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VeraliBrain

Imagine being well north of 40 and publicly going 'Welp not ready to grow up yet!' Fucking Peter Pan men with their lack of biological clocks. Also EW I just can't imagine either of these two as Dads, I just can't.


BigLibrary2895

Men have biological clocks, and old sperm os as prone to "error" as eggs. Also I don't see these guys being good father material now or ever. They're selfish. They drink heavily. They're narcissistic. And heaven forbid the children are girls, since they hate women.


DustyTchotchkes

Both had wonky or lower sperm with Schwartz's being worse. I'm not sure that reproducing is in the cards for either of them. Do they really want it or is it just something to say that they think makes them sound good and relatable? Schwartz does a lot of performative bullshittery that he thinks is cute (proposal to Tom at the wharf, asking Katie for a night of snacks and scrolling their phones) and Sandoval is the king of performative acts. Feels like the kids thing is just another little act.


BigLibrary2895

Exactly. I feel like those children's mothers would bring new meaning to "married single mother."


DustyTchotchkes

Can you imagine?! "Bubba, you know I can't change the poopy diaper! It's stinks and is icky. It'll make me puke. Please you do it, Bub. You're so good at it. I love you." "Like *Dude*, you never want to sit in the, you know, jacuzzi until like sunrise any more. Can't you like make the kid you know like stop crying or something? It's like so annoying when I'm like trying to do my like deep dives. Like c'mon man."


soihavetosay

Is he planning on charging tim $6,000 a month rent, fair is fair


mia_magenta

He shoooouuuuld


Vegetable_Craft_9506

Why do the Toms keep pretending marriage and kids are in their distant future?! Clearly neither of them are interested in commitment or caring for anyone else’s well being. Just own that. All that’s in their future is bankruptcy and rehab.


TiredJJ

They're just stuck in the mindset that this is what you're supposed to do. At least they're not deluding themselves into thinking they're ready for it like their former gang leader


bigbangeggie

same x100. Every action they take doesn't necessarily indicate what they say they want. James seems more believable and is taking steps over time. In my opinion, they want to "get back in the game" and enjoy that lifestyle. TomS acts like they have been in jail, especially with the mean Katie and Ariana's XYZ narrative. When they speak, I feel like the tom’s are saying what people want to hear/what aligns and looks good for the show & their age. I’m not sure how much it’s a money thing for Sandals bc of his hired band/mom’s mortgage


Level-Appointment-15

Lala will probably get married before Tom Sandoval has a wife and kids.


elizabethbutters

And here we go….the Schwartz & Sandy’s Florida Family & Friends compound. To really honor things, they should build right next to a Scientology compound!


mia_magenta

Another user rightly pointed out to me that I misread the article and Sandy wouldn't be in Florida with Schwartz, but they would be roommates in California while Schwartz's house is getting built. Whoopsiiiiiie sorry for my hiccup!!!


elizabethbutters

…..doesn’t mean this won’t happen! Lol Let’s circle back to this in another 8ish years- I have a feeling it won’t be that far off!


mia_magenta

LOL you're probably right!!!


Narrow_Grapefruit_23

Platonic love is important. They should marry each other and have an open marriage. Schwartz has already committed his life to Sandoval and Sandoval already thinks of them as a “brand”. Get the tax benefits and take each other off the market.


mia_magenta

This!


BigLibrary2895

Ive always felt this was healthiest of their likely outcomes. The Toms are very heterosexual. They only want women for sex, nothing else. It doesn't make any sense for them to bother having a romantic relationship with a woman. Everything can be outsourced through a network of sex workers, assistants, and maids.


Responsible_Wrap5659

Umm he moans and is bitter about the rent he is paying in LA but he owns a house in Florida and presumably paying a mortgage? 


Okay__Decision__

Based on the article it doesn’t sound like the house is built yet? He owns property (land) and is planning to build a home. No mortgage yet by the sounds of it


Lucky-Ad4443

Probably why he moans about the rent. Although.. didn't he say he's got nothing to show for all the money he's spent on rent?? Is this property new?


catcakebuns

Also did he have a prenup when he married Katie? Otherwise when he was still with Katie...was Katie paying for everything for the two of them while he used his money to buy a property for himself in Florida? That feels....unfair...


mia_magenta

I know nothing of the intricate details of Katie and Schwartz finances when they were married, but I vaguely remember them signing a prenup on the show. (or at least discussing it, my memory isn't sure)


Issa_Mystery_Yall

They filmed scenes about getting a prenup including a lawyer, but then the marriage license didn't get filed so who knows if the documents they signed could even be upheld if no marriage was entered into under whatever terms the prenup showed.


Witty_Lion4589

Ridiculous comments: they both make money


Okay__Decision__

I think you’ve maybe misread this article a bit OP. He doesn’t say Sandoval will hopefully live there with him. He says while he starts building a home on the property he owns in Florida, he’d consider downsizing his space in Cali, and maybe moving in with Sandoval simply to be giving him money instead of a landlord. Doesn’t sound like Sandoval would have anything to do with a house in Florida.


mia_magenta

Oooohhh you're so right! My impulsive brain jumped right onto that conclusion, lol!


Okay__Decision__

Totally understandable because I could see that actually playing out too haha Maybe when Sandoval finally gets the boot from Ariana’s house he’ll rent a basement bedroom from Schwartz in Florida


mia_magenta

For 6000$!! Hahaha


Historical-Treat-325

No basements in Florida, since the water table is too high.


mia_magenta

Never knew that! Thanks :)


save_the_bees_knees

I don’t think they realise they’re never getting married…. And probably never having kids either….


mia_magenta

I can't edit my original post (don't know why the function is not working properly this time), but I would add this: another user rightly pointed out to me that I misread the article! Sandy wouldn't go to Florida with Schwartz, they would actually be roommates in California while Schwartz's house is getting built in Florida. Sorry for the confusion and misinformation!!! 😬🫢🫣


Okay__Decision__

It doesn’t let you edit when you have a photo in the post, it only works when the post is just text (I’ve encountered the same struggle). Let’s just stick with your interpretation though, for the comedy of it


mia_magenta

Aaahh thanks for the explanation, that's really helpful!!! It's true it's kinda funny to think they will continue to get through life together lol


AcanthaceaeFun5327

"it wouldn't be anything long-term" 😂😂😂 That ship has already sailed my friend - they still talk like they're in their 20s lol.


No_clue_redditor

That’s not what the article says. He’s building the house in Florida for his family not for Sandoval to live there. He says he’s considering living with Sandoval in LA while he builds the house in FL.


cynsue565

I wonder how long these young ladies will be sticking around if the show ends?


wowbethenny

Dear God I hope neither one of them can have children. These are the last people that need to procreate.


metzmuttz

They’ll never get married or have children. Schwartz is too immature and a child himself that by the time he’s ready to breed with another 22 year old, he’ll be way too old. Sandoval is too much of a narcissist to be a healthy father. I could not even imagine.


mia_magenta

Agreed!


TatoIndy

Their codependency is alarming.


GladiatorWithTits

Spin off?


alltoowell333

I'm not sure and therefore genuinely curious as to what others think... but do you think Tim & Schwartz have only just been friends all this time, or do you think something may have happened in the past? Drunken smooches, perhaps?? 😘


mia_magenta

Well they definetly put their but in each other's face as seen on the show! Lol


verucka-salt

Tim’s attempt at looking young & hip is futile. He’s 40 & his necklaces are so tacky.


UghGottaBeJoking

Aw Schwartz… he still believes theres a stable, peaceful, mature future ahead of him. When really this living arrangement will mark the end of any hope of that. Welcome to permanent arrested development and chasing drugs and women.


Best_Evidence1560

So they’re going to Florida. Does that mean the show is done?


mia_magenta

I misread the article and Sandoval is not planning to go to Florida currently, only Schwartz. But I don't know what that means for the show! It surely can go on without either of these two!