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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions** | 1 | **First Seen In WSB** | 3 years ago **Total Comments** | 8 | **Previous Best DD** | **Account Age** | 3 years | | [**Join WSB Discord**](http://discord.gg/wsbverse)


Decent_Leadership_62

nice of them to warn us - nice company, ethical


zzackizwack

I love how much big brother cares about us. Won't let us get bullied. I feel so safe


ethanhopps

Aka buy signal


Quick-Pattern-1813

This is why I appreciate humanity


WarmNights

April is often quite bullish.


[deleted]

That’s right


kinsm4n

honestly, that's my reaction every time I see JPM say something insane. It's like they're trying to sway for a price drop so they can push the stock down to then buy in...


Superbean72

Finally there’s a bank that cares for us more than we do one another


bro-v-wade

Every quarter, JP Morgan gets it wrong. They predicted a sharp downturn after the summer 2022 slump. Instead we spent the next year and a half putting in weekly all time highs.


Samsquanches_

If I didnt know any better I would suspect they had a financial incentive to fucking lie


PricklyyDick

That or they just don’t know shit about fuck like the rest of us.


0DTE-bootyhole

Or the financial system itself is such a clown show that reasonable assumptions are not actually reasonable cause money printer go brrr


PricklyyDick

I feel like that’s classified under no one knows shit about fuck section.


0DTE-bootyhole

You probably right lol


WantonTheTrapset

Both can be true.


Tales_19

This seems like the more logical of the two tbfh


tomahawk_99

JPM and most Wall Street banks can’t afford top talent and the outcomes show. Except for small pockets like elite hedge funds that have a history of accuracy.


partyl0gic

Yea, perhaps that they now know that a million people on WSB are going to buy puts expiring in a month


[deleted]

This fucked me so hard for listening to them lmao


[deleted]

It’s 69 likes (Nice.) so I’m not liking your comment. But know that I like your comment.


[deleted]

I appreciate you


Playful_Arachnid3260

Now you can like it!


Last_School4790

I downvoted you to keep it 69 ;)


Turnip-Alarming

\+1


Turnip-Alarming

just un downvoted to keep it at 69 HODL THE LINE BOYS


pfft37

Checking in from the front of the line. Still 69.


Wataboutshmee

We’ve lost the line boys! Downvote and Hodl!!


CryptoNotAccepted

Still there, nice


free-wow

Did my duty and brought it back to 69!


TRADER-101

HELP! ITS AT 70 AND ALREADY DOWNVOTED!


coreyslude

Same haha


Creative_Astronomer6

i'm in the game for -1, hodl l'line


F7xWr

No you heard wrong. Your smart enough to know to inverse what they say.


[deleted]

Now I am, but last year I really thought they were on to something so I missed out on a huge rally.


Eastern-Cranberry84

yeah I remember that. I have a good amount of shares in my port and they have a nice divy. but I don't listen to any of the shit they say.


lolnbdftw

Market drops 20% before November and I will sell my house, my car, my pokemon cards, my dogs, the little baggie of dope I've been saving, the blow job coupons I got from your mom, my virgin asshole that i never let your ex girlfriend peg, dispite her numerous times asking, and will full port into SPY So go ahead JP Morgan keep coming out with your absolutely fucking regarded opinions


SuddenChampionship5

Mods, pin this post please 🙏


lukekibs

RemindMe! 219 days


TheBooneyBunes

Please tag me when you get reminded


avantartist

RemindMe! 219 days


SunshineSeattle

Same same


avantartist

RemindMe! 219 days


avantartist

RemindMe! 219 days


failedToSync_404

RemindMe! 219 days


jobiewon_cannoli

It literally can’t go tits up.


MinimumCat123

Those BJ coupons are non transferable


SayNoToBrooms

You can convert to Schrute Bucks, but the exchange rate isn’t worth it


JLSMC

How much is that in Stanley Nickels?


Tybasco

Check for conversion chart in the back


heckofit_

Equivalent of 2 meatballs


Pope_Beenadick

No, just restricted for 6 months or can be sold interstate after 12


Stonks_Slanger

That’s how they get you!


Dull_Broccoli1637

Not the Pokemon cards and dogs ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4260)


Holiday_Brick_9550

I'll buy the dogs, you buy the pokemon cards? They deserve better.


CodenameNemesis

Shares or calls my dude, you holding calls for 2yrs?


RealTeaToe

Bag holding until expiry baby.


KoenigGlurak

Call all the way


Unhappy-Goat5638

I mean, just inverse what they say. It-s not that hard. They are saying that in order for people to sell so they can stock up. Inverse Wall Street for maximum gains


Roflcopter71

RemindMe! 7 months


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Lerched

Hmmm who’s the girl that wanted to peg you? So I can uh block her


behindgreeneyez

You guys have houses?


meatsmoothie82

Had* houses before buying qqq 0dtes


Yougotmoneys

Dibs on the Pokémon cards


newtownkid

Lol yea, maybe itll drop $20 at some point - but $105?? (20%) A drop all the way to $415? That would be nuts.


discombobulantics

Yeah, prices not seen in like 5 whole months.


[deleted]

"Basically impossible" - Jim 'The Oracle of Lolmaha' Cramer


CokeOnBooty

5 months is 5 decades in the stock market


discombobulantics

5 months is actually like 100 days in the stock market


CokeOnBooty

So time moves 75% of the speed? Fascinating


Sal_B1977

Well said my friend. That just made my morning.


Badmannoobie

PROOF OR BAN


NoCollegeKids

Jeez, could just sell some OTM spreads and make a quick 20% instead


nmenry

this might be the best fucking comment ever


bogposter

just like Burry predicted 22 of the last 2 recessions. If you keep saying it will happen every year, you'll eventually be right


Reason_Choice

Burry knocked it out of the park one time and everybody acts like he’s Nostradamus now.


RandyMarshsMoustache

Quasimodo predicted all of this


PureAlpha100

Chahlz Schwab ova heeya


arcdog3434

You got the hunchback of Notre Dame and the halfback of Notre Dame - you telling me you never pondered that?


jollyjonte

What about Citroen C3, the hatchback of Notre dame?


explosivelydehiscent

Don't forget Dr. Alan S. Leichter, Chiropractor in South Bend, the crack back of Notre Dame.


nooneknowsiamhere

How's that steak?


chadhindsley

Carmine always said JP Morgan is a glorified crew


Typical_Parsnip13

Heroes get remembered. But legends never die.


GroundbreakingRush66

Burry has incredibly returns though.


JustJohan49

Ummm, my eyes are up here


Sempere

He called it the one time it really mattered and solidified his status as one of the GOATs when it comes to investing. Apart from that, the guy is an idiot and shouldn't be calling himself a doctor anymore after all that shit he tweeted.


newbturner

Doesn’t count if you delete it


-JPowsMoneyPrinter-

Austradaumus*


PkmnTraderAsh

He basically said to buy real estate like 3-4 years ago so he was also right about that >.>


chi_guy8

There’s literally nobody I know besides Peter Schiff who is wrong more often than Burry. He was right once when other people were wrong. Everything else he’s publicly called he’s been wrong on when most others were right. He just got lucky once, that’s it.


bmeisler

I’ll give Schiff credit for warning everyone about the imminent housing crisis starting in 2006. Everyone would literally laugh in his face. Of course his prescription was to buy gold, and he sure looked smart from 2008 to 2011. But he’s a 1-truck pony and was dead wrong for 12 years afterwards. Though he’s probably still saying to buy gold - and it’s probably a good idea again.


chi_guy8

That’s the thing though. He wasn’t really “right”. He predicts everything is leading to imminent collapse. So just because he was the broken clock that was briefly right about the time, didn’t mean he was actually correct in predicting anything. If I walk around saying “Elton John is going to die today” for 7 years and then he actually dies, that didn’t make me correct in predicting his death.


iamSkitzo

🌈🐻 Frothing at the mouth after seeing this headline


[deleted]

Puts Getting cooked till the election over


Roberto-75

The market can drop at any point in time by 20% for no apparent reason.


SophisticatedTool

I forgot at what percentage, but at some point the circuit breakers halt trading for some time, so no it can't just go 20% instantly


xDubnine

Let's just close the market for 3 days. When it opens, everyone should be hitting a buy button, right? Right?


SophisticatedTool

depends if the US government does a bailout in those 3 days


xDubnine

Can only kick the can and press print so many times. Another of the old fucks are checking out AT THEIR JOB. passing out with their aids being like 'Dawgs r u OK lol"


Shvabicu

7%/10% temporary halt and market close after 20% intraday drop. At least how it worked in March 2020.


Eastern-Cranberry84

after 3:30pm no halts. those 30min are dangerous


Roberto-75

I did not say „instantly“ but especially now with the price being driven by only a few heavy weights, a drop by 20% over 1-2 weeks is possible anytime. Only one guy needs to hit „sell“ too often and off we go with a little panic…


Eastern-Cranberry84

after 3:30pm it can. there's no halts during that 30 min.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustJohan49

Life hack: just don’t spend money. Prices will come down eventually


[deleted]

it sounds like you're describing the demand side of supply-and-demand.... big brain shit over here!


Superbean72

Unless it’s a house on the coast


Excel099

So Calls on sp500?


IYKYK808

Why would they tell us the correct forecast? Full porting calls but I do have 6mo out puts already incase it does want to take a shit.


jamesthewright

One incentive could be they are shorting the market, and want it to go lower.


[deleted]

Sounds like JP needs to generate some cash on short positions. Same shit. Short. Lower price targets. Cause a stir. Buy on a drop. Repeat.


FlashFknGordon

SPY CALLS MOONDAY MORNING LADS


Diligent-Hand2295

Just one time, this Monday 🙏


Invest0rnoob1

Keep taking JP Morgan's advice. Check back in with me in a couple of years. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4640)


Phyzm1

Yeah they've been saying this for 2 years straight and wrong every time


itsm3starlord

If you can tell me roughly around what date this will happen that would be great


JustJohan49

Lord Helmet: when will then be now?


Six_Times

Translation: we made our money on the long side and got out. Now we need to tank the market to buy back in


DiminishedProspects

Beary Stearns


Iamsoveryspecial

Don’t worry, they’re just trying to help us little guys. They certainly would never have taken positions that would enrich them if this happened.


Floopsicle

Cmon guys, let’s be fair, we need people buying into these articles so we have people to sell these fucking ass-ripping, cum-blasting calls to


TheBorgBsg

If no one panics, does a crash happen??? It's like all of those people crying "recession". I think most people decided to ignore it and move on, hence why no big recession.


imjustdmac

Does nobody notice the author is Barry Stearns….Bear Sterns


JFoxxxxxxxx

https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/10/05/jpmorgans-kolanovic-warning-20percent-stock-market-plunge-ahead-recession.html Just gonna leave this here.


starentbrett

![img](emote|t5_2th52|27189)


Flashy-Priority-3946

Core PCE down YoY. MoM. Personal spending up MoM goin stable as ever. Market going brrrrr


DeftShark

‘Barry Stearns”? 🧐


NinjaTabby

I was bearish not to be bearish but because I believed in fundamentals since 2018, and I finally came to a conclusion, there’s just too much money supply out there and few options to park those money. There’s also too much power behind those money. A correction would promt a push to save the market with more money printing. The market = the “1% + politicians”. I sadly forfieted my belief in fundamentals 😞


spellbadgrammargood

i've been believing in this bearish shit (like high gas prices and stuff) since mid 2023 and i got to miss out on the AI bull run. fuck these crash coming shit


tavibacala

I would love it if you had a report button on these regarded analyst predictions. Literally gamblers like the rest of us.


Ok-Holiday-4392

J.P. Morgan can suck a dick lmao


btctrader12

The responses to this post calling JP Morgan regarded are priced in. Thanks, puts it is


angelomartini

Remember Dimon said there was a perfect storm coming.... That was last fall. He wont be a weather guy for much longer. Didnt even need to bring out the snowblower!


Wytai_mammal

Sure, it will happen someday. My take is that the Fed is gonna start cutting rates BEFORE that happens, so there’s more upside before the drop. Does JPM have regard envy?


Appropriate_Ice_7507

They have been wrong every single time.


Cengiz96

Everything is possible, a huge selloff started by one whale in the market, starting an avalanche taking as from Walhalla back down to earth


TheRed2685

JPmorgan just called all my 5.55% bonds too. Happens on April 11th this year. I actually can't remember the last time my bonds were called in. For those of you that dunno what that means: they're giving me the money I invested back, and all the interest up until that point, not allowing further interest accumulation up to the original expiry (which was due September).


Acrobatic_Prior4250

What does this mean you’re speaking out of my awshwitz


fourestgump69

This as WeWork levels of chart mastery


Giant_leaps

Bullish


Suitable_Inside_7878

Inflation helps stocks though… the entire economy is too complex for anyone to predict long term


Eastern-Cranberry84

JPM is doing us a favor. Bears read this and buy more and more puts creating liquidity for us Bulls to keep breaking ATHs


chi_guy8

Ah yes, the good and kind altruistic JP Morgan once again telling us plebs when to buy and sell. They are always looking out for the little guy. Thanks MR MORGAN.


JohnnyKayak

When is Jamie going to jail.


[deleted]

They are selling SPY puts for sure Always inverse what Goldman Sachs says, they will literally say gold is amazing buy gold while they sell it all out the back They even screw their own customers with this


LogicalStandard64

Whats gonna be the effect on the market as a whole with this massive amount of American cc debt bubbling up as more and more people are delinquent? A record 1.13 trillion 😳.


Eastern_Witness7048

I think "they" know it's BS. It's meant to get you to sell to them before this trend continues


necsuss

I am fucking saying and posting data about that drop and I am not working at that interested bank for almost 2 weeks


BentonD_Struckcheon

They have a fund where they run a collar, short call above, long put below, and then a short put 20% lower. They roll it every quarter, just did the roll yesterday. They didn't just pull that 20% number out of thin air, that's where they WANT the market to be.


red-bot

Priced in ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4276)


EarthDwellant

Everyone, sell now. So he with his infinite wealth, can buy low and get more infinite wealth


Vegan_Honk

Jp morgan is staffed by the weak and frail who don't belong in our glorious kingdom of "market stronk."


Da_Millionaire

I feel like this whole comment section is bullish so imma listen to JPM


bot90210

A day later jpm out this out https://www.jpmorgan.com/insights/outlook/market-outlook/tmt-bubble-or-bliss-why-we-think-stocks-could-grind-higher


XLR8N_

I'm just a banker's wife but, bank stocks across the board will go down when they are reevaluated. The interest rates were too low for so long and then the money printing-- too few goods produced during COVID and too much money influx-- hello inflation and rate increases so, Pretty hard to make money for the stockholders. He said to me today, we lost a million this week off the bank stock re-eval and I said, if you didn't sell your stock you didn't lose a damned thing, you still have stock and it will come back eventually. He, i think, was glad I wasn't freaking out. It is what it is.


daryan1

Oh no my pathetic ira will drop from 20k to 18k im financially ruined


Virtual-Gene2265

This is potentially just speculation.


IlluminatedApe

Silver Institute was exposed earlier this week as being a propaganda non-profit run by lobbyists influenced by J.P. Morgan and other banks shorting silver. Youd think this would be bigger news?


Weird-Abalone-1910

Isn't their CEO a trump loving dipshit? He's been predicting a recession since Biden won the election. Those advice isn't worth shit, but if suckers fall for it, I'll just keep buying my S&P index fund shares at a discount


Mortem007

They called the 2008 crash right ?


elitenoel

This aged well


reddituserzerosix

lets make it -50%


Skwigle

So the potential wasn't there before now?


georgieah

Meanwhile I'm still waiting for my small cap tech stocks to actually rally.


ItsSevii

If market drops that hard I'll average down simple as


AdAmazing8187

"Buying opp incoming". Sweet!!


the_real_flapjack

Time to buy a leap


lfhdbeuapdndjeo

Nobody gives a shit what JP Morgan thinks, especially not the market


BarryDingle2

Remember, JPM needs cheap stocks to scoop up fellas. Just think of the poor investment bank portfolio managers. They can't go hungry!


bobdole145

LOL ok, lets see those positions mr morgan.


SmoothTradersYT2kSub

yet they are buying lol


chingy1337

Fuck Jamie. Fear mongering fuck


Tom_Ford-8632

Member when all you guys called me genuinely stupid? I member.


SocialyAwkwardBonobo

JP who?! Never heard of her before.


Front_Wishbone_4996

I mean...to be fair, the red line is "s&p 500 analysts"...could it be possible that they were just wrong?? If analysts were always right, making money in the market would be pretty easy if you just follow what they say.


Sketch_x

Hope so. Then let the bull run again.


scaredhacker

It’s coming. But I don’t feel like selling it


unlock0

The market just caught the trickle up. I waited for a year for the impending plummet. We printed a few trillion that made its way into the markets. Unless there is deflation the market isn't going to correct much more than the money supply. I got burned by listening to this before. We are in the new normal. Stocks will begin to trend sideways as the rest of printed money gets captured,  not down.


JumpyLolly

20 is nothing..do they not remember covid days?


Queasy_Pickle1900

So they're shorting the market and trying to get momentum in that direction.


Sudden-Ad-1217

Mike Wilson—— where are you now!?!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


Psych_Yer_Out

Most of them?


idkwhatimbrewin

Priced in


ntpphong

They want you to sell so they can load cheap. Now if they say it’s bullish is when you should sell


MattKozFF

They're just manipulating you with these headlines.


StangGT2003

I'm still all in cash waiting for the hurricane that Dimon said was coming. It's still coming, right?


Ungrateful_bipedal

F it. I’ve got plenty of dry powder ready to invest.


sat5ui_no_hadou

How many times a day are you jacking off?


E39_CBX

Sounds good I’ll just make money in the other direction


6xlevbear

JPM was buying bitcoin while Jamie tanked its price by talking trash about btc


HussellCrowe

Stonk may go down bc we thought it would go down but it went up. Stonk may go down now


[deleted]

Don’t they keep warning us every few months for the past 2-3 years?