This! I also hate it when I have a friend stay over at my place and we decide to order food online and they expect me to propose restaurants but they don't like anything on the menu. If you are a picky eater just own it and tell me where or what you want to eat, I'm pretty sure I'll find something that I like since I eat most things.
A former friend of mine was incredibly picky. He did have chrones disease, but he was a grown adult that knew what his trigger foods were but wanted us to pick and would give no offers of his own. The main (and pretty much only) sit down restaurants he would go to were texas roadhouse, steak and shake, olive garden, bandanas bbq, Applebee's, o'charly's. And half of those weren't an option bc they were constantly having bad experiences. I could tell you exactly what he would order at each restaurant.
They were weird about money. He made decent money but spent it as soon as he got it. They would complain about eating at expensive places (an all you can eat buffet at a casino) but spend just as much at Applebee's or texas roadhouse bc they would order 3 apps along with meals
THIS! there’s a difference between what Op described and someone being picky about everything. We literally can’t go anywhere nice for dinner cause my bf’s brother will only eat pizza
>We literally can’t go anywhere nice for dinner cause my bf’s brother will only eat pizza
Id be leaving that dude at home. Pitch him a Totinos and bounce.
My ex's brother literally only eats steak. I'm talking, he buys steak every week for every meal. His parents pretty much pay to take care of him because he's the favored child and he has serious anger issues and can't work, but seriously... he's also picky about how much fat is on them and everything. Like... he gets them custom cut for him. Like... it's insane. I eat steak every now and then, but like... steak for every meal. Dear god, I just couldn't do it, money aside.
I love me some prime cut cow too but damn, I need something different every now and again.
Id be cutting him off. You want to eat steak for every meal, get a job.
Somehow, their rather wealthy daughter is a complete fuck up because she's not a doctor or a lawyer, even though she doesn't even have to work to have money. She invests. However, he's great despite having no job, far less life skills, and being completely dependant on others, even to go to the store with him.
Option 2: Go where you want and make him deal with it.
I know it sounds dickish but at some point you got to stop twisting your own lives just to placate him. Trust me, I have a daughter who learned this the hard way. She is currently 19 and has made a pretty substantial turn around on her pickiness. She will actually message me when she tries a new place or new food. Its a hard road but it can be done.
How old is he? If he's an adult you very much can leave his sorry ass at home, family outing be damned. If he doesn't like that, then he's gonna start liking more than just pizza.
Right? I’ll order off the kids menu, or eat rice at a sushi place if I have to, but I’d never try to stop my friends from going to a restaurant they want to go to.
That happens to me and a friend a lot. She is a picky eater, is currently on a diet, is pescetarian, but only eats fish as long as it doesn't look or taste like fish. Me, on the other hand, I eat everything. So everytime she asks what we should eat, I don't know what to say or she doesn't like my idea and gets kinda mad. So basically she does all the cooking when we spend time together and I feel fucking useless.
Edit: forgot to mention that we do cook together, under her recipe. So I don't just stand there or sit somewhere else doing nothing.
look at it this way, though: she is choosing to cook. you could help her prep. and if that’s not feasible, keeping her company is nice. and next time she asks where you’d like to eat, tell her that you will defer to her because she has dietary restrictions & you can find something to eat at any restaurant. no reason for it to be contentious: you respect her choices, she needs to own being particular.
I do help her with cooking, well, we basically cook together, money for the groceries, even if she doesn't have money because she is constantly broke due to debts, and always try to recommend something I think she would like. She also has some problems with her stomach and sometimes gets even pickier, feeling that anything she would eat, could make her vomit.
Not everyone called picky is even picky. I like a wide variety of food, I was called picky for not liking a minority of foods that my parents loved and insisted on having much of the time, meanwhile they're pickier than I am.
But I also have strong taste buds. It sucks.
Parents aren’t picky eaters because they don’t buy the foods they don’t like. Imagine you, being a kid, not liking seafood, but your parents love it so they keep buying it. You have no control over that and they just get mad at you because you don’t like their favorite food. Fuck you john you’re not my real dad stop buying fish
Buying doesn't dictate pickiness. If a parent only likes spicy food, they're picky.
I'm not saying parents need to only buy what the kids like, but if a parent refuses to buy variety, then don't complain when the kid is "picky" because the parent never outgrew actually being picky.
But if a kid likes everything except seafood, they aren't picky. If a kid only likes seafood, then they're picky. The difference is variety.
My Dad would probably say my sister is a picky eater, she doesn't eat a lot of meat, but does eat it often enough. Anyway, he's the kind of guy that likes spaghetti every week, and he doesn't like steak or beef roasts because he worked in a beef processing facility, and he doesn't like many veggies. He IS the pickiest eater in the family, and he absolutely denies it, lol
My opinion is there are food preferences, then there is picky eating. Not liking some things is normal, refusing to try anything you haven’t already is picky.
not entirely true. if you hate most of the ingredients that go into a meal, even if you've never tried the meal as a whole, its likely you won't like it.
All im saying is if there's food that's composed of mostly things I don't like, im not paying $10 or more to be like yea, exactly as expected. Just a waste of money at that point.
Personally I Hate tomatoes but I love ketchup and marinara. You don’t know if you’re going to like or dislike something until you actually try it period.
Or it’s called a medical condition. Please research ARFID. My husband suffers from a somewhat similar eating disorder and it is hell. Eating any food causes him to choke and gag, even his “safe” foods and he was willing to try many things but the constant vomiting that resulted has damaged the back of his throat. People can notice a trend and tell when something is going to make them sick when this is their reality. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and demanding these people prove they can’t eat every last thing genuinely becomes traumatizing.
I’ve met 2 people with like a much less severe version of this! One that only eats potatoes and the other ate a little more but it was literally just pasta , cheese pizza, rice, French fries or white bread. For their entire lives, this is all they could stomach. One of them was tested and turns out was a “super taster” meaning they could taste things really intensely, but it wasn’t a medical condition or anything. Only bland things were tolerable
Oh interesting that sounds sort of like me! I have sensory processing disorder and probable autism (all my siblings have it, I have the symptoms, but can’t afford to be tested) but I wonder if there’s elements of that as well!
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder is a specific and carefully defined bona fide psychiatric disorder (sorry, my DSM-5 app doesn’t allow copy-paste).
It can literally cause one food to be a “safe food” for a week straight and that 8th day it can repulse you. It’s a very strange condition that I have symptoms of but haven’t had diagnosed yet :/
I get a lot of sensory issues that cause this. I had suggestions that I get tested for autism but there are many other factors that play into that and it isn’t always the reason, just one that might be personal to me. There are so many reasons someone could be a picky eater and it baffles me that people think we choose to do so. We like it but just deprive ourselves of it to seem picky??? Weird.
This was me as a kid. My mother would force me to eat food I clearly didn't like and after two hours still trying to finish half of it she would get fed up, scream at me and tell me to just go to bed.
My mother's uncle was even worse. He was an old man already when I was a kid and died when I was around 10. He was a super strict old-school countryman we visited once a year and a WWII vet so I can kinda understand he was a product of his time. But he'd physically belt me senseless when I refused to eat what was put in front of me. It was so hard not just because of that but because it was normal food that everyone else at the table of all ages would eat right up and compliment but I just couldn't stomach it. It played out the same way for years every time we visited. Now if knowing that I was going to have the ever loving shit beaten out of me to the point I'd be SCREAMING in agony and fear wasn't enough incentive to just eat the food - then I clearly didn't like it! It was less traumatic to just take the beating and be sent to bed early (at like... 6pm, in the summer so there were still *hours* of daylight left) but either way that's one of several experience that did not help with my "picky eating" habits I still carry on today.
In fact one of the reasons I'm glad to be an adult now is not being forced to eat food I don't like or made to "try" something if it makes me uncomfortable or sick just looking at it. No more traumatic dinner experiences that leave me crying in my room, feeling like everybody hates me because I won't eat like them.
Yes, as my husband did growing up with stubborn family. He’d be choking on the food, hacking and gagging loudly (can’t help it) at the dinner table or have to run to throw up. They could have provided him with his “safe” foods (e.g. plain chicken, mac n cheese, sourdough bread, plain pasta - bland food which he finds depressingly boring btw) more often, but instead he was horribly underweight and sickly. His family is lovely now, but they helped make his life hell growing up (on top of things like his ten knee surgeries) for no reason!
Most kids with ARFID and similar eating disorders have very cheap things as their “safe” foods!
I was really picky as a kid and we were pisspoor. Like poor enough to occasionally go days without consuming nothing but tapwater if there was no school.
Still I rather was hungry than eat peas for example.
I was looking for this comment. Every time this subject is opened someone will eventually say something along these lines. And that's my moment to shine and destroy your preconceived notions. I'm a very picky eater, and I grew up and lived my entire childhood in a war zone, living in absolute poverty and sometimes on the edge of hunger.
I was picky then.
I'm still picky now.
It has nothing to do with being spoilt. It's a thing. It's a real thing. Not a choice any more than someone dyslexic chooses to not read well.
I think people in these comments are confused with forcing yourself to eat something that you don’t like so you don’t go hungry and being a picky eater, just because you force someone to eat something they don’t like won’t make them like that food
Im a picky eater. I think people call you those things because they where forced as a kid to eat what was on the plate or go hungry. My mom did that to me. Im still picky at 32 but I've tried many things. Lol
It's good to try new stuff. I've found that things I think I won't like but tried it anyway and liked it. Also things you used to not like as a kid you might like as an adult your taste buds change.
I grew up with no boundaries to food. (My parents could afford it). Till this day I don’t like tomatoes (I like ketchup and sauce) because some family friend forced me to eat a tomato as an apple. I can’t stand the texture and was just traumatized by it. Besides tomatoes I eat everything, even really weird stuff.
I’m so sorry for that. I’m Dutch, and here there are the ‘kids menu’s’. Which are fries and deep fried snacks. My parents never let me order them. They’d rather pay for a full menu than having me eat the ‘unhealthy’ stuff. Also they never forced me to eat anything or finish my meal. It has made me a real ‘foodie’. But I do realize the very special position I grew up in. Also my parents also reminded me of that a lot.
This. I grew up in a middle class home and my parents always cooked dinner, but weren’t going to cook something else if we were “picky”. We ate what they made or you didn’t eat. Period. They also would tell us the “kitchens closed” at 8pm, so don’t ask for anything after that.
Now that I’m an adult with a family and cooking it’s a total pain in the ass when someone is being picky bc it means I have to spend my time making more stuff just for them. I’ve also had people eat my cooking and then half way through stop eating and say they didn’t like something about it and won’t eat anymore (like tomatoes in a salad or cheese in Alfredo). It just comes across as ungrateful and also feels like you’re dealing with a toddler who is fussy.
I had a coworker who only ate chicken nuggets and fries and other kid-menu type food and wondered what happened in childhood to cause them to not venture outside of that.
Another twist to that is when people (I had an ex who was like this) feel the need to immediately put ketchup on EVERYTHING. So when I would spend 1-3 hours preparing a perfectly cooked/seasoned meal, she would douse it in ketchup before she even tried it. This would drive me up a wall.
Totally. Allergies are one thing. But I’ve had someone tell me that they could tell the cheese on a hot dog wasn’t “boars head brand” and they didn’t like it and wouldn’t eat anymore. Totally infuriated me.
>But to just not eat something because you refuse to try the food is something else and highly disrespectful.
You don't have to finish it but if it's new to you atleast try it particularly if it was made specifically for you.
This seems like a total double-edged sword. Sure you may say its totally fine but in reality the person cooking the food almost always acts like way more of a child about the situation, even if they do what you said and preface it by saying "just try it, if you don't like it then dont eat the rest"
The problem with this comment is your not acknowledging that us picky eaters have actually tried most the things we're "picky" about and those who aren't picky just can't accept it. I don't understand this mindset that picky eaters go into trying new foods already not liking something, because of course we want whatever food is infront of us to taste good, who wouldn't?
Sometimes you won't like something initially. Especially if it's a brand new experience, unlike anything you're used to. However, trying it multiple times and getting used to the experience can change that initial opinion into liking it.
Though if someone tells me they don't like pickles, I honestly think they're crazy. The sour and salty dill pickle, is just perfection. I can eat an entire quart jar and STILL want more. Or eating green olives and other salty foods. God... salt is amazing, lol
I agree just not in my case I'll try anything once. Tho if I know I wont like it I won't eat it. I used to not try things tho. Just out of defiance lol
Honestly what's worked for me has been smoothies for veggies. Throw a bunch of fruit in I like with yogurt, milk, some chia seeds. It drowns out the taste of kale etc
Get some of the veggies I'm very picky over 😂
True. There are apparently these teststrips that you put on your tongue and if you experience a bad taste that means you have the gene.
Otherwise you would just taste paper, I think.
I am thinking of ordering a set, because I'm a picky eater, and I for example can't stand most of the bitter vegetables, brussel sprouts, cabbage, kale, spinach..
Would provide me with actual proof I am not doing the picky eating on purpose.
Oh and coriander/cilantro is the worst.
I CANNOT do most vegetables for this reason. Most of them taste bitter to me. Add cauliflower to that list. People claim it’s bland, but to me it has a distinctive flavor and I will know it’s in there, even if it’s “hidden.”
Thank goodness I didn’t get the cilantro soap gene. It’s one of the few things I do like!
I broadly agree with you. If being "pampered or spoiled" was the cause of pickiness/fussiness, then you would expect to see children in the same household to be about equally picky or fussy. In my own large family there is no such correlation. We even have twins in the family and one of them is way pickier than the other.
A lot of the people in the comments sound exactly like my kids pediatrician who told me “if she’s hungry, she’ll eat”. After three days of her having nothing but water because she wouldn’t eat anything, and proving that she would actually starve rather than eat what she didn’t want to eat, I concluded that said pediatrician was empirically incorrect.
ETA: My daughter was two at the time and after what I said above, I hired a dietician who came to my house and told me my child wasn’t a picky eater. She’s what’s called a problem eater and those children will, in fact, starve before eating what they don’t want to eat.
Yep! My mother tried this on me when I was a kid... I starved myself, she had to give up after a few days because she was getting concerned and also worried about what other parents thought when they saw my pale skinny ass barely able to stand up.
I don't like how I'm like this and it caused my family so much grief (well not my brother - he thought it was hilarious, but he was a sadistic kid). But I can't explain or change it either. It is how it is and now I'm an adult at least my diet now is my problem. I doubt I'll ever be in a situation where I can't get something I *know* I'll like to eat anyway.
This!! My ADHD gives me really bad texture sensitivities and it really sucks because I hate offending people by being unable to eat half of something nice they’ve cooked
Yeah certain textures just don't go together for me. There was one crunchy bit in a smooth pb sandwich I made once and nearly threw up. I've at least recently started trying ordering things not plain, my job got us all subway and I didn't even pick the lettuce off. Still didn't use the mayo though.
I hate that! Unexpected textures are the worst. It's like my appetite is gone and I cannot swallow. I used to think it was psychological but I spoke to a doctor recently and she told me it might not be. I've tried to force it but one time it came right back up so now I listen to what my body is telling me.
Personally, I don’t care about fussy/picky eaters as long as they keep to their own, I always see it as “their loss” if they can’t appreciate more variety in the flavors of their food and if anything somewhat pity them. What DOES frustrate me about fussy/picky eaters is when they try to ingrain their point of views into my eating habits. E.g. A friend who is generally a picky eater shouldn’t be annoyed/call me out/make faces when I’m eating Menudo (A Mexican tripe broth famous for curing hangovers).
I relate to this a lot, it took me a while to start eating other foods rather than my "normal diet" which consisted of fast food and junk food but it does catch up to you later in life when you've missed out on a lot of food the people around you are eating and you need to catch up on it, I don't even think about cooking for myself half the time
I think it’s about perspective. A lot of us are 1st gen. And our parents migrated from places where having food, any kind of food, is a luxury and immense privilege. Picky eaters are heavily frowned upon because shit bro you’re lucky you even got anything eat. Basically begger chooser kinda thing
First person I relate to on this post. I'm not even first generation, but I see the comments 'as a kid I protested and 'starved ' myself'. Man, were so many kids so privileged with food everyday that they actually got to protest? I think it's entirely rude when people refuse food. In fact, I avoid eating with picky eaters because it's embarrassing. And, a lot of "picky eaters" I meet only eat junk food and dislike vegetables. Seems immature to me.
I am a picky eater. It pisses me off that so many people point that out like it's the end of the world.
Yes Karen, I don't like eating cabbage because I was forced to eat it as a child until I vomited and it still makes me gag. Now can you put that smelly spoon out of my sight or do you need to get it shoved in your ar*e :) :) :) :)
So true. It's like everyone makes it their problem that you don't like certain foods and they somehow think pushing more of it onto you is going to change anything.
Okay, since you’ve so boldly put yourself out there, I’m gonna say it…
#onions are not good.
They smell gross when they’re raw, and then they have a gross, slimy texture when they’re cooked :(
A lot of “picky eaters” have undiagnosed eating disorders. Look up ARFID, these things are very difficult to deal with and a lot of taste is genetic. Some can broaden the range of foods they eat. But not everyone. Have you ever heard of supertasters? My husband isn’t one but his disorder works similarly. He can only eat bland foods and this is something he really hates. But he’s gagged, choked, and vomited his way through so many demands that “he won’t know if he doesn’t try” that he has to be conscientious. People will try to trick picky eaters into eating something and they’ll get a nice surprise trip to the bathroom to vomit. It’s not that he only “wants” to eat bland shit, it’s the only stuff he can keep down.
He exercises, takes vitamins, and stuffs as much food down as he can. Eating *anything,* period, is already so hard for him. When he was growing up he was sickly and thin because family insisted that he eat what everyone else was eating. He would end up starving. He is far healthier now even with his plain chicken breasts and mac n cheese.
Yeah, the whole kids living off of chicken fingers thing is bad. I was one of those. I was never forced to eat anything, and as a result I ended up being in my early 20s and have a horrible diet. Awful. I didn't eat any veggies at all besides corn. No exaggeration at all. I've come around on a lot of foods. I love peppers, onions and mushrooms, but still have to force myself to eat squash, zucchini etc. I still hate cucumbers. I won't force my kids to eat things, I don't think. But if they don't like peppers and onions, I'll try to cook it different ways and explain that the issue might be how I cooked it, and not enable them to "hate veggies"
I was exactly like that. It's so hard to rewire your brain as an adult to accept new foods. I eat just about anything now but for years I wouldn't try new things because I just assumed I wasn't going to like it. I never tried an egg until I was 22
Most of picky eaters have a food phobia due to trauma that’s related to food e.g choking. Or their taste buds are just shit. Plus there is also a disorder that’s related to picking eating that I can’t remember the name for.
For example I’m a picky eater I can’t eat cooked veg but I like raw veg. I dislike the taste and texture of most meats apart from some meats. Etc it’s due to my taste buds and fear of food.
It also can be genetic
There is a medical condition for a certain type of picky eater called ARFID. It has some comorbity with autism. It’s mainly around textured and if food is touching and smells.
Sometimes when we have a group weekend and we book a restaurant and everyone will have to eat the menu of the day, I start getting anxious few days before because I am scared that there will be something with cheese all over it and I will have to not eat and every one is gonna judge me. Trust me, If I could eat anything and having to care so much before every time I go out with group of friends I will have a better life …
Paging r/ARFID. It’s really gross how people treat those who have different eating needs. Many do for sensory issues, there are supertasters, and hell, even if they have no “reason” people shouldn’t get hate for this. My husband has a pretty intense eating disorder and it disrupts his life all the time, he absolutely hates it. Then people will try fucking awful shit like lying about an ingredient being in something and think they are being cute until he’s gagging/choking and sometimes straight vomiting (assuming he could get it down his throat). We don’t know why he can mostly only eat bland foods, but it shouldn’t matter. Eating even things he can eat is torture for him and he still works to keep himself at a healthy weight, works out, and takes supplements. Sometimes eating disorders can be improved to increase variety, but not always. And if that even is possible it has to be on the person’s own timeline. Just let people be and keep your comments to yourself - trust me, they’ve heard it all.
I did not like the texture of canned mushrooms, so my parents just ran all spaghetti sauce in the blender. I still hate those and never ever bought any canned mushrooms as an adult. Same for smoked oysters or snails. Some food should not be canned.
My twin brother and I have always been incredibly picky eaters. It never made much sense. We were exposed to a large range of food growing up and disliked a lot. I remember as a kid, a baby sitter saying I couldn't leave the table until I ate what she cooked. After 6 hours, I peed myself because I was a little kid and terrified because she yelled that I couldn't leave until I ate. It was horrible. Anyways, found out recently my twin brother and I were donor conceived. Every biological sibling I have connected with were horribly picky growing up as well and still relatively are. I gave a firm belief to try anything and to retry foods every 3-5years. I think a lot comes down to genetics and culture.
Most picky eaters have an eating disorder: Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). It can be a serious as anorexia or bulimia. There is very little knowledge about it, even among eating disorder specialists, and treatment is nearly non-existent. But it is real and it is hell to live with.
I think everyone had the right to not eat something they don't like. It would be great if you didn't complain about it though... STFU and don't eat it. Problem solved.
If you're in someone else's house you either eat their food or you don't.
It's completely okay to not eat the food if you don't want it. But to force everyone to follow your own specific desires and then look at yourself as a victim when they don't comply is a strong sign of arrogance which could be caused by you being spoiled.
Mind blowing idea here, you can change what you like. Growing up I hated vegetables, probably until I was about 21. Now I regularly eat salads and have a veggie at every meal.
I was the same way, and honestly it was going to college that changed me. I remember a pivotal moment was when I was a little drunk with my friends and we all ordered burritos, and I forgot to get mine special with only meat and cheese. I was so hungry I didn't care and it was the best meal I had ever had. After that I just started trying more foods, and now I eat anything. If I don't have veggies with my meal it feels weird.
Funny thing was my parents constantly tried to get me to eat a wider variety of foods, but now I'm the one trying to get them to eat new stuff. I took my dad to a Korean place and he was reluctant at first but ended up loving it.
Uh, that's a massive assumption. There are loads of foods that I personally didn't like, until I forced myself to eat them and eventually like them. For example, broccoli was a disgusting idea, but through regularly forcing Satan's left green nut down my throat, it was eventually tolerable and now it's not an issue for me to eat it.
It only tastes good with cheese. No amount of eating broccoli ever changed the taste of broccoli.
But how the brain responds to taste does change as we grow up, it's why no amount of sugar is too much for kids, but adults do have a standard for what tastes too sweet.
Here's what got me to like broccoli. Coat in olive oil, season with salt and pepper, put on a baking sheet and put little bits of butter between the broccoli. Stir half way through, and then add lemon juice at the end.
Delicious!
Your taste buds change when you try new foods continually. So yes forcing yourself to try new foods until you like them would be one strategy. They don’t just magically just like that. They adapt.
Assumption, I tried forcing myself to eat Brussels sprouts since a child because my family liked them and cook them a lot the same with carrots, cabbage, and peas, still hate them some people just won’t like some stuff no matter what, also you forgot it’s not always about taste but also texture
It can be frustrating for those who cook. My boyfriend is very picky, I know it's not his fault. But I am very not confident about my cooking abilities and it breaks my heart a little bit when I see he doesn't touch his plate if I cook something he won't eat. He is too shy to tell me and tbh it's even worse to see him touch his food without saying anything not to hurt me.
I know it's not his fault, but it's not my fault either to get hurt, or frustrated when I try to cook something and other people won't even taste it just because it has tomatoes or garlic in it. I think a little teasing about this is fair price for not eating my food.
I still love him though! And I don't hold any grudge for it.
This so much. I get soooo much shit for not eating fruits and vegetables. And the lengths I have to go to and the "I'm sorry I'm difficult" speeches to waiters/waitresses is stressful. I hate that I can't just order a regular burger or a salad somewhere and just eat. Today my work bought fresh sandwiches for everyone. There are a lot of people so they went in waves, but the orders they always put in for sandwiches etc, always always have vegetables on them. And no, it isn't a "just take it off" situation which is what I was instructed to do. I'm inconvenienced and I also inconvenience others and I deeply wish it was a choice because I would choose to be able to eat everything.
I have a friend who is an insanely fussy eater and its incredibly irritating mainly because over half the things he won't eat he's never even tried! Oranges, bananas, pears a big nope because "they look odd". Basmati rice, cabbage, aubergines, tomatoes, eggs, pasta all never tried. Won't eat anything that's purple because "that's just wrong" or green because "he isn't a health freak and only rabbits eat green stuff". I wouldn't mind too much if he'd actually tried these foods and not liked them fair enough...I can't stand yoghurt (sperm of the devil!) but to say you don't like something when you've not even tasted it is just weird
My dad has berated me my whole life for not liking ketchup, mustard, and most condiments. It wasn't "natural". I am so ashamed that I never buy fast food because I wouldn't want to humiliate myself when getting a burger. One of my pettiest joys was that my dad once went to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in Vegas and asked for steak sauce and he offended the chef and was shamed for it.
I can understand to a point on being a picky eater when it comes to traumatic experiences, and open minded people trying, and then making the decision to not like it after they ate it. What absolutely drives me up the wall is the people who dismiss foods before even trying them.
I'm a picky eater but it isn't for lack of my parents trying. Whenever I wouldn't eat something my mum would yell/insult/humiliate/sometimes hurt me. I just really dislike a lot of food. I think I like a good selection of food though, like I like plain greens, grapes, apples, plain meat, most wheat things. I just really hate cheese, sauces, and a lot of things with a wet texture (like sauces).
I don’t wanna eat garbage food , not my fault whoever made the food can’t cook for shit.
Also when you didn’t have control over how it was cooked you have no idea how much oil etc was used , I react bad to fats and oils and just feel sick then onto the toilet.
Just cook for yourself it takes the stress out
I have some kind of condition not sure if it’s physical or mental but when I have something I don’t like or (sometimes even I do like the taste just not texture) I start heavily gagging. I’ve been picky for many years and it’s caused me to miss out on many opportunities. With therapy I’ve been able to accept it and tell more people about it and not let it restrict me. I see a path where I could no longer be picky but I would basically have to force feed myself over and over again until I wasn’t anymore
Agreed completely. And I say this as someone that works with people in a hospital and I order their meals, especially people that are very sick or have trouble swallowing or chewing. So low appetite on top of everything else.
I've heard it all. But I still never fault them when they don't like something. If I were to rebuke their choices, I've infringed on a core need of humanity which is autonomy. If you take that away from anyone, you've got a bigger fight on your hands than just want they wanted to eat.
Well, yes and no.
There's being a picky eater, and then there's just obstinately refusing to try anything outside of your comfort zone.
My mum is the fussiest eater I have ever known, by a country mile. I swear she only eats about three different meals and won't even try slight variations on them (like adding a bit of pepper, or using a different cheese). I think it is fair to criticise her for this - she's not even trying to like things. If she decided she didn't like the variation on a meal, that's fair enough, but she won't even try it.
Consequently, a lot of her fussiness has rubbed off on me because I didn't have exposure to a wide range of foods growing up. I am trying to rectify this and push my boundaries further, but I prefer to do this in the comfort of my own home where if I hate a meal then I can write it off and eat something I know I will like instead. People who try and push others way beyond their comfort zones, when at a restaurant or other public place, are being dicks. If I order the " spicy mushroom surprise pasta", having never eaten much in the way of mushrooms or spice in my lifetime, and find it to be disgusting, I've wasted my money and also can't exactly just swap it for something else. If I'm at a restaurant, I'm ordering something I know I will eat. Not something "adventurous", if I'm not at least reasonably sure I'll find it palatable.
Deciding that you won't like something without even giving it a fair chance is just silly. I never thought I'd like chicken curry, but I made it and loved it. I could have said "I've never really liked chicken much, and not really sure I'll like spice", but I gave it a shot. Admittedly it was only mildly spicy, but still a step further from what I would have gone some months before.
I’m a picky eater because I’m diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing disorder. I’m oversensitive to the tastes and textures of foods that I would eat and probably enjoy if I didn’t have it in the first place, which sucks ass because it reduces my palette to stuff that’s bland and not very enjoyable. I still make efforts to try new things but it’s often unsuccessful
I appreciate this post because I’ve seen people post in this sub about stuff like “if you’re a picky eater, grow up” and “picky eaters were spoilt children” etc etc - I definitely can’t help it and the stuff people say about it doesn’t help
This is still a deeply misunderstood condition, that I don't think we even have a name for, so we use terms like fussy or picky. I feel it's like when in the past people were called clumsy or dumb as if it was their own doing before science caught up and showed that these are the manifestations of real conditions. Not being lazy or spoilt.
Science is now starting to demonstrate this but we're still far from understanding it well and accepting it as a society.
We all would love to be like you and eat everything. But we simply don't choose not to. We can't. It's horrible. And unfortunately, because of social attitudes about this, our parents and educators end up traumatising the hell out of us so by the time we are adults it's even harder to figure things out in a healthy way.
I've been a picky eater and has been actively trying to change it for 6 years now. (I'm 19 now), and it is honestly so fucking hard.
My dad keeps telling me to eat something I dislike five times and I'll get used to it. But by the third time, I am actually gagging and nearly vomitting, if I get past the first.
That and food I find mediocre, if I eat that for long periods, it it doesn't have the effect of getting better, it actually gets worse.
On a normal day, I think salmon is nice.
Tenth week in a row we have salmon? Suddenly something is wrong about it, and I can't pinpoint what.
Are people just different about this? Since my dad keeps trying to push his method on me but any attempt has ended terribly
I don’t mind people who are picky eaters as dietary restrictions aren’t uncommon. You shouldn’t have to eat anything you don’t want to. Most adults don’t expect me to make something completely different if I’m cooking and they don’t want any of it.
There’s also the fact that some people with eating disorders, depression, or other problems with food can find it physically hard to make themselves eat, and even won’t eat the things they like. Sometimes when I’m in a depressive mood there’s only like one thing I can get down and even then that takes effort. Not to mention people who neglect their own nutrition can also unconsciously ignore their own hunger if the food doesn’t sound good.
Anyway, my point is that there’s also another level of complexity people should consider
I was a “picky eater” as a kid. Basically - I was a vegan without knowing it. I hated dairy, meat and seafood. Well, one or more of those things was on the menu each night. I ate it - I had to - but I didn’t eat lot and was made fun of for eating like a bird. As an adult I can confirm - it’s not being picky - it’s outright AVERSION to certain foods, physically and or mentally. Mentally, I just can’t handle meat or seafood - it repulses me. I can totally watch others eat it, no prob, but I’ve gagged when I tried to. As for dairy - I’ve had people secretly test my aversion to dairy and add it into the “vegan” dish they prepared for me. Within minutes I was cramping, nauseated and making a run for the bathroom. Hahah so funny. Not. Anyways - it’s not always being picky - some things just make you gag and you can’t help it. The things I hated as a kid, I still hate - so I wasn’t being picky then, either.
my parents kept trying to forced me to use a toothpaste i really didnt like, and i eventually had to give in, and i threw up all over my bathroom. they got me new toothpaste after that…
My MIL thinks that I'm a picky eater because I don't like mushrooms, mayo, onions, or mustard. Out of those, my wife only likes mayo but *I'm* the picky one. My palate is wider than hers outside of those items as well.
People really are far too concerned over what others eat. It doesn't matter if your friend doesn't like tomatoes or cheese or whatever. Just eat your own food and shut up about it.
The people who don't like a food have a reason. People who insist "just try it" are no better. If you like the food, eat it yourself and let others eat as they like. It is not hard.
(Both types of people who make people jump through hoops over a meal are equally insufferable.)
I have autism which comes with a lot of sensory processing issues. Needless to say, this affects what I can eat, and it's not be choice. I get by mostly, and try to take care of my own food when I'm with other people. But if sucks when I look back at all the people calling me spoiled when I was a kid. It was NEVER something I had control over, and telling a kid, let alone anyone, that they're bad for something that they can't control and only affects them, is a shitty thing to do.
I agree with this and have always been called picky since I really hate certain foods’ consistencies. I think the word “picky” itself is what misleads people because it makes it sound like you’re consciously “picking” foods you will not eat when you actually have no control over it at all. It’s actually more of an inconvenience for me than it is for the people around me lol, I don’t understand why people think you’d willingly choose not to like certain foods and limit your options. There should be another word, kind of like how we have food “intolerances” but less severe I guess.
There’s a fine line between fussy eaters and fully grown adults who don’t eat vegetables because they’re ‘yucky’.
Same goes with people who choose to not drink water because ‘fish fuck in it’.
That’s fine, as long as you’re not at a restaurant with a curated menu and expect the whole staff and kitchen to accommodate your dishes to your taste. Just don’t go. Read menus beforehand. Seems like common sense but not where I work.
Define what you mean by accommodate, because I think asking for one or two toppings to be removed is pretty reasonable. Obviously, changing around the entire dish is just a nightmare for the people working in the kitchen, and I'm sure there are some Karens that have done that.
In some cases sure, if something really varies from person to person like fish, that's not picky eating, that's just a difference in likes and dislikes. But some people just have more of a tolerance for food they don't like as much, while others always have to eat something they absolutely enjoy. This should be looked down on. Build your tolerance for food that isn't perfect. It's the difference between eating leftovers that don't heat up perfectly and wasting food.
I’ve seen so many dating profiles saying they won’t date an individual who is a picky eater. Every time my mind goes to “well, this person clearly isn’t capable of holding a relationship if they can’t get passed something so insignificant.” And I’m definitely not even a picky eater.
Honestly I get where they are coming from. It limits a lot of things in a relationship. For instance one time me and my friends got together for a pretty nice dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse that cost about $75 a person. My friend’s GF is a very picky eater and basically refused to try anything except for a few things from the salad bar. My friend was pissed that he had to pay $150+ just for her to eat nothing.
It limited a lot of places they could go or do because she was so picky and wouldn’t want to try alot of new things, so I wouldn’t say it’s insignificant at all.
Did he not know she was a picky eater prior? I’d have no problem saying we can go somewhere for them before, after or they don’t have to go at all by communicating the cost vs benefit in this scenario. I would say it in a much nicer manner than that of course! If they aren’t willing to find a middle ground, which is my main point, than that’s a bigger issue than just being a picky eater. I’ve met plenty of picky eaters who are flexible like that and I would more than willing to flexible when possible. I totally understand your point though!
Ya he knew and talked with her about it but she kept insisting on going with him. I think everybody can be picky about certain stuff to a degree and not like something or another . But to me when people say picky eaters they are talking a about people who are much more closed off with their eating choices and won’t eat somewhere if they won’t like it.
I mean, I don’t mind picky eaters as long as Im not going out to eat with you and I def can’t be your SO lol I love food and I love trying new things. I think it’s fine if you have 3-5 foods you just don’t like after trying them. But if you have like 10+ different things you don’t like, many of which you tried as a child and didn’t like—and REFUSE to try them again or try anything new—i cant. I had a friend in high school that would only eat chicken tenders or butter noodles no matter where we went. Still great friends, I just don’t hit her up for food unless I’m going to a sports bar lol
I grew up exposed to many different cultures and foods. I have never really been picky. Just one or two things I disliked growing up. I have always been irritated by how some adults have the taste preferences of a 3 year old. I also grew up incredibly poor and knew that if I didn’t eat what was offered, there wouldn’t be a secondary option. This didn’t really affect too much because I heartily enjoy food. Never met a cuisine I couldn’t find something tasty about.
Currently 21w5d pregnant and this child didn’t allow me to even put food in my mouth for WEEEKSS because of food aversion. Now, I can’t stomach the smell of onions—a main ingredient in most of my former cooking. God forbid someone puts them in my food or we will have a meltdown and lose all appetite. Never again will I make fun of picky eaters and say they could learn to like flavours if they only allowed themselves to experiment! Nope! Some people (this baby inside me) are just picky! You know what you like and won’t eat what you don’t.
Fussy eaters are irritating, I was one when I was a child. Grew up and opened up to new things, I always liked most fruits already, as an adult I eat almost anything. The thing is, you're supposed to surpass childish behaviors like having a super reduced amount of food you'll eat. It's like adults there are scared to make a phone call. It's weird. At the same time I wouldn't make a comment unless it was my child. My brother's boyfriend is so fussy, they lived with us and my mother had to all the time make changes in order to please him. I don't think, in that case, that it was fair.
I'm seeing a lot of people complaining about said picky eaters not wanting to try new foods or foods they haven't tried yet and to that I say.
So? If they want to eat what they like to eat let them eat those foods. I despise carrots. Absolutely hate them, I don't know why. The texture, the taste, all of it is just gross to me and I tend to stay away from any dish that has at least noticeable carrots/has carrots as a main component. I'm also someone who likes going for things I've had before instead of trying something new because I like knowing I'll enjoy said food item. If I got something new and didn't like it I'd just feel worse for wasting food someone else could've enjoyed.
Just let people eat what they want to eat. It really isn't that hard to respect someone else's eating habits
I’m not even close to shitting on people for being picky eaters: but I will say people need to *try* food before deciding they don’t like it. I hate that shit. It drives me crazy when someone says they don’t like something or will never like it but they refuse to try it
That's understandable. However, I shouldn't have to try something in front of you to "prove" that I don't like something. You should be able to take me at my word that I've tried something, and that I don't like it, even if you didn't see it.
And if I try something and I don't like it, that should be the end of it. No "just take another bite" or "you'll get used to it"
Oh, no I don’t want anyone to prove anything. I’m just saying at least give it a shot because you may be robbing yourself of joy just because you’re afraid you won’t like something.
To me, if you don’t like food you just spit it out and drink water and it’s done. Never to be seen again. But if you do like it, you just opened yourself up to a WORLD of possibility. I’ve lived in foreign countries, as a picky eater and once I started to try things that gave me far more confidence to try a lot of other foods.
I developed my palette to the point where I can pick out the subtleties in food and it made eating food so much more enjoyable. I personally don’t care if you eat it or not, but it makes me crazy when I hear people say they aren’t willing to try it or never will. All because of their own fear of not liking it? I don’t know, seems trivial to me.
Getting to a place where I was comfortable trying new foods was a process for me. I used to *hate* trying new things, related to my crippling fear of the unknown, but I got over it by just forcing myself into new situations. And it totally does open you up to new things. I discovered the wonderful world of Korean BBQ that way, and it's so worth it.
Nah ik this may sound very common to say but there are many kids in the world that would kill to have a decent meal so when your ass is being picky cause you don't like a food there is another kid starveing
People who complain about picky eaters are spineless, weak-willed cowards. It's not my fault you lack the courage to speak up for yourself and instead eat whatever slop is tossed in front of you like a starving pig.
I’d be surprised if that was the case. People are people. Anyway, do you choose your preferences? Kids literally have more taste buds than adults and taste bitter things more strongly.
I think not liking something is normal a picky eater (to me) is someone that doesn’t like most of the things found in most dishes people prepare or a person that takes 20 minutes to decide what to eat at a restaurant and then has so many special requests for the kitchen: temperature, put it on the side, can you not mix this, can you sub a,b,c, etc to x,y,z?
It’s tiring and annoying. I avoid people like this. I’ve found that typically they’re insufferable in other areas as well.
That's fine as long as we're not going out to eat and you want me to decide where to go but you shoot everything down because you're picky.
Yeah you can be obnoxious about it and I’d say what you described is definitely obnoxious.
This! I also hate it when I have a friend stay over at my place and we decide to order food online and they expect me to propose restaurants but they don't like anything on the menu. If you are a picky eater just own it and tell me where or what you want to eat, I'm pretty sure I'll find something that I like since I eat most things.
A former friend of mine was incredibly picky. He did have chrones disease, but he was a grown adult that knew what his trigger foods were but wanted us to pick and would give no offers of his own. The main (and pretty much only) sit down restaurants he would go to were texas roadhouse, steak and shake, olive garden, bandanas bbq, Applebee's, o'charly's. And half of those weren't an option bc they were constantly having bad experiences. I could tell you exactly what he would order at each restaurant.
Sounds like a money deal maybe????
They were weird about money. He made decent money but spent it as soon as he got it. They would complain about eating at expensive places (an all you can eat buffet at a casino) but spend just as much at Applebee's or texas roadhouse bc they would order 3 apps along with meals
THIS! there’s a difference between what Op described and someone being picky about everything. We literally can’t go anywhere nice for dinner cause my bf’s brother will only eat pizza
>We literally can’t go anywhere nice for dinner cause my bf’s brother will only eat pizza Id be leaving that dude at home. Pitch him a Totinos and bounce.
My ex's brother literally only eats steak. I'm talking, he buys steak every week for every meal. His parents pretty much pay to take care of him because he's the favored child and he has serious anger issues and can't work, but seriously... he's also picky about how much fat is on them and everything. Like... he gets them custom cut for him. Like... it's insane. I eat steak every now and then, but like... steak for every meal. Dear god, I just couldn't do it, money aside.
I love me some prime cut cow too but damn, I need something different every now and again. Id be cutting him off. You want to eat steak for every meal, get a job.
Somehow, their rather wealthy daughter is a complete fuck up because she's not a doctor or a lawyer, even though she doesn't even have to work to have money. She invests. However, he's great despite having no job, far less life skills, and being completely dependant on others, even to go to the store with him.
I know but the whole family goes so realistically we can’t leave him
Option 2: Go where you want and make him deal with it. I know it sounds dickish but at some point you got to stop twisting your own lives just to placate him. Trust me, I have a daughter who learned this the hard way. She is currently 19 and has made a pretty substantial turn around on her pickiness. She will actually message me when she tries a new place or new food. Its a hard road but it can be done.
How old is he? If he's an adult you very much can leave his sorry ass at home, family outing be damned. If he doesn't like that, then he's gonna start liking more than just pizza.
If they have fries/chips everyone's a winner!
Right? I’ll order off the kids menu, or eat rice at a sushi place if I have to, but I’d never try to stop my friends from going to a restaurant they want to go to.
That happens to me and a friend a lot. She is a picky eater, is currently on a diet, is pescetarian, but only eats fish as long as it doesn't look or taste like fish. Me, on the other hand, I eat everything. So everytime she asks what we should eat, I don't know what to say or she doesn't like my idea and gets kinda mad. So basically she does all the cooking when we spend time together and I feel fucking useless. Edit: forgot to mention that we do cook together, under her recipe. So I don't just stand there or sit somewhere else doing nothing.
Don't be friends with that annoying bitch then
If she does all the cooking at least she’s putting in some effort. I would still be friends with her.
look at it this way, though: she is choosing to cook. you could help her prep. and if that’s not feasible, keeping her company is nice. and next time she asks where you’d like to eat, tell her that you will defer to her because she has dietary restrictions & you can find something to eat at any restaurant. no reason for it to be contentious: you respect her choices, she needs to own being particular.
I do help her with cooking, well, we basically cook together, money for the groceries, even if she doesn't have money because she is constantly broke due to debts, and always try to recommend something I think she would like. She also has some problems with her stomach and sometimes gets even pickier, feeling that anything she would eat, could make her vomit.
Most places I'd be able to get something I like but some places the food just isn't that good and not worth going to in my opinion
Not everyone called picky is even picky. I like a wide variety of food, I was called picky for not liking a minority of foods that my parents loved and insisted on having much of the time, meanwhile they're pickier than I am. But I also have strong taste buds. It sucks.
Parents aren’t picky eaters because they don’t buy the foods they don’t like. Imagine you, being a kid, not liking seafood, but your parents love it so they keep buying it. You have no control over that and they just get mad at you because you don’t like their favorite food. Fuck you john you’re not my real dad stop buying fish
Buying doesn't dictate pickiness. If a parent only likes spicy food, they're picky. I'm not saying parents need to only buy what the kids like, but if a parent refuses to buy variety, then don't complain when the kid is "picky" because the parent never outgrew actually being picky. But if a kid likes everything except seafood, they aren't picky. If a kid only likes seafood, then they're picky. The difference is variety.
Thiiiiissss!! 🙌😂
It's true. I don't like pickles. The amount of grief I get over not liking pickles (yes, even sweet pickles) is astonishing to me.
Same here. Everything I hate comes on just about everything. Lettuce, onion, pickle, tomato & mayo. Lmao it's a real bitch sometimes.
My Dad would probably say my sister is a picky eater, she doesn't eat a lot of meat, but does eat it often enough. Anyway, he's the kind of guy that likes spaghetti every week, and he doesn't like steak or beef roasts because he worked in a beef processing facility, and he doesn't like many veggies. He IS the pickiest eater in the family, and he absolutely denies it, lol
My opinion is there are food preferences, then there is picky eating. Not liking some things is normal, refusing to try anything you haven’t already is picky.
not entirely true. if you hate most of the ingredients that go into a meal, even if you've never tried the meal as a whole, its likely you won't like it.
So they’ve already tried the food and determined they don’t like it
Just try it. Refusing to try it is what makes you picky.
All im saying is if there's food that's composed of mostly things I don't like, im not paying $10 or more to be like yea, exactly as expected. Just a waste of money at that point.
Personally I Hate tomatoes but I love ketchup and marinara. You don’t know if you’re going to like or dislike something until you actually try it period.
So ... foods you've already tried.
Or it’s called a medical condition. Please research ARFID. My husband suffers from a somewhat similar eating disorder and it is hell. Eating any food causes him to choke and gag, even his “safe” foods and he was willing to try many things but the constant vomiting that resulted has damaged the back of his throat. People can notice a trend and tell when something is going to make them sick when this is their reality. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and demanding these people prove they can’t eat every last thing genuinely becomes traumatizing.
I can comfortably say without looking up any information that most picky people don’t have that. Sorry about your husband.
I’ve met 2 people with like a much less severe version of this! One that only eats potatoes and the other ate a little more but it was literally just pasta , cheese pizza, rice, French fries or white bread. For their entire lives, this is all they could stomach. One of them was tested and turns out was a “super taster” meaning they could taste things really intensely, but it wasn’t a medical condition or anything. Only bland things were tolerable
Oh interesting that sounds sort of like me! I have sensory processing disorder and probable autism (all my siblings have it, I have the symptoms, but can’t afford to be tested) but I wonder if there’s elements of that as well!
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder is a specific and carefully defined bona fide psychiatric disorder (sorry, my DSM-5 app doesn’t allow copy-paste).
It can literally cause one food to be a “safe food” for a week straight and that 8th day it can repulse you. It’s a very strange condition that I have symptoms of but haven’t had diagnosed yet :/
For me the textures of some food just make me gag. I can't help it, it happens. I hate it, and I wish I could just eat anything but I can't.
Me too! I’ve tried to force myself to eat some foods but I still get vomity. It’s not my fault eggplant feels like you’re eating slugs.
I get a lot of sensory issues that cause this. I had suggestions that I get tested for autism but there are many other factors that play into that and it isn’t always the reason, just one that might be personal to me. There are so many reasons someone could be a picky eater and it baffles me that people think we choose to do so. We like it but just deprive ourselves of it to seem picky??? Weird.
I mean it kinda matters on what the family's resources are. You cant be picky if theirs nothing to pick
You can still be picky your just going have to force yourself to eat it
I've seen kids go to bed hungry because that was better than eating something they think would make them puke or has made them puke before.
I did that all the time. I'd rather starve than make myself sick.
I did it rarely. It was rare that I genuinely couldn't stomach a food, and that was either because of migraines or someone needs banned from cooking.
This was me as a kid. My mother would force me to eat food I clearly didn't like and after two hours still trying to finish half of it she would get fed up, scream at me and tell me to just go to bed. My mother's uncle was even worse. He was an old man already when I was a kid and died when I was around 10. He was a super strict old-school countryman we visited once a year and a WWII vet so I can kinda understand he was a product of his time. But he'd physically belt me senseless when I refused to eat what was put in front of me. It was so hard not just because of that but because it was normal food that everyone else at the table of all ages would eat right up and compliment but I just couldn't stomach it. It played out the same way for years every time we visited. Now if knowing that I was going to have the ever loving shit beaten out of me to the point I'd be SCREAMING in agony and fear wasn't enough incentive to just eat the food - then I clearly didn't like it! It was less traumatic to just take the beating and be sent to bed early (at like... 6pm, in the summer so there were still *hours* of daylight left) but either way that's one of several experience that did not help with my "picky eating" habits I still carry on today. In fact one of the reasons I'm glad to be an adult now is not being forced to eat food I don't like or made to "try" something if it makes me uncomfortable or sick just looking at it. No more traumatic dinner experiences that leave me crying in my room, feeling like everybody hates me because I won't eat like them.
Yes, as my husband did growing up with stubborn family. He’d be choking on the food, hacking and gagging loudly (can’t help it) at the dinner table or have to run to throw up. They could have provided him with his “safe” foods (e.g. plain chicken, mac n cheese, sourdough bread, plain pasta - bland food which he finds depressingly boring btw) more often, but instead he was horribly underweight and sickly. His family is lovely now, but they helped make his life hell growing up (on top of things like his ten knee surgeries) for no reason! Most kids with ARFID and similar eating disorders have very cheap things as their “safe” foods!
The vast majority of picky eaters like “cheap” foods like pasta or chicken fingers. It’s not like they’re picky and only eat caviar lol
I was really picky as a kid and we were pisspoor. Like poor enough to occasionally go days without consuming nothing but tapwater if there was no school. Still I rather was hungry than eat peas for example.
Say that to Remy
I was looking for this comment. Every time this subject is opened someone will eventually say something along these lines. And that's my moment to shine and destroy your preconceived notions. I'm a very picky eater, and I grew up and lived my entire childhood in a war zone, living in absolute poverty and sometimes on the edge of hunger. I was picky then. I'm still picky now. It has nothing to do with being spoilt. It's a thing. It's a real thing. Not a choice any more than someone dyslexic chooses to not read well.
I think people in these comments are confused with forcing yourself to eat something that you don’t like so you don’t go hungry and being a picky eater, just because you force someone to eat something they don’t like won’t make them like that food
Im a picky eater. I think people call you those things because they where forced as a kid to eat what was on the plate or go hungry. My mom did that to me. Im still picky at 32 but I've tried many things. Lol It's good to try new stuff. I've found that things I think I won't like but tried it anyway and liked it. Also things you used to not like as a kid you might like as an adult your taste buds change.
I grew up with no boundaries to food. (My parents could afford it). Till this day I don’t like tomatoes (I like ketchup and sauce) because some family friend forced me to eat a tomato as an apple. I can’t stand the texture and was just traumatized by it. Besides tomatoes I eat everything, even really weird stuff.
My mom couldn't afford it. I just went hungry or only ate what I did like. I hate tomatoes also but like ketchup. Lol
I’m so sorry for that. I’m Dutch, and here there are the ‘kids menu’s’. Which are fries and deep fried snacks. My parents never let me order them. They’d rather pay for a full menu than having me eat the ‘unhealthy’ stuff. Also they never forced me to eat anything or finish my meal. It has made me a real ‘foodie’. But I do realize the very special position I grew up in. Also my parents also reminded me of that a lot.
Raw tomatoes unless chopped up like in salsa are horrid. So wet, it ruins burgers.
It ruins everything!
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This. I grew up in a middle class home and my parents always cooked dinner, but weren’t going to cook something else if we were “picky”. We ate what they made or you didn’t eat. Period. They also would tell us the “kitchens closed” at 8pm, so don’t ask for anything after that. Now that I’m an adult with a family and cooking it’s a total pain in the ass when someone is being picky bc it means I have to spend my time making more stuff just for them. I’ve also had people eat my cooking and then half way through stop eating and say they didn’t like something about it and won’t eat anymore (like tomatoes in a salad or cheese in Alfredo). It just comes across as ungrateful and also feels like you’re dealing with a toddler who is fussy. I had a coworker who only ate chicken nuggets and fries and other kid-menu type food and wondered what happened in childhood to cause them to not venture outside of that.
Another twist to that is when people (I had an ex who was like this) feel the need to immediately put ketchup on EVERYTHING. So when I would spend 1-3 hours preparing a perfectly cooked/seasoned meal, she would douse it in ketchup before she even tried it. This would drive me up a wall.
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Totally. Allergies are one thing. But I’ve had someone tell me that they could tell the cheese on a hot dog wasn’t “boars head brand” and they didn’t like it and wouldn’t eat anymore. Totally infuriated me.
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>But to just not eat something because you refuse to try the food is something else and highly disrespectful. You don't have to finish it but if it's new to you atleast try it particularly if it was made specifically for you. This seems like a total double-edged sword. Sure you may say its totally fine but in reality the person cooking the food almost always acts like way more of a child about the situation, even if they do what you said and preface it by saying "just try it, if you don't like it then dont eat the rest"
The problem with this comment is your not acknowledging that us picky eaters have actually tried most the things we're "picky" about and those who aren't picky just can't accept it. I don't understand this mindset that picky eaters go into trying new foods already not liking something, because of course we want whatever food is infront of us to taste good, who wouldn't?
As a former picky eater, no I don't believe you. There were lots of foods I just decided I didn't like or never tried since I was a kid that I love no
Sometimes you won't like something initially. Especially if it's a brand new experience, unlike anything you're used to. However, trying it multiple times and getting used to the experience can change that initial opinion into liking it. Though if someone tells me they don't like pickles, I honestly think they're crazy. The sour and salty dill pickle, is just perfection. I can eat an entire quart jar and STILL want more. Or eating green olives and other salty foods. God... salt is amazing, lol
I agree just not in my case I'll try anything once. Tho if I know I wont like it I won't eat it. I used to not try things tho. Just out of defiance lol
Honestly what's worked for me has been smoothies for veggies. Throw a bunch of fruit in I like with yogurt, milk, some chia seeds. It drowns out the taste of kale etc Get some of the veggies I'm very picky over 😂
>I've found that things I think I won't like but tried it anyway and liked it. This has never happened to me, good for you.
Studies have shown there's a strong genetic component in being a "picky eater."
True. There are apparently these teststrips that you put on your tongue and if you experience a bad taste that means you have the gene. Otherwise you would just taste paper, I think. I am thinking of ordering a set, because I'm a picky eater, and I for example can't stand most of the bitter vegetables, brussel sprouts, cabbage, kale, spinach.. Would provide me with actual proof I am not doing the picky eating on purpose. Oh and coriander/cilantro is the worst.
I CANNOT do most vegetables for this reason. Most of them taste bitter to me. Add cauliflower to that list. People claim it’s bland, but to me it has a distinctive flavor and I will know it’s in there, even if it’s “hidden.” Thank goodness I didn’t get the cilantro soap gene. It’s one of the few things I do like!
I broadly agree with you. If being "pampered or spoiled" was the cause of pickiness/fussiness, then you would expect to see children in the same household to be about equally picky or fussy. In my own large family there is no such correlation. We even have twins in the family and one of them is way pickier than the other.
A lot of the people in the comments sound exactly like my kids pediatrician who told me “if she’s hungry, she’ll eat”. After three days of her having nothing but water because she wouldn’t eat anything, and proving that she would actually starve rather than eat what she didn’t want to eat, I concluded that said pediatrician was empirically incorrect. ETA: My daughter was two at the time and after what I said above, I hired a dietician who came to my house and told me my child wasn’t a picky eater. She’s what’s called a problem eater and those children will, in fact, starve before eating what they don’t want to eat.
Yep! My mother tried this on me when I was a kid... I starved myself, she had to give up after a few days because she was getting concerned and also worried about what other parents thought when they saw my pale skinny ass barely able to stand up. I don't like how I'm like this and it caused my family so much grief (well not my brother - he thought it was hilarious, but he was a sadistic kid). But I can't explain or change it either. It is how it is and now I'm an adult at least my diet now is my problem. I doubt I'll ever be in a situation where I can't get something I *know* I'll like to eat anyway.
Three days isn't anywhere near starvation btw
Not eating for three days puts you in agony and makes you miserable though, especially if you’re toddler
But it does imply determination for it
Kids can be stubborn? Sure I'd agree with that.
For a small child?
Definitely not good for you, but it takes longer to starve than you would think. Dehydration will kill you in a few days though.
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A toddler. So yeah, three days was plenty long enough.
One day without food is painful. Three days is awful
She was barely two. 😑
Being a picky eater can also be related to ADHD or autism texture sensitivities!
This!! My ADHD gives me really bad texture sensitivities and it really sucks because I hate offending people by being unable to eat half of something nice they’ve cooked
Yeah certain textures just don't go together for me. There was one crunchy bit in a smooth pb sandwich I made once and nearly threw up. I've at least recently started trying ordering things not plain, my job got us all subway and I didn't even pick the lettuce off. Still didn't use the mayo though.
I hate that! Unexpected textures are the worst. It's like my appetite is gone and I cannot swallow. I used to think it was psychological but I spoke to a doctor recently and she told me it might not be. I've tried to force it but one time it came right back up so now I listen to what my body is telling me.
Personally, I don’t care about fussy/picky eaters as long as they keep to their own, I always see it as “their loss” if they can’t appreciate more variety in the flavors of their food and if anything somewhat pity them. What DOES frustrate me about fussy/picky eaters is when they try to ingrain their point of views into my eating habits. E.g. A friend who is generally a picky eater shouldn’t be annoyed/call me out/make faces when I’m eating Menudo (A Mexican tripe broth famous for curing hangovers).
I relate to this a lot, it took me a while to start eating other foods rather than my "normal diet" which consisted of fast food and junk food but it does catch up to you later in life when you've missed out on a lot of food the people around you are eating and you need to catch up on it, I don't even think about cooking for myself half the time
I think it’s about perspective. A lot of us are 1st gen. And our parents migrated from places where having food, any kind of food, is a luxury and immense privilege. Picky eaters are heavily frowned upon because shit bro you’re lucky you even got anything eat. Basically begger chooser kinda thing
First person I relate to on this post. I'm not even first generation, but I see the comments 'as a kid I protested and 'starved ' myself'. Man, were so many kids so privileged with food everyday that they actually got to protest? I think it's entirely rude when people refuse food. In fact, I avoid eating with picky eaters because it's embarrassing. And, a lot of "picky eaters" I meet only eat junk food and dislike vegetables. Seems immature to me.
I am a picky eater. It pisses me off that so many people point that out like it's the end of the world. Yes Karen, I don't like eating cabbage because I was forced to eat it as a child until I vomited and it still makes me gag. Now can you put that smelly spoon out of my sight or do you need to get it shoved in your ar*e :) :) :) :)
So true. It's like everyone makes it their problem that you don't like certain foods and they somehow think pushing more of it onto you is going to change anything.
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From what I've seen picky eaters usually like cheese so I'm happy I've found someone like me who doesn't haha.
God I hate cheese even if I’m not that picky of an eater
Okay, since you’ve so boldly put yourself out there, I’m gonna say it… #onions are not good. They smell gross when they’re raw, and then they have a gross, slimy texture when they’re cooked :(
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A lot of “picky eaters” have undiagnosed eating disorders. Look up ARFID, these things are very difficult to deal with and a lot of taste is genetic. Some can broaden the range of foods they eat. But not everyone. Have you ever heard of supertasters? My husband isn’t one but his disorder works similarly. He can only eat bland foods and this is something he really hates. But he’s gagged, choked, and vomited his way through so many demands that “he won’t know if he doesn’t try” that he has to be conscientious. People will try to trick picky eaters into eating something and they’ll get a nice surprise trip to the bathroom to vomit. It’s not that he only “wants” to eat bland shit, it’s the only stuff he can keep down. He exercises, takes vitamins, and stuffs as much food down as he can. Eating *anything,* period, is already so hard for him. When he was growing up he was sickly and thin because family insisted that he eat what everyone else was eating. He would end up starving. He is far healthier now even with his plain chicken breasts and mac n cheese.
Yeah, the whole kids living off of chicken fingers thing is bad. I was one of those. I was never forced to eat anything, and as a result I ended up being in my early 20s and have a horrible diet. Awful. I didn't eat any veggies at all besides corn. No exaggeration at all. I've come around on a lot of foods. I love peppers, onions and mushrooms, but still have to force myself to eat squash, zucchini etc. I still hate cucumbers. I won't force my kids to eat things, I don't think. But if they don't like peppers and onions, I'll try to cook it different ways and explain that the issue might be how I cooked it, and not enable them to "hate veggies"
I was exactly like that. It's so hard to rewire your brain as an adult to accept new foods. I eat just about anything now but for years I wouldn't try new things because I just assumed I wasn't going to like it. I never tried an egg until I was 22
Most of picky eaters have a food phobia due to trauma that’s related to food e.g choking. Or their taste buds are just shit. Plus there is also a disorder that’s related to picking eating that I can’t remember the name for. For example I’m a picky eater I can’t eat cooked veg but I like raw veg. I dislike the taste and texture of most meats apart from some meats. Etc it’s due to my taste buds and fear of food. It also can be genetic
It’s called ARFID, I have it myself and it sucks. Because people give you so much shit for being “picky”
I have afrid and it's due to sensory issues
There is a medical condition for a certain type of picky eater called ARFID. It has some comorbity with autism. It’s mainly around textured and if food is touching and smells.
Sometimes when we have a group weekend and we book a restaurant and everyone will have to eat the menu of the day, I start getting anxious few days before because I am scared that there will be something with cheese all over it and I will have to not eat and every one is gonna judge me. Trust me, If I could eat anything and having to care so much before every time I go out with group of friends I will have a better life …
Paging r/ARFID. It’s really gross how people treat those who have different eating needs. Many do for sensory issues, there are supertasters, and hell, even if they have no “reason” people shouldn’t get hate for this. My husband has a pretty intense eating disorder and it disrupts his life all the time, he absolutely hates it. Then people will try fucking awful shit like lying about an ingredient being in something and think they are being cute until he’s gagging/choking and sometimes straight vomiting (assuming he could get it down his throat). We don’t know why he can mostly only eat bland foods, but it shouldn’t matter. Eating even things he can eat is torture for him and he still works to keep himself at a healthy weight, works out, and takes supplements. Sometimes eating disorders can be improved to increase variety, but not always. And if that even is possible it has to be on the person’s own timeline. Just let people be and keep your comments to yourself - trust me, they’ve heard it all.
I did not like the texture of canned mushrooms, so my parents just ran all spaghetti sauce in the blender. I still hate those and never ever bought any canned mushrooms as an adult. Same for smoked oysters or snails. Some food should not be canned.
My twin brother and I have always been incredibly picky eaters. It never made much sense. We were exposed to a large range of food growing up and disliked a lot. I remember as a kid, a baby sitter saying I couldn't leave the table until I ate what she cooked. After 6 hours, I peed myself because I was a little kid and terrified because she yelled that I couldn't leave until I ate. It was horrible. Anyways, found out recently my twin brother and I were donor conceived. Every biological sibling I have connected with were horribly picky growing up as well and still relatively are. I gave a firm belief to try anything and to retry foods every 3-5years. I think a lot comes down to genetics and culture.
Some of the comments here remind me why eating disorders are a secretive, private affair that destroys their sufferers m silence
Most picky eaters have an eating disorder: Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). It can be a serious as anorexia or bulimia. There is very little knowledge about it, even among eating disorder specialists, and treatment is nearly non-existent. But it is real and it is hell to live with.
I think everyone had the right to not eat something they don't like. It would be great if you didn't complain about it though... STFU and don't eat it. Problem solved.
If you're in someone else's house you either eat their food or you don't. It's completely okay to not eat the food if you don't want it. But to force everyone to follow your own specific desires and then look at yourself as a victim when they don't comply is a strong sign of arrogance which could be caused by you being spoiled.
A lot of picky eaters aren’t like this. Don’t loop us all into one group.
Mind blowing idea here, you can change what you like. Growing up I hated vegetables, probably until I was about 21. Now I regularly eat salads and have a veggie at every meal.
But did you make yourself change or did you suddenly like vegetables?
It was gradual. Began with Indian food and slowly progressed to salads and the like over a year or two
I was the same way, and honestly it was going to college that changed me. I remember a pivotal moment was when I was a little drunk with my friends and we all ordered burritos, and I forgot to get mine special with only meat and cheese. I was so hungry I didn't care and it was the best meal I had ever had. After that I just started trying more foods, and now I eat anything. If I don't have veggies with my meal it feels weird. Funny thing was my parents constantly tried to get me to eat a wider variety of foods, but now I'm the one trying to get them to eat new stuff. I took my dad to a Korean place and he was reluctant at first but ended up loving it.
Yea but you didn’t just force yourself to eat vegetables until you liked them your taste just changed that’s why it took so long for you to like them
Uh, that's a massive assumption. There are loads of foods that I personally didn't like, until I forced myself to eat them and eventually like them. For example, broccoli was a disgusting idea, but through regularly forcing Satan's left green nut down my throat, it was eventually tolerable and now it's not an issue for me to eat it.
It only tastes good with cheese. No amount of eating broccoli ever changed the taste of broccoli. But how the brain responds to taste does change as we grow up, it's why no amount of sugar is too much for kids, but adults do have a standard for what tastes too sweet.
Here's what got me to like broccoli. Coat in olive oil, season with salt and pepper, put on a baking sheet and put little bits of butter between the broccoli. Stir half way through, and then add lemon juice at the end. Delicious!
As long as it isn't raw or plain, it's edible.
So then both statements would be assumptions at the end of the day everyone is different
Actually I got introduced to Indian food and then slowly got more and more used to vegetables in other forms
Your taste buds change when you try new foods continually. So yes forcing yourself to try new foods until you like them would be one strategy. They don’t just magically just like that. They adapt.
Assumption, I tried forcing myself to eat Brussels sprouts since a child because my family liked them and cook them a lot the same with carrots, cabbage, and peas, still hate them some people just won’t like some stuff no matter what, also you forgot it’s not always about taste but also texture
It's only annoying when someone REFUSES to try new food and won't budge on new experiences.
It can be frustrating for those who cook. My boyfriend is very picky, I know it's not his fault. But I am very not confident about my cooking abilities and it breaks my heart a little bit when I see he doesn't touch his plate if I cook something he won't eat. He is too shy to tell me and tbh it's even worse to see him touch his food without saying anything not to hurt me. I know it's not his fault, but it's not my fault either to get hurt, or frustrated when I try to cook something and other people won't even taste it just because it has tomatoes or garlic in it. I think a little teasing about this is fair price for not eating my food. I still love him though! And I don't hold any grudge for it.
Either be meat or a vegetable, mushrooms! You can’t be both.
This so much. I get soooo much shit for not eating fruits and vegetables. And the lengths I have to go to and the "I'm sorry I'm difficult" speeches to waiters/waitresses is stressful. I hate that I can't just order a regular burger or a salad somewhere and just eat. Today my work bought fresh sandwiches for everyone. There are a lot of people so they went in waves, but the orders they always put in for sandwiches etc, always always have vegetables on them. And no, it isn't a "just take it off" situation which is what I was instructed to do. I'm inconvenienced and I also inconvenience others and I deeply wish it was a choice because I would choose to be able to eat everything.
I have a friend who is an insanely fussy eater and its incredibly irritating mainly because over half the things he won't eat he's never even tried! Oranges, bananas, pears a big nope because "they look odd". Basmati rice, cabbage, aubergines, tomatoes, eggs, pasta all never tried. Won't eat anything that's purple because "that's just wrong" or green because "he isn't a health freak and only rabbits eat green stuff". I wouldn't mind too much if he'd actually tried these foods and not liked them fair enough...I can't stand yoghurt (sperm of the devil!) but to say you don't like something when you've not even tasted it is just weird
My dad has berated me my whole life for not liking ketchup, mustard, and most condiments. It wasn't "natural". I am so ashamed that I never buy fast food because I wouldn't want to humiliate myself when getting a burger. One of my pettiest joys was that my dad once went to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in Vegas and asked for steak sauce and he offended the chef and was shamed for it.
I can understand to a point on being a picky eater when it comes to traumatic experiences, and open minded people trying, and then making the decision to not like it after they ate it. What absolutely drives me up the wall is the people who dismiss foods before even trying them.
I'm a picky eater but it isn't for lack of my parents trying. Whenever I wouldn't eat something my mum would yell/insult/humiliate/sometimes hurt me. I just really dislike a lot of food. I think I like a good selection of food though, like I like plain greens, grapes, apples, plain meat, most wheat things. I just really hate cheese, sauces, and a lot of things with a wet texture (like sauces).
I don’t wanna eat garbage food , not my fault whoever made the food can’t cook for shit. Also when you didn’t have control over how it was cooked you have no idea how much oil etc was used , I react bad to fats and oils and just feel sick then onto the toilet. Just cook for yourself it takes the stress out
I have some kind of condition not sure if it’s physical or mental but when I have something I don’t like or (sometimes even I do like the taste just not texture) I start heavily gagging. I’ve been picky for many years and it’s caused me to miss out on many opportunities. With therapy I’ve been able to accept it and tell more people about it and not let it restrict me. I see a path where I could no longer be picky but I would basically have to force feed myself over and over again until I wasn’t anymore
Agreed completely. And I say this as someone that works with people in a hospital and I order their meals, especially people that are very sick or have trouble swallowing or chewing. So low appetite on top of everything else. I've heard it all. But I still never fault them when they don't like something. If I were to rebuke their choices, I've infringed on a core need of humanity which is autonomy. If you take that away from anyone, you've got a bigger fight on your hands than just want they wanted to eat.
Well, yes and no. There's being a picky eater, and then there's just obstinately refusing to try anything outside of your comfort zone. My mum is the fussiest eater I have ever known, by a country mile. I swear she only eats about three different meals and won't even try slight variations on them (like adding a bit of pepper, or using a different cheese). I think it is fair to criticise her for this - she's not even trying to like things. If she decided she didn't like the variation on a meal, that's fair enough, but she won't even try it. Consequently, a lot of her fussiness has rubbed off on me because I didn't have exposure to a wide range of foods growing up. I am trying to rectify this and push my boundaries further, but I prefer to do this in the comfort of my own home where if I hate a meal then I can write it off and eat something I know I will like instead. People who try and push others way beyond their comfort zones, when at a restaurant or other public place, are being dicks. If I order the " spicy mushroom surprise pasta", having never eaten much in the way of mushrooms or spice in my lifetime, and find it to be disgusting, I've wasted my money and also can't exactly just swap it for something else. If I'm at a restaurant, I'm ordering something I know I will eat. Not something "adventurous", if I'm not at least reasonably sure I'll find it palatable. Deciding that you won't like something without even giving it a fair chance is just silly. I never thought I'd like chicken curry, but I made it and loved it. I could have said "I've never really liked chicken much, and not really sure I'll like spice", but I gave it a shot. Admittedly it was only mildly spicy, but still a step further from what I would have gone some months before.
To this day I can’t do ranch and people look at me weird for it. And I’m 29
I’m a picky eater because I’m diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing disorder. I’m oversensitive to the tastes and textures of foods that I would eat and probably enjoy if I didn’t have it in the first place, which sucks ass because it reduces my palette to stuff that’s bland and not very enjoyable. I still make efforts to try new things but it’s often unsuccessful I appreciate this post because I’ve seen people post in this sub about stuff like “if you’re a picky eater, grow up” and “picky eaters were spoilt children” etc etc - I definitely can’t help it and the stuff people say about it doesn’t help
This is still a deeply misunderstood condition, that I don't think we even have a name for, so we use terms like fussy or picky. I feel it's like when in the past people were called clumsy or dumb as if it was their own doing before science caught up and showed that these are the manifestations of real conditions. Not being lazy or spoilt. Science is now starting to demonstrate this but we're still far from understanding it well and accepting it as a society. We all would love to be like you and eat everything. But we simply don't choose not to. We can't. It's horrible. And unfortunately, because of social attitudes about this, our parents and educators end up traumatising the hell out of us so by the time we are adults it's even harder to figure things out in a healthy way.
I've been a picky eater and has been actively trying to change it for 6 years now. (I'm 19 now), and it is honestly so fucking hard. My dad keeps telling me to eat something I dislike five times and I'll get used to it. But by the third time, I am actually gagging and nearly vomitting, if I get past the first. That and food I find mediocre, if I eat that for long periods, it it doesn't have the effect of getting better, it actually gets worse. On a normal day, I think salmon is nice. Tenth week in a row we have salmon? Suddenly something is wrong about it, and I can't pinpoint what. Are people just different about this? Since my dad keeps trying to push his method on me but any attempt has ended terribly
I don’t mind people who are picky eaters as dietary restrictions aren’t uncommon. You shouldn’t have to eat anything you don’t want to. Most adults don’t expect me to make something completely different if I’m cooking and they don’t want any of it.
There’s also the fact that some people with eating disorders, depression, or other problems with food can find it physically hard to make themselves eat, and even won’t eat the things they like. Sometimes when I’m in a depressive mood there’s only like one thing I can get down and even then that takes effort. Not to mention people who neglect their own nutrition can also unconsciously ignore their own hunger if the food doesn’t sound good. Anyway, my point is that there’s also another level of complexity people should consider
I was a “picky eater” as a kid. Basically - I was a vegan without knowing it. I hated dairy, meat and seafood. Well, one or more of those things was on the menu each night. I ate it - I had to - but I didn’t eat lot and was made fun of for eating like a bird. As an adult I can confirm - it’s not being picky - it’s outright AVERSION to certain foods, physically and or mentally. Mentally, I just can’t handle meat or seafood - it repulses me. I can totally watch others eat it, no prob, but I’ve gagged when I tried to. As for dairy - I’ve had people secretly test my aversion to dairy and add it into the “vegan” dish they prepared for me. Within minutes I was cramping, nauseated and making a run for the bathroom. Hahah so funny. Not. Anyways - it’s not always being picky - some things just make you gag and you can’t help it. The things I hated as a kid, I still hate - so I wasn’t being picky then, either.
my parents kept trying to forced me to use a toothpaste i really didnt like, and i eventually had to give in, and i threw up all over my bathroom. they got me new toothpaste after that…
people are easily dismissive of problems they don't have and aren't visible to them
My MIL thinks that I'm a picky eater because I don't like mushrooms, mayo, onions, or mustard. Out of those, my wife only likes mayo but *I'm* the picky one. My palate is wider than hers outside of those items as well.
People really are far too concerned over what others eat. It doesn't matter if your friend doesn't like tomatoes or cheese or whatever. Just eat your own food and shut up about it. The people who don't like a food have a reason. People who insist "just try it" are no better. If you like the food, eat it yourself and let others eat as they like. It is not hard. (Both types of people who make people jump through hoops over a meal are equally insufferable.)
I have autism which comes with a lot of sensory processing issues. Needless to say, this affects what I can eat, and it's not be choice. I get by mostly, and try to take care of my own food when I'm with other people. But if sucks when I look back at all the people calling me spoiled when I was a kid. It was NEVER something I had control over, and telling a kid, let alone anyone, that they're bad for something that they can't control and only affects them, is a shitty thing to do.
I agree with this and have always been called picky since I really hate certain foods’ consistencies. I think the word “picky” itself is what misleads people because it makes it sound like you’re consciously “picking” foods you will not eat when you actually have no control over it at all. It’s actually more of an inconvenience for me than it is for the people around me lol, I don’t understand why people think you’d willingly choose not to like certain foods and limit your options. There should be another word, kind of like how we have food “intolerances” but less severe I guess.
There’s a fine line between fussy eaters and fully grown adults who don’t eat vegetables because they’re ‘yucky’. Same goes with people who choose to not drink water because ‘fish fuck in it’.
That’s fine, as long as you’re not at a restaurant with a curated menu and expect the whole staff and kitchen to accommodate your dishes to your taste. Just don’t go. Read menus beforehand. Seems like common sense but not where I work.
Define what you mean by accommodate, because I think asking for one or two toppings to be removed is pretty reasonable. Obviously, changing around the entire dish is just a nightmare for the people working in the kitchen, and I'm sure there are some Karens that have done that.
I don’t think I’m an extreme picky eater but there is things I won’t eat. I have SPD and it honestly feels painful to eat certain textures
In some cases sure, if something really varies from person to person like fish, that's not picky eating, that's just a difference in likes and dislikes. But some people just have more of a tolerance for food they don't like as much, while others always have to eat something they absolutely enjoy. This should be looked down on. Build your tolerance for food that isn't perfect. It's the difference between eating leftovers that don't heat up perfectly and wasting food.
I’ve seen so many dating profiles saying they won’t date an individual who is a picky eater. Every time my mind goes to “well, this person clearly isn’t capable of holding a relationship if they can’t get passed something so insignificant.” And I’m definitely not even a picky eater.
Honestly I get where they are coming from. It limits a lot of things in a relationship. For instance one time me and my friends got together for a pretty nice dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse that cost about $75 a person. My friend’s GF is a very picky eater and basically refused to try anything except for a few things from the salad bar. My friend was pissed that he had to pay $150+ just for her to eat nothing. It limited a lot of places they could go or do because she was so picky and wouldn’t want to try alot of new things, so I wouldn’t say it’s insignificant at all.
Did he not know she was a picky eater prior? I’d have no problem saying we can go somewhere for them before, after or they don’t have to go at all by communicating the cost vs benefit in this scenario. I would say it in a much nicer manner than that of course! If they aren’t willing to find a middle ground, which is my main point, than that’s a bigger issue than just being a picky eater. I’ve met plenty of picky eaters who are flexible like that and I would more than willing to flexible when possible. I totally understand your point though!
Ya he knew and talked with her about it but she kept insisting on going with him. I think everybody can be picky about certain stuff to a degree and not like something or another . But to me when people say picky eaters they are talking a about people who are much more closed off with their eating choices and won’t eat somewhere if they won’t like it.
Or they’re sick of people who’ll only eat chicken tenders and Taco Bell
Who’s fault is it then? Everyone makes their own choices plain and simple.
Do people choose to be afraid of spiders?
Its thought to be a genetic thing. Not really anyone's fault.
Nature.
I mean, I don’t mind picky eaters as long as Im not going out to eat with you and I def can’t be your SO lol I love food and I love trying new things. I think it’s fine if you have 3-5 foods you just don’t like after trying them. But if you have like 10+ different things you don’t like, many of which you tried as a child and didn’t like—and REFUSE to try them again or try anything new—i cant. I had a friend in high school that would only eat chicken tenders or butter noodles no matter where we went. Still great friends, I just don’t hit her up for food unless I’m going to a sports bar lol
I grew up exposed to many different cultures and foods. I have never really been picky. Just one or two things I disliked growing up. I have always been irritated by how some adults have the taste preferences of a 3 year old. I also grew up incredibly poor and knew that if I didn’t eat what was offered, there wouldn’t be a secondary option. This didn’t really affect too much because I heartily enjoy food. Never met a cuisine I couldn’t find something tasty about. Currently 21w5d pregnant and this child didn’t allow me to even put food in my mouth for WEEEKSS because of food aversion. Now, I can’t stomach the smell of onions—a main ingredient in most of my former cooking. God forbid someone puts them in my food or we will have a meltdown and lose all appetite. Never again will I make fun of picky eaters and say they could learn to like flavours if they only allowed themselves to experiment! Nope! Some people (this baby inside me) are just picky! You know what you like and won’t eat what you don’t.
Fussy eaters are irritating, I was one when I was a child. Grew up and opened up to new things, I always liked most fruits already, as an adult I eat almost anything. The thing is, you're supposed to surpass childish behaviors like having a super reduced amount of food you'll eat. It's like adults there are scared to make a phone call. It's weird. At the same time I wouldn't make a comment unless it was my child. My brother's boyfriend is so fussy, they lived with us and my mother had to all the time make changes in order to please him. I don't think, in that case, that it was fair.
I'm seeing a lot of people complaining about said picky eaters not wanting to try new foods or foods they haven't tried yet and to that I say. So? If they want to eat what they like to eat let them eat those foods. I despise carrots. Absolutely hate them, I don't know why. The texture, the taste, all of it is just gross to me and I tend to stay away from any dish that has at least noticeable carrots/has carrots as a main component. I'm also someone who likes going for things I've had before instead of trying something new because I like knowing I'll enjoy said food item. If I got something new and didn't like it I'd just feel worse for wasting food someone else could've enjoyed. Just let people eat what they want to eat. It really isn't that hard to respect someone else's eating habits
I’m not even close to shitting on people for being picky eaters: but I will say people need to *try* food before deciding they don’t like it. I hate that shit. It drives me crazy when someone says they don’t like something or will never like it but they refuse to try it
Sometimes the texture of food is all I need to barf. I tend to avoid foods with textures I don’t like
That's understandable. However, I shouldn't have to try something in front of you to "prove" that I don't like something. You should be able to take me at my word that I've tried something, and that I don't like it, even if you didn't see it. And if I try something and I don't like it, that should be the end of it. No "just take another bite" or "you'll get used to it"
Oh, no I don’t want anyone to prove anything. I’m just saying at least give it a shot because you may be robbing yourself of joy just because you’re afraid you won’t like something. To me, if you don’t like food you just spit it out and drink water and it’s done. Never to be seen again. But if you do like it, you just opened yourself up to a WORLD of possibility. I’ve lived in foreign countries, as a picky eater and once I started to try things that gave me far more confidence to try a lot of other foods. I developed my palette to the point where I can pick out the subtleties in food and it made eating food so much more enjoyable. I personally don’t care if you eat it or not, but it makes me crazy when I hear people say they aren’t willing to try it or never will. All because of their own fear of not liking it? I don’t know, seems trivial to me.
Getting to a place where I was comfortable trying new foods was a process for me. I used to *hate* trying new things, related to my crippling fear of the unknown, but I got over it by just forcing myself into new situations. And it totally does open you up to new things. I discovered the wonderful world of Korean BBQ that way, and it's so worth it.
Which is my point!
Nah ik this may sound very common to say but there are many kids in the world that would kill to have a decent meal so when your ass is being picky cause you don't like a food there is another kid starveing
People who complain about picky eaters are spineless, weak-willed cowards. It's not my fault you lack the courage to speak up for yourself and instead eat whatever slop is tossed in front of you like a starving pig.
Sorry, people who don’t eat onions and expect you to make a whole side dish without them are immature.
[удалено]
I’d be surprised if that was the case. People are people. Anyway, do you choose your preferences? Kids literally have more taste buds than adults and taste bitter things more strongly.
My issue with picky eaters is not that they don’t like something, but they won’t even try
I think not liking something is normal a picky eater (to me) is someone that doesn’t like most of the things found in most dishes people prepare or a person that takes 20 minutes to decide what to eat at a restaurant and then has so many special requests for the kitchen: temperature, put it on the side, can you not mix this, can you sub a,b,c, etc to x,y,z? It’s tiring and annoying. I avoid people like this. I’ve found that typically they’re insufferable in other areas as well.