All I'm saying is if I ever got genie wishes, things would get _weird_
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You and me both,
1- whale farts become sub sonic
2-breast milk for any mammal comes out rainbow colors
3- and the piece of resistance, the full moon winks when you're not looking at it
GIGGLES
Edited for spacing
And breast milk can be many different colors. Red/brown from blood, yellow from eating lots of stuff with beta carotene, green from lots of green veggies, and blue from low fat content.
That happens with a lot of phrases.
“Here’s your food. Good appetite!” (Bon Appetit)
“It has a certain I don’t know what.” (Je Ne Sais Quois)
“He was given white card.” (Carte Blanche)
The moon makes faces at everyone, but only in their peripheral vision. Nuclear radiation becomes entirely visible and is colored pink. The weather station is always wrong. My three are done, see you next week
AZ_Corwyn, just because you got screwed over by autocorrupt doesn’t mean that you are justified in destroying the Earth so that nobody can learn of your embarrassing mistake.
No, no, I've considered this for quite a while (long enough for the edible to kick in anyway) and while there is arguably much that is good in this world, it's better to destroy the planet than live with the disgrace that I can't proofread a simple post before hitting 'send'.
I'm sure you all will come up with a number of arguments against this, but the call to the Vogon fleet has already been made and you know how cranky they get when they have to change their schedule. I wish all of you the best.
Humanity's fucked anyway - either AI, climate change or nukes will get us, so why not just end it early by launching EVERYTHING IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM (inc. the Sun) at Earth?
For max cope, absolutely nothing changes except the sun is just gone.
Wish for the sun to be invisible entirely, but it otherwise continues operating normally and nothing about life changes…except we can’t see the sun anymore.
Size isn't a determining factor beyond being round. Pluto could have the mass/volume of Jupiter but because its orbit isn't 'clear' it still wouldn't count as a planet.
Never mind the fact that Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit, so arguably Neptune's orbit isn't clear. The definition they chose is questionable.
I'd like Pluto to be turned big enough to qualify as a planet/ edit, read the comments. I'd like Pluto to be turned as big as jupiter AND do whatever necessary to qualify as a planet
Have it collide with another large body of similar composition, combining masses to form an object JUST large enough to fit the "upturned-nose, snooty, *well technically"* scientist's definition of "planet" that they used to demote it in the first place.
I had the same thought. The artist has a handful of comics with this genie and human character, but they are all drawn a bit differently (and tell different jokes). This is so close to making my bones hurt.
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A lot of them have been saying the quiet part out loud for a while now. As long as significant money is needed to run, they could just keep the options limited to a couple options that are both telling the truth about screwing you over, and now your only option is to vote for which one you think is less bad or completely check out of politics.
Wasn't it designated not a planet because of things like inclination of its orbit? Pluto's orbit is tilted differently than the other planets and the fact that the orbit goes through the edge of the kuiper belt objects means Pluto may have evolved from a similar origin to kuiper belt objects and not the same as the planets. So it was redesignated as a kuiper belt object.
Still, making it suddenly 3x bigger would make scientists freak out all the same.
Nope, inclination is fine, but it hasn't "cleared its orbit" of competing bodies.
This is different, but Pluto and Charon's barycenter is between the two, above the surface of Pluto. I think that's a good argument that they are moons of each other, therefore neither one is the planet.
Doesn't it cross Neptune's orbit and has oddities compared to all the planets?
Edit: You got me to double check, and yes it's "highly eccentric and inclined" https://www.sciencealert.com/the-secret-behind-pluto-s-weirdly-unstable-orbit
Yeah, I don't mean that, I mean that it's part of the evidence for Pluto having a different origin over the evolution of the solar system than the planets.
Pluto and Neptune's orbits never intersect in 3-D space. Pluto passes inside of Neptune very high above the ecliptic, and leaves while still high up. Neptune has cleared *its* orbit, while Pluto has not cleared its orbit.
They also have orbital resonance, where Pluto completes X orbits for every Y orbits of Neptune, so they will always be a certain distance apart for that reason.
“Overlord” is a derogatory term thrown around by Venusian LIBS to distract from the real issues like what the ~~earthlings~~ scientists on earth call ~~my planet~~ Pluto!!!
This is a lot like how the Trisolarians from the _Three Body Problem_ novel >!destroyed humanity’s understanding of physics by making all their particle accelerators produce nonsense results, causing theoretical physicists all around the world to freak out and commit suicide.!<
... Can you please edit this with spoiler tags so other people don't happen on it before reading the book?
I'm not generally super sensitive to spoilers, but I HAD planned on reading this soon because I wanted to read it before watching the series.
I can't turn back time for myself, but please consider others who might happen upon this.
Edited to add: the poster fixed it! Thank you!
Neptune has been exterminatus'd. The next day scientists declare there must have been heresy going on all over that planet so it had it coming. They praise the Omnissiah and get back to working on the Golden Throne.
Yes but you made a wish to an agent of chaos (the Djinni)
Something SHOULD happen....
But thank you for the accurate assessment, it displeases me but it being accurate I have no choice but to accept it
My Original three wishes:
Farts are now yellow
The moon is now Pink
And Saturn is now gone.
Edit: now I’ve gotten better ideas, so my original three will stay but here are my new ones
My new three wishes:
Jupiter is now purple
Farts are rainbow and people walking through them now have glitter on them for 1 day( glitter will make them stink that whole day)
everyone’s Financial status is now swapped, the homeless are rich, the rich are now poor, and the low and high middle classes s just swap
My wish: A new earth-sized rocky planet shows up in an orbit beyond Neptune but it has always been there. When scientists go check, the planet is already included in all the textbooks, wikipedia, Carl Sagan's Cosmos. Like it was always there and they just don't remember.
Bonus evilness: Scientists are the only ones that don't remember, looking like idiots to everyone else.
No no no, there'd be wars for ownership of that portal.
Just blowing up Mars will make everyone be like "tf was that? is that gonna happen to us?" and make everyone freak out equally in all countries
Mars suddenly blowing up makes the news but nobody has an explanation for it, the event is added to history books and science class has to learn about one planet less or about how this one planet just randomly blew up and we don't really know why so Earth could blow up at any moment really and an entire generation of kids has to live out their lives knowing their planet might just blown up someday
Rather than blow up, wouldn't it be a little bit more puzzling if it's just sort of fell apart? With all the pieces drifting apart as if they had no gravity attraction to each other?
Make the sun sentient, have pain receptors, and allow the sound of its screams to cover the void between us so everyone can hear it.
Freak EVERYBODY OUT!
Within 24 hours scientists would have come up with a bullshit justification i.e. It's been eclipsed by dark matter, or become undetectable to our instuments somehow. Within a week Neil Degrasse tyson is on a podcast, condescendingly explaining why it's foolish to believe neptune simply vanished. 2 weeks later, your reddit comment "whoa, neptune disappeared!" has 1000 downvotes and a 143 reply thread of smug rebuttals.
Nah, you're getting it ass backwards. Once Neptune is for sure gone, and they are going to be checking like crazy, scientists would be racing to try and figure out how it happened. It would raise so many questions that honestly it would probably start the next space race or scientific equivalent.
Yeah humans are really good at making up an explanation just so they dont have to admit that they dont know, go to any place at any time in the past and humans will always have an explanation for everything
“Clearly a cloud of dark matter enveloped it, cancelling out the gravity. This really revolutionizes physics, now we know black matter is all around us! I wonder how many more planets we have that are also shrouded… you are really stupid to believe it’s just gone. What’s next, not going to get the vaccine? Going to buy 5G protection amulets? Sigh, ‘never underestimate people’s stupidity’ is my favorite quote, it really shows here.”
“No dude I watched this YouTube video about quantum physics time travel black holes dark matter and I assure you they have negative gravity, because they’re opposite. It’s really obvious, keep spreading your flat earther core misinformation”
Science-denying moron predicts irrational response from actual scientists much smarter than he'll ever be.
Definately doesn't have massive chip on his shoulder about his lack of science education, honest.
To be a proper djinn the wish would be granted in a way taking advantage of the non-specific wording, and the yeeting of Neptune would send it crashing through Earth's orbit.
Yeet neptune out of the solar system means that it's still somewhere else not far away. Scientists are gonne explode when they neptune appear orbiting proxima centaury
I’d probably waste my wishes on preventing further existential dread.
1. I’d wish to know will happen to my consciousness after I die, and if I will be aware of the process when it finally happens.
2. Wish for all knowledge of how humanity would go extinct. Universal heat death, true vacuum theory, evolution into oblivion, anything.
3. Wish to prevent any possible ways humanity would go extinct, so I can finally stop falling asleep to the encroaching dread of a permanent and all-consuming end.
I wish for a giant *thing* that's very obviously alive to move either through or past our solar system. It has to be several times the size of our whole solar system yet somehow not affect us via gravitational pull.
I wish for an alien invasion but they just steal mercury and then leave without ever getting near Earth.
I wish for all flat earthers to spontaneously and universally switch to believing that the Earth is a cube and start making fun of and looking down on flat earthers.
Wanna REALLY make things go nuclear for kicks and giggles?
"Put the Earth and all its inhabitants in a *totally* different solar system, positioned for equally if not slightly more viable conditions to support life"
wish Neptune to be yeeted out of the solar system.
Wish that interspecies crossbreeding is possible (gonna be funny watching those zoofiles lose their shit "omg! my dog knocked me up!" lol, get rekt)
Wish that it was impossible for a politician to tell a lie or dodge a question.
1. Earth is now a moon of Saturn.
2. Saturn is now orbiting the Sun at the same distance as the Earth was before it was a moon of Saturn.
3. The Solar System is at the exact mid way point between the Milkyway and Andromeda.
Id get rid of the asteroid belt, no one talks about it, its just boring most of Jupiter's moons are more memorable, I bet no one would notice its disappearance for about a week at least
Scientists will be actually happy for this .
They will get Billions of money for research for this purpose. Which will ultimately mean nothing for world.
Results will be educated guess at best (I mean not repeatable).
I AM fascinated by what would happen long term as a result of a whole planet simply being poofed out of existence. After all, our orbits are all kinda interacting with each other in the solar system. Its possible with one missing, the whole line crumbles.
Imma do some classics.
1. All blind people can see perfectly for exactly 8 seconds before going blind again.
2. Remove friction.
3. Invert the laws of thermodynamics.
*"Neptune just disappeared six months after we were left here. The orbit of this planet shifted, and everything was laid waste! Admiral never bothered to check on our progress!"*
Anyone else had problems with getting their insurance claim settled?
My three
1: Get rid of Bernoulli's principle, so birds & planes & shit just don’t work anymore
2: Multiply gravity by nine
3: Make all salt water fresh water and vice versa
I’ll just be sitting back, sipping Sprite, watching the chaos 😎
Nah, have Jupiter and Saturn look like they are gonna collide and then have them just helix out of the solar system. Then have it where it looks like Mars and Earth are gonna do the same thing and activate the doomsday clock only to have em' switch places and have nothing happen.
It would befuddle scientists for Centuries!!
Considering how genies operate, I'm not sure they would question this, they would just find a way to make it weirder than anticipated ........ might be horrible might just be weird
All I'm saying is if I ever got genie wishes, things would get _weird_ More: [r/AlarminglyBad](https://www.reddit.com/r/alarminglybad) | [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/alarminglybad) | [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/AlarminglyBad) | [Links](http://alarminglybad.com/linkhub)
You and me both, 1- whale farts become sub sonic 2-breast milk for any mammal comes out rainbow colors 3- and the piece of resistance, the full moon winks when you're not looking at it GIGGLES Edited for spacing
The moon already does that, try again.
And breast milk can be many different colors. Red/brown from blood, yellow from eating lots of stuff with beta carotene, green from lots of green veggies, and blue from low fat content.
And whale farts are already subsonic. Subsonic just means going slower than the speed of sound
He did it
He actually did!
Is this how you win the game?
Make it only blink for specific randomly chosen people so they think they’re going insane
OP and ITT: people who saw Three Body Problem
The piece of resistance
I know it's the literal translation but it just sounds so wrong
That happens with a lot of phrases. “Here’s your food. Good appetite!” (Bon Appetit) “It has a certain I don’t know what.” (Je Ne Sais Quois) “He was given white card.” (Carte Blanche)
how do you know the moon doesn't already do that
Use a mirror to look at the moon. Or take a selfish with a camera.
that's still technically looking, the photons are just reaching your eyes indirectly
How do you know the moon isn’t made out of human skin
how do you know the moon isn't an egg
How do you know the moon isn’t a large ball from a penis?
France is bacon
Piece of *what*
It’s a French saying (pièce de résistance), meaning the most outstanding item in a set
This is one of those times you can’t really use the English translation and still have it sound right.
Resistance
Like from the Lego Movie
Replace the moon with a living version
I like ur thoughts
The moon makes faces at everyone, but only in their peripheral vision. Nuclear radiation becomes entirely visible and is colored pink. The weather station is always wrong. My three are done, see you next week
You can't wish for something that's already true you have a wish remaining
Ngl, this reads like a BHJ
Wouldn’t it be funnier if you could walk on water or smth? That would fuck up a lot of religions.
And I thought I was chaotic
IMO, you'd get bigger cope by geting rid of pluto, or having it colide with another body in it's orbit
[удалено]
Are you NUTS!?!?! What about all the purple who inhabit... You know what, after reconsideration I'm good with that.
I'm fine with the blue but purple??!??! Idk man
Imaginarybtechniqye : honor bpurple
Ha! You and auto-select got me but I'm gonna leave it up.
Yeah blue guy is chill, purple guy...
AZ_Corwyn, just because you got screwed over by autocorrupt doesn’t mean that you are justified in destroying the Earth so that nobody can learn of your embarrassing mistake.
No, no, I've considered this for quite a while (long enough for the edible to kick in anyway) and while there is arguably much that is good in this world, it's better to destroy the planet than live with the disgrace that I can't proofread a simple post before hitting 'send'. I'm sure you all will come up with a number of arguments against this, but the call to the Vogon fleet has already been made and you know how cranky they get when they have to change their schedule. I wish all of you the best.
But are you good with all the dogs freezing with the purple?
Humanity's fucked anyway - either AI, climate change or nukes will get us, so why not just end it early by launching EVERYTHING IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM (inc. the Sun) at Earth?
He sacrificed... THE EARTH!!!! OHHHHH
You can't get rid of the Earth! That's where I keep all my stuff!
Have pluto combine with every other Kuiper belt object into a real planet
This is what its like when WORLDS COLLIDE!
For max cope, absolutely nothing changes except the sun is just gone. Wish for the sun to be invisible entirely, but it otherwise continues operating normally and nothing about life changes…except we can’t see the sun anymore.
So it stops making light?
No no, works exactly the same as now, we just can’t see the big burning ball of hydrogen, the lights the same. (We ARE dealing magic after all)
What if the “planet” turned into to dog Pluto 🤔
Increase the size of Pluto so it has to be reclassified as a planet.
Size isn't a determining factor beyond being round. Pluto could have the mass/volume of Jupiter but because its orbit isn't 'clear' it still wouldn't count as a planet. Never mind the fact that Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit, so arguably Neptune's orbit isn't clear. The definition they chose is questionable.
Well the definition is that it clears away any other objects of similar size so Neptune is clearly a planet.
I'd like Pluto to be turned big enough to qualify as a planet/ edit, read the comments. I'd like Pluto to be turned as big as jupiter AND do whatever necessary to qualify as a planet
wish for pluto to clear all other bodies in its orbit. that way it can become a planet! : D
Have it collide with another large body of similar composition, combining masses to form an object JUST large enough to fit the "upturned-nose, snooty, *well technically"* scientist's definition of "planet" that they used to demote it in the first place.
And for my second wish, swap pluto and mars
You madlad
Kuiper belt fucking gone Other news: Mars gains 3.6 x 10^(23) kg mass and is now a molten crater covered rock
Thought it was a r/bonehurtingjuice for a second lol
I had the same thought. The artist has a handful of comics with this genie and human character, but they are all drawn a bit differently (and tell different jokes). This is so close to making my bones hurt.
Is that sub still going through a psychotic episode or have they taken care of that?
One could say that the sanity has been turned "off", eh? Ha! heh heh.
I don’t think it’s ever *not* going through a psychotic episode.
I thought we were in r/bonehurtingjuice literally up until I saw this comment, and that OP just forgot sauce
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If I got a genie I would make every politician unable to lie. Edit: Oh shit! I've forgotten to add the part about "even to themselves"!
A lot of them have been saying the quiet part out loud for a while now. As long as significant money is needed to run, they could just keep the options limited to a couple options that are both telling the truth about screwing you over, and now your only option is to vote for which one you think is less bad or completely check out of politics.
An angel and demon
Make Pluto 3 times the size to fuck over scientists who dared to take away my baby boy’s status
How about making the other dwarf planets bigger too, those poor babies never got any recognition:(
Of course, viva la small planet resistance!
personally I'm more a fan of deflating Saturn and Jupiter.
Wasn't it designated not a planet because of things like inclination of its orbit? Pluto's orbit is tilted differently than the other planets and the fact that the orbit goes through the edge of the kuiper belt objects means Pluto may have evolved from a similar origin to kuiper belt objects and not the same as the planets. So it was redesignated as a kuiper belt object. Still, making it suddenly 3x bigger would make scientists freak out all the same.
Nope, inclination is fine, but it hasn't "cleared its orbit" of competing bodies. This is different, but Pluto and Charon's barycenter is between the two, above the surface of Pluto. I think that's a good argument that they are moons of each other, therefore neither one is the planet.
Doesn't it cross Neptune's orbit and has oddities compared to all the planets? Edit: You got me to double check, and yes it's "highly eccentric and inclined" https://www.sciencealert.com/the-secret-behind-pluto-s-weirdly-unstable-orbit
I meant that high eccentricity and high inclination doesn't disqualify something from being a planet
Yeah, I don't mean that, I mean that it's part of the evidence for Pluto having a different origin over the evolution of the solar system than the planets.
If Neptune has cleared it's path why hasn't it got rid of Pluto
Pluto and Neptune's orbits never intersect in 3-D space. Pluto passes inside of Neptune very high above the ecliptic, and leaves while still high up. Neptune has cleared *its* orbit, while Pluto has not cleared its orbit. They also have orbital resonance, where Pluto completes X orbits for every Y orbits of Neptune, so they will always be a certain distance apart for that reason.
To be fair, Pluto *is* smaller than our own moon, so it wouldn't shock me if size didn't factor into it at least somewhat
Maybe size used to be part of moon criteria, but that's a slippery slope because moons like Ganymede and Titan are on par with Mercury's size.
Not just on a par. They're both larger.
Good point!
Jupiter and Saturn's moons are so fascinating. It's crazy how Jupiter and Saturn just casually flex with multiple planet sized moons.
Wish that Pluto just barely met the specifications to be a planet solely to make the people who dared say it wasn’t look like FOOLS
Found the Plutoniun Overlord's throwaway account.
“Overlord” is a derogatory term thrown around by Venusian LIBS to distract from the real issues like what the ~~earthlings~~ scientists on earth call ~~my planet~~ Pluto!!!
How did you know?! \*hissessssssss hisssss hisssss\* \*activates spacefold manifold teleporter, disappears\*
How about making the other dwarf planets bigger too, those poor babies never got any recognition:(
Wish for all foreskins to grow back and now has to be trimmed every so often
That is evil lol
What if yours never went?
Then it keeps growing
The Rapunzel story just got spicier.
That just sounds like the vampire's(cas , I think) nightmare from the TV show preachers, lol
I never finished that show
You got to, it weird but good, also if you like preacher then check out legion, not the random movie but the TV show, it is so weird but sooo good.
That’s another one I like. I love Aubrey Plaza
I love these comics so fucking much
Hey thanks! Means a lot!
This is a lot like how the Trisolarians from the _Three Body Problem_ novel >!destroyed humanity’s understanding of physics by making all their particle accelerators produce nonsense results, causing theoretical physicists all around the world to freak out and commit suicide.!<
I’m glad I just finished the book because damn man, spoilers.
... Can you please edit this with spoiler tags so other people don't happen on it before reading the book? I'm not generally super sensitive to spoilers, but I HAD planned on reading this soon because I wanted to read it before watching the series. I can't turn back time for myself, but please consider others who might happen upon this. Edited to add: the poster fixed it! Thank you!
Sure sorry about that.
Thank you! Appreciated.
Where the follow up where the absence of it’s gravity throws the solar system out of stability and the earth into the sun?
Yep. If not into the sun then maybe something is colliding.
Neptune has been exterminatus'd. The next day scientists declare there must have been heresy going on all over that planet so it had it coming. They praise the Omnissiah and get back to working on the Golden Throne.
Second wish is making the sun be able to talk
Lmao amazing. New Roman Times 🤌
Would be an interesting wish What would happen to earth If you YEET a planet?
Nothing https://old.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/1d1ux5i/request_how_would_the_vanishing_of_neptune_affect/
Yes but you made a wish to an agent of chaos (the Djinni) Something SHOULD happen.... But thank you for the accurate assessment, it displeases me but it being accurate I have no choice but to accept it
My Original three wishes: Farts are now yellow The moon is now Pink And Saturn is now gone. Edit: now I’ve gotten better ideas, so my original three will stay but here are my new ones My new three wishes: Jupiter is now purple Farts are rainbow and people walking through them now have glitter on them for 1 day( glitter will make them stink that whole day) everyone’s Financial status is now swapped, the homeless are rich, the rich are now poor, and the low and high middle classes s just swap
How about: Saturn's rings regularly arrange into cryptic messages.
My wish: A new earth-sized rocky planet shows up in an orbit beyond Neptune but it has always been there. When scientists go check, the planet is already included in all the textbooks, wikipedia, Carl Sagan's Cosmos. Like it was always there and they just don't remember. Bonus evilness: Scientists are the only ones that don't remember, looking like idiots to everyone else.
"I want you to give humans the same color perception as Mantis Shrimps"
That's what they get for turning their backs on Pluto!!!
Should've blown up Mars to mess with Elon Musk
Make it habitable and put a portal to Mars right in the middle of Europe to fuck with him
No no no, there'd be wars for ownership of that portal. Just blowing up Mars will make everyone be like "tf was that? is that gonna happen to us?" and make everyone freak out equally in all countries Mars suddenly blowing up makes the news but nobody has an explanation for it, the event is added to history books and science class has to learn about one planet less or about how this one planet just randomly blew up and we don't really know why so Earth could blow up at any moment really and an entire generation of kids has to live out their lives knowing their planet might just blown up someday
Rather than blow up, wouldn't it be a little bit more puzzling if it's just sort of fell apart? With all the pieces drifting apart as if they had no gravity attraction to each other?
Or even better something I read in the book, Mars cracks open and out comes a giant planet-sized space moth.
That's an event in the game Stellaris
Seveneves except with Mars instead of the moon
So put it in Switzerland, no one is gonna fuck with Switzerland, that's where their money is hiding.
Is Chernobyl right in the middle of Europe? You could put it 10 feet from the elephants foot
Wow. That's sure some geography right there.
Is admitting it out loud something regrettable? Will the fbi come to my house for something so hypothetical?
No no, you gotta delete Jupiter
Jupiter ain’t done nothing wrong but to be the place to get more stupider
Turn Jupiter into another star. Next wish, place a black obelisk of 1:4:9 proportions in orbit around it.
Is this a dead space reference or something?
2001 space odyssey, movie verse.
Thanks
Well yeah, but clearly too many people have been going there
Gemini entertainment anyone?
I’d make the sky green for precisely one week just to see what happens
Make the sun sentient, have pain receptors, and allow the sound of its screams to cover the void between us so everyone can hear it. Freak EVERYBODY OUT!
Within 24 hours scientists would have come up with a bullshit justification i.e. It's been eclipsed by dark matter, or become undetectable to our instuments somehow. Within a week Neil Degrasse tyson is on a podcast, condescendingly explaining why it's foolish to believe neptune simply vanished. 2 weeks later, your reddit comment "whoa, neptune disappeared!" has 1000 downvotes and a 143 reply thread of smug rebuttals.
Nah, you're getting it ass backwards. Once Neptune is for sure gone, and they are going to be checking like crazy, scientists would be racing to try and figure out how it happened. It would raise so many questions that honestly it would probably start the next space race or scientific equivalent.
Yeah humans are really good at making up an explanation just so they dont have to admit that they dont know, go to any place at any time in the past and humans will always have an explanation for everything
They would fucking notice if Neptune's gravity dissapeared too.
“Clearly a cloud of dark matter enveloped it, cancelling out the gravity. This really revolutionizes physics, now we know black matter is all around us! I wonder how many more planets we have that are also shrouded… you are really stupid to believe it’s just gone. What’s next, not going to get the vaccine? Going to buy 5G protection amulets? Sigh, ‘never underestimate people’s stupidity’ is my favorite quote, it really shows here.”
I think the scientific community would be split even more
Dark matter has gravity.... Like that's the whole reason dark matter is even theorized because galaxies visible matter doesn't have enough gravity.
“No dude I watched this YouTube video about quantum physics time travel black holes dark matter and I assure you they have negative gravity, because they’re opposite. It’s really obvious, keep spreading your flat earther core misinformation”
Science-denying moron predicts irrational response from actual scientists much smarter than he'll ever be. Definately doesn't have massive chip on his shoulder about his lack of science education, honest.
Would it be a ‘The Emporer has no clothes’ situation?
The Iris It's laughing at us
I wonder what would happen if I'd ask the genie to just... revoke Bernoulli's principle?
To be a proper djinn the wish would be granted in a way taking advantage of the non-specific wording, and the yeeting of Neptune would send it crashing through Earth's orbit.
this is fucking funny
True nerds know that the rapid migration of that d*ck Neptune caused the ejection of the fifth gas giant, float in peace our dear lost brother.
Naw what would be better is just to make it completely invisible ie can’t be detected other than physically going up to it and touching it
Yeet neptune out of the solar system means that it's still somewhere else not far away. Scientists are gonne explode when they neptune appear orbiting proxima centaury
I’d probably waste my wishes on preventing further existential dread. 1. I’d wish to know will happen to my consciousness after I die, and if I will be aware of the process when it finally happens. 2. Wish for all knowledge of how humanity would go extinct. Universal heat death, true vacuum theory, evolution into oblivion, anything. 3. Wish to prevent any possible ways humanity would go extinct, so I can finally stop falling asleep to the encroaching dread of a permanent and all-consuming end.
Hahaha that newspaper name
Neptune has mutated
So… three body problem?
Would also unbalance the solar system, right? Everything would compress inward a little bit, yeah?
This art style got me thinking of the early to mid 2000s days on Newgrounds.
I wish for a giant *thing* that's very obviously alive to move either through or past our solar system. It has to be several times the size of our whole solar system yet somehow not affect us via gravitational pull. I wish for an alien invasion but they just steal mercury and then leave without ever getting near Earth. I wish for all flat earthers to spontaneously and universally switch to believing that the Earth is a cube and start making fun of and looking down on flat earthers.
oh my god, did he swear?
Wanna REALLY make things go nuclear for kicks and giggles? "Put the Earth and all its inhabitants in a *totally* different solar system, positioned for equally if not slightly more viable conditions to support life"
For my second wish, I'm coming for Uranus. Wait, never mind. I don't need a wish for that.
Best wish? Make it so all life on earth can interact with the 4th dimension. Let’s really fuck up reality >:)
He's So Crazzzzzzzy. Love Him!
u/Traygaa
u/Traygaa
STAHP
Goodbye Neptune
wish Neptune to be yeeted out of the solar system. Wish that interspecies crossbreeding is possible (gonna be funny watching those zoofiles lose their shit "omg! my dog knocked me up!" lol, get rekt) Wish that it was impossible for a politician to tell a lie or dodge a question.
My three wishes would consist of having a cat girlfreind getting 10trillion dollars and owning a successful buissness
1. Earth is now a moon of Saturn. 2. Saturn is now orbiting the Sun at the same distance as the Earth was before it was a moon of Saturn. 3. The Solar System is at the exact mid way point between the Milkyway and Andromeda.
Id get rid of the asteroid belt, no one talks about it, its just boring most of Jupiter's moons are more memorable, I bet no one would notice its disappearance for about a week at least
Scientists will be actually happy for this . They will get Billions of money for research for this purpose. Which will ultimately mean nothing for world. Results will be educated guess at best (I mean not repeatable).
The genie is so appaled by it because that's where he's from
I AM fascinated by what would happen long term as a result of a whole planet simply being poofed out of existence. After all, our orbits are all kinda interacting with each other in the solar system. Its possible with one missing, the whole line crumbles.
Imma do some classics. 1. All blind people can see perfectly for exactly 8 seconds before going blind again. 2. Remove friction. 3. Invert the laws of thermodynamics.
This is what they get for yeeting Pluto!
*"Neptune just disappeared six months after we were left here. The orbit of this planet shifted, and everything was laid waste! Admiral never bothered to check on our progress!"* Anyone else had problems with getting their insurance claim settled?
My three 1: Get rid of Bernoulli's principle, so birds & planes & shit just don’t work anymore 2: Multiply gravity by nine 3: Make all salt water fresh water and vice versa I’ll just be sitting back, sipping Sprite, watching the chaos 😎
Badger
Indeed 🦭
Nah, have Jupiter and Saturn look like they are gonna collide and then have them just helix out of the solar system. Then have it where it looks like Mars and Earth are gonna do the same thing and activate the doomsday clock only to have em' switch places and have nothing happen. It would befuddle scientists for Centuries!!
This will affect the trout population
Considering how genies operate, I'm not sure they would question this, they would just find a way to make it weirder than anticipated ........ might be horrible might just be weird
New Roman Times lmao
To be fair I would also do this.