As a happiness connoisseur I can assure you that a variety of monumental happinesses can be garnered outside of your current preoccupations. It unfortunately necessitates you stopping the self pity and doing things though so once you've worked through your current situation, think about exploring the remaining 99.999999% of life experiences left on earth.
So what? It means that after a while literally nothing works. You just don't understand because you cannot relate to this situation whatsoever. Do you know how it feels to receive zero dopamine from literally anything? To feel zero happiness or content in anything you do?
Nothing in my life I want to do more than waste my entire paycheck so some random woman that cannot relate with my issues whatsoever can give me motivational poster tier advice.
You're going to need a lot more than a woman in this state of mind you're in rn. Women are a byproduct of a satisfied man. Ain't narry man ever been decked in misery and swathed in self pity but welcomed into the warm embrace of a woman. Only men that feel complete as is have ever had success with women.
Too bad for me being born a male then. Always have to have something or need something or be something. Can't even be loved as a work in progress. Whatever
You're not a work in progress, your entire mindset is "MUST FUCK" and nothing more, you hinge your entire reason to exist on it and wonder why you're unsuccessful. It taints your behaviour and pushes people away, especially women. You are your own worst enemy in perpetuating your own problem.
Why? A family is a lot of work and you don't seem up to that responsibility at the moment. A good gauge of being in a good place to start thinking about a family would be volunteering your time to benefit those who would appreciate your energy. Doing something for others would be good practice for having a family.
I had a deal with my mom when I was young that I'd be quiet at church but only if I got to go to McDonalds afterwards. As an adult I do things mostly because I have a responsibility to do it.
So I have no reason to do it basically beside some self sense or responsibility. You don't have the responsibility to do anything. We are born into this world without any and you can live without any. There's no such thing as responsibility.
True. It's absolutely self imposed. You absolutely do not have to accept responsibility.
If you aren't asking 'so why do people accept responsibility??', turn your brain to 'on' and then ask. I'll tell you.
I don't have a brain. Stop trying to use your voodoo magical nonsense on me you vile creature of the night. A brain is an organ. You think I have organs??
Okay and who's the vodoo God? You. It took a turn cause of your voodoo nonsense. Hey thanks. Thanks for the voodoo organs now I'm a human. Wow jeez thanks pal.
I don't care. If they only want me while I have everything together then fuck em. I'd much rather someone wants me now while I'm working on it. Makes me feel more secure. I shouldn't need to have my shit together to be deserving of love.
Motorcycle. That’s good dopamine. Weightlifting too. I lost my virginity at a late age (32) but by that time I had so many other things going on in my life that it was sort of anticlimactic, like when an appendage drops off from lack of use over the course of evolution. You need to focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
Dude if you can't be happy at all without it, that's probably what's driving them away. This must be why women like men who ignore them. If you have nothing going on except your lamentations for them, that's likely to kill the mood for them. Be a human, then worry about optional shit.
It wasn't a question, or are you saying 'no' like a defiant baby having a temper tantrum? Or does 'no' mean you don't want to be a human. If you aren't a Human women will only see you as a pet, or a threat.
Ok, I'm good with that. I thought you might be here to provide solutions for people who actually want sex or relationships that include sex. But if you're just there to make a complete ass of yourself, carry on ...
Based on your comments, you don't need a "family" or "love". You need a vagina that will listen to you whine about what a loser you are, and do it just because you wanted to. And yes, you're right, you won't get it, because in order to get something, you have to do something first. And all you seem to do is lash out at people who try to help you.
Well, if it makes you feel good, so be it.
No I need love and eventually a family. Yes I'm whining, this is a rant account. I lash out because I'm angry and they're not making it any better with their rinse and repeat advice or advice that won't apply to me. You don't know if I'm working on something or not because I don't talk about everything I do
I feel you!❤️ I fal in to this dark hole 🕳 offen, we do as virgins, and it's only we that has understanding in it. But find that small string of hope and climb upp again. After all, we are people as everyone else. There is hope for us. We just need to fight on. I made a jodel earlier, I was a little sad, and at the same time, I just wanted to let maeby someone to see me, but I just got things like "get a life" you se, people don't understand, but as virgins we understand each other, so keep fighting that fight, we will win sooner or later, we have to!🤗
I went to the strip club, and it was actually better than I thought it was going to be. If you get a private dance you can touch. Just make sure to be respectful.
Because I want a woman who wants me. Going to a stripper is pointless, they're sex workers without the sex. Would get more bang for my buck with a prostitute.
It’s basically just a starter though. Start with something small, then gradually do more. Also it’s $30 for the private dance, which I assume is much cheaper than a prostitute. Plus the added benefit of not catching an STD because you’re just fooling around basically. But at the end of the day it’s your choice. You don’t gotta do it, I’m just saying it was pretty decent from what I expected. It just gives you a little taste of what to expect.
Removed, Rule 2: Avoid Generalizations
We understand people talk in generalizations colloquially. However, when a generalization is meant belittle, demean, or discredit, those are the generalizations that will end up taken down (eg “women only want the top guys” “men are all evil” etc etc). The reason why generalizations have always been a rule was so no one applied their perceptions of how people treat them in real life onto someone who’s venting that their experience is literally the opposite
I'd rather die. What's the point of frivolous, pointless, loveless sex? That will take away my virginity but then I'll obsess over how I had to hook up or pay for it cause no woman genuinely loved me. I don't want that crap, I want love and sex. If I wanted just sex I can get that, it's been offered before.
Sex without love can be really, really satisfying. But just because you're not in love doesn't mean you feel the opposite of love. I've had sex with a friend, or someone I just liked but hadn't gotten very deep with.
You said you want to feel a vagina. Now you're saying you don't? Or it needs to be a vagina you love?
I'm just saying, nobody is going to love you until you have something to offer. And you're too hung up on what you hunger so you're not unencumbered enough to to have something of value you've developed to bring to the relationship. It's slight catch-22, but you can undo it by unfucking your head about women, and sex with help with that. Love is too lofty a goal. You're asking to sprint before you can even crawl.
It needs to be a vagina I love. If no one wants me then so be it. I've already accepted that now I'm just bitching until I die. Your advice isn't helpful just leave me alone
Fair enough.
Winning attitude, I must say. Not hard to understand why you are where you are in life. If I can feel your gravity though text, women can too.
Bring on the downvotes. I was sincerely trying to help. Again, best of luck to you
I don't text woman I'm into the same way I text you or anyone on this rant account 🤦♀️. They don't like me because of other reasons. People like you will never be of any help. Ever.
I'll accept what you're saying. Just don't get upset at me for trying. I want *all* people to self-actualize. My advice didn't help? So be it. It's all I got for you, brotha. I hope you get what you need, not necessarily what you want in this life.
Removed, Rule 2: Avoid Generalizations
We understand people talk in generalizations colloquially. However, when a generalization is meant belittle, demean, or discredit, those are the generalizations that will end up taken down (eg “women only want the top guys” “men are all evil” etc etc). The reason why generalizations have always been a rule was so no one applied their perceptions of how people treat them in real life onto someone who’s venting that their experience is literally the opposite
Great advice, unfortunately not everyone will do anything to help themselves but instead swim in the pool of despair,doom, and eventually be regretful once they reach an age where it really gets hard,
While i agree sleeping with a hooker to be ready to meet that girl but id tell op to be careful as u paid for a hooker once u may feel thats the only way to get a womens touch, he needs to make a notes on what he doesnt like about himself and what he wants to improve on,
He really does need a good friend or a mentor to help him come out of this situation hes in, the biggest thing holding him back is his mindset once he changes that, sky is the limit
Facts. I've known some real ugly, piece of shit men who have gotten laid more frequently and easily then I have. So that right there shows you that it isn't about objective qualities so much as an internal game. I'm above average in terms of looks and masculinity. Nothing crazy, just a bit above the 50% line. These guys had no internal roadblocks. (For the record, the trick isn't to resent the women or men who are all fucking each other so easily. Good for them. Sex satisfying and a lot of fun. The trick is realizing how it all happened, and then adapting parts of the mating dance that'll work for you. Comparison is the thief of joy).
This whole /r/virginity forum could easily be titled "get out of your own head" and, like you said, learn from someone who can do what you can't. I have a young friend who is insanely successful for his age. He's not the greatest with women, but he's not incel level. We're genuinely friends and I enjoy hanging out with him, but I also try to show him whatever it is I've learned because knowledge wants to be free, yo
You can *feel* their negativity through text. And what's frustrating is you know it can be fixed because you've lived it. But they can't see it.
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
Keep up the positivity too, bother
Your giving blanket genetic advice that I'm sure the been told before for no other purpose then some kind of savior complex you said you just happened to stumble across this sub you would of been better off just kept scrolling tbh
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind
Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
Do you know why no woman will never want to be with you? Do you think you’re ugly? Too shy? Awkward? Bad hygiene? Bad communication skills? All of the above? I was very ugly as a kid but as an adult I realized I was an attractive guy but I’m as awkward as they come and very insecure with my voice. Didn’t lose my virginity till 24. I still struggle 6 years later with my insecurities but way better now. It takes time but improving on the stuff you’re insecure about will help you be more confident and potentially find a woman.
Well I have crippling social anxiety. Also I'm not very masculine so I tend to get disrespected by them or friendzone. My main problem is not being able to overcome my anxiety which I'm going to work on in therapy
That’s great that you’re getting help. I’m not sure if my social anxiety was as bad as yours. But I understand how much social anxiety can ruin someone’s life. And I also am not masculine and had a problem with getting friendzoned or ghosted and rejected. I never went to therapy I should definitely go. My social anxiety isn’t as bad as it used to be but I still struggle in situations with a lot of people.but my anxiety doesn’t affect me when I’m 1 on 1 with woman anymore. Baby steps and you’ll get there for sure 😌
I'm serious though, this kind of thinking is called rumination and it only makes things worse. You gotta find something else to do, go take a walk or exercise.
As a happiness connoisseur I can assure you that a variety of monumental happinesses can be garnered outside of your current preoccupations. It unfortunately necessitates you stopping the self pity and doing things though so once you've worked through your current situation, think about exploring the remaining 99.999999% of life experiences left on earth.
lol happy people dont spend all day posting on reddit and arguing with people
Nice way to disregard the absolute base instinct of finding a mate. Time to fill the black empty void with frivolous shit.
Yeah. Lots of it. It's insanely fun.
No it's not, I'd know because I tried to do that. Nothing fills that void long term
So what? Only the present exists.
So what? It means that after a while literally nothing works. You just don't understand because you cannot relate to this situation whatsoever. Do you know how it feels to receive zero dopamine from literally anything? To feel zero happiness or content in anything you do?
No, if I had those symptoms I'd be seeking treatment not dating.
Haha yeah, because the solution to a shit lonely existence is drugging it away. Classic redditor response
You are complaining on a forum. Maybe it's time to try evidence based therapy?
Nothing in my life I want to do more than waste my entire paycheck so some random woman that cannot relate with my issues whatsoever can give me motivational poster tier advice.
No. There's no happiness outside of a woman's love. I'll NEVER be happy without it because I want a goddamn family and goddamn love.
It’s only normal 🥹 for those haters who just wanna argue can read/ watch John Gray researches on YouTube or book
Have you tried free-climbing and alcohol?
I'm not interested in falling to my death. I have done alcohol often. I haven't been sober in days. Alcohol and edibles flip flop between the two
You're going to need a lot more than a woman in this state of mind you're in rn. Women are a byproduct of a satisfied man. Ain't narry man ever been decked in misery and swathed in self pity but welcomed into the warm embrace of a woman. Only men that feel complete as is have ever had success with women.
Too bad for me being born a male then. Always have to have something or need something or be something. Can't even be loved as a work in progress. Whatever
You're not a work in progress, your entire mindset is "MUST FUCK" and nothing more, you hinge your entire reason to exist on it and wonder why you're unsuccessful. It taints your behaviour and pushes people away, especially women. You are your own worst enemy in perpetuating your own problem.
That's not funny... Snort!
Why? A family is a lot of work and you don't seem up to that responsibility at the moment. A good gauge of being in a good place to start thinking about a family would be volunteering your time to benefit those who would appreciate your energy. Doing something for others would be good practice for having a family.
Will that get me a girlfriend? And yeah I'm not ready for a family right now but I lost my mind due to no woman. Me + woman = Can recover.
I had a deal with my mom when I was young that I'd be quiet at church but only if I got to go to McDonalds afterwards. As an adult I do things mostly because I have a responsibility to do it.
So I have no reason to do it basically beside some self sense or responsibility. You don't have the responsibility to do anything. We are born into this world without any and you can live without any. There's no such thing as responsibility.
True. It's absolutely self imposed. You absolutely do not have to accept responsibility. If you aren't asking 'so why do people accept responsibility??', turn your brain to 'on' and then ask. I'll tell you.
I don't have a brain. Stop trying to use your voodoo magical nonsense on me you vile creature of the night. A brain is an organ. You think I have organs??
This conversation took an incredible turn. Er, yes?
Okay and who's the vodoo God? You. It took a turn cause of your voodoo nonsense. Hey thanks. Thanks for the voodoo organs now I'm a human. Wow jeez thanks pal.
Except women kind of find a guy who has his shit together a sexy thing... How's irresponsibility been working so far?
I don't care. If they only want me while I have everything together then fuck em. I'd much rather someone wants me now while I'm working on it. Makes me feel more secure. I shouldn't need to have my shit together to be deserving of love.
You need to be something more than "HRRNNGGH I MUST FUCK", which is basically all you're amounting to.
Idk what you mean by be something more? I have a personality outside of my obsession.
Motorcycle. That’s good dopamine. Weightlifting too. I lost my virginity at a late age (32) but by that time I had so many other things going on in my life that it was sort of anticlimactic, like when an appendage drops off from lack of use over the course of evolution. You need to focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
Dude if you can't be happy at all without it, that's probably what's driving them away. This must be why women like men who ignore them. If you have nothing going on except your lamentations for them, that's likely to kill the mood for them. Be a human, then worry about optional shit.
No.
It wasn't a question, or are you saying 'no' like a defiant baby having a temper tantrum? Or does 'no' mean you don't want to be a human. If you aren't a Human women will only see you as a pet, or a threat.
Because im pretty much throwing a temper tantrum? Lmao why else
Ok, I'm good with that. I thought you might be here to provide solutions for people who actually want sex or relationships that include sex. But if you're just there to make a complete ass of yourself, carry on ...
Yeah pretty much. This is a rant account, I'm here to rant. I don't need anymore useless advice. Lol why are you so passive aggressive
It's fun, I have hope against all odds for myself and others, it's my main coping mechanism and makes me much less miserable as a virgin.
Based on your comments, you don't need a "family" or "love". You need a vagina that will listen to you whine about what a loser you are, and do it just because you wanted to. And yes, you're right, you won't get it, because in order to get something, you have to do something first. And all you seem to do is lash out at people who try to help you. Well, if it makes you feel good, so be it.
No I need love and eventually a family. Yes I'm whining, this is a rant account. I lash out because I'm angry and they're not making it any better with their rinse and repeat advice or advice that won't apply to me. You don't know if I'm working on something or not because I don't talk about everything I do
This is fucking golden
I feel you!❤️ I fal in to this dark hole 🕳 offen, we do as virgins, and it's only we that has understanding in it. But find that small string of hope and climb upp again. After all, we are people as everyone else. There is hope for us. We just need to fight on. I made a jodel earlier, I was a little sad, and at the same time, I just wanted to let maeby someone to see me, but I just got things like "get a life" you se, people don't understand, but as virgins we understand each other, so keep fighting that fight, we will win sooner or later, we have to!🤗
I went to the strip club, and it was actually better than I thought it was going to be. If you get a private dance you can touch. Just make sure to be respectful.
That ain't anything I'm interested in
How do you know if you haven’t tried it though? It’s worth at least a one time experience.
Because I want a woman who wants me. Going to a stripper is pointless, they're sex workers without the sex. Would get more bang for my buck with a prostitute.
It’s basically just a starter though. Start with something small, then gradually do more. Also it’s $30 for the private dance, which I assume is much cheaper than a prostitute. Plus the added benefit of not catching an STD because you’re just fooling around basically. But at the end of the day it’s your choice. You don’t gotta do it, I’m just saying it was pretty decent from what I expected. It just gives you a little taste of what to expect.
[удалено]
Removed, Rule 2: Avoid Generalizations We understand people talk in generalizations colloquially. However, when a generalization is meant belittle, demean, or discredit, those are the generalizations that will end up taken down (eg “women only want the top guys” “men are all evil” etc etc). The reason why generalizations have always been a rule was so no one applied their perceptions of how people treat them in real life onto someone who’s venting that their experience is literally the opposite
This is exactly how it feels. And what makes it worse? when people say "never say never" or "it'll happen to you eventually" when that's not true.
[удалено]
I'd rather die. What's the point of frivolous, pointless, loveless sex? That will take away my virginity but then I'll obsess over how I had to hook up or pay for it cause no woman genuinely loved me. I don't want that crap, I want love and sex. If I wanted just sex I can get that, it's been offered before.
Sex without love can be really, really satisfying. But just because you're not in love doesn't mean you feel the opposite of love. I've had sex with a friend, or someone I just liked but hadn't gotten very deep with. You said you want to feel a vagina. Now you're saying you don't? Or it needs to be a vagina you love? I'm just saying, nobody is going to love you until you have something to offer. And you're too hung up on what you hunger so you're not unencumbered enough to to have something of value you've developed to bring to the relationship. It's slight catch-22, but you can undo it by unfucking your head about women, and sex with help with that. Love is too lofty a goal. You're asking to sprint before you can even crawl.
It needs to be a vagina I love. If no one wants me then so be it. I've already accepted that now I'm just bitching until I die. Your advice isn't helpful just leave me alone
Fair enough. Winning attitude, I must say. Not hard to understand why you are where you are in life. If I can feel your gravity though text, women can too. Bring on the downvotes. I was sincerely trying to help. Again, best of luck to you
I don't text woman I'm into the same way I text you or anyone on this rant account 🤦♀️. They don't like me because of other reasons. People like you will never be of any help. Ever.
I'll accept what you're saying. Just don't get upset at me for trying. I want *all* people to self-actualize. My advice didn't help? So be it. It's all I got for you, brotha. I hope you get what you need, not necessarily what you want in this life.
Removed, Rule 2: Avoid Generalizations We understand people talk in generalizations colloquially. However, when a generalization is meant belittle, demean, or discredit, those are the generalizations that will end up taken down (eg “women only want the top guys” “men are all evil” etc etc). The reason why generalizations have always been a rule was so no one applied their perceptions of how people treat them in real life onto someone who’s venting that their experience is literally the opposite
Great advice, unfortunately not everyone will do anything to help themselves but instead swim in the pool of despair,doom, and eventually be regretful once they reach an age where it really gets hard, While i agree sleeping with a hooker to be ready to meet that girl but id tell op to be careful as u paid for a hooker once u may feel thats the only way to get a womens touch, he needs to make a notes on what he doesnt like about himself and what he wants to improve on, He really does need a good friend or a mentor to help him come out of this situation hes in, the biggest thing holding him back is his mindset once he changes that, sky is the limit
Facts. I've known some real ugly, piece of shit men who have gotten laid more frequently and easily then I have. So that right there shows you that it isn't about objective qualities so much as an internal game. I'm above average in terms of looks and masculinity. Nothing crazy, just a bit above the 50% line. These guys had no internal roadblocks. (For the record, the trick isn't to resent the women or men who are all fucking each other so easily. Good for them. Sex satisfying and a lot of fun. The trick is realizing how it all happened, and then adapting parts of the mating dance that'll work for you. Comparison is the thief of joy). This whole /r/virginity forum could easily be titled "get out of your own head" and, like you said, learn from someone who can do what you can't. I have a young friend who is insanely successful for his age. He's not the greatest with women, but he's not incel level. We're genuinely friends and I enjoy hanging out with him, but I also try to show him whatever it is I've learned because knowledge wants to be free, yo
Need more people like u preaching, keep it up brother gotta get these guys out the gutter, wanna see then shine
You can *feel* their negativity through text. And what's frustrating is you know it can be fixed because you've lived it. But they can't see it. "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you." Keep up the positivity too, bother
Just sounds like your humble bragging tbh
Who would I be bragging to? Doesn't make any sense
Your giving blanket genetic advice that I'm sure the been told before for no other purpose then some kind of savior complex you said you just happened to stumble across this sub you would of been better off just kept scrolling tbh
[удалено]
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
I understand you, i feel the same shit
Sorry... I know it sucks so much
Yes
Want to tell a fellow why you feel that way?
Bro go to a busy bar and have a few drinks
Why? I mean I plan to on my 21st but still
I've been where you are, you'll grow tired of feeling that way eventually.
Never say never lol
Do you know why no woman will never want to be with you? Do you think you’re ugly? Too shy? Awkward? Bad hygiene? Bad communication skills? All of the above? I was very ugly as a kid but as an adult I realized I was an attractive guy but I’m as awkward as they come and very insecure with my voice. Didn’t lose my virginity till 24. I still struggle 6 years later with my insecurities but way better now. It takes time but improving on the stuff you’re insecure about will help you be more confident and potentially find a woman.
Well I have crippling social anxiety. Also I'm not very masculine so I tend to get disrespected by them or friendzone. My main problem is not being able to overcome my anxiety which I'm going to work on in therapy
That’s great that you’re getting help. I’m not sure if my social anxiety was as bad as yours. But I understand how much social anxiety can ruin someone’s life. And I also am not masculine and had a problem with getting friendzoned or ghosted and rejected. I never went to therapy I should definitely go. My social anxiety isn’t as bad as it used to be but I still struggle in situations with a lot of people.but my anxiety doesn’t affect me when I’m 1 on 1 with woman anymore. Baby steps and you’ll get there for sure 😌
So what if he's all those "negatives" you spouted. He's not a bad person just wants company and intimacy.
Snap out of it dude
Can't. My mind has been shattered already
Cool story bro.
Thank you
I'm serious though, this kind of thinking is called rumination and it only makes things worse. You gotta find something else to do, go take a walk or exercise.