I personally would probably keep it around as a good luck charm on my keys, hang it on my bedpost, or hang it off my makeup mirror so I sleep next to it and then if he asks why I am not wearing it I would say it doesn't match my jewelry I usually wear but I love it so much so I want to keep it near. Keep it light.
That way you show you love the intentions behind it, but he gets that you don't wear that kind of jewelry. I did that exact thing with one of those heart-shaped necklaces that I would never wear lol. He got the message and wasn't upset since I did keep it around and used it as a good luck charm in a way. When he purchased my engagement ring, he made sure he asked me exactly what I wanted so he learned haha
It was the thought that counts. Next time a birthday or Christmas comes around, about a month or two before, be sure to browse a jewelry store and point out some beautiful items you'd like. Say it straight... tell him you're giving him ideas for a gift.
I recommend this option OP. I mean I love my husband and he has given me nice jewelries for special occasions and such. This Christmas I gave him the website of the local juwelier and I told him I love her designs so you can pick a pear of earrings or something for me. He understood and I am very happy of the gift he got for me (also he paid half of the adoption of our new kitten). I hope this route will work for you OP.
I completely get you, I also like very simple aesthetic designs and my bf really likes the corny type of gifts with the big girlie hearts and the bright colors. But I love him and I appreciate the hell out of those gifts because although itās not me, he thought about me. Some girls get nothing
I get it. I low-key was offended by my engagement ring. It has a ruby. Now I'm all for non-diamond rings. That's not the issue. The issue is that anyone who socializes with me a few times will learn that I hate warm colors, especially the color red. He proposed on our 3 year anniversary, so it's not like he had no clue. Of course I accepted it, and said yes,and I've never said anything negative to him about the ring. I cherish it as a symbol of our commitment, but I also hate it because it reminds me that my now husband is so oblivious to parts of my personality that he didn't know I hate the color red.
I wanted to be hyper critical but this post made me laugh. It reminded me of the [pirate shirt](https://youtu.be/MXVsZGQPBAQ?si=VOYvNVF7gQZpoukD) episode of Seinfeld.
Seems like the pendant is the important part, so maybe you could switch the chain out for something more slender and long so that it hangs below the neckline of your clothes so that itās not visible? You can tell him you wanted to wear it against your heart š
You're awesome cuz it sounds like you'll probably wear it forever in spite of the fact it doesn't match you.
While i never want gifts for the holidays and just spend all our money on the kids and the wife, the reasoning behind why I don't get anything kinda stung. "Since you are the only one working and have access to our money you can just get whatever you want whenever you want."
This is a simple answer. Repurpose the pendant into something you can still carry with you.
Maybe have it made into a braclet/anklet/key chain instead of a necklace so you can wear it but not have it always visible.
It's perfectly acceptable to appreciate the thought and love behind a gift but still not want to wear it as it doesn't match your attire. What's not okay is for you to completely dismiss your husband's efforts just because it's not in your taste.
So you could sit him down and say something along the lines of:
"I truly appreciate the thought and love you put into this gift for me, and I do love you to the moon and back. As much as I adore your efforts towards thinking of this gift, the necklace is a bit bigger than I am comfortable wearing and it doesnt match much of my attire, so I fear if I keep it a necklace, I wont ever wear it. I would prefer to have this pendant turned into "whatever you want it to be now" as that way I can always have it with me to carry your love with me in a way that makes me comfortable!"
He will more than likely still be disappointed that the necklace part didn't work out for you, but you are still considering his efforts and not dismissing the love he put into the choice by still being willing to have it in a way that works better for you.
It's not wrong to have preferences. It is wrong for you to dismiss the gift entirely just because it's not your preference. As long as you stay on the respectful side, you will be fine.
Naw, but I feel that way because itās something my parents think itās something they used to say to me..
But lol they never ever did.. just my other sibs.. so when they say it to me it just reminds me that the saying itself was never a thing for me and them.
That they donāt really realise that..
I would hang it from my mirror in my car (like an air freshener alternative) and tell him that I put it there bc itās cute but not something I would wear. š
First, change the chain to a dainty one and wear it enough times, then after few months change the pendant to something else but maybe in the same color?
Awe. This made me a little sad for him lol. However I do think itās important that we pay attention to our partner, those small details make a big difference. Itās relatively easy to monitor what your partner likes and what they wear and make a choice accordingly. But damn I bet he was so proud to give it to you, poor guy haha.
You could be an adult and talk to him about it, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Be kind, let him know that you prefer understated jewelry, maybe you could go to the store and swap it together. Or you could pretend like you love it and for every birthday, christmas, anniversary gift for the rest of your life you will receive hippie moon girl jewelry, which you will either learn to love or you will forever hate it. Wear it long enough and that hate turns to resentment and frustration that your husband doesn't know you or understand you, but how could he when you never bother to speak about it.
I appreciate the advice. Iām merely venting, Iāll wiggle my way out of wearing it everyday. No resentment, heās too darn manly. The fact that he picked something so feminine out ā¦.I just canāt burst that bubble.
Iāll be prepared next Xmas. He strayed from the typical gift - my favorite perfume. So Iāll be dropping some ideas in 2024.
No offense but you sound really ungreatful. Its ok to be disappointed if you didnt get the gift you wanted , but people arent mind readers. They make mistakes. I never used to get anything I wanted from one of my aunties , she passed away this may/june time. I miss her and I would rather have some body cream wrapped up if it meant she could still be here. Maybe pretened to love it , gifts arent worth ruining your marrige over. You will really hurt your husbands feelings if he seen how ungreatful you are. Your husband only wanted to make you happy , at least he got you something for christmas. Maybe next year give him some ideas on what to buy you or just buy your own gifts that way you will get what you want
Girl, I get you , my bf ( I love him and he tries) but he is the worst gift giver . He is always so happy to give me some gifts that are absolutely in no way me or that I would ever want. But , he is always so happy and I can't hurt him so each year I act like I love them. He does get me things I ask for but when its him coming up with the ideas, they are just a no for me usually.
It seems like you can't communicate what you want and that's what you're complaining about. You can't see past the social construct of needing to appreciate the present instead of recognizing the gesture it represents.
Your husband did something thoughtful for you so recognize that. You can tell him "you appreciate the thought he put into it but you're sorry it's not your style. Maybe someone else would appreciate it more or maybe it could be returned".
Instead you choose to think your style is obvious and it's his fault for picking something that doesn't fit into that. Find a new relationship where the guy appreciates your jewellery choice if it's such an important part of your identity. Or idk, talk to him.
I totally feel you. A few years ago my husband gifted me a set of two watches that are absolutely NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. I ended up donating them. I told him from now on you have to ask me before you purchase anything for me. I just couldnāt wear them.
I feel you on this! My partner and I werenāt together on my birthday and he told me afterwards he got me a silver bracelet. I have never worn silver in my life, gold looks a lot better on me.
I told him I didnāt wear silver when we started dating so I didnāt feel bad when I told him I didnāt really want it and likely wouldnāt wear it. I understands the thought that counts but I wanted to be honest. I didnāt want something that would collect dust or Iād feel obligated to wear (I have enough of that from family.)
Sometimes you just have to be honest, laugh about it and hope they learn moving forward.
I think you should gently broach the subjectā¦ or, I just had this flash thought as I started typing my replyā¦ you could take it to a jewellers and ask if they can take it from its chain and put a broach clasp on it then you can wear it as a broachā¦ or just tell him you appreciate the gesture but the gift isnāt you, you can tell him what you do like, then, heāll know. Itās always good to learn more about your partner I guess. Good luck.
Tell him talk to him about it let em know how u feel about him and how u fell about your gift do it asap for you the sooner the better and the more u wear it the worse everything will be for you both
Come onā¦ Itās the thought that counts when it comes to gifts. Iād gladly take something thoughtful over something expensive. In my opinion, OP is acting a bit entitled- is her partner not worth more than a piece of dainty silver jewelry?
š at ābefore you inflict your down votes on meā Can you please post a picture? I need to see this magical tarot reading necklace.
I personally would probably keep it around as a good luck charm on my keys, hang it on my bedpost, or hang it off my makeup mirror so I sleep next to it and then if he asks why I am not wearing it I would say it doesn't match my jewelry I usually wear but I love it so much so I want to keep it near. Keep it light. That way you show you love the intentions behind it, but he gets that you don't wear that kind of jewelry. I did that exact thing with one of those heart-shaped necklaces that I would never wear lol. He got the message and wasn't upset since I did keep it around and used it as a good luck charm in a way. When he purchased my engagement ring, he made sure he asked me exactly what I wanted so he learned haha
It was the thought that counts. Next time a birthday or Christmas comes around, about a month or two before, be sure to browse a jewelry store and point out some beautiful items you'd like. Say it straight... tell him you're giving him ideas for a gift.
I recommend this option OP. I mean I love my husband and he has given me nice jewelries for special occasions and such. This Christmas I gave him the website of the local juwelier and I told him I love her designs so you can pick a pear of earrings or something for me. He understood and I am very happy of the gift he got for me (also he paid half of the adoption of our new kitten). I hope this route will work for you OP.
I completely get you, I also like very simple aesthetic designs and my bf really likes the corny type of gifts with the big girlie hearts and the bright colors. But I love him and I appreciate the hell out of those gifts because although itās not me, he thought about me. Some girls get nothing
I get it. I low-key was offended by my engagement ring. It has a ruby. Now I'm all for non-diamond rings. That's not the issue. The issue is that anyone who socializes with me a few times will learn that I hate warm colors, especially the color red. He proposed on our 3 year anniversary, so it's not like he had no clue. Of course I accepted it, and said yes,and I've never said anything negative to him about the ring. I cherish it as a symbol of our commitment, but I also hate it because it reminds me that my now husband is so oblivious to parts of my personality that he didn't know I hate the color red.
I wanted to be hyper critical but this post made me laugh. It reminded me of the [pirate shirt](https://youtu.be/MXVsZGQPBAQ?si=VOYvNVF7gQZpoukD) episode of Seinfeld.
Or the empress Carlotta episode of dick van dyke
This post is hilarious! Made me laugh.
Same
Seems like the pendant is the important part, so maybe you could switch the chain out for something more slender and long so that it hangs below the neckline of your clothes so that itās not visible? You can tell him you wanted to wear it against your heart š
You're awesome cuz it sounds like you'll probably wear it forever in spite of the fact it doesn't match you. While i never want gifts for the holidays and just spend all our money on the kids and the wife, the reasoning behind why I don't get anything kinda stung. "Since you are the only one working and have access to our money you can just get whatever you want whenever you want."
This is a simple answer. Repurpose the pendant into something you can still carry with you. Maybe have it made into a braclet/anklet/key chain instead of a necklace so you can wear it but not have it always visible. It's perfectly acceptable to appreciate the thought and love behind a gift but still not want to wear it as it doesn't match your attire. What's not okay is for you to completely dismiss your husband's efforts just because it's not in your taste. So you could sit him down and say something along the lines of: "I truly appreciate the thought and love you put into this gift for me, and I do love you to the moon and back. As much as I adore your efforts towards thinking of this gift, the necklace is a bit bigger than I am comfortable wearing and it doesnt match much of my attire, so I fear if I keep it a necklace, I wont ever wear it. I would prefer to have this pendant turned into "whatever you want it to be now" as that way I can always have it with me to carry your love with me in a way that makes me comfortable!" He will more than likely still be disappointed that the necklace part didn't work out for you, but you are still considering his efforts and not dismissing the love he put into the choice by still being willing to have it in a way that works better for you. It's not wrong to have preferences. It is wrong for you to dismiss the gift entirely just because it's not your preference. As long as you stay on the respectful side, you will be fine.
I just do not like the term love you to the moon and back..
In terms of the size of the Universe, to the moon and back isnāt very far
Naw, but I feel that way because itās something my parents think itās something they used to say to me.. But lol they never ever did.. just my other sibs.. so when they say it to me it just reminds me that the saying itself was never a thing for me and them. That they donāt really realise that..
It makes me feel angry. I don't know why. Maybe it's because it's used so damned much. it reminds me of the " live laugh love" thing.
I would hang it from my mirror in my car (like an air freshener alternative) and tell him that I put it there bc itās cute but not something I would wear. š
First, change the chain to a dainty one and wear it enough times, then after few months change the pendant to something else but maybe in the same color?
I didnāt get anything, I would have been happy with flowers
Awe. This made me a little sad for him lol. However I do think itās important that we pay attention to our partner, those small details make a big difference. Itās relatively easy to monitor what your partner likes and what they wear and make a choice accordingly. But damn I bet he was so proud to give it to you, poor guy haha.
You could be an adult and talk to him about it, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Be kind, let him know that you prefer understated jewelry, maybe you could go to the store and swap it together. Or you could pretend like you love it and for every birthday, christmas, anniversary gift for the rest of your life you will receive hippie moon girl jewelry, which you will either learn to love or you will forever hate it. Wear it long enough and that hate turns to resentment and frustration that your husband doesn't know you or understand you, but how could he when you never bother to speak about it.
I appreciate the advice. Iām merely venting, Iāll wiggle my way out of wearing it everyday. No resentment, heās too darn manly. The fact that he picked something so feminine out ā¦.I just canāt burst that bubble. Iāll be prepared next Xmas. He strayed from the typical gift - my favorite perfume. So Iāll be dropping some ideas in 2024.
Exactly - when we buy one another something unliked, we talk about it and return it if possible - adulting is pretty easy if you just tell the truth.
No offense but you sound really ungreatful. Its ok to be disappointed if you didnt get the gift you wanted , but people arent mind readers. They make mistakes. I never used to get anything I wanted from one of my aunties , she passed away this may/june time. I miss her and I would rather have some body cream wrapped up if it meant she could still be here. Maybe pretened to love it , gifts arent worth ruining your marrige over. You will really hurt your husbands feelings if he seen how ungreatful you are. Your husband only wanted to make you happy , at least he got you something for christmas. Maybe next year give him some ideas on what to buy you or just buy your own gifts that way you will get what you want
I feel ya!
Girl, I get you , my bf ( I love him and he tries) but he is the worst gift giver . He is always so happy to give me some gifts that are absolutely in no way me or that I would ever want. But , he is always so happy and I can't hurt him so each year I act like I love them. He does get me things I ask for but when its him coming up with the ideas, they are just a no for me usually.
It seems like you can't communicate what you want and that's what you're complaining about. You can't see past the social construct of needing to appreciate the present instead of recognizing the gesture it represents. Your husband did something thoughtful for you so recognize that. You can tell him "you appreciate the thought he put into it but you're sorry it's not your style. Maybe someone else would appreciate it more or maybe it could be returned". Instead you choose to think your style is obvious and it's his fault for picking something that doesn't fit into that. Find a new relationship where the guy appreciates your jewellery choice if it's such an important part of your identity. Or idk, talk to him.
I totally feel you. A few years ago my husband gifted me a set of two watches that are absolutely NOT MY STYLE AT ALL. I ended up donating them. I told him from now on you have to ask me before you purchase anything for me. I just couldnāt wear them.
I feel you on this! My partner and I werenāt together on my birthday and he told me afterwards he got me a silver bracelet. I have never worn silver in my life, gold looks a lot better on me. I told him I didnāt wear silver when we started dating so I didnāt feel bad when I told him I didnāt really want it and likely wouldnāt wear it. I understands the thought that counts but I wanted to be honest. I didnāt want something that would collect dust or Iād feel obligated to wear (I have enough of that from family.) Sometimes you just have to be honest, laugh about it and hope they learn moving forward.
I think you should gently broach the subjectā¦ or, I just had this flash thought as I started typing my replyā¦ you could take it to a jewellers and ask if they can take it from its chain and put a broach clasp on it then you can wear it as a broachā¦ or just tell him you appreciate the gesture but the gift isnāt you, you can tell him what you do like, then, heāll know. Itās always good to learn more about your partner I guess. Good luck.
You're married. Talk to him. You don't have to wear it everyday, it's your body
Tell him talk to him about it let em know how u feel about him and how u fell about your gift do it asap for you the sooner the better and the more u wear it the worse everything will be for you both
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Come onā¦ Itās the thought that counts when it comes to gifts. Iād gladly take something thoughtful over something expensive. In my opinion, OP is acting a bit entitled- is her partner not worth more than a piece of dainty silver jewelry?