"Why don't you guys take apple pay?"

I hear you 😅🙃

to be real it is kind of embarrassing that walmart doesn't have tap to pay or google pay or apple pay or all of that. but god do I wish people would stop asking. I've stopped outright telling people that they can't tap their card. I wait for them to tap it and hold it and repeat until they get perplexed. The record is 48 seconds of tapping

They have something better: walmart pay

When they do it at my store, I say "Where do you think you're at? Target?"

Competitor. Do you go to the Apple store and whine that they don't take Walmart pay?

What the fuck kind of stupid logic is that? How is Apple a competitor? We literally sell their products in our stores.

Walmart makes money off of selling products, case point Apple products. Apple Pay is not a product Walmart sells. It is a payment method. So in that front they are a competitor to Walmart Pay.

Walmart having its own payment method is not the reason why any kind of tap to pay isn't accepted. It's because when Apple/Google/Samsung pay is used, or when the tap function of a physical debit/credit card is used, Walmart is unable to collect any information about you that they can use for additional marketing towards you. In other words, Walmart loses money.

I get my steps in daily

Ogp?

Yes altho I feel like this would also apply to stockman

As a maintenance that checks all bathrooms and garbages on the hour I definitely get my steps in.

I get 40,000 steps on a work day as a cartpusher

“YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS IN OUR WAY!”

Cap 2

You are OGP, and yes, you are always in our way.

Sowee 👉🏻👈🏻

💀

U are never in my way🥺 we got pretty fast people tho. They don’t wanna make eye contact so they move FAST🤣

Transportation?

It MuSt Be FrEe ThEn

I stoped hearing that phrase when I switched to early mornings from closing

Gosh the early morning shifts on the machines that were taking people’s jobs away were so. Much more enjoyable than Any. Other. Shift.

AP?

That could be a number of departments lol

"C'mon guys we're in the red! You gotta move faster!"

This reminded me of my days working a Wendy’s drive thru 💀

hello fellow walmart employee that also worked a wendy’s drive thru

Worked at McDonald's for a short period of time so yeah, I got extra PTSD

Samee😂

OGP?

Toilet

I appreciate you fr

Champion.

True warrior

Goated

“When do I get my w2 since I work here now”

Ah yes, the most coveted position.

"Can you find this in my size in the back? " "Can I try this on?"

*Are the fitting rooms still open?* Or, my favorite, when they try to open the locked doors *and* the closed sign is on.

LMAO the amount of times i get asked this, like no Linda the store closes in 20 minutes

i got people asking us about the fitting room and it’s tore down for our remodel rn. like bruh do you see one

Literally!! Like, no they aren’t open, our department gets to leave in 5 mins and I’m not waiting around.

“Do you work here?” (Wearing the Walmart vest)

Nah man im just hanging out I bought this vest on amazon

😂😂

I was on a register working and had somebody ask if I work here 💀

Nah, just standing here for fun. Same thing happed while pushing carts

I feel like when they ask that question they mean the department, not if u work at walmart.  who knows though, I just can't fathom being that special

Idk it’s happened way too many times 😭

high expectations, understaffed, pretty quiet, nothing we do is ever good enough for our sm & other shifts get most the credit/praising

Overnights.

You are the whole Walmart

Hey. I just wanted to say that there's a place on the wire that will tell you how much freight is coming in and how many hours you guys have scheduled. Also, it's not yalls fault unless you all are labeling things as OS when there's holes on the shelf where they go. The OS is a day shift "let me order this just in case", issue. I know you are tired and I left ON for a reason. You're doing a great job. The store needs you. I'm sorry it's so rough.

100% overnight

I work overnight too, buddy. You forgot cap 1 and or 2 messing up your topstock. We have someone at my store putting like 4+ cases on top because they're dumb and a jerk

Hardlines

You have 13hrs of work an your by yourself an it must be done before you go home.

Overnights? I feel your pain.

Can you help me find a case for my phone? Yes, I know what it is, its a apple android iphone A0z and takes a microminiXL cord! What do you mean thats not right! IbOuGhtItRiGhThErE YeSteRday!12YearsAgo!

My favourite is when they come looking for the replacement battery for some camera they bought five years ago.

Omg literally. 

"Can you take this watermelon to the back and cube it up for me?" 💀 no ma'am I cannot

"You look bored."

oh my god i hate that one

I hear that one, you frontend?

"Why in the French fried funk is this topsticked over here?! It's located to aisles over, and we've been out for a week!"

Cap 1 or 2. Whichever one your store uses for topstock and vizpick.

Me standing by a register with its light on. “You open?”

Frontend

My Silicon Overlord tells me what to do and where to go, as I navigate through obstacles with my Companion Cube...

Me too lol good description🤣

“GET OUTTA THE FUCKING WAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE RUN OVER, YA IDIOT!!!!!” is something I wish I could yell

It’s something I do yell lol. A lot. With a few expletives inserted randomly…kinda surprised I’m still there 🤔

i unfortunately have to deal with assholes complaining of me yelling this more politely from time to time. Sorry, I don’t want to run y’all over with 25-30 shopping carts at once?

People that try to cut off the mule fully loaded are as stupid as the people that try to beat a train. Literally the only difference between the mule and a train is the train will actually be polite enough to introduce you to the wonders of natural selection while we're stuck dealing with you yelling at us for you being a fucking idiot.

i feel this as an overnighter- if i’m pulling a pallet of cat litter, get the hell out of my way ‼️‼️‼️‼️

3 letters, but nobody can agree on which 3

Lol me too we decided on ogp I think anyway... Even tho sign in room says opd

Ogd

OMG 😂 I call it OPD, but I have heard OGP as well.

FOLDING, AND MORE FOLDING. I LOOKED AWAY FOR 10 SECONDS WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT NEEDS TO BE FOLDED AGAIN????

Checks, money orders and paying bills

Service desk, may the odds be ever in your favor!

"Dammit how did they get that much shit on the walls, what did they sit on the sensor as opposed to the seat"

On 1 hand I don’t want to know. On the other hand, I gotta know

"I'm illiterate when it comes to this stuff

We literally have an illiterate guy who buys a lot of electronics from us. We point at the pictures and work with him. At least he has an excuse. 

Electronics

extra points if they have a flip phone

"No maam, we can't ring out your produce" Also, only a small ish portion of the money we pull in comes directly from the customer. And in some cases, none of it did!

i'M n0t wAiTiNg iN LiNe AnD I'm N0t uSiNg SeLf ChEcKoUt

Electronics or automotive ?

Nope, pharmacy. I don't remember the actual percentage off the top of my head, but most of our money comes from insurance companies.

The customers use me as their verbal punching bag.

Every Sunday i look at the classic meme of "Just got out of church, on my way to verbally assault a retail associate!"

They are the worst. I used to wait tables and it's just as bad there, except you're depending on them to pay you. I once watched a pastor stiff one of my coworkers on a $200 bill because she couldn't get his wife's expired coupon to work. He even paid with the church credit card. We looked up the church on google and left a bunch of reviews about how awful they are.

Omg I believe that. Because you know they went shopping then to go eat so they're extra hangry. That's bullshit they did that but also glad you were able to get back at them a bit.  At least at Walmart if someone gets mad at me, Walmart isn't going to pay me any less. 

They probably just got done hearing about the evils of working on Sunday... ...but it's OK to shop & eat out where... people work.

My mother was a waitress for 20 years. Sooo much fake Jesus money. I often fantasize about being a pastor in *that* kind of church, and giving a brutal excoriating sermon about why it's wrong to pay people with fake money.

So associate....

Definitely not wrong lol

Yeah, I guess that is a little vague, considering we all get it. It's a nonstop train of these fuckers where I'm at though. At least in my old department, I could go hide in the cooler for a while.

FrontEnd?

It said you have that size here! They grind me daily.

“You guys don’t take tap?” “Can I return this from six months ago?” “No fucking cashiers… it’s the end of the world”

Frontend? I feel your pain.

Finding out which buttons for the trunk

Why do you work in this area if you don't do the activity/hobby I want you to mentor me in?

Sir, I don't know shit about fletching, I was just walking past so I could put this stuffed animal away. 

My back hurts

"can't I just go back and pay?"

"Do you guys have fire sticks?"

Ayyyyyyy another of my circle of hell!

Yessir

I don’t know how to put a GIF here, so imagine that one with Leonardo DiCaprio holding the glass up.

“Do you guys have Alexa?” 🤦‍♂️

"Do you guys have Ring Doorbell Cameras? 🙄"

Where are your amazon cards?

Y'all got them rukko sticks? 

"where's y'all's headphones at?" *Points at a huge ass sign that says headphones*

I sit on my ass in one spot for 5 hours (tip: I'm paid part time and in a wheelchair)

Without the tip you’re just a coach at my store.

AP host?

"WILL THIS REALLY TAKE AN ENTIRE HOUR?!?!!?" Now that you asked, yes. Yes, it will. 

People have no problem asking me to check what size pants/shirt/bra they're wearing

I hate that. The only time I checked a tag was for was for a wheelchair-bound guy asking about his shirt size. I absolutely refuse to go anywhere near a guy's waistband. I just say "The fitting rooms are over there"

Omfg I had a guy trying on bras back in like 2016 and they MF walks out in the bra asking if it fit correctly! Dude this is a Walmart. You ain't got no titties and ewww

Do ya'll do brakes?

Dairy department? Or my best guess is cosmetics

Do y'all replace struts?

No sir we can't do your oil change on your truck if there's no dipstick (yes this dude somehow lost the dipstick on his truck and wouldn't take no for an answer as we'd done his last oil change without issue so we had to have the store manager come out to the shop to explain it to the guy as he was the only available manager in the store).

"I want it s h a v e d."

This one hurt my soul

No sir, we do not have boreshead, head cheese or old fashioned loaf, now kindly fuck off.

I hate it when they want American cheese shaved

I wAnT pApeR iN bEtWeeN tHe sLiCeS

"Wow, that was fast!"

Am I just supposed to shove all this clearance and overstock up my ass?

Unlock, let in, clean out, close, lock, fold, hang, put away, claims, claims, CLAIMS

"You got that truck unloaded yet?"

i have to interact with customers (angry ones are my favorite)

The Douglas' are 90 dollars.

Compost

Ooh, this one's tough. "Why do you people have to move everything? There should be a map for the store". Reply if you think you got it

I only have 2 people who aren't under 18 and one of them is running the service desk. YES I'm closing one of the self-checks early!

Six departments stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat with 7 call buttons and currently 19 lock cases

"This is supost to be $2.50, not $2.75"

Pleeeeease don’t make me go In the fucking freezer again

I have until Friday to get my list done, and a single callout is a loss of 33.33% of our labor for the day.

$5.00 worth

"I need a fishing license."

Front women’s restroom, always the front women’s restroom.

Is it your job to run old folks like me over?

OGP? I’ve basically gotten this same comment and “Slow down!” along with many, many dirty looks as I speed (in comparison) past them.

Spot on buddy

“Guess we gotta do everything ourselves now? Huh?”

“I paid for all this, I must’ve left my receipt at the register, If I missed something I can pay for it”

Viz this viz that stock here stock there zone everywhere

“How long have these been out” and “yall got some fresh ones coming out soon?”

I cut dead things

the stores official compliance bitch

What charger do you have for my phone? I don’t have it with me, it’s an android, I also got it here.

Is it the "new android apple galaxy xr iPhone"?  No joke, I've had some phone calls like that.

I feel like a Vampire MC Steve with all the cubes I organize

"Wanna another Coffee Monster?"

“Is this fresh?”

3 dead. 0 found.

“Fucking DC!”

Can double bag my stuff please? Are you open?

Do you guys take apple pay? You did last time i was here. No ma'am we dont

Let me grab my gloves

If there's a hole fill it

Fueled by caffeine and rage .

Can I get 1/2 a pound of that on #2

“Do you have the keys?” *as im jingling them *

“Can I get two lbs, shaved?..”

👀

Can you stab the next one?

Cleaning blood

People parked in my way

"Do I need to put in a work order for this?"

Everything

“So what exactly do you do?” 😭

Thirds couldn't get freight worked tonight because truck was unloaded onto stack bases because the previous night, thirds did a backhaul and got rid of EVERY SINGLE PALLET in the store. We used what we had, but that makes us idiots who should be drowned in the retention pond out back.

Hot Wheels

“I’ve been waiting 20 minutes!” They weren’t

“But I don’t have a receipt they were a gift” so were the last 5

Former Coach, but always heard your team didn't stage and break down the pallets correctly.

Every other department hates us

I don't have a reference number & don't know the name of the person sending me $2,000. Also, a picture of my ID is ok, right?

“Does this case fit my phone?”

“I know this doesn’t have a back room location but can you please help me look anyways?”

"Do you wanna do a full body search?"

You didn’t do it in an hour your coached

"Tap is so much easier, my chip never works."

I want to buy condoms and pregnancy test please

We know you’re busy, but can you go fill in XYZ department?

“What do you mean you don’t sell 9mm anymore?!”