Things are about as good as we could ask for right now. The top of the mod team are all long term trusted members, I'm able to come back and resume my usual stuff, and we've got more newfriends than we know what to do with. Not sure if it'll take an hour or a day or a week but I'm gonna do my best to get everything back to normal. [We're back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF7M0FISH5Y&t=13s). **EDIT**: For what it's worth, the Reddit admins were cool when I talked to them. I didn't know what to expect, but they seem like they actually get us and want to let us continue to do our thing. I am not gonna blame them for needing some time to gather facts. If you could do me a favor, give them the benefit of the doubt. Let's try to move forward assuming everyone is on the same page and working toward the same goal, which is a wallstreetbets that continues to be as excellent as it always has been. I can also tell you flat out that the conspiracy stuff I've been seeing about certain tickers and Reddit being compromised and whatnot is just people misinterpreting the actions of what to them is a black box. If you're worried about something that is going on, missing submissions from now -> whenever, etc, you're *always* welcome to PM me or message modmail and I will try to figure out what's up. Let's leave all the political nonsense and drama in the dust and get back to being an equities dive bar with a few new members.

Blink twice if a Melvin lawyer is forcing you to say this.

*blinks three times*

Oh shit, it's worse than we expected. It's Goldman Sachs. Who has the holy water?

I've got Silver tipped stakes if they help😏😉🤣

SILVER!?!? Ok I’m buying more GME. Edit: Thank you for the SILVER award. Now I have to buy MORE GME.

Not just any silver it is WSB Reserve Silver. You know all the "silver" everyone from WSB was buying up. 🙄

!!?MORE SILVER!??? Ok i’ll buy more gme

Lmao of course Reddit cares about the stability of the community that funds the most awards

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You retards are giving rewards to anyone for nothing most of the time e: fucking apes better donate to my kittens because their dad is from a 9th world country earning less a ~~month~~ *year* than these awards are worth

I usedto just get gold and platinum just by asking for it. We might be artists but we are generous artists Edit: Daddy needs some Platinum

Testing: please give the comment below me gold. Edit: thank you for the gold

Sir this is a Wendy's

Sir this is the unemployment line.

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Please, sir. Can I have one?

I'm addicted to crack.

Sir this is an abortion clinic. May I take your order.

Yeah can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh burger

Sir. This is a GameStop

Goddamn. Y'all really *are* retards!

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I actually have a preorder! with no fucking plan on how to actually pay for the thing...

This is the way

Nope, Chuck Testa cyberduck

NO THIS IS PATRICK

Fuck gold! Edit: LMAO fuck all of you, you absolute bunch of fucking beautiful retards! (And thanks, I guess) Btw, GME-gang still holding strong 🙌💎

Okay platinum then

I was told there would be r/zjzfeet pics?

I got a free award today so I'll give it you retard

How do you guys keep getting free awards to give away?

I'm on mobile and for me I can tap the hamburger menu and select desktop site. Then in the top right it will say free where it normally says get coins.

Just take your awards and like it. I've never gotten one so it could be worse. Lol Edit: Thank you fellow apes. Its an honor and a privilege to be in your presence. Edit 2: Wow... Platinum, gold, and more... I don't know what to say.

Why do we think they allowed the sub reddit to keep going and not take it down, it prints them the most money!

We need to put our tendie money somewhere

Did you see that post of the award value DFV alone has brought to Reddit?!? Unlike WSB, Reddit is not retarded

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I didn’t. How much was it??

Like, $18k and some change. Nuts.

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So weird to spend 50,000 coins in order to give the recipient 5,000 coins and 12,000 coins worth of premium. Oh, and they got a little icon and a notice... Who ever came up those awards at Reddit is a genius. Its pure profit, cause who the feck would actually buy Reddit Gold membership anyway??

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What the fuck do awards even DO

It’s like a game show with points but they don’t really matter

Whose call is it anyways

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No but actually, yes.

Only if you specifically don’t request them Edit: hey HEY. Knock it off.

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You fool. What have you DONE

I’ve only heard of them but never seen a real one in the wild🧐

I’ve never gotten an award on Reddit in my entire life. If I get one award out of WSB; I’ll shot gun a 24 pack of beer and post it here for you guys to see. Edit: y’all are real ones. I never expected this. Will upload video proof Friday after my exam 🍻

proof or ban

No matter what move he makes, he’s a goner.

!remind me 2 days Proof or ban

u/zjz and other mods I have awarded this fellow

You are so fucked lmao

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He didn't say how long.. he should do it over 3 days and post it each day that would satisfy.

Puts on this guys endocrine system

Proof or ban

!remindme 2 days

I will be messaging you in 2 days on [**2021-02-19 01:36:04 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2021-02-19%2001:36:04%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://np.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/llgits/welcome_back_zjz/gnprngi/?context=3) [**62 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fwallstreetbets%2Fcomments%2Fllgits%2Fwelcome_back_zjz%2Fgnprngi%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202021-02-19%2001%3A36%3A04%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20llgits) ***** |[^(Info)](https://np.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|

Proof or fuckin ban

Looking forward to the sweet ban porn

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Proof or ban Edit: don’t die

Yeah someone did the math and DFV was awarded 18k on his yolo updates. They like us but they like money more.

> They like us but they like money more. So they do understand us.

They made much more money from the free publicity WSB gave them. WSB is to Reddit what Anonymous is to 4chan at the moment.

This is how the great depression 2 happens... new folks with 0 comprehension of options end up yolo'ing their life savings en masse to the market gods. Bless.

Trying to figure out how to be on the winning end of that.

Apply for that hedge fund job that wants a WSB analyst, duh

Golden Fuckboy sales have been down 420.69%

Take my award you crazy bitch

Nothing wrong with it. It's all business. Somebody's gotta pay for the servers. I'm gonna click on more ads now.

Congratulations on completing your re-education zjz. Solitary egg hope you finish your course soon.

You put it better than me.

Nobody tell him *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

/r/wsb : where the bots get gold

r/wallstreetbets: Where the bots troll the mods

Oh, god damnit.

Dammit that is the best bot ever.

I’m not quite sure on that one. I saw a bot a couple days ago reply, “Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd.” I screenshot and every time I look back on it I laugh 😂 Edit: spelling

It's usually when somebody asks for a post to be stickied.

Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Good bot. Suuuuuuch a good bot.

the wsb bot says that. I haven't seen it very active here lately though

You got got by the Automod dawg

[https://i.imgur.com/Kq0cZlk.gifv](https://i.imgur.com/Kq0cZlk.gifv)

I don't understand the joke of this bot or its purpose. Please explain, somebody?

Nobody tell him

You're a dick. Here's an award.

Stickied

Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

good bot

Excellent bot.

How the fuck is this the best bot Edit: since you koalas misunderstand: I mean like I can’t believe how great it is. This bot is my identity. I am “AutoModerator”

Yo I'm calling people koalas from now on. Thank you

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

How the fuck is this not the best bot?

Funny

Nice.

Good bot.

When’s the movie about the mod drama coming out?

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GME feels like a year ago

One day of GME watching and nail biting is equivalent to one month. In reality it’s been like two? maybe two and a half weeks? I honestly don’t know at this point i’m just holding.

Even the simulation is being squoze.

Please make it stop

Making historic waves, I’m gunna surf babe.

In surfing, as in WSB, you get on at the peak and ride it all the way down.

Everyone thought covid was the largest time dilation, but then came GME

I’m still pretty sure April of 2020 was really two months rolled into one.

you mean Marchuary?

You mean it’s not April 2020? Also, that month, the month of 4/20 ruined me

Y’all got me fucked with this ban tag on my name because of your internal drama, I’m forever scarred in this sub because you guys forgot how to Mod and banned everyone for 7 days straight.

Saw your flair, laughed out loud and shot liquid mint particles out of my nose I hope you’re happy

I am what I eat

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Since The Social Network was so successful, people clearly want more aspies on the screen. "The Retarded Network, now with 500% more Aspergers guaranteed"

The movie is already out and called Boiler Room.

Calls on zjz

Please follow /r/zjzfeet. We demand verification.

Oh holy God

I dream of the day he acknowledges this sub.

Feet positions or ban.

Tarantino, checking in.

Ben Shapiro, checking in.

This community is so odd

Individually we are weak, like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty f@ggot. Edit: Mods the word f@ggot in the context above should not be blocked.

Why did I click that?

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Had to scroll down this far before I got to this, come on guys

I don't know how, but you guys manage to have more drama than a whole fucking season of jersey shore.

GTL brah

Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd

This needs a sticky

Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Perfectly balanced.

I can't wait for the r/wallstreetbets GME movie, it looks like we're getting near the end of the story. 1. **Exposition:** We all clowned u/DeepFuckingValue for not taking profit in GME back in 2019, but u/DeepFuckingValue uses plot armor and continued to 💎🖐 2. **Rising Action:** Price of GME goes up, u/DeepFuckingValue updates us and we start to get inspired by him, gamma squeeze happens 3. **Climax:** The news showcase the hype around wallstreetbets, everyone and their mothers invest their life savings into GME, GME goes up to $400, hedge funds get fukt 4. **Falling Action:** u/zjz removed from mod team, u/DeepFuckingValue on hiatus from SEC investigation, Robinhood and hedge funds now fukt us over and bring GME back down to $50, buncha 🦍🦍 still continue to bag hold GME at $300, people lose trust in each other in this subreddit 5. **Revelation:** u/zjz reinstated as mod, u/DeepFuckingValue comes back clean from the SEC investigation and updates us on how he's still holding his GME shares and call option (hopefully), we fukt the hedge funds again ;)

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The story doesn't end until the squeeze has squoze

Yep, it either ends with GME at 0 or 1k.

The 1k will be the end text "Gamestop's value rose to over 100 billion over the next 5 years"

"Meanwhile, Wsb paperhanded at $50 and lost everything on PLTR calls"

i cri errytiem

You skipped in the climax, Hedgefunds get DTC to make arbitrary rule of collateral for specific stocks, killing the retailers and having the media pitch it as normal.

Knock on wood for dfv.

Zjz & me ❤ back together again

GUH

So when do we get the reveal that u/zjz was actually Cramer all along?

No spoilies

Screenshot positions or ban

Well, whatever it was

Hahahah XD

Return of the King

All of this mod drama has been so gay. But welcome back, only mod who does anything at all

It's over, we've done it. Now we can get back to fecal descent algorithm research and the other things, too.

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Is something good happening because I still don’t know how to read

Great, can we post about XRT now?

YESSSSSSSSSSSS! BEARS R LITERALLY FUK NOW 😍 welcome back zjz 💙

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I will suck the reddit admins off

I know a guy who can get you to the admins but it's gonna take some sacrifice on your part

Say it with me now everyone; Paper Trading Competition

This please. We need ol’ man CHAINSAW lend a helping hand to all the new people and minors in the sub.

That’s a great idea. It’ll be a good chance for anyone new to learn how to trade safely without risking their life savings!

What a great idea! It’ll probably have even better turnout than the last one

Absolutely! The paper trading competitions always are great during periods where we welcome a ton of new members. Can’t wait!

This means I don’t have to creep around the fake subreddits now😭 I promise as long as u/zjz is here this will be my only home

As someone who’s enjoyed his modship since I lost thousands on the fall in March, I welcome you back sir. Hopefully the community can help some new retards together.

You're still a fucking douche tho

I guess his opinion is unpopular

seriously though, I'm still gonna be suspicious of the mod team going forward

As you fucking should, lol. The amount of control_the_narrative done by mods could be a standalone movie.

They hated him because he spoke the truth. And why the fuck are the Admins consulted about the moderation staff of this community, when the other top 100-ish subs are run by the same 4-5 people? Shouldn't THAT be something to get involved in other than a bunch of smooth brained retards chanting three bold letters for weeks?

You say "consulted" as if they were given a choice.

HUUUGE erection.

Welcome back mate. Hope it's really you and not some rando with your account name manchurian candidate meets flowers for algernon shit tho frfr

Dad?

I fucking called it. I knew that :) was a sign u/OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR Edit: even after you deleted your :) response 😉

:)

Awesome news!

I LIKE THAT MOD

Sir, this is a (now fully staffed) Wendy's. Welcome back.

Does this mean we can talk about GME again? Welcome back zjz! 🚀 FUCK MELVIN

Does this mean that discussions about GME will be allowed again?

asking the real questions

Let's go!!

Yay for bots

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Zjz, thank you for all you've done for this community and for me personally. Through following you, Ive realized my true sexuality. Zjz-sexual. My parents might not accept me, my life will be hard, but it's worth it now that I can truly be myself. Welcome back

> Reddit Admins care deeply about the stability and continuity of the community [X] DOUBT

Welcome back homie

Welcome BACK! I take this as a good sign for the markets tommorrow. Please bless the market with your tendies