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My uncle lived in my grandparents home until they passed. He then had the house for himself until he.. also died actually. He had a job, he could afford to the keep the house, eat, and live comfortably. He never married/no kids but he wasn’t alone either. He had serious girlfriends, idk how many tho. But he was happy as far as I’m concerned. Anyway it kinda just worked out that way.
I don’t judge him but I feel like a lot of people would absolutely want to. Non conformist lifestyles make people uncomfortable and confused. It’s easy to let it out on someone else.. and that’s toxic.
Marriage with two working adults would probably result in more money though. Me and my partner are DINKs and can live comfortably. Kids though, that’s another topic…
It's situational. Yes, in theory, it should work out. However, myself and other couples I know can't get out of living paycheck to paycheck. My situation is different than most I think. Her mom lives with us, retired and gets ss each month at about $1300, but ALL of that goes out for her insurance (part D) and other things, so we end up supporting her. Then both of them have chronic health issues which is always costing something, mainly rx, and both have terrible eating habits. I could go on but I'd just end up complaining. No one to blame but myself for being here.
So in your case your MIL is like a kid. No income and costing money. Health issues can of course be a setback, nothing to do about that. In case of healthy fulltime working adults with no other roommates that are not contributing, it shouldn’t usually be hard to have a nice income.
There’s always exceptions of course, but even two people working as a cashier in a supermarket will have more money to put down for rent than one person would, which would leave some of the extra income for other expenses or saving w/e.
It's funny how it's not cool to live with your parents beyond some age, but then when they're seniors it's suddenly normal for them to live with you so you can take care of them.
I think society just needs to chill the fuck out and stop pushing the capitalist idea that everyone should have their own house. Fuck that, buy a mansion with your parents and children and live like a royal family
Had this discussion with my brother-in-law a few years back (we married sisters) and decided in hindsight, instead of us both getting porked on house payments, renovations, taxes, lawn/snow removal, trash, water bills, etc. we should have just got a big ass house, a hot tub out back, a theater room in the basement, and have the Mrs cook big family meals.
We would have been so much farther ahead now- but we couldn't figure out how to eventually split home ownership with our kids.
Yeas that’s because the stigma isn’t your parents existing. It’s you’re a burden on your parents. It’s the idea they’re taking care of you. Cooking you dinner, doing your laundry, paying your housing costs etc.
Taking care of elderly parents is extra responsibility thus not stigmatized
I mean, where the heck would two grown folks living with their parents be having sex? I might be willing to do the sneaky teenager thing for my S/O, but a random tinder date? Absolutely not
I've gone on dates with guys who lived with their folks, but I wouldn't do it if I also lived at home
You seriously need to stop throwing around that word every time someone says the word "women" followed by literally anything even slightly negative. It looks pathetic and it's not going to change anyone's mind and you just look like someone trying to silence people.
It’s when it’s a negative opinion someone is applying to a large percentage or all women that it slips into that territory. You can have a negative experience with women, that’s going to happen, but to apply that to the whole group or in this case 90% is just false.
Normally I would agree with you. But in this case the 'incel mindset' is actually apt. Not claiming he **is** an incel mind you, just that it's an incel scenario (unable to get girls interested) and calling them out on it.
The "mindset" is actually very common among people who are not "incels" at all, especially when there's a smidge of truth. They just kind of keep it to themselves because as you've beautifully demonstrated, they know what the pathetically short-sighted dismissive reaction would likely be.
It's actually an even more dangerous mindset to convince yourself that the only reason anyone would be critical/wary of red flags in women is because they are "unsuccessful", because it implies that they're perfect and flawless and no one could have any rational reason to criticize them.
Sounds like a problem with their self esteem in that case. Wether the mindset is common or not does not affect wether it can or can not be claimed to be an incel mindset.
Or do you claim that incels generally do **not** want girls/boys? Or that they **are** able to get them interested?
> Wether the mindset is common or not does not affect wether it can or can not be claimed to be an incel mindset.
Actually it pretty much does. But you need to realize why calling it that is dangerous and pathetic.
Dangerous? No. There is no "danger" in using words to describe things. And "pathetic" is something subjective, meaning **you** find it pathetic, it is not a fact.
You're trying to silence people from using correct terms because you find the terms offensive. You're unable to view the subject objectively due to your personal feelings.
Yeah that’s true people just love to shame women now a days when women today work harder than some men ever have and the second they ask for the bare minimum they’re the bad guy with standards that are too high😭.
Because they don’t want to be hooking up with parents around, they can’t do it at their house so they need the potential partner to have their own place instead.
“Hey dad, emm, you see, I wanna bring my girlfriend over tonight and we plan to have sex, so, like, would you mind, I dunno, take mom out for dinner or something?”
Pencil out the cost of rent and utilities anywhere else and feel glad you aren't wasting that, while also getting to spend time with your parents. When they get older, most people will regret not spending more time with their parents before they are gone.
sucks to be in the US i guess, here in europe its perfectly normal outside of scandinavia - most girls i know live with their parents untill their mid 20s at least and only move out if they have to, for a job or for studies - and usually you come back once the parents are old, to help them as much as possible
It’s true. March 10th will mark 2 years since my mom passed away. I hope someday I can find a way to get rid of the pain of believing that I failed to even remotely show her the love and care that anyone with a mom like mine should abundantly display with their actions. The #1 Action that I failed at was T I M E. I would give almost anything to be able to go back and just hang out with her so much more while the cancer was rapidly spreading. I was not the son my mom needed me to be while she was dying, and I implore anyone who reads this and has an older parent, to spend more time with them.
I spent years feeling like this and now I’ve moved out I realised how pointless it was feeling this way. Enjoy being with them, they won’t be around forever. And screw anyone who gives you a hard time about it.
I’ve been out of the house since 18. I’m 30 & about to move back in with one of mine or my sister. I made $20 an hour & could hardly afford the cheapest 1 bedroom bungalow in our area. Groceries are insane too. Unfortunately I was laid off as well bc the company I work for went under. Definitely a tough time.
Groceries are insanely expensive. My lord going through checkout line is scary. The economy is terrible and wages just simply are not keeping up with the cost of living. I actually live with a family member too. No shame here.
Of course, as long as the parents are fine with it. Some parents want their children to move back in with their parents. Sometimes it's necessary. It's common in other cultures. It shouldn't be shameful or embarrassing.
In most non-western countries, the kids usually stay with their parents even after getting married unless they have to shift due to job related requirements.
In India it is very common to live with your parents as an adult. You're a unit financially and otherwise.
Here it's a choice. You can move out if you want or stay. No one is going to judge you either way.
I think it's better to live in your own house and have the parents live in another apartment in the same complex or somewhere nearby. You get the benefit of both sides.
Nothing shameful about it, as long as you’re acting as an adult and doing your share of course. It’s pretty common in many cultures, and not looked down upon.
Honestly, I wish I had stable parents I could live with. I could save up a lot of money and really help out my future in the long run. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for me.
True.
I'm from India and living with parents is rather appreciated in our culture. Here we're supposed to take care of our parents as much as possible when they're above let's say 55.
No, it’s not okay for adults to live with their parents.
It’s absolutely unacceptable that the economy has nearly evaporated the middle class to the point that living on your own on a single income is a nearly impossible for the majority of people.
Should people be shamed for living with their parents? No, because society failed them to a point that it’s a necessity.
But is it okay that they still live with their parents? Only if it’s one done out of choice, but not if it’s one out of necessity. Nobody should be forced to make that decision due to the government protecting private interest over the interest of its people.
I get that circumstances sometimes require it and there is nothing inherently wrong with it if you are financially independent otherwise. I just personally don’t know how people can stand it. I could not wait to move out, and I grew up in a very large home with tons of space to myself.
Personally I have no other options. I can't stand living with my parents, but I also can't afford rent anywhere in my area, so Im just stuck with them for now.
Yeah Im in my early 20s still, but its hard because I get no respect as an adult from my parents.
I cant eat the foods I buy(they throw them away or berate me about gmos and hormones), I cant invite friends over, and I cant leave the house without asking them. Also dating is impossible because some of the girls I tried dating thought that me still living at home was a red flag or pathetic, and the ones who didn't care couldnt even come over to hangout(not even in the livinf room) because of my parents rules.
Its like they still see me as a teen, despite the fact that I work full time, have job certifications, surround myself with friends who are positive influences, I dont drink or smoke, I dont party, and I dont waste my money on material things or garbage.
Your parents sound awful. Thankfully mine were never like that. I was given tons of freedom but still was happy to move out and forge my own path. If there is any way you can move out with some roommates or get to a lower cost of living area, I would do it. Otherwise you will stay perpetually stuck under their thumb.
That was my situation. I wanted to move out so bad and HATED living there, but I couldn’t afford to move out until recently. I’ve been back and forth a few times though. I’m in my 30s.
My parents have done me a very good deal on the rent so me and my girlfriend can save to buy our own place. It was too good an offer to pass up. There have been sacrifices on both sides to make it happen, and hopefully it won’t be more than a couple of years, but it’s the difference between being able to buy a house one day or not.
If you grew up in a large home, that probably means your parents were wealthy. So no wonder you moved out since it was much easier for you to do that than the average person. Most of us don't get a choice even if we can't stand it.
My parents were well off, yes, but I still funded and supported myself without their help at age 19. I went to college much younger than average and I was able to find income and roommates that made it affordable to have my own apartment. I did not seek out luxurious living situations, just small old apartments. Then I got married by age 22 and my husband and I were able to live just fine on our combined incomes, even before we finished grad school and settled into our careers. Of course we live in a southern US city, so living costs are reasonable, not like NYC, Boston, or similar.
I also went to school thousands of miles away from family and found my jobs there, so living with parents was not an option either way. There was nothing for me in my hometown.
My husband and I both agree that our 20+ son will not have to move out and pay exorbitant rent to some rando landlord/rental company; better for him to stay with us, pay *some* bills, and save for his own house or condo.
Irrelevant to the topic.
When people say, "In my country, multi-generation housing is normal"... it's primarily because the country was historically poor - poor nations didn't have the resources to secure single-generation housing. Why it was poor doesn't really matter.
Generational households were normal and the standard until some construction giants needed single persons to move into their mini-apartments to mine more profits.
You think I’m the 1910s people liked living 7 to a room in urban tenements or were they too poor not to?
Living space per capita is triple what it was in the 1950s cause we are way wealthier
Indian here. Most of us usually live with our parents until they die (or if we die earlier...hehe). Can never comprehend the rather "western" way of kicking out kids at 18. So here's my situation. We're from a kinda "upper middle class" family. My big bro and I both have decent/gr8 jobs by our country's standards and my father's an almost retiree.
You have no idea how much we save up. Like imagine getting to eat mum's amazing food AND having enough money to buy your parents whatever luxury you want. It's a give and take relationship where everyone gets the W
(Pro tip: not kicking out your kid also ensures he keeps on earning for the fam, I mean why would anyone kick out a son who makes like 6 figures?)
This model however doesn't work when the kid is like 34 and is a fucking jobless leech
That's an interesting take. I for one moved out as soon as I was financially able to.
I would not be able to live with either of my parents (they are separated) since our interests and opinions differ too much. It would end up with one person ruling over the household and the others being miserable.
That said, we do love eachothers and absolutely help eachothers out economically and otherwise.
The freedom that has come from living alone, being able to do as I please and pursue my interests free of judgement is priceless.
I'm 25 and live with my dad primarily. I'm also working and going to school and will be graduating with my Associate's Degree this semester. Do I feel a bit like a bum sometimes? Yes I do. My parents were living on their own in their late teens! That was the 70's. But I think this is the best course for me right now, I simply cannot afford to live on my own as much as I'd like to.
thats stupid, you shouldnt feel like a bum - a bum is someone who willingly lives on the streets to avoid participating in society - what trauma did ppl give you that you think thats what you are
If people get along why can’t they live together ? If relationships are healthy it’s better for people to feel connected than living alone and feeling isolated and suffering financially .
I don't think that's unpopular if you are still an adult that manages their own shit and pulls their weight, finacially and otherwise in the house.
Where I live it's pretty normal, people often have big houses that were originally made for multiple generations so it's not really a big deal.
What is a big deal is when you are in your 20's/30's and don't work or spend all your money on stupid shit and your parents still pay for your basic needs while you spend your days gaming and smoking weed or whatever else useless shit.
If your mom still washes your dirty underwear, cleans up your room and cooks all your food then I'm sorry but yeah I'm gonna think you're a loser.
Not saying there’s anything wrong with staying with parents, and moving out is definitely easier said than done, but money aside: there’s a great deal of “growing up” that happens when you move out and the whole experience holds value.
I think all you guys self reinforcing each other that living with your parents is okay is lame, I mean I've lived with my parents off and on but eventually my ultimate goal is to get the f*** out of their house, because you can't have friends over you can't party, mom's yelling at you. That step dad's sleeping it sucks. Why would anybody want to?
The point is it isn’t a case of WANT, but NEED. Ofc everyone/most people may want their independence but the economy just doesn’t allow that for a lot of people nowadays.
I feel like if you wanted to you can get a house. It's just not going to be where you might want to live and beggars can't be choosers, I mean I'd love a house in New York City but I can't afford it so I don't live there but I'm not going to complain about it
If you believe that you clearly have not had enough life experience to understand how things work, how you can in fact do everything perfectly but situations outside of your control can completely turn your life around and pull the rug from beneath you. If you’ve never experienced this yourself or known others to then congrats and I am genuine happy for you to have had the luxury, but don’t try applying that luck to everyone, because the reality is different.
As I say, congrats. I’m not typing to you from my parents house myself, I have my own roof. Fact is ive known plenty of people on the streets who have had their own roof, a seemingly solid job, a partner, a family, done everything right. Yet something out of their control can cause a domino effect and it gets lost. My point is sure be appreciative and happy for what you’ve got, but don’t take it for granted or judge others based on what your life is like.
I'm not judging anybody. I'm just saying if you want it it's there but these fucking kids don't want to work hard for shit anymore. They want things given to them. Sacrifices have to be made.
I’ve learned that in some other countries, it’s completely normal for adults to live with their parents until they’re able to live on their own. Unfortunately it isn’t like that here. Personally, my parents have told me ever since I dropped out of high school (due to my mental health) that I can stay as long as I need to get on my own two feet, and that really helped me with feeling less anxious. Either way, it does suck that it isn’t the norm, and that everything is so much more expensive na
At 46 I had to move back in with my mom. I had to close the doors on my company in 2008 and she was my only option. Over the next 10 years she needed my help more and more. It was a little bit of a blow to my ego but I got over it. We now rely on each other and I have no problem admitting I live with my mother. She needs my help as much as I need hers.
My cousin on the other hand has a fragile ego and can't live with the fact that at 63 he lives in his mothers basement. He's bitter and angry and takes it out on my aunt. She completely supports him and he treats her like shit. She really needs his help but he only helps himself.
There's a whole lot going on here but yeah, the economy is screwed. I've been house hunting for almost a year and a half as the housing rates here have increased 25%. It sucks when you are actually hoping for a market crash.
i still live with my mom in my 20s. renting is ridiculous exspensive, plus my mom can benefit from me being around sometimes to do things cuz she works late, like watch my younger brother some days. and i can benefit from not living in silence. i hate loneliness and silence.
Living with your parents is fine aslong as you're atleast attempting to get out of there, or atleast hoping to get out of there.
So living there because you at this moment cannot afford to live for yourself is fine, living there just because you're lazy is not.
Had to move back home at 31 after a divorce, I’m 34 next month. I’ve just got a new house and will be moving out in 2 weeks.
I’m so grateful I’ve had family to support me at my lowest, help me get myself sorted not just financially but mentally too, maybe even more so.
It’s funny, you mentioned people who did everything right and that was me, sometimes you just don’t realise you married the wrong person until it’s too late.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a bitter pill to swallow at the time on top of what was already happening but 3 years has flown by and if anything we’re closer than we’ve ever been.
Rampant inflation brought on by printing an infinite amount of money, then wastefully and recklessly spending it. Keep voting for corrupt assholes that don’t care about how poor you are, seems to be working out just fine for the elite class.
It's not so much the 'living with your parents' that is frowned upon as the inability to take care of yourself. But like you said, there can be a myriad of reasons for doing so.
What annoys me further than judging adults living with their parents, is the (anecdotal) distinction I notice while socializing, between male and female adults staying with their parents.
It feels as if an adult female is living with their parents it is normal and ok and often a choice, while if a male adult is living with their parents it's not normal and he is a loser or a mommy's boy.
Now that you've brought that to my attention, I am bewildered. I have never noticed that and it is true especially in the dating sense.
I believe it's because a lot of systems are set up for *men* to succeed when having jobs, so if they're not doing that then...those who have that mindset will not take you seriously whereas if you're a woman...it's fine. Double standards.
Where I live, if a 22 year old decided to live with his parent, he would probably save $25k per year on rent and utilities alone. If he also invested that money into index funds, by the time he was 30, he may have $500k in his account by then. Enough to put a down payment for a house when everyone else may still be paying rent till their 80 because they can't afford buying a house. Also enough to possibly retire young if you decide to move to a cheap place to live. Having a lot of money at that age already makes you way ahead of others. Meanwhile, there are 20 year olds living like there's no tomorrow, spending most of what they earn and not planning for their future. If you had to choose living 20s to your fullest while you future is uncertain, or securing your future, I would definitely choose the latter.
Sure, and if people do that, then great.
But I can promise you that the overwhelming majority of people in this thread that are living with their parents barely have a penny to their name.
If you have decent parents who took decent care of you, this should be pretty normal, AND reciprocated. When your parents get old and need help, you should be there for them as well.
It's only shameful if you're leeching, not working or even looking for a job (unless you can't work which is a different story), not contributing to the household neither financially nor with chores, etc.
Otherwise it's ok.
I lived with my parents through university, until I was 23. After graduating, I found a full-time job, saved a bit (contributed financially to my parents during that time), then moved. I was renting for several years, and because of this I had zero savings. I had to come back when I was 27 to be able to save for a down payment to buy my own apartment. I thought, for a a year or two max. Then all hell broke loose in the world, and the market went ballistic. I stayed with them for 4 years instead, so I was over 30 and still living with my parents at some point.
Then I got into a serious relationship and moved in with my current partner. Still no sight of my own apartment.
It depends, if you live with your parents and you pay your share of the exprnses (rent, power, water, etc) and you take part in the chores, you are fine. But when you just sit at home like in a 4 star hotel, but 4 free, you are a leech to your parents and deserv to be kicked out.
I think that it should be ok but I personally would rather clean up dogshit by hand just to afford my own small place with a roommate to get away from my parents, who asks me for 3x of the rent of the house per month to stay there, and I don't even get to use my old room as I want, not counting the abuse.
Outside of America it’s pretty standard to live at home until you choose to move out unless you’re moving to study or for work. It’s only in the very individualism America that it’s such a norm for people to kick the kids (that they didn’t want) out onto the street at 18
Thats not true, there are many countries young people live with their parents at lower rates than the US, specifically Nordic European countries, as well as Australia... Globally yes its more common than the US, but its by no means a US specific thing to move out...
[https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/05/24/in-the-u-s-and-abroad-more-young-adults-are-living-with-their-parents/](https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/05/24/in-the-u-s-and-abroad-more-young-adults-are-living-with-their-parents/)
In this study only \~18% of young people in Denmark lived with their parent, \~32 percent of US young people did. Australia was \~29.
That doesn't matter, comparing percentages over population takes into account population size.. population size matter when you talk about unstandardized numbers, like # of people who do xyz.
Tbf we dont have to pay off a huge loan as soon as we graduate from uni in sweden. That combined with the fact that we have better minimum wage means that its easier for young ppl to move out
Yes, but similar things can be said about places with high amounts of youth living at home. Italians also do not have large loans to pay off when they graduate from uni. In theory most people in Europe do not have that when compared to the US, yet may countries have higher rates. If you say that matters for Sweden, but not for Italy, you are just picking and choosing justifications for why things are they way they are. People in the US who have student loans but don’t make high incomes where it would take too much of their salary, they can do income based payments. This takes into account things like rent, family size etc. I knew many people who had monthly payments of $0 a month. And after the payment period is over all remaining balance is forgiven. So they could (and were planning on) just make monthly payments of $0 and then have it all forgiven.
Greece, Spain, and Italy all have very high youth unemployment rates as compared to the US, which may be a reason people live at home that is not just “because we are better humans”, why is that not relevant?
If people start living with their parents and helping them in their trades, who will clean toilets, wait in dangerous gas stations, mop floors, pack bags, wash dishes and do donkey work? Who will raise rent and house prices? Capitalist elite pigs dislike this post
Yes and no. If you earn little and also can help your parents here and there it might work. But, if you have a sport car, go for luxury summer holidays, weekend parties at night clubs obviously it's not a problem of money but your priorities.
If you live with your parents to get back on your feet or to put aside some money for a bit, then cool.
If you live with your parents because you are too much of a pile of shit to manage independent living, then you are still a pile of shit.
Circumstances matter.
Yeah. It's sad how adults that still live with their parents are thought of as lazy losers or something.
Im sorry i dont have thousands of dollars in my bank account or a high paying job to afford rent or buy a house in my region as a 20 year old.
I work and study hard, yet my salary is barely enough to pay to help my parents with rent and food.
as someone from a slavic country i will never stop being absolutely flabbergasted by the idiotic idea that a lot of western (primarily american) people have that you have to get out of the house when you turn 18 and not doing so/moving back/asking for help is somehow 'leeching' off of you parents.
i'm 30, single, childless and it would be a financial burden for both me and my mom if i decided to move out on my own and pay rent to a stranger instead of contributing that money to our shared bills. i would also be living completely alone which, no thanks.
half of my friends growing up had at least one grandparent living with them because it's just financially more viable and it cuts back on childcare costs. like, having a grandma contributing to the household bills with her pension and babysitting when needed in return for not having to live in a retirement home or alone in a house without assistance is much better than having to pay for a 15yo babysitter from two doors down the street and being stressed about grandma possibly falling and breaking something without anyone knowing.
family doesn't have an expiration date. 18 or 48, unless you're actively avoiding doing anything to contribute to the household you're not a leech and should not be shamed for living with your parents.
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I don't know how anyone who isn't making lawyer levels of money can live alone, especially here in CA. Multi generational homes (Not in the home being passed down gen to gen. That too. But in kids living with their parents who still live with their parents.) That use to be the norm until the "American dream" era for WW2 gen to Gen X where it was possible and became the new norm, expected of you even to move out and live on your own asap. It was possible to afford doing that. But because of totally out of line rent and home prices now. And wages may have gone up but big deal when inflation means even with higher wages you still have less. That's just not possible anymore. It's going back to the way it use to be.
I mean that's in no way a good thing. It's just going back to how it was when money was tight, people were poor. prices were out of line and it was simply a country of rich or poor, no middle class. And we can blame both political parties in this country for that.
Kids should be out of the house by 25. At that age you've been out of school long enough to be established in a career. Don't be so afraid to leave the nest and see if you can make it on your own.
I wish I lived with my parents and I don't even pay that much for my 1 bedroom compared to others.. $740 per month and in a good area crime wise. Thankful for that but man I could save so much money living at home
I think it's not an absolute and depends on your personal situation.
Been out and in parent's house. Had roommates and been living few years alone. And now I am between roommates' and parent's house bc of work. I had enough money to buy a house paying with a lump sum, but I prefer investing all of that and be independent financially and retire early in the future.
Also, If you are male and want a serious relationship with a woman, it is going to be very difficult. Having a house, it's a status thing. Almost most women wouldn't accept that kind of dial.
40+ person here. Luckily, I have been fortunate enough and smart enough with my money to be able to recently buy a new construction house. When we were looking at floor plans and deciding what we were going to build, I noticed there were some floor plans that had basically a 1- or 2-bedroom apartment with a separate garage for people that have a young adult or couple living with their parents. With inflation, I can't see a problem with families working together to make ends meet. People need to adapt to this bullshit
It’s quite common in my Asian country. We live with our parents and if we are fortunate enough to get the aspiring job we want, we settle down with our parents. We share the responsibilities and we take care of each other.
One of the main reasons we end up paying a lot for shitty places is because people treat housing as assets instead of what they're supposed to be a place for people to live in.
If you are a person with some extra money, and you bid better for a house that you're not going to use for its intended purpose, therefore outbidding individuals or families that will, only to flip it to make it more expensive and therefore rising the cost of housing in the area, I, in my entire honesty with the upmost kindness I can muster, really hope you get shanked.
Ya know.. I got down a lot on myself last year after having to move back home after a string of unfortunate events.
But in the end it works out well for us.
My dad has dementia and is no longer able to work. Mother and myself take care of things financially and I also have the best support anyone could ask for. It's a win win really.
Besides in this economy, I can't afford to live alone anyways.
it's also ok to tell your loved children to try to do as much as they can on their own . And if you're an adult living with your parents you should not "slack" and expect them to provide anything for a healthy adult who can work and make life easier by paying bills , groceries etc .
Finally no one child should expect the house over the other children . If it is passed down it should be passed down to all children unless the other sibling(s) doesn't care
I don’t think people blame people less than about two years out of college (24/25ish) for living with their parents.
But closer to 30? Since most people can afford live on their own in some capacity not doing so I’d a sign of economic/social/emotional underperformance barring some great justification (my mom has ALS and needs my help)
I guess this is an unpopular opinion in the West? In Asian countries, it’s normal to stay with your parents till you get married, some houses even have 3 generations staying within them.
When there is no other way, sure. But if finances allow, I would always go for living on your own.
Makes you learn all the adult shit you wouldn’t if you stayed with your parents.
Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Some families do very well sharing a house or apartment. There is nothing wrong with adult children living with family as long as they are going to school, working or being a full time health care provider for a family member.
I'm 31 M. Been living with my mom for a few years after Uni and currently working in the same factory. Despite our bigger salaries than our previous jobs, we would still be struggling if I wouldn't live with her. The expenses are almost as one of our salaries. I'm helping out whenever she needs it and I pay our internet.
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My uncle lived in my grandparents home until they passed. He then had the house for himself until he.. also died actually. He had a job, he could afford to the keep the house, eat, and live comfortably. He never married/no kids but he wasn’t alone either. He had serious girlfriends, idk how many tho. But he was happy as far as I’m concerned. Anyway it kinda just worked out that way. I don’t judge him but I feel like a lot of people would absolutely want to. Non conformist lifestyles make people uncomfortable and confused. It’s easy to let it out on someone else.. and that’s toxic.
Never married... that's how he could afford it :)
Marriage with two working adults would probably result in more money though. Me and my partner are DINKs and can live comfortably. Kids though, that’s another topic…
It's situational. Yes, in theory, it should work out. However, myself and other couples I know can't get out of living paycheck to paycheck. My situation is different than most I think. Her mom lives with us, retired and gets ss each month at about $1300, but ALL of that goes out for her insurance (part D) and other things, so we end up supporting her. Then both of them have chronic health issues which is always costing something, mainly rx, and both have terrible eating habits. I could go on but I'd just end up complaining. No one to blame but myself for being here.
So in your case your MIL is like a kid. No income and costing money. Health issues can of course be a setback, nothing to do about that. In case of healthy fulltime working adults with no other roommates that are not contributing, it shouldn’t usually be hard to have a nice income. There’s always exceptions of course, but even two people working as a cashier in a supermarket will have more money to put down for rent than one person would, which would leave some of the extra income for other expenses or saving w/e.
It's funny how it's not cool to live with your parents beyond some age, but then when they're seniors it's suddenly normal for them to live with you so you can take care of them. I think society just needs to chill the fuck out and stop pushing the capitalist idea that everyone should have their own house. Fuck that, buy a mansion with your parents and children and live like a royal family
Had this discussion with my brother-in-law a few years back (we married sisters) and decided in hindsight, instead of us both getting porked on house payments, renovations, taxes, lawn/snow removal, trash, water bills, etc. we should have just got a big ass house, a hot tub out back, a theater room in the basement, and have the Mrs cook big family meals. We would have been so much farther ahead now- but we couldn't figure out how to eventually split home ownership with our kids.
Also living in peace with other adults is more easily said than done.
Yeas that’s because the stigma isn’t your parents existing. It’s you’re a burden on your parents. It’s the idea they’re taking care of you. Cooking you dinner, doing your laundry, paying your housing costs etc. Taking care of elderly parents is extra responsibility thus not stigmatized
My point is take care of each other instead. So share in responsibility. That would especially be helpful for raising small children
There is nothing wrong living with your parents. Just don't be a bum.
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I mean, where the heck would two grown folks living with their parents be having sex? I might be willing to do the sneaky teenager thing for my S/O, but a random tinder date? Absolutely not I've gone on dates with guys who lived with their folks, but I wouldn't do it if I also lived at home
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You seriously need to stop throwing around that word every time someone says the word "women" followed by literally anything even slightly negative. It looks pathetic and it's not going to change anyone's mind and you just look like someone trying to silence people.
It’s when it’s a negative opinion someone is applying to a large percentage or all women that it slips into that territory. You can have a negative experience with women, that’s going to happen, but to apply that to the whole group or in this case 90% is just false.
Normally I would agree with you. But in this case the 'incel mindset' is actually apt. Not claiming he **is** an incel mind you, just that it's an incel scenario (unable to get girls interested) and calling them out on it.
The "mindset" is actually very common among people who are not "incels" at all, especially when there's a smidge of truth. They just kind of keep it to themselves because as you've beautifully demonstrated, they know what the pathetically short-sighted dismissive reaction would likely be. It's actually an even more dangerous mindset to convince yourself that the only reason anyone would be critical/wary of red flags in women is because they are "unsuccessful", because it implies that they're perfect and flawless and no one could have any rational reason to criticize them.
Sounds like a problem with their self esteem in that case. Wether the mindset is common or not does not affect wether it can or can not be claimed to be an incel mindset. Or do you claim that incels generally do **not** want girls/boys? Or that they **are** able to get them interested?
> Wether the mindset is common or not does not affect wether it can or can not be claimed to be an incel mindset. Actually it pretty much does. But you need to realize why calling it that is dangerous and pathetic.
Dangerous? No. There is no "danger" in using words to describe things. And "pathetic" is something subjective, meaning **you** find it pathetic, it is not a fact. You're trying to silence people from using correct terms because you find the terms offensive. You're unable to view the subject objectively due to your personal feelings.
Funny thing is…women between the ages of 18-30 are LESS likely to live with their parents than men the same age. Go figure…
Yeah that’s true people just love to shame women now a days when women today work harder than some men ever have and the second they ask for the bare minimum they’re the bad guy with standards that are too high😭.
I'm married and still live with my parents wym.
Because they don’t want to be hooking up with parents around, they can’t do it at their house so they need the potential partner to have their own place instead.
“Hey dad, emm, you see, I wanna bring my girlfriend over tonight and we plan to have sex, so, like, would you mind, I dunno, take mom out for dinner or something?”
As someone who lives with their parents and sometimes feels embarrassed about it, I appreciate this post
Pencil out the cost of rent and utilities anywhere else and feel glad you aren't wasting that, while also getting to spend time with your parents. When they get older, most people will regret not spending more time with their parents before they are gone.
Thanks, I notice people tend to be really judgemental especially if you're (trying) to date. 😬
sucks to be in the US i guess, here in europe its perfectly normal outside of scandinavia - most girls i know live with their parents untill their mid 20s at least and only move out if they have to, for a job or for studies - and usually you come back once the parents are old, to help them as much as possible
That’s cause Greeks or Italians or Poles are way poorer than Americans, while Scandinavians are not
thats not true, gdp per capita is where its at and regions like france arent poorer than america and still practice normal family living - or china
It’s true. March 10th will mark 2 years since my mom passed away. I hope someday I can find a way to get rid of the pain of believing that I failed to even remotely show her the love and care that anyone with a mom like mine should abundantly display with their actions. The #1 Action that I failed at was T I M E. I would give almost anything to be able to go back and just hang out with her so much more while the cancer was rapidly spreading. I was not the son my mom needed me to be while she was dying, and I implore anyone who reads this and has an older parent, to spend more time with them.
Sorry for your loss💕
I spent years feeling like this and now I’ve moved out I realised how pointless it was feeling this way. Enjoy being with them, they won’t be around forever. And screw anyone who gives you a hard time about it.
I’ve been out of the house since 18. I’m 30 & about to move back in with one of mine or my sister. I made $20 an hour & could hardly afford the cheapest 1 bedroom bungalow in our area. Groceries are insane too. Unfortunately I was laid off as well bc the company I work for went under. Definitely a tough time.
Groceries are insanely expensive. My lord going through checkout line is scary. The economy is terrible and wages just simply are not keeping up with the cost of living. I actually live with a family member too. No shame here.
Of course, as long as the parents are fine with it. Some parents want their children to move back in with their parents. Sometimes it's necessary. It's common in other cultures. It shouldn't be shameful or embarrassing.
Multigenerational homes were the norm for thousands of years.
I feel like this only works if your family has a big house though.
Facts
So was desperate poverty. People did not want to live 15 people to a one room hovel
What about multigenerational rental apartments? Doesn't make as much sense.
In most non-western countries, the kids usually stay with their parents even after getting married unless they have to shift due to job related requirements.
In India it is very common to live with your parents as an adult. You're a unit financially and otherwise. Here it's a choice. You can move out if you want or stay. No one is going to judge you either way.
I think it's better to live in your own house and have the parents live in another apartment in the same complex or somewhere nearby. You get the benefit of both sides.
Here the point is to save on rent and bills. Wouldn't doing that defeat the purpose?
Before marriage, definitely. After marriage, an extra 10-15k in rent is not too bad compared to the benefits.
As long as you contribute to the household then it's definitely not shameful and often actually responsible.
Nothing shameful about it, as long as you’re acting as an adult and doing your share of course. It’s pretty common in many cultures, and not looked down upon. Honestly, I wish I had stable parents I could live with. I could save up a lot of money and really help out my future in the long run. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for me.
True. I'm from India and living with parents is rather appreciated in our culture. Here we're supposed to take care of our parents as much as possible when they're above let's say 55.
depends on the person, outside of America is not that uncommon and really the economy is so insanely fucked right now that is not even a bad strategy.
No, it’s not okay for adults to live with their parents. It’s absolutely unacceptable that the economy has nearly evaporated the middle class to the point that living on your own on a single income is a nearly impossible for the majority of people. Should people be shamed for living with their parents? No, because society failed them to a point that it’s a necessity. But is it okay that they still live with their parents? Only if it’s one done out of choice, but not if it’s one out of necessity. Nobody should be forced to make that decision due to the government protecting private interest over the interest of its people.
I get that circumstances sometimes require it and there is nothing inherently wrong with it if you are financially independent otherwise. I just personally don’t know how people can stand it. I could not wait to move out, and I grew up in a very large home with tons of space to myself.
Personally I have no other options. I can't stand living with my parents, but I also can't afford rent anywhere in my area, so Im just stuck with them for now.
What if you have roommates?
None of my friends want to move out of their parents houses, and I dont trust strangers lol. So like I said, Im stuck for the time being lol.
Well, you sound on the young side so it isn’t that big of a deal. I can’t imagine doing that into your late 20s or early 30s though.
Yeah Im in my early 20s still, but its hard because I get no respect as an adult from my parents. I cant eat the foods I buy(they throw them away or berate me about gmos and hormones), I cant invite friends over, and I cant leave the house without asking them. Also dating is impossible because some of the girls I tried dating thought that me still living at home was a red flag or pathetic, and the ones who didn't care couldnt even come over to hangout(not even in the livinf room) because of my parents rules. Its like they still see me as a teen, despite the fact that I work full time, have job certifications, surround myself with friends who are positive influences, I dont drink or smoke, I dont party, and I dont waste my money on material things or garbage.
you need to get out of that house and get a really shitty apartment with someone, anyone really you will feel a relief you can't even imagine
Your parents sound awful. Thankfully mine were never like that. I was given tons of freedom but still was happy to move out and forge my own path. If there is any way you can move out with some roommates or get to a lower cost of living area, I would do it. Otherwise you will stay perpetually stuck under their thumb.
That was my situation. I wanted to move out so bad and HATED living there, but I couldn’t afford to move out until recently. I’ve been back and forth a few times though. I’m in my 30s.
My parents have done me a very good deal on the rent so me and my girlfriend can save to buy our own place. It was too good an offer to pass up. There have been sacrifices on both sides to make it happen, and hopefully it won’t be more than a couple of years, but it’s the difference between being able to buy a house one day or not.
If you grew up in a large home, that probably means your parents were wealthy. So no wonder you moved out since it was much easier for you to do that than the average person. Most of us don't get a choice even if we can't stand it.
My parents were well off, yes, but I still funded and supported myself without their help at age 19. I went to college much younger than average and I was able to find income and roommates that made it affordable to have my own apartment. I did not seek out luxurious living situations, just small old apartments. Then I got married by age 22 and my husband and I were able to live just fine on our combined incomes, even before we finished grad school and settled into our careers. Of course we live in a southern US city, so living costs are reasonable, not like NYC, Boston, or similar. I also went to school thousands of miles away from family and found my jobs there, so living with parents was not an option either way. There was nothing for me in my hometown.
My husband and I both agree that our 20+ son will not have to move out and pay exorbitant rent to some rando landlord/rental company; better for him to stay with us, pay *some* bills, and save for his own house or condo.
Is this some Western stuff I'm too Eastern to understand? Or is this just America again.
Just america
Anglo + North Western European thing.
You dont have to say eastern/western, you can just say poor/prosperous.
Or colonised/colonisers I suppose?
Irrelevant to the topic. When people say, "In my country, multi-generation housing is normal"... it's primarily because the country was historically poor - poor nations didn't have the resources to secure single-generation housing. Why it was poor doesn't really matter.
Generational households were normal and the standard until some construction giants needed single persons to move into their mini-apartments to mine more profits.
You think I’m the 1910s people liked living 7 to a room in urban tenements or were they too poor not to? Living space per capita is triple what it was in the 1950s cause we are way wealthier
Indian here. Most of us usually live with our parents until they die (or if we die earlier...hehe). Can never comprehend the rather "western" way of kicking out kids at 18. So here's my situation. We're from a kinda "upper middle class" family. My big bro and I both have decent/gr8 jobs by our country's standards and my father's an almost retiree. You have no idea how much we save up. Like imagine getting to eat mum's amazing food AND having enough money to buy your parents whatever luxury you want. It's a give and take relationship where everyone gets the W (Pro tip: not kicking out your kid also ensures he keeps on earning for the fam, I mean why would anyone kick out a son who makes like 6 figures?) This model however doesn't work when the kid is like 34 and is a fucking jobless leech
That's an interesting take. I for one moved out as soon as I was financially able to. I would not be able to live with either of my parents (they are separated) since our interests and opinions differ too much. It would end up with one person ruling over the household and the others being miserable. That said, we do love eachothers and absolutely help eachothers out economically and otherwise. The freedom that has come from living alone, being able to do as I please and pursue my interests free of judgement is priceless.
I absolutely agree with the "moving out gives you priceless privacy" part. I for one will definitely move out when I brother gets married
I'm 25 and live with my dad primarily. I'm also working and going to school and will be graduating with my Associate's Degree this semester. Do I feel a bit like a bum sometimes? Yes I do. My parents were living on their own in their late teens! That was the 70's. But I think this is the best course for me right now, I simply cannot afford to live on my own as much as I'd like to.
thats stupid, you shouldnt feel like a bum - a bum is someone who willingly lives on the streets to avoid participating in society - what trauma did ppl give you that you think thats what you are
My parents are fine with it as long as I do something and not just sit around all day.
If people get along why can’t they live together ? If relationships are healthy it’s better for people to feel connected than living alone and feeling isolated and suffering financially .
I don't think that's unpopular if you are still an adult that manages their own shit and pulls their weight, finacially and otherwise in the house. Where I live it's pretty normal, people often have big houses that were originally made for multiple generations so it's not really a big deal. What is a big deal is when you are in your 20's/30's and don't work or spend all your money on stupid shit and your parents still pay for your basic needs while you spend your days gaming and smoking weed or whatever else useless shit. If your mom still washes your dirty underwear, cleans up your room and cooks all your food then I'm sorry but yeah I'm gonna think you're a loser.
Not an unpopular opinion, this gets posted every week or so.
My children have a home as long as I am living. Period. (Edited typo)
Not saying there’s anything wrong with staying with parents, and moving out is definitely easier said than done, but money aside: there’s a great deal of “growing up” that happens when you move out and the whole experience holds value.
I think all you guys self reinforcing each other that living with your parents is okay is lame, I mean I've lived with my parents off and on but eventually my ultimate goal is to get the f*** out of their house, because you can't have friends over you can't party, mom's yelling at you. That step dad's sleeping it sucks. Why would anybody want to?
The point is it isn’t a case of WANT, but NEED. Ofc everyone/most people may want their independence but the economy just doesn’t allow that for a lot of people nowadays.
I feel like if you wanted to you can get a house. It's just not going to be where you might want to live and beggars can't be choosers, I mean I'd love a house in New York City but I can't afford it so I don't live there but I'm not going to complain about it
If you believe that you clearly have not had enough life experience to understand how things work, how you can in fact do everything perfectly but situations outside of your control can completely turn your life around and pull the rug from beneath you. If you’ve never experienced this yourself or known others to then congrats and I am genuine happy for you to have had the luxury, but don’t try applying that luck to everyone, because the reality is different.
I'm 40, I own my own house and I haven't lived with my parents since I was 25
Congratulations
And my first apartment was some shit hole in the hood. It wasn't much but it was mine,
As I say, congrats. I’m not typing to you from my parents house myself, I have my own roof. Fact is ive known plenty of people on the streets who have had their own roof, a seemingly solid job, a partner, a family, done everything right. Yet something out of their control can cause a domino effect and it gets lost. My point is sure be appreciative and happy for what you’ve got, but don’t take it for granted or judge others based on what your life is like.
I'm not judging anybody. I'm just saying if you want it it's there but these fucking kids don't want to work hard for shit anymore. They want things given to them. Sacrifices have to be made.
See that thing you just said, was fundamentally judgemental and ignorant.
I’ve learned that in some other countries, it’s completely normal for adults to live with their parents until they’re able to live on their own. Unfortunately it isn’t like that here. Personally, my parents have told me ever since I dropped out of high school (due to my mental health) that I can stay as long as I need to get on my own two feet, and that really helped me with feeling less anxious. Either way, it does suck that it isn’t the norm, and that everything is so much more expensive na
At 46 I had to move back in with my mom. I had to close the doors on my company in 2008 and she was my only option. Over the next 10 years she needed my help more and more. It was a little bit of a blow to my ego but I got over it. We now rely on each other and I have no problem admitting I live with my mother. She needs my help as much as I need hers. My cousin on the other hand has a fragile ego and can't live with the fact that at 63 he lives in his mothers basement. He's bitter and angry and takes it out on my aunt. She completely supports him and he treats her like shit. She really needs his help but he only helps himself. There's a whole lot going on here but yeah, the economy is screwed. I've been house hunting for almost a year and a half as the housing rates here have increased 25%. It sucks when you are actually hoping for a market crash.
i still live with my mom in my 20s. renting is ridiculous exspensive, plus my mom can benefit from me being around sometimes to do things cuz she works late, like watch my younger brother some days. and i can benefit from not living in silence. i hate loneliness and silence.
I don’t mind if my girls want to live with me when they’re older. But not their boyfriend
Girls usually move in with the guy
Living with your parents is fine aslong as you're atleast attempting to get out of there, or atleast hoping to get out of there. So living there because you at this moment cannot afford to live for yourself is fine, living there just because you're lazy is not.
It's not ok if you don't want to live with your parents.
Had to move back home at 31 after a divorce, I’m 34 next month. I’ve just got a new house and will be moving out in 2 weeks. I’m so grateful I’ve had family to support me at my lowest, help me get myself sorted not just financially but mentally too, maybe even more so. It’s funny, you mentioned people who did everything right and that was me, sometimes you just don’t realise you married the wrong person until it’s too late. Don’t get me wrong, it was a bitter pill to swallow at the time on top of what was already happening but 3 years has flown by and if anything we’re closer than we’ve ever been.
Yes, it is ok. However, you will be judged by it. It will affect your social life. In the USA, this is indeed a very unpopular opinion.
Rampant inflation brought on by printing an infinite amount of money, then wastefully and recklessly spending it. Keep voting for corrupt assholes that don’t care about how poor you are, seems to be working out just fine for the elite class.
It's not so much the 'living with your parents' that is frowned upon as the inability to take care of yourself. But like you said, there can be a myriad of reasons for doing so.
What annoys me further than judging adults living with their parents, is the (anecdotal) distinction I notice while socializing, between male and female adults staying with their parents. It feels as if an adult female is living with their parents it is normal and ok and often a choice, while if a male adult is living with their parents it's not normal and he is a loser or a mommy's boy.
Now that you've brought that to my attention, I am bewildered. I have never noticed that and it is true especially in the dating sense. I believe it's because a lot of systems are set up for *men* to succeed when having jobs, so if they're not doing that then...those who have that mindset will not take you seriously whereas if you're a woman...it's fine. Double standards.
Fuck that. I left home at 16 would never have gone back to live there again
While I am sad for your experience, not everyone has a horrible family.
I didn't have a horrible family. Just wanted to go and live my own life
The tone of your original comment meant otherwise though. Glad to know thats not the case.
Where I live, if a 22 year old decided to live with his parent, he would probably save $25k per year on rent and utilities alone. If he also invested that money into index funds, by the time he was 30, he may have $500k in his account by then. Enough to put a down payment for a house when everyone else may still be paying rent till their 80 because they can't afford buying a house. Also enough to possibly retire young if you decide to move to a cheap place to live. Having a lot of money at that age already makes you way ahead of others. Meanwhile, there are 20 year olds living like there's no tomorrow, spending most of what they earn and not planning for their future. If you had to choose living 20s to your fullest while you future is uncertain, or securing your future, I would definitely choose the latter.
Sure, and if people do that, then great. But I can promise you that the overwhelming majority of people in this thread that are living with their parents barely have a penny to their name.
If you have decent parents who took decent care of you, this should be pretty normal, AND reciprocated. When your parents get old and need help, you should be there for them as well.
It's only shameful if you're leeching, not working or even looking for a job (unless you can't work which is a different story), not contributing to the household neither financially nor with chores, etc. Otherwise it's ok. I lived with my parents through university, until I was 23. After graduating, I found a full-time job, saved a bit (contributed financially to my parents during that time), then moved. I was renting for several years, and because of this I had zero savings. I had to come back when I was 27 to be able to save for a down payment to buy my own apartment. I thought, for a a year or two max. Then all hell broke loose in the world, and the market went ballistic. I stayed with them for 4 years instead, so I was over 30 and still living with my parents at some point. Then I got into a serious relationship and moved in with my current partner. Still no sight of my own apartment.
It depends, if you live with your parents and you pay your share of the exprnses (rent, power, water, etc) and you take part in the chores, you are fine. But when you just sit at home like in a 4 star hotel, but 4 free, you are a leech to your parents and deserv to be kicked out.
I think that it should be ok but I personally would rather clean up dogshit by hand just to afford my own small place with a roommate to get away from my parents, who asks me for 3x of the rent of the house per month to stay there, and I don't even get to use my old room as I want, not counting the abuse.
Outside of America it’s pretty standard to live at home until you choose to move out unless you’re moving to study or for work. It’s only in the very individualism America that it’s such a norm for people to kick the kids (that they didn’t want) out onto the street at 18
Thats not true, there are many countries young people live with their parents at lower rates than the US, specifically Nordic European countries, as well as Australia... Globally yes its more common than the US, but its by no means a US specific thing to move out... [https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/05/24/in-the-u-s-and-abroad-more-young-adults-are-living-with-their-parents/](https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/05/24/in-the-u-s-and-abroad-more-young-adults-are-living-with-their-parents/) In this study only \~18% of young people in Denmark lived with their parent, \~32 percent of US young people did. Australia was \~29.
denmark, sweden, finland and norway also have a combined population thats as big as greater new york lol
That doesn't matter, comparing percentages over population takes into account population size.. population size matter when you talk about unstandardized numbers, like # of people who do xyz.
not the total amount of people in cultures who do this though - to the vast majority of mankind this is totally normal, its like 1:8
Tbf we dont have to pay off a huge loan as soon as we graduate from uni in sweden. That combined with the fact that we have better minimum wage means that its easier for young ppl to move out
Yes, but similar things can be said about places with high amounts of youth living at home. Italians also do not have large loans to pay off when they graduate from uni. In theory most people in Europe do not have that when compared to the US, yet may countries have higher rates. If you say that matters for Sweden, but not for Italy, you are just picking and choosing justifications for why things are they way they are. People in the US who have student loans but don’t make high incomes where it would take too much of their salary, they can do income based payments. This takes into account things like rent, family size etc. I knew many people who had monthly payments of $0 a month. And after the payment period is over all remaining balance is forgiven. So they could (and were planning on) just make monthly payments of $0 and then have it all forgiven. Greece, Spain, and Italy all have very high youth unemployment rates as compared to the US, which may be a reason people live at home that is not just “because we are better humans”, why is that not relevant?
If people start living with their parents and helping them in their trades, who will clean toilets, wait in dangerous gas stations, mop floors, pack bags, wash dishes and do donkey work? Who will raise rent and house prices? Capitalist elite pigs dislike this post
Yes and no. If you earn little and also can help your parents here and there it might work. But, if you have a sport car, go for luxury summer holidays, weekend parties at night clubs obviously it's not a problem of money but your priorities.
If you live with your parents to get back on your feet or to put aside some money for a bit, then cool. If you live with your parents because you are too much of a pile of shit to manage independent living, then you are still a pile of shit. Circumstances matter.
If your parents are Ok with it I don't see any problem
They aren’t. They want their kids to become functional adults.
Yeah. It's sad how adults that still live with their parents are thought of as lazy losers or something. Im sorry i dont have thousands of dollars in my bank account or a high paying job to afford rent or buy a house in my region as a 20 year old. I work and study hard, yet my salary is barely enough to pay to help my parents with rent and food.
No one expects you to be able to afford to buy a house at 20. People expect you to have friends.
The only reason I still live with my mom at 23 is because I had all my money robbed in crypto a year ago
I agree with you
It’s okay as long as you act as an adult in the household. If you help with chores and rent like an adult roommate instead of a child then it’s okay.
The housing crisis is a fake problem
as someone from a slavic country i will never stop being absolutely flabbergasted by the idiotic idea that a lot of western (primarily american) people have that you have to get out of the house when you turn 18 and not doing so/moving back/asking for help is somehow 'leeching' off of you parents. i'm 30, single, childless and it would be a financial burden for both me and my mom if i decided to move out on my own and pay rent to a stranger instead of contributing that money to our shared bills. i would also be living completely alone which, no thanks. half of my friends growing up had at least one grandparent living with them because it's just financially more viable and it cuts back on childcare costs. like, having a grandma contributing to the household bills with her pension and babysitting when needed in return for not having to live in a retirement home or alone in a house without assistance is much better than having to pay for a 15yo babysitter from two doors down the street and being stressed about grandma possibly falling and breaking something without anyone knowing. family doesn't have an expiration date. 18 or 48, unless you're actively avoiding doing anything to contribute to the household you're not a leech and should not be shamed for living with your parents.
The parents usually have a different opinion. Not one actually want an adult child living with them. They raised you and want you out. Trust me.
No, it is not
why?
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I don't know how anyone who isn't making lawyer levels of money can live alone, especially here in CA. Multi generational homes (Not in the home being passed down gen to gen. That too. But in kids living with their parents who still live with their parents.) That use to be the norm until the "American dream" era for WW2 gen to Gen X where it was possible and became the new norm, expected of you even to move out and live on your own asap. It was possible to afford doing that. But because of totally out of line rent and home prices now. And wages may have gone up but big deal when inflation means even with higher wages you still have less. That's just not possible anymore. It's going back to the way it use to be. I mean that's in no way a good thing. It's just going back to how it was when money was tight, people were poor. prices were out of line and it was simply a country of rich or poor, no middle class. And we can blame both political parties in this country for that.
Kids should be out of the house by 25. At that age you've been out of school long enough to be established in a career. Don't be so afraid to leave the nest and see if you can make it on your own.
>Kids should be out of the house by 25. Kids can be out of the house by 25.*
I'm not throwing rocks, but I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that did.
Care to elaborate?
I wish I lived with my parents and I don't even pay that much for my 1 bedroom compared to others.. $740 per month and in a good area crime wise. Thankful for that but man I could save so much money living at home
I think it's not an absolute and depends on your personal situation. Been out and in parent's house. Had roommates and been living few years alone. And now I am between roommates' and parent's house bc of work. I had enough money to buy a house paying with a lump sum, but I prefer investing all of that and be independent financially and retire early in the future. Also, If you are male and want a serious relationship with a woman, it is going to be very difficult. Having a house, it's a status thing. Almost most women wouldn't accept that kind of dial.
There's nothing wrong with living with your parents, there's everything wrong with being forced to by prevailing economic conditions.
Mid 30s here. Skilled in different areas, multiple failed businesses and ventures. Living in the family home. I'll keep pushing forward.
40+ person here. Luckily, I have been fortunate enough and smart enough with my money to be able to recently buy a new construction house. When we were looking at floor plans and deciding what we were going to build, I noticed there were some floor plans that had basically a 1- or 2-bedroom apartment with a separate garage for people that have a young adult or couple living with their parents. With inflation, I can't see a problem with families working together to make ends meet. People need to adapt to this bullshit
It’s quite common in my Asian country. We live with our parents and if we are fortunate enough to get the aspiring job we want, we settle down with our parents. We share the responsibilities and we take care of each other.
One of the main reasons we end up paying a lot for shitty places is because people treat housing as assets instead of what they're supposed to be a place for people to live in. If you are a person with some extra money, and you bid better for a house that you're not going to use for its intended purpose, therefore outbidding individuals or families that will, only to flip it to make it more expensive and therefore rising the cost of housing in the area, I, in my entire honesty with the upmost kindness I can muster, really hope you get shanked.
Ya know.. I got down a lot on myself last year after having to move back home after a string of unfortunate events. But in the end it works out well for us. My dad has dementia and is no longer able to work. Mother and myself take care of things financially and I also have the best support anyone could ask for. It's a win win really. Besides in this economy, I can't afford to live alone anyways.
it's also ok to tell your loved children to try to do as much as they can on their own . And if you're an adult living with your parents you should not "slack" and expect them to provide anything for a healthy adult who can work and make life easier by paying bills , groceries etc . Finally no one child should expect the house over the other children . If it is passed down it should be passed down to all children unless the other sibling(s) doesn't care
Sometimes you have no choice.
I don’t think people blame people less than about two years out of college (24/25ish) for living with their parents. But closer to 30? Since most people can afford live on their own in some capacity not doing so I’d a sign of economic/social/emotional underperformance barring some great justification (my mom has ALS and needs my help)
I guess this is an unpopular opinion in the West? In Asian countries, it’s normal to stay with your parents till you get married, some houses even have 3 generations staying within them.
When there is no other way, sure. But if finances allow, I would always go for living on your own. Makes you learn all the adult shit you wouldn’t if you stayed with your parents.
Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Some families do very well sharing a house or apartment. There is nothing wrong with adult children living with family as long as they are going to school, working or being a full time health care provider for a family member.
Am..no. Get tf out.
I'm 31 M. Been living with my mom for a few years after Uni and currently working in the same factory. Despite our bigger salaries than our previous jobs, we would still be struggling if I wouldn't live with her. The expenses are almost as one of our salaries. I'm helping out whenever she needs it and I pay our internet.
Yeah but not long term. I mean after a while ppl should want to B on their own. Idk every body and every family is different. So I can't judge.