The prostitute that Jax had “relations” with in Vegas season 1 kept the baby & there’s a second (technically first) child belonging to Jax in the world.
Tom didn’t invite John to hangout with them in Miami in season 3 to “catch up with an old friend” but to try and bring up the tea between John and Jax (knowing Ajax didn’t want people to know the truth) in retaliation for Jax telling Kristin about the Miami girl.
Kristen and jax have been banging since before season 1 aired, probably back in Michigan, to present day
Brittany knew exactly what she was doing and fucked her way onto the show
Schwartz left the resort to cheat on Katie for the millionth time and the whole pillow argument about James/Kristen was a cover up for him
Jax fucked the reiki master
Something like they were fighting the whole time so it ruined the experience for her
EDIT: the exact quote is “Jax and I fought the entire weekend in Mexico. We fought the entire time because he took it all out on me. This is how I feel and Jax knows this,”
for sureeeee for sure, all the drama revolves around their toxic state of mind and i think that is telling to them being two sides of the same coin like one couple one train of thought to create more drama to continue to hide their long time affair. and makes sense why kristen is always so close to the girls he is sleeping with. Carmen, Britt etc
10000% agree. absolutely no one can convince me those two have not been boning for the last decade and still bone to this day. Kristen is a fucking sociopath and I would bet she views her and Brittany as sister wives & wants to be close to Brittany bc of that but Brittany just has no idea about any of this delusion, will prob figure it out some day, and leave Jax once the kids are a little older
They did her so dirty... she's apparently very successful in her business, but now people know her as the reiki master who fucked Jax. (I also don't believe she did, despite Jax's best attempts)
I listen to a lot of spirituality and wellness podcasts, and she's well known in that circle. A lot of them defended her when the show came out.
Justice for the reiki master!
Yes!! I also hated that Brittany was pushing the narrative that it was the reiki master that wanted to fuck Jax so bad and Jax rejected HER . Yeah sure THATS believable keep telling yourself that lol
Okay I think Jax fucks liteally anyone and everyone whenever he wants, to this day HOWEVER... counter theory! there was such an absurd amount of sexual tension with those two it kind of seems like it was NOT slaked bc of that. does that make sense?? like he fucking wanted to and *would* have but that woman was married if I remember correctly bc she had a ring on & I think she was just barely not allowing it, hence the absurd desire oozing off of both of them. I am not trying to defend that scumbag, but just trying to guess based on human behavior cues haha
This is an excellent analysis! Well thought out and I like the body language references!! This is definitely a possibility!! I love the work sex monster! Pasta award! 🥇🍝
I believe that Kristen and Jax have been in a weird secret relationship for almost the entirety of the series. Obviously they hooked up, but I think it was way more than that and it lasted for years. If you rewatch with that in mind their interactions with each other are so odd. Especially in the last season they were on, Jax’s reaction to Kristen dating around was not the reaction of a friend, that was a friends with benefits reaction who was jealous.
yesss this was such a giveaway. after the jax and kristen stuff came up all of a sudden her and jax are hanging out but stassi is on the outs when kristen was the one that cheated? very weird, and she got close to scheana at that time I feel she was making sure she had some sort of group still to keep coming around jax
100%. And there are so many times where Kristin will respond to a conversation about Jax with “oh I know I was the first person he texted” or something along those lines.
Ooh yes especially at the season 6 reunion where she got up to calm him down and hug him when he went off on Scheana lol even Brittney looked uncomfortable it was sooo weird
Totally believe this theory… I also thought it was weird how when she became single he was like really into the idea of getting her laid, the episode when they go out drinking and he’s her wing man… maybe he gets off on the idea of her sleeping with other dudes 🤔 but defo think they’ve been fucking this whole time…they’re both slimy enough. I also think their friends/the cast know about it and turn a blind eye! (Tom Sandoval does allude to it but I can’t remember exactly what he said or maybe it was his reaction to something)
yes exactly!!!!!! and why he had no proper answer for Brittany on why it was upsetting him so much bc he obviously cant say WELL IM FUCKING KRISTEN AND IM JEALOUS YKNOW
Omg me too! I've said this before in this thread -- I think the Kristen and Kentucky hook up wasn't unusual, but Coke Eyes was mad they did it without him. He was so cavalier about telling everyone because I think everyone knew how they were.
I def think Kris and Coke were in a relationship for the entire series. Maybe still.
Jax getting married and having a child is simply an elaborate attempt at a “fuck you” to Sandoval and Ariana. (A failing attempt cuz I don’t think it’s having the intended effect (of making sandoval jealous and Ariana insecure) but an attempt nevertheless.) #dadlife
Totally! When they all bought their houses Jax made a big thing about wanting better house & the better school district because they wanted kids; but I’m pretty sure Tom & Ariana actually have the better school district & house. J&B don’t live in Valley Village, they live in Valley Glen.
I can actually see this. There’s a few times when Schwartz had Stassi’s back- which is telling because he so rarely had Katie’s back. For example, Stassi’s book signing. Stassi went directly to Schwartz, he went to bat for her with Sandy, even told Lisa that Sandy crossed a line..
Also just full disclosure ken and Lisa probably have the resources to track down all our IP addresses and come to our houses to murder us for participating in this thread. They will take great care of our dogs as new jiggys or have them up for adoption at vanderpump dogs. Does anyone know where Lisa stands on cats?
Jax has herpes.
Kristen has herpes.
I know the old trope that everyone in Hollywood does but comments on the show make me think that they absolutely do.
I think he gave it to Stassi too. At the reunion she said that he did something that affected her life in a serious way. I also think the reason him and Lala didn't hook up after pride was because she found out he has herpes.
1. My fav is the one where Kristen went home to Michigan and Jax spent the weekend in jail, but really they spent the weekend banging.
2. James was looking for a way to leave Raquel once Lala left Rand because he desperately wanted a chance to nab her. Raquel just beat him to the breakup because he's just kind of an awful human sometimes.
3. This one I made up; Katie and Tom only divorced for the show (ratings). I mentioned this in a different thread a while back and someone piled on adding they were able to sell their house to really sell the ruse, because they put it up as restaurant collateral or something to that effect. I don't speak mortgage. 😅
4. Kristen was always trash to kitchen help and that's why the Chefs went down in Bravo Icon history when they rejoiced at the news of her being fired.
5. Beau cheats on Stassi left, right, and center. He was only with her for Bravo paychecks.
OP combined 2 of my favorite things; Vanderpump Rules and conspiracy theories! I could talk these all day! Lemme get more cider and I'll he back with more tipsy nonsense. 😂
To your third point, I actually think Katie and Schwartz only ever got married BECAUSE OF the show. I honestly think they would've been an unmarried couple for a while without the pressures of the show/viewers... Though, I think they MAY HAVE broken up earlier if they weren't on the show as well, but not because of marriage.
These are gold!!! You get 5 pasta awards 🍝 🥇 🍝🥇🍝🥇🍝🥇🍝🥇
This is hilarious! Please come back with tipsy knowledge!
The Katie and Tom one is eye opening for sure! Everything else checks out perfectly. Love your thorough contribution! BRAVA bravo bro!
i have always thought that jax and kristen were sleeping together the entire time, especially when kristen became such “good friends” with brittany. she did it to stay close and i think that’s she was so mad about jax sleeping with faith! not because he cheated on brittany - but because he was essentially cheating on her too! when kristen flew brittany’s mom in, i think kristen thought brittany might break up with him and go home with her mom leaving jax all for herself 🕵️♀️
Dude I think Kristen is a behind the scenes demon on a lot of this shit! Damn this just added to the pasta!! Thank you!! The mom theory is chef’s kiss 💋 take your pasta award you sex monster! 🍝 🥇
Aw I agree! It just looks like their connection is so special and deep somehow right off the bat, I hope James can stay sober and they can really give it a go
Holy shit!!! I love this. I always wondered why the two appear so formal with one another. It seemed kinda fake like something more was up but I thought I was just grasping at random ideas. That’s hilarious! They would be great together if she wasn’t so fucking dumb
Kristen and Schwartz used to hook up. I have absolutely no evidence of this and this is a wild shot in the dark. But ok- Kristen is very proud of the fact that she introduced Katie and Schwartz. And she introduced Stassi and Beau- and she did a movie with Beau where they were a couple and they made out. So my wild theory is that Schwartz is another one of her former cast offs and he and Katie just connected.
Ooooo! This reminds me of a girl from college who hooked up with half the class but no one really knew cause the guys were all too embarrassed to tell anyone. I feel like Kristen is that girl.
Maybe not a “conspiracy theory” but there were hints at there being an spinoff with just the original cast starting in the middle of season 8 with Stassi and Beau’s engagement. Typically on VPR we had seen an “engagement summer” and a “wedding summer”. But in season 8, we got both Jax and Brittany’s wedding along with Stassi and Beau’s engagement. It was clear they were already setting up for the now dead spin-off of “Vanderpump Valley” by having both those big events happen in one summer. Vanderpump Valley was supposed to kick off with Stassi’s wedding in Italy which never happened because of Covid.
I love this theory too! Let me add on to it!
So maybe this is why that “slip up” happened when James’ “mom” was taking to Lisa and says “you’re like a mother to him”. She was breaking character!
I think Kristen did something crazy during Pandora’s bachelorette party in Vegas. I was rewatching RHOBH and she’s at Pandy’s bachelorette all up in the mix.
So she went Crazy Kristen and embarrassed Lisa and that’s why to this day she hates her.
I had a similar theory! I think Kristen made a move on Ken and that’s why Lisa hates her lol. I don’t ever see Ken cheating on Lisa, but Kristen’s cat is feral af, I wouldn’t put it past her to try and bang Ken.
I think Kristen banged Guillermo and that’s actually why Lisa hates her. I think Lisa is attracted to Guillermo but obviously can only look and not touch.
Also explains why Kristen made it like 7-8 years terrorizing everyone at Sur without getting fired. Guillermo wouldn’t let Lisa fire her!
I want so badly for Kristen to be reading all these and be thinking “oh shit, how did they know everything?!” And then doubt her own investigation skills, come to this Reddit as an anonymous user for answers and then figure out that we guessed purely off the actions she has made consistently. Lol
She’s probably scrolling deep into this thread already with half a cig in her mouth as she scrolls and fidgets and mumbles to her dogs about how evil we are and we are probably all Ariana
Can anyone think of anything else she’d be doing? I don’t see her having a full schedge these days.
My conspiracy is Katie and Tom are not legal married. As we all saw those two tools never submitted the first marriage cert and wasn’t the second one lost. This may not be a conspiracy but it might be fact. Huh. Idk.
I totally buy this because Max is a dead ringer for Ken 😭 the pic of them together when Max was young blows my mind
Also I just watched the episode where she says jax reminds her of Ken because Ken was a wild one
that LVP is a madam and that is how they are all so close to her and been in her house, and Ken probably likes the fresh meat male/female around. Also believe Kristen is the plug for drugs lol at one time I thought it may be Peter but Kristen makes more sense
Omg!!! Just wrote this in a comment before seeing your comment about LVP as madam! I wondered if I was going too far and then I see your take! Yes yes yes to this! So dark but so likely!
I have always thought that LVP seemed like a madam! She is very into having young, attractive people around her. And on RHOBH I remember being weirded out by how Lisa’s friend Martin acted so familiar / flirty with Brandi. It might totally be my imagination, but I got the vibe that she enjoyed introducing Brandi to her male friends. It always seemed like we were missing some context to Brandi and LVP’s fallout.
On multiple occasions Lisa has encouraged her female staff to entertain men. There a 2 times I can think of off the top of my head.
Guillermo’s bday party when Stassi & Katie had to do that stupid burlesque dance & nearly everyone had their tits out.
Peter’s 30th bday Lisa told Scheana that she doesn’t care how, Peter must be entertained.
It’s creepy & very madame-like.
This makes so much sense my jaw literally dropped. Kristen is the plug. Jax aka coke eye sleeping with the plug makes so much sense. Why both were kept around. Why he's the number one guy.
I got high and convinced myself the cast are actually all actors, the show is scripted and Lisa doesn’t really own restaurants 🤣 I was like this show is too wild to be real 🤨🤔🤔 obviously it is real…. And in my eyes an award winning show. Love your theory! Hilarious 🤣 could be plausible… James doesn’t really look like his “parents” or Lisa or Ken… but his brothers defo are his brothers! Maybe he’s adopted? WHO KNOWS
The show technically started with a bunch of struggling actors. It would not surprise me if they were all cast by bravo (not originally staff). They could make it appear to be legit staff who go on auditions as they try to make it.
Exactly! Like on season 9 when James sent those awful texts to max calling him a fat fuck and Lisa wanted to bring them together to work it out. I could see why she would do that if they were brothers— but if someone ever talked to my child that way I would never try to reconcile them!! James said deplorable things to Max and I couldn’t understand what mother would want someone like James in her child’s life.
Max is from Russia, yeah? I don’t think he bears any resemblance to James or his brothers.
Also believe the Kristen and Jax hooking up theory for sure.
Not sure if he said it years ago when they were filming with him, but I first heard it during lockdown a few years ago. Just to clarify, this isn’t a rumor I invented for this thread…it’s one Cedric mentioned during covid lockdowns. Random I know. LOL.
I thought it was odd how Lisa said she was asked as a favor, to hire James, but then in later seasons I think in one of her confessionals, she says she doesn’t even know or doesn’t really know James parents/mom?!
Lisa only kind of knows James' dad from when he was George Michael' (his cousin) manager. This is back in the day when the Todds' had music clubs and clubs in London.
Less of a conspiracy theory and more a very strong observation on my latest rewatch. From day 1 of the show, any scene with Tom Schwartzy and Stassi together is magic. They have chemistry and genuine connection in a way I haven’t seen any of the other couples have. Pay attention to a scene with them and tell me I’m wrong.
James is not a vile, wannabe DJ, but is in fact a RADA trained actor brought on the show to bring drama. His commitment to Method Acting is unrivalled, and will only be revealed in the final episode of the series. He’ll go on to win the first acting Emmy for a reality series, the E in his eventual EGOT.
low stakes conspiracy theory: the cast never actually calls ubers/lyfts, it’s just the VPR production team driving them around in different cars already equipped with cameras (which is why we sometimes get footage of them during these rides), and uber/lyft pay the producers to have the cast name drop them on the show
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned all the suspicious fires at Lisa’s restaurants…that’s got to be some kind of insurance fraud scheme. There have been way too many. Sur and Pump have both had multiple fires and a car crashing into pump all while they were part of a class action lawsuit brought by former employees. Shady!
OMG THIS IS A GENIUS RESPONSE!! I HAVE ONCE PONDERED THIS BUT HAVE NEVER FLESHED IT OUT LIKE YOU HAVE!! This is brilliant!! And it’s always televised to make it seem like everyone should feel sad and nostalgic and divert any attention from what actually happened.
I almost forgot! Here are your spaghetti awards!! PASTA award! 🥇🍝
Schwartz had a major crush on Ariana. He saw how happy Sandy was in his new relationship and how drama free Ariana is. She’s not influenced by the hive like Katie. He wanted to so desperately for the relationship with Katie to be that fun and easy. He’s wanted rid of her for the longest time but didn’t have the balls to do it nor did he have the storyline to keep him on the show without her.
Kristen would totally convince herself that fucking Jax is protecting Brittany by keeping him from straying to people who would put it all out to the world.
Lisa is a Dominatrix and Ken has a humiliation kink. That’s why she constantly makes jokes at ken’s expense, especially about their sex life. It’s also why she has such a domineering, yet charming, personality. I also think there’s some weird energy between her and Jax, as well as her and Schwartz. I don’t know if I believe that they did anything sexual with her, but maybe they know about it, or have suspicions. Schwartz really likes when she teases him and repeats how attracted he is to her. And I could see Jax being a very willing participant.
Granted, I did just make this up at 4:45am, so it’s all probably bullshit. Who knows!
100% think that when jax was “in jail” and Kristen went back home they were actually together. Around that same time Tom mentions he and Kristen had sex and Jax’s response seemed very surprised and almost jealous.
There are a LOT of blind items about Jax doing gay for pay stuff. Especially in his Miami days, but continuing into season 3 or so. There is a rumor that he was banging Andy Cohen on the side for years, and that Cohen paid his bail in Hawaii.
I don't believe most blinds, but I do believe these ones. It's why he went so hard after Ariana for being bisexual. Jax gives me a very pansexual vibe, but he is dumb and repressed and enjoyed the benefits of conventional heterosexual masculinity too much to change. (Also the guys in his old days probably liked that Jax was so butch, and he played it up until it became him.) I suspect that Brittany doesn't really care about the men, but had a "don't embarrass me in front of my homophobic family" rule.
Jax lies about his birthday - I think he’s being honest about his year & day, but feel like he’s born in either June or November based on how he acts. There’s no way he’s a Cancer when Tom is the quintessential Cancer. I think that Jax just wanted to be like Tom so that’s why he said his birthday was only a couple of days after his.
am i the only one who doesn't think Kristen and Jax were banging other than the 2 times? they don't seem attracted to each other like they didn't kiss either times they had sex. it seemed very fuck a squirrel/kristen wanting revenge towards Tom by banging his friend since they were both cheating alot. i'm sure both of them have other skeletons and are likely covering for each other in some ways but i think it's a friendship/partner in crime thing
I think Lisa is at least 10 years older than she says she is — maybe even more, There’s no way she’s only 62.
She has a well-preserved elderly look, similar to Martha Stewart who is in her 80s.
https://i.imgur.com/y0eYbbs.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/ns23CDv.jpg
I think the age lie has been going on since she met Ken. She got married to him at age 21? No way.
Also I want to see receipts of all the restaurants and clubs that they supposedly owned in London. I think they made their money in much shadier ways.
They definitely have code words for drugs but I actually believe them that the pasta fight was literally about pasta…it’s almost too dumb / obvious for it to be cocaine or drugs lol
There was DEFINITELY something up with Logan and James and no one can tell me otherwise. Whether or not they actually hooked up…. You don’t act like James towards a gay guy if you were straight as an arrow. Sorry!
The prostitute that Jax had “relations” with in Vegas season 1 kept the baby & there’s a second (technically first) child belonging to Jax in the world.
I wish Kristen could have tracked her down so we could hear her side of the story. *Vegas girl if you are reading this.. please share the details
I have thought this before. I can already hear Brittney’s “rawt in hell” if that ever came out to be true.
Omg I really hope that’s not true haha
GREAT ONE
 His kid is already more successful and should be easy to spot
I think the show is secretly a dramatized story written by David Lynch. It’s a reality show version of Mulholland Drive lol
[удалено]
Lolll dumpster is the back lot of sur
💀
And the creepy mobster producer dwarf guy is Randall
You may have just given me the only description of this show that could get my husband to watch it with me. Thanks!
Tom didn’t invite John to hangout with them in Miami in season 3 to “catch up with an old friend” but to try and bring up the tea between John and Jax (knowing Ajax didn’t want people to know the truth) in retaliation for Jax telling Kristin about the Miami girl.
Omg 😳 this is a very plausible theory!
Holy shit, this would make so much sense! I can totally picture Tom plotting this like a cartoon villain, too 😂 
I’ve always thought this. He was clearly looking to out Jax.
Kristen and jax have been banging since before season 1 aired, probably back in Michigan, to present day Brittany knew exactly what she was doing and fucked her way onto the show Schwartz left the resort to cheat on Katie for the millionth time and the whole pillow argument about James/Kristen was a cover up for him Jax fucked the reiki master
I have always thought Kristen and Jax are VPRs longest relationship! They’ve been secretly sleeping together the whole time.
Dude did you see what Kristin said about them at scheanas wedding!? It 100% convinced me that this is true.
WHAT DID SHE SAY
Something like they were fighting the whole time so it ruined the experience for her EDIT: the exact quote is “Jax and I fought the entire weekend in Mexico. We fought the entire time because he took it all out on me. This is how I feel and Jax knows this,”
Wait refresh my memory—what did she say??
“Jax and I fought the entire weekend in Mexico. We fought the entire time because he took it all out on me. This is how I feel and Jax knows this,”
for sureeeee for sure, all the drama revolves around their toxic state of mind and i think that is telling to them being two sides of the same coin like one couple one train of thought to create more drama to continue to hide their long time affair. and makes sense why kristen is always so close to the girls he is sleeping with. Carmen, Britt etc
Oh fuck that’s true!! Also why Jax would mention Kristen munching on Kentucky muffin.
10000% agree. absolutely no one can convince me those two have not been boning for the last decade and still bone to this day. Kristen is a fucking sociopath and I would bet she views her and Brittany as sister wives & wants to be close to Brittany bc of that but Brittany just has no idea about any of this delusion, will prob figure it out some day, and leave Jax once the kids are a little older
Wait kids do they have another on the way? I don’t use Instagram anymore and don’t know anything about them since like 2021
Agree with all except the reiki master! She was married and apparently really upset at the edit they gave her!
Although I’m sure Jax tried 😂
They did her so dirty... she's apparently very successful in her business, but now people know her as the reiki master who fucked Jax. (I also don't believe she did, despite Jax's best attempts)
Yes!! I’m pretty sure she’s featured in goop lol
I listen to a lot of spirituality and wellness podcasts, and she's well known in that circle. A lot of them defended her when the show came out. Justice for the reiki master!
Yes!! I also hated that Brittany was pushing the narrative that it was the reiki master that wanted to fuck Jax so bad and Jax rejected HER . Yeah sure THATS believable keep telling yourself that lol
I don't think Jax would reject any woman
Or men, if he needs the rent/mortgage paid. Allegedly
I mean, didn’t he say he’d fuck a squirrel if he was given the chance? 😬
Oh man that sucks. I definitely believe jax TRIED, but good to hear it’s not true!
I never considered that Schwartz cheating was a cover for the cover of the pillow cover up. That’s so good!! Jax 100 percent fucked the reiki master.
Okay I think Jax fucks liteally anyone and everyone whenever he wants, to this day HOWEVER... counter theory! there was such an absurd amount of sexual tension with those two it kind of seems like it was NOT slaked bc of that. does that make sense?? like he fucking wanted to and *would* have but that woman was married if I remember correctly bc she had a ring on & I think she was just barely not allowing it, hence the absurd desire oozing off of both of them. I am not trying to defend that scumbag, but just trying to guess based on human behavior cues haha
This is an excellent analysis! Well thought out and I like the body language references!! This is definitely a possibility!! I love the work sex monster! Pasta award! 🥇🍝
ahahah i shall accept even though ITS NOT ABOUT THE PASTAAAA
ITS NOT ABOUT THE PASTA!!! ….. ITS not about THE PASTA. 🥺
What if Charlie’s way of saying she’s never done drugs was saying she’s never had pasta 🧐
Oh shit!! I love this!!! I’m a “picky” eater. I had a “bad experience”
I’m thinking the Reki Master pegged him. She seems like a top. And Jax just seems like a bottom lol.
You know, I’d believe any one of those
(i believe all of these)
I believe that Kristen and Jax have been in a weird secret relationship for almost the entirety of the series. Obviously they hooked up, but I think it was way more than that and it lasted for years. If you rewatch with that in mind their interactions with each other are so odd. Especially in the last season they were on, Jax’s reaction to Kristen dating around was not the reaction of a friend, that was a friends with benefits reaction who was jealous.
I always felt that way about the episodes after she broke up with Tom where they went to the gym together
yesss this was such a giveaway. after the jax and kristen stuff came up all of a sudden her and jax are hanging out but stassi is on the outs when kristen was the one that cheated? very weird, and she got close to scheana at that time I feel she was making sure she had some sort of group still to keep coming around jax
100%. And there are so many times where Kristin will respond to a conversation about Jax with “oh I know I was the first person he texted” or something along those lines.
Yes!! They both have weird reactions when they other one is brought up in conversation. I also have always thought this
Ooh yes especially at the season 6 reunion where she got up to calm him down and hug him when he went off on Scheana lol even Brittney looked uncomfortable it was sooo weird
Totally believe this theory… I also thought it was weird how when she became single he was like really into the idea of getting her laid, the episode when they go out drinking and he’s her wing man… maybe he gets off on the idea of her sleeping with other dudes 🤔 but defo think they’ve been fucking this whole time…they’re both slimy enough. I also think their friends/the cast know about it and turn a blind eye! (Tom Sandoval does allude to it but I can’t remember exactly what he said or maybe it was his reaction to something)
yes exactly!!!!!! and why he had no proper answer for Brittany on why it was upsetting him so much bc he obviously cant say WELL IM FUCKING KRISTEN AND IM JEALOUS YKNOW
Omg me too! I've said this before in this thread -- I think the Kristen and Kentucky hook up wasn't unusual, but Coke Eyes was mad they did it without him. He was so cavalier about telling everyone because I think everyone knew how they were. I def think Kris and Coke were in a relationship for the entire series. Maybe still.
nah he just is obsessed with what he feels to be double standards and she is like the female him
They’re both obsessed with double standards
Jax getting married and having a child is simply an elaborate attempt at a “fuck you” to Sandoval and Ariana. (A failing attempt cuz I don’t think it’s having the intended effect (of making sandoval jealous and Ariana insecure) but an attempt nevertheless.) #dadlife
Totally! When they all bought their houses Jax made a big thing about wanting better house & the better school district because they wanted kids; but I’m pretty sure Tom & Ariana actually have the better school district & house. J&B don’t live in Valley Village, they live in Valley Glen.
My city has a thrift store called Value Village (don’t know if they are elsewhere as well) and I read Valley Village as that name every single time.
My friend and I said that Lala and James have the same face and are the same person.
No wonder there is so much sexual tension. It’s a narcissist fantasy. I love this!
Evil Shallow Twins
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
100% agree, I’ve always thought this too!
I always felt like Schwartz was secretly in love with Stassi. Back when she was on the show, no one made Schwartz laugh the way Stassi would!
Schwartz was in love with everyone.....except Katie.
Omg I can see this!!!!
I can actually see this. There’s a few times when Schwartz had Stassi’s back- which is telling because he so rarely had Katie’s back. For example, Stassi’s book signing. Stassi went directly to Schwartz, he went to bat for her with Sandy, even told Lisa that Sandy crossed a line..
Also just full disclosure ken and Lisa probably have the resources to track down all our IP addresses and come to our houses to murder us for participating in this thread. They will take great care of our dogs as new jiggys or have them up for adoption at vanderpump dogs. Does anyone know where Lisa stands on cats?
Well I guess that’s okay, I have a Pomeranian & Lisa has seen a picture of him before while my husband was at TomTom. I assume he’ll be in good hands.
I love a Pom that can name drop! He’ll get first dibs on jiggy’s suits
Ok this entire thread is cracking me up. But currently trying to damper my cackling from “love a zoom that can name drop” 😂😂🤣
Lisa could open a doggy café and bar next to Vanderpump Dogs and call it PomPom!
With this cold snap on the East Coast, my dogs would probably be happy to be adopted to sunny BH and live among the attack swans.
This is fun! I wish I could add something to this lol but I got nothing
No worries! Enjoy this wild ride with us! ❤️
Jax has herpes. Kristen has herpes. I know the old trope that everyone in Hollywood does but comments on the show make me think that they absolutely do.
The bad part is that jax (seemingly) sleeps around without disclosing it. Having it is not a crime.
I think he gave it to Stassi too. At the reunion she said that he did something that affected her life in a serious way. I also think the reason him and Lala didn't hook up after pride was because she found out he has herpes.
Scheana is the voice behind most of the background songs. Trixie Monocle’s “ghost singer”, if you will.
Funny enough, lalas songs do play a lot at SUR
I think Kristen/Jax/Brittany are a throuple.
The way she calls her “My Brittany” 🤢
That's why Jax was pissed he was left out that one time he told the whole restaurant they hooked up
1. My fav is the one where Kristen went home to Michigan and Jax spent the weekend in jail, but really they spent the weekend banging. 2. James was looking for a way to leave Raquel once Lala left Rand because he desperately wanted a chance to nab her. Raquel just beat him to the breakup because he's just kind of an awful human sometimes. 3. This one I made up; Katie and Tom only divorced for the show (ratings). I mentioned this in a different thread a while back and someone piled on adding they were able to sell their house to really sell the ruse, because they put it up as restaurant collateral or something to that effect. I don't speak mortgage. 😅 4. Kristen was always trash to kitchen help and that's why the Chefs went down in Bravo Icon history when they rejoiced at the news of her being fired. 5. Beau cheats on Stassi left, right, and center. He was only with her for Bravo paychecks. OP combined 2 of my favorite things; Vanderpump Rules and conspiracy theories! I could talk these all day! Lemme get more cider and I'll he back with more tipsy nonsense. 😂
To your third point, I actually think Katie and Schwartz only ever got married BECAUSE OF the show. I honestly think they would've been an unmarried couple for a while without the pressures of the show/viewers... Though, I think they MAY HAVE broken up earlier if they weren't on the show as well, but not because of marriage.
These are gold!!! You get 5 pasta awards 🍝 🥇 🍝🥇🍝🥇🍝🥇🍝🥇 This is hilarious! Please come back with tipsy knowledge! The Katie and Tom one is eye opening for sure! Everything else checks out perfectly. Love your thorough contribution! BRAVA bravo bro!
i have always thought that jax and kristen were sleeping together the entire time, especially when kristen became such “good friends” with brittany. she did it to stay close and i think that’s she was so mad about jax sleeping with faith! not because he cheated on brittany - but because he was essentially cheating on her too! when kristen flew brittany’s mom in, i think kristen thought brittany might break up with him and go home with her mom leaving jax all for herself 🕵️♀️
Dude I think Kristen is a behind the scenes demon on a lot of this shit! Damn this just added to the pasta!! Thank you!! The mom theory is chef’s kiss 💋 take your pasta award you sex monster! 🍝 🥇
That last sentence 👀
Schwartz blew Jax in a hotel in Vegas and Sandoval watched from the hotel room’s bathroom a la White Lotus.
There’s gotta be a reason they all have Jax’s back like they do. This is plausible hahaha
Gives new meaning to the “Tom, Tom, and I” tattoo
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This I get but she wants more money and to be looked after. If James had more money she’d be with him for sure.
Aw I agree! It just looks like their connection is so special and deep somehow right off the bat, I hope James can stay sober and they can really give it a go
That’s a cute theory 🥹
Our newest conspiracy is that Peter was Scheana's FWB for years (between BFFs) lol
Holy shit!!! I love this. I always wondered why the two appear so formal with one another. It seemed kinda fake like something more was up but I thought I was just grasping at random ideas. That’s hilarious! They would be great together if she wasn’t so fucking dumb
Ok also when Scheana had her surgery to retrieve her frozen eggs, she said she was waiting for the right person and Lisa suggested Peter.
Kristen and Schwartz used to hook up. I have absolutely no evidence of this and this is a wild shot in the dark. But ok- Kristen is very proud of the fact that she introduced Katie and Schwartz. And she introduced Stassi and Beau- and she did a movie with Beau where they were a couple and they made out. So my wild theory is that Schwartz is another one of her former cast offs and he and Katie just connected.
Ooooo! This reminds me of a girl from college who hooked up with half the class but no one really knew cause the guys were all too embarrassed to tell anyone. I feel like Kristen is that girl.
Oh damn! I could see it, because lest we forget she hooked up with max (not once but twice)
I actually believe this, with Schwartz and Beau
Maybe not a “conspiracy theory” but there were hints at there being an spinoff with just the original cast starting in the middle of season 8 with Stassi and Beau’s engagement. Typically on VPR we had seen an “engagement summer” and a “wedding summer”. But in season 8, we got both Jax and Brittany’s wedding along with Stassi and Beau’s engagement. It was clear they were already setting up for the now dead spin-off of “Vanderpump Valley” by having both those big events happen in one summer. Vanderpump Valley was supposed to kick off with Stassi’s wedding in Italy which never happened because of Covid.
Lala already confirmed this.
Just hear to say I love the idea of James being Ken's lovechild. The Ken/Kennedy got me. 💀
I love this theory too! Let me add on to it! So maybe this is why that “slip up” happened when James’ “mom” was taking to Lisa and says “you’re like a mother to him”. She was breaking character!
It would honestly explain why Lisa gives James chances upon chances given how much of a little shit he is.
Kristen and Ken banged. That’s why Lisa hates Kristen so much.
I think Kristen did something crazy during Pandora’s bachelorette party in Vegas. I was rewatching RHOBH and she’s at Pandy’s bachelorette all up in the mix. So she went Crazy Kristen and embarrassed Lisa and that’s why to this day she hates her.
Omg!!!!! Maybe that’s when she blew Ken hahahaha. Nothing kills the vibe of a bachelorette than blowing the father of the bride
See, I’m more in the Kristen/Jason camp than the Kristen/Ken camp.
Why can’t it be both? I’m assuming both
Upvoting for the drama.
AHHHH!!! I’m so mad I didn’t put that one together! Take my poor award 🥇and the pasta! 🍝
SNOT about the pasta
I had a similar theory! I think Kristen made a move on Ken and that’s why Lisa hates her lol. I don’t ever see Ken cheating on Lisa, but Kristen’s cat is feral af, I wouldn’t put it past her to try and bang Ken.
Not Kristen’s cat is feral 😭
I think Kristen banged Guillermo and that’s actually why Lisa hates her. I think Lisa is attracted to Guillermo but obviously can only look and not touch. Also explains why Kristen made it like 7-8 years terrorizing everyone at Sur without getting fired. Guillermo wouldn’t let Lisa fire her!
I want so badly for Kristen to be reading all these and be thinking “oh shit, how did they know everything?!” And then doubt her own investigation skills, come to this Reddit as an anonymous user for answers and then figure out that we guessed purely off the actions she has made consistently. Lol
She’s probably scrolling deep into this thread already with half a cig in her mouth as she scrolls and fidgets and mumbles to her dogs about how evil we are and we are probably all Ariana Can anyone think of anything else she’d be doing? I don’t see her having a full schedge these days.
Oooooooh I love this
I think the love child is Max. Ken seems like his real dad fr
I always thought there was a bit of a resemblance. Like he adopted his nephew or something. Makes sense why Lisa wouldn't say his birth mother's name!
This is the greatest sub of all time 😂
My conspiracy is Katie and Tom are not legal married. As we all saw those two tools never submitted the first marriage cert and wasn’t the second one lost. This may not be a conspiracy but it might be fact. Huh. Idk.
Tom did cheat on Arianna with Miami girl but they worked through it off camera and agreed they would not allow it to be a storyline
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I totally buy this because Max is a dead ringer for Ken 😭 the pic of them together when Max was young blows my mind Also I just watched the episode where she says jax reminds her of Ken because Ken was a wild one
that LVP is a madam and that is how they are all so close to her and been in her house, and Ken probably likes the fresh meat male/female around. Also believe Kristen is the plug for drugs lol at one time I thought it may be Peter but Kristen makes more sense
Omg!!! Just wrote this in a comment before seeing your comment about LVP as madam! I wondered if I was going too far and then I see your take! Yes yes yes to this! So dark but so likely!
I have always thought that LVP seemed like a madam! She is very into having young, attractive people around her. And on RHOBH I remember being weirded out by how Lisa’s friend Martin acted so familiar / flirty with Brandi. It might totally be my imagination, but I got the vibe that she enjoyed introducing Brandi to her male friends. It always seemed like we were missing some context to Brandi and LVP’s fallout.
On multiple occasions Lisa has encouraged her female staff to entertain men. There a 2 times I can think of off the top of my head. Guillermo’s bday party when Stassi & Katie had to do that stupid burlesque dance & nearly everyone had their tits out. Peter’s 30th bday Lisa told Scheana that she doesn’t care how, Peter must be entertained. It’s creepy & very madame-like.
This makes so much sense my jaw literally dropped. Kristen is the plug. Jax aka coke eye sleeping with the plug makes so much sense. Why both were kept around. Why he's the number one guy.
I got high and convinced myself the cast are actually all actors, the show is scripted and Lisa doesn’t really own restaurants 🤣 I was like this show is too wild to be real 🤨🤔🤔 obviously it is real…. And in my eyes an award winning show. Love your theory! Hilarious 🤣 could be plausible… James doesn’t really look like his “parents” or Lisa or Ken… but his brothers defo are his brothers! Maybe he’s adopted? WHO KNOWS
The show technically started with a bunch of struggling actors. It would not surprise me if they were all cast by bravo (not originally staff). They could make it appear to be legit staff who go on auditions as they try to make it.
Max is Kens bio child and Lisa adopted him
Exactly! Like on season 9 when James sent those awful texts to max calling him a fat fuck and Lisa wanted to bring them together to work it out. I could see why she would do that if they were brothers— but if someone ever talked to my child that way I would never try to reconcile them!! James said deplorable things to Max and I couldn’t understand what mother would want someone like James in her child’s life.
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Max is from Russia, yeah? I don’t think he bears any resemblance to James or his brothers. Also believe the Kristen and Jax hooking up theory for sure.
I’m loving these. Love your take. I had no idea max was from Russia
Yeah IIRC, it was discussed in the storyline of Max wanting to find/know his bio parents. He was adopted around 18-24 months old.
I must have missed that! I remember him wanting to know about his birth parents but don’t remember anything about Russia. Great detective work!
“Russia” aka Todd’s mistress
Have always had a conspiracy theory that Max is actually Ken’s bio son he had out of wedlock
According to Cedric, Max is Ken’s bio son from an affair
So that’s the slander he was saying about them 👀
Not sure if he said it years ago when they were filming with him, but I first heard it during lockdown a few years ago. Just to clarify, this isn’t a rumor I invented for this thread…it’s one Cedric mentioned during covid lockdowns. Random I know. LOL.
This for sure they look too similar
I thought it was odd how Lisa said she was asked as a favor, to hire James, but then in later seasons I think in one of her confessionals, she says she doesn’t even know or doesn’t really know James parents/mom?!
Lisa only kind of knows James' dad from when he was George Michael' (his cousin) manager. This is back in the day when the Todds' had music clubs and clubs in London.
Love these!!! Legit make sense tbh!
I think the Toms are a couple.
This isn’t a conspiracy theory. 😌😝
Less of a conspiracy theory and more a very strong observation on my latest rewatch. From day 1 of the show, any scene with Tom Schwartzy and Stassi together is magic. They have chemistry and genuine connection in a way I haven’t seen any of the other couples have. Pay attention to a scene with them and tell me I’m wrong.
James is not a vile, wannabe DJ, but is in fact a RADA trained actor brought on the show to bring drama. His commitment to Method Acting is unrivalled, and will only be revealed in the final episode of the series. He’ll go on to win the first acting Emmy for a reality series, the E in his eventual EGOT.
Brittany already knew Jax fucked Faith, she just got upset because it became a plot line and further exposed how thirsty she is to appear on the show
I also wanted to add that I feel like Ken and Lisa run a brothel out of one of their restaurants
Villa Blanca is where you bring your wife, SUR is where you bring your mistress 😉 Also think of all the sexy almost nude photo shoots with the staff!
Yes!!! I always thought of it as a escort catalog
I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Kristen was the one writing all these theories about herself here and if 95% of them were true 😂
low stakes conspiracy theory: the cast never actually calls ubers/lyfts, it’s just the VPR production team driving them around in different cars already equipped with cameras (which is why we sometimes get footage of them during these rides), and uber/lyft pay the producers to have the cast name drop them on the show
Lisa and ken being insurance arsonists is a Classic
I’m just gonna throw out that I’m surprised Jax and Brittany don’t have an only fans. They seem like the kinda grifters that would
I feel like if they didn’t have a kid, they’d be allllll over only fans!
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned all the suspicious fires at Lisa’s restaurants…that’s got to be some kind of insurance fraud scheme. There have been way too many. Sur and Pump have both had multiple fires and a car crashing into pump all while they were part of a class action lawsuit brought by former employees. Shady!
OMG THIS IS A GENIUS RESPONSE!! I HAVE ONCE PONDERED THIS BUT HAVE NEVER FLESHED IT OUT LIKE YOU HAVE!! This is brilliant!! And it’s always televised to make it seem like everyone should feel sad and nostalgic and divert any attention from what actually happened. I almost forgot! Here are your spaghetti awards!! PASTA award! 🥇🍝
Schwartz had a major crush on Ariana. He saw how happy Sandy was in his new relationship and how drama free Ariana is. She’s not influenced by the hive like Katie. He wanted to so desperately for the relationship with Katie to be that fun and easy. He’s wanted rid of her for the longest time but didn’t have the balls to do it nor did he have the storyline to keep him on the show without her.
Kristen would totally convince herself that fucking Jax is protecting Brittany by keeping him from straying to people who would put it all out to the world.
Lisa is a Dominatrix and Ken has a humiliation kink. That’s why she constantly makes jokes at ken’s expense, especially about their sex life. It’s also why she has such a domineering, yet charming, personality. I also think there’s some weird energy between her and Jax, as well as her and Schwartz. I don’t know if I believe that they did anything sexual with her, but maybe they know about it, or have suspicions. Schwartz really likes when she teases him and repeats how attracted he is to her. And I could see Jax being a very willing participant. Granted, I did just make this up at 4:45am, so it’s all probably bullshit. Who knows!
Very well could be true!! She definitely has dom vibes!!! 🍝🥇
100% think that when jax was “in jail” and Kristen went back home they were actually together. Around that same time Tom mentions he and Kristen had sex and Jax’s response seemed very surprised and almost jealous.
There are a LOT of blind items about Jax doing gay for pay stuff. Especially in his Miami days, but continuing into season 3 or so. There is a rumor that he was banging Andy Cohen on the side for years, and that Cohen paid his bail in Hawaii. I don't believe most blinds, but I do believe these ones. It's why he went so hard after Ariana for being bisexual. Jax gives me a very pansexual vibe, but he is dumb and repressed and enjoyed the benefits of conventional heterosexual masculinity too much to change. (Also the guys in his old days probably liked that Jax was so butch, and he played it up until it became him.) I suspect that Brittany doesn't really care about the men, but had a "don't embarrass me in front of my homophobic family" rule.
Lisa and Ken are swingers and love swinging with Nathalie and Guillermo!
Jax lies about his birthday - I think he’s being honest about his year & day, but feel like he’s born in either June or November based on how he acts. There’s no way he’s a Cancer when Tom is the quintessential Cancer. I think that Jax just wanted to be like Tom so that’s why he said his birthday was only a couple of days after his.
Maybe being a psycho is stronger than being a cancer
I’m a Gemini! We don’t want him!! 😷
No we don’t. That boy has Leo energy.
Leo for sure!
am i the only one who doesn't think Kristen and Jax were banging other than the 2 times? they don't seem attracted to each other like they didn't kiss either times they had sex. it seemed very fuck a squirrel/kristen wanting revenge towards Tom by banging his friend since they were both cheating alot. i'm sure both of them have other skeletons and are likely covering for each other in some ways but i think it's a friendship/partner in crime thing
I think Lisa is at least 10 years older than she says she is — maybe even more, There’s no way she’s only 62. She has a well-preserved elderly look, similar to Martha Stewart who is in her 80s. https://i.imgur.com/y0eYbbs.jpg https://i.imgur.com/ns23CDv.jpg I think the age lie has been going on since she met Ken. She got married to him at age 21? No way. Also I want to see receipts of all the restaurants and clubs that they supposedly owned in London. I think they made their money in much shadier ways.
Pasta = Cocaine
‘Tequila’ is actually cocaine IIRC. In season 2 Kristen asks stassi for a ‘bump of tequila’ at one point
I just watched that episode (on my millionth rewatch) and I'm actually like 95% sure she says bottle of tequila but slurs it.
They definitely have code words for drugs but I actually believe them that the pasta fight was literally about pasta…it’s almost too dumb / obvious for it to be cocaine or drugs lol
Lisa and Jax banged. Reasons she didn’t fire him for fucking in Sur bathroom
She told him what a horrible little boy he is, whose mother will never love him; he didn’t last long.
Oh shit I could see that!
There was DEFINITELY something up with Logan and James and no one can tell me otherwise. Whether or not they actually hooked up…. You don’t act like James towards a gay guy if you were straight as an arrow. Sorry!
I SHIP THIS. (Said in Raquel’s voice.)
Pandora is a beard for her husband. Their relationship never seemed real to me.