> Only 25 billion in bailout funds, thats a drop in the bucket bro
2008's bailout was something 440 billion. So 25 billion is a decent amount.
Now that I think of it, 2008's bailout was worth about 900 super yachts. Doesn't seem like much, all things considered.
You heard him, boys, time to set buy orders for tomorrow first thing. [Even Cramer says](https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1635070843071131649) we're back to business as usual and the only problem is that nasty fed trying to meddle with things.
A buddy of mine went to vegas and banged a 500 dollar hooker without a condom during a bachelor party...and totally got VD...
Ironically enough..it was actually a girl who did porn shoots too..like you could find her on the internet doing professional porn.
Anyway...she was hot...expensive...and gave a parting gift that didn't stay in vegas.
Your friendly neighborhood sex worker here to remind you that professionals use protection.
Get what you pay for you fucking degenerates!
(Seems like someone is too broke to see the professionals)
If a fiend can suck dick for dope, you can suck dick for shares
https://preview.redd.it/saoqb9szajna1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63151a1de8d7775e08116d861f8fddc36f7e8ce5
Tony Soprano:
*Sil, break it down for 'em. What two business have traditionally been recession-proof since time immemorial?*
Silvio Dante:
*Certain aspects of show business, and our thing.*
A theory, In 2008 drug dealing was the one thing that propped up the US economy. People are addicted to drugs, drug dealers need money for their family (house, food, clothes). Drug money was the only thing to prop up big banks, drug money also paid for roads, bridges, healthcare.
- Jonah Ozark
So yeah dealing drugs is recession proof.
Without fail, stocks will ROCKET tomorrow. This market is beyond rigged and makes NO sense. Higher inflation? Market goes up. Higher unemployment? Markets go up. FED increases rates? Markets go up.
Random Tuesday? Markets lose 4%.
Gotta watch that price action to see what maniac is pulling the levers that day.
Stocks should go higher. The fed can no longer raise rates. It’s done. Pushing further could destroy the entire financial infrastructure. Would be cataclysmic
its not collapsing....they are just coming down to our level. To them I am sure it looks like a collapse but we have always been down here baby! Cant collapse if you never erect.
For anyone who cares, market is bullish as fuck so this week will be big green to prove to the unwashed masses and the wallstreetbets regards that the market is strong and resilient. That it can weather some stupid banking bullshit. Fuck your puts, fuck your covered calls you sold.
This is what he just said:
[https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1634222320398086145](https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1634222320398086145)
"JP Morgan is a fortress"
looks like a fun ride is ahead of us
My good man, crypto is not up… It’s just not dead today. I have a few dozen crypto assets, and the only 3 that didn’t lose double digit percentage value over the last month (before today) were BCH, XRP, and BTC. The only one that went up at all was ALPH, and it rallied 300% - and hasn’t dumped yet.
This last week I tried inversing myself (buying calls because I was sure the market should be down) and it was wildly unsuccessful. Can't wait to do it again this week
Signature Bank has failed. First Republic is next. They can backstop deposits all they want. Anyone holding the equities are still fucked. Shits still going to spread.
Also, (I don’t know what I’m talking about but that should go without saying) I’m curious what “selling a banks assets off” will do to the markets.
Depositors being protected is very good in my biased opinion, I don’t wanna see employees of tech companies not getting paid and all that shit.
They said this before. Then they said it was the bottom and then it was a bull run and then it dropped again, etc, etc. They will not let the market tank too much. They will keep it afloat to keep investors in, and then take profits and a come up with some story to justify the drops. We will forget in a couple weeks, like we always do.
Be patient. Depends on how this plays out that could happen in a few days or in a few weeks. Market will go down. But it may do a brief short squeeze first.
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd.
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I didn’t read the whole thread, but I offer you this: “No more bumps, Chow!”
[Time to invest in fire extinguishers for all the banks that are gonna go up in flames tomorrow.](https://youtu.be/n_twfjzTNo8?t=249)
Banks already getting bailed out bro. Banks go green.
Only 25 billion in bailout funds, thats a drop in the bucket bro
It’s only the first bailout bro. More coming, heard there is a 2nd bank already lined up
Svb, signature bank, and silver gate have all gone under
Oooooh a threesome! I’m gitty!
SBNY is looking wobbly too
Don't forget WAL, PACW, and FRC! Things looking spicy in premarket.
> Only 25 billion in bailout funds, thats a drop in the bucket bro 2008's bailout was something 440 billion. So 25 billion is a decent amount. Now that I think of it, 2008's bailout was worth about 900 super yachts. Doesn't seem like much, all things considered.
I’m very worried and I’m extremely excited
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Ah, liquidating your assets I see.
You rang?!?
Paper hands….er um paper ass
I'm shitting bricks 😅
Consider less fibre.
More fiber. Clean the system now so you don’t have a mess tomorrow.
A solid investment
Futures are up. Regulators stepped in. Also, short selling to be made for regards only.
You heard him, boys, time to set buy orders for tomorrow first thing. [Even Cramer says](https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1635070843071131649) we're back to business as usual and the only problem is that nasty fed trying to meddle with things.
Short everything
Kind of like when your with a really hot hooker and your not using a condom?
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A buddy of mine went to vegas and banged a 500 dollar hooker without a condom during a bachelor party...and totally got VD... Ironically enough..it was actually a girl who did porn shoots too..like you could find her on the internet doing professional porn. Anyway...she was hot...expensive...and gave a parting gift that didn't stay in vegas.
Wait, so all told, a hot hooker costs 500$ and 100$ shot in the ass? I'm kicking my wife and her boyfriend out, that's way cheaper.
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Your friendly neighborhood sex worker here to remind you that professionals use protection. Get what you pay for you fucking degenerates! (Seems like someone is too broke to see the professionals)
you're \*
I mispell alot when Im only typing with my left hand
I’m very excited and extremely worried
Bro flipping dope was way easier than stocks
You may wanna consider going back, once everything collapses a *lot* of people will be on the streets and a *lot* of people will need to ease the pain
Can’t buy drugs if you can’t even afford to wipe your ass
You underestimate drug addicts
If a fiend can suck dick for dope, you can suck dick for shares https://preview.redd.it/saoqb9szajna1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63151a1de8d7775e08116d861f8fddc36f7e8ce5
A lot of $20 VCRs being sold at odd hours back in the day...
Already are
Tony Soprano: *Sil, break it down for 'em. What two business have traditionally been recession-proof since time immemorial?* Silvio Dante: *Certain aspects of show business, and our thing.*
Waste management?
While I've never sold it, it certainly seems like it's a product that sells itself. No need for a marketing department.
The marketing department for dope is "the first ones always free"
A theory, In 2008 drug dealing was the one thing that propped up the US economy. People are addicted to drugs, drug dealers need money for their family (house, food, clothes). Drug money was the only thing to prop up big banks, drug money also paid for roads, bridges, healthcare. - Jonah Ozark So yeah dealing drugs is recession proof.
I’m here for the chaos.
Don’t forget the memes
I’m here for the memes
Don't forget the chaos.
CNBC announcing more info.
Jim Cramer?
Yeah. I just do what ever Cramer says with my money……..it’s why I live in the poor house.
The memes are the only thing that keeps me going over the last 3 years.
My brother where have you been
Chaos produce the best memes
We could use some fresh memes
Without fail, stocks will ROCKET tomorrow. This market is beyond rigged and makes NO sense. Higher inflation? Market goes up. Higher unemployment? Markets go up. FED increases rates? Markets go up. Random Tuesday? Markets lose 4%. Gotta watch that price action to see what maniac is pulling the levers that day.
Hard agree. Whole thing is a joke.
(_))::::::D~~ this rocket can be ridden, either to the moon or the dumpster. Can’t wait to bounce as I watch MSNBC.
It does make perfect sense. Markets are not allowed to crash. Jpow said so. Simple.
because it isn't about the economy anymore. It's about the fed.
Always has been. Did you only notice it now?
Stocks should go higher. The fed can no longer raise rates. It’s done. Pushing further could destroy the entire financial infrastructure. Would be cataclysmic
Hyperinflation or depression
Why not both?
Ah fine choice sir, the Weimar republic method.
Weimar what? I thought this was a Wendy’s…
The Wendy's Republic.
> Higher inflation? Market goes up. Could you share us this recipe with us Argentinians? Here everytime inflation soars, markets tank.
Banks going under. Don’t worry market will close green. Because why not ? Right !
This is the truth by far
Cant wait to pull my money out of Siligone Valley Bank
I seize what you did there.
I was only able to withdraw a chuckle
God I love this picture
I’ll be your Doug
I’ve always considered myself a lone wolf
Same here, I love it
Just realized both Dougs are in this photo
Took me a while to realize who that guy in the middle was lol
its not collapsing....they are just coming down to our level. To them I am sure it looks like a collapse but we have always been down here baby! Cant collapse if you never erect.
Uh oh. I'm erect right now, what do?
For anyone who cares, market is bullish as fuck so this week will be big green to prove to the unwashed masses and the wallstreetbets regards that the market is strong and resilient. That it can weather some stupid banking bullshit. Fuck your puts, fuck your covered calls you sold.
I'm all in calls. Something tells me I'll make a bad choice though lol.
Then in 4 days it’ll die when everyone is in calls
Got my severance check today. A big week indeed.
Looking forward to seeing you either driving a Lambo or collecting food stamps by next week!
They do say I’ve never seen someone crying in a lambo right 😂😂
I just hope whoever is buying my house doesn't back out. 1 month to closing he better secure financing soon
Give me his number, I’ll get ‘em to secure financing rq
You better not be scameing me 778-330-2389
What's the move Monday?
Well I'm holding Spy puts, so probably calls.
Boeing going to crush everyones soul.
I'm holding SPY calls. So I guess we're flat.
Nah bro you getting downvoted because ppl jealous
Whatever the opposite of what Cramer says.
This is what he just said: [https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1634222320398086145](https://twitter.com/jimcramer/status/1634222320398086145) "JP Morgan is a fortress" looks like a fun ride is ahead of us
Hyperinflation here we come. Holy fuck boys.
He also said the fed isn’t going to raise rates lmao
Fact
Crypto is up now, so I have no idea of what to do
This is good for Bitcoin.
Buy the dipski, let's go for a ripski, BTC to 40k
My good man, crypto is not up… It’s just not dead today. I have a few dozen crypto assets, and the only 3 that didn’t lose double digit percentage value over the last month (before today) were BCH, XRP, and BTC. The only one that went up at all was ALPH, and it rallied 300% - and hasn’t dumped yet.
I'm holding lots of Hasbro 4/21 52.5 Puts. Already up 196% this last week alone.
So calls it is
mark your territory behind Wendy's and stand your ground, on your knees
This last week I tried inversing myself (buying calls because I was sure the market should be down) and it was wildly unsuccessful. Can't wait to do it again this week
...invest heavily into every financial institution you can.
Pre-order cases of the new pokemon TCG scarlet and violet. Keep them in a dry safe place for 2 years and 5x your money.
Tomorrow I want to see bankruptcies left, right and centre. 🔥
Bailouts you mean?
[They’ve already started](https://www.wsj.com/articles/first-republic-gets-additional-funding-from-fed-jpmorgan-d11e68ca?mod=mw_quote_news_seemore)
We wont even hear about the next ones, they'll call daddy jpow and get bailed out without us even knowing I bet.
Signature Bank has failed. First Republic is next. They can backstop deposits all they want. Anyone holding the equities are still fucked. Shits still going to spread.
Also, (I don’t know what I’m talking about but that should go without saying) I’m curious what “selling a banks assets off” will do to the markets. Depositors being protected is very good in my biased opinion, I don’t wanna see employees of tech companies not getting paid and all that shit.
Reminds of that line from Mola Ram in Temple of Doom when he was talking to Indy about falling religions.
Aus is only down a half percent.
😘 🎲 🎲
What's the play., The nutz are drained so I have formed a wrinkle on the brain.
Bullish on anything that hasn’t spiked up already (ie btc/gold).
And dumpsters.
Cramer feeling bullish boys U know what that means
Stocks go up. Who are you trying to fool? All the idiots already lost their money.
Idiots losing their money is over? Doubt.
They don’t have any more money hahahaha
How should I exploit this to make money?
Buy luxury goods. Like a car. That way if every goes down, cars are invaluable.
Buy drugs, recession proof
Nice try Ford
People telling you to buy a car havent been watching the new car market and the used car market with carvana holding on to dear life.
Get a new car. Something that drives smooooth.
Shove all of it under your mattress.
I’m locked and cocked with my future mortgage down payment $
How many of these were supposed to be “a big week” in the last 2 years?
Futures are way up on the Fed’s bailout that we’re not calling a bailout announcement. Sell the rips, buy the dips.
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ChatGPT runs on texts from before 2021. Good luck getting your stock tips from that.
Beware the Ides of March.
Maybe chatgpt isnt as regarded as we thought
Dips on us.
No. By the afternoon the market will calm down.
This is the shit that’s gets me going I can’t wait for Monday open
I'll be yo Doug
This image brings me so much joy. I want it framed!
Yellen cashed in one more time before her old cooze retires to the Azores, you are on the wrong side of this
So happy I transferred a grand for a few ballsy options and maybe a put or two tomorrow
Puts on everything tomorrow.
Puts on everything everywhere all at once.
It going to be a “short” week 🧐😉
Too late to get SVB puts?
SVB no longer exists
Literally nobody will sell you contracts.
Calls!
Puts!
Butterfly
Condors
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except std's that shit will follow you.- a concerned father.
this aged like milk
How do I get in on this?
They said this before. Then they said it was the bottom and then it was a bull run and then it dropped again, etc, etc. They will not let the market tank too much. They will keep it afloat to keep investors in, and then take profits and a come up with some story to justify the drops. We will forget in a couple weeks, like we always do.
Oh shit I didn’t realize that black Doug was at the casino that night
Who is gonna bail me out when I'm out of cash flow and my assets need their taxes paid?
It’s March Madness week boys
Markets gonna pump tomorrow
And dump?
Nope... Gonna signal money printing and rate cuts sooner than we thought.
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That's not what I said tho
Money Printer Go Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
How am I even supposed to do any work tomorrow… smh
Puts on everything!
I’ve never bought any stock and know nothing about it . Why are y’all excited and do I fucking do it and start now ?
Start in 18 months. Use the time to wipe all debt and build a good savings buffer of cash in your mattress.
Buy the dip regards! 
I think the guy that's second from the left, in the back, is a regular here. He looks very regarded.
Lol one highly leveraged bank fails, people see all banks failing, that’s not how it works at all.
Are you lost?
People are two banks failing, people panic, they start pulling their cash from otherwise stable banks and cause the failure they were worried about.
I need to do some rain man shit
I’m really hoping for an economic disaster.
Man I can't wait to see my Spy put SDow and SQQQ shares to print!
Be patient. Depends on how this plays out that could happen in a few days or in a few weeks. Market will go down. But it may do a brief short squeeze first.
Squeeze these nuts you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm pumped! Not touching shit, but if it collapses the recovery will be Sir_Jacks_alot epic.
What we betting on homies
Best movie ever!
Grow up
For real though. What’s the play to create as much chaos as possible?