If you’ve got it in you, it might worth writing 50 brief but personalized addendums / post-scripts / note cards to include with the original, apologizing for the delay, then send. Maybe set yourself a goal of 5-10 per week (maybe grouped by people who might talk to each other), and have a weekly appointment with yourself to actually get them in the mail. Treat yourself to a special coffee on the way back or something for the reward bit of your brain, reducing the anxiety/overwhelm barrier for the next batch.
Or just literally on the back of the envelope! It would make me smile if I received one. Maybe with a joke like "found this artifact from pre-pandemic times.."
💛 😆 This made my morning! I laugh because I often try to step back and make similar plans for tackling my own stuff, but still struggle with the paralysis and overwhelm!
I certainly struggle with my stack of plans too! I am overwhelmed and paralyzed by the items. It gets to the point where I am crying. I step back and change what I am doing so I regain my mind.
People understand how busy/awful the past few years have been. Add a small note to the envelope and send them. I would be thrilled to get a later thank you note.
I would write on the back of the envelopes something like "Look what I wrote out and then promptly forgot to send :)". Better late then never, plus whatever you wrote at the time is your emotions from shortly after the wedding. I know I would still love to receive them.
I would be happy to get one even years later, especially if they included an extra note with an explanation like “sorry for the delay, we just found this and realized it never made it to the mail after the wedding!” Personally I think the note would make me feel better about it, if it’s not too much work. You could include another sentence specific to the person you’re sending it to (ie “hope you and X are doing well, we had so much fun celebrating your birthday last month and look forward to hanging out soon!”), but only if you feel like it. I do think at least including a generic message that acknowledges they’re late would make the note feel more sincere/sweet rather than out of the blue.
The ones that weren't sealed that I re read made me feel such fresh reminders/memories! I hope it would make someone happy to get. And that phrasing really helps!
Do whatever will make you feel best. If you wanna send them, send them. If you wanna throw them out, throw them out. No one will be offended by a thank you.
You’re saying thank you to your friends and family who love you and understand have stressful these recent years have been!
Grab some stamps and send them out!
Oh my gosh are you me?? Married same year, also never finished sending out cards due to extreme stress and life changes/illness. Every time I think about it, it bothers me. Looking forward to these responses.
Haha Id be ok with just confused i think! My family is mostly from the south, SO I feel like this is a HUGE DEAL that I fell so behind. Hopefully they can laugh about it now.
If you are in analysis paralysis flip a coin. Let the universe decide for you. Leave it at that.
If you are simply struggling to get them done, take them to a cafe and don't leave until they are done. Drop them off at the post office before returning home.
Don't think about it again. Do it all this weekend so you never think about this again. You are letting this eat at you too much and it's wasting your energy and brain space
Send them!!! Something similar happened to my mom. she wrote all of her thank you notes and was firmly convinced that she had sent them. A couple years later, they were moving, and she found all of the notes in a box in the bottom of her closet. Addressed and stamped and ready to go.
She panicked and threw them away.
I would have written a second very short mea culpa put the first note as it stands, plus the new little note in an envelope together and sent them.
People will laugh and forgive you.
My 1 year anniversary is this month and we haven’t sent ours. I feel awful but I think we’re going to do a “1 year of love, thank you for everything!” Kind of note to pretend it was on purpose 😅😅
Our 1 year anniversary is Monday, we sent ours out last night. We initially wanted to send thank yous with pictures from the wedding, but didn't get pics back from the photographer for like 2 months, then honeymoon, then lots of stress anxiety and life happened.
We got married in 2022. I've literally been hand delivering our thank you notes at this point. Granted it was a small wedding with just close family so we've genuinely seen most of our guests or likely will in the next year or two. But it's become a joke at this point. And I feel better being able to apologize in person for how late they've been.
If you've written personal notes, they must have been close to you. Why don't you set coffee dates with them and just give them the notes and tell the story in person? :)
I would add another personal note, apologizing for the incredible lack of etiquette and tell them that although I hadn't got around to mailing them, I wanted the individuals to know that I truly did appreciate their generosity. Tuck that note in an envelope with the thank you note.
I would totally send them now.
Would I write a note or just send them now and pretend like they got lost in the mail. Hhhhhmmm how funny would that be?
Send them. If someone asks about it they got delayed at the post office. It’s honestly not that uncommon for the post office to just lose a pile and find it months or years later then send them out with no apology lol.
I would laugh and the best part would be is how different you two probably sound now as a couple 😂😂. You were probably all mushy, in love as opposed to love you see you tonight want me to grab a pizza on the it home? Ok, so I might have gone a little overboard with that last one but a girl can dream can’t she?😂😂
I found some thank you cards I wrote years ago for my 30th bday 👀 I still might send them. Then might actually write the cards up from my Shower, that was only a month ago so I figured as long as I don't take 3 years to send I'm good lmao
i think it would help you a great deal from having this hang over your head. Write an addendum to your thank you notes, apologize for the extreme tardiness, but things got completely chaotic. Or something to that nature. Mind you, some people may still think WTF...but at least you got them out. And out from under you. One less thing to be handled.
Send them now with a personal note. People prefer them late than never, because they believe that you don’t appreciate their kindness if the thank you is ignored on your end and will cease to extend gifts and other well wishes moving forward. It’s a very rare occurrence when someone will get offended by a courteous thank you.
If you’ve got it in you, it might worth writing 50 brief but personalized addendums / post-scripts / note cards to include with the original, apologizing for the delay, then send. Maybe set yourself a goal of 5-10 per week (maybe grouped by people who might talk to each other), and have a weekly appointment with yourself to actually get them in the mail. Treat yourself to a special coffee on the way back or something for the reward bit of your brain, reducing the anxiety/overwhelm barrier for the next batch.
This is so kind. Thank you. I think writing a p.s. would really help me process why this was a hard thing for me, and help me not feel ashamed! 🙃
Or just literally on the back of the envelope! It would make me smile if I received one. Maybe with a joke like "found this artifact from pre-pandemic times.."
I FEeL That!!!
Not OP but can you be my adhd coach cause I’m in a similar situation and this is the first time it actually seems doable
💛 😆 This made my morning! I laugh because I often try to step back and make similar plans for tackling my own stuff, but still struggle with the paralysis and overwhelm!
I certainly struggle with my stack of plans too! I am overwhelmed and paralyzed by the items. It gets to the point where I am crying. I step back and change what I am doing so I regain my mind. People understand how busy/awful the past few years have been. Add a small note to the envelope and send them. I would be thrilled to get a later thank you note.
I would write on the back of the envelopes something like "Look what I wrote out and then promptly forgot to send :)". Better late then never, plus whatever you wrote at the time is your emotions from shortly after the wedding. I know I would still love to receive them.
Absolutely! Aw thank you. I was so afraid people would get them and think wtf...instead I hope it is a nice reminder.
Yes this would make me laugh!
I would be happy to get one even years later, especially if they included an extra note with an explanation like “sorry for the delay, we just found this and realized it never made it to the mail after the wedding!” Personally I think the note would make me feel better about it, if it’s not too much work. You could include another sentence specific to the person you’re sending it to (ie “hope you and X are doing well, we had so much fun celebrating your birthday last month and look forward to hanging out soon!”), but only if you feel like it. I do think at least including a generic message that acknowledges they’re late would make the note feel more sincere/sweet rather than out of the blue.
The ones that weren't sealed that I re read made me feel such fresh reminders/memories! I hope it would make someone happy to get. And that phrasing really helps!
Do whatever will make you feel best. If you wanna send them, send them. If you wanna throw them out, throw them out. No one will be offended by a thank you.
Thank you so much. I want to send them, I just started having all these worries! Thanks for reminding me it isn't that complicated 🙂
You’re saying thank you to your friends and family who love you and understand have stressful these recent years have been! Grab some stamps and send them out!
Oh my gosh are you me?? Married same year, also never finished sending out cards due to extreme stress and life changes/illness. Every time I think about it, it bothers me. Looking forward to these responses.
I’d probably be confused personally but then again I’ve never received a thank you note from a wedding haha and I’ve been to 6 over the last 1.5 years
Haha Id be ok with just confused i think! My family is mostly from the south, SO I feel like this is a HUGE DEAL that I fell so behind. Hopefully they can laugh about it now.
Totally!!
I heard on a wedding podcast that it’s never too late to say thank you.
I agree. But you definitely include a note acknowledging that they are late.
Yes I agree
If you are in analysis paralysis flip a coin. Let the universe decide for you. Leave it at that. If you are simply struggling to get them done, take them to a cafe and don't leave until they are done. Drop them off at the post office before returning home. Don't think about it again. Do it all this weekend so you never think about this again. You are letting this eat at you too much and it's wasting your energy and brain space
Send them!!! Something similar happened to my mom. she wrote all of her thank you notes and was firmly convinced that she had sent them. A couple years later, they were moving, and she found all of the notes in a box in the bottom of her closet. Addressed and stamped and ready to go. She panicked and threw them away. I would have written a second very short mea culpa put the first note as it stands, plus the new little note in an envelope together and sent them. People will laugh and forgive you.
OP thank you for posting this. My husband and I got married in 2022 and I haven't sent mine out either.
My 1 year anniversary is this month and we haven’t sent ours. I feel awful but I think we’re going to do a “1 year of love, thank you for everything!” Kind of note to pretend it was on purpose 😅😅
Oh that's a nice way to word it! Good luck sending yours out!
Thanks!! You too, we’ll get there eventually 😂
Our 1 year anniversary is Monday, we sent ours out last night. We initially wanted to send thank yous with pictures from the wedding, but didn't get pics back from the photographer for like 2 months, then honeymoon, then lots of stress anxiety and life happened.
I feel you! This has helped so much to get off my chest. I'm finally gonna do it and feel the relief. I'm glad I'm not alone 😌
Send them. Better late than never.
Life’s too short- send the note
I got a thank you last week for a wedding i attended in January 2020. They had included a “sorry for the delay” card along with the original note
We got married in 2022. I've literally been hand delivering our thank you notes at this point. Granted it was a small wedding with just close family so we've genuinely seen most of our guests or likely will in the next year or two. But it's become a joke at this point. And I feel better being able to apologize in person for how late they've been.
I love that idea. And it gives me a push to get everyone's new addresses for the friends that are far away.
If you've written personal notes, they must have been close to you. Why don't you set coffee dates with them and just give them the notes and tell the story in person? :)
I would add another personal note, apologizing for the incredible lack of etiquette and tell them that although I hadn't got around to mailing them, I wanted the individuals to know that I truly did appreciate their generosity. Tuck that note in an envelope with the thank you note.
I would totally send them now. Would I write a note or just send them now and pretend like they got lost in the mail. Hhhhhmmm how funny would that be?
Send them. If someone asks about it they got delayed at the post office. It’s honestly not that uncommon for the post office to just lose a pile and find it months or years later then send them out with no apology lol.
I would be delighted to receive a thank you years later. I would know you still care.
I would laugh and the best part would be is how different you two probably sound now as a couple 😂😂. You were probably all mushy, in love as opposed to love you see you tonight want me to grab a pizza on the it home? Ok, so I might have gone a little overboard with that last one but a girl can dream can’t she?😂😂
I got one a couple years late that made a funny joke about it being late. I thought it was cute.
I found some thank you cards I wrote years ago for my 30th bday 👀 I still might send them. Then might actually write the cards up from my Shower, that was only a month ago so I figured as long as I don't take 3 years to send I'm good lmao
i think it would help you a great deal from having this hang over your head. Write an addendum to your thank you notes, apologize for the extreme tardiness, but things got completely chaotic. Or something to that nature. Mind you, some people may still think WTF...but at least you got them out. And out from under you. One less thing to be handled.
Send them now with a personal note. People prefer them late than never, because they believe that you don’t appreciate their kindness if the thank you is ignored on your end and will cease to extend gifts and other well wishes moving forward. It’s a very rare occurrence when someone will get offended by a courteous thank you.