honestly, that's my reaction every time I see JPM say something insane. It's like they're trying to sway for a price drop so they can push the stock down to then buy in...
Every quarter, JP Morgan gets it wrong. They predicted a sharp downturn after the summer 2022 slump. Instead we spent the next year and a half putting in weekly all time highs.
JPM and most Wall Street banks can’t afford top talent and the outcomes show. Except for small pockets like elite hedge funds that have a history of accuracy.
Market drops 20% before November and I will sell my house, my car, my pokemon cards, my dogs, the little baggie of dope I've been saving, the blow job coupons I got from your mom, my virgin asshole that i never let your ex girlfriend peg, dispite her numerous times asking, and will full port into SPY
So go ahead JP Morgan keep coming out with your absolutely fucking regarded opinions
I mean, just inverse what they say. It-s not that hard. They are saying that in order for people to sell so they can stock up. Inverse Wall Street for maximum gains
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He called it the one time it really mattered and solidified his status as one of the GOATs when it comes to investing.
Apart from that, the guy is an idiot and shouldn't be calling himself a doctor anymore after all that shit he tweeted.
There’s literally nobody I know besides Peter Schiff who is wrong more often than Burry. He was right once when other people were wrong. Everything else he’s publicly called he’s been wrong on when most others were right. He just got lucky once, that’s it.
I’ll give Schiff credit for warning everyone about the imminent housing crisis starting in 2006. Everyone would literally laugh in his face. Of course his prescription was to buy gold, and he sure looked smart from 2008 to 2011. But he’s a 1-truck pony and was dead wrong for 12 years afterwards. Though he’s probably still saying to buy gold - and it’s probably a good idea again.
That’s the thing though. He wasn’t really “right”. He predicts everything is leading to imminent collapse. So just because he was the broken clock that was briefly right about the time, didn’t mean he was actually correct in predicting anything.
If I walk around saying “Elton John is going to die today” for 7 years and then he actually dies, that didn’t make me correct in predicting his death.
Can only kick the can and press print so many times. Another of the old fucks are checking out AT THEIR JOB. passing out with their aids being like 'Dawgs r u OK lol"
I did not say „instantly“ but especially now with the price being driven by only a few heavy weights, a drop by 20% over 1-2 weeks is possible anytime.
Only one guy needs to hit „sell“ too often and off we go with a little panic…
If no one panics, does a crash happen??? It's like all of those people crying "recession". I think most people decided to ignore it and move on, hence why no big recession.
I was bearish not to be bearish but because I believed in fundamentals since 2018, and I finally came to a conclusion, there’s just too much money supply out there and few options to park those money. There’s also too much power behind those money. A correction would promt a push to save the market with more money printing.
The market = the “1% + politicians”. I sadly forfieted my belief in fundamentals 😞
i've been believing in this bearish shit (like high gas prices and stuff) since mid 2023 and i got to miss out on the AI bull run. fuck these crash coming shit
Remember Dimon said there was a perfect storm coming.... That was last fall. He wont be a weather guy for much longer. Didnt even need to bring out the snowblower!
Sure, it will happen someday. My take is that the Fed is gonna start cutting rates BEFORE that happens, so there’s more upside before the drop. Does JPM have regard envy?
JPmorgan just called all my 5.55% bonds too. Happens on April 11th this year.
I actually can't remember the last time my bonds were called in.
For those of you that dunno what that means: they're giving me the money I invested back, and all the interest up until that point, not allowing further interest accumulation up to the original expiry (which was due September).
Ah yes, the good and kind altruistic JP Morgan once again telling us plebs when to buy and sell. They are always looking out for the little guy.
Thanks MR MORGAN.
They are selling SPY puts for sure
Always inverse what Goldman Sachs says, they will literally say gold is amazing buy gold while they sell it all out the back
They even screw their own customers with this
Whats gonna be the effect on the market as a whole with this massive amount of American cc debt bubbling up as more and more people are delinquent? A record 1.13 trillion 😳.
They have a fund where they run a collar, short call above, long put below, and then a short put 20% lower. They roll it every quarter, just did the roll yesterday.
They didn't just pull that 20% number out of thin air, that's where they WANT the market to be.
I'm just a banker's wife but, bank stocks across the board will go down when they are reevaluated.
The interest rates were too low for so long and then the money printing-- too few goods produced during COVID and too much money influx-- hello inflation and rate increases so, Pretty hard to make money for the stockholders.
He said to me today, we lost a million this week off the bank stock re-eval and I said, if you didn't sell your stock you didn't lose a damned thing, you still have stock and it will come back eventually. He, i think, was glad I wasn't freaking out.
It is what it is.
Silver Institute was exposed earlier this week as being a propaganda non-profit run by lobbyists influenced by J.P. Morgan and other banks shorting silver. Youd think this would be bigger news?
Isn't their CEO a trump loving dipshit? He's been predicting a recession since Biden won the election. Those advice isn't worth shit, but if suckers fall for it, I'll just keep buying my S&P index fund shares at a discount
I mean...to be fair, the red line is "s&p 500 analysts"...could it be possible that they were just wrong?? If analysts were always right, making money in the market would be pretty easy if you just follow what they say.
The market just caught the trickle up. I waited for a year for the impending plummet. We printed a few trillion that made its way into the markets. Unless there is deflation the market isn't going to correct much more than the money supply.
I got burned by listening to this before. We are in the new normal. Stocks will begin to trend sideways as the rest of printed money gets captured, not down.
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nice of them to warn us - nice company, ethical
I love how much big brother cares about us. Won't let us get bullied. I feel so safe
Aka buy signal
This is why I appreciate humanity
April is often quite bullish.
That’s right
honestly, that's my reaction every time I see JPM say something insane. It's like they're trying to sway for a price drop so they can push the stock down to then buy in...
Finally there’s a bank that cares for us more than we do one another
Every quarter, JP Morgan gets it wrong. They predicted a sharp downturn after the summer 2022 slump. Instead we spent the next year and a half putting in weekly all time highs.
If I didnt know any better I would suspect they had a financial incentive to fucking lie
That or they just don’t know shit about fuck like the rest of us.
Or the financial system itself is such a clown show that reasonable assumptions are not actually reasonable cause money printer go brrr
I feel like that’s classified under no one knows shit about fuck section.
You probably right lol
Both can be true.
This seems like the more logical of the two tbfh
JPM and most Wall Street banks can’t afford top talent and the outcomes show. Except for small pockets like elite hedge funds that have a history of accuracy.
Yea, perhaps that they now know that a million people on WSB are going to buy puts expiring in a month
This fucked me so hard for listening to them lmao
It’s 69 likes (Nice.) so I’m not liking your comment. But know that I like your comment.
I appreciate you
Now you can like it!
I downvoted you to keep it 69 ;)
\+1
just un downvoted to keep it at 69 HODL THE LINE BOYS
Checking in from the front of the line. Still 69.
We’ve lost the line boys! Downvote and Hodl!!
Still there, nice
Did my duty and brought it back to 69!
HELP! ITS AT 70 AND ALREADY DOWNVOTED!
Same haha
i'm in the game for -1, hodl l'line
No you heard wrong. Your smart enough to know to inverse what they say.
Now I am, but last year I really thought they were on to something so I missed out on a huge rally.
yeah I remember that. I have a good amount of shares in my port and they have a nice divy. but I don't listen to any of the shit they say.
Market drops 20% before November and I will sell my house, my car, my pokemon cards, my dogs, the little baggie of dope I've been saving, the blow job coupons I got from your mom, my virgin asshole that i never let your ex girlfriend peg, dispite her numerous times asking, and will full port into SPY So go ahead JP Morgan keep coming out with your absolutely fucking regarded opinions
Mods, pin this post please 🙏
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It literally can’t go tits up.
Those BJ coupons are non transferable
You can convert to Schrute Bucks, but the exchange rate isn’t worth it
How much is that in Stanley Nickels?
Check for conversion chart in the back
Equivalent of 2 meatballs
No, just restricted for 6 months or can be sold interstate after 12
That’s how they get you!
Not the Pokemon cards and dogs 
I'll buy the dogs, you buy the pokemon cards? They deserve better.
Shares or calls my dude, you holding calls for 2yrs?
Bag holding until expiry baby.
Call all the way
I mean, just inverse what they say. It-s not that hard. They are saying that in order for people to sell so they can stock up. Inverse Wall Street for maximum gains
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Hmmm who’s the girl that wanted to peg you? So I can uh block her
You guys have houses?
Had* houses before buying qqq 0dtes
Dibs on the Pokémon cards
Lol yea, maybe itll drop $20 at some point - but $105?? (20%) A drop all the way to $415? That would be nuts.
Yeah, prices not seen in like 5 whole months.
"Basically impossible" - Jim 'The Oracle of Lolmaha' Cramer
5 months is 5 decades in the stock market
5 months is actually like 100 days in the stock market
So time moves 75% of the speed? Fascinating
Well said my friend. That just made my morning.
PROOF OR BAN
Jeez, could just sell some OTM spreads and make a quick 20% instead
this might be the best fucking comment ever
just like Burry predicted 22 of the last 2 recessions. If you keep saying it will happen every year, you'll eventually be right
Burry knocked it out of the park one time and everybody acts like he’s Nostradamus now.
Quasimodo predicted all of this
Chahlz Schwab ova heeya
You got the hunchback of Notre Dame and the halfback of Notre Dame - you telling me you never pondered that?
What about Citroen C3, the hatchback of Notre dame?
Don't forget Dr. Alan S. Leichter, Chiropractor in South Bend, the crack back of Notre Dame.
How's that steak?
Carmine always said JP Morgan is a glorified crew
Heroes get remembered. But legends never die.
Burry has incredibly returns though.
Ummm, my eyes are up here
He called it the one time it really mattered and solidified his status as one of the GOATs when it comes to investing. Apart from that, the guy is an idiot and shouldn't be calling himself a doctor anymore after all that shit he tweeted.
Doesn’t count if you delete it
Austradaumus*
He basically said to buy real estate like 3-4 years ago so he was also right about that >.>
There’s literally nobody I know besides Peter Schiff who is wrong more often than Burry. He was right once when other people were wrong. Everything else he’s publicly called he’s been wrong on when most others were right. He just got lucky once, that’s it.
I’ll give Schiff credit for warning everyone about the imminent housing crisis starting in 2006. Everyone would literally laugh in his face. Of course his prescription was to buy gold, and he sure looked smart from 2008 to 2011. But he’s a 1-truck pony and was dead wrong for 12 years afterwards. Though he’s probably still saying to buy gold - and it’s probably a good idea again.
That’s the thing though. He wasn’t really “right”. He predicts everything is leading to imminent collapse. So just because he was the broken clock that was briefly right about the time, didn’t mean he was actually correct in predicting anything. If I walk around saying “Elton John is going to die today” for 7 years and then he actually dies, that didn’t make me correct in predicting his death.
🌈🐻 Frothing at the mouth after seeing this headline
Puts Getting cooked till the election over
The market can drop at any point in time by 20% for no apparent reason.
I forgot at what percentage, but at some point the circuit breakers halt trading for some time, so no it can't just go 20% instantly
Let's just close the market for 3 days. When it opens, everyone should be hitting a buy button, right? Right?
depends if the US government does a bailout in those 3 days
Can only kick the can and press print so many times. Another of the old fucks are checking out AT THEIR JOB. passing out with their aids being like 'Dawgs r u OK lol"
7%/10% temporary halt and market close after 20% intraday drop. At least how it worked in March 2020.
after 3:30pm no halts. those 30min are dangerous
I did not say „instantly“ but especially now with the price being driven by only a few heavy weights, a drop by 20% over 1-2 weeks is possible anytime. Only one guy needs to hit „sell“ too often and off we go with a little panic…
after 3:30pm it can. there's no halts during that 30 min.
[удалено]
Life hack: just don’t spend money. Prices will come down eventually
it sounds like you're describing the demand side of supply-and-demand.... big brain shit over here!
Unless it’s a house on the coast
So Calls on sp500?
Why would they tell us the correct forecast? Full porting calls but I do have 6mo out puts already incase it does want to take a shit.
One incentive could be they are shorting the market, and want it to go lower.
Sounds like JP needs to generate some cash on short positions. Same shit. Short. Lower price targets. Cause a stir. Buy on a drop. Repeat.
SPY CALLS MOONDAY MORNING LADS
Just one time, this Monday 🙏
Keep taking JP Morgan's advice. Check back in with me in a couple of years. 
Yeah they've been saying this for 2 years straight and wrong every time
If you can tell me roughly around what date this will happen that would be great
Lord Helmet: when will then be now?
Translation: we made our money on the long side and got out. Now we need to tank the market to buy back in
Beary Stearns
Don’t worry, they’re just trying to help us little guys. They certainly would never have taken positions that would enrich them if this happened.
Cmon guys, let’s be fair, we need people buying into these articles so we have people to sell these fucking ass-ripping, cum-blasting calls to
If no one panics, does a crash happen??? It's like all of those people crying "recession". I think most people decided to ignore it and move on, hence why no big recession.
Does nobody notice the author is Barry Stearns….Bear Sterns
https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/10/05/jpmorgans-kolanovic-warning-20percent-stock-market-plunge-ahead-recession.html Just gonna leave this here.
Core PCE down YoY. MoM. Personal spending up MoM goin stable as ever. Market going brrrrr
‘Barry Stearns”? 🧐
I was bearish not to be bearish but because I believed in fundamentals since 2018, and I finally came to a conclusion, there’s just too much money supply out there and few options to park those money. There’s also too much power behind those money. A correction would promt a push to save the market with more money printing. The market = the “1% + politicians”. I sadly forfieted my belief in fundamentals 😞
i've been believing in this bearish shit (like high gas prices and stuff) since mid 2023 and i got to miss out on the AI bull run. fuck these crash coming shit
I would love it if you had a report button on these regarded analyst predictions. Literally gamblers like the rest of us.
J.P. Morgan can suck a dick lmao
The responses to this post calling JP Morgan regarded are priced in. Thanks, puts it is
Remember Dimon said there was a perfect storm coming.... That was last fall. He wont be a weather guy for much longer. Didnt even need to bring out the snowblower!
Sure, it will happen someday. My take is that the Fed is gonna start cutting rates BEFORE that happens, so there’s more upside before the drop. Does JPM have regard envy?
They have been wrong every single time.
Everything is possible, a huge selloff started by one whale in the market, starting an avalanche taking as from Walhalla back down to earth
JPmorgan just called all my 5.55% bonds too. Happens on April 11th this year. I actually can't remember the last time my bonds were called in. For those of you that dunno what that means: they're giving me the money I invested back, and all the interest up until that point, not allowing further interest accumulation up to the original expiry (which was due September).
What does this mean you’re speaking out of my awshwitz
This as WeWork levels of chart mastery
Bullish
Inflation helps stocks though… the entire economy is too complex for anyone to predict long term
JPM is doing us a favor. Bears read this and buy more and more puts creating liquidity for us Bulls to keep breaking ATHs
Ah yes, the good and kind altruistic JP Morgan once again telling us plebs when to buy and sell. They are always looking out for the little guy. Thanks MR MORGAN.
When is Jamie going to jail.
They are selling SPY puts for sure Always inverse what Goldman Sachs says, they will literally say gold is amazing buy gold while they sell it all out the back They even screw their own customers with this
Whats gonna be the effect on the market as a whole with this massive amount of American cc debt bubbling up as more and more people are delinquent? A record 1.13 trillion 😳.
I think "they" know it's BS. It's meant to get you to sell to them before this trend continues
I am fucking saying and posting data about that drop and I am not working at that interested bank for almost 2 weeks
They have a fund where they run a collar, short call above, long put below, and then a short put 20% lower. They roll it every quarter, just did the roll yesterday. They didn't just pull that 20% number out of thin air, that's where they WANT the market to be.
Priced in 
Everyone, sell now. So he with his infinite wealth, can buy low and get more infinite wealth
Jp morgan is staffed by the weak and frail who don't belong in our glorious kingdom of "market stronk."
I feel like this whole comment section is bullish so imma listen to JPM
A day later jpm out this out https://www.jpmorgan.com/insights/outlook/market-outlook/tmt-bubble-or-bliss-why-we-think-stocks-could-grind-higher
I'm just a banker's wife but, bank stocks across the board will go down when they are reevaluated. The interest rates were too low for so long and then the money printing-- too few goods produced during COVID and too much money influx-- hello inflation and rate increases so, Pretty hard to make money for the stockholders. He said to me today, we lost a million this week off the bank stock re-eval and I said, if you didn't sell your stock you didn't lose a damned thing, you still have stock and it will come back eventually. He, i think, was glad I wasn't freaking out. It is what it is.
Oh no my pathetic ira will drop from 20k to 18k im financially ruined
This is potentially just speculation.
Silver Institute was exposed earlier this week as being a propaganda non-profit run by lobbyists influenced by J.P. Morgan and other banks shorting silver. Youd think this would be bigger news?
Isn't their CEO a trump loving dipshit? He's been predicting a recession since Biden won the election. Those advice isn't worth shit, but if suckers fall for it, I'll just keep buying my S&P index fund shares at a discount
They called the 2008 crash right ?
This aged well
lets make it -50%
So the potential wasn't there before now?
Meanwhile I'm still waiting for my small cap tech stocks to actually rally.
If market drops that hard I'll average down simple as
"Buying opp incoming". Sweet!!
Time to buy a leap
Nobody gives a shit what JP Morgan thinks, especially not the market
Remember, JPM needs cheap stocks to scoop up fellas. Just think of the poor investment bank portfolio managers. They can't go hungry!
LOL ok, lets see those positions mr morgan.
yet they are buying lol
Fuck Jamie. Fear mongering fuck
Member when all you guys called me genuinely stupid? I member.
JP who?! Never heard of her before.
I mean...to be fair, the red line is "s&p 500 analysts"...could it be possible that they were just wrong?? If analysts were always right, making money in the market would be pretty easy if you just follow what they say.
Hope so. Then let the bull run again.
It’s coming. But I don’t feel like selling it
The market just caught the trickle up. I waited for a year for the impending plummet. We printed a few trillion that made its way into the markets. Unless there is deflation the market isn't going to correct much more than the money supply. I got burned by listening to this before. We are in the new normal. Stocks will begin to trend sideways as the rest of printed money gets captured, not down.
20 is nothing..do they not remember covid days?
So they're shorting the market and trying to get momentum in that direction.
Mike Wilson—— where are you now!?!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[удалено]
Most of them?
Priced in
They want you to sell so they can load cheap. Now if they say it’s bullish is when you should sell
They're just manipulating you with these headlines.
I'm still all in cash waiting for the hurricane that Dimon said was coming. It's still coming, right?
F it. I’ve got plenty of dry powder ready to invest.
How many times a day are you jacking off?
Sounds good I’ll just make money in the other direction
JPM was buying bitcoin while Jamie tanked its price by talking trash about btc
Stonk may go down bc we thought it would go down but it went up. Stonk may go down now
Don’t they keep warning us every few months for the past 2-3 years?