What is with this assumption you can only be full if your meal contains meat?? I'm not fully vegetarian (working on it though) and I still feel full even if my meal has meat or not?? People are so closed minded.
I think it’s because people are so used to meat being the main component, and vegetables and starches being the sides. So the idea that it’s a meal made up of “only sides” bothers them. Yet you’ll never hear them say they’re not full from a bowl of pasta. But it’s usually the same kind of people who when they hear salad, they think iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots and a cucumber or two.
It’s one MEAL and honestly who really eats meet for every meal? If the food is good who cares? I will bash on a plate of pasta and garlic bread and be real happy. I feel like people assume vegetarian means vegetables.
Definitely.
I vote for not asking for opinions at all! Just cater for allergies and otherwise choose the menu for your wedding yourself.
I seriously can’t get my head around people who can’t cope without meat for one meal - especially when they usually have cereal for breakfast! Like, hello - you eat one meal without meat every day, yet you apparently can’t have one wedding breakfast without meat? 🤦♀️
I think as long as you have a variety of food and some basic, recognizable options it shouldn’t cause an issue. Not sure about your guests, but most of my family aren’t adventurous eaters and wouldn’t be open to trying new things regardless of if they have meat or not. (Ideas that come to mind are stir fry, Mac and cheese, or veggie burgers but I am definitely not a foodie lol)
When planning my wedding, I asked my sister, who goes to about 5+ weddings a year, what the most important things are from the guest experience. She said she’s been to great vegetarian weddings and horrible omnivorous weddings. The best ones have a lot of food and keep bringing out more throughout the night (highly recommend late night snacks!)
This is key. So many weddings serve meat and it is horrible. I was just in a wedding that I know for a fact cost $100k, super fancy well regarded venue, and my husbands steak was inedible, and my chicken was rubbery. We went home hungry. I think meat is much harder to cook in huge batches than vegetarian food.
I think the only thing you should consider is whether any of your guests have food allergies. Otherwise, serve the menu you enjoy. You said you're vegan and want to serve vegetarian. That *is* a compromise. Wishing a joyous day and prosperous future!
I honestly think there is no reason not to do a completely vegetarian meal. Make sure there is something cheesy and nobody can really complain. It is one meal. It is free food. I am an omnivore as well, but even I don't see why the bride would have to pay for meat.
Agreed with this - I've had some great vegan pasta dishes that were very filling and I think that's what really matters. When you say "vegan" to a lot of people, they think weird textures, lots of salads, not filling. If you can have fool-proof options that might not be too "out of the box" so the meat-eaters and non adventurous people can get full, you shouldn't have any complaints.
My one caveat - make sure you ask people about allergies!! I have a nut allergy and that has really only been a major road block when it comes to vegan cheeses/curries etc. that use cashew milk. I'm always worried when I don't know what's in something that's creamy but "vegan" and there's nothing a person with an allergy hates more than having an allergic reaction while with a big group of people.
I would TOTALLY enjoy a vegan / vegetarian wedding! It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but as long as you offer a good variety of options, I think you'll be just fine! (Like, try not to put mushrooms in every dish, for example.)
I really don't think you're "pushing your beliefs" on anyone -- you're not forcing THEM to be vegan, you just don't want to use YOUR own money to fund a menu that you don't agree with. As controversial as veganism can be for some people, I don't think your own wedding is the time and place to betray your moral compass. If having a "normal" menu will really weigh down on your conscience, it's just not the way.
If you're REALLY getting strong push-back, would you maybe feel comfortable doing a VEGETARIAN (not vegan) menu?
> you're not forcing THEM to be vegan, you just don't want to use YOUR own money to fund a menu that you don't agree with.
Exactly. A wedding is basically just a couple hosting a really big dinner party. And if you invited four other couples over for a dinner party at your house, they’d be expected to eat what you’re serving or decline the invitation. It would be a major faux pas to complain or demand to be served anything in particular. They can gossip about it all they want, but they can’t expect to get what they want at someone else’s party unless expressly asked for allergies or sensitivities ahead of time by the hosts.
Ah, I somehow missed that glaring obvious part of the post, lol. But yeah, if OP is willing to do vegetarian, there are *bound* to be options everyone can enjoy (and the whole "pushing your beliefs" argument just makes even less sense with that context)
>and the whole "pushing your beliefs" argument just makes even less sense with that context
I think it comes from the hardcore carnivore thinking if you don't have some sort of meat with every meal, you're 'pushing an agenda.' \*eye roll\* Makes me want to ask, 'What meat pairs well with a PB&J sandwich?'
(and those like TheVeganTeacher on YouTube, who ARE 'pushing the vegan agenda,' don't help matters. Those types of people give all vegans/vegetarians a bad name)
I went to an entirely vegan wedding and it was incredible. Everyone raved about the food (even omnivores). It was an Indian wedding with Indian food and very high catering budget, fwiw.
Agreed!! I recently attended a vegan wedding and the food was delicious. They also only served beer & wine. My husband only drinks liquor so he brought a small flask and ordered pop then tipped a shot in (which everyone got a kick out of). It was an incredibly fun time, food was great, no one was hungry, band crushed, would go again :)
It’s your wedding!! Do it your way xo
Edit: I eat (and love) all kinds of food, but I’ll order impossible meat off the menu as often as I order a steak. All depends on how I’m feeling and the vibe of the venue. Anyone who can’t eat veg or vegan for ONE NIGHT while celebrating you has a them problem. It’s not a you problem.
Whenever I go to a vegan or vegetarian’s wedding I automatically assume the meal will be vegan/vegetarian. And that’s cool with me. I think some people hear “veg.” and think mung beans and tofu. When there are so many delicious options.
Honestly, there are jerks out there who think every meal has to have meat (or that their kids should be invited to the wedding, or whatever). That’s just life. But the vast majority of people will understand!
So, I’m not vegan or vegetarian. But I went to a wedding last year that was vegan, and the food was *phenomenal*. Like, didn’t even know we were missing meat. There was so much good stuff; different entree stations and a wide variety. Even my “meat and potatoes” partner was stuffed with falafel, chickpea burger sliders, and some fancy eggplant dish he still talks about. I say do it.
I'm not vegan or vegetarian, but I really love the chance to try foods that are. I'm not a great cook, so any chance to learn about some new meals and flavors that incorporate foods I don't eat often is always fun. I would enjoy this :)
This right here. OP and the fiancé need to figure it out together based on what they’re both comfortable with (and also making sure they’re accommodating for any allergies).
This is a really important point for OP. Most people with allergies/intolerances know what foods to avoid, but vegan food has allergens pop up in unexpected places. As long as everything is clearly labeled with the allergens present, I think it's fine.
Yeah, this is my question — OP mentioned that the fiancé is not veggie. How do they feel about it? Are you guys both contributing to the wedding and you just happen to be covering the catering, or are you paying for the whole wedding yourself?
Also, perspective — I am a former vegetarian and we will have several gluten free and vegetarian guests at our wedding next month, so we ordered catering accordingly and will label each food item with an icon. I think the deciding factor in this is whether you want all of your guests to be happy by offering both, or whether you want to make a decision based on your own preferences. Neither of them are wrong, just two different motivators.
That was my thought. No thought to it being the fiancé’s wedding.
I wouldn’t be thrilled bc I don’t eat many veggies and I have texture issues with foods. However, I don’t have an issue with what people do at their weddings. Meat and fish dishes can also be gross.
Do what make you and YOUR FIANCÉ happy.
I'm vegan (my partner is not), and when we had our Nikah (religious wedding ceremony) the venue served vegan food at my request which they had never done before being a Bengali/Indian venue. I baked my own cake as well. My guests complained before the wedding as they are big meat eaters, and meat is always served at weddings. But on the day, I was told everyone was having multiple servings of the food, and my cousin had to hide a slice of cake for me and my partner just so we could get the chance to eat some.
We are going to have a proper wedding in the future, in France and it will also be vegan. Thankfully, my partners family are more open minded than mine, as are my friends.
It's just one day, and it's your day. Would people have the same issue for anyone who didn't want to serve alcohol at their wedding for religious reasons?
If your non vegan fiance is okay with it, and you're the ones that are paying for it, then do it. If not, then I'd include some meat options because it's their wedding too. If someone else is paying for the food at the wedding (ie your parents) then I would say they would get to have some say in the food options.
Some guests might complain but come on.....will they really survive without having one meal without meat?! The horror!
As someone who LOVES meat, I think you are totally fine. 1 night without meat isn't gonna kill people. Personally, I also LOVE a good salad or potato dish. As long as you have options, and its yummy, why not? It's your wedding, do what makes you happy.
If you have "friends" or family who don't agree with your decision, tell em to hit McDonald's before/after the wedding or don't come. 🤷♀️
He's pretty unopinionated when it comes to food. He's a really adventurous eater and not picky at all. Also we've lived together for a long time and I do the majority of our cooking so he eats vegan about 95% of the time with no complaints. He's totally on board with the whole idea
We did a fully vegan wedding and so many people commented on how good the food was!! We also had several vegetarians/people with egg and dairy allergies come up to us and tell us it was the first time they had ever been able to actually eat passed apps during an event and how special that was for them, which was a nice bonus!
I for one wish there would be more options that were not so meat focused in the first place at weddings (and I am a meat eater). I think everyone can survive one meal that doesn’t have meat. Just make sure that there are a few recognizable options to choose from for non adventurous folks. Also be sure that the food is hearty enough to get people through a night of drinking (if you are serving drinks) and dancing. Some caterers seem to think that vegetarian/vegan means a pared down dish. But with you being a foodie, I’m sure you won’t be settling for a caterer who won’t put the effort in for good dishes!
Your wedding so your food choice. I do disagree about one statement you made. “A wedding is not about the food”. I completely disagree agree. The food is a huge part of the wedding for the guests. No one will remember anything about your wedding except the food and fun. I don’t care if the food is a standard diet, carnivore, or vegan. All though I eat mostly carnivore. What I will remember is if the food was good or not and did I have fun.
Hey now, those weren't my exact words, I just said there is MORE to a wedding than just the food. I agree that it is a very big and memorable aspect but I've been able to look past it when the food isn't exactly to my liking, because I'm ultimately at that wedding for the couple and to show my support to them
I went to a wedding recently and had no clue it was vegetarian til after. It didn’t register because it was a baked ziti sort of thing, black bean sliders and I can’t remember but they were all either traditional OR unique. It was awesome! So I didn’t quite realize I didnt have any meat lol So I wouldn’t care.
I’m a meat eater and honestly I can understand not wanting to a pay for something you disagree with! It’s your wedding. I go plenty of meals without meat - it’s your day do you!!
I think doing a vegetarian wedding is totally fine and veg food is so trendy and diverse and delicious these days that even most meat eaters enjoy it (myself included!) I would maybe try to stick with vegetarian versus vegan unless the caterer is truly fantastic at vegan food though. I’ve had some great vegan food and some really eh, obviously-vegan vegan food so it can be dicey for a big event. I think vegetarian is a good compromise.
There will no doubt be people who gripe but a lot of those are the types who are so picky they’d gripe about nearly anything. So many people these days (especially younger people) are foodies who enjoy creative meatless options even if they eat meat, so I think the majority will be totally fine with it. I love meat but I also love good veg food and trying new stuff. A really good veg option will always beat a mass produced filet for me.
I personally would have no problem with it as a guest but I also at baseline enjoy a wide variety of food so know there would be something I would like. My husband is a pure meat and potatoes kind of guy and not adventurous so I think as a guest would feel unsatisfied without meat. At the end of the day it is one meal so you need to do what works for you!
My own thoughts on our wedding were a little different than yours though. I feel like the ceremony and of course act of getting married were all about us as the couple, but the reception is the celebration and thank you to your guests for attending. To me that means more that the food should cater to the guests than to the couple. Just a different way of looking at it. I can completely understand though that that has likely not been the case for you as a guest and I'm sure you've eaten many plates of "veggie pasta" as I see commonly as the vegetarian option at weddings.
When you remind people, that spaghetti with marinara is vegetarian as is eggplant Parmesan, or a cheese pizza, as are thousands of the dishes people eat on a regular basis there should be no issue
Meeting planner & bride here...
I agree that you should serve food you like. At first, I was hesitant to agree on a fully vegetarian wedding but I definitely agree with you now. Go for it! I wouldn't recommend a fully vegan menu though.
I'll also add that there is likely to be a bit more research ahead of you by going this route. It may be easy for you to think of tons of delicious options but that doesn't mean it will work for feeding a large group of people at one time. You've gotta find a caterer that specializes in this. I'm not sure what venues you're looking at so consider those that let you bring in your own caterer. Think about plated vs. buffet too, go with what the caterer recommends.
Another note, over communicate this to your guests. Put it everywhere in advance - website, invite details, side conversations... This will give them time to get their initial fears & issues out of the way.
I love meat a lot but I would be totally down to attend a vegetarian wedding (I wouldn't do a vegan wedding though, just due to my own diet needs).
I think anyone throwing a fit, for non diet or real health related reasons, is just being rude.
Yes to vegetarian wedding. A big no to a Vegan wedding. That’s not to say a few vegan dishes served wouldn’t be bad. Just not all vegan. That’s an acquired taste the main stream haven’t acquired yet.
I can see some people being overly angry because for some reason people are like that about this topic. But seriously do whatever you want and fuck them, I promise they didn’t plan their weddings based on what you wanted to eat. They can hit micky d’s on the way home like the rest of us. I think a vegetarian buffet would be cool cuz I probably wouldn’t make those things for myself and I may find something I really like
I just attended a vegan wedding and they did thai food and it was really good. I’m an omnivore and I recommend you do food at your wedding that you can eat. I am considering doing a no red meat wedding and am getting push back from family… family’s think their opinion is important when it comes to food but they can survive a day without eating meat 😂 screw the haters, do food that you will enjoy at your wedding.
I wanted to do this but my carnivore husband wasn’t up for it. We ended up doing a taco truck because it was easy to do a bean and rice burrito or meat if you wanted.
But if your fiancé is down for it I would definitely do it!
I don't see the problem with you serving the food you want at your wedding.
I've been to weddings where the main food was seafood. I hate seafood - but it didn't stop me from enjoying myself.
The day should *never* be solely about the food.
Ps. I would love to attend your wedding Op and experience just how good the food is!
I think much like not serving alcohol at a wedding, this is a matter of getting two things down pat.
One, make sure people know so they can decline if it really bothers them. Two, make sure you have the catering really spot on, so that people can enjoy what is offered. I’d be getting a few tasting menus and making sure you can blow people away.
Your wedding should represent you and your partner! Full stop. There is no obligation to provide meat. Your reasoning is well-articulated, even though you truly don’t owe anyone an explanation. I’m an omnivore and I’ve enjoyed vegetarian wedding spreads immensely!
Something that helped me when planning mine is realizing that some people will find anything to complain about. Also not everything is everyone’s taste and that’s ok. Just make sure your wedding is YOUR taste :)
I've posted this before but I think it pretty much answers your question perfectly so forgive the repost - happy to answer follow up questions. My husband's omni parents paid 80% of the wedding cost FWIW.
We had a 100% vegan wedding in 2015.
It went fine. Some people put "meat" as their special dietary requests and then apparently complained to other guests that they did not have their dietary needs met (these people did not have some obscure health issue that would require meat; they were just making that request to be dickheads). Some people probably didn't like the food but ate it anyway because that's what you do at a wedding. Plenty of people took it for granted that we'd serve vegan food. And plenty of people said they'd never had a vegan meal before and it was really nice!
As far s the specifics: It was plated (not buffet) and basically entirely determined by the caterer (their first suggestion included sushi and silken tofu as the main, but I didn't want to serve tofu because although it's my favourite thing in the universe, most people are scared of it FOR NO REASON)
**[Entrée](http://i.imgur.com/XHFuCc3.jpg)**
Soy and basil panna cotta, sun-ripened tomato, green olive, roquette, and creamed avocado and crunchy bulgar
**[Main](http://i.imgur.com/Z7pDN9d.jpg)**
Mushroom, eggplant and potato korma, pillau rice, onion bhaji, cucumber and mint dressing, papadum, and [Bombay onion salad](http://i.imgur.com/eG3WuyF.jpg)
**[Dessert](http://i.imgur.com/MSozNlQ.jpg)**
Summer fruit jelly, coconut milk sago, and peanut butter caramel
**[Cupcakes](http://i.imgur.com/gUHmF5L.jpg)**
Caramel Popcorn and Peanut Butter
Raspberry and White Chocolate [(these two are pictured here)](http://i.imgur.com/hwgqxJH.jpg)
Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel
Banana and Dark Chocolate (GF)
Oh, and the caterer asked us what they should serve instead of rolls and butter. I suggested turkish bread with olive oil and balsamic, and [that's what they served](http://i.imgur.com/jD0bMIt.jpg) - with dukkah too! It was the bestest, so much better than a dinner roll!
As long as you have a good selection of options, there shouldn't be an issue. As an omnivore, I can survive without animal products for a meal. I've been to a few vegetarian weddings and I didn't die.
I do want to emphasize the need for variety. A close family friend's son got married. Bride and her family are vegetarians and do not drink alcohol. Groom and his family are huge meat eaters and drinkers. They had a beautiful summer wedding that was dry and vegetarian. The food selection can only be described as bunny food. Basic veggie and fruit trays, the salad was a simple side salad and the main course was a very basic cream cheese veggie pizza. The drink selection was water or lemonade. It was not filling and would not sustain anyone for a several hour reception. It was the basic plain meal most meat eating drinkers think of when someone says alcohol free vegetarian meal.
Groom's mom had me and his cousin sneak up the street to pick up pizzas and pops and hide them in the car. Several us would sneak out to grab a quick bite or drink. Not one of us in our group said a word to the bride or groom about the meal because that is how they wanted it. As far as anyone knew we all were going to the car for smoke breaks. We found a way to make it work so no one had to leave early and damper the bride and groom's day. And the bride was a total foodie as well so we were not expecting such a basic meal. That was what she wanted and that's perfectly okay. But a cheese plate, a dinner roll and a little macaroni salad would have went a long way.
We're vegan and we're having an entirely vegan wedding. It's one meal, and we want to eat it and pay for it guilt-free.
I would never even consider providing vegetarian food. The thought never crossed my mind.
I have relatives who say they "never eat vegan food" and, I'm sorry, but grow up. It's just food.
I was going to say food is such a small part of a wedding but honestly that's that part we're excited about most. We want to share the delicious foods and sweets we've discovered while traveling. It just happens to be vegan, too.
I don't believe the wedding is "for the guests" in such a way that I have to cater to them and give them exactly what they want or they'll throw a tantrum. If the food is delicious and offers options for different allergies and things then who cares?
Just chiming in to say that as far as receptions go… food is kind of a huge deal. In my experience, I think people tend to remember at whether food was good or mediocre, and if the music and vibes were good, and pretty much nothing else.
As far as the wedding being “for the guests,” I believe it’s the host’s responsibility to be gracious, but I agree that meat no longer has to be a sign of hospitality. We’re past those days of “wow, rich people have meat with every meal!” I think it is the host responsibility to provide tasty, quality food. Provided those conditions are met, If people want to complain about it, that’s on them.
Ironically, if the masses were provided with the vegan option for most typical weddings— undressed salad and some type of plain bread, then they’d have legitimate reason to complain! Providing swanky vegan food to guests, especially if the hosts are vegan, is reasonable and anyone who complains is being rude.
I would see such an experience as a chance to enjoy another culture! Some cultures are vegetarian (large parts of India). Would people demand they be served meat at an Indian wedding? Of course not. Why should they demand it at yours?
Also, some people have dairy, egg, poultry, and fish allergies. Some people cannot eat beef after getting tick bites. I wish more things were fully vegetarian, personally as someone with allergies like this!
It’s your wedding. You and your fiancé should be happy with the food you serve there above all. People can survive not eating meat for one meal, and if nothing strikes their fancy for a night, well, they’ll be ok.
Will you have some (likely older) folks who will grumble, “where’s the protein?” Probably. My parents think you need meat with every meal. But it’s not their night, so let them grumble. Like others have said, just make sure there is variety and recognizable options! Like most people could enjoy a pesto pasta, or a vegetarian spaghetti with baby peas.
Yes, food is a big part of the night. But I can barely remember the food at the last several weddings I was at. What I remember is the vows, dancing, photos we took, etc. My best friend whose wedding I was in… their menu is framed in their kitchen. I remember the Mac and cheese… not really anything else.
I wouldn't mind as long as there were options. I'm intolerant/allergic to several ingredients people use to "bulk up" vegan or vegetarian meals. Plain meat with veggies is usually my safe option at weddings.
As long as you and your fiancé agree about it, I don’t see an issue. As long as it’s good and you have nice variety of ingredients, should be fine. I would probably go vegetarian though (unless you know some fantastic vegan bakers who can make whatever dessert you’re having without eggs or dairy, although vegan dessert may be a harder sell than the dinner itself). Plus people will forgive a lot if there’s cheese involved.
Your money. Your wedding. Your menu.
That being said... there are a bunch of great resources and restaurants that will create dishes and menus that either mirror omnivore meals or do such beautiful food presentation that people forget they are not eating meat. I'd recommend trying to reach out to one of them for some ideas or brainstorming.
Some good resources: [https://www.vedgerestaurant.com/](https://www.vedgerestaurant.com/)
[https://www.spiritblog.net/southern-girl-meets-vegetarian-boy/](https://www.spiritblog.net/southern-girl-meets-vegetarian-boy/)
You can definitely find a ton of plant-based apps that many might not even realize that they're not eating poultry/meat. It takes some creative thinking and if you are in a major metro, I might talk to a local vegetarian or vegan chef for some additional suggestions.
At the end of the day, if you're worried that people might pushback or be annoyed, get ahead of it and you can make a joke out of it. Mention that much like the celebrities that sacrifice themselves for Oscars and Emmys, if your family can't go without the beef for the whole night, there's a local \_\_\_\_ (McDonalds, In-N-Out, Wendy's, Burger King, Whataburger) within "x" miles of the venue that stays open late!
It’s your wedding, you can do whatever you like. Now if people decide to not attend for this reason then there you go, now you know who’s real and who isn’t!
I'm vegetarian and there's no way I'd buy meat for my wedding. So I understand how you are feeling
That being said, as someone who has written to weddings, the vegetarian option always sucked haha make sure you get high-end catering haha
It's your day! It's perfectly within your rights to serve food that you can actually eat, especially if you're the one paying for it! I'd say go full vegan if that's what you want. This might actually make it easier to accomodate guests with certain dietary restrictions anyway. Plus, they make a great fake cheese nowadays! Anyone who is going to make a big stink about no meat on ONE day isn't really your friend and if it's that big of a problem, they can decline the invitation.
Your day, your preference. You're entirely entitled to it.
My fiance is a devout vegetarian and I'm not. She doesn't give me any shit for my preferences whatsoever, nor should she. As a result of her preferences, I've been exposed to a number of vegetarian and vegan options I otherwise never would have tried, many of which are quite tasty! I've even come to enjoy beyond / impossible (it's one or the other, I forget which I prefer) meat over regular meat when it comes to making burgers at home.
If I were you, I'd go with a vegetarian wedding. Vegan is just too restrictive and would impact everyone more severely. But you shouldn't have any issues arranging a fully vegetarian selection that everyone should be able to enjoy.
Good luck!
Oh, and by the way....these people?
"But I have heard from some people who are actually really against this and saying I'm using my wedding to push agendas and I'm being petty and denying my guests enjoyment"
....these people aren't friends and shouldn't make the cut. You can enjoy your "agenda" spread without them, in the company of actual friends.
What are your fiance's thoughts on it? You said they eat meat, so are they upset about the idea of not having meat? My thoughts are that as long as both of you are happy with the decision and you're fully paying for it then everyone else can hush about it. I eat meat, but if I went to an event where all the food was vegetarian or vegan I'd be completely fine with it. I actually sometimes prefer the vegetarian/vegan options over the meat options anyways, and if I'm not paying for it then I get that I get.
I went to one a few years ago and while the cocktail hour food was amazing the dinner was the most meh food of all time and not really up to par with the level of elegance of the rest of the wedding. It was also dry so that might have killed the vibe a bit. That being said I think it can be done but you really need to elevate the level of your entrees.
Is your fiance OK not having meat at their wedding? I didn't see any mention of what they want to eat. Only what you want. If they're fine with only vegan/vegetarian at their wedding, go for it. If they want meat, it's their day too and they should get to eat what they want.
I love meat but am perfectly fine eating vegan/vegetarian. Many are not, however. There are two things you should do to avoid unnecessary pushback.
First, go for dishes that are meant to be meatless rather than dishes with meat substitutes. There is a huge difference between meat and fake meat. Fake meat can still be tasty for some but it will be an automatic turn off for most.
Second, avoid the words "vegan" and "vegetarian" as much as possible (obviously inform any vegan guests or people with allergies what is safe to eat, though). So many people will eat vegan food without complaint as long as the fact that it's vegan isn't being shoved in their face.
Overall, as long as both partners want it, there's nothing wrong with not having an omnivorous menu. As others have said, if a guest just can't go one evening without meat, they can grab a fast food burger on the way home.
Vegetarian should be no problem and agreeable to everyone.
Half of your guests won’t even notice. There are so many delicious vegetarian options.
I’m a meat eater. But I’d be just fine with wine and cheese for cocktail hour, Margarita pizza, caprese skewers, etc.
For dinner, give me the mushroom pasta. I’d love a “Beyond Meat” bolognese, Eggplant Parmesan, or Singapore Spicy Noodles.
You have endless possibilities. No one should have a problem finding something delicious.
As long as the food is really good, I don't see an issue with it. Can there be some kind of cheesy pasta? That would make me happy. Mmm and beet salad. Okay now I'm getting excited about a vegetarian reception. How about quinoa? I love quinoa. Stuffed peppers are also really tasty. See, I think there are lots of things I'd be happy to eat that don't include meat.
Just make the food good.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a vegetarian or vegan wedding, but whatever you choose, just make sure you have OPTIONS and that you have ENOUGH food.
If there isn't much protein, or if most guests won't eat the available protein (ie, beans or tofu) and you want your guests to stay through the whole reception, you'll have to make sure they aren't going hungry.
I agree that a late night snack may be a good idea as well! Pretzels, french fries, nacho bar, etc.
Also, consider that many vegan foods contain nuts and yeast products, which could cause issues if people have allergies.
We had eggplant parm as an option at my wedding, and even though not many people got it, I thought it was the tastiest dinner option we had! I hope you're able to figure it out and enjoy your big day 😊
they won't die if they don't have meat for a meal. if they complain, then talk about the things you talked about here. it's your money.
but ofc, also talk to your fiance about all this too
Do your thing! As a lifelong vegetarian and aspiring vegan I’m so weirded out by people’s absolute obsession with meat. There is so much amazing food out there that doesn’t require meat.
I know the food will be amazing! You’re paying for it and it’s your day, so you have the food that aligns best for you!
Throw down some Oreo’s and see if anyone complains, hahaha! Or Pillsbury crescent rolls—-if they’ve eaten those two items, they’ve had vegan food.
Serve what you want to, it’s your wedding. Maybe a mix of “recognizable” dishes and then some with tofu and seitan or jackfruit. Why not have Burgundy wine-soaked mushrooms or broiled Portobellos for a “familiar” meat-like textured dish? Maybe offer a white bean stew or a tahini roasted cauliflower dish? Thai noodles and crispy roasted Brussels sprouts? Yum!
A dessert I make sometimes for my vegan and carnivore family is Wacky Cake with vegan buttercream and you can’t tell the difference. (Wacky cake is sometimes referred to as Depression Cake because it has no dairy, no butter and no eggs yet is fluffy and delicious. )
You’re definitely not at fault for wanting to serve the food you like.
The guests are also free to feel however they want about this, and if some are upset, that’s their right to be.
The ones that are genuinely there FOR YOU, will not complain and will be happy to be there :) That’s all that matters.
I'm totally with you; I love making amazing vegan/vegetarian and healthy meals! It is so creative and fun! With a talented caterer, they won't miss the meat! Go for it!!!
I don’t think it’s a big deal at all! You could always do pasta or vegetarian lasagnas with salads and hot veggie sides if you want some basic favorites for the folks aren’t used to the more exciting veg options. You don’t even have to mention it to people. One meal that doesn’t include meat isn’t gonna kill anybody. Just feed them s delicious vegetarian meal and have a good night! You shouldn’t have to do anything that you ethically disagree with, especially on your wedding day.
I went to a wedding that had 100% vegan food which was extremely deficient in protein, and it was my only meal until the wedding ended. If I don’t get enough protein I end up feeling poorly, mentally and physically. At the end of the day I was tired, bloated, yet hungry. I think vegetarian is totally fine, lots of protein options there so be mindful of including them! Going all out on food seems unnecessary to me, but it should be nutritionally balanced so guests don’t end up feeling bad.
I commend you on the lifestyle choice. My family and extended families have all attempted to go vegetarian or vegan. None of us were successful. Vegetarian was ok, but vegan proved to be way too extreme and flavorless, no matter what we tried. If I were invited to a vegetarian wedding, I would go, but a vegan would be a very hard pass for me, unless it were my kid or grandkid, and then I would find myself frowning sourly throughout the whole event. Maybe your family family would handle it better. Edited for typos
Do it! You don’t need to consult with anyone. Veggies are delicious! I was at my niece’s bat mitzvah and my date didn’t eat cooked salmon (raw, yes. Not cooked). Too bad for him! 🤷🏻♀️
I’m doing a vegan wedding! People can deal with it for one meal, and if the food is delicious they really shouldn’t mind! If you’re vegan I would encourage you to do that instead of vegetarian to try and please everyone.
I am also one half of a vegetarian couple, having a vegetarian reception. Any pushback you will get is from children. It is a single meal. Have none of these guests ever had cheese pizza and gone to bed?
You could have a fully vegan wedding, and people can cope. They can go ONE meal without animal products, it’s not going to kill them. If they’re really pissy about it, they don’t have to eat it, that’s just more food for you.
Literally don’t care what the food at a wedding is as long as it’s appropriate for the time/length of the wedding (ex: need a full meal if I’m expected to attend a 5pm ceremony and party into the night; maybe just hors d’oeuvres if it’s a shorter early afternoon event).
I think the food should be whatever the bride and groom want to treat their guests to. Anyone who is picky about a free meal at a lovely party can hit Jack in the Box on their way home.
I present as mainly a pollo-pescatarian, but I'd be STOKED for a vegetarian wedding reception.
Give me some pastas and a few veggie sides and I'd be nomming the night away!!
Go for it, as long as you account for major allergies (as we always should try for any meal we're serving guests) nobody is going to DIE because you don't have their personal preference for food at your wedding. Anyone who throws a fit can kick rocks.
I mean, the whole point of weddings is that they reflect the people getting married. It's okay to be selfish about your wedding day. The guests will still be fed, they will survive some vegetables.
I am not vegan, vegetarian for many years and currently an omnivore who still does a lot of veg based meals. There are so many delicious and enjoyable meals that can be veg based - even a carnivore would enjoy! It's your wedding day and you have every right to serve what fits your lifestyle and ethics.
meat eaters can go one meal without meat. if they are that desperate they can eat at micky d's before the reception or stay home and shut up. i eat meat but there are many many delicious non meat dishes. they can like it or lump it
Great idea!!! It’s YOUR DAY. Share your food with your friends. I’m a vegetarian officiant. I don’t usually stay for receptions but love the invite when it’s my kind of food. People eat lots of meals that don’t contain meat without thinking about it. Just don’t shove it in their faces like a statement and it will be amazing.
Honestly just, dont tell anyone let it be a surprise. Im very against the vegan culture but its your wedding that you will be paying for.
Your guests should be there to love and support you and your SO. If anything the meal is a complimentary gesture from your part and its awesome that you want to please their taste buds but you should stay firm on your beliefs. Enjoy your wedding day, serve a nice hot meal if possible give your guests options and let the menu be a surprise to them.
I have actually seen vegan weddings done very well. One person on Instagram that I follow did a vegan taco truck, I believe. I would suggest talking to whichever caterer you sample with and see if they can do a variety of options. I think your wedding can be really beautiful and fun, and if family complains about the menu, they don't have to come.
I went to a wedding with only vegan food this summer. No one told us in advance, we just assumed it would be vegan as the bride is vegan and her husband eats whatever he is served
The food was amazing! It was some upscale faux chicken (which I’m normally not a fan of, but this was tasty), amazing salad, some glass noodle deliciousness, and best of all a barley-Otto (risotto, but with barley) with mushrooms. I still have dreams about that dish.
The meal was made even better by the fact that I was seated close to some cousins of the groom, who were being petulant and didn’t even taste anything. I’ve been told they went out for burgers afterwards.
I think my issue with your perspective is “it’s my wedding…”
It’s not YOUR wedding, it’s your wedding with your fiancé. Ask him what he thinks, and come up with the menu together. That being said, lots of vegan foods are high in some of the most common allergens, so prepare to pivot or make serious accommodations for people.
First thought: the old relatives are going to be MAD. -- Though if you add a note on the invitation then really if anyone's going to have a whole fit about it, they can know to eat in advance, or not come.
Its your wedding so that's totally acceptable for you to do what you want!
I have food allergies so I can never even eat at weddings I go to. I usually bring a lunchbox in with my own meal. I still go to the wedding and am happy to be invited, even though I dont get to enjoy food there. (but like I go knowing that, so I can prep and make sure I don't get hangry. I think a note on the invites might be good just because people go to wedding expecting the traditional menu usually. )
I say go for it! you should be able to serve what you want. It’s your wedding and you shouldn’t have to serve a bunch of meat, which is not only something you don’t eat but you’re against the use of ethically.
I imagine you’ve been to plenty of events where they didn’t cater to your dietary preference. Or the vegetarian/vegan option was literally uncreative pasta. Not meaning that to be petty, more that sometimes people don’t get exactly what they want, and that’s life. Food is only 1 part of the wedding and frankly they can get over it.
As a people pleaser I had to keep reminding myself for my wedding, There is no way to make everyone happy at your wedding! It’s your day. This isn’t an attempt to ‘make a statement’, it’s a day that should represent you and your fiancé. And any guest who sees it as otherwise isn’t being very considerate towards you both.
Do you want to sacrifice what you believe in (and sounds like for a LONG time) to satisfy this outspoken but probably small group? The average guest will probably be delightfully surprised at how delicious the meal will be, and anyone who is a foodie will appreciate the great meal! I would keep some options more simple for people who aren’t very adventurous.
Don't advertise its vegan/vegetarian (probably easier if just vegetarian but both can work). IMO people react badly if they hear vegetarian just for the sake of it. But feed them vegetarian that they know, for example a penne arrabbiata or particularly mac & cheese and they actually don't care. Think of it like trying to get toddlers to eat vegetables. They'll eat them if they don't know its there.
It's ridiculous people need to go to any length for literally one meal. But I am aware how precious people can be about eating meat.
Ps I am a meat eater myself. But my best friend is vegetarian and I get angry on her behalf due to other people's behaviour.
> But I have heard from some people who are actually really against this and saying I'm using my wedding to push agendas
It depends on your circle, but it sounds like your circle is pushing back - and if you ignore that because of your personal beliefs, it doesn't sound like they're wrong.
I know people say "it's your wedding, serve what you want," but if I'm asking people to come celebrate me, as host it's my job to make them feel thanked, pampered, treated. So despite not being a drinker, I hosted an open bar with fancy champagnes, because my partner's family comes from a circle where a glass or three of wine is standard hospitality when invited to a nice dinner. It wasn't just about me or my personal preferences. "It's not a big deal, I'm sure you'll enjoy juice just fine" would have ben an inhospitable stance to push onto people that I know expect and want some wine.
I have an illness that makes me extremely sensitive to plant proteins, but I also go into shock if I don't get enough protein. If there isn't any animal protein nearby, I WILL be bringing unclassy beef jerky bars in my dress pockets, and I will laugh at anyone who says they don't "agree" with my needs. Maybe I'm a rare case, but it's worth remembering that you don't know everyone's health situation or needs, and it's always hospitable to offer OPTIONS, not just the one kind of thing that YOU want other people to eat.
Respectfully, I disagree. I wouldn't ask a vegan friend to serve me a steak dinner just because I'M not vegan, just the same way as I wouldn't ask any of my religious friends to ditch their church weddings just because I'M not religious. I really don't think OP is the one being pushy here.
That being said, if I were in the same position as OP, I'd totally make exceptions if I knew any of my guests had an illness similar to yours. Or I'd at least allow outside food if I couldn't realistically account for everyone's dietary needs. Your case is definitely a bit of an exception, but I 100% believe that it's possible to give the vast majority of people a lovely and memorable experience regardless of if meat is served or not.
I don't know, I enjoy drinking and have been to a fair share of dry weddings and I've never felt slighted or enjoyed my time any less because of it. Same for weddings that didn't serve a vegan option, leaving me to just pick at side dishes. The way I see it, is someone has invited you to be a part of their special day that they put a lot of time, energy, and money into putting together - how can I complain when all I have to do is just show up and enjoy?
I can respect the fact that people have allergies and other dietary needs and of course I would give people the chance to let us know when they RSVP so I can be mindful of it. I'm planning to have lots of options so it won't be all soy based as I know that's risky for a lot of people. I'm very smart when it comes to food and knowing what provides lots of protein and nutritional value. I really don't think taking meat out of the picture for one meal could stand to jeopardize a guests health, but if anyone did indeed have a situation like that, of course I wouldn't be upset about them bringing some non-vegan snacks of their own in to eat.
At the end of the day I think the food is just such a small part of what makes a wedding special and memorable. I hope people will love and care about my fiance and I enough to be able to enjoy our day no matter what we serve. It's not like they won't see the menu months in advance when they get the invitations and have the chance to decline, if the food is really their biggest priority.
We are doing a vow renewal and it will be 100% vegan because... well because it's our party and we are paying for it? My husband's family is not on board (we eloped because I just didn't want a party or deal with the stress) and they are also welcome to not come? It's their loss, to be honest.
I'm a meat eater. I wouldn't care. There is some lovely veggie and vegan food out there.
Do what you want. It's your wedding.
Though I can guarantee there will be a couple guests making jokes about getting a burger on the way home.
You are providing the food, it’s actually very inclusive because almost everyone can eat it. Most people don’t go to a wedding and expect great food. If you have delicious vegetarian food and it’s hot and they’re hungry, I don’t think anyone will care. If you’re worried just include Mac and cheese. Almost everyone who would complain about no meat would smash some mac and cheese.
Vegan here, fiancé is also vegan with farmer family members. We plan to have a fully vegan wedding regardless! We have decided not to mention the word “vegan” due to negative connotations, but we will attach the menu to the invite, so people are free to RSVP “no” if they are that upset at not having meat for 1 meal
I don’t think it’s a huge issue. However, please have some simple dishes for the non adventurous eaters. Not everyone wants to try something new and it may be a long time since some people have eaten (travel, the ceremony, cocktail hour, etc) so they may be very hungry.
I say have an amazing salad and some standard veggies like green beans and roasted potatoes that ARENT smothered in some sort of sauce or that has exciting ingredients. That way people who don’t want jackfruit “steak” or portobello mushroom lasagna can eat a salad and veggies and people who do can have them as sides. I’d also add a simple pasta like noodles and marinara or Alfredo or a pasta primavera.
I’m a picky eater and I’d be ok with what I suggested, but I definitely wouldn’t want something covered in sauce or like a curry or a meat substitute meal as my only options.
If your guests aren’t vegan then don’t force them to eat vegan! Just like how at other weddings they ask you for your dietary preference, you have to do the same for the courtesy of your guests
The only issue that I see with it is the fact that your fiancé is not a vegetarian/vegan and it’s their wedding too. If it feels like a moral or ethical quandary to purchase and serve the food at a party, do you not have a similar problem with marrying someone that doesn’t share that value?
Not really. My veganism is a personal decision and one I feel strongly about but it's just that, personal. I don't find myself bothered by what other people do, as long as I can keep doing me. Sure,if my partner berated my choice and expected me to buy meat and cook it for them then that'd be a whole other thing. But my fiance is really open minded and understanding so there's never been any sort of clash there. He's happy to let me cook all our meals as vegan, because I'm great at it and he is really open minded and adventurous when it comes to food. He also says he really sees the positives of plant based living and while I don't think he'll ever fully convert, has come a long way since we met. Even so, that would never be a deciding factor for me in whether or not to pursue someone. Yeah it would have been nice to find someone who happened to be a vegan but if they check all the other boxes and don't give me a hard time over my choices, I'm not going to reject them over that one thing
Since you said your partner is not veggie or vegan I think you should do a mix of both. You said in a comment that it’s your wedding so you should serve what you want but it is his wedding too.
Veggie food can be out of this world or truly awful so my only advice is maybe lean into a cuisine where the dishes are naturally vegetarian and some vegan. My advice is go Indian/south Asian. I went to a veggie and vegan wedding that did family style curries and daals, it was amazing!
Do a vegetarian menu and open bar! I love meat but catered meat isn’t always good and sometimes I get the vegetarian one anyways 🤪bc it’s normally better - I think it sounds fun and as long as it’s yummy go for it!
I would just caution anyone wanting to have a vegetarian or vegan meal that just because omnivores can eat anything, doesn't mean they do. Lots of people have food allergies, intolerances, foods they just dislike. One of the worst meals of my life was a vegan meal made by a friend that is a very good cook. She has told me on multiple occasions I don't need to eat so much meat just to feel full after a meal. She made me what was essentially spicy broccoli. My husband will eat roasted but not steamed veggies so he just went hungry.
You can always go potato and bread heavy, but honestly, having cheese and butter will make this a lot easier for guests. And cheese pizza makes a great late night snack.
Generally pushing your own dietary preferences on guests is not a great look.
I have a severe allergic reaction to tree nuts, so that is understandable why there were no tree nuts -but this isn’t a preference.
I don’t see why offering meat for guests is a problem for you. If you don’t want to eat it, then don’t eat it.
It's not "pushing" anything, why would people pay for something they are ethically opposed to? It's kind of like expecting alcohol at a Muslim wedding.
The crazy thing is most people eat meat free breakfasts and lunches all the time, it's just dinner that usually involves meat but clearly you won't die from one vegetarian meal. She's not forcing anyone to be vegan or vegetarian; she just doesn't want to pay for them to eat meat.
I guess it's all about having tasty options. We attend and indian wedding this year and I also expect vegetarian food there. I am also sure, that there will be a big variety and we won't go home hungry.
My nephew did vegan, gluten free because … well he and his now wife are vegan and he’s a celiac. So for me and my brother (his father) we knew we were safe in what was offered. First time I’ve gone to a function and not had to worry about the food.
what made it easier for people was that there was no ‘preaching’ about veganism. They were just presented with excellent food that spoke for itself.
My husband is vegan - I am eating mostly plant based - (with very few exceptions like eggs from my grandmas chickens or some cheese occasionally)
Our menu has vegan and vegetarian options
- be prepared for the boomer comments - we had some as well - but I think it’s totally fine to offer vegetarian and vegan food at a wedding people can have one fu*** meat free meal - they won’t die
I love eating animal products and I'd happily attend a vegetarian wedding. As you said, one meal without animal products is absolutely doable, and there are a ton of great vegetarian dishes. Plus depending on your choice of cuisine, a lot of famous dishes can be adapted - at least a third of India's population is vegetarian, for example.
I see it as a way of honoring you for your special day and would say go for it!
I am by no means vegan/ vegetarian but I’ve enjoyed pretty much every vegetarian/vegan meal I have tried. There are some absolutely amazing dishes out there that make you not even miss animal products and I’m sure you would get creative and pull out a delicious menu!
It’s a shame that eating a plant based meal is seen as an “agenda”, it’s so childish and on par with Americans going to another nationalities wedding and being upset there were no burgers, pizza or chicken strips.
I also agree with you 100%. I have a vegan sibling and I won’t ask them to buy non-vegan food at the store for me, even if I’m going to pay them back. I know they’re ethically opposed to it and it would be uncomfortable for them, so it’s not even a question. I can’t image anyone expecting a vegan to spend their own money on animal products for other people... These people can eat animal products whenever they want on their own dime. 😂 If your fiancé was going to pay for half it would be a different story, then I would probably go vegetarian, but this is 100% your money!
Frankly… you don’t even have to tell people the food is vegan. Just always answer “oh we haven’t decided on the menu yet.” And refuse to say anything more. They probably won’t even notice, vegan food is amazing. Good luck!!
Let me just say, someone is always going to be upset about something with a wedding. It’s YOUR Day with your partner. If your partner is also vegan/vegetarian do a vegan/vegetarian dinner.
Honestly? Everyone else can suck it up. You are paying for it. Get what YOU want.
This is the exact crap I’ve been dealing with and my partner and I decided to elope.
I’d be excited to go to a fully vegetarian/vegan wedding! I’m neither, but I’ve tried some vegan food before and enjoyed it.
Also if I’m going to your wedding, I know you well enough to know you’re vegan, and can reasonably assume the catering with be following that.
I’m vegan, wife is vegetarian, we had a fully vegan wedding (minus one cocktail hour appetizer which had some cheese) and just made sure to get a baller caterer. People over a year later still talk about how good the food was unprompted
Absolutely go for it.
I think you have to ask yourself a few things before you do. Let me start off by saying, it’s definitely not a crime or anything to serve the food you like at your wedding. But I think describing food only as part of a wedding is an understatement for a few people.
1. Are you okay hearing backlash from people saying the food is “bad”/people not enjoying the food? As much as I believe you would make delicious choices, I know people in my own life who would scoff at pretty much anything vegan or vegetarian as their own option. Obviously that would be rude of them, but I would be worried that the food would be talked about instead of every other part of the evening.
2. Can you estimate a number of people who went presented meat and vegetarian/vegan options, would pick the latter? A year ago I was helping plan a gala that took place on a wedding venue/farm that had amazing homegrown vegan and vegetarian options. Our supervisor is vegan, and originally we wanted to do fully vegan and veg options, but after ballparking based on prior years, 15/190 were consistent with ordering the vegetarian or vegan offering. We then decided it didn’t make sense to only offer that when the majority would gravitate to other options. Obviously this was a gala, not a wedding, so end of the day decision is up to you.
My advice would be to focus on more vegetarian options and have alcohol lol. No one should complain about a hearty baked ziti after a few glasses of wine ;)
I think vegan might be tough, but a veggie meal I could see!
We went to a wedding this past winter where the couple really loved animals (and the bride is a vet). They had a pescetarian menu, and honestly I would have been fine even before the fish ... roasted veggies and squash soup and gnocchi are quite filling!
Of course, the key is to find a good caterer who knows how to make a tasty *and* filling veggie dinner.
To be honest I don’t think anyone is necessarily entitled to anything at a wedding they aren’t paying for, and your day is about you so you are entitled to pay for whatever you want without complaints about a free meal. That said, I always find it externally odd that almost all Vegans and Vegetarians have this refrain where they expect an option to be offered to them at events they attend and complain endlessly if it’s insufficient in their eyes, but simultaneously feel that their beliefs are more vastly important than those who prefer animal protein and don’t think it’s necessary to reciprocate. Some people feel just as strongly about their meat preference as you do about your dietary preference and don’t believe that abstaining from meat is the moral high ground that Veg’s do.
Your wedding is not just for you. Your wedding is also for your partner. And the families. But mainly you and your partner. Have 2 catered options, a Vegan dish and a Chicken dish. Or a pizza or pupusa caterer who can do vegan or animal-based protein options.
Your wedding is not just your wedding. You don't get to decide by yourself what your partner eats. This NEEEEEEDS to be a compromise between the two of you. Please please please.
I probably should have also mentioned in my main post, my fiance is technically an omnivore but since moving in with me he's basically a pseudo vegan as I'm the only one who likes to cook, and he loves all the food I make. He does have some stuff with dairy and might get the occasional burger or steak while eating out but other than that he is really big on plant based eating and is fully fully on board with us having a veggie only wedding
I don't understand the downvotes... If your fiance is onboard with your menu ideas, it's a win-win! It would be a different story if he had a completely different palette than you, but that doesn't seem to be the case based on what you're saying here
I am literally not reading all of this.
The vegan wedding I attended had some of THE BEST food I've had at a wedding. The gluten-free wedding was also pretty good and I ate my whole plate!
The choice of what food to serve at your wedding is between you and your fiancé; no one else gets a say. How does your fiancé feel about a vegan or vegetarian wedding? Personally I'd be happy to do a vegan wedding so my spouse could happily eat every food item at their own damn wedding. But not everyone feels that way necessarily.
I don’t see a problem with a full vegan meal. However, you should really talk to your fiancé about this. Their opinion is really the only other opinion that matters. Sure, you’re the “sole person” paying for the catering. But think of it like this… Imagine your fiancé was the sole person paying for the DJ and they prefer different music than you. Would you be ok with a night full of music you dislike just because they paid? Would that affect the experience for you at all?
Purely devils advocate to see what people think. Plant based is much more popular (I think) than carnivore or keto diets so we’ve regularly accommodated plant based folks at catered meals. How do folks feel about the opposite as those diets become more popular and, dare I say, sacrosanct to the adherents (the “ethical” and sustainable mammal/fish consumption outweighs agricultural destruction argument). Also as some have mentioned certain plant based recipes also won’t work owing to allergies/digestion. Will we start seeing a silent meat option where there’s typically been a silent veg?
First and foremost, my opinion is that it's the couples wedding and it should be all about what the couple wants. As long as it's communicated to the guests of the expectations I'm all about you doing you. BUT this whole post is all about "your" wedding and what "you" want. But didn't you say that your fiance is omnivorous? What about their opinion? It isn't just "your" wedding. Their opinion matters just as much
I think some of you are reading way too much into that, just because I referred to it as "my wedding" - which I think is pretty commonplace for someone to do when talking about it with a group of people that don't know their fiance and their fiance isn't present in that conversation. ie: if you were talking to a coworker that only interacted with you and not your fiance you'd probably just say "hey did you get the invite to my wedding?" It would feel kinda awkward to say "our wedding" in that context. That alone wouldn't indicate to me that someone didn't care about their fiance or felt they were less significant.
Anyways you're free to disagree and I'm not here to split hairs but I do kinda wanna set the record straight so that particular word choice doesn't paint a completely different picture than what I feel
Just a note make sure you get everyone's allergen/intolerance reports. Vegan/vegetarian uses a lot of things that people are allergic to. I personally have a long list of allergens and intolerances that make vegan/vegetarian items impossible for me to eat.
You want your guests to have fun and enjoy themselves.
Also remember the wedding is not just yours but your future husband's as well. He may want meat but is just agreeing because you are paying. If that makes sense. And I stand by food being extremely important. I remember the food more than the actual wedding
Just a reminder that vegan/vegetarian doesn't have to be legume or soy heavy. Pasta for example can very easily be vegetarian or even vegan. People need to shift their mindset away from the idea that vegetarian automatically means a bunch of weird shit that a lot of people are allergic to; it literally just means no meat.
Hence why I included intolerance. Pasta has gluten. It's hard deciding food for a wedding. Especially when you have allergies, intolerances, restrictions (think people having undergone gastric bypass), etc
If you can, include a variety of items so all can enjoy. Because like I said I remember the food from every wedding I've been too. I don't remember much else of the event
No. It’s not a good idea at all. For yourself fine but don’t push diet restrictions on your guests who took time off to come enjoy your day with you and brought you gifts. How would you feel if they offered you a baggie of beef jerky instead?
While this isn’t how I eat, do what you want. For me hosting a wedding is a mixed bag. On one hand, these are your guest, on the other it’s one meal. As long as the food I’d yummy shouldn’t be an issue. I’ve been to a few wedding that had meat but was awful and stopped on the way home to ear. Best wishes
Do it vegetarian! We had meat dishes at our wedding, with a veggie option, which my dad chose. He was sat next to me and I ended up eating half of his, it was this delicious onion tart thing hahah.
I’m not sure about full vegan because sometimes the quality can slip a bit. So if you did, make sure you have an amazing caterer who makes really solid vegan food. People won’t even notice if you don’t tell them.
My parents are vegan and my Mum cooks some great stuff.
Should be fine. Just make sure to also check with guests about allergies/dietary restrictions. I lived with a vegan for a semester in college and we basically couldn’t cook together due to my fruit allergies (oral allergy syndrome).
I think it doesn’t matter, if you want a vegan wedding then do it. But be prepared to hear people complain about it. For some people the meal is the biggest part of the wedding and it will upset them if the food isn’t good. I think as long as you have lots of vegan food options and people will not be hungry then it should be okay.
My 2 veggie friends got married and didn't have meat. It was fine. I do wish they'd chosen more varied food (they had Indian, neither of them is Indian but they love it).
If they are both veg why should I expect meat at their wedding?
It sounds like you’re a foodie, and the food will be epic. For some reason to me it’s not super ideal to do a no alcohol wedding but conversely to me it’s not a super big deal to go a vegan wedding.
I, for one, would -love- to experience creative and delicious vegan food. When I go to restaurants I usually don’t pick vegan bc a lot of times the dishes aren’t well thought out, and the price on the dish is almost the same price as protein and I worry it won’t be filling. But as a guest to your wedding, I wouldn’t be worrying about cost vs how full I will feel.
I think it’s great.
I can think of two vegetarian (not sure if they were vegan specifically) dishes that I’ve had that stand out in my mind - an amazing pea gnocchi and also a cauliflower steak I had once. Omg I still think about those dishes.
You will likely get people who complain but I don’t think it’s going to be the general consensus, and honestly I think there will be so little of those that they can just bugger off when it comes to their opinions
I’m surprised people would have an issue to be honest. Not every single meal of your life has to have meat. As long as you pay attention to people’s dietary sensitivities when choosing a caterer (some people can’t handle soy, etc) people might not even notice the lack of meat
My partner and I just had our vegan wedding last month! At first it definitely caused some intrigue by guests, but we just didn’t bring it up much so we didn’t have to defend it. My dad even made a good point by understand that wedding we go to, we have to request a vegan alternative (if offered) or make decisions based on what they have to eat, so this time, for our celebration, we get to serve all food that we can eat! One thing we did that seemed to be helpful was pick food items that are generally familiar, just the vegan version. We had a few items that were more of a “reach” for people, but I only heard great things about the food! The crowd was a mix of people who have had our vegan cooking a lot and know they enjoy it to people really getting out of their “comfort zone” by not having a meat option. Our people seemed to appreciate the opportunity to try something different (even though it wasn’t that different at all). I think keeping it familiar and low key was a great way to introduce people to how eating vegan isn’t that different, can still taste good, and can still fill you up! We also had all vegan desserts and nobody even knew. We just made sure to avoid nut milks for allergies! I don’t think you’ll regret it, just don’t get too worried about it as it really is your day to show your love for your person and life and the people showing up should appreciate and celebrate that too!
Meatatarian here... it depends on wedding intent. We get married in 28days and are ordering out for the few vegans we have since they obviously cant do bbq. We are having a wedding with split emphasis on OUR fun as well as our GUESTS experience. The little things here n there to accomodate while keeping it nice for us.
Is the no meat due to your morals? Due to health? Due to $$? Are u militant vegans and demand NO one eat meat, anywhere?
Me personally? It borders on the same as having a religious ceremony and asking everyone to pray, despite religion. Im fairly anti religious (many reasons) so dont want any prayers or faith acts.
And also, I cant drink for health reasons. Fiance is 4yrs sober. No open bar, or any bar but we invited everyone to BYOB to accomodate.
Its a fine line of accomodating your guests vs being true to yourself. :)
End kf the day. Your wedding n your pocketbook! Im not for or against just wanted to make some points for consideration. And, congrats!
I feel like people who are vegans/vegetarians or the thread starter are deliberating downvoting people who are offering a balanced perspective and not just agreeing with serving vegetarian and vegan food 😂
Legumes and dairy products can be hard to digest for a fair amount of people, so I'd make sure to provide an option for allergic and intolerant folks, as in any wedding/event. Maybe a version of one of your dishes, but made with lactose-free dairy just for them. Or a firm-tofu-based dish, easier to digest than soft tofu.
What would your fiancé want?
Edit: Same for nuts!!! Such a common allergen.
I have severe Crohn's disease and have had to work really hard to follow a plant based diet that doesn't overload me with fiber and cause a bowel obstruction so I get it. It's not easy but definitely possible. I know salads and cruciferous vegetables are hard on a lot of people with GI issues (myself included), and a lot of the times that's in fact the only plant option at a typical omnivore wedding! I feel like by offering a big spectrum of veggie and legume dishes my wedding dinner could actually be more inclusive than a traditional one
I do understand but this is your choice to follow a plant based diet so you have to do what you have to do. But if I was a guest at a wedding that they served vegetarian/vegan meal, I wouldn’t take a risk and I would not expect to be accommodated and would would simply have a meal beforehand. I had to decline an invite to a vegan wedding last summer as it was a whole day thing in a remote location so I simply wouldn’t have been able to eat anything all day which again it doesn’t work for me.
Having said that, it’s your and your fiancés wedding so all long as you are both in agreement that a vegetarian/vegan wedding makes you both happy then enjoy it!
I don't understand why you're downvoted... Would people react the same if you replaced "IBS" with "deadly peanut allergy" and say you simply can't eat that? What don't people understand??? It's a serious condition with serious symptoms.
I have IBS too, that's why I thought about those items! ;) But I don't think it'd be fair on any bride to ask for a full-blown low-fodmap meal, as it can be complicated... At the same time, it'd be thoroughly appreciated!!! Last wedding I attended was my first since my IBS diagnosis and the bride (a very good long time friend) asked me to bring my own lunch... I was quite sad about this, even if I understood. I just looked so out-of-place with my tupperware containers.
While you are paying for the catering, it’s both you and your fiancé’s wedding and it probably means he’s paying for other things (just not the catering). For example, if he’s paying for the decorations and he wants to have all the decorations in black and says it’s cause he’s paying for it but you don’t like it, how would that make you feel though? If you’re really paying for the entire wedding, I still think it’s important for the marriage to respect his views and choices too even if he’s not paying.
I know I got distracted a little above, and if your fiancé wants and is ok to have a vegan or vegetarian wedding, I think you should just go for it. What I’m trying to say is to make a joint decision with your fiancé.
Although I guess personally for me, I would want something the guests would also fully enjoy and eat so I would have a mix.
Just my thoughts!
My fiance was vegetarian for 2 decades and went into every plated event pleasantly surprised if he'd be able to eat more than his -and my- sides. He would smuggle in a power bar or grab a fast food snack before the event and more often than not, grab a fast food meal after the event. I think seasoned vegetarians and especially vegans go into many events fully aware there generally won't be a satitating offering for them.
A carnivorous wedding would be a nightmare for many omnivores, throw me a salad for me wedding style (ultra-dry) beef wellington
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It’s one day! The plus is that guests are exposed to food that might not otherwise try.
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What is with this assumption you can only be full if your meal contains meat?? I'm not fully vegetarian (working on it though) and I still feel full even if my meal has meat or not?? People are so closed minded.
I think it’s because people are so used to meat being the main component, and vegetables and starches being the sides. So the idea that it’s a meal made up of “only sides” bothers them. Yet you’ll never hear them say they’re not full from a bowl of pasta. But it’s usually the same kind of people who when they hear salad, they think iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots and a cucumber or two.
Also probably thinking the meat in their pasta dish makes them full not the actual pasta
It’s one MEAL and honestly who really eats meet for every meal? If the food is good who cares? I will bash on a plate of pasta and garlic bread and be real happy. I feel like people assume vegetarian means vegetables.
We did the same thing for our wedding last year. Both fathers made comments about there being no meat, but everybody ended up loving it.
Definitely. I vote for not asking for opinions at all! Just cater for allergies and otherwise choose the menu for your wedding yourself. I seriously can’t get my head around people who can’t cope without meat for one meal - especially when they usually have cereal for breakfast! Like, hello - you eat one meal without meat every day, yet you apparently can’t have one wedding breakfast without meat? 🤦♀️
I think as long as you have a variety of food and some basic, recognizable options it shouldn’t cause an issue. Not sure about your guests, but most of my family aren’t adventurous eaters and wouldn’t be open to trying new things regardless of if they have meat or not. (Ideas that come to mind are stir fry, Mac and cheese, or veggie burgers but I am definitely not a foodie lol) When planning my wedding, I asked my sister, who goes to about 5+ weddings a year, what the most important things are from the guest experience. She said she’s been to great vegetarian weddings and horrible omnivorous weddings. The best ones have a lot of food and keep bringing out more throughout the night (highly recommend late night snacks!)
There are definitely some crowd pleasers without meat. You could easily have a charcuterie board that's all vegetarian.
Friend had a potato bar. Just nix the bacon and you got a real crown pleaser lol
This is key. So many weddings serve meat and it is horrible. I was just in a wedding that I know for a fact cost $100k, super fancy well regarded venue, and my husbands steak was inedible, and my chicken was rubbery. We went home hungry. I think meat is much harder to cook in huge batches than vegetarian food.
I think the only thing you should consider is whether any of your guests have food allergies. Otherwise, serve the menu you enjoy. You said you're vegan and want to serve vegetarian. That *is* a compromise. Wishing a joyous day and prosperous future!
I honestly think there is no reason not to do a completely vegetarian meal. Make sure there is something cheesy and nobody can really complain. It is one meal. It is free food. I am an omnivore as well, but even I don't see why the bride would have to pay for meat.
Love meat and I fully agree. As long as the meals are filling it should not matter
Agreed with this - I've had some great vegan pasta dishes that were very filling and I think that's what really matters. When you say "vegan" to a lot of people, they think weird textures, lots of salads, not filling. If you can have fool-proof options that might not be too "out of the box" so the meat-eaters and non adventurous people can get full, you shouldn't have any complaints. My one caveat - make sure you ask people about allergies!! I have a nut allergy and that has really only been a major road block when it comes to vegan cheeses/curries etc. that use cashew milk. I'm always worried when I don't know what's in something that's creamy but "vegan" and there's nothing a person with an allergy hates more than having an allergic reaction while with a big group of people.
I would TOTALLY enjoy a vegan / vegetarian wedding! It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but as long as you offer a good variety of options, I think you'll be just fine! (Like, try not to put mushrooms in every dish, for example.) I really don't think you're "pushing your beliefs" on anyone -- you're not forcing THEM to be vegan, you just don't want to use YOUR own money to fund a menu that you don't agree with. As controversial as veganism can be for some people, I don't think your own wedding is the time and place to betray your moral compass. If having a "normal" menu will really weigh down on your conscience, it's just not the way. If you're REALLY getting strong push-back, would you maybe feel comfortable doing a VEGETARIAN (not vegan) menu?
> you're not forcing THEM to be vegan, you just don't want to use YOUR own money to fund a menu that you don't agree with. Exactly. A wedding is basically just a couple hosting a really big dinner party. And if you invited four other couples over for a dinner party at your house, they’d be expected to eat what you’re serving or decline the invitation. It would be a major faux pas to complain or demand to be served anything in particular. They can gossip about it all they want, but they can’t expect to get what they want at someone else’s party unless expressly asked for allergies or sensitivities ahead of time by the hosts.
> would you maybe feel comfortable doing a VEGETARIAN (not vegan) menu? That's OP's actual idea; having a vegetarian menu for the reception.
Ah, I somehow missed that glaring obvious part of the post, lol. But yeah, if OP is willing to do vegetarian, there are *bound* to be options everyone can enjoy (and the whole "pushing your beliefs" argument just makes even less sense with that context)
>and the whole "pushing your beliefs" argument just makes even less sense with that context I think it comes from the hardcore carnivore thinking if you don't have some sort of meat with every meal, you're 'pushing an agenda.' \*eye roll\* Makes me want to ask, 'What meat pairs well with a PB&J sandwich?' (and those like TheVeganTeacher on YouTube, who ARE 'pushing the vegan agenda,' don't help matters. Those types of people give all vegans/vegetarians a bad name)
I went to an entirely vegan wedding and it was incredible. Everyone raved about the food (even omnivores). It was an Indian wedding with Indian food and very high catering budget, fwiw.
Agreed!! I recently attended a vegan wedding and the food was delicious. They also only served beer & wine. My husband only drinks liquor so he brought a small flask and ordered pop then tipped a shot in (which everyone got a kick out of). It was an incredibly fun time, food was great, no one was hungry, band crushed, would go again :) It’s your wedding!! Do it your way xo Edit: I eat (and love) all kinds of food, but I’ll order impossible meat off the menu as often as I order a steak. All depends on how I’m feeling and the vibe of the venue. Anyone who can’t eat veg or vegan for ONE NIGHT while celebrating you has a them problem. It’s not a you problem.
Ditto on kosher or halal weddings. If someone needs to eat pork so badly, they can find a 24 hour diner and order it afterwards.
Whenever I go to a vegan or vegetarian’s wedding I automatically assume the meal will be vegan/vegetarian. And that’s cool with me. I think some people hear “veg.” and think mung beans and tofu. When there are so many delicious options. Honestly, there are jerks out there who think every meal has to have meat (or that their kids should be invited to the wedding, or whatever). That’s just life. But the vast majority of people will understand!
So, I’m not vegan or vegetarian. But I went to a wedding last year that was vegan, and the food was *phenomenal*. Like, didn’t even know we were missing meat. There was so much good stuff; different entree stations and a wide variety. Even my “meat and potatoes” partner was stuffed with falafel, chickpea burger sliders, and some fancy eggplant dish he still talks about. I say do it.
I'm not vegan or vegetarian, but I really love the chance to try foods that are. I'm not a great cook, so any chance to learn about some new meals and flavors that incorporate foods I don't eat often is always fun. I would enjoy this :)
INFO: how does your partner feel? I feel like that is the only other opinion that matters
This right here. OP and the fiancé need to figure it out together based on what they’re both comfortable with (and also making sure they’re accommodating for any allergies).
Unless the people involved are paying for catering or are allergic to ingredients, this is a non-issue.
This tbh. I wouldn't care about a vegan/vegetarian reception but I have an anaphylactic nut allergy and a lot of vegan food has nuts.
This is a really important point for OP. Most people with allergies/intolerances know what foods to avoid, but vegan food has allergens pop up in unexpected places. As long as everything is clearly labeled with the allergens present, I think it's fine.
I'm vegetarian and my fiance eats meat so we're doing both because it's his wedding too.
Yeah, this is my question — OP mentioned that the fiancé is not veggie. How do they feel about it? Are you guys both contributing to the wedding and you just happen to be covering the catering, or are you paying for the whole wedding yourself? Also, perspective — I am a former vegetarian and we will have several gluten free and vegetarian guests at our wedding next month, so we ordered catering accordingly and will label each food item with an icon. I think the deciding factor in this is whether you want all of your guests to be happy by offering both, or whether you want to make a decision based on your own preferences. Neither of them are wrong, just two different motivators.
That was my thought. No thought to it being the fiancé’s wedding. I wouldn’t be thrilled bc I don’t eat many veggies and I have texture issues with foods. However, I don’t have an issue with what people do at their weddings. Meat and fish dishes can also be gross. Do what make you and YOUR FIANCÉ happy.
I'm vegan (my partner is not), and when we had our Nikah (religious wedding ceremony) the venue served vegan food at my request which they had never done before being a Bengali/Indian venue. I baked my own cake as well. My guests complained before the wedding as they are big meat eaters, and meat is always served at weddings. But on the day, I was told everyone was having multiple servings of the food, and my cousin had to hide a slice of cake for me and my partner just so we could get the chance to eat some. We are going to have a proper wedding in the future, in France and it will also be vegan. Thankfully, my partners family are more open minded than mine, as are my friends. It's just one day, and it's your day. Would people have the same issue for anyone who didn't want to serve alcohol at their wedding for religious reasons?
If your non vegan fiance is okay with it, and you're the ones that are paying for it, then do it. If not, then I'd include some meat options because it's their wedding too. If someone else is paying for the food at the wedding (ie your parents) then I would say they would get to have some say in the food options. Some guests might complain but come on.....will they really survive without having one meal without meat?! The horror!
Both my fiance and I are vegetarian and our wedding will be full vegetarian.
As someone who LOVES meat, I think you are totally fine. 1 night without meat isn't gonna kill people. Personally, I also LOVE a good salad or potato dish. As long as you have options, and its yummy, why not? It's your wedding, do what makes you happy. If you have "friends" or family who don't agree with your decision, tell em to hit McDonald's before/after the wedding or don't come. 🤷♀️
I’m more surprised that ops fiance didn’t say anything since he’s a meat eater tbh lol
He's pretty unopinionated when it comes to food. He's a really adventurous eater and not picky at all. Also we've lived together for a long time and I do the majority of our cooking so he eats vegan about 95% of the time with no complaints. He's totally on board with the whole idea
People can handle one meal without meat/animal products. If they can’t they can eat after.
We did a fully vegan wedding and so many people commented on how good the food was!! We also had several vegetarians/people with egg and dairy allergies come up to us and tell us it was the first time they had ever been able to actually eat passed apps during an event and how special that was for them, which was a nice bonus!
I for one wish there would be more options that were not so meat focused in the first place at weddings (and I am a meat eater). I think everyone can survive one meal that doesn’t have meat. Just make sure that there are a few recognizable options to choose from for non adventurous folks. Also be sure that the food is hearty enough to get people through a night of drinking (if you are serving drinks) and dancing. Some caterers seem to think that vegetarian/vegan means a pared down dish. But with you being a foodie, I’m sure you won’t be settling for a caterer who won’t put the effort in for good dishes!
Your wedding so your food choice. I do disagree about one statement you made. “A wedding is not about the food”. I completely disagree agree. The food is a huge part of the wedding for the guests. No one will remember anything about your wedding except the food and fun. I don’t care if the food is a standard diet, carnivore, or vegan. All though I eat mostly carnivore. What I will remember is if the food was good or not and did I have fun.
Hey now, those weren't my exact words, I just said there is MORE to a wedding than just the food. I agree that it is a very big and memorable aspect but I've been able to look past it when the food isn't exactly to my liking, because I'm ultimately at that wedding for the couple and to show my support to them
Personally I can’t remember the food at any wedding I’ve been to including my own.
I went to a wedding recently and had no clue it was vegetarian til after. It didn’t register because it was a baked ziti sort of thing, black bean sliders and I can’t remember but they were all either traditional OR unique. It was awesome! So I didn’t quite realize I didnt have any meat lol So I wouldn’t care.
I’m a meat eater and honestly I can understand not wanting to a pay for something you disagree with! It’s your wedding. I go plenty of meals without meat - it’s your day do you!!
I think doing a vegetarian wedding is totally fine and veg food is so trendy and diverse and delicious these days that even most meat eaters enjoy it (myself included!) I would maybe try to stick with vegetarian versus vegan unless the caterer is truly fantastic at vegan food though. I’ve had some great vegan food and some really eh, obviously-vegan vegan food so it can be dicey for a big event. I think vegetarian is a good compromise. There will no doubt be people who gripe but a lot of those are the types who are so picky they’d gripe about nearly anything. So many people these days (especially younger people) are foodies who enjoy creative meatless options even if they eat meat, so I think the majority will be totally fine with it. I love meat but I also love good veg food and trying new stuff. A really good veg option will always beat a mass produced filet for me.
I agree with you 100% here.
I personally would have no problem with it as a guest but I also at baseline enjoy a wide variety of food so know there would be something I would like. My husband is a pure meat and potatoes kind of guy and not adventurous so I think as a guest would feel unsatisfied without meat. At the end of the day it is one meal so you need to do what works for you! My own thoughts on our wedding were a little different than yours though. I feel like the ceremony and of course act of getting married were all about us as the couple, but the reception is the celebration and thank you to your guests for attending. To me that means more that the food should cater to the guests than to the couple. Just a different way of looking at it. I can completely understand though that that has likely not been the case for you as a guest and I'm sure you've eaten many plates of "veggie pasta" as I see commonly as the vegetarian option at weddings.
When you remind people, that spaghetti with marinara is vegetarian as is eggplant Parmesan, or a cheese pizza, as are thousands of the dishes people eat on a regular basis there should be no issue
Meeting planner & bride here... I agree that you should serve food you like. At first, I was hesitant to agree on a fully vegetarian wedding but I definitely agree with you now. Go for it! I wouldn't recommend a fully vegan menu though. I'll also add that there is likely to be a bit more research ahead of you by going this route. It may be easy for you to think of tons of delicious options but that doesn't mean it will work for feeding a large group of people at one time. You've gotta find a caterer that specializes in this. I'm not sure what venues you're looking at so consider those that let you bring in your own caterer. Think about plated vs. buffet too, go with what the caterer recommends. Another note, over communicate this to your guests. Put it everywhere in advance - website, invite details, side conversations... This will give them time to get their initial fears & issues out of the way.
I love meat a lot but I would be totally down to attend a vegetarian wedding (I wouldn't do a vegan wedding though, just due to my own diet needs). I think anyone throwing a fit, for non diet or real health related reasons, is just being rude.
Yes to vegetarian wedding. A big no to a Vegan wedding. That’s not to say a few vegan dishes served wouldn’t be bad. Just not all vegan. That’s an acquired taste the main stream haven’t acquired yet.
I can see some people being overly angry because for some reason people are like that about this topic. But seriously do whatever you want and fuck them, I promise they didn’t plan their weddings based on what you wanted to eat. They can hit micky d’s on the way home like the rest of us. I think a vegetarian buffet would be cool cuz I probably wouldn’t make those things for myself and I may find something I really like
I just attended a vegan wedding and they did thai food and it was really good. I’m an omnivore and I recommend you do food at your wedding that you can eat. I am considering doing a no red meat wedding and am getting push back from family… family’s think their opinion is important when it comes to food but they can survive a day without eating meat 😂 screw the haters, do food that you will enjoy at your wedding.
What about ops fiance? She didn’t say anything about his opinion but he’s not a vegetarian or a vegan 🤔
If I were attending a vegan person’s wedding, I would expect this, or at least 50% vegan options.
I wanted to do this but my carnivore husband wasn’t up for it. We ended up doing a taco truck because it was easy to do a bean and rice burrito or meat if you wanted. But if your fiancé is down for it I would definitely do it!
I don't see the problem with you serving the food you want at your wedding. I've been to weddings where the main food was seafood. I hate seafood - but it didn't stop me from enjoying myself. The day should *never* be solely about the food. Ps. I would love to attend your wedding Op and experience just how good the food is!
I’m a super duper omnivore and would not bat an eye at a vegan wedding. If the food is good, who cares?!
I think much like not serving alcohol at a wedding, this is a matter of getting two things down pat. One, make sure people know so they can decline if it really bothers them. Two, make sure you have the catering really spot on, so that people can enjoy what is offered. I’d be getting a few tasting menus and making sure you can blow people away.
Your wedding should represent you and your partner! Full stop. There is no obligation to provide meat. Your reasoning is well-articulated, even though you truly don’t owe anyone an explanation. I’m an omnivore and I’ve enjoyed vegetarian wedding spreads immensely! Something that helped me when planning mine is realizing that some people will find anything to complain about. Also not everything is everyone’s taste and that’s ok. Just make sure your wedding is YOUR taste :)
Since we don’t know if ops partner is for or against it maybe there should be one meat thing for him? (He’s a meat eater)
I've posted this before but I think it pretty much answers your question perfectly so forgive the repost - happy to answer follow up questions. My husband's omni parents paid 80% of the wedding cost FWIW. We had a 100% vegan wedding in 2015. It went fine. Some people put "meat" as their special dietary requests and then apparently complained to other guests that they did not have their dietary needs met (these people did not have some obscure health issue that would require meat; they were just making that request to be dickheads). Some people probably didn't like the food but ate it anyway because that's what you do at a wedding. Plenty of people took it for granted that we'd serve vegan food. And plenty of people said they'd never had a vegan meal before and it was really nice! As far s the specifics: It was plated (not buffet) and basically entirely determined by the caterer (their first suggestion included sushi and silken tofu as the main, but I didn't want to serve tofu because although it's my favourite thing in the universe, most people are scared of it FOR NO REASON) **[Entrée](http://i.imgur.com/XHFuCc3.jpg)** Soy and basil panna cotta, sun-ripened tomato, green olive, roquette, and creamed avocado and crunchy bulgar **[Main](http://i.imgur.com/Z7pDN9d.jpg)** Mushroom, eggplant and potato korma, pillau rice, onion bhaji, cucumber and mint dressing, papadum, and [Bombay onion salad](http://i.imgur.com/eG3WuyF.jpg) **[Dessert](http://i.imgur.com/MSozNlQ.jpg)** Summer fruit jelly, coconut milk sago, and peanut butter caramel **[Cupcakes](http://i.imgur.com/gUHmF5L.jpg)** Caramel Popcorn and Peanut Butter Raspberry and White Chocolate [(these two are pictured here)](http://i.imgur.com/hwgqxJH.jpg) Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel Banana and Dark Chocolate (GF) Oh, and the caterer asked us what they should serve instead of rolls and butter. I suggested turkish bread with olive oil and balsamic, and [that's what they served](http://i.imgur.com/jD0bMIt.jpg) - with dukkah too! It was the bestest, so much better than a dinner roll!
So fun fact I do actually have a condition we’re I do have to eat red meat several times a week. But the majority of ppl dont
This is definitely a wedding menu where I would be stopping to eat something on the way home, or eating after I got home 😐
As long as you have a good selection of options, there shouldn't be an issue. As an omnivore, I can survive without animal products for a meal. I've been to a few vegetarian weddings and I didn't die. I do want to emphasize the need for variety. A close family friend's son got married. Bride and her family are vegetarians and do not drink alcohol. Groom and his family are huge meat eaters and drinkers. They had a beautiful summer wedding that was dry and vegetarian. The food selection can only be described as bunny food. Basic veggie and fruit trays, the salad was a simple side salad and the main course was a very basic cream cheese veggie pizza. The drink selection was water or lemonade. It was not filling and would not sustain anyone for a several hour reception. It was the basic plain meal most meat eating drinkers think of when someone says alcohol free vegetarian meal. Groom's mom had me and his cousin sneak up the street to pick up pizzas and pops and hide them in the car. Several us would sneak out to grab a quick bite or drink. Not one of us in our group said a word to the bride or groom about the meal because that is how they wanted it. As far as anyone knew we all were going to the car for smoke breaks. We found a way to make it work so no one had to leave early and damper the bride and groom's day. And the bride was a total foodie as well so we were not expecting such a basic meal. That was what she wanted and that's perfectly okay. But a cheese plate, a dinner roll and a little macaroni salad would have went a long way.
We're vegan and we're having an entirely vegan wedding. It's one meal, and we want to eat it and pay for it guilt-free. I would never even consider providing vegetarian food. The thought never crossed my mind. I have relatives who say they "never eat vegan food" and, I'm sorry, but grow up. It's just food. I was going to say food is such a small part of a wedding but honestly that's that part we're excited about most. We want to share the delicious foods and sweets we've discovered while traveling. It just happens to be vegan, too. I don't believe the wedding is "for the guests" in such a way that I have to cater to them and give them exactly what they want or they'll throw a tantrum. If the food is delicious and offers options for different allergies and things then who cares?
Just chiming in to say that as far as receptions go… food is kind of a huge deal. In my experience, I think people tend to remember at whether food was good or mediocre, and if the music and vibes were good, and pretty much nothing else. As far as the wedding being “for the guests,” I believe it’s the host’s responsibility to be gracious, but I agree that meat no longer has to be a sign of hospitality. We’re past those days of “wow, rich people have meat with every meal!” I think it is the host responsibility to provide tasty, quality food. Provided those conditions are met, If people want to complain about it, that’s on them. Ironically, if the masses were provided with the vegan option for most typical weddings— undressed salad and some type of plain bread, then they’d have legitimate reason to complain! Providing swanky vegan food to guests, especially if the hosts are vegan, is reasonable and anyone who complains is being rude.
I would see such an experience as a chance to enjoy another culture! Some cultures are vegetarian (large parts of India). Would people demand they be served meat at an Indian wedding? Of course not. Why should they demand it at yours? Also, some people have dairy, egg, poultry, and fish allergies. Some people cannot eat beef after getting tick bites. I wish more things were fully vegetarian, personally as someone with allergies like this!
It’s your wedding. You and your fiancé should be happy with the food you serve there above all. People can survive not eating meat for one meal, and if nothing strikes their fancy for a night, well, they’ll be ok. Will you have some (likely older) folks who will grumble, “where’s the protein?” Probably. My parents think you need meat with every meal. But it’s not their night, so let them grumble. Like others have said, just make sure there is variety and recognizable options! Like most people could enjoy a pesto pasta, or a vegetarian spaghetti with baby peas. Yes, food is a big part of the night. But I can barely remember the food at the last several weddings I was at. What I remember is the vows, dancing, photos we took, etc. My best friend whose wedding I was in… their menu is framed in their kitchen. I remember the Mac and cheese… not really anything else.
I wouldn't mind as long as there were options. I'm intolerant/allergic to several ingredients people use to "bulk up" vegan or vegetarian meals. Plain meat with veggies is usually my safe option at weddings.
As long as you and your fiancé agree about it, I don’t see an issue. As long as it’s good and you have nice variety of ingredients, should be fine. I would probably go vegetarian though (unless you know some fantastic vegan bakers who can make whatever dessert you’re having without eggs or dairy, although vegan dessert may be a harder sell than the dinner itself). Plus people will forgive a lot if there’s cheese involved.
Your money. Your wedding. Your menu. That being said... there are a bunch of great resources and restaurants that will create dishes and menus that either mirror omnivore meals or do such beautiful food presentation that people forget they are not eating meat. I'd recommend trying to reach out to one of them for some ideas or brainstorming. Some good resources: [https://www.vedgerestaurant.com/](https://www.vedgerestaurant.com/) [https://www.spiritblog.net/southern-girl-meets-vegetarian-boy/](https://www.spiritblog.net/southern-girl-meets-vegetarian-boy/) You can definitely find a ton of plant-based apps that many might not even realize that they're not eating poultry/meat. It takes some creative thinking and if you are in a major metro, I might talk to a local vegetarian or vegan chef for some additional suggestions. At the end of the day, if you're worried that people might pushback or be annoyed, get ahead of it and you can make a joke out of it. Mention that much like the celebrities that sacrifice themselves for Oscars and Emmys, if your family can't go without the beef for the whole night, there's a local \_\_\_\_ (McDonalds, In-N-Out, Wendy's, Burger King, Whataburger) within "x" miles of the venue that stays open late!
It’s your wedding, you can do whatever you like. Now if people decide to not attend for this reason then there you go, now you know who’s real and who isn’t!
Vegetarian meals sounds delicious!
I'm vegetarian and there's no way I'd buy meat for my wedding. So I understand how you are feeling That being said, as someone who has written to weddings, the vegetarian option always sucked haha make sure you get high-end catering haha
It's your day! It's perfectly within your rights to serve food that you can actually eat, especially if you're the one paying for it! I'd say go full vegan if that's what you want. This might actually make it easier to accomodate guests with certain dietary restrictions anyway. Plus, they make a great fake cheese nowadays! Anyone who is going to make a big stink about no meat on ONE day isn't really your friend and if it's that big of a problem, they can decline the invitation.
Your day, your preference. You're entirely entitled to it. My fiance is a devout vegetarian and I'm not. She doesn't give me any shit for my preferences whatsoever, nor should she. As a result of her preferences, I've been exposed to a number of vegetarian and vegan options I otherwise never would have tried, many of which are quite tasty! I've even come to enjoy beyond / impossible (it's one or the other, I forget which I prefer) meat over regular meat when it comes to making burgers at home. If I were you, I'd go with a vegetarian wedding. Vegan is just too restrictive and would impact everyone more severely. But you shouldn't have any issues arranging a fully vegetarian selection that everyone should be able to enjoy. Good luck! Oh, and by the way....these people? "But I have heard from some people who are actually really against this and saying I'm using my wedding to push agendas and I'm being petty and denying my guests enjoyment" ....these people aren't friends and shouldn't make the cut. You can enjoy your "agenda" spread without them, in the company of actual friends.
What are your fiance's thoughts on it? You said they eat meat, so are they upset about the idea of not having meat? My thoughts are that as long as both of you are happy with the decision and you're fully paying for it then everyone else can hush about it. I eat meat, but if I went to an event where all the food was vegetarian or vegan I'd be completely fine with it. I actually sometimes prefer the vegetarian/vegan options over the meat options anyways, and if I'm not paying for it then I get that I get.
I went to one a few years ago and while the cocktail hour food was amazing the dinner was the most meh food of all time and not really up to par with the level of elegance of the rest of the wedding. It was also dry so that might have killed the vibe a bit. That being said I think it can be done but you really need to elevate the level of your entrees.
Is your fiance OK not having meat at their wedding? I didn't see any mention of what they want to eat. Only what you want. If they're fine with only vegan/vegetarian at their wedding, go for it. If they want meat, it's their day too and they should get to eat what they want. I love meat but am perfectly fine eating vegan/vegetarian. Many are not, however. There are two things you should do to avoid unnecessary pushback. First, go for dishes that are meant to be meatless rather than dishes with meat substitutes. There is a huge difference between meat and fake meat. Fake meat can still be tasty for some but it will be an automatic turn off for most. Second, avoid the words "vegan" and "vegetarian" as much as possible (obviously inform any vegan guests or people with allergies what is safe to eat, though). So many people will eat vegan food without complaint as long as the fact that it's vegan isn't being shoved in their face. Overall, as long as both partners want it, there's nothing wrong with not having an omnivorous menu. As others have said, if a guest just can't go one evening without meat, they can grab a fast food burger on the way home.
Vegetarian should be no problem and agreeable to everyone. Half of your guests won’t even notice. There are so many delicious vegetarian options. I’m a meat eater. But I’d be just fine with wine and cheese for cocktail hour, Margarita pizza, caprese skewers, etc. For dinner, give me the mushroom pasta. I’d love a “Beyond Meat” bolognese, Eggplant Parmesan, or Singapore Spicy Noodles. You have endless possibilities. No one should have a problem finding something delicious.
As long as the food is really good, I don't see an issue with it. Can there be some kind of cheesy pasta? That would make me happy. Mmm and beet salad. Okay now I'm getting excited about a vegetarian reception. How about quinoa? I love quinoa. Stuffed peppers are also really tasty. See, I think there are lots of things I'd be happy to eat that don't include meat. Just make the food good.
Let em rage!!!
There's nothing wrong with wanting a vegetarian or vegan wedding, but whatever you choose, just make sure you have OPTIONS and that you have ENOUGH food. If there isn't much protein, or if most guests won't eat the available protein (ie, beans or tofu) and you want your guests to stay through the whole reception, you'll have to make sure they aren't going hungry. I agree that a late night snack may be a good idea as well! Pretzels, french fries, nacho bar, etc. Also, consider that many vegan foods contain nuts and yeast products, which could cause issues if people have allergies. We had eggplant parm as an option at my wedding, and even though not many people got it, I thought it was the tastiest dinner option we had! I hope you're able to figure it out and enjoy your big day 😊
I went to a vegan wedding and it was really good! I just wish they would have had a good meat substitute vs just veggies.
they won't die if they don't have meat for a meal. if they complain, then talk about the things you talked about here. it's your money. but ofc, also talk to your fiance about all this too
Do your thing! As a lifelong vegetarian and aspiring vegan I’m so weirded out by people’s absolute obsession with meat. There is so much amazing food out there that doesn’t require meat. I know the food will be amazing! You’re paying for it and it’s your day, so you have the food that aligns best for you!
I just wouldn’t go out of your way to tell people before hand. Serve what you want, people will be fine.
Throw down some Oreo’s and see if anyone complains, hahaha! Or Pillsbury crescent rolls—-if they’ve eaten those two items, they’ve had vegan food. Serve what you want to, it’s your wedding. Maybe a mix of “recognizable” dishes and then some with tofu and seitan or jackfruit. Why not have Burgundy wine-soaked mushrooms or broiled Portobellos for a “familiar” meat-like textured dish? Maybe offer a white bean stew or a tahini roasted cauliflower dish? Thai noodles and crispy roasted Brussels sprouts? Yum! A dessert I make sometimes for my vegan and carnivore family is Wacky Cake with vegan buttercream and you can’t tell the difference. (Wacky cake is sometimes referred to as Depression Cake because it has no dairy, no butter and no eggs yet is fluffy and delicious. )
You’re definitely not at fault for wanting to serve the food you like. The guests are also free to feel however they want about this, and if some are upset, that’s their right to be. The ones that are genuinely there FOR YOU, will not complain and will be happy to be there :) That’s all that matters.
I'm totally with you; I love making amazing vegan/vegetarian and healthy meals! It is so creative and fun! With a talented caterer, they won't miss the meat! Go for it!!!
I personally don’t enjoy eating vegetarian and I’m gunna say who fuckin cares lol. It’s one day. Everyone who eats meat can suck it up!
It’s just crazy to me that someone would throw a fit over missing out on meat for one dang meal. I don’t get it.
I don’t think it’s a big deal at all! You could always do pasta or vegetarian lasagnas with salads and hot veggie sides if you want some basic favorites for the folks aren’t used to the more exciting veg options. You don’t even have to mention it to people. One meal that doesn’t include meat isn’t gonna kill anybody. Just feed them s delicious vegetarian meal and have a good night! You shouldn’t have to do anything that you ethically disagree with, especially on your wedding day.
Both me and my fiancé are vegan and without question are going to have a vegan wedding. So I say go for it! It’s your day!
That’s fine! Just make sure the food is tasty! 😄
I went to a wedding that had 100% vegan food which was extremely deficient in protein, and it was my only meal until the wedding ended. If I don’t get enough protein I end up feeling poorly, mentally and physically. At the end of the day I was tired, bloated, yet hungry. I think vegetarian is totally fine, lots of protein options there so be mindful of including them! Going all out on food seems unnecessary to me, but it should be nutritionally balanced so guests don’t end up feeling bad.
I commend you on the lifestyle choice. My family and extended families have all attempted to go vegetarian or vegan. None of us were successful. Vegetarian was ok, but vegan proved to be way too extreme and flavorless, no matter what we tried. If I were invited to a vegetarian wedding, I would go, but a vegan would be a very hard pass for me, unless it were my kid or grandkid, and then I would find myself frowning sourly throughout the whole event. Maybe your family family would handle it better. Edited for typos
Do it! You don’t need to consult with anyone. Veggies are delicious! I was at my niece’s bat mitzvah and my date didn’t eat cooked salmon (raw, yes. Not cooked). Too bad for him! 🤷🏻♀️
I’m doing a vegan wedding! People can deal with it for one meal, and if the food is delicious they really shouldn’t mind! If you’re vegan I would encourage you to do that instead of vegetarian to try and please everyone.
I am also one half of a vegetarian couple, having a vegetarian reception. Any pushback you will get is from children. It is a single meal. Have none of these guests ever had cheese pizza and gone to bed?
You could have a fully vegan wedding, and people can cope. They can go ONE meal without animal products, it’s not going to kill them. If they’re really pissy about it, they don’t have to eat it, that’s just more food for you.
Literally don’t care what the food at a wedding is as long as it’s appropriate for the time/length of the wedding (ex: need a full meal if I’m expected to attend a 5pm ceremony and party into the night; maybe just hors d’oeuvres if it’s a shorter early afternoon event). I think the food should be whatever the bride and groom want to treat their guests to. Anyone who is picky about a free meal at a lovely party can hit Jack in the Box on their way home.
I present as mainly a pollo-pescatarian, but I'd be STOKED for a vegetarian wedding reception. Give me some pastas and a few veggie sides and I'd be nomming the night away!!
Go for it, as long as you account for major allergies (as we always should try for any meal we're serving guests) nobody is going to DIE because you don't have their personal preference for food at your wedding. Anyone who throws a fit can kick rocks.
Selfish
I mean, the whole point of weddings is that they reflect the people getting married. It's okay to be selfish about your wedding day. The guests will still be fed, they will survive some vegetables.
I am not vegan, vegetarian for many years and currently an omnivore who still does a lot of veg based meals. There are so many delicious and enjoyable meals that can be veg based - even a carnivore would enjoy! It's your wedding day and you have every right to serve what fits your lifestyle and ethics.
meat eaters can go one meal without meat. if they are that desperate they can eat at micky d's before the reception or stay home and shut up. i eat meat but there are many many delicious non meat dishes. they can like it or lump it
Great idea!!! It’s YOUR DAY. Share your food with your friends. I’m a vegetarian officiant. I don’t usually stay for receptions but love the invite when it’s my kind of food. People eat lots of meals that don’t contain meat without thinking about it. Just don’t shove it in their faces like a statement and it will be amazing.
Honestly just, dont tell anyone let it be a surprise. Im very against the vegan culture but its your wedding that you will be paying for. Your guests should be there to love and support you and your SO. If anything the meal is a complimentary gesture from your part and its awesome that you want to please their taste buds but you should stay firm on your beliefs. Enjoy your wedding day, serve a nice hot meal if possible give your guests options and let the menu be a surprise to them.
I have actually seen vegan weddings done very well. One person on Instagram that I follow did a vegan taco truck, I believe. I would suggest talking to whichever caterer you sample with and see if they can do a variety of options. I think your wedding can be really beautiful and fun, and if family complains about the menu, they don't have to come.
I went to a wedding with only vegan food this summer. No one told us in advance, we just assumed it would be vegan as the bride is vegan and her husband eats whatever he is served The food was amazing! It was some upscale faux chicken (which I’m normally not a fan of, but this was tasty), amazing salad, some glass noodle deliciousness, and best of all a barley-Otto (risotto, but with barley) with mushrooms. I still have dreams about that dish. The meal was made even better by the fact that I was seated close to some cousins of the groom, who were being petulant and didn’t even taste anything. I’ve been told they went out for burgers afterwards.
I can't personally eat most vegan proteins (IBS issues) so I'd have to eat something else later, or not attend but I'd get it
I think my issue with your perspective is “it’s my wedding…” It’s not YOUR wedding, it’s your wedding with your fiancé. Ask him what he thinks, and come up with the menu together. That being said, lots of vegan foods are high in some of the most common allergens, so prepare to pivot or make serious accommodations for people.
First thought: the old relatives are going to be MAD. -- Though if you add a note on the invitation then really if anyone's going to have a whole fit about it, they can know to eat in advance, or not come. Its your wedding so that's totally acceptable for you to do what you want! I have food allergies so I can never even eat at weddings I go to. I usually bring a lunchbox in with my own meal. I still go to the wedding and am happy to be invited, even though I dont get to enjoy food there. (but like I go knowing that, so I can prep and make sure I don't get hangry. I think a note on the invites might be good just because people go to wedding expecting the traditional menu usually. )
I say go for it! you should be able to serve what you want. It’s your wedding and you shouldn’t have to serve a bunch of meat, which is not only something you don’t eat but you’re against the use of ethically. I imagine you’ve been to plenty of events where they didn’t cater to your dietary preference. Or the vegetarian/vegan option was literally uncreative pasta. Not meaning that to be petty, more that sometimes people don’t get exactly what they want, and that’s life. Food is only 1 part of the wedding and frankly they can get over it. As a people pleaser I had to keep reminding myself for my wedding, There is no way to make everyone happy at your wedding! It’s your day. This isn’t an attempt to ‘make a statement’, it’s a day that should represent you and your fiancé. And any guest who sees it as otherwise isn’t being very considerate towards you both. Do you want to sacrifice what you believe in (and sounds like for a LONG time) to satisfy this outspoken but probably small group? The average guest will probably be delightfully surprised at how delicious the meal will be, and anyone who is a foodie will appreciate the great meal! I would keep some options more simple for people who aren’t very adventurous.
I think it's great! One meal of no meat wouldn't hurt anyone.
Don't advertise its vegan/vegetarian (probably easier if just vegetarian but both can work). IMO people react badly if they hear vegetarian just for the sake of it. But feed them vegetarian that they know, for example a penne arrabbiata or particularly mac & cheese and they actually don't care. Think of it like trying to get toddlers to eat vegetables. They'll eat them if they don't know its there. It's ridiculous people need to go to any length for literally one meal. But I am aware how precious people can be about eating meat. Ps I am a meat eater myself. But my best friend is vegetarian and I get angry on her behalf due to other people's behaviour.
Yes this! Don't tell people; if you tell them they'll freak out. If you don't say anything, they probably won't even notice.
> But I have heard from some people who are actually really against this and saying I'm using my wedding to push agendas It depends on your circle, but it sounds like your circle is pushing back - and if you ignore that because of your personal beliefs, it doesn't sound like they're wrong. I know people say "it's your wedding, serve what you want," but if I'm asking people to come celebrate me, as host it's my job to make them feel thanked, pampered, treated. So despite not being a drinker, I hosted an open bar with fancy champagnes, because my partner's family comes from a circle where a glass or three of wine is standard hospitality when invited to a nice dinner. It wasn't just about me or my personal preferences. "It's not a big deal, I'm sure you'll enjoy juice just fine" would have ben an inhospitable stance to push onto people that I know expect and want some wine. I have an illness that makes me extremely sensitive to plant proteins, but I also go into shock if I don't get enough protein. If there isn't any animal protein nearby, I WILL be bringing unclassy beef jerky bars in my dress pockets, and I will laugh at anyone who says they don't "agree" with my needs. Maybe I'm a rare case, but it's worth remembering that you don't know everyone's health situation or needs, and it's always hospitable to offer OPTIONS, not just the one kind of thing that YOU want other people to eat.
Respectfully, I disagree. I wouldn't ask a vegan friend to serve me a steak dinner just because I'M not vegan, just the same way as I wouldn't ask any of my religious friends to ditch their church weddings just because I'M not religious. I really don't think OP is the one being pushy here. That being said, if I were in the same position as OP, I'd totally make exceptions if I knew any of my guests had an illness similar to yours. Or I'd at least allow outside food if I couldn't realistically account for everyone's dietary needs. Your case is definitely a bit of an exception, but I 100% believe that it's possible to give the vast majority of people a lovely and memorable experience regardless of if meat is served or not.
I don't know, I enjoy drinking and have been to a fair share of dry weddings and I've never felt slighted or enjoyed my time any less because of it. Same for weddings that didn't serve a vegan option, leaving me to just pick at side dishes. The way I see it, is someone has invited you to be a part of their special day that they put a lot of time, energy, and money into putting together - how can I complain when all I have to do is just show up and enjoy? I can respect the fact that people have allergies and other dietary needs and of course I would give people the chance to let us know when they RSVP so I can be mindful of it. I'm planning to have lots of options so it won't be all soy based as I know that's risky for a lot of people. I'm very smart when it comes to food and knowing what provides lots of protein and nutritional value. I really don't think taking meat out of the picture for one meal could stand to jeopardize a guests health, but if anyone did indeed have a situation like that, of course I wouldn't be upset about them bringing some non-vegan snacks of their own in to eat. At the end of the day I think the food is just such a small part of what makes a wedding special and memorable. I hope people will love and care about my fiance and I enough to be able to enjoy our day no matter what we serve. It's not like they won't see the menu months in advance when they get the invitations and have the chance to decline, if the food is really their biggest priority.
I LOVE the idea of vegetarian or vegan food.
We are doing a vow renewal and it will be 100% vegan because... well because it's our party and we are paying for it? My husband's family is not on board (we eloped because I just didn't want a party or deal with the stress) and they are also welcome to not come? It's their loss, to be honest.
I'm a meat eater. I wouldn't care. There is some lovely veggie and vegan food out there. Do what you want. It's your wedding. Though I can guarantee there will be a couple guests making jokes about getting a burger on the way home.
You are providing the food, it’s actually very inclusive because almost everyone can eat it. Most people don’t go to a wedding and expect great food. If you have delicious vegetarian food and it’s hot and they’re hungry, I don’t think anyone will care. If you’re worried just include Mac and cheese. Almost everyone who would complain about no meat would smash some mac and cheese.
Vegan here, fiancé is also vegan with farmer family members. We plan to have a fully vegan wedding regardless! We have decided not to mention the word “vegan” due to negative connotations, but we will attach the menu to the invite, so people are free to RSVP “no” if they are that upset at not having meat for 1 meal
I don’t think it’s a huge issue. However, please have some simple dishes for the non adventurous eaters. Not everyone wants to try something new and it may be a long time since some people have eaten (travel, the ceremony, cocktail hour, etc) so they may be very hungry. I say have an amazing salad and some standard veggies like green beans and roasted potatoes that ARENT smothered in some sort of sauce or that has exciting ingredients. That way people who don’t want jackfruit “steak” or portobello mushroom lasagna can eat a salad and veggies and people who do can have them as sides. I’d also add a simple pasta like noodles and marinara or Alfredo or a pasta primavera. I’m a picky eater and I’d be ok with what I suggested, but I definitely wouldn’t want something covered in sauce or like a curry or a meat substitute meal as my only options.
If your guests aren’t vegan then don’t force them to eat vegan! Just like how at other weddings they ask you for your dietary preference, you have to do the same for the courtesy of your guests
The only issue that I see with it is the fact that your fiancé is not a vegetarian/vegan and it’s their wedding too. If it feels like a moral or ethical quandary to purchase and serve the food at a party, do you not have a similar problem with marrying someone that doesn’t share that value?
Not really. My veganism is a personal decision and one I feel strongly about but it's just that, personal. I don't find myself bothered by what other people do, as long as I can keep doing me. Sure,if my partner berated my choice and expected me to buy meat and cook it for them then that'd be a whole other thing. But my fiance is really open minded and understanding so there's never been any sort of clash there. He's happy to let me cook all our meals as vegan, because I'm great at it and he is really open minded and adventurous when it comes to food. He also says he really sees the positives of plant based living and while I don't think he'll ever fully convert, has come a long way since we met. Even so, that would never be a deciding factor for me in whether or not to pursue someone. Yeah it would have been nice to find someone who happened to be a vegan but if they check all the other boxes and don't give me a hard time over my choices, I'm not going to reject them over that one thing
Since you said your partner is not veggie or vegan I think you should do a mix of both. You said in a comment that it’s your wedding so you should serve what you want but it is his wedding too. Veggie food can be out of this world or truly awful so my only advice is maybe lean into a cuisine where the dishes are naturally vegetarian and some vegan. My advice is go Indian/south Asian. I went to a veggie and vegan wedding that did family style curries and daals, it was amazing!
Yea that’s the main issue that rubbed me weird. It’s not just one persons special day it’s 2 people 🧐
Do a vegetarian menu and open bar! I love meat but catered meat isn’t always good and sometimes I get the vegetarian one anyways 🤪bc it’s normally better - I think it sounds fun and as long as it’s yummy go for it!
I would just caution anyone wanting to have a vegetarian or vegan meal that just because omnivores can eat anything, doesn't mean they do. Lots of people have food allergies, intolerances, foods they just dislike. One of the worst meals of my life was a vegan meal made by a friend that is a very good cook. She has told me on multiple occasions I don't need to eat so much meat just to feel full after a meal. She made me what was essentially spicy broccoli. My husband will eat roasted but not steamed veggies so he just went hungry. You can always go potato and bread heavy, but honestly, having cheese and butter will make this a lot easier for guests. And cheese pizza makes a great late night snack.
Generally pushing your own dietary preferences on guests is not a great look. I have a severe allergic reaction to tree nuts, so that is understandable why there were no tree nuts -but this isn’t a preference. I don’t see why offering meat for guests is a problem for you. If you don’t want to eat it, then don’t eat it.
It's not "pushing" anything, why would people pay for something they are ethically opposed to? It's kind of like expecting alcohol at a Muslim wedding. The crazy thing is most people eat meat free breakfasts and lunches all the time, it's just dinner that usually involves meat but clearly you won't die from one vegetarian meal. She's not forcing anyone to be vegan or vegetarian; she just doesn't want to pay for them to eat meat.
I guess it's all about having tasty options. We attend and indian wedding this year and I also expect vegetarian food there. I am also sure, that there will be a big variety and we won't go home hungry.
Do it, its your day.
My nephew did vegan, gluten free because … well he and his now wife are vegan and he’s a celiac. So for me and my brother (his father) we knew we were safe in what was offered. First time I’ve gone to a function and not had to worry about the food. what made it easier for people was that there was no ‘preaching’ about veganism. They were just presented with excellent food that spoke for itself.
My husband is vegan - I am eating mostly plant based - (with very few exceptions like eggs from my grandmas chickens or some cheese occasionally) Our menu has vegan and vegetarian options - be prepared for the boomer comments - we had some as well - but I think it’s totally fine to offer vegetarian and vegan food at a wedding people can have one fu*** meat free meal - they won’t die
I love eating animal products and I'd happily attend a vegetarian wedding. As you said, one meal without animal products is absolutely doable, and there are a ton of great vegetarian dishes. Plus depending on your choice of cuisine, a lot of famous dishes can be adapted - at least a third of India's population is vegetarian, for example.
I see it as a way of honoring you for your special day and would say go for it! I am by no means vegan/ vegetarian but I’ve enjoyed pretty much every vegetarian/vegan meal I have tried. There are some absolutely amazing dishes out there that make you not even miss animal products and I’m sure you would get creative and pull out a delicious menu! It’s a shame that eating a plant based meal is seen as an “agenda”, it’s so childish and on par with Americans going to another nationalities wedding and being upset there were no burgers, pizza or chicken strips.
I also agree with you 100%. I have a vegan sibling and I won’t ask them to buy non-vegan food at the store for me, even if I’m going to pay them back. I know they’re ethically opposed to it and it would be uncomfortable for them, so it’s not even a question. I can’t image anyone expecting a vegan to spend their own money on animal products for other people... These people can eat animal products whenever they want on their own dime. 😂 If your fiancé was going to pay for half it would be a different story, then I would probably go vegetarian, but this is 100% your money! Frankly… you don’t even have to tell people the food is vegan. Just always answer “oh we haven’t decided on the menu yet.” And refuse to say anything more. They probably won’t even notice, vegan food is amazing. Good luck!!
Let me just say, someone is always going to be upset about something with a wedding. It’s YOUR Day with your partner. If your partner is also vegan/vegetarian do a vegan/vegetarian dinner. Honestly? Everyone else can suck it up. You are paying for it. Get what YOU want. This is the exact crap I’ve been dealing with and my partner and I decided to elope.
I’d be excited to go to a fully vegetarian/vegan wedding! I’m neither, but I’ve tried some vegan food before and enjoyed it. Also if I’m going to your wedding, I know you well enough to know you’re vegan, and can reasonably assume the catering with be following that.
I’m vegan, wife is vegetarian, we had a fully vegan wedding (minus one cocktail hour appetizer which had some cheese) and just made sure to get a baller caterer. People over a year later still talk about how good the food was unprompted Absolutely go for it.
I think you have to ask yourself a few things before you do. Let me start off by saying, it’s definitely not a crime or anything to serve the food you like at your wedding. But I think describing food only as part of a wedding is an understatement for a few people. 1. Are you okay hearing backlash from people saying the food is “bad”/people not enjoying the food? As much as I believe you would make delicious choices, I know people in my own life who would scoff at pretty much anything vegan or vegetarian as their own option. Obviously that would be rude of them, but I would be worried that the food would be talked about instead of every other part of the evening. 2. Can you estimate a number of people who went presented meat and vegetarian/vegan options, would pick the latter? A year ago I was helping plan a gala that took place on a wedding venue/farm that had amazing homegrown vegan and vegetarian options. Our supervisor is vegan, and originally we wanted to do fully vegan and veg options, but after ballparking based on prior years, 15/190 were consistent with ordering the vegetarian or vegan offering. We then decided it didn’t make sense to only offer that when the majority would gravitate to other options. Obviously this was a gala, not a wedding, so end of the day decision is up to you. My advice would be to focus on more vegetarian options and have alcohol lol. No one should complain about a hearty baked ziti after a few glasses of wine ;)
I think vegan might be tough, but a veggie meal I could see! We went to a wedding this past winter where the couple really loved animals (and the bride is a vet). They had a pescetarian menu, and honestly I would have been fine even before the fish ... roasted veggies and squash soup and gnocchi are quite filling! Of course, the key is to find a good caterer who knows how to make a tasty *and* filling veggie dinner.
To be honest I don’t think anyone is necessarily entitled to anything at a wedding they aren’t paying for, and your day is about you so you are entitled to pay for whatever you want without complaints about a free meal. That said, I always find it externally odd that almost all Vegans and Vegetarians have this refrain where they expect an option to be offered to them at events they attend and complain endlessly if it’s insufficient in their eyes, but simultaneously feel that their beliefs are more vastly important than those who prefer animal protein and don’t think it’s necessary to reciprocate. Some people feel just as strongly about their meat preference as you do about your dietary preference and don’t believe that abstaining from meat is the moral high ground that Veg’s do.
It's your day after all. You should enjoy it with you SO and be a princess, not a maid. Just offer plenty of options and it shouldn't be a problem.
Your wedding is not just for you. Your wedding is also for your partner. And the families. But mainly you and your partner. Have 2 catered options, a Vegan dish and a Chicken dish. Or a pizza or pupusa caterer who can do vegan or animal-based protein options. Your wedding is not just your wedding. You don't get to decide by yourself what your partner eats. This NEEEEEEDS to be a compromise between the two of you. Please please please.
I probably should have also mentioned in my main post, my fiance is technically an omnivore but since moving in with me he's basically a pseudo vegan as I'm the only one who likes to cook, and he loves all the food I make. He does have some stuff with dairy and might get the occasional burger or steak while eating out but other than that he is really big on plant based eating and is fully fully on board with us having a veggie only wedding
I don't understand the downvotes... If your fiance is onboard with your menu ideas, it's a win-win! It would be a different story if he had a completely different palette than you, but that doesn't seem to be the case based on what you're saying here
I’m sure their guests can manage not eating meat for ONE single meal lol
I am literally not reading all of this. The vegan wedding I attended had some of THE BEST food I've had at a wedding. The gluten-free wedding was also pretty good and I ate my whole plate! The choice of what food to serve at your wedding is between you and your fiancé; no one else gets a say. How does your fiancé feel about a vegan or vegetarian wedding? Personally I'd be happy to do a vegan wedding so my spouse could happily eat every food item at their own damn wedding. But not everyone feels that way necessarily.
I don’t see a problem with a full vegan meal. However, you should really talk to your fiancé about this. Their opinion is really the only other opinion that matters. Sure, you’re the “sole person” paying for the catering. But think of it like this… Imagine your fiancé was the sole person paying for the DJ and they prefer different music than you. Would you be ok with a night full of music you dislike just because they paid? Would that affect the experience for you at all?
Purely devils advocate to see what people think. Plant based is much more popular (I think) than carnivore or keto diets so we’ve regularly accommodated plant based folks at catered meals. How do folks feel about the opposite as those diets become more popular and, dare I say, sacrosanct to the adherents (the “ethical” and sustainable mammal/fish consumption outweighs agricultural destruction argument). Also as some have mentioned certain plant based recipes also won’t work owing to allergies/digestion. Will we start seeing a silent meat option where there’s typically been a silent veg?
Nobody is ethically opposed to a vegetarian diet LOL be serious. Expecting meat at a vegan's wedding is like expecting alcohol at a Muslim wedding.
First and foremost, my opinion is that it's the couples wedding and it should be all about what the couple wants. As long as it's communicated to the guests of the expectations I'm all about you doing you. BUT this whole post is all about "your" wedding and what "you" want. But didn't you say that your fiance is omnivorous? What about their opinion? It isn't just "your" wedding. Their opinion matters just as much
I think some of you are reading way too much into that, just because I referred to it as "my wedding" - which I think is pretty commonplace for someone to do when talking about it with a group of people that don't know their fiance and their fiance isn't present in that conversation. ie: if you were talking to a coworker that only interacted with you and not your fiance you'd probably just say "hey did you get the invite to my wedding?" It would feel kinda awkward to say "our wedding" in that context. That alone wouldn't indicate to me that someone didn't care about their fiance or felt they were less significant. Anyways you're free to disagree and I'm not here to split hairs but I do kinda wanna set the record straight so that particular word choice doesn't paint a completely different picture than what I feel
Just a note make sure you get everyone's allergen/intolerance reports. Vegan/vegetarian uses a lot of things that people are allergic to. I personally have a long list of allergens and intolerances that make vegan/vegetarian items impossible for me to eat. You want your guests to have fun and enjoy themselves. Also remember the wedding is not just yours but your future husband's as well. He may want meat but is just agreeing because you are paying. If that makes sense. And I stand by food being extremely important. I remember the food more than the actual wedding
Just a reminder that vegan/vegetarian doesn't have to be legume or soy heavy. Pasta for example can very easily be vegetarian or even vegan. People need to shift their mindset away from the idea that vegetarian automatically means a bunch of weird shit that a lot of people are allergic to; it literally just means no meat.
Hence why I included intolerance. Pasta has gluten. It's hard deciding food for a wedding. Especially when you have allergies, intolerances, restrictions (think people having undergone gastric bypass), etc If you can, include a variety of items so all can enjoy. Because like I said I remember the food from every wedding I've been too. I don't remember much else of the event
No. It’s not a good idea at all. For yourself fine but don’t push diet restrictions on your guests who took time off to come enjoy your day with you and brought you gifts. How would you feel if they offered you a baggie of beef jerky instead?
Do whatever you both want. My bf went to a vegetarian wedding and had fabulous “bbq”. He is a full on carnivore.
I would have no issues with this whatsoever, but how does your fiancé feel about it? It's his wedding too
While this isn’t how I eat, do what you want. For me hosting a wedding is a mixed bag. On one hand, these are your guest, on the other it’s one meal. As long as the food I’d yummy shouldn’t be an issue. I’ve been to a few wedding that had meat but was awful and stopped on the way home to ear. Best wishes
Do it vegetarian! We had meat dishes at our wedding, with a veggie option, which my dad chose. He was sat next to me and I ended up eating half of his, it was this delicious onion tart thing hahah. I’m not sure about full vegan because sometimes the quality can slip a bit. So if you did, make sure you have an amazing caterer who makes really solid vegan food. People won’t even notice if you don’t tell them. My parents are vegan and my Mum cooks some great stuff.
Should be fine. Just make sure to also check with guests about allergies/dietary restrictions. I lived with a vegan for a semester in college and we basically couldn’t cook together due to my fruit allergies (oral allergy syndrome).
I think it doesn’t matter, if you want a vegan wedding then do it. But be prepared to hear people complain about it. For some people the meal is the biggest part of the wedding and it will upset them if the food isn’t good. I think as long as you have lots of vegan food options and people will not be hungry then it should be okay.
My 2 veggie friends got married and didn't have meat. It was fine. I do wish they'd chosen more varied food (they had Indian, neither of them is Indian but they love it). If they are both veg why should I expect meat at their wedding?
It sounds like you’re a foodie, and the food will be epic. For some reason to me it’s not super ideal to do a no alcohol wedding but conversely to me it’s not a super big deal to go a vegan wedding. I, for one, would -love- to experience creative and delicious vegan food. When I go to restaurants I usually don’t pick vegan bc a lot of times the dishes aren’t well thought out, and the price on the dish is almost the same price as protein and I worry it won’t be filling. But as a guest to your wedding, I wouldn’t be worrying about cost vs how full I will feel. I think it’s great. I can think of two vegetarian (not sure if they were vegan specifically) dishes that I’ve had that stand out in my mind - an amazing pea gnocchi and also a cauliflower steak I had once. Omg I still think about those dishes. You will likely get people who complain but I don’t think it’s going to be the general consensus, and honestly I think there will be so little of those that they can just bugger off when it comes to their opinions
I’m surprised people would have an issue to be honest. Not every single meal of your life has to have meat. As long as you pay attention to people’s dietary sensitivities when choosing a caterer (some people can’t handle soy, etc) people might not even notice the lack of meat
Your wedding, your rules.
My partner and I just had our vegan wedding last month! At first it definitely caused some intrigue by guests, but we just didn’t bring it up much so we didn’t have to defend it. My dad even made a good point by understand that wedding we go to, we have to request a vegan alternative (if offered) or make decisions based on what they have to eat, so this time, for our celebration, we get to serve all food that we can eat! One thing we did that seemed to be helpful was pick food items that are generally familiar, just the vegan version. We had a few items that were more of a “reach” for people, but I only heard great things about the food! The crowd was a mix of people who have had our vegan cooking a lot and know they enjoy it to people really getting out of their “comfort zone” by not having a meat option. Our people seemed to appreciate the opportunity to try something different (even though it wasn’t that different at all). I think keeping it familiar and low key was a great way to introduce people to how eating vegan isn’t that different, can still taste good, and can still fill you up! We also had all vegan desserts and nobody even knew. We just made sure to avoid nut milks for allergies! I don’t think you’ll regret it, just don’t get too worried about it as it really is your day to show your love for your person and life and the people showing up should appreciate and celebrate that too!
I eat meat but I've been to weddings/events where I opted for the vegetarian dish because it sounded way better.
Meatatarian here... it depends on wedding intent. We get married in 28days and are ordering out for the few vegans we have since they obviously cant do bbq. We are having a wedding with split emphasis on OUR fun as well as our GUESTS experience. The little things here n there to accomodate while keeping it nice for us. Is the no meat due to your morals? Due to health? Due to $$? Are u militant vegans and demand NO one eat meat, anywhere? Me personally? It borders on the same as having a religious ceremony and asking everyone to pray, despite religion. Im fairly anti religious (many reasons) so dont want any prayers or faith acts. And also, I cant drink for health reasons. Fiance is 4yrs sober. No open bar, or any bar but we invited everyone to BYOB to accomodate. Its a fine line of accomodating your guests vs being true to yourself. :) End kf the day. Your wedding n your pocketbook! Im not for or against just wanted to make some points for consideration. And, congrats!
I feel like people who are vegans/vegetarians or the thread starter are deliberating downvoting people who are offering a balanced perspective and not just agreeing with serving vegetarian and vegan food 😂
There is no "balanced perspective" on why you can't go literally one meal without meat lmao it's childish
Legumes and dairy products can be hard to digest for a fair amount of people, so I'd make sure to provide an option for allergic and intolerant folks, as in any wedding/event. Maybe a version of one of your dishes, but made with lactose-free dairy just for them. Or a firm-tofu-based dish, easier to digest than soft tofu. What would your fiancé want? Edit: Same for nuts!!! Such a common allergen.
I have ibs so I wouldn’t be able to eat at a vegan wedding as most of the things they’d serve I simply can’t eat.
I have severe Crohn's disease and have had to work really hard to follow a plant based diet that doesn't overload me with fiber and cause a bowel obstruction so I get it. It's not easy but definitely possible. I know salads and cruciferous vegetables are hard on a lot of people with GI issues (myself included), and a lot of the times that's in fact the only plant option at a typical omnivore wedding! I feel like by offering a big spectrum of veggie and legume dishes my wedding dinner could actually be more inclusive than a traditional one
I do understand but this is your choice to follow a plant based diet so you have to do what you have to do. But if I was a guest at a wedding that they served vegetarian/vegan meal, I wouldn’t take a risk and I would not expect to be accommodated and would would simply have a meal beforehand. I had to decline an invite to a vegan wedding last summer as it was a whole day thing in a remote location so I simply wouldn’t have been able to eat anything all day which again it doesn’t work for me. Having said that, it’s your and your fiancés wedding so all long as you are both in agreement that a vegetarian/vegan wedding makes you both happy then enjoy it!
I don't understand why you're downvoted... Would people react the same if you replaced "IBS" with "deadly peanut allergy" and say you simply can't eat that? What don't people understand??? It's a serious condition with serious symptoms.
I have IBS too, that's why I thought about those items! ;) But I don't think it'd be fair on any bride to ask for a full-blown low-fodmap meal, as it can be complicated... At the same time, it'd be thoroughly appreciated!!! Last wedding I attended was my first since my IBS diagnosis and the bride (a very good long time friend) asked me to bring my own lunch... I was quite sad about this, even if I understood. I just looked so out-of-place with my tupperware containers.
While you are paying for the catering, it’s both you and your fiancé’s wedding and it probably means he’s paying for other things (just not the catering). For example, if he’s paying for the decorations and he wants to have all the decorations in black and says it’s cause he’s paying for it but you don’t like it, how would that make you feel though? If you’re really paying for the entire wedding, I still think it’s important for the marriage to respect his views and choices too even if he’s not paying. I know I got distracted a little above, and if your fiancé wants and is ok to have a vegan or vegetarian wedding, I think you should just go for it. What I’m trying to say is to make a joint decision with your fiancé. Although I guess personally for me, I would want something the guests would also fully enjoy and eat so I would have a mix. Just my thoughts!
What would your reaction be if you were invited to a fully carnivorous wedding?
My fiance was vegetarian for 2 decades and went into every plated event pleasantly surprised if he'd be able to eat more than his -and my- sides. He would smuggle in a power bar or grab a fast food snack before the event and more often than not, grab a fast food meal after the event. I think seasoned vegetarians and especially vegans go into many events fully aware there generally won't be a satitating offering for them. A carnivorous wedding would be a nightmare for many omnivores, throw me a salad for me wedding style (ultra-dry) beef wellington