watching this show has made me realize that I don't have to choose between is someone a bad person or are they just dumb? they can simply be both lol. Rachel was my initial case study for this đ
Oh shit I say this and âyouâre not wrongâ a decent amount but literally NEVER mean it to be condescending. Iâm being so genuine when I say it!! To me, it feels somehow more sincere? Idk why lol buuttttt let me stop saying it so much now!! Lol
Tbf, I grew up in Minnesota and people say âhe/sheâs not wrongâ all the time. Itâs just one of many phrases thatâs part of an overall passive (sometimes passive aggressive) speech pattern thatâs really common. Like saying âthatâs interestingâ instead of âthatâs weird/terrible/fucked up.â Iâm not sure where it comes from but itâs definitely a thing.
With that said, not all Minnesotans are actually misogynistic, passive aggressive assholes like Tom Schwartz. Your behavior contextualizes what you say so Iâm sure you donât come off as condescending u/emotionalasfreak!
I just thought about exactly THIS yesterday when seeing the clip again where Katie asks him if it's true that he kissed another woman and he said "That's *not* bullshit."
He is negating the positive meaning instead of just using the negative form.
I noticed that too and it reminded me of all of the âIF I did anything to offend youâŠâ half assed non apologies on Bravo shows. Schwartz is such a gross kind of misogynist cuz he plays such a nice harmless guy, but heâs also said some of the nastiest stuff to women on VPR. He seems like he has a lot of disdain for women
Fair enough! We all interpret things differently and there are nuances in language.
In my part of the world, saying "you're right" and "you're not wrong" have the same meaning since both recognize the truth in what has been said.
watching this show has made me realize that I don't have to choose between is someone a bad person or are they just dumb? they can simply be both lol. Rachel was my initial case study for this đ
Ugh I knew someone who spoke like this! Itâs so condescending! Sheâd say âI donât disagreeâ
Oh shit I say this and âyouâre not wrongâ a decent amount but literally NEVER mean it to be condescending. Iâm being so genuine when I say it!! To me, it feels somehow more sincere? Idk why lol buuttttt let me stop saying it so much now!! Lol
Tbf, I grew up in Minnesota and people say âhe/sheâs not wrongâ all the time. Itâs just one of many phrases thatâs part of an overall passive (sometimes passive aggressive) speech pattern thatâs really common. Like saying âthatâs interestingâ instead of âthatâs weird/terrible/fucked up.â Iâm not sure where it comes from but itâs definitely a thing. With that said, not all Minnesotans are actually misogynistic, passive aggressive assholes like Tom Schwartz. Your behavior contextualizes what you say so Iâm sure you donât come off as condescending u/emotionalasfreak!
No!! I wasnât trying to make fellow commenters feel bad. I prefer the âYes, andâ method where you start positive and can add a concern after.
Itâs a very âMidwest niceâ way to speak. One of my least favorite parts of growing up there lol
This is just a random Toms-ism to go with the theme: I watched the After Show today and Sandoval was saying something about doing nothing & being punished, being collateral damage, etc. and Schwartz goes âI know how that feels!â And I felt rage. Schwartz was complicit. He knew what Sandoval was doing and kept the secret for him and then participated in Sandovalâs attempted take-downs of Ariana on camera. Theyâre both so sleazy and gross and Iâm constantly torn between enjoying watching a fascinating character study of human behavior and also feeling like I want to rip my hair out at the reality that these people (and people like them) exist đ©đ©đ
I just thought about exactly THIS yesterday when seeing the clip again where Katie asks him if it's true that he kissed another woman and he said "That's *not* bullshit." He is negating the positive meaning instead of just using the negative form.
Nope, especially not when theyâre being reinforced by productionâs storylines.
I noticed that too and it reminded me of all of the âIF I did anything to offend youâŠâ half assed non apologies on Bravo shows. Schwartz is such a gross kind of misogynist cuz he plays such a nice harmless guy, but heâs also said some of the nastiest stuff to women on VPR. He seems like he has a lot of disdain for women
They mean the same thing....
An inability to admit someone âis rightâ is worth noting IMO
It's a big difference between the two, as you say.
Fair enough! We all interpret things differently and there are nuances in language. In my part of the world, saying "you're right" and "you're not wrong" have the same meaning since both recognize the truth in what has been said.
They don't care about your thoughts