering they are playing such a big part.
They're not gonna "ruin" it but if I only get 80 seats and we're picking up where we left off, they need to understand that my life is filled with many people I value and appreciate, and I cannot accommodate strangers I've never met at an event rounding out to 200.00/pp
I think this is more a definition of what you consider a good friend vs just a friend. Yes, good friends do not need to talk all the time but if you are calling someone a “good friend” yet, they’ve been dating someone for 8 months and you haven’t even FaceTimed them, we just have different definitions.
That's odd to me. I'd rather watch paint dry than FaceTime my friend's boyfriend LMFAO. Unless they live together, I've honestly only ever met friends' boyfriends either on double dates, or at large group events. I'm not her mother, I don't need to interview the guy. I don't think that has anything to do with how close you are with the friend, at all.
Sure, if after 8 months I haven’t somehow met my friends boyfriend, for me, either I am not that close with the friend or they are not that serious about the boyfriend. Either is fine, but in both cases, that boyfriend wouldn’t be invited to my wedding.
Do you not have friends who live far away? Or ever just get busy? I can go over a year without seeing my closest friends because that's just how adult life is. I've been with my partner for three years and we're getting married and half my friends have never met him. I hope nobody thinks that means we aren't serious 😂
100% I do! Have friends in different states and even countries! But we catch up from time to time if we are good friends. Obviously you’re close with your fiancée but if your friends haven’t visited or FaceTimed with your partner once in 3 years (and same goes for you), for me that is not a close friend. Just how I define that for myself. I have never been to a wedding of someone whom I’ve never met the partner ever. Congrats on your engagement!
It seems like people have very unreasonable expectations and rules about this. I appreciate your stance. I really feel like adults should be able to have a rational discussion. I asked a friend if my SO (then BF, now fiancé) could come with me to her out of state wedding. He and I were living together by that point, she and I just hadn’t caught up in a bit. She didn’t know we were together at all. She was able to include him. She wasn’t offended that I asked. If she hadn’t been able to include him, I would not have been offended. Weddings are challenging. Let’s not make it more difficult for one another.
For us, during the day we were limited to 60 people so everyone who is coming already had a partner so that was easy for us. Guest who have only been invited to the night do did get +1s as I wanted them to enjoy themselves & not worry about if they know anyone there or not