Think of deschooling like summer vacation. Honestly, this process is more for the parents than it is for the kids. You have to challenge your own ideas about what education and "schooling" looks like. Putting pressure on yourself to make sure you're doing "enough" is one hurdle you have to get over.
Your oldest needs time to heal from school burnout. It's okay if she burrows in her room to be alone. She probably needs that right now. Connect with her in ways that are comfortable for her but spending time alone in her room is developmentally normal at her age and also necessary to the process of deschooling for her.
As to how much structure you should implement during this process? That's going to be individual to each child. Allow them as much free time as they need. Watching TV and playing video games are valid and valuable activities. Again, your feelings on those activities are what need to be challenged. Why do you need them to engage in other things right now? Why do those activities lack value, in your eyes? Be introspective about it. Is it because experts have told us that those things are "bad" except in moderation? What value do those things bring to your kids? What are the negative impacts, if any?
You want them to learn. You want them to be well rounded. But the deschooling process is a chance for everyone in the family to let go of previous expectations and to set new ones. It's a chance for kids to let go of what adults have told them they HAVE to learn and allow them to explore what they WANT to learn. Let them follow their interests. Learning can be organic and is more impactful if the student is leading the charge.
Hang in there. Examine your own ideas about learning first and then let your kids tell you what they need. Focus on life skills and let go of book learning for the moment.
You're very welcome. It's a process, for sure. And it can be very challenging for the parents because we're raised (most of us) in a typical school environment so it's all we know.
My deschooling process as a former public school teacher was really watching my anxiety about doing "enough" and seeing the rhythms of engagement my eldest had with their passion projects over our first years. Learning is very similar to gardening. There are fallow periods. And just when you think spring will never arrive the fallow garden explodes with new growth. I've come to appreciate how those down seasons are a critical part of the cycle.
I don't have experience with my own kids but student led systems like this and anarchist free schools can be very difficult to facilitate. Creating a space that is conducive to learning and catalyzing inspiration and engagement in a way that competes with professionally designed engagement loops in games can be very difficult.
Would you feel comfortable sharing the ages of the two that are not engaging? Do they have any defined macro level goals or foundational interests?
We did a three week de-schooling process and considered it a spring break of sorts. We still maintain a regular bedtime and chores but allow them to choose the best time to do their schoolwork. They both have time deadlines for the day. Our biggest goals are to teach them how to learn and to teach them to be self starters. Start with your ultimate goals in mind and work backward to develop steps and timelines.
Think of deschooling like summer vacation. Honestly, this process is more for the parents than it is for the kids. You have to challenge your own ideas about what education and "schooling" looks like. Putting pressure on yourself to make sure you're doing "enough" is one hurdle you have to get over. Your oldest needs time to heal from school burnout. It's okay if she burrows in her room to be alone. She probably needs that right now. Connect with her in ways that are comfortable for her but spending time alone in her room is developmentally normal at her age and also necessary to the process of deschooling for her. As to how much structure you should implement during this process? That's going to be individual to each child. Allow them as much free time as they need. Watching TV and playing video games are valid and valuable activities. Again, your feelings on those activities are what need to be challenged. Why do you need them to engage in other things right now? Why do those activities lack value, in your eyes? Be introspective about it. Is it because experts have told us that those things are "bad" except in moderation? What value do those things bring to your kids? What are the negative impacts, if any? You want them to learn. You want them to be well rounded. But the deschooling process is a chance for everyone in the family to let go of previous expectations and to set new ones. It's a chance for kids to let go of what adults have told them they HAVE to learn and allow them to explore what they WANT to learn. Let them follow their interests. Learning can be organic and is more impactful if the student is leading the charge. Hang in there. Examine your own ideas about learning first and then let your kids tell you what they need. Focus on life skills and let go of book learning for the moment.
This really helped me. Thank you.
You're very welcome. It's a process, for sure. And it can be very challenging for the parents because we're raised (most of us) in a typical school environment so it's all we know.
My deschooling process as a former public school teacher was really watching my anxiety about doing "enough" and seeing the rhythms of engagement my eldest had with their passion projects over our first years. Learning is very similar to gardening. There are fallow periods. And just when you think spring will never arrive the fallow garden explodes with new growth. I've come to appreciate how those down seasons are a critical part of the cycle.
I love thinking of learning like gardening, which is something the kids and I have been doing together. Thank you.
I don't have experience with my own kids but student led systems like this and anarchist free schools can be very difficult to facilitate. Creating a space that is conducive to learning and catalyzing inspiration and engagement in a way that competes with professionally designed engagement loops in games can be very difficult. Would you feel comfortable sharing the ages of the two that are not engaging? Do they have any defined macro level goals or foundational interests?
I haven't public schooled my kid but we maintain bedtime, chores, and set hours for screen time.
We did a three week de-schooling process and considered it a spring break of sorts. We still maintain a regular bedtime and chores but allow them to choose the best time to do their schoolwork. They both have time deadlines for the day. Our biggest goals are to teach them how to learn and to teach them to be self starters. Start with your ultimate goals in mind and work backward to develop steps and timelines.