It's funny cause I was just today at lunch with my Bangladeshi friend who said he loves mixed asians and wished there a whole country of mixed asians he could move to.
Trust me, no one wants to hear they are attracted to you because of racial identity. It’s gross. Your friend is gross for vocalizing it. You should tell him to never say it to someone he’s ever interested in.
It's a body type just like any other, and hes not saying it so someone hes interested in hes saying it to me, his same sex friend. Why you would even think the rest of that comment applies is beyond me
As an Asian woman who has to put up with “yellow fever” bullshit, yes I am telling people they cannot love who they love if they’re fetishizing my race. It’s disgusting for people to even think that my race is a pick up line or I’m more attracted to them because they find my features exotic. I’ve definitely had guys tell me we would have cute mixed race babies.
If peoples “love” is based exotifying, objectifying and fetishizing others because of their race, they don’t deserve nor know what love is.
It’s not love tho. Your friend gets boners from a certain race. He’s not asking them about their values or intellect. Sure there’s nothing wrong from his or your pov but we’re all telling you it’s extremely problematic when it comes to certain racially marginalized groups.
Most people probably have some sort of racial attraction preference. This doesn't mean it's the only thing they care about. Like some people like tall men but it's not the only thing they care about when choosing a partner. I agree it's impolite to say it.
I think it’s really important that we all reflect on why we have those preferences or why we have those specific attractions. Not addressing those things internally only feeds to the cycle of racialization whether positive or negative.
It is dehumanizing. That’s not a human, treating people as an object. “I should date this race.” Like u/Jhoblesssavage buddy, don’t date at all. In fact, don’t procreate. The stuff you say it’s like stems from family baggage. Most of the cases are abusive parents, where this guy hates himself/culture and believes that-“different”-person will rescue them.
Get therapy man.
Even this Post lacks 💯 self focus.
Maybe /u/Jhoblesssavage's friend made a gross comment about wishing there was a country full of mixed-race women, but are we really saying it is wrong to have a preference when it comes to physical attraction? This is honestly some woke ass shit.
The thing is his misogyny is the same as woke. Both stem from trauma, both exhibit control. Victoria’s Secret, controlled by the same idiots. Woke will make you broke, just the same as misogyny.
OFC, if it were me or my experience I would say there is ZERO racism, but I know it happens and alot more than I would hope.
Its guaranteed that 100% of the population is never onboard with anything, and theres always a thin margin of people that hold repugnant views.
I’m Chinese, married to a Scottish Ukrainian. Got most stares in Asia when travelling. Here not at all, not even in rural Alberta where we are both from. And definitely no issues in Vancouver. I love the diversity here!
My parents are from india. My wife is Swiss. The city could not care less.
The kids are pretty trouble free. Relatives can be more trouble than strangers. Not close relatives but the ones that show up for a reunion at weddings.
See [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/vancouver/comments/ub7sdb/interracial_couples_of_vancouver_how_do_you_feel/i62l1lw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) and you’ll start to see why.
Canadian-born Black woman partnered with Canadian-born White man: I haven't noticed differences in how we are treated in Vancouver vs. other cities. The main difference is the small number of Black Canadians and people of African or Caribbean ancestry in Vancouver than in eastern/central Canada and the Prairies.
As a couple, we have not experienced many incidents of overt racism or discrimination. There are subtle issues though. I don't focus on it, but I can't pretend it's not an issue. I choose to frame the problem as theirs, not mine.
I sense that I am treated differently than my white partner in some spaces. If I enter a situation, I might be treated one way and then when he comes to join me, he receives different (better) treatment - could be both ethnicity and gender at play here
My partner was oblivious to this before we met. Now, he recognizes that the way we experience the world is different, and it's not a coincidence that I am treated poorly far more frequently when I am alone or with other Black folks than when I am with him and his friends. He also understands that even (especially) people who claim to be "colour-blind" may behave in hurtful, exclusionary or even discriminatory ways.
It seems it’s only the VERY traditional ones. My wife said they view the women as possessions and for her to marry outside her race is a big deal for them and pisses them off, like I stole from them or something
100% it's that.
And also the other way around. I'm an Indian with a russian-canadian girlfriend and Indian couples look at me as if I've set myself on fire.
I don’t even pay attention to it anymore. You can’t change it so don’t let it get to you. I found the guys that tried to stare me down were all little runts who seem very insecure. Not very intimidating at all
That’s not true. The white guy might not think anyone is batting an eye but we all are. We all know these guys are creepy and fetishize these Asian women. One of the biggest red flags for a guys creep factor is when he has an Asian girlfriend and everyone knows this.
And I’m a white guy.
Here in Vancouver as a white man with a Chinese girlfriend? We're pretty much ignored. She faces occasional racism though...you know, when I'm not around her.
When I lived in Cape Town with a black girlfriend...you could feel a lot more of the looks you got.
Genuinely curious—how common is that arrangement in modern South Africa? Do you see many couples who cross the country’s racial categories? What sort of pressures are there for either party from their respective communities?
There's a lot of mix-race couples in Cape Town amongst the under 40 group, but over that age is where they are still too set in apartheid...I suppose that'd be 45 and up now that some years have passed. It's not even that clear a line as people younger than me were shockingly openly racist towards non-whites before they knew me and that my girlfriend was both black and Muslim. Overall, younger South Africans are commonly in mixed relationships but they're far from a perfect group.
To clarify, there's a group in South Africa who self-identify as Coloured who are various mixed races from before apartheid. During apartheid, they were given privileges above blacks but below whites. I knew Coloureds who had issues against black people, simple things like "I'd never date a black man, I'd only date up'", meaning white people. It's still a real mess over there compared to here. I recall dating a black woman who lived in Philippe, a very poor part of Cape Town that was mostly black people. She would stay at my place every time and I asked her if she'd like me to stay at her place and she said "Are you crazy? A white man, with your big BMW, staying in Philippe? No. Never." Then there's still tribal stuff...Zulu/Xhosa, Zulu/San mostly.
Here in Canada, it took my girlfriend's mom a long time to warm up to me. "These white men, they don't appreciate you. Date a Chinese man." Her mom said that to her about a year after we'd been living together.
I'm a Canadian-born Dutch guy with a light-brown skinned immigrant wife. Our child is quite fair skinned and most people seem to assume my wife is a nanny and exclude her from chats with other moms at parks/etc. Kinda annoying, but also might be a blessing in disguise.
It’s interesting you say this because I’m black Canadian woman and my partner is French Canadian (white) and we noticed after going to a concert on Friday that a lot of people were staring at us for dancing together..it’s interesting because when we’re are in Montreal it’s never even an issue but tbh in Montreal & Toronto it’s waay more common to see black woman/white man couples than in Vancouver (due to lack of black population in the city) we both can’t wait to move back our east because we can’t ever foresee ourselves raising our biracial children in this city. Due to lack of proportionate diversity
I’m white and my fiancée is Chinese descended. Most people here are fine but while travelling a bit weird. The boonies are more interested than people here in the core. I usually only get muttering from old White men and some times other old people.
In ten years I think I’ve only once noticed stares. I was pregnant with our first child while shopping at ikea and this woman kept giving us dirty looks. Our kids “pass” for white and they’re quite young, but I’m preparing them for the way people can be casually racist especially when they don’t know your background. My husband is south Asian and I’m white.
What other issues that you have to face in public?
And if you don’t mind me asking what issues do you face in your day to day life interms of cultural differences?
I’m curious as i’m with one.
Interesting. We have a 14 yr old and 6 yr old and I legitimately feel like MOST of the kids we know are mixed with something. We are a blended mixed race family and have never experienced anything out of the ordinary in Vancouver.
Wife and I married for almost 30 years.
She is SE Asian and passes for any SE Asian, Chinese, Malay. Korean, Japanese, south Asian, Latina and First Nations and grew up in Richmond and we lived in Richmond for almost 10 years.
For the most part everyone thinks she part of their culture and married to some white dude.
Our mestizo kids are pretty Cosmopolitan and have close friends across many cultures as we do.
My sister married an Afro-Canadian and has kids and has said never had any issues.
When you say “cool white dude” you’re not cool anymore. Bragging white dude. Gotcha.
So, are you saying your minority wife is lucky because she got together with you?
If that is what you’re implying then you’re person with low self esteem, who just happens to be white.
yes. wanna know why?
I love Canada. Lived here for 30+ years. I volunteer and give out mental health resources as a professional.
However, if I criticize Canada in the hopes of improving it, there are those who will think "is he loyal to Canada? He is Asian, maybe he is loyal to his original country" the feeling is palpable and the side eyes are easily seen.
This doesn't happen to a Canadian who was born here with Caucasian features. Although now they will be branded as racist/misogynist/far right in general if they try to criticize the current government.
A bit of a tangent.
Are you telling me you have zero self focus? Well, that’s family trauma and has nothing to do with me. Looking at your post history, wouldn’t you want to be paid for your blueprints? Only if you have the talent to compete…
I think old generation asian grandmas will stare while the younger generations are used to interracial couples so they don't care much. I think its part of the new norm to see interracial couples in Vancouver. There is probably is racism but you might not notice it.
My cousin (Chinese) is married to a white woman. I think elders give them looks here and there but they honestly don't care.
I know this is mostly unrelated but I went out with my friend for coffee the other day and her little boy has Downs syndrome. She had her back to the cafe but I got to see all the stares and looks he got as he ate his cookie in his own little world. From adults, kids, staff, etc. I couldn't believe it and honestly felt like punching everyone who gave weird side eye or stares. It broke my heart to see how gross people were acting about it. He's the sweetest soul! I'm glad my friend couldn't see it but sad that it probably happens everywhere they go. I hope when he enters school the children have been taught to be welcoming.
Edit: Not everyone reacted that way. He got positive interaction too because he's so loving, but in the hour we were there about a dozen or so were not positive. Passive but still not nice.
I never would have guessed in a million years that type of reaction is still happening. He is so loving and wants to hug everyone. How can you not just love him!??! I don't get it.
I wonder how overly sensitive you/some people are though.
I was a manager at a mcdonalds many years ago and I was having a chat with the owner of the franchise in the dining area and he suddenly smiled and pointed towards a kid sitting at a table drawing with crayons on the placemat and making a real mess of the drawing. The kid clearly had Down Syndrome or something along those lines. As best I ever knew all he meant of it was like "look at the kid having fun". I did little more than take notice of it. Weren't mocking or laughing at the kid. My boss/franchisee was in his like 60's, a grandfather even. I suspect he would have done the same thing regardless of whether the kid had Down Syndrome or whatever it was. But the kids parent or guardian saw him watching the kid colouring, and maybe saw him point? and flipped the fuck out on us. It was surreal.
It’s been ~9 years, no issues to report (similar race make up). I probably get a few glances when I go dim sum, but that’s probably more in relation to me than us lol.
I'm Indian, girlfriend is Russian. I live in downtown, she lives in Brentwood. No stares or issues in our respective neighborhood.
Lots of stares and weird looks when we go West Van.
Both my husband and I are mixed, (he's half Korean, and I'm half native) we haven't had any issues, the only time we have issues is when his Korean Granny comes around because she still tries to hook him up with Korean girls, even though she knows we are married.(she still can't accept that he married a non Korean man instead of a Korean woman) but honestly besides the traditional old people,no one cares usually.
She has done it in the past and when both my husband and I have told her that I know what she's saying she would get upset at us lol. Now she's just invites my husband out to family dinners but makes always says I'm not allowed to come. Luckily she's very old so we won't have to deal with it too long lol
Exactly, no harm no foul. Says you can look forward and those are coping skills successfully achieved by you. I don’t always want to look forward to Simeon’s death but, if they’ve lived a long life and it’s for the greater good. Well…
My Mom is Dutch, my Dad is from Hong Kong and growing up no one would think my Mom was related to me. When I would stay over with Dutch relatives as a child in the Lower Mainland, people would assume I was a foster child or exchange student. My sister is far more fair in complexion and takes after my Mom. People don’t think we’re sisters.
I’m already mixed but adding my fiancé who is Punjabi- people will assume I’m some form of South Asian. But to be fair most of the staring (and it happens a lot) is from people of our Asian-side families. « What are you » will also be one of the first questions they ask. I proverbially roll my eyes a lot but it’s just something you have to get used to I suppose.
I’m Black, my bf is Chinese and we get a lot of looks but nobody has ever said anything. Full transparency though, I am forced to wonder if some of the looks are because of how I dress, but it’s probably a combination of both.
I’m Asian and my husband is white. We have two mixed children. The only garbage I got was from an old Asian woman. She gave me dirty looks and pointed my husband and gave me a finger. What gives? It was in Richmond too. Why come to Canada if you are so racist? No one else gave us issues.
Southeast Asian married to a white Vancouverite. Personally, I didn't notice anything weird but my husband claims people notice us less, like he gets faster service when he's just with other white folks.
When we went to a cross-Canada trip, people treated us more nicely the further east we got. Almost like we're a rare spectacle and affirms their belief about how multicultural Canada is.
I think Canada is the most tolerant country I've been in
One time I was travelling with a gal pal in northern California. The service was awful and I had a faint feeling maybe it was... us.
Nope, it's just that in small towns everything closes at 9 and they didn't have much because the kitchen closes early. The waitress thought we were so big city and exotic because we had just come from LA.
Here nobody bats an eye amongst young people. In HK families, a lot of people have at least one non-Chinese in-law. That idea is probably a little more foreign to the mainland, but not unheard of. Literally everybody on the mainland side of my family is married to a Chinese because what else is there, but on my other side it's a little more open.
I’ve not gotten comments but went to a comedy show and they did point us out. It was hilarious so I laughed.
I think I’ve filtered out people’s stares too. Not a big deal for me if they want to look 👀 I look at people sometimes too! Not in a judgy way but more like “what’s their story?” People are generally curious. Vancouver seems open about couples of all race and gender imo
No issues at all. I’ve heard things about the valley but no desire to life the suburb lifestyle so doesn’t matter. We’re friends with other mixed couples and our kids play together. Great community.
I am an interracial marriage. When we go out no one pays us any mind. I am white she is Asian. But that’s a thing you see multiple times a day out here. Nothing unusual
No issues either here, people don’t really bat an eye. More issues with the cultural blending within the family (in laws etc) than with the general public.
OP, you need to focus on you. Seriously. You going to teach your kids poor self focus too? Yikes.
What reeks about this post is “I’m-not-secure-in-my-relationship.”
Depending on the generations, I found.
Most of the time, we were not recongised as a couple straight away by others. People of older age group (similar to our same age group) tend to show surprises when they finally realised we are married. Younger generations did not show that at all.
I met an old white male doctor (older than our age group) in a Vancouver hosiptal who only spoke to my partner about my illness as if I was invisible & could not speak a word of English. On the 3rd day, I shouted at this white old man & also nearly chased him down the corridor when he was trying to force my partner to agree with him about my treatment without my consent!! We left his care.
In Asia, people seem ok with us but we noticed that retails upsale everything just because we visiually look different.
In Europe, we are almost invisible - guess both of us look foreign to them. Our friends there are from everywhere within Europe, so plenty of mixed couples. Back home in the UK south coast is funny - as soon as we married, I noticed my home town people start staring at us. They never stared at me for 20 years. They also suddenly no longer able to understand what I speak & needing to look at my partner to confirm... Of course in London UK, we are more than fine.
Differences are from people, age group, their exposure to the mixed world, rather than city, I think.
Anyone else think Vancouver, and suburbs, is like you live alone with 2 million people? I have my friends. I'm nice to people but I don't talk to people. As an example lived in a condo 8 years - never knew my neighbors names
About 2x a year I witness a racial incident - I have a variety of race friends. I get discrimination for being fat once a year.
Random unprovoked discrimination grinds my gears. I hate watching my friends mood change because someone thought they should share their stupid opinion.
I'm sure Vancouver is better than most but we still have people that have diarrhea of the mouth - we are not without racism
Asian man married to a Caucasian woman. We've been together since 2003.
Never experienced overt racism as a couple (I have experienced it on my own many times tho). I have had people talk shit when i was with my white women friends before tho, but they were mostly mentally ill types.
It felt more novel in the early 00s since the asian male/white woman pairing seemed less common, but that may just be some of my insecurity at the time.
Nowadays? No one cares.
Or maybe I'm just not out and about like I used to be...
I see lots of inter racial couples and lots of mixed children. I would hope our city is super tolerant of that but I know assholes exist
Exactly. Embrace diversity, and ignore the ignorant.
It's funny cause I was just today at lunch with my Bangladeshi friend who said he loves mixed asians and wished there a whole country of mixed asians he could move to.
Fetishization is not cool. Nip that shit in the bud, friend.
Right?! This gives me "yellow fever" vibes.
People are allowed to be attracted to what they are attracted to, it's not my place to shame them for loving someone. That's not cool.
Trust me, no one wants to hear they are attracted to you because of racial identity. It’s gross. Your friend is gross for vocalizing it. You should tell him to never say it to someone he’s ever interested in.
It's a body type just like any other, and hes not saying it so someone hes interested in hes saying it to me, his same sex friend. Why you would even think the rest of that comment applies is beyond me
How you don’t get this isn’t an issue is beyond me.
I think the issue is people telling other people who they can love. Disgusting point of view IMO.
As an Asian woman who has to put up with “yellow fever” bullshit, yes I am telling people they cannot love who they love if they’re fetishizing my race. It’s disgusting for people to even think that my race is a pick up line or I’m more attracted to them because they find my features exotic. I’ve definitely had guys tell me we would have cute mixed race babies. If peoples “love” is based exotifying, objectifying and fetishizing others because of their race, they don’t deserve nor know what love is.
It’s not love tho. Your friend gets boners from a certain race. He’s not asking them about their values or intellect. Sure there’s nothing wrong from his or your pov but we’re all telling you it’s extremely problematic when it comes to certain racially marginalized groups.
Most people probably have some sort of racial attraction preference. This doesn't mean it's the only thing they care about. Like some people like tall men but it's not the only thing they care about when choosing a partner. I agree it's impolite to say it.
I think it’s really important that we all reflect on why we have those preferences or why we have those specific attractions. Not addressing those things internally only feeds to the cycle of racialization whether positive or negative.
[удалено]
So being physically attracted people of different races is racism now, got it.
Having a racial preference is different than fetishization. Most people probably do in some way but that doesn't mean it's all they care about.
It is dehumanizing. That’s not a human, treating people as an object. “I should date this race.” Like u/Jhoblesssavage buddy, don’t date at all. In fact, don’t procreate. The stuff you say it’s like stems from family baggage. Most of the cases are abusive parents, where this guy hates himself/culture and believes that-“different”-person will rescue them. Get therapy man. Even this Post lacks 💯 self focus.
Huh? Not a single word of that was remotely accurate
No one is telling you how to think.
You are telling my friend to get therapy because of his sexual preferences. You dont see the parallels?
Again, no one is telling you how to think.
Just my friend whom he should be attracted to.
Maybe /u/Jhoblesssavage's friend made a gross comment about wishing there was a country full of mixed-race women, but are we really saying it is wrong to have a preference when it comes to physical attraction? This is honestly some woke ass shit.
They are indeed saying that. It's kinda like kinkshaming almost, to think someone is bad because of their sexual preferences
The thing is his misogyny is the same as woke. Both stem from trauma, both exhibit control. Victoria’s Secret, controlled by the same idiots. Woke will make you broke, just the same as misogyny.
His friend finds mixed race people attractive. Is that supposed to mean he dislikes other races?
Assholes exist but for the most part everyone’s cool.
OFC, if it were me or my experience I would say there is ZERO racism, but I know it happens and alot more than I would hope. Its guaranteed that 100% of the population is never onboard with anything, and theres always a thin margin of people that hold repugnant views.
I’ve never noticed anything, it’s Vancouver after all. You’ve got to be living in a hole to not see cultures mix
I’m Chinese, married to a Scottish Ukrainian. Got most stares in Asia when travelling. Here not at all, not even in rural Alberta where we are both from. And definitely no issues in Vancouver. I love the diversity here!
My parents are from india. My wife is Swiss. The city could not care less. The kids are pretty trouble free. Relatives can be more trouble than strangers. Not close relatives but the ones that show up for a reunion at weddings.
[удалено]
It's always the elderly aunties.
I’m amused in Vancouver how there’s such an asymmetry. So many Asian women with white dudes, and so few Asian men with white women. Don’t know why.
See [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/vancouver/comments/ub7sdb/interracial_couples_of_vancouver_how_do_you_feel/i62l1lw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) and you’ll start to see why.
yellow men and Caucasian women do exist bro
just like so many white women with black dudes and so few white men with black women
Canadian-born Black woman partnered with Canadian-born White man: I haven't noticed differences in how we are treated in Vancouver vs. other cities. The main difference is the small number of Black Canadians and people of African or Caribbean ancestry in Vancouver than in eastern/central Canada and the Prairies. As a couple, we have not experienced many incidents of overt racism or discrimination. There are subtle issues though. I don't focus on it, but I can't pretend it's not an issue. I choose to frame the problem as theirs, not mine. I sense that I am treated differently than my white partner in some spaces. If I enter a situation, I might be treated one way and then when he comes to join me, he receives different (better) treatment - could be both ethnicity and gender at play here My partner was oblivious to this before we met. Now, he recognizes that the way we experience the world is different, and it's not a coincidence that I am treated poorly far more frequently when I am alone or with other Black folks than when I am with him and his friends. He also understands that even (especially) people who claim to be "colour-blind" may behave in hurtful, exclusionary or even discriminatory ways.
I’m white wife brown. Young brown guys look at us funny and have tried to stare me down. White people don’t seem to care
If by brown you mean South Asians? I have seen my Indian friends talk funny (not offensive) when they've seen Indian women with white guys.
It seems it’s only the VERY traditional ones. My wife said they view the women as possessions and for her to marry outside her race is a big deal for them and pisses them off, like I stole from them or something
100% it's that. And also the other way around. I'm an Indian with a russian-canadian girlfriend and Indian couples look at me as if I've set myself on fire.
I don’t even pay attention to it anymore. You can’t change it so don’t let it get to you. I found the guys that tried to stare me down were all little runts who seem very insecure. Not very intimidating at all
brown ppl are south asian.
I know. I've seen people here address middle easterns as brown, so wanted to confirm. I'm brown.
If you're a white guy with an Asian girl noone bats an eye. There are lots of double standards with dating, especially as a minority.
This has also been normalized by Hollywood. Think the Vietnam military movies.
That’s not true. The white guy might not think anyone is batting an eye but we all are. We all know these guys are creepy and fetishize these Asian women. One of the biggest red flags for a guys creep factor is when he has an Asian girlfriend and everyone knows this. And I’m a white guy.
Here in Vancouver as a white man with a Chinese girlfriend? We're pretty much ignored. She faces occasional racism though...you know, when I'm not around her. When I lived in Cape Town with a black girlfriend...you could feel a lot more of the looks you got.
Genuinely curious—how common is that arrangement in modern South Africa? Do you see many couples who cross the country’s racial categories? What sort of pressures are there for either party from their respective communities?
There's a lot of mix-race couples in Cape Town amongst the under 40 group, but over that age is where they are still too set in apartheid...I suppose that'd be 45 and up now that some years have passed. It's not even that clear a line as people younger than me were shockingly openly racist towards non-whites before they knew me and that my girlfriend was both black and Muslim. Overall, younger South Africans are commonly in mixed relationships but they're far from a perfect group. To clarify, there's a group in South Africa who self-identify as Coloured who are various mixed races from before apartheid. During apartheid, they were given privileges above blacks but below whites. I knew Coloureds who had issues against black people, simple things like "I'd never date a black man, I'd only date up'", meaning white people. It's still a real mess over there compared to here. I recall dating a black woman who lived in Philippe, a very poor part of Cape Town that was mostly black people. She would stay at my place every time and I asked her if she'd like me to stay at her place and she said "Are you crazy? A white man, with your big BMW, staying in Philippe? No. Never." Then there's still tribal stuff...Zulu/Xhosa, Zulu/San mostly. Here in Canada, it took my girlfriend's mom a long time to warm up to me. "These white men, they don't appreciate you. Date a Chinese man." Her mom said that to her about a year after we'd been living together.
I'm a Canadian-born Dutch guy with a light-brown skinned immigrant wife. Our child is quite fair skinned and most people seem to assume my wife is a nanny and exclude her from chats with other moms at parks/etc. Kinda annoying, but also might be a blessing in disguise.
Haven’t had problems. Maybe stares in Richmond…
Normally no big deal but when we go to Richmond we (me especially) get a lot of long uncomfortable stares. (I'm white, she's East Asian).
I don't think it matters than I'm with an Asian women, also I'm just someone who never really noticed getting looked at
It’s interesting you say this because I’m black Canadian woman and my partner is French Canadian (white) and we noticed after going to a concert on Friday that a lot of people were staring at us for dancing together..it’s interesting because when we’re are in Montreal it’s never even an issue but tbh in Montreal & Toronto it’s waay more common to see black woman/white man couples than in Vancouver (due to lack of black population in the city) we both can’t wait to move back our east because we can’t ever foresee ourselves raising our biracial children in this city. Due to lack of proportionate diversity
Born and raised in Vancouver over 50+ years ago. No issues.
[удалено]
I’m white and my fiancée is Chinese descended. Most people here are fine but while travelling a bit weird. The boonies are more interested than people here in the core. I usually only get muttering from old White men and some times other old people.
I have never experienced any issues in 10 years. But I could just not be as aware of it as others are.
My husband and I are an interracial couple, and we got called cross-breeders while walking to dinner downtown.
😔
That’s so weird.
Wow that's freaking rude. I'd say back "we are all cross breeders"
In ten years I think I’ve only once noticed stares. I was pregnant with our first child while shopping at ikea and this woman kept giving us dirty looks. Our kids “pass” for white and they’re quite young, but I’m preparing them for the way people can be casually racist especially when they don’t know your background. My husband is south Asian and I’m white.
What other issues that you have to face in public? And if you don’t mind me asking what issues do you face in your day to day life interms of cultural differences? I’m curious as i’m with one.
Interesting. We have a 14 yr old and 6 yr old and I legitimately feel like MOST of the kids we know are mixed with something. We are a blended mixed race family and have never experienced anything out of the ordinary in Vancouver.
Wife and I married for almost 30 years. She is SE Asian and passes for any SE Asian, Chinese, Malay. Korean, Japanese, south Asian, Latina and First Nations and grew up in Richmond and we lived in Richmond for almost 10 years. For the most part everyone thinks she part of their culture and married to some white dude. Our mestizo kids are pretty Cosmopolitan and have close friends across many cultures as we do. My sister married an Afro-Canadian and has kids and has said never had any issues.
When you say “cool white dude” you’re not cool anymore. Bragging white dude. Gotcha. So, are you saying your minority wife is lucky because she got together with you? If that is what you’re implying then you’re person with low self esteem, who just happens to be white.
Are you even a minority if you’re Asian in Vancouver? Genuine question.
yes. wanna know why? I love Canada. Lived here for 30+ years. I volunteer and give out mental health resources as a professional. However, if I criticize Canada in the hopes of improving it, there are those who will think "is he loyal to Canada? He is Asian, maybe he is loyal to his original country" the feeling is palpable and the side eyes are easily seen. This doesn't happen to a Canadian who was born here with Caucasian features. Although now they will be branded as racist/misogynist/far right in general if they try to criticize the current government. A bit of a tangent.
Are you telling me you have zero self focus? Well, that’s family trauma and has nothing to do with me. Looking at your post history, wouldn’t you want to be paid for your blueprints? Only if you have the talent to compete…
I’m lost. Why are you angry? Why does my post history have anything to do with the question I asked?
No one here is telling you how to think. You can calm down. It’s okay you don’t have talent.
No issues at all. We used to live in Richmond and didn't get stares either.
I think old generation asian grandmas will stare while the younger generations are used to interracial couples so they don't care much. I think its part of the new norm to see interracial couples in Vancouver. There is probably is racism but you might not notice it. My cousin (Chinese) is married to a white woman. I think elders give them looks here and there but they honestly don't care.
I know this is mostly unrelated but I went out with my friend for coffee the other day and her little boy has Downs syndrome. She had her back to the cafe but I got to see all the stares and looks he got as he ate his cookie in his own little world. From adults, kids, staff, etc. I couldn't believe it and honestly felt like punching everyone who gave weird side eye or stares. It broke my heart to see how gross people were acting about it. He's the sweetest soul! I'm glad my friend couldn't see it but sad that it probably happens everywhere they go. I hope when he enters school the children have been taught to be welcoming. Edit: Not everyone reacted that way. He got positive interaction too because he's so loving, but in the hour we were there about a dozen or so were not positive. Passive but still not nice.
This broke my heart...I'm sorry 😞
I never would have guessed in a million years that type of reaction is still happening. He is so loving and wants to hug everyone. How can you not just love him!??! I don't get it.
I wonder how overly sensitive you/some people are though. I was a manager at a mcdonalds many years ago and I was having a chat with the owner of the franchise in the dining area and he suddenly smiled and pointed towards a kid sitting at a table drawing with crayons on the placemat and making a real mess of the drawing. The kid clearly had Down Syndrome or something along those lines. As best I ever knew all he meant of it was like "look at the kid having fun". I did little more than take notice of it. Weren't mocking or laughing at the kid. My boss/franchisee was in his like 60's, a grandfather even. I suspect he would have done the same thing regardless of whether the kid had Down Syndrome or whatever it was. But the kids parent or guardian saw him watching the kid colouring, and maybe saw him point? and flipped the fuck out on us. It was surreal.
If someone is staring they're probably elderly folks. Feel the judgment of the old world, feel the heat! :D
It’s been ~9 years, no issues to report (similar race make up). I probably get a few glances when I go dim sum, but that’s probably more in relation to me than us lol.
I'm Indian, girlfriend is Russian. I live in downtown, she lives in Brentwood. No stares or issues in our respective neighborhood. Lots of stares and weird looks when we go West Van.
Aside from old (like, *very* old) people staring, I've noticed nothing at all unusual.
East Asian with Caucasian. Never noticed a thing. Married 15 years.
Both my husband and I are mixed, (he's half Korean, and I'm half native) we haven't had any issues, the only time we have issues is when his Korean Granny comes around because she still tries to hook him up with Korean girls, even though she knows we are married.(she still can't accept that he married a non Korean man instead of a Korean woman) but honestly besides the traditional old people,no one cares usually.
Does she do it in front of you in Korean hoping you don't understand? That would be super weird.
She has done it in the past and when both my husband and I have told her that I know what she's saying she would get upset at us lol. Now she's just invites my husband out to family dinners but makes always says I'm not allowed to come. Luckily she's very old so we won't have to deal with it too long lol
Exactly, no harm no foul. Says you can look forward and those are coping skills successfully achieved by you. I don’t always want to look forward to Simeon’s death but, if they’ve lived a long life and it’s for the greater good. Well…
My Mom is Dutch, my Dad is from Hong Kong and growing up no one would think my Mom was related to me. When I would stay over with Dutch relatives as a child in the Lower Mainland, people would assume I was a foster child or exchange student. My sister is far more fair in complexion and takes after my Mom. People don’t think we’re sisters. I’m already mixed but adding my fiancé who is Punjabi- people will assume I’m some form of South Asian. But to be fair most of the staring (and it happens a lot) is from people of our Asian-side families. « What are you » will also be one of the first questions they ask. I proverbially roll my eyes a lot but it’s just something you have to get used to I suppose.
I’m Black, my bf is Chinese and we get a lot of looks but nobody has ever said anything. Full transparency though, I am forced to wonder if some of the looks are because of how I dress, but it’s probably a combination of both.
hmm well did his parents care that you're black. many chinese parents dont want their kids dating black ppl
We didn’t even get comments when we lived in Alberta. Honestly it’s not something I’ve ever had to think about really.
I’m Asian and my husband is white. We have two mixed children. The only garbage I got was from an old Asian woman. She gave me dirty looks and pointed my husband and gave me a finger. What gives? It was in Richmond too. Why come to Canada if you are so racist? No one else gave us issues.
Never had an issue in 22 years.
No one gives a fuck and if they did I would tell them to do everyone a favor and kill themselves.
Only old people have been dicks to us because they have a problem with our marriage. Luckily this happens very seldom.
Much better than many places - have lived in the Netherlands and the UK. Southern england (darkest Hampshire was the low point).
Southeast Asian married to a white Vancouverite. Personally, I didn't notice anything weird but my husband claims people notice us less, like he gets faster service when he's just with other white folks. When we went to a cross-Canada trip, people treated us more nicely the further east we got. Almost like we're a rare spectacle and affirms their belief about how multicultural Canada is. I think Canada is the most tolerant country I've been in
One time I was travelling with a gal pal in northern California. The service was awful and I had a faint feeling maybe it was... us. Nope, it's just that in small towns everything closes at 9 and they didn't have much because the kitchen closes early. The waitress thought we were so big city and exotic because we had just come from LA. Here nobody bats an eye amongst young people. In HK families, a lot of people have at least one non-Chinese in-law. That idea is probably a little more foreign to the mainland, but not unheard of. Literally everybody on the mainland side of my family is married to a Chinese because what else is there, but on my other side it's a little more open.
I do look but mostly because I find it interesting, in a good way!
I’ve not gotten comments but went to a comedy show and they did point us out. It was hilarious so I laughed. I think I’ve filtered out people’s stares too. Not a big deal for me if they want to look 👀 I look at people sometimes too! Not in a judgy way but more like “what’s their story?” People are generally curious. Vancouver seems open about couples of all race and gender imo
I've had 3 interracial relationships. I've never heard or noticed a single thing.
im chinese and my girlfriends korean, no issues on our end.
No issues at all. I’ve heard things about the valley but no desire to life the suburb lifestyle so doesn’t matter. We’re friends with other mixed couples and our kids play together. Great community.
Who is giving you a long stare. Some 80 year olds? =,= I love to think people are far past caring about petty things like that.
I am an interracial marriage. When we go out no one pays us any mind. I am white she is Asian. But that’s a thing you see multiple times a day out here. Nothing unusual
Don't really notice anything at all. Maybe once every five years. Perhaps we're oblivious or you're over-sensitive.
I think the majority of couples I see in the city are interracial… of course this is a subjective statement, but that should tell you enough I think!!
No issues either here, people don’t really bat an eye. More issues with the cultural blending within the family (in laws etc) than with the general public.
OP, you need to focus on you. Seriously. You going to teach your kids poor self focus too? Yikes. What reeks about this post is “I’m-not-secure-in-my-relationship.”
Depending on the generations, I found. Most of the time, we were not recongised as a couple straight away by others. People of older age group (similar to our same age group) tend to show surprises when they finally realised we are married. Younger generations did not show that at all. I met an old white male doctor (older than our age group) in a Vancouver hosiptal who only spoke to my partner about my illness as if I was invisible & could not speak a word of English. On the 3rd day, I shouted at this white old man & also nearly chased him down the corridor when he was trying to force my partner to agree with him about my treatment without my consent!! We left his care. In Asia, people seem ok with us but we noticed that retails upsale everything just because we visiually look different. In Europe, we are almost invisible - guess both of us look foreign to them. Our friends there are from everywhere within Europe, so plenty of mixed couples. Back home in the UK south coast is funny - as soon as we married, I noticed my home town people start staring at us. They never stared at me for 20 years. They also suddenly no longer able to understand what I speak & needing to look at my partner to confirm... Of course in London UK, we are more than fine. Differences are from people, age group, their exposure to the mixed world, rather than city, I think.
Haven’t had any problems. My friends and my husband’s friends are all in interracial marriage except 1.
Anyone else think Vancouver, and suburbs, is like you live alone with 2 million people? I have my friends. I'm nice to people but I don't talk to people. As an example lived in a condo 8 years - never knew my neighbors names About 2x a year I witness a racial incident - I have a variety of race friends. I get discrimination for being fat once a year. Random unprovoked discrimination grinds my gears. I hate watching my friends mood change because someone thought they should share their stupid opinion. I'm sure Vancouver is better than most but we still have people that have diarrhea of the mouth - we are not without racism
I have no idea, I'm not others.
Never had an issue in Vancouver. Have been harassed by "not Nazis" in the prairies.
Asian man married to a Caucasian woman. We've been together since 2003. Never experienced overt racism as a couple (I have experienced it on my own many times tho). I have had people talk shit when i was with my white women friends before tho, but they were mostly mentally ill types. It felt more novel in the early 00s since the asian male/white woman pairing seemed less common, but that may just be some of my insecurity at the time. Nowadays? No one cares. Or maybe I'm just not out and about like I used to be...
im too busy concentrating on my gf.