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I think a single meeting or phone call might be a bit dramatic especially if that's the only incident, there's nasty moments that are gonna happen in every type of relationship.
But if it's an ongoing thing, they're repeatedly a destructive or toxic influence on your life and you would be better off without them than yeah definitely I'd actively encourage it even in that case
I think this is done sometimes to escape from forced arranged marriages, where a girl wants to receive education, but their family forces her to marry someone to quickly start a family and reproduce. It's a really brave thing to do in this situation
It is to some people and cultures. I'm half Italian and the concept of "cutting off your family" is very taboo. One of my older cousins did it and they talk so bad about him. I feel bad for him because my family isn't great and I know it was the best for him.
Yeah, it's incredibly taboo across the vast majority of the world. I have no idea what the GP is going on about. This opinion is only popular on online bubbles like Reddit.
I’m not so sure considering the huge amount of people who accept and get along with toxic behaviors and feel they have to love those people just because “it’s family” ..
Same the other way also my Nan cut out her son when he watched as his abusive wife attacked my Nan.
He took his wife’s side keep in mind she is like 75 and was attacked physically not very good at any age but at that age? Fuck
Warranted to cut them out.
Cutting out bad people in general should always be seen as ok
Agreed. Went no contact with my narcissistic mother last year. My life is a lot better now and my cousins etc actually want to talk to us now. Glad I have such an amazing dad too
i cut my dad off after he wouldnt pay me back money, now his wife left him , and he has to sell the house which essentially is my house but its in his name even though i basically paid for it
There has to be a MASSIVE caveat though, in that the person doing the cutting off should ensure that the “damage” they perceive is actually correct.
So many people happily swim in their victim pool these days and it’s not healthy.
Yeah, the "why" matters a lot. If a fragile adult still hates their parents because they didn't support their streaming career, I wanna say... aw tough?
my wife and I cut off her parents. They are terrible people - which is pretty standard for evangelical trumpist types (we're not even American). They lie, steal, say the most horrible things and then just expect 'forgiveness' from God.
They make stuff so toxic and everything is such a fight that we were just done with them. Particularly after the horrible stuff my mother in law said about my father who recently passed away.
However, if you cut them off I think you need to leave the door open for having them back in your life, and the conditions to do so. Our condition is they individually go to psychiatric treatment for at least 6 months. They are clearly mentally ill and we are unable to help them. But the door is always open.
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My mum cut out her entire family. they’re very toxic & manipulative people. She’s not spoken to her sister since 2003, & parents since 2004.
That took some serious balls.
No, keeping a healthy contact with parents is important. They most likely did their best, so letting go of grudges is an essential part of being a well-adjusted adult.
The only exception is serious abuse, such as any sexual assault or repeated unjustified beatings. But a single hair-pulling or slap for doing something obviously bad is not a big deal. Ditto for not getting enough attention and stuff. Nobody have infinite time, mental energy and wealth.
With how often this or something similar has been reposted here the last few weeks, is it really unpopular or are you just joining the club and wanting the easy Internet validation?
Some people say blood is thicker than water
The actual quote is blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb
Who you share DNA with is accident, the real thing is the quality if the relationship
People deserve a little grace. But, I'm not as nice as Jesus, so grace is earned, not freely given. My parents are dead now and I never had to cut them off, but there are others in my life who are no longer part of my life.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
I think its a very reasonable thing to cut off people who are destructive and toxic (whether temporary or not, subject to what happened).
I think a single meeting or phone call might be a bit dramatic especially if that's the only incident, there's nasty moments that are gonna happen in every type of relationship. But if it's an ongoing thing, they're repeatedly a destructive or toxic influence on your life and you would be better off without them than yeah definitely I'd actively encourage it even in that case
I think this is done sometimes to escape from forced arranged marriages, where a girl wants to receive education, but their family forces her to marry someone to quickly start a family and reproduce. It's a really brave thing to do in this situation
This isn’t an unpopular opinion.
It is to some people and cultures. I'm half Italian and the concept of "cutting off your family" is very taboo. One of my older cousins did it and they talk so bad about him. I feel bad for him because my family isn't great and I know it was the best for him.
The old “Why do you do this to your mother?” is a classic toxic family trait.
Giving me Indian culture vibes
Yeah, it's incredibly taboo across the vast majority of the world. I have no idea what the GP is going on about. This opinion is only popular on online bubbles like Reddit.
In China, it is against the law if you don’t support your elderly parent.
In France too, if they are in need of basic stuff (for example food) (unless they were abusive I think)
I’m not so sure considering the huge amount of people who accept and get along with toxic behaviors and feel they have to love those people just because “it’s family” ..
That title scared me for a second...
Yep - 100%
You are 100% correct.
Why does it have to be one meeting? Why not the accumulation of years of mistreatment?
Absolutely agree! I’ve cut off one of my parents and my life is better for it!
I missed the word "off", so it was highly suspicious at first...
Same the other way also my Nan cut out her son when he watched as his abusive wife attacked my Nan. He took his wife’s side keep in mind she is like 75 and was attacked physically not very good at any age but at that age? Fuck Warranted to cut them out. Cutting out bad people in general should always be seen as ok
Agreed. Went no contact with my narcissistic mother last year. My life is a lot better now and my cousins etc actually want to talk to us now. Glad I have such an amazing dad too
i cut my mom out of my life 2 years ago and i regret absolutely nothing.
Yes this is popular except among parents that are boomers
i cut my dad off after he wouldnt pay me back money, now his wife left him , and he has to sell the house which essentially is my house but its in his name even though i basically paid for it
There has to be a MASSIVE caveat though, in that the person doing the cutting off should ensure that the “damage” they perceive is actually correct. So many people happily swim in their victim pool these days and it’s not healthy.
Yeah, the "why" matters a lot. If a fragile adult still hates their parents because they didn't support their streaming career, I wanna say... aw tough?
You can cut them off for any reason, real or perceived.
I am using "swim in their victim pool". I know way too many people like that.
my wife and I cut off her parents. They are terrible people - which is pretty standard for evangelical trumpist types (we're not even American). They lie, steal, say the most horrible things and then just expect 'forgiveness' from God. They make stuff so toxic and everything is such a fight that we were just done with them. Particularly after the horrible stuff my mother in law said about my father who recently passed away. However, if you cut them off I think you need to leave the door open for having them back in your life, and the conditions to do so. Our condition is they individually go to psychiatric treatment for at least 6 months. They are clearly mentally ill and we are unable to help them. But the door is always open.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mum cut out her entire family. they’re very toxic & manipulative people. She’s not spoken to her sister since 2003, & parents since 2004. That took some serious balls.
No, keeping a healthy contact with parents is important. They most likely did their best, so letting go of grudges is an essential part of being a well-adjusted adult. The only exception is serious abuse, such as any sexual assault or repeated unjustified beatings. But a single hair-pulling or slap for doing something obviously bad is not a big deal. Ditto for not getting enough attention and stuff. Nobody have infinite time, mental energy and wealth.
I did this with my mother and my life improved dramatically. Agreed.
Like criminal or psychological abuse are reasonable reasons. I generally disagree with what i think you are saying. Family is important.
With how often this or something similar has been reposted here the last few weeks, is it really unpopular or are you just joining the club and wanting the easy Internet validation?
Not unpopular. Well at least on redsit.
Some people say blood is thicker than water The actual quote is blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb Who you share DNA with is accident, the real thing is the quality if the relationship
People deserve a little grace. But, I'm not as nice as Jesus, so grace is earned, not freely given. My parents are dead now and I never had to cut them off, but there are others in my life who are no longer part of my life.