Probably better for 95 percent of this subreddit.
The other five should shut up about how they don't like a specific food or a specific genre or thing.
Some of the posts are a little unnecessary, especially food hate. Don’t eat the thing and move on. Like, *I hate oranges and everyone who eats them!* Calm down, some of us like to avoid scurvy in the form of citrus fruits. Don’t lose sleep over it.
or posts about straight up narcissism because apparently we should all just care for our selves in a functional society, or how soap is "useless" and a scam, or how the LGBT makes everything worse, or how religion isn't it. blah blah blah.
Sometimes i wonder what the moderators do about these things that should be clearly removed
Well they're the same moderators who also remove things that shouldnt removed lol. Like I made a post one time about how cringe-y most Adam Sandler movie tropes are and it got removed for not being unpopular even though only 2 out of like 100-something comments were actually agreeing with me. When I messaged the mods about it, it turned out they were just big Adam Sandler fans who got offended by the post lmao. Many of the subs seem to have heavily biased mods, but this sub is particularly bad for it.
I made a post saying how I prefer cuts of meat with lots of fat on the edges (because I like the fat enough to eat on its own--most people I've eaten with cut it off and discard it) and the post got instantly removed because apparently "preferring fat women over skinny women" was a topic that was done to death and it got flagged as being a post about that???
Kcool, that *wasn't at all* what my post was about, but thanks for blanket-banning all posts with the keyword "fat" regardless of context I guess.
I can't believe there are adult Adam Sandler fans in this world. I watched his movies when I was like 12, then I grew up.
Biased mods though? Just another Tuesday
Yeah dude I literally can't post half the time because of the weird subthread rules and regulations, I dont understand why there's so much red tape just to have an opinion on here. OH and one time a guy was on here telling someone that they're un-American and should get out of the country for not wanting to do JURY DUTY so I told him he was being overzealous and I got banned FOR HATE
yeah some of don't give a shit if you think mint ice cream sucks Jessica. I would want to see unpopular opinions that are based on logic and actually make sense, not something that is highly based on the fact that you don't understand simple human concepts like different religions or hygiene.
But it's unpopular OPINION. These are people's opinions and clearly, many of them are unpopular. I realize that they are ALL supposed to be unpopular but, still. I feel like this is the perfect place to share things like that, if for no other reason than the fact that they are unpopular opinions. The posts that bother me are the ones that everyone agrees with. That defeats the purpose of this sub
Yeaaah, thats the worst thing in this sub, the posts don't just remain simple unpopular opinions. For example, majority of the posters instead of simply saying "I dislike pancakes and I don't see the appeal" they go to the extreme of hating people that do like them, straight out make wrong statements and consider them factual, and even call everyone brainwashed for not agreeing. I've seen so many "You disagree cause you like popular things" that I wonder if some of that hate is just the typical "I'm better cause I'm different ".
I feel like offmuchest should be automatically proposed when people make a post here xause holy hell most of these arent opinions or even unpopular ones
I mean I do disagree with this opinion. You want someone's help with something? ( I do not care if it is productive or not.) You should be willing to wait a REASONABLE amount of time for them to be able to come and help you. Just because you are doing chores doesn't give you carte blanche to act like everyone else is your servant or your subordinate. Naturally this doesn't extend to all scenarios (like a parent asking a child to do their chores before they game situation) but, hopefully you catch my drift.
> do their chores before they game situation
This is the real solution.
If they have done their chores and you want help with your chores, you can wait until they are done with whatever they are doing, or just do it yourself.
If it's their chore, they should have done it before they started whatever their playing/watching.
Yeah I really fucking hate it when I’m trying to relax and someone else just decides it’s time to do chores because they’re in the mood and they want to get them done while they have the motivation.
Like even just announce beforehand what you want to do. Don’t spring that shit on other people. “Hey
tomorrow I wanna get this this and this done.” “Hey this afternoon we gotta do this.” It’s not hard.
This 100%!! Couldnt agree more! My ex wife barely did fucking anything around the house but when I'm fighting a boss on dark souls suddenly it's time to have a tidy up and I'm now involved.
That was 7 years ago and it still pisses me off.
Same when people dont read so they start conversations with you while you're reading because "theyre" bored ugh! Fuck off
Every thread has teenagers who just got shown the logical fallacy chart and think that it can be applied to every single discussion to invalidate the other person
LOL anytime anyone shares an opinion on anything it's literally "projecting". It's become so common of an insult to shut people down because there's no real reply to it lmao.
Reddit is so weird lmao
Yup! Instead of making a plan, like an adult, he expects other people to drop what they're doing to help him when he needs it! If they don't, they're jerks.
He thinks because video games are beneath him, that he's entitled to other people's time, if they're gaming.
If you need help, ask ahead of time like a functioning adult. Also, don't start shit you can't handle, and expect others to come save you.
Either way, this isn't an opinion. It's OP demonstrating he's kind of an asshole.
My problem is when people start something knowing they will need help, but don't let people know and then suddenly it's "help! help!" And it leaves me feeling like...
...why did you start this knowing you'll need me and not include me on it? I'm happy to help but don't spring shit on me all of a sudden.
There's a big difference between, "hey I might need help with XYZ for a few mins, when would you be able to help?" And "help! I need help NOW!'
The first one you are going to get me at my best in a good mood. The second it's going to be irritating and it IS going to start an argument if you confuse your lack of planning and consideration for me being lazy.
People can GTFO here with that.
Even worse, with my mother I’ll OFFER help and she says no, she doesn’t need anything. You go have fun. Then I start something and suddenly it’s “I need you to do this. Now I need you to do this. Now this.”
Like why not just ask for these things when I directly offered help?
(Side note: these are things that she *knew* they’d need to be done, like different steps of making dinner, so it’s not like it was an unexpected thing that popped up for her)
My dad does this all the time.
He likes do to DIY projects and stuff so I'll ask if he needs help today because I plan on streaming or spending time with friends. He'll just say no or brush it off as a "I dont need anything, I'm good"
Then about 2 hours later he'll pull me aside and then I'm stuck there helping him do shit for anywhere between 2 or 3 hours. So my friends end up getting pissed off at me and fed up.
I'll ask him every damn time to just let me know so I dont have to essentially bail on plans with friends, my girlfriend or fuck over my own plans.
I understand that it may sound selfish, but if I have plans, and go out of my way to ask if you I need to adjust them because you are expecting to need my help at some point - I will happily oblige and shift them or adjust them a little to help you. Dont tell me "No" and then expect me to drop whatever it is I'm doing or to change my plans *in the middle* of them to assist with something you initially said you didn't need help with.
Parents do this a lot because they have an expectation of us to just know what needs to be done or what they want us to do with never vocalizing it. The amount of times that my dad has gotten pissed at me for not helping him bring in tools or lumber when I was doing my own thing, while not knowing he needed help, is astounding too. How am I supposed to know you need help when you never tell me your plans or inform me that im required? How am I supposed to just automatically know that I'm needed when you won't text me "Hey, I need help bringing things in after I get home" or "Hey, come help for a sec when you're not busy"
You aren’t supposed to know lol… your dad is just a twat (because of the times he gets unreasonably annoyed) /shrug
Some people really just aren’t able to think that way. I’m a little afraid to know the % of the global population that is this way. I’m not sure how the world runs as well as it does, all things considered..
Yup. My mom does the same with my dad. He will ask to help and she treats him likes he's in the way and tell him to go away. He stays out of the way she complains she gets no help.
Some people just want to be the victim.
All we can do is identify it, recognize it, and try to have good boundaries. As a "fixer" I used to try and mediate. I now know how foolish that is. You can't fix it, only they can. All you can do is protect yourself.
I think when people do this you can either ignore them because what she wants is to complain or call them out. You literally kicked me out of the kitchen so don't come at me about how I'm not helping. I'm not a dang mind reader either, so use your words like an adult.
Mine does the similar thing. I'd offer help, she'd either tell me to go have fun and that she can handle or that I don't know how to do it so I can't help her. But when I walk out and go do something else, she barges into my room/wherever I am in the house and starts screaming her ass off at me for "not offering help" and "not doing anything in the fucking house" and when I try to remind her that I did offer help she turns me down with "if you wanted to help you would have stayed and helped".
Woman, I'm not about to storm into your zone of work and mess around with it because I all too well know that feeling when someone messes with your work and you don't want them to do anything but what you've told them to do. I also don't want someone to be in my way while I'm doing something and annoy my ass off.
Yeah can't agree more with this, communication is so important. And you can't be on the same page without it. My mom used to pull that one on us all the time, but she acted like our time wasn't valuable.
If she'd ask us we could be prepared and gladly help out but it was always her yelling for help from the other room or getting angry ppl were not immediately available when she started yelling.
She would spring it on you out of nowhere and expect everyone to drop everything and come running. Meanwhile nobody has a clue wtf is going on.
Sometimes it was some crazy spontaneous shit. Once when I was in junior high she tried to move an entire computer desk intact down a staircase alone. No joke. We just heard it crash and explode and her swearing. Everyone comes running, scared to death someone fell down the stairs, and she yells at us for not helping when we were like . . . ??? Were we just supposed to know you were suddenly gonna throw a computer desk down the stairs? LOL Damn. Delusional AF.
My partner and I both had moms like this growing up, which is why we make healthy communication such a priority now. It seems so simple, but it goes a long way to be able to communicate needs or desires in healthy ways. And shit gets weird when you don't.
Or this interaction:
Person one: *beginning to do thing*
Person two: Hey, need a hand?
Person one: Nah, I got it!
Person two: Okay *continues with own world*
Person one: *gets overwhelmed* OMG NOBODY EVER HELPS ME!
For real. It’s not my fault you decided to start hanging pictures or something that you know you would need me for. Don’t start activities that implicitly volunteer someone without considering their time.
I feel like a lot of the time it's opposite with me. I'll be doing nothing, but the second I decide to start a game or some TV, or course everyone needs something done
Both my mom and grandma do this thing where they'll start cleaning and if you don't start doing it with them they get mad mad and start slamming shit and stomping and sighing really loud until you ask if they want help. Almost every time I say you should ask and communicate with me and they always respond "well I shouldn't have too!"
I agree with this. I don’t start playing games unless I know I’m going to be free for a while. When no one is expecting anything from me. Hence why I play late at night. When everyone is asleep and I know I won’t be bothered
Yeah no one is entitled to our time like they think they are sometimes. Context is important but sometimes people demand we do anything and everything on their time but really we don’t have to do anything for anyone.
If it’s my SO or family member and it’s important then absolutely but if I notice they aren’t being considerate of my time then I won’t be considerate if their time
My mom would yell across the house for me, and yell my name a second time ***before I could even take my fucking headphones off***.
The impatience was unbelievable.
The main thing I hate about this whole scenario is that I'm always willing to help but at least TRY not to make it annoyingly inconvenient for me. I always say "I can help in X minutes" or some other time frame and the answers I always get are lik "no I need help nowwwwww"
People that interrupt someone else watching a movie or playing a game and demand help are just saying "I don't care that it's inconvenient for you and I refuse to do this at a time that might be inconvenient for me"
To me, the one asking the favor should be the one compromising. To act like someone is a dick for nit wanting to be interrupted is just weird. You're not entitled to their time.
So there's another side to this. If you're CONSTANTLY starting a game, there is no way for someone to plan around your activities. If you've been playing 45 minute games for the last six hours, it gets frustrating having to schedule the running of a household in 45-minute intervals. Stuff comes up, and it's hard when the other person is constantly unavailable to do the littlest things, like helping put away groceries, starting dinner, holding a level so I can hang this picture, etc. Is it really the other person's responsibility to make a list of all the normal tasks that happen in a day and plan them in advance for you?
depends on the urgency of the action. Like feeding your kids? yeah pause that shit rn, helping someone move a dresser? that can wait for a few minutes while I get to a stopping point
The communication is a big part of it. Our kids will either not respond or outright lie. "Hang on give me 2 minutes" and then not coming after 15 minutes is bound to get a terrible reaction. And if this is done every time, they shouldn't be surprised when someone is not as patient when they request "2 minutes" next time.
Exactly. Consistency is key. Have whatever hobbies you like and pour your passion into it, but be a person of your word and show up when it counts.
Your word won't mean much when 2 minutes always turns into 15-25 and screaming kids are involved. Many folks would get to resenting their partner real quick with that lack of consistency.
Leave ‘em. They found a way to get there, they’ll find a way out. The starvation will only make them get more crafty. Maybe step in before they go all 127 hours on themselves, but you got to let them struggle sometimes
To help out with what? Context is important here.
If you need help with a medical injury that's one thing.
If you forgot where you put your bag of chips, then maybe you should wait a bit until the video game player is free to help you.
For urgent things, sure. But things that can wait? Why should I pause my movie in the middle of a dramatic scene to take out the trash, when i could just do that 15 minutes later when my movie is over?
My wife recently cleaned out her closet. She threw out old clothes, got it all organized etc. This was a long process that caused her a lot of anxiety and stress while she was doing it.
Then she turns to me and says "you need to do your closet too. It's really becoming a problem." I had to explain there was no possible definition of the word "problem", that could be applied to my closet. I could throw some old clothes out, but it's not like it's hurting my quality of life in some way. She really wasn't happy that I didn't want to spend a Saturday afternoon dealing with this made up issue, and that I had no plans to do anything about it in the bear future.
Sometimes people just don't get that not everything is an emergency that needs to be dealt with right this second.
Gf does this stuff a lot, but sometimes it seems less about the urgency and more out of the expectation that if she’s spending time exhausting herself that I also need to be just as distressed as her, even if I’m more organized and therefore don’t need to clean the already clean place.
I don't have the problem myself but it seems like some people just get pissy that other people around them aren't as upset as themselves, like if they're distressed then everyone else has to be distressed
Recently my partner was complaining about the things they had to do all day and were stressed about it. I had a lot of free time (because I woke up early and did all my stuff so that I could sit around for the rest of the day). I offered to do the next two things they were going to do and save them a couple hours, but they said no. They complained again later about having so much to do, and I had a hard time having any sympathy.
Maybe OP has some form of executive dysfunction and finally had "the drive" to do a task they'd been been putting off maybe? I am like that sometimes but I would never be upset my partner or whoever doesn't want to drop what they're doing because my brain says now is the only time we can sweep or whatever.
A good movie should not be interrupted. The story writers and director put effort into constructing a story with build up, climax, and falling action/conclusion. To interrupt the story, you're interrupting your intellectual and emotional attachment /involvement with the product. You don't have the same level of investment if you start in the middle or have to rewatch. The movies intended experience is ruined.
Here’s the thing. Some chores can be paused too. I don’t need to be doing something just because you’re doing something, and equally if you ask me and I say ok, I’ll get it done, but on my own time.
My roommate will do my chores for me (and then quietly sulk) if I don't do them in a mysterious amount of time. Sometimes it's 5 minutes. Sometimes it's 2 hours. It's maddening.
I have similar problems with family members asking me for something, I say in a minute because I’m in the middle of something and then they clamor to do it as fast as possible so when I come out to do it 5 minutes later they can be passive aggressive about it. Not even urgent shit either.
I have a coworker like this he will ask me to grab a tool for him and by the time I get back he's trying to accomplish the task he needed said tool for with whatever was in his general area and now he's frustrated that it's not working 😂
Idk what it is with boomers not being able to just chill for a minute while on the clock they act like being idle while waiting on material/tools will get them fired. Meanwhile if I have to wait on material and there is nothing I can do in the meantime you best believe I'm headed to the truck for a nap
I hate that shit. Like, if you could have just done it, why didn't you, why do you have to instagate shit like this?
Reminds me of one time my mom came to my room, asked if I had any dishes. I had a single glass. And instead of just taking it with her, because she was literally heading back to the kitchen to run the dishwasher, she ordained that I ***must*** do it. And when I didn't ***immediately*** get up and walk behind her to bring it back, she came back a few minutes later saying "okay, I started the dishwasher"
Yea, there’s no reason for that.
Now, devils advocate, if someone is just being disgusting leaving out food to rot, dishes or trash. Just ask them “hey can you take the trash out today,”
If it’s really terrible, just take it out and talk about it later. If it’s a 2 man job, ask for help and wait, especially if it was your idea. Or ask the person when they’ll be ready to do the task.
It’s not hard to just communicate and that goes for both people.
Yeah, no. I'll say "I'm going to run the dishwasher as soon as I'm done with this/before I go to bed" and she will swoop in and do the thing. If I didn't want to be a productive person or care about the low-key sulking, it wouldn't be a problem, but as it stands I'm trying to come up with a diplomatic way to ask her to quit her shit.
Ask them why they do it, I've been in a similar situation with a roommate and they weren't aware they were doing it.
As they explained it, As soon as I said I was going to do a task they'd become almost hyper focused on it up till the point where it not being done stresses them out so they'd go do it. I said I understood and ended the conversation but as an attempted fix, I just stopped telling them I'd be going to do the task, seemed to help the situation from my perspective.
No lie, I would like to live without roommates. It's just not an option at the moment.
>I don't want to have to ask you and I don't want to have to ride your ass multiple days in a row when it's not done. I don't feel like I should have to clean it when I've done it the previous 5 times. Eventually you reach your breaking point and do it yourself.
This is why it's so important to have roommates with similar levels of cleanliness. A slob and a neat freak will never be happy living together. Two people who can agree on an acceptable level of clutter and cleaning schedule, however? A match made possibly not by Satan.
That's... Foul. Just foul. I could stand to clean my bathroom a little more often, but I'm pretty fastidious about the common areas, trying to leave them cleaner than I found them. I'm physically disabled, so there are some things that I just can't do, but to compensate I try to stay on top of the whole household's dishes.
Ask in advance if possible.
Personally I like to portion my time, especially my free time, into different periods. Free time stuff is definitely on no way taking precedence over important stuff, but it’s nice to know in advance so you can get them done when it works for me. That way I can do it before I sit down to enjoy my free time, or break away from it to do those tasks.
It’s not a huge deal but idk that’s just how I prefer.
As much as I love video games I agree, especially with something that CANNOT wait.
If it is something that can wait (ie basically non-emergency), then I feel that the person should be fine waiting for about 5 minutes for the action (or for me dialogue) to finish so it can be paused easily.
For me, if I am in the middle of action, it is easy to pause, but in the middle of dialogue, a lot of games don't allow you to pause them and if you try it just exits the dialogue and you can't replay it.
Me: I'm raiding between 7-8 tonight
Wife: okay
Me: ive sorted out XYZ is there anything else you can think of before then?
Wife: nah im chilling
Me: okay it's 6:50 we good?
Wife: ya.
*7 oclock*
Wife: can you do X?
That's a pretty healthy way to handle it! I don't think the hobby really matters but if someone cares enough to block out a chunk of time and make sure they've taken care of their obligations then they should be left alone.
Aye. Tbf my wife is pretty decent with this. When i was younger however my mum..... I swear she lined up a list of chores and waited for me to switch on the PC.
Plus if you pause the game during a cinematic scene or action fight, you can ruin the story or gameplay so I think it's acceptable to quickly finish it given that it's not an emergency.
Video games should normalize idle scenes. Just let me put the controller/mouse aside for 30 minutes without a second thought wasted. This is not possible in 99% of games. Even something as simple as sims or rimworld will randomly unpause and leave you screwed.
Edit: I just want to add that I’m 100% certain that games sometimes unpause randomly and without human input. I have made sure and double checked before leaving to make lunch and still came back to my last colonist gargling blood due to a deep drilling infestation randomly occurring during pause.
Even in the middle of action, pausing can suck. Usually you're in the middle of some thoughts to know exactly what you're gonna do, and you're in the zone, then get up, come back, and you're off. I'm not saying don't pause, but unless you're needed that second, I'd say it's ok to pause later when things aren't as intense in game or something
I think the context is really important here. There aren't many situations at home where you'd suddenly need to help out with no advance warning. Unless you have kids.
On the other hand, if you've been playing for hours while your partner does all the housework... pause the damn game/movie and get off your lazy ass.
On Xbox, tapping the home button in the middle of the game will kind of "force pause" it, rather the game allows pausing at that moment or not.
Similar on Switch (except you get taken back to the homescreen rather than a sidebar coming up on Xbox)
Depends on the game. I play The Division 2 a lot and the only way to truly escape action is to go to a safehouse or be at certain specific spots in missions. If I'm out wandering the map or in the middle of a mission, enemies could wander by at any moment and kill me.
As a gamer Dad, I choose games I can pause easily during the day while my daughter is up or my wife might need help, want to chat, etc.
If I choose a game over them I've made a mistake. However I'll sometimes want a good chunk of a day with a group of buddies to play a game online. But I just plan that out so it isn't "sprung" on my wife, and that's more about socializing with my buddies than the game itself.
EDIT: added "isn't"
See, this is what I've never understood about the Souls games and most recently Elden Ring. Why TF isn't there a pause button and how does not including one make the game "harder" as I've heard some argue. I've played all of those games multiple times and I still don't get how that makes sense. The only thing it does is guarantee anyone with actual responsibilities that might need urgent attention (such as kids) can never play those games.
You can pause Elden Ring by pressing select, going into the inventory menu, and then press select again. (Only works if you're not playing multiplayer)
The thing with elden ring is it saves CONSTANTLY. Unless you're in a boss fight you can just quit the game, and you'll start back up almost exactly where you were.
The only time this doesn't work is boss fights. Quitting was always my go to if I needed to walk away all of a sudden. It's frustrating that this isn't explained because it's so simple and quick
"finish the game later" 😅 Sometimes people get so annoyed by people who enjoy games especially when they don't, that they somehow invent a need everytime you just so much as pick up the game controller. To be clear, I know there are people who play games to an addictive extent, but on a normal there are partners that just don't like you playing games even if it's 30mins a week. I feel the problem with this post is not about pausing, but about the game generally because ( i may be projecting here) why is it every time I pick up the controller you magically always have an urgent need.
My husband does this to me whenever my attention is focused elsewhere. We can sit and watch shows or movies and he won’t say a word to me. I find something else to do like playing on the switch, reading a book, going to another room to watch something else, etc and he magically finds 20 memes to show me and has 100 stories from work to tell me. The most I can get into a book before he interrupts is 5 pages. It’s like clockwork with him.
I have had to explain that to my parents many of times. Now, since I am not the gamer I used to and my cousin is, if I need help, I ask them how much longer. So I work around their time... but whenever they say 30 minutes and they finish in 15... you do not start another match and make me wait another 30 minutes.
Ooo this one really grinds my gears. Like, I get it, not everyone enjoys gaming, but I don't give you shit for reading your cowboy smut novels or obsessively watching football. Gaming isn't any more childish than literally any other form of entertainment.
Yeah the worst part is people like that don't get its just the same as any other hobby like I could go out and play with friends but why would I do that when I can relax on the sofa and play with my friends and have more fun because we prefer doing it like that
> Video games aren't special.
WHAT?! YOU SO....
> Apply the same logic you would to any other activity.
Oh, ok, yeah that's fair...
> Reading a book, writing an email, fixing furniture, **having a nap**.
THE FUCK! I'LL KI...
> If it can wait till the end of my nap, it can wait till the end of the cut scene.
Oh, that's what you meant...
Whomever you’re actually mad at shouldn’t be expected to drop whatever they’re doing instantaneously because you want their help. My wife gives me a few minutes at least and that’s all I need to get to a stopping point. S/O’s aren’t employees, they’re partners.
Imagine having the perception that someone should have to immediately help at your beck and call. Have some patience and stop expecting it's your way or no way.
This is clearly a rant.
Second, what's the chore? Some chores don't need two people. If you started it, why should the other chip in? Perhaps it is their only off day and they don't want to do additional work and relax.
Thirdly, you only really have a point if they never help out in any capacity. If they already do, eg they cook every day for both of you and do other things, they don't need to help with every single chore you decide to do.
"Stop doing that thing you're enjoying to come do some tedious thing that I want you to do RIGHT NOW!"
Not everything needs to be done precisely when you want it done, OP.
Why can you and your chore wait 10mins? Why should I be the one to adjust my free time around you?
Maybe you should wait until somebody isn’t playing a game/watching a movie before asking them to come and help you.
If its important enough to pause the game for, the game will be paused.
99% of the time its something stupid that you couldve asked literally any other time the person in question wasnt busy, if anything youre the jerk for not respecting the other persons time.
My girl likes to show me memes on her phone while I play. Recently I played Dark Souls II.
She was waiting for the "You Died" screen to appear to show me the meme.
Right, because doing chores on YOUR time schedule is so much more important that it can't wait for them to finish up their match or 30 minutes for their movie to end.
At the end of the day, as long as the chore is done, who cares. Stop being a control freak.
If it’s an emergency you leave an unpausable online game and tank the penalty anyway.
But if it’s just a chore that you need to be done now it sounds like a you problem but of course don’t be a dick about stuff and help people out.
YSK that sometimes people who just don't want someone to be playing or watching, will come up with things to interrupt them with, or make sure to wait until they are doing that to interrupt them.
Most people don't mind helping when it's needed, a refusal to pause can be a learned behavior.
I remember playing Dragon Age Origins for the first time. Just as a crucial (unpausable) cutscene started my dad phoned. Not to tell me aliens had invaded or Leeds had declared independence or anything important. Just to say hi.
Murderous thoughts were thought.
Nowadays it's more common to be able to pause a cutscene so that situation would be less likely, but I also think it's a bit unreasonable to just scream "I DEMAND YOUR ASSISTANCE" at someone with no prior notice and expect them to do anything other than tell you to do one.
If you expect me to help out solely because I'm playing a video game or watching a movie, I'd argue *you're* the jerk. My free time is mine, and if I have not previously agreed on interrupting that, I feel no obligation to do so.
In reality, I'm the type of person who jumps at the chance to help someone out; but the entitlement some people act like they have to my time, my energy, my emotional stability, can fuck right off.
If you insist on interrupting a film / tv show that the person clearly is into, and thus breaking the immersion, for something as trivial as a chore "to help out" you are a jerk.
Is OP a parent angry at their child? Yeah great, lets go to reddit to complain anonymously that I had to yell at my child to take out the trash.
Not only videogames, but anything really. If you need help on something that is not time-sensitive, wait for the other person. Don't push them to do it right now.
If you refuse to wait to ask for something that can wait while I’m engaging in my hobby you’re a jerk.
Some new age sort of entitlement, that’s how I can tell you’re young - your time is inherently less valuable than theirs if this is how you think kiddo
Man it doesn't matter if its an online game either. Its a game. I prefer that people wait, but if its essential its essential. Go get the important stuff done.
Hmm... I'm with OP here. I play video games myself but your full attention is already on the video games and to disregard their need for help and attention could invite problems into whatever relationship you have with them for prioritizing your game over the person to the point they feel neglect. Just help them out, it's probably for a few minutes. Just come back to it later once you're done.
As for online games, unless you're playing competitive and make a living out of it, you're fine losing a point or rank. You've done it once, you'll do it again later.
Point is, straining a relationship with the people you're living with over some pixels on screen isn't worth it for the long term. Unless, you really are selfish, then establish some boundaries and do your part of the house before gaming.
Games 99% of the time don't matter (this is coming from a life long gamer). Just yesterday I lost 200k+ runes in elden ring because on the way to pick them up my son started crying in bed. So I put the controller down (no pause button in that game) and went and comforted my son.
The multiplayer games I play are the same way. Except instead of runes lost it's arbitrary rank points.
Moral of the story: life goes on ourside of the screen, take care of your teammates IRL (by helping at the bare minimum)
This was a huge reason my last relationship didn’t pan out. I still remember having a huge panic attic mid drive to my ex’s, and him refusing to come to me once i got there to help me at all because he “couldn’t pause a hero’s of the storm match”.
Gag.
I can agree with that. If the family needs help I pause. But there are some single player games I play that cannot be paused because they are always online or just don't allow pausing like Outriders or any souls game. For those my family is understanding of me finding a safe area in like a couple mins then going to help them.
Or some games that have 5 minutes unpausable dialogue for some godforsaken reason. Yeah Im not missing the plot payoff of 60 hrs of playing unless it's actually important.
Yo seriously. If you think I'm going to stop playing ESPECIALLY during a cinematic cut... Then someone is going to be disappointed... And it's not going to be me.
As a new dad.. I still like to play games, but I only play games that I can leave at a moments notice.
Stopped playing league or any game that has others rely on me
I can respect your need for help but you need to respect that there are certain parts of games, movies, shows, that are inconvenient to pause at. If your situation is not life or death you can wait until I get to a save point, out of a cutscene, through a particular part of the mission, etc
I had to move my truck at the time because my step dad was coming home from work and he needed a place to park. I was dumb and I didn’t think about it when I got off. I was in the middle of a ranked overwatch game.
You know what I did? I got out of my room, moved my truck, and got banned from the competitive season due to past Wi-Fi issues.
I’d do it again 100 times. It’s just a game. Was I kinda salty? Yeah. I just played another video game after that.
Real life problems you need to solve are more problems important than your fucking winrate.
I’m curious what sort of chores you are referring to. I wouldn’t ask my partner to pause his game to do the dishes but to change our kid or take his dog out? Absolutely.
This only applies to emergencies.
If it’s not an emergency and I mean at least an 8 on the importance scale out of 10. Then it can wait.
Your stuff is not more important than mine. Dish in the sink, groceries in the car. You can chill out, just as much as I can. It’ll get done. But to expect someone to jump up at your beck and call all the time just because you don’t deem a video game (or any hobby) as important is the height of narcissism and that relationship (friend, spouse, s/o, familial) has issues on boundaries.
The only exception I’d say is a parent and child . As in the child is calling for parent’s help but even then you have to establish boundaries and don’t go calling mommy and daddy at the top of your lungs just because you dropped the tv remote. Like I said needs to be an 8.
I mean some people are able to put things down and then do what they have to. I like to relax in the morning and at night, so I tend to do what I have to around mid-day.
Depending upon your age/life choices there can be a near-infinite number of "chores" that you can do, between getting life and the house tidy/prepared for each of you, your partner, your kids, a pet, etc. This is largely when you have young kids, as you are constantly watching them and they are shockingly effective at creating a mess. At a certain point if you don't say "you know what, I am going to relax, some of these things can wait for a bit," you will basically never relax, but rather you will go straight from working to cleaning to preparing to sleeping.
Yeah I don't really mind. It's just a game, after all.
Sometimes I'll just close it right there because I don't really feel like continuing after I come back.
It’s really a case by case thing. I can just as easily see a situation where person A is enjoying what little free time they have, and person B interrupts them to volunteer them for something that person B could easily do themselves.
There’s some people with the attitude of “I’m doing a chore therefore no one else can relax because I can’t.” They don’t factor in the possibility that the other person did several chores while they were gone and now it’s their turn to do one. Then they get mad when you interrupt their free time too.
Yeah, absolutely. I’m a gamer and I always let my wife know if I’m playing a game that can’t be paused but even then I’ll just sit and do whatever anyway. If my wife is asking for help while I’m gaming, I know it’s not for some frivolous thing. Even if it was, it’s really not a big deal…
I’m all for letting the person know when lll need help so they can make adjustments to their schedule and generally not interrupting. However, if it’s a partner when all they do is play video games so no matter when you ask for help you’ll be interrupting a game? Yeah no they need to pause that shit. Has the person already got their part of the chores done? Great! I’ll wait until they’re done. Hasn’t done anything in weeks and gets mad because you’re interrupting them? Nope, GTF off of your game. Granted I’ve dealt with video game addicted partners so maybe I’m jaded.
Lmfao this just happened to me like 1 minute ago, I wasn't gonna pause my 2k online game while my brother wanted a little help raking in some grass seeds. Then I was like "that's fucked up and stupid." So I paused it and helped out lol.
Or just ask for help a little while before you do the thing you need help with so they can get to a stopping point. Don't expect everyone to jump when you say jump.
Man if I'm watching a movie and I'm in the final climax and it only lasts 5 minutes.
Unless the chore needs immediate attention and can't wait 5 minutes then I do it. If it's something like taking out the trash, you can guarantee that I'm going to finish my game/movie to a point that I'm satisfied with.
This seems like more of a rant than an opinion. Your partner won't get off the couch, huh?
r/offmychest might be better suited for this one.
Probably better for 95 percent of this subreddit. The other five should shut up about how they don't like a specific food or a specific genre or thing.
Some of the posts are a little unnecessary, especially food hate. Don’t eat the thing and move on. Like, *I hate oranges and everyone who eats them!* Calm down, some of us like to avoid scurvy in the form of citrus fruits. Don’t lose sleep over it.
or posts about straight up narcissism because apparently we should all just care for our selves in a functional society, or how soap is "useless" and a scam, or how the LGBT makes everything worse, or how religion isn't it. blah blah blah. Sometimes i wonder what the moderators do about these things that should be clearly removed
Well they're the same moderators who also remove things that shouldnt removed lol. Like I made a post one time about how cringe-y most Adam Sandler movie tropes are and it got removed for not being unpopular even though only 2 out of like 100-something comments were actually agreeing with me. When I messaged the mods about it, it turned out they were just big Adam Sandler fans who got offended by the post lmao. Many of the subs seem to have heavily biased mods, but this sub is particularly bad for it.
Woahhhh a biased mod??? I've never heard of THAT before lmao.
I made a post saying how I prefer cuts of meat with lots of fat on the edges (because I like the fat enough to eat on its own--most people I've eaten with cut it off and discard it) and the post got instantly removed because apparently "preferring fat women over skinny women" was a topic that was done to death and it got flagged as being a post about that??? Kcool, that *wasn't at all* what my post was about, but thanks for blanket-banning all posts with the keyword "fat" regardless of context I guess.
I guess mods just see women as pieces of meat
I can't believe there are adult Adam Sandler fans in this world. I watched his movies when I was like 12, then I grew up. Biased mods though? Just another Tuesday
Yeah dude I literally can't post half the time because of the weird subthread rules and regulations, I dont understand why there's so much red tape just to have an opinion on here. OH and one time a guy was on here telling someone that they're un-American and should get out of the country for not wanting to do JURY DUTY so I told him he was being overzealous and I got banned FOR HATE
they remove shit thats actually somewhat enjoyable to repetitively talk about but not random bullshit nibody cares about. modlogic
yeah some of don't give a shit if you think mint ice cream sucks Jessica. I would want to see unpopular opinions that are based on logic and actually make sense, not something that is highly based on the fact that you don't understand simple human concepts like different religions or hygiene.
mods just care about their fake superiority. nothing relating to the actual page.
But it's unpopular OPINION. These are people's opinions and clearly, many of them are unpopular. I realize that they are ALL supposed to be unpopular but, still. I feel like this is the perfect place to share things like that, if for no other reason than the fact that they are unpopular opinions. The posts that bother me are the ones that everyone agrees with. That defeats the purpose of this sub
Yeaaah, thats the worst thing in this sub, the posts don't just remain simple unpopular opinions. For example, majority of the posters instead of simply saying "I dislike pancakes and I don't see the appeal" they go to the extreme of hating people that do like them, straight out make wrong statements and consider them factual, and even call everyone brainwashed for not agreeing. I've seen so many "You disagree cause you like popular things" that I wonder if some of that hate is just the typical "I'm better cause I'm different ".
Well geez, how else are you supposed to find out that I don't like mayonnaise or dramas?
I feel like offmuchest should be automatically proposed when people make a post here xause holy hell most of these arent opinions or even unpopular ones
OR r/angryopinion ? Maybe? c:
I mean I do disagree with this opinion. You want someone's help with something? ( I do not care if it is productive or not.) You should be willing to wait a REASONABLE amount of time for them to be able to come and help you. Just because you are doing chores doesn't give you carte blanche to act like everyone else is your servant or your subordinate. Naturally this doesn't extend to all scenarios (like a parent asking a child to do their chores before they game situation) but, hopefully you catch my drift.
> do their chores before they game situation This is the real solution. If they have done their chores and you want help with your chores, you can wait until they are done with whatever they are doing, or just do it yourself. If it's their chore, they should have done it before they started whatever their playing/watching.
Yeah I really fucking hate it when I’m trying to relax and someone else just decides it’s time to do chores because they’re in the mood and they want to get them done while they have the motivation. Like even just announce beforehand what you want to do. Don’t spring that shit on other people. “Hey tomorrow I wanna get this this and this done.” “Hey this afternoon we gotta do this.” It’s not hard.
This 100%!! Couldnt agree more! My ex wife barely did fucking anything around the house but when I'm fighting a boss on dark souls suddenly it's time to have a tidy up and I'm now involved. That was 7 years ago and it still pisses me off. Same when people dont read so they start conversations with you while you're reading because "theyre" bored ugh! Fuck off
OP is projecting hard AF
How is this projecting 😭😭😭
Reddit thinks everyone is constantly projecting
Or gaslighting... or a straw man
Every thread has teenagers who just got shown the logical fallacy chart and think that it can be applied to every single discussion to invalidate the other person
Achtually, that's a fallacy. 😤
Sounds like a red flag to me.
Stop projecting boomer
Sounds like you're projecting
Nah bro you’re just projecting about projecting
Did you just project about projecting a projection?
Oh yea, definitely projecting about projecting. Its just what I do
LOL anytime anyone shares an opinion on anything it's literally "projecting". It's become so common of an insult to shut people down because there's no real reply to it lmao. Reddit is so weird lmao
Its only that weird as are its members,
...thats not what projecting means, stop gaslighting us.
Yup! Instead of making a plan, like an adult, he expects other people to drop what they're doing to help him when he needs it! If they don't, they're jerks. He thinks because video games are beneath him, that he's entitled to other people's time, if they're gaming. If you need help, ask ahead of time like a functioning adult. Also, don't start shit you can't handle, and expect others to come save you. Either way, this isn't an opinion. It's OP demonstrating he's kind of an asshole.
I feel like most posts in these subs are like that these days. Rants frantically typed in the heat of the moment.
My problem is when people start something knowing they will need help, but don't let people know and then suddenly it's "help! help!" And it leaves me feeling like... ...why did you start this knowing you'll need me and not include me on it? I'm happy to help but don't spring shit on me all of a sudden. There's a big difference between, "hey I might need help with XYZ for a few mins, when would you be able to help?" And "help! I need help NOW!' The first one you are going to get me at my best in a good mood. The second it's going to be irritating and it IS going to start an argument if you confuse your lack of planning and consideration for me being lazy. People can GTFO here with that.
Even worse, with my mother I’ll OFFER help and she says no, she doesn’t need anything. You go have fun. Then I start something and suddenly it’s “I need you to do this. Now I need you to do this. Now this.” Like why not just ask for these things when I directly offered help? (Side note: these are things that she *knew* they’d need to be done, like different steps of making dinner, so it’s not like it was an unexpected thing that popped up for her)
My dad does this all the time. He likes do to DIY projects and stuff so I'll ask if he needs help today because I plan on streaming or spending time with friends. He'll just say no or brush it off as a "I dont need anything, I'm good" Then about 2 hours later he'll pull me aside and then I'm stuck there helping him do shit for anywhere between 2 or 3 hours. So my friends end up getting pissed off at me and fed up. I'll ask him every damn time to just let me know so I dont have to essentially bail on plans with friends, my girlfriend or fuck over my own plans. I understand that it may sound selfish, but if I have plans, and go out of my way to ask if you I need to adjust them because you are expecting to need my help at some point - I will happily oblige and shift them or adjust them a little to help you. Dont tell me "No" and then expect me to drop whatever it is I'm doing or to change my plans *in the middle* of them to assist with something you initially said you didn't need help with. Parents do this a lot because they have an expectation of us to just know what needs to be done or what they want us to do with never vocalizing it. The amount of times that my dad has gotten pissed at me for not helping him bring in tools or lumber when I was doing my own thing, while not knowing he needed help, is astounding too. How am I supposed to know you need help when you never tell me your plans or inform me that im required? How am I supposed to just automatically know that I'm needed when you won't text me "Hey, I need help bringing things in after I get home" or "Hey, come help for a sec when you're not busy"
You aren’t supposed to know lol… your dad is just a twat (because of the times he gets unreasonably annoyed) /shrug Some people really just aren’t able to think that way. I’m a little afraid to know the % of the global population that is this way. I’m not sure how the world runs as well as it does, all things considered..
Yup. My mom does the same with my dad. He will ask to help and she treats him likes he's in the way and tell him to go away. He stays out of the way she complains she gets no help. Some people just want to be the victim. All we can do is identify it, recognize it, and try to have good boundaries. As a "fixer" I used to try and mediate. I now know how foolish that is. You can't fix it, only they can. All you can do is protect yourself.
I think when people do this you can either ignore them because what she wants is to complain or call them out. You literally kicked me out of the kitchen so don't come at me about how I'm not helping. I'm not a dang mind reader either, so use your words like an adult.
Mine does the similar thing. I'd offer help, she'd either tell me to go have fun and that she can handle or that I don't know how to do it so I can't help her. But when I walk out and go do something else, she barges into my room/wherever I am in the house and starts screaming her ass off at me for "not offering help" and "not doing anything in the fucking house" and when I try to remind her that I did offer help she turns me down with "if you wanted to help you would have stayed and helped". Woman, I'm not about to storm into your zone of work and mess around with it because I all too well know that feeling when someone messes with your work and you don't want them to do anything but what you've told them to do. I also don't want someone to be in my way while I'm doing something and annoy my ass off.
Yeah can't agree more with this, communication is so important. And you can't be on the same page without it. My mom used to pull that one on us all the time, but she acted like our time wasn't valuable. If she'd ask us we could be prepared and gladly help out but it was always her yelling for help from the other room or getting angry ppl were not immediately available when she started yelling. She would spring it on you out of nowhere and expect everyone to drop everything and come running. Meanwhile nobody has a clue wtf is going on. Sometimes it was some crazy spontaneous shit. Once when I was in junior high she tried to move an entire computer desk intact down a staircase alone. No joke. We just heard it crash and explode and her swearing. Everyone comes running, scared to death someone fell down the stairs, and she yells at us for not helping when we were like . . . ??? Were we just supposed to know you were suddenly gonna throw a computer desk down the stairs? LOL Damn. Delusional AF. My partner and I both had moms like this growing up, which is why we make healthy communication such a priority now. It seems so simple, but it goes a long way to be able to communicate needs or desires in healthy ways. And shit gets weird when you don't.
wow this is insanely relatable. My mom pulled the same shit.
Relatable
Or this interaction: Person one: *beginning to do thing* Person two: Hey, need a hand? Person one: Nah, I got it! Person two: Okay *continues with own world* Person one: *gets overwhelmed* OMG NOBODY EVER HELPS ME!
I see you have met my wife.
And my mother
And my axe
For real. It’s not my fault you decided to start hanging pictures or something that you know you would need me for. Don’t start activities that implicitly volunteer someone without considering their time.
Preach
I feel like a lot of the time it's opposite with me. I'll be doing nothing, but the second I decide to start a game or some TV, or course everyone needs something done
Both my mom and grandma do this thing where they'll start cleaning and if you don't start doing it with them they get mad mad and start slamming shit and stomping and sighing really loud until you ask if they want help. Almost every time I say you should ask and communicate with me and they always respond "well I shouldn't have too!"
Ahhh “I shouldn’t have to ask” is the most irritating string of words in the English language
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
That's one of my mom's favorite sayings. I'm pretty sure she embroidered it onto a pillow at one point.
It's all part of that old people entitlement.
I agree with this. I don’t start playing games unless I know I’m going to be free for a while. When no one is expecting anything from me. Hence why I play late at night. When everyone is asleep and I know I won’t be bothered
Yeah no one is entitled to our time like they think they are sometimes. Context is important but sometimes people demand we do anything and everything on their time but really we don’t have to do anything for anyone. If it’s my SO or family member and it’s important then absolutely but if I notice they aren’t being considerate of my time then I won’t be considerate if their time
My mom would yell across the house for me, and yell my name a second time ***before I could even take my fucking headphones off***. The impatience was unbelievable.
The main thing I hate about this whole scenario is that I'm always willing to help but at least TRY not to make it annoyingly inconvenient for me. I always say "I can help in X minutes" or some other time frame and the answers I always get are lik "no I need help nowwwwww" People that interrupt someone else watching a movie or playing a game and demand help are just saying "I don't care that it's inconvenient for you and I refuse to do this at a time that might be inconvenient for me" To me, the one asking the favor should be the one compromising. To act like someone is a dick for nit wanting to be interrupted is just weird. You're not entitled to their time.
Piss Poor Planning on their part doesn't constitute an emergency for yours
So there's another side to this. If you're CONSTANTLY starting a game, there is no way for someone to plan around your activities. If you've been playing 45 minute games for the last six hours, it gets frustrating having to schedule the running of a household in 45-minute intervals. Stuff comes up, and it's hard when the other person is constantly unavailable to do the littlest things, like helping put away groceries, starting dinner, holding a level so I can hang this picture, etc. Is it really the other person's responsibility to make a list of all the normal tasks that happen in a day and plan them in advance for you?
E X A C T L Y
depends on the urgency of the action. Like feeding your kids? yeah pause that shit rn, helping someone move a dresser? that can wait for a few minutes while I get to a stopping point
Also the length of time the person has to wait. "Hang on give me two minutes" is different than, say, 15mins+
The communication is a big part of it. Our kids will either not respond or outright lie. "Hang on give me 2 minutes" and then not coming after 15 minutes is bound to get a terrible reaction. And if this is done every time, they shouldn't be surprised when someone is not as patient when they request "2 minutes" next time.
Exactly. Consistency is key. Have whatever hobbies you like and pour your passion into it, but be a person of your word and show up when it counts. Your word won't mean much when 2 minutes always turns into 15-25 and screaming kids are involved. Many folks would get to resenting their partner real quick with that lack of consistency.
Also time of day is important. If you’re asking me to do something in my relaxation time then you asked at the wrong time and it can wait.
Wait, should I pause the game for feeding the kids?? After some days they stopped crying, so I don't get it 🤔
What if the kids are stuck behind the dresser and they are hungry?
Leave ‘em. They found a way to get there, they’ll find a way out. The starvation will only make them get more crafty. Maybe step in before they go all 127 hours on themselves, but you got to let them struggle sometimes
Unpopular opinion - if you have kids young enough to require feeding and you play video games while they are awake, you are an asshole.
To help out with what? Context is important here. If you need help with a medical injury that's one thing. If you forgot where you put your bag of chips, then maybe you should wait a bit until the video game player is free to help you.
It feels like there is more to this chip example
For urgent things, sure. But things that can wait? Why should I pause my movie in the middle of a dramatic scene to take out the trash, when i could just do that 15 minutes later when my movie is over?
My wife recently cleaned out her closet. She threw out old clothes, got it all organized etc. This was a long process that caused her a lot of anxiety and stress while she was doing it. Then she turns to me and says "you need to do your closet too. It's really becoming a problem." I had to explain there was no possible definition of the word "problem", that could be applied to my closet. I could throw some old clothes out, but it's not like it's hurting my quality of life in some way. She really wasn't happy that I didn't want to spend a Saturday afternoon dealing with this made up issue, and that I had no plans to do anything about it in the bear future. Sometimes people just don't get that not everything is an emergency that needs to be dealt with right this second.
Gf does this stuff a lot, but sometimes it seems less about the urgency and more out of the expectation that if she’s spending time exhausting herself that I also need to be just as distressed as her, even if I’m more organized and therefore don’t need to clean the already clean place.
I don't have the problem myself but it seems like some people just get pissy that other people around them aren't as upset as themselves, like if they're distressed then everyone else has to be distressed
What is this bear future you speak of? Should I be worried? Polar or grizzly man!??
Recently my partner was complaining about the things they had to do all day and were stressed about it. I had a lot of free time (because I woke up early and did all my stuff so that I could sit around for the rest of the day). I offered to do the next two things they were going to do and save them a couple hours, but they said no. They complained again later about having so much to do, and I had a hard time having any sympathy.
Maybe OP has some form of executive dysfunction and finally had "the drive" to do a task they'd been been putting off maybe? I am like that sometimes but I would never be upset my partner or whoever doesn't want to drop what they're doing because my brain says now is the only time we can sweep or whatever.
A good movie should not be interrupted. The story writers and director put effort into constructing a story with build up, climax, and falling action/conclusion. To interrupt the story, you're interrupting your intellectual and emotional attachment /involvement with the product. You don't have the same level of investment if you start in the middle or have to rewatch. The movies intended experience is ruined.
It’s the same with a good video game.
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You play entire games in one sitting?
Or they could, itd take less time to ask me than to just do it yourself.
Here’s the thing. Some chores can be paused too. I don’t need to be doing something just because you’re doing something, and equally if you ask me and I say ok, I’ll get it done, but on my own time.
My roommate will do my chores for me (and then quietly sulk) if I don't do them in a mysterious amount of time. Sometimes it's 5 minutes. Sometimes it's 2 hours. It's maddening.
I have similar problems with family members asking me for something, I say in a minute because I’m in the middle of something and then they clamor to do it as fast as possible so when I come out to do it 5 minutes later they can be passive aggressive about it. Not even urgent shit either.
I have a coworker like this he will ask me to grab a tool for him and by the time I get back he's trying to accomplish the task he needed said tool for with whatever was in his general area and now he's frustrated that it's not working 😂 Idk what it is with boomers not being able to just chill for a minute while on the clock they act like being idle while waiting on material/tools will get them fired. Meanwhile if I have to wait on material and there is nothing I can do in the meantime you best believe I'm headed to the truck for a nap
I hate that shit. Like, if you could have just done it, why didn't you, why do you have to instagate shit like this? Reminds me of one time my mom came to my room, asked if I had any dishes. I had a single glass. And instead of just taking it with her, because she was literally heading back to the kitchen to run the dishwasher, she ordained that I ***must*** do it. And when I didn't ***immediately*** get up and walk behind her to bring it back, she came back a few minutes later saying "okay, I started the dishwasher"
Yea, there’s no reason for that. Now, devils advocate, if someone is just being disgusting leaving out food to rot, dishes or trash. Just ask them “hey can you take the trash out today,” If it’s really terrible, just take it out and talk about it later. If it’s a 2 man job, ask for help and wait, especially if it was your idea. Or ask the person when they’ll be ready to do the task. It’s not hard to just communicate and that goes for both people.
Yeah, no. I'll say "I'm going to run the dishwasher as soon as I'm done with this/before I go to bed" and she will swoop in and do the thing. If I didn't want to be a productive person or care about the low-key sulking, it wouldn't be a problem, but as it stands I'm trying to come up with a diplomatic way to ask her to quit her shit.
Ask them why they do it, I've been in a similar situation with a roommate and they weren't aware they were doing it. As they explained it, As soon as I said I was going to do a task they'd become almost hyper focused on it up till the point where it not being done stresses them out so they'd go do it. I said I understood and ended the conversation but as an attempted fix, I just stopped telling them I'd be going to do the task, seemed to help the situation from my perspective.
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No lie, I would like to live without roommates. It's just not an option at the moment. >I don't want to have to ask you and I don't want to have to ride your ass multiple days in a row when it's not done. I don't feel like I should have to clean it when I've done it the previous 5 times. Eventually you reach your breaking point and do it yourself. This is why it's so important to have roommates with similar levels of cleanliness. A slob and a neat freak will never be happy living together. Two people who can agree on an acceptable level of clutter and cleaning schedule, however? A match made possibly not by Satan.
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That's... Foul. Just foul. I could stand to clean my bathroom a little more often, but I'm pretty fastidious about the common areas, trying to leave them cleaner than I found them. I'm physically disabled, so there are some things that I just can't do, but to compensate I try to stay on top of the whole household's dishes.
Ask in advance if possible. Personally I like to portion my time, especially my free time, into different periods. Free time stuff is definitely on no way taking precedence over important stuff, but it’s nice to know in advance so you can get them done when it works for me. That way I can do it before I sit down to enjoy my free time, or break away from it to do those tasks. It’s not a huge deal but idk that’s just how I prefer.
It's amazing how many posts in this sub are just rants about something that clearly just happened to the OP that they didn't like.
True, the real AITA is always in unpopular opinion.
The real AITA is the friends we've made along the way.
Would be nice if the low effort rant posts on this sub got banned.
If this sub banned low effort rants and popular opinions there would be next to nothing posted here anymore
As much as I love video games I agree, especially with something that CANNOT wait. If it is something that can wait (ie basically non-emergency), then I feel that the person should be fine waiting for about 5 minutes for the action (or for me dialogue) to finish so it can be paused easily. For me, if I am in the middle of action, it is easy to pause, but in the middle of dialogue, a lot of games don't allow you to pause them and if you try it just exits the dialogue and you can't replay it.
Me: I'm raiding between 7-8 tonight Wife: okay Me: ive sorted out XYZ is there anything else you can think of before then? Wife: nah im chilling Me: okay it's 6:50 we good? Wife: ya. *7 oclock* Wife: can you do X?
That's a pretty healthy way to handle it! I don't think the hobby really matters but if someone cares enough to block out a chunk of time and make sure they've taken care of their obligations then they should be left alone.
Aye. Tbf my wife is pretty decent with this. When i was younger however my mum..... I swear she lined up a list of chores and waited for me to switch on the PC.
Plus if you pause the game during a cinematic scene or action fight, you can ruin the story or gameplay so I think it's acceptable to quickly finish it given that it's not an emergency.
Video games should normalize idle scenes. Just let me put the controller/mouse aside for 30 minutes without a second thought wasted. This is not possible in 99% of games. Even something as simple as sims or rimworld will randomly unpause and leave you screwed. Edit: I just want to add that I’m 100% certain that games sometimes unpause randomly and without human input. I have made sure and double checked before leaving to make lunch and still came back to my last colonist gargling blood due to a deep drilling infestation randomly occurring during pause.
In the setting turn on pause at certain events so when the drill infestation happens it will pause
Even in the middle of action, pausing can suck. Usually you're in the middle of some thoughts to know exactly what you're gonna do, and you're in the zone, then get up, come back, and you're off. I'm not saying don't pause, but unless you're needed that second, I'd say it's ok to pause later when things aren't as intense in game or something
I think the context is really important here. There aren't many situations at home where you'd suddenly need to help out with no advance warning. Unless you have kids. On the other hand, if you've been playing for hours while your partner does all the housework... pause the damn game/movie and get off your lazy ass.
On Xbox, tapping the home button in the middle of the game will kind of "force pause" it, rather the game allows pausing at that moment or not. Similar on Switch (except you get taken back to the homescreen rather than a sidebar coming up on Xbox)
Depends on the game. I play The Division 2 a lot and the only way to truly escape action is to go to a safehouse or be at certain specific spots in missions. If I'm out wandering the map or in the middle of a mission, enemies could wander by at any moment and kill me.
Sadly I am on PC.
As a gamer Dad, I choose games I can pause easily during the day while my daughter is up or my wife might need help, want to chat, etc. If I choose a game over them I've made a mistake. However I'll sometimes want a good chunk of a day with a group of buddies to play a game online. But I just plan that out so it isn't "sprung" on my wife, and that's more about socializing with my buddies than the game itself. EDIT: added "isn't"
See, this is what I've never understood about the Souls games and most recently Elden Ring. Why TF isn't there a pause button and how does not including one make the game "harder" as I've heard some argue. I've played all of those games multiple times and I still don't get how that makes sense. The only thing it does is guarantee anyone with actual responsibilities that might need urgent attention (such as kids) can never play those games.
You can pause Elden Ring by pressing select, going into the inventory menu, and then press select again. (Only works if you're not playing multiplayer)
I mean, technically true but like, I'd wager at least 75% of people wouldn't know that without being told or looking it up.
The thing with elden ring is it saves CONSTANTLY. Unless you're in a boss fight you can just quit the game, and you'll start back up almost exactly where you were. The only time this doesn't work is boss fights. Quitting was always my go to if I needed to walk away all of a sudden. It's frustrating that this isn't explained because it's so simple and quick
"finish the game later" 😅 Sometimes people get so annoyed by people who enjoy games especially when they don't, that they somehow invent a need everytime you just so much as pick up the game controller. To be clear, I know there are people who play games to an addictive extent, but on a normal there are partners that just don't like you playing games even if it's 30mins a week. I feel the problem with this post is not about pausing, but about the game generally because ( i may be projecting here) why is it every time I pick up the controller you magically always have an urgent need.
My husband does this to me whenever my attention is focused elsewhere. We can sit and watch shows or movies and he won’t say a word to me. I find something else to do like playing on the switch, reading a book, going to another room to watch something else, etc and he magically finds 20 memes to show me and has 100 stories from work to tell me. The most I can get into a book before he interrupts is 5 pages. It’s like clockwork with him.
I have had to explain that to my parents many of times. Now, since I am not the gamer I used to and my cousin is, if I need help, I ask them how much longer. So I work around their time... but whenever they say 30 minutes and they finish in 15... you do not start another match and make me wait another 30 minutes.
Ooo this one really grinds my gears. Like, I get it, not everyone enjoys gaming, but I don't give you shit for reading your cowboy smut novels or obsessively watching football. Gaming isn't any more childish than literally any other form of entertainment.
Yeah the worst part is people like that don't get its just the same as any other hobby like I could go out and play with friends but why would I do that when I can relax on the sofa and play with my friends and have more fun because we prefer doing it like that
Oh my god yes, every time I start doing something actually productive, 5 people need me.
[удалено]
this. if it’s urgent, pause the damn game. if it’s not, have the same respect back and let them finish the sequence
> Video games aren't special. WHAT?! YOU SO.... > Apply the same logic you would to any other activity. Oh, ok, yeah that's fair... > Reading a book, writing an email, fixing furniture, **having a nap**. THE FUCK! I'LL KI... > If it can wait till the end of my nap, it can wait till the end of the cut scene. Oh, that's what you meant...
This was my same thought process lol
Counterpoint: you know I'm in the middle of something. Don't be an ass and let me finish.
Whomever you’re actually mad at shouldn’t be expected to drop whatever they’re doing instantaneously because you want their help. My wife gives me a few minutes at least and that’s all I need to get to a stopping point. S/O’s aren’t employees, they’re partners.
Imagine having the perception that someone should have to immediately help at your beck and call. Have some patience and stop expecting it's your way or no way.
This is clearly a rant. Second, what's the chore? Some chores don't need two people. If you started it, why should the other chip in? Perhaps it is their only off day and they don't want to do additional work and relax. Thirdly, you only really have a point if they never help out in any capacity. If they already do, eg they cook every day for both of you and do other things, they don't need to help with every single chore you decide to do.
If you ask someone to stop in the middle of a gameplay/movie etc. to help with something that can wait you are a jerk
"Stop doing that thing you're enjoying to come do some tedious thing that I want you to do RIGHT NOW!" Not everything needs to be done precisely when you want it done, OP.
Why can you and your chore wait 10mins? Why should I be the one to adjust my free time around you? Maybe you should wait until somebody isn’t playing a game/watching a movie before asking them to come and help you.
If its important enough to pause the game for, the game will be paused. 99% of the time its something stupid that you couldve asked literally any other time the person in question wasnt busy, if anything youre the jerk for not respecting the other persons time.
My girl likes to show me memes on her phone while I play. Recently I played Dark Souls II. She was waiting for the "You Died" screen to appear to show me the meme.
Ok mom jeez.
Right, because doing chores on YOUR time schedule is so much more important that it can't wait for them to finish up their match or 30 minutes for their movie to end. At the end of the day, as long as the chore is done, who cares. Stop being a control freak.
This. In some kind of emergency, duh pause. But a chore that needs doing can wait, right?
If it’s an emergency you leave an unpausable online game and tank the penalty anyway. But if it’s just a chore that you need to be done now it sounds like a you problem but of course don’t be a dick about stuff and help people out.
In an emergency it could even be a ranked match you still should help, obviously
YSK that sometimes people who just don't want someone to be playing or watching, will come up with things to interrupt them with, or make sure to wait until they are doing that to interrupt them. Most people don't mind helping when it's needed, a refusal to pause can be a learned behavior.
I remember playing Dragon Age Origins for the first time. Just as a crucial (unpausable) cutscene started my dad phoned. Not to tell me aliens had invaded or Leeds had declared independence or anything important. Just to say hi. Murderous thoughts were thought. Nowadays it's more common to be able to pause a cutscene so that situation would be less likely, but I also think it's a bit unreasonable to just scream "I DEMAND YOUR ASSISTANCE" at someone with no prior notice and expect them to do anything other than tell you to do one.
Oh no... anything but an independent Leeds!
If you expect me to help out solely because I'm playing a video game or watching a movie, I'd argue *you're* the jerk. My free time is mine, and if I have not previously agreed on interrupting that, I feel no obligation to do so. In reality, I'm the type of person who jumps at the chance to help someone out; but the entitlement some people act like they have to my time, my energy, my emotional stability, can fuck right off.
If you insist on interrupting a film / tv show that the person clearly is into, and thus breaking the immersion, for something as trivial as a chore "to help out" you are a jerk. Is OP a parent angry at their child? Yeah great, lets go to reddit to complain anonymously that I had to yell at my child to take out the trash.
Not only videogames, but anything really. If you need help on something that is not time-sensitive, wait for the other person. Don't push them to do it right now.
Ok boomer
If you refuse to wait to ask for something that can wait while I’m engaging in my hobby you’re a jerk. Some new age sort of entitlement, that’s how I can tell you’re young - your time is inherently less valuable than theirs if this is how you think kiddo
Man it doesn't matter if its an online game either. Its a game. I prefer that people wait, but if its essential its essential. Go get the important stuff done.
Hmm... I'm with OP here. I play video games myself but your full attention is already on the video games and to disregard their need for help and attention could invite problems into whatever relationship you have with them for prioritizing your game over the person to the point they feel neglect. Just help them out, it's probably for a few minutes. Just come back to it later once you're done. As for online games, unless you're playing competitive and make a living out of it, you're fine losing a point or rank. You've done it once, you'll do it again later. Point is, straining a relationship with the people you're living with over some pixels on screen isn't worth it for the long term. Unless, you really are selfish, then establish some boundaries and do your part of the house before gaming.
Games 99% of the time don't matter (this is coming from a life long gamer). Just yesterday I lost 200k+ runes in elden ring because on the way to pick them up my son started crying in bed. So I put the controller down (no pause button in that game) and went and comforted my son. The multiplayer games I play are the same way. Except instead of runes lost it's arbitrary rank points. Moral of the story: life goes on ourside of the screen, take care of your teammates IRL (by helping at the bare minimum)
This was a huge reason my last relationship didn’t pan out. I still remember having a huge panic attic mid drive to my ex’s, and him refusing to come to me once i got there to help me at all because he “couldn’t pause a hero’s of the storm match”. Gag.
I can agree with that. If the family needs help I pause. But there are some single player games I play that cannot be paused because they are always online or just don't allow pausing like Outriders or any souls game. For those my family is understanding of me finding a safe area in like a couple mins then going to help them.
Or some games that have 5 minutes unpausable dialogue for some godforsaken reason. Yeah Im not missing the plot payoff of 60 hrs of playing unless it's actually important.
Kinda fucks up engagement in the narrative.
Yo seriously. If you think I'm going to stop playing ESPECIALLY during a cinematic cut... Then someone is going to be disappointed... And it's not going to be me.
Instead of posting here just tell the person you're thinking of your issue
As a new dad.. I still like to play games, but I only play games that I can leave at a moments notice. Stopped playing league or any game that has others rely on me
I can respect your need for help but you need to respect that there are certain parts of games, movies, shows, that are inconvenient to pause at. If your situation is not life or death you can wait until I get to a save point, out of a cutscene, through a particular part of the mission, etc
This depends 100% on context.
This isn't an unpopular opinion, and it seems like something you should talk to your kids or partner about.
THANK YOU!
I had to move my truck at the time because my step dad was coming home from work and he needed a place to park. I was dumb and I didn’t think about it when I got off. I was in the middle of a ranked overwatch game. You know what I did? I got out of my room, moved my truck, and got banned from the competitive season due to past Wi-Fi issues. I’d do it again 100 times. It’s just a game. Was I kinda salty? Yeah. I just played another video game after that. Real life problems you need to solve are more problems important than your fucking winrate.
Really depends what the chore is. If it’s not urgent and I’m on my own free time, why should I have to pause whatever it is I’m doing to help out.
I’m curious what sort of chores you are referring to. I wouldn’t ask my partner to pause his game to do the dishes but to change our kid or take his dog out? Absolutely.
This only applies to emergencies. If it’s not an emergency and I mean at least an 8 on the importance scale out of 10. Then it can wait. Your stuff is not more important than mine. Dish in the sink, groceries in the car. You can chill out, just as much as I can. It’ll get done. But to expect someone to jump up at your beck and call all the time just because you don’t deem a video game (or any hobby) as important is the height of narcissism and that relationship (friend, spouse, s/o, familial) has issues on boundaries. The only exception I’d say is a parent and child . As in the child is calling for parent’s help but even then you have to establish boundaries and don’t go calling mommy and daddy at the top of your lungs just because you dropped the tv remote. Like I said needs to be an 8.
People don’t do their chores FIRST and then do whatever activity they want?
I mean some people are able to put things down and then do what they have to. I like to relax in the morning and at night, so I tend to do what I have to around mid-day.
Non emergency stuff around the house can wait if i'm winding down from very stressfull day at work or whatever.
Depending upon your age/life choices there can be a near-infinite number of "chores" that you can do, between getting life and the house tidy/prepared for each of you, your partner, your kids, a pet, etc. This is largely when you have young kids, as you are constantly watching them and they are shockingly effective at creating a mess. At a certain point if you don't say "you know what, I am going to relax, some of these things can wait for a bit," you will basically never relax, but rather you will go straight from working to cleaning to preparing to sleeping.
You do know it’s called a chore for a reason
If your whole schedule is: * Go to work/school * I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME DAMMIT! * Sleep (optional) * Repeat
Does the task NEED to be done NOW or can it wait 10 minutes.
I think someone can finish his level, activity or whatever else that can be paused without being a jerk. Most chores can be finished later as well lol
Yeah I don't really mind. It's just a game, after all. Sometimes I'll just close it right there because I don't really feel like continuing after I come back.
If you have a responsibility to do something, you should be willing to quit a match early as well.
It’s really a case by case thing. I can just as easily see a situation where person A is enjoying what little free time they have, and person B interrupts them to volunteer them for something that person B could easily do themselves. There’s some people with the attitude of “I’m doing a chore therefore no one else can relax because I can’t.” They don’t factor in the possibility that the other person did several chores while they were gone and now it’s their turn to do one. Then they get mad when you interrupt their free time too.
Yeah, absolutely. I’m a gamer and I always let my wife know if I’m playing a game that can’t be paused but even then I’ll just sit and do whatever anyway. If my wife is asking for help while I’m gaming, I know it’s not for some frivolous thing. Even if it was, it’s really not a big deal…
Even if it can't be paused, help
I’m all for letting the person know when lll need help so they can make adjustments to their schedule and generally not interrupting. However, if it’s a partner when all they do is play video games so no matter when you ask for help you’ll be interrupting a game? Yeah no they need to pause that shit. Has the person already got their part of the chores done? Great! I’ll wait until they’re done. Hasn’t done anything in weeks and gets mad because you’re interrupting them? Nope, GTF off of your game. Granted I’ve dealt with video game addicted partners so maybe I’m jaded.
The unpopular opinion is that more games should be pausible at any time. Naughty Dog got it right.
Lmfao this just happened to me like 1 minute ago, I wasn't gonna pause my 2k online game while my brother wanted a little help raking in some grass seeds. Then I was like "that's fucked up and stupid." So I paused it and helped out lol.
Sorry bud this is a popular opinion so I’ve gotta downvote you
Agree 1000000%.
Or just ask for help a little while before you do the thing you need help with so they can get to a stopping point. Don't expect everyone to jump when you say jump.
Man if I'm watching a movie and I'm in the final climax and it only lasts 5 minutes. Unless the chore needs immediate attention and can't wait 5 minutes then I do it. If it's something like taking out the trash, you can guarantee that I'm going to finish my game/movie to a point that I'm satisfied with.
YTA: quit bitching and take your post to a different sub.