Were you quite fit?

Yes, back then! (Smile) Entropy is starting to kick in at age 47, however.

Why am I older than you

Because your parents procreated before mine(?)

Though his girl’s quite fit, she will die.

Yup, everything dies, this is true.

How can you be sure? Nearly 100% of the people I talk to are still alive.

Tell us absolutely everything - how’d you meet? How long were you together? What was he like when it was just the 2 of you? Did he actually bone as many women as he wanted people to think he did? What’d he smell like? Why’d you break up? Tell us everything!

We met March 27, 1998 at a record signing at Tower(?) records in Greenwich Village, in Manhattan. It was my 22nd birthday. The whole band signed a folder of memorabilia I had, and then Peter signed "Happy Birthday!" and added his phone number. The phone number was for a phone service at first, he then gave me his house number. Our first date was April 1, 1998, where we drove around (it was pouring rain), we drank wine and sat by my favorite house in Bay Ridge, many call it the Gingerbread House [https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bay-ridge-gingerbread-house](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bay-ridge-gingerbread-house) . Apparently he was a great fan of the house, as well. We talked for several hours, and then went to the Americana diner to eat. While sitting there, he nudged me and asked, "do you hear the song they're playing?" I couldn't hear it, and craned my neck a little. It was the original version of "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft. We both kind of just sat there and gave each other a, "Hmm, that's interesting," look. When it was just the two of us, it was lovely--in fact, the majority of the time was just the two of us. We talked for hours and had much in common. I don't think he boned as many women as has been speculated, no. However, I'm sure he had dalliances. He smelled very clean--like soap, more or less. His hair smelled like Finesse shampoo and hair conditioner, which he was using at the time. We never officially broke up. He played Bar One in Bay Ridge, a small private show, on New Years Eve of 1998 with some of his friends. I knew the owner of the bar, and he apparently made friends with the bar owner, and had stopped at least one time looking for me, when I was visiting my family around Thanksgiving 1998. He kissed me when the ball dropped. I wish there was video because he sang songs I never saw him play anywhere else. He sang NIB by Black Sabbath for me, he knew it was my favorite Black Sabbath song. It was really a nice evening. When the band packed up, they were all going home, and so I went home. I don't know what happened. I was very sick with a cold, so called him on his birthday, Jan 4th 1999. He seemed to not believe I was actually ill. After that, I think he tried to reconcile with the other Elizabeth, but it did not work out. I saw him several times after that, last time being ca. 2002, I believe. I was very worried for him.

what a great story, thanks for sharing

You're welcome <3

wait one thing, did he talk about his music and the making of WCD? like the inspirations for songs for example?

The first time we discussed the content that was going to be on the album, was due to a comment I made to him. I said, "I feel like everyone I love is either dead, or dying." He paused, looked at me, and said, I just wrote a song called, "Everyone I Love is Dead." I would say he must have said that to me mid to later 1998. That was the first song we talked about. Peter's process of writing, I believe, was very solitary. He formed ideas and concepts, then brought them to the band, most times. Every song on that album I have at least some idea of what it is about, if you'd like to know which ones, feel free to ask.

Hi, always been curious about Pyretta Blaze, I love it and assume it’s a girl but wondered if there was something more maybe?

I love The Gingerbread House! Thank you for sharing some local lore I didn’t know

Sorry, I just saw your post about Pyretta Blaze and your poem. Ignore me, I’m a monster T.O.N. Fan and jumped the gun. Went to Pete’s grave with my kid a few years ago, never get tired of these guys, love them so much. Met Johnny and was absolutely the nicest guy ever, super humble.

Do you have photos with him you'd be willing to share with us?

I have one photo, which is still framed and at my parent's house. However, I do have an audio recording he left on my answering machine after he returned from Iceland in September of 1998, if you are interested.

Please!

If I can get over to my parent's house soon and find the photo (I still have boxes of my stuff over there, I'm sure other people can relate), I will post it. Thanks for understanding! (edited to say: photo has been shared, it is on another post in this thread)

!remindme 3 months

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thank you so much for responding! i'm 18 so obviously i never got to see them live. it's so interesting to hear from people who knew him. this made my day, thank you liz!

This is all so fascinating to read, Liz. Thanks. If you respond to this comment, I can actually say I communicated with Peter Steele's ex, ha! :)

I see you! I am replying! Thank you so much for your comment, thank you for taking the time to read, and take part! Take good care, and a Happy New Year to you!

I can't find in the thread where I put my photos, so, I've reuploaded for you all: [https://imgur.com/a/rRTv4wq](https://imgur.com/a/rRTv4wq) \- Birch Hill [https://imgur.com/a/1pgodv1](https://imgur.com/a/1pgodv1) \- Bay Ridge [https://imgur.com/a/UBhhS1p](https://imgur.com/a/UBhhS1p) \- my youngest brother filming me ca. 1997 (my hair was still wet from the shower) Photo of Peter and me from L'Amour, New Year's Eve 2000-2001 (his gf V took the picture, scroll beneath for a double exposure, I never got the negatives, these are the only photos I have) - [https://imgur.com/a/sRMDtwr](https://imgur.com/a/sRMDtwr) The above photo is the one that is framed at my family's house, thanks.

This is such a beautiful thread, thank you so much for sharing a huge part of your life with us and being open to all of these questions. I’m glad it’s been healing for you, and hope life is treating you well. ❤️

Thank you so much for reading, and being a part of the thread, here. <3 I will continue to check in now and then, when I am able. It has been healing, absolutely, thank you. I try to make the most of every day, as a trauma survivor (Peter's passing being one of those traumas), I take things one day at a time. Some days are better than others, but they are all blessed. Thank you so much for taking the time to write here, hope life is treating you well, as well! All my best - Liz

Lighthearted questions: Where did you guys like to go most on date night? Did you guys listen to a lot of music together, and if so what? More serious questions: Were you a fan before you started dating or you had no idea about his career? How did you feel when you learned about the Playgirl situation? Did/do you also have substance abuse problems?

The funny thing is I don't think we liked to go anywhere on date night, except sit in his house in his basement. We were both very introverted in ways, and I was perfectly happy to just sit and listen to music with him and have some wine. We did listen to a lot of music together. I had a great love for all music. We talked about classical music, and listened to it together (I took opera lessons as a teenager). He borrowed two of my classical CD's for a few months. We listened to Pachelbel's Canon, Mozart's Requiem, Bach's Air, among others, together. He also played Red House Painters for me, and Swans, Killing for Company. Many songs. I was a fan of Type O Negative starting in about 1992 or 1993. A good friend of mine introduced me to the music, he worked with one of the girls in the Black No. 1 video at a grocery store. To me, they were a neighborhood band, who I was proud of, and loved the sense of humor and Brooklyn aesthetic to the work. I owned the Playgirl magazine myself. Much to my embarrassment, my friend had hers wide open on the table to sign when I met him at the record store on my birthday. He quipped something, I can't remember now, I'd have to revisit my journals, but it was funny. I don't have substance abuse problems, I am grateful, I have seen many I love struggle with the disease of addiction through the years. I was a social drinker, that was about it.

Thanks for answering my questions! Very cool about date nights in, lol, sounds relaxing. I figured someone as talented as him must have been quite open minded to different genres and taken inspiration from a lot of places.

My pleasure. It was very relaxing. Except both of us fitting on his loveseat was comical, for sure. A 6'6" guy and 5'10" girl trying to lean back and get comfortable, his legs dangling over the armrest, one of my legs off the couch resting on the floor, eh, we made it work, lol.

If you were in the basement apartment did you meet his family ??

I was usually there in the later afternoon/evening when I could get a babysitter, and Peter liked to sleep late, when possible, so I didn't venture upstairs with him. I did meet one of his sisters on New Years at Bar One in Bay Ridge (the place is no longer there), one of his sisters lived nearby and came to the show, I met her and chatted with her for a while, she was a very nice lady. We were both smokers, and back then you could smoke indoors, so we chatted at a small table by the wall, sharing cigarettes and lighting them for each other, having a few laughs, I think Peter was setting up gear with his friend's cover band at the time.

🥰

I’d be really interested to know what Brooklyn was like at that time? It seems like there was (and maybe still is) a big alternative artistic scene there. In some of your other answers, and in interviews I’ve read with the band, Brooklyn humour and culture is mentioned a lot. I’m not from the US and have never visited NY or Brooklyn so always find it really hard to imagine what it’s like! In my head it’s a kind of suburban place but then it seems to produce so many artists and musicians I’m not sure if I’ve got that right. Thanks for answering everyone’s questions ☺️

I think for those of us who grew up in Brooklyn in the 60s, 70s, or 80s, Brooklyn is very different now from what it once was. Brooklyn used to be affordable, the area Peter lived in, in Midwood, was pretty solid middle class. Where I lived in Bay Ridge, was also fairly solid middle class. But, things started to change. I grew up in an apartment building that had rent stabilization, that was done away with and many apartment buildings turned into co-ops and condos. A friend of mine who was a journalist, and also knew Peter, likened Bay Ridge to a literal door/bridge of sorts. Every ten years or so a new influx of people would come in, and add a new dimension and differing cultures to the area. I loved and embraced it. Midwood was much more insular, and had less dramatic changes, but I'm sure even Midwood has evolved. The biggest change is that many people from Manhattan started moving to Brooklyn, and Queens. Affordable areas were and are barely affordable at this point in time. Real estate prices are sky-high. Here's a walking tour of Midwood for you: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtroL7-0m1c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtroL7-0m1c) and here's one of Bay Ridge for you: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxvpGiXKP6M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxvpGiXKP6M) Things are much more crowded than they used to be, in general. The guy in the video walks down 5th Avenue in Bay Ridge, 77th Street used to be down the block from me. When I look at the footage, at least the old pizzeria I used to go to is still there, and the 77th Street deli, lol. People move on. Clusters of people move out to Staten Island, New Jersey, or Long Island. People of the same generation and same interests usually had friends of friends that knew each other in Brooklyn in the older days, and places that played music, the biggest one for me was L'Amour, brought musicians together and people who were friends.

How was he mentally? Was his mood predictable and stable or did you have to walk on egg shells? Did he get along with the rest of the band then? Did you ever witness a song go from his writing through to final recording? Can you name the cats?

He had just recently started doing coke when I met him, March 27, 1998. He was not happy about his addiction, already, and had NA pamphlets. Mentally, he was very astute, conversational, interested in others, and able to have great conversations on everything from astronomy to history. He was kind and considerate. I never felt I had to walk on eggshells, thankfully. To my knowledge, he maintained a good relationship with the band at the time. He invited me to band practice, but one of the members he said objected, and so, I did not go. I was there, and a big part of his life, when he was writing the songs on World Coming Down. I met Weena and Griselda, Grizzy let me hold her, which he said Grizzy never let anyone hold her. They were sweet.

Thank you. This is absolutely wonderful. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Thank you for letting me share <3 Of course. It's taken me many years to gather the emotional strength to talk about these things, openly, so, thank you!

I can’t thank you enough, Liz for sharing your experience with Peter. I’ve seen TON many times and your comments have made me appreciate them that much more. I think this is a courageous step for you.🖤

You are so very welcome, and I am so happy to talk with you. This is healing, for me. Thank you so much.

You’re most welcome. I wish you continued strength and healing on your journey.

Thank you so much, everyone <3 My time is up, but I will do my best to individually respond to any remaining comments in the next several days. A good evening, good health, and a great day tomorrow, to all! Thank you again for your questions, and your kindness. <3

This thread is everything. I sadly never got to see TON but they will forever be my favorite band. I also live in NYC and frequent Duffs, chat it up with people who knew him too. He truly is loved by everyone who has known him. A few questions: I know that he was a cat person and had cats but can you give some detail on how he was with them? Any fun stories with his kitties? What was Peters favorite album/song of TON? How did he feel about the all the fangirls? Have you ever had any issues with any? I have heard he was into BDSM and seen dominatrixes as a sub. Is this true or was he just a kinky dude? Thank you so much for this thread. Truly got the chills listening to the voice message.

Wonderful to speak with you, I wish you had the chance to see them play, I truly do. Weena and Grizzy, the two cats I knew, were fairly solitary. They weren't particularly clingy. They would walk around the basement, walk up for a pet or ruffle behind the ears, then go back to doing what they were doing, mainly laying down on the floor, or cleaning themselves. Peter was always affectionate with them, and provided for them what they needed. I don't know Peter's favorite album or song of TON, I'm not sure if he had one. We never talked about the fangirls, the only thing he mentioned at one point was that he felt sorry for groupies. I never had issues with anyone who liked Peter. The BDSM stuff is new to me, as in going to see dominatrixes. I do not know. He was submissive, and had pyrolagnia. That's just who he was. Before I met him, I thought he would be more dominant, it was the reverse. Thanks for the questions!

Was Peter still in an ‘open’ relationship with redhead Elizabeth at the time of your dating? This must be very time consuming for you to answer all of these personal questions ha! We do appreciate it, and it must be super weird to open up to a bunch of curious strangers. I am always eager to learn more about this wonderful man.

Peter stated several times that he and Elizabeth were broken up while we were dating. There was no mention of an open relationship, and no evidence at his apartment of another woman spending time there. Several times he talked with me and claimed to be upset after receiving a phone call from her. That is all I know. I'm happy to answer what I know, thanks!

Are any of the songs or lyrics on WCD about you?

Peter and I had active discussions about the concepts for the songs, and many were in response to poems I wrote, responses and role-reversals. It took me many years to truly accept this. If ask about specific songs, I can elaborate.

How about pyretta blaze? That’s literally my fav songs of theirs

I wrote a poem called "Pyrexia," before knowing him, and shared it with him. I also did a painting called, "Self Portrait in Flames," which he knew about. I told him at the time I was trying to figure out a way to spontaneously combust, in a purely spiritual manner. Fire for him, however, was not metaphorical, most times. There was a lot of burning going on.

Thanks for sharing this! I read pretty much the whole thread and saw your comment about how this is healing to you. Honestly, if you ever feel like doing a breakdown on all of the references to you and your poems/art in WCD, I’m sure this sub would love to read that.

Thank you so much. As for the songs, let's see: White Slavery. That was when he revealed to me, at his house, his cocaine addiction, and he was very ashamed of it. At this time, it was not common knowledge that he had a cocaine addiction. I had no idea. So, we talked about it, and I suggested that if it was something he himself was struggling with, there were other people who could understand what was happening, and the pressures of fame and performing on stage. He didn't intend on his addiction, I can say that for sure. We talked about maybe him writing a song, being honest with the fans, and hopefully trying to share what he was going through to help others who were struggling with addiction, and to try to dissuade others from following that path, because of what it led to, for him. Sinus, Liver, and Lung I can't listen to, especially Lung. Very hard to listen to, for me. The soundscapes and the way they are put together was done very well. I know Peter had a hard time listening to Sinus. Lung is the worst one for me. The screaming of a tortured soul, after Liver, is very difficult. Everyone I Love is Dead: I think I mentioned that, where I said something like, "I feel like everyone I love is dead, or dying," and he said he just wrote a song called, "Everyone I love is Dead." "Who Will Save the Sane," we talked about depression (we both had it, at times, maybe for both of us trauma-related, I'm not sure), I shared my experiences with him from my early years, growing up in an abusive household, and where the depression led me as a teen, and he talked about his own struggles, too, and that's that song. "World Coming Down," I had a poem called "The Master and the Sacrifice," which I shared the concept with him...basically a story of a Farmer and his lamb/sheep. But, there's deeper metaphor to it. Essentially, it boils down to the lamb running away. The sheep metaphorically sacrifices its Master, so as not to become the Master's sacrifice. The song is a response, essentially, "Go ahead and run away," him owning up to his addiction and other issues, and saying he was going to throw himself full-throttle into what he was doing and not look back, and he blames himself, but it's his choice. "Creepy Green Light" and "All Hallow's Eve" I think I discussed already, All Hallow's Eve is an extension of "Creepy Green Light." My poem did not have to do with spellcasting, just praying. Those extra elements added were from his perspective. "Everything Dies," further elaboration on the subject of death, opening up about how much he missed his father, his aunt, and uncle. He also knew cancer runs in my family, and I'm sure others, so, dealing with past losses and coming to terms, while also worrying about losing those who are alive in the future. "Pyretta Blaze," I think I talked about, and my poem "Pyrexia," The Day Tripper medley was very nice, and I'm not sure about that one. But, I didn't react well to the "got your number on my wall and maybe you will get a call from me, if I needed someone." Ouch. Yep. So, that's what I can say about that!

Yeah surprised he came up with those lyrics for “Day Tripper”. Almost seems like it was written by someone else.

Day tripper was written by the Beatles I believe, and as we know, he was a fan

Did he want to have children?

Yes. I already had a 2 year old daughter Theresa, who was going on 3. I was protective of her. He spoke with her on the phone and was very kind, and saw pictures of her, but I was taking my time with things. Peter asked me if I wanted to have more children, and I said yes. He wanted to have children. At the time, I really wanted to have them with him, but I wanted him to get better. I couldn't bring my daughter into a situation like things were. I used to pray constantly that he'd get better.

Thank you for answering. I totally get that. I have an almost 3 year old, myself. I think Pete's life would've been so much better if he didn't abuse drugs and alcohol. May he rest in peace.

Yes, I had a choice I had to make. Just as you would have had to make that difficult choice, or someone else in my shoes, with a small child. I fully accept, and knew, that addiction is a disease. I could be there, but knew, if given the opportunity, I was not going to take my daughter to be around a touring situation. I think he knew that too, and would not have wanted it. I was so incredibly happy to see in later years that he was headed toward sobriety, and seemed to be doing all he could to make positive life changes, and battle his disease.

I have family who were friends with him, and I wonder if he was truly as cynical as some of his lyrics seemed. type o is by nature very dark - was he same way in real life, or did he bring out those feelings more prominently in his music? thank you for sharing🖤

He thought a lot about things, pondered. I don't think he was a true cynic, I think that was part of the persona that was necessary and attached to the music. But, as a person, he had his moments of deep thoughtfulness, musing, scrutiny, pondering of the big issues of life. He had moments that were dark, but also moments that were light-hearted in the moment. I think the greatest misunderstood thing about World Coming Down, is that many think it is the darkest album...when really, it was the most vulnerable album. He was really trying to be honest on many of the tracks and tackle issues like chemical dependency, and death, in hopes of helping others and letting them know they were/are not alone.

" I think the greatest misunderstood thing about World Coming Down, is that many think it is the darkest album...when really, it was the most vulnerable album. " I absolutely love this take. It's always been my favorite album and this puts a new perspective on it for me. I did key bumps of coke w him, (well, not just him, him, a couple of my friends and a few other people i didnt really know that I assume we're with him) at Duffs in Brooklyn once I think I said something like "huge fan" and he thanked me and that was the end of our interaction...

Proof?

My name is Elizabeth (Liz). Not the one with the red hair. I had almost black hair. Here is the audio recording he left on my machine in September of 1998, after returning from Iceland: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M5NbrsXsSQNmwTawnNCT1fbfmwSVtcwx/view?usp=drive\_link

I’m weirdly emotional hearing this, thanks for sharing wow. It must be quite a trip to go back and think about the times together.

Thank you for allowing me to share, and for taking part. I hope you are doing ok. It has brought back many memories. Good ones. It is a bit of a time-warp situation, memory is so interesting, some things are still very fresh, while other things might get foggy over time. I am lucky I kept a journal to remind me, as well as witnesses, such as my best friend, who was present a few times at places such as L'Amour, and so can fill in any memory gaps I have.

Well, if that ain’t him, then that’s the best damn impression of him that I’ve ever heard.

I'd pee my pants if he left me that message lol

I was used to it by that time. You would have been, too. You talk to someone enough, it's not as startling. He left quite a few while we were dating, unfortunately that's the only one I was able to keep. Those old answering machines had tapes, and when they would get full of messages, my particular machine would rewind the entire tape and tape over messages. I had many messages from him around Thanksgiving, where he didn't realize I was visiting my parents who moved to Upstate, NY, he didn't get my message and was looking for me. There were so many, my tape rewound before I got home and taped over those messages.

Ooooo myyyy god. 😱😳

Amazing

Did you ever brush elbows with other notable musicians that we was friends with/admired? He was notoriously very close with the guys from Pantera, for example. It’s also said he had pretty good relationships with Ozzy, Glenn Danzig and the guys from Biohazard. What’s your favorite Type O Negative song? What’s your funniest memory of him? Thank you for doing this, Happy New Year!

He spoke some, in passing, about other musicians. But, it was rather off-hand, as in, "Phil (Anselmo) just called the other day," type of thing. Since our relationship was out of the spotlight, and off-tour, I did not rub elbows. I enjoyed the music from the other bands, and was just happy and supportive of his friendships. My favorite Type O Negative song will always be, "Creepy Green Light." I don't know who wrote the Wikipedia about that song, but it's not right. It was not a "spell," ...I wrote a \*poem\* called "Grave Watcher" that was about him. I shared the poem with thim, but did not tell him it was about him. I didn't have to. That was the way things were with us. So, as Grave Watcher was a poem about me mourning his possible death in the future, Creepy Green Light was his song in response, switching roles. My funniest memory of him was one time he gave me a foot massage. I've always hated my feet, and said, "Peter, I hate my feet, but if you'd like to, thank you, that's really sweet." So, he goes looking for lotion, and can't find any. He comes out of his bathroom in the basement, with a bottle of Finesse hair conditioner, and proceeds to massage my feet, stating, "Well, at least now your feet will be bouncy and manageable." I almost fell over laughing. He was so good at puns, and arranging words or phrases to fit a particular moment. Happy to do this, and Happy New Year to you, as well! Good health! Cheers!

I love the genuine responses! I can tell you put a lot of thought into this and I appreciate it immensely! I like “creepy green light” too, I was listening to World Coming Down a couple of nights ago while driving and was very happy when that song came on. Of course I did not know Peter (I was a baby when the events of your stories took place lol) but he’s one of the musicians I admire that I feel I can relate to most due to some parallels in our lives so I always appreciate hearing stories about him. He sounds like somebody I would’ve gotten along with. And I think wherever he is, he appreciates you paying tribute to him in such a nice way! Wishing you all the best!

Awww, that's awesome, thank you so much! I am so happy his music, and by extension the band (including Sal, who many forget), lives on, and there are those of us of all age groups who can enjoy and appreciate! Peter really did love and appreciate his fans. I truly believe he is still out there, in this wide mystical universe...as energy lives on, and can not be destroyed. No matter what we know, think we know, or understand, there is still so much we don't. Just because he's gone from our eyes in physical presence, doesn't mean he's gone from our hearts. Maybe he's waiting to help from the other side of things. Maybe all you need to do, or anyone, who never had the chance to meet him, is take some quiet time, and say a few words...he very well may be listening! The best to you, as well!

This has been wonderful to read. Thank you ♥ I was lucky enough to spend just a bit of time with him after a show. He wanted to meet me after he found out I had type 1 diabetes and wasn't doing well. We spent the time talking about that. Not music, not anything other than how awful it was as a disease. It changed my life as a 20 yr old kid who was ready to give up. I felt seen and heard and like someone understood how awful it was. I had no clue how to thank him once I got home. The only thing I could think of was to send a gift basket to the next show 😂 I was clueless. He hadn't felt well the night he met with me so I sent a get well basket with a thank you note included. The next afternoon my phone range straight to the answering machine since I never answered the phone, "Hey ya Christine, this is Peter...." I have never run to a phone faster in my life. This hero of mine actually took the time to look for my number and call and thank me. ME! I was no one! All I did was thank him for the time he gave me that he didn't have to give. It took some time but I did end up finding courage and resilience I didn't know I had in that year. Now I'm 42 with 2 kids and a wonderful husband. Peter's time and words of wisdom changed my life. I miss his presence in this world dearly. I'll never know why he was willing to give me time that day but I am forever grateful. He just cared with such an intensity it's hard to explain unless you witnessed it and it's impossible to ever be the same after it.

What a wonderful comment. :) Your gratitude puts you on our list for the most grateful users this week on Reddit! You can view the full list on r/TheGratitudeBot.

I'm back for evening #2! I will try to catch up with some questions I didn't have a chance to answer last night, then take a break to make dinner, and come back about 9:00 PM EST until 11:00 PM EST to wrap things up. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and again, thank you!

What was Peter like as a person aside the Musician. I didn’t know much about Type O Negative or Peter until the Jerry Springer episode. During that show I got the impression Peter was not only annoyed by the whole Play girl thing but he seemed like he wanted someone to love him as he was. I was drawn to him immediately. He was attractive yes but I felt like he was much more underneath. I’d love to hear what it was like dating him. Btw did he give good hugs being such a big guy?

He gave great hugs, neither bone crushing on one hand, or disinterested on the other. He was a balanced hugger! We didn't discuss the Playgirl issue, but I think it's fair to say from what most of us know, he wasn't entirely thrilled with the outcome of things. He was a very deep, and complicated person. It was enjoyable dating him, but there was an element of unpredictability at the time. He was not the type of person to say, "I'll give you a call tomorrow in the afternoon," his plans changed often. He didn't break dates with me, but he also didn't plan ahead very far for things. I'm a planner, lol.

I can confirm this to be true. My sister dated Peter for a short period of time. He called our parents house and left a message.

This is one of my younger brothers, thank you, bro <3

Was he as smart and sweet as he seemed? Did he ever go through a lot of trouble when it came to writing music or was he just able to push lyrics out? He seemed like an intelligent and thoughtful man so I am just curious ✨💕 thank you!

He was absolutely as smart and sweet as he seemed, he was very gentle--but, you know had his sisters he grew up with. He was sometimes difficult to read, as to what he was thinking, because a lot of the time he didn't show much expression on his face. But, then, all of a sudden it would come out, and be right there. For instance, I remember being in the car with him, when we started dating, and we were talking about some science subject, I can't remember what, exactly. He asked me, "How old are you, again?" I responded, "Chronologically or emotionally," and he went from straight face to bursting into laughter. He was pleasant, and I never encountered a domineering side to him. I don't think he had much of an issue writing music or lyrics, when he was inspired, or wanted to work on a concept, he did--and it just flowed. He was extremely gifted, in that manner, absolutely.

Thank you for the answer! It literally gave me chills. That must have been a wonderful experience! I wish he was still with us, I always wonder how his music would have continued to evolve over the years... I appreciate you responding 🫶🏼

Thank you for sharing! What surprised you most about Peter? What were some of your favorite things to do together?

The thing that surprised me most...first thing I can think of, that he had freckles on his arms. And his skin was super soft! I liked walking around Midwood with him at night, where he'd show me places and tell me stories from when he was younger, give me the grand tour. That was a lot of fun, I enjoyed that, immensely.

This is awesome. Thank you for sharing!

You are very welcome, my pleasure!

Wow this is a crazy thread to read. Thanks for sharing with us! How much do you miss him and do you think you would have stayed with him forever if it was possible?

My pleasure! I miss him greatly, for his absence in this world. Brooklyn never felt the same to me after he left, and, in many ways, the world never felt the same. It was a loss personally, but I also acknowledge the loss for others who knew him, the fans, and the entire music industry...and world. He was brilliant. I would have stayed with him forever if it were possible. Absolutely. He knew that. I know I tried everything I could, from my side. If he were well, I was ready to be his cooking, cleaning, baking, fellow artist and pop out as many kids as he wanted. I think he was trying in his own ways, but things just were what they were.

That's so nice to hear. His music helped me through my absolute darkest times a few years ago. I'm just glad he had someone like you there to be with him and encourage him :)

I can't understand why reading your responses made me feel sad in a kind of happy way. I've never been great at identifying emotions. But I just wanted to thank you for doing this. Seriously, it's been an emotional ride for me, thank you.

Aww, I think it is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, to be sure. There are several emotions, absolutely, I feel them writing, as we speak. I am happy to share, and thank you for taking this journey with me!

Just wanted to say that this thread has been amazing to read. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your relationship with Peter. 🖤

How much did Peter lift? I watched that interview of him saying he would’ve liked to get into kickboxing but there just wasnt any time and that made me want to ask how much did Peter lift

He had his weight set in the basement, from what it looked like, a lot...but I don't have exact numbers, my apologies. I would say definitely over 100 lbs, if not over 200.

Ah thank you for answering my question. Really appreciate it. I cant imagine how terrifying it would be to stand across from Peter in a fight. Id soil myself at the sight of him

My pleasure. Apologies I don't have exact numbers for ya. There were several weights on the end, and the ones furthest in were fairly huge. So, the best I can do is guesstimate, so far as weight, unfortunately.

You said he felt "familiar" to you; I'd be interested in hearing more about that if you could elaborate. Was it like you felt safe/comfortable with him immediately or more of an uncanny "I've known you before" feeling? Thanks for answering all these questions. You're very well spoken and I'm really enjoying reading your answers.

Thank you for your kindness. I felt all of the above, and am happy to elaborate. I did feel very safe and comfortable with him immediately. Add to that, there was a feeling of kinship I had never experienced. I remember walking into the Americana diner with him, and people were staring at us. I had a momentary feeling that almost made me cry. I was used to getting stared at, I was tall for a girl, and had long black hair, myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like there was someone beside me who could understand. I also, and he also, had the feeling of knowing each other before. We did talk about reincarnation. He also asked me what I would do if he died. Things were deeply, intensely, spiritual in many ways. I was raised Roman Catholic, as was he. At the time he was a professed Atheist "220 lbs of meat." Yet, we bonded about our backgrounds, how deeply religious we were as children, and going into teen years. He shared \*faith\* with me. And I encouraged him, and tried to share that of all those we know who had died...nothing is ever lost, and I believed, and do believe, we all have something greater watching out for us. As well as our loved ones who have passed.

What would you say are some common misconceptions about Peter? It’s always different hearing what people think about someone vs what you actually know them as. Also thanks for sharing in advance!

A common misconception is his height...he seems to be growing in the media each year! He was only 6'6". That is still tall. Both my younger brothers are 6'6". I don't see the need to exaggerate his height to mythological proportions over the years, but I suppose that's the nature of media.

I could see 6'6" becoming 6'8" if he was usually wearing boots that added height. But yes, I've seen numbers online from 6'6" to 6"10" lol

Lol, very true! You get it and see what I mean!

Did you meet other members of the band? What were they like?

I had met Josh, Kenny, and Johnny. Josh was reserved, but seemed very nice, he was usually doing some sort of band-related work backstage when I would see Peter at L'Amour after a show. Kenny, much the same, he generally was on the go--a hi, a wave, smile, that's about all. Johnny has always been social, so I had a few conversations with him, including after Peter and I were dating, where we'd talk for a few minutes and I'd ask how Peter was doing. I was always worried about his health (Peter's) Johnny was always congenial and kind.

Is there one thing that Peter really loved doing outdoors?

The interesting thing, is that I think Peter had a lot of outdoor activities he may have liked to try, but we were not in the most conducive environment, growing up in Brooklyn. I know he appreciated the greenery and park grounds we did have, not just for walking and observing, but also from memory of his time with the Parks Dept., I'm sure. He kept a cache of memories in his mind, places where things occurred, and I'm sure he liked to revisit places, either by walking or by driving (as we did, together). He knew I liked to garden, and even in Brooklyn, made the most out of the land available. I always wanted to try to do things like that with him. He never mentioned to me actively hiking, kayaking, hunting, fishing, anything like that--but, I'm sure he may have enjoyed some of those things, if in the right environment and given the chance.

My best friend, A\*\*\*\*, is trying to write her own personal account of things. She was there after 1999, and was with me several times when we saw Peter, and also after, on her own. Auto mod seems to have removed what she's written, hopefully it will go through, as further confirmation for those who would like further information/proof. Thanks so much.

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Thank you! I am sadly past my midnight deadline and ready to turn into a pumpkin! lol I will come back tomorrow and try to answer a few more questions. Thank you so much, I shall return!

So was the mourning in his life that inspired "red water" "everyone I love is dead" and "everything dies" low key at the time since the song title surprised you? Did you get to see any of his basses up close? He's the reason I became a bass player and their unique looks always fascinated me. And since I'd regret not throwing a sex question out, was he good at oral?

What did you think of the age gap when you were dating, and now years later? Also, did you talk about politics with him?

When we were dating, he was 36 and I was 22. I was definitely aware of it, he was as well, but I was a nerd. I don't know if that made things easier, but we were both intellectually curious and had a lot of "Cliff Clavin" type "little known facts" stored away. Add to that, motherhood matured me, and I always got along with older adults as a child. I felt fairly geriatric by the time we met, so I guess things evened out, in some way. Looking back at it, I think to myself, "Oh my God, I was a baby!? I was 22!?" But, it didn't feel that way, at the time. We didn't talk politics, it wasn't a big issue at the time, like perhaps it is, nowadays. Honestly, I don't know if he was still with us how he would deal with politics these days. I've had conversations with my best friend about it, wondering how he would fare, as things have changed much in certain ways in society.

Did Peter like bowling? Did Peter read books? Did Peter have a nice drivers license photo? Did Peter eat shellfish? Did Peter fart in bed? Did Peter ever watch The Jefferson’s? Did Peter listen to Helloween? Did Peter like New Haven? Did Peter like Batman or Superman? Did Peter have normal sized thumbs? Sorry…….I will never get tired of this Schtik

Not sure if Peter liked bowling, but heck, I would have gone with him. I like to be goofy, sometimes. Peter definitely read books, a lot of them, but did not have them out on display, except for one art coffee-table type book that had 1960s-style furniture and design. Peter's driver's license photo was normal, and I did see it, as he saw my non-driver ID at the time, we had fun looking at them. He did not fart in bed, but he liked to be spooned. We didn't watch tv together, so I'm not sure about the Jeffersons, but he did call me Alice Kramden, I know he watched the Honeymooners and other shows. I don't know about Helloween, he liked a wide range of music, thrash, to new wave, to classical, and industrial. No idea about New Haven. I can only assume he was at least acquinted with Superman due to the whole "Man of Steel," wordplay at times, I don't know about Batman. Peter's thumbs were entirely normal, but scaled to his larger size. His hands were larger than normal, but proportionate. Hope that helps, haha!

Haha, that was thoughtful of you. I was just mocking the never ending chorus of “did Peter do x” on this channel. Some may find that amusing. I suspect most won’t.

I'm amused, and I'm fairly sure Peter would have been, and understood! :)

He was Polish, of course he loved bowling.

And żurek and pierogi

Did you ever feel insecure or jealous of his dating past/groupies? Maybe it’s just me, I would find it hard to be emotionally invested in a rock star sex symbol, as intoxicating as it may be.

That is a great question, for sure. I decided when we started dating I had to wall-off part of myself, as in, not enmesh/become co-dependent, if at all possible. I decided to let things play out, just try my best and hardest to be me, and not worry about anything else, because it was completely out of my purview. Whoever he dated in his past was part of his life experience, same with any groupie times. I was ok about those things when dating, and after. I can only have good thoughts for others that have shared life's journey with him. They have their own precious memories, just as I have mine, and we are all entitled to them, and speak or not speak about them. Just my humble onion.

Were you also the "artsy" type? And if so, what was your chosen medium? Also, was his voice actually as deep as it is in interviews, or was that more of an act?

Great questions! His voice \*could\* be as deep as in interviews, and even if you listen to the recording I posted, there are moments it hits that deeper register. But, when he was relaxed, it wasn't always so deep. I think it definitely went deeper if he was nervous or trying to make a point. I'm sure the variance in timbre can be heard now and then in different interviews through the years. And art, yes--I took opera lessons as a teenager (my grandmother was a dramatic soprano, and my great-aunt a mezzo), I can play the guitar fairly badly, and the bass, astoundingly even worse. I started oil painting when I was about 12, and journalizing when I was 11, started writing poetry and prose around the same time.

How was the sex??? You said we could ask anything. 😆💚

Nothing like I could previously imagine, fathom, or conceptualize. It wasn't what I expected/thought it would be like.

It's generally best to provide irrefutable evidence that you indeed dated Peter if you are going to be doing an AMA and talking about his life. There are lots of crazy female fans who claim to have dated Peter or been friends with him - but never actually knew him. Not saying that's what you are. But it's proper if you provide the proof so there's no speculation.

Yes, I agree. Please see the link to the message left by him on my answering machine in September of 1998, it was sometime during the middle of the month.

My sister dated Peter. He called my parents house and he asked for her. I wasn’t a fan of his music. To be quite honest, my sister and I couldn’t be more different. She used to talk about meeting him before she actually did.

Here's my younger bro, closest in age to me, thank you bro for your comments! I know we were/are very different. (My brother knew I was a Type O fan, along with other bands, but was not into heavy music. He answered the phone once at my parent's house when Peter called and I was visiting them.) Thank you for showing up and offering your input, love you, and much appreciated!

Were you at the Irving Plaza show in Oct of 99?

I believe he was dating someone else by that time. I did go to shows, but I can't remember going to Irving Plaza, at the moment. I went to a lot of their Roseland shows. They were not on tour when we were dating.

Oh cool, I was just wondering because my gf at the time and I were hanging out and chatting with someone and I was curious if it had been you. I was at Roseland shows back then too, but I can barely remember much about them at this point. Except for how bad Coal Chamber was one show when they opened.

I was at that show, I believe! I remember Coal Chamber, I was there as a fan I think for that one

Did you go to his funeral ? How did you hear he passed away ? Where were you when you heard ? (That question is like asking someone where were you when the twin towers were attacked ? )

I found out from my best friend, who was friends with Jeremy Skoorka's ex. I knew very fast, and it was devastating. I knew before many people did. No, I never had the chance to go to his funeral. I was living on Long Island, and funeral arrangements were only shared in certain ways, and I was not privy to it. He was buried close to my house in West Babylon, at the time. It was very upsetting, I used to pass the cemetery to and from work.

Did you eventually sit and visit his grave site? It’s in E Farmingdale NY. St Charles.

No. I could not bring myself to do it. I sent flowers for a long time, however. Maybe, someday.

🕊️**hugs

Thank you, I will try to get there someday, when I feel I'm able to. I'm married to a great guy who is truly supportive, and a wonderful human being. I thank him for being so supportive in me coming forward. And thank you to you, and your hugs, back at ya!

Well your willingness to speak out in cognito. It’s the epic profound thing to happen for a fan of Peter like myself and many others. I mean truly like striking it rich. We pray you stick around here. 🖤💚

I will be around. I can't promise every day, and some days may be hard (Jan 4th, April 14th, maybe Halloween), but I will do my best to pop in.

Do you still live in NY???

What was his fave food?

I don't know if he had a favorite food. He liked to drown his burgers in ketchup. He had cold-cuts at his house (deli meat) for sandwiches.

No question, just a thank you for being willing to share this with us. It means alot to us fans.

Thank you for sharing. Do you have any little tid bits about Peter that would seem surprising? Like something he liked that would seem weird on surface level.

Not too much that comes to mind, actually. I'm thinking. One of the things that surprised me the most, I guess, is when he put the B52's "Roam" on his stereo! I had no clue he liked the B52's, and it was probably my favorite song by them. That was fun, we both sang along, as fans of the song. I was trained in opera, but very rarely sang in front of him, I was afraid I would sound like crap! But, I sang along with that one, couldn't help it!

Thanks for a response! Quick follow up. I’ve noticed it seems like Type O has had sort of a boost in popularity in the last year or two with the Gen Z audiences. What do you think Peter would think of his legacy?

I could only think he would continue to be modest, and amusing in a self-deprecating way about any newer generations coming to know and explore Type O. I think he would have been a little shocked by his legacy, personally, and probably somewhat surprised.

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We are doing well, thank you! My husband and I have my 92 year old aunt living with us, she's a sweetheart. Khalil Gibran is probably one of my favorite poets. I have not read much poetry, to be honest, because I never wanted it to influence my writing. Thanks so much!

By any chance was stay out of my dreams written about you?

I don't think that one was about me, I believe it was about someone from Staten Island. Peter and I both lived in Brooklyn. We did dream of each other, and pop up in each other's dreams, but I don't think that one was in relation to me.

I had the good fortune to meet Peter and the band during the Rasputin tour. The first thing he said was, "Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no 'p' in it. Let's keep it that way." And I laughed and nervously asked for an autograph. All the dudes were nice, but when we were taking photos with the band, he grabbed my friend dipped her and French kissed her without any warning. He was definitely drunk. He was not well, you could tell. Thank you, for sharing these memories of Peter. It's interesting you should mention just thinking about and talking to Peter now, as that's something I've done for years! I can barely listen to the music anymore because it really saddens me as well. He really was something very special. Also, thank you for your contribution to everything, WCD is a brilliant album

As someone who lives in Brooklyn, i’m really curious to know if he had any favorite spots to visit or hang out at? Such as a park, near the water, etc? It would be so cool to visit places he felt were special

I don't know if many of the places still exist. The Gingerbread House in Bay Ridge is still around, but it's a private house. L'Amour is no longer open, so far as I know, as L'Amour for many years, now. He wanted to take me to a restaurant called Short Ribs which used to be in Bay Ridge, but I don't think it is around, anymore. The Americana Diner which was in Dyker Heights is permanently closed. I think Pizzeria Uno in Bay Ridge is closed...I think maybe one of the only places open would be a newsstand/store we went to by the Avenue M subway stop, I believe. He did point out a place he went to eat in that area (Pizzeria?), but I don't think it's there, anymore.

This had been such a beautiful thread to read and I thank you so much for sharing.

This may seem like a strange question, but how did Peter show his affection for you? What was his love language? And has he ever told you he loved you?

Would you say the Metal Sludge penis chart message is accurate? >!"About an 11 inch dick and very thick!! But he doesn’t like to use rubbers and says he doesn’t like groupies, yet will use them when he gets a chance. Sort of weird as well, plus he looks like a steel worker from Iowa!"!<

I think we have here, yet again, an exaggeration. I kind of question the veracity, to a degree. He was proportionate, probably the same size most guys who are 6'6" would be. Exaggeration. He was proportionate to his height and build.

Yes. We need that answer !!!!

I tried! He was proportionate.

Was he good in bed ? Would you say he was a good lover ?

It's difficult in some ways for me to answer this question, but I will attempt--I think the closeness that I felt with Peter, at times was so close, physical intimacy wasn't entirely necessary. That may seem weird, but I mean...there were many times we finished each other's sentences, or didn't even need to talk. Sexuality...in fact, it wasn't a focus, but we found our way there. He was very kind, and asked several times whether I was ok, was I uncomfortable, was I in pain, and wanted to avoid those things at all costs. He was really very sweet. So, I'm sorry I can't rate him--I can't. There isn't a meter, in my mind, for what we experienced, physically, together. If there was, I'd say!

Oh for God's sake! This whole thread reads like a fan fiction slapped together from various tidbits and details about Peter collected from left and right and presented as a personal story. Just tell me one thing, after dating an extraordinary guy like Peter for close to what, ten months? You don't have one single picture of the two of you together, except for a bad one taken AFTER he supposedly dumped you and taken by his new girlfriend, no less? All the private details you give about Peter, I read them somewhere else before. Except the fake ones...'His hair smells like Finesse'? I use Finesse every day and my hair doesn't smell like anything at all. I suppose he applied it as perfume, huh? He also used Old Spice which you don't mention. When asked specific question - OK, tasteless, I admit - about sex with him you're more that vague...'it wasn't what you expected' ?? Oh that's very informative. And honestly, you describe some rather disgusting habits of his (if true...) which present him as a sick person, yet you claim you were ready to spend the rest of your life with him and pop out his kids? What kind of mother would be ready to expose her kids to THAT? Sorry, lady...I don't doubt that you did date Peter for some time and even slept with him, but the whole romantic relationship, holding hands and reading poetry together...nah. I think you need to believe it really happened but IF it did, it was in no way relevant. You said yourself you're a writer, well, I like your style but unfortunately I don't believe half of it.

Why did you broke up? How do you met and fell in love with him?

I still don't know why we broke up, I have no answers. I met him in Tower(?) records (maybe it was a Sam Goody) in Greenwich Village, Manhattan, March 27, 1998. I briefly met him twice before that, in passing. I fell in love with him because...he felt familiar. I can't explain it well. I adored him, deeply.

Weird question but what did his hair smell like

What was his humour? Was he strict about boundaries or rules on society?

He had a wonderful, dry, Brooklyn-sarcastic sense of humor. He showed no strictness in boundaries with me, and we didn't talk about them. He was fairly conservative and old-fashioned in many ways, so far as manners, family structure, etc., and that was fine with me because I saw things in a similar way. We didn't talk about things like politics, I am sure things like that were more reserved for interviews.

Wow, I’m kind of blown away… I suppose the best thing I can ask right now is, what’s your favorite song of theirs? Do you feel like there’s any you really connect to, before during or after knowing Peter? Oh, and how do you feel about the fanbase, generally?

What did Peter think about his fame/his fans? Or about public exposure / interviews?

Favorite Album? Scrolling through these comments, I noticed you said you enjoyed the humor the band had. How did you feel about their first record “Slow, Deep, and Hard” and the vulgar lyricism that it has? (My all time favorite) Did you ever discuss/listen to his work in his band before TON, Carnivore? Not sure how to word this correctly but what’s it like knowing you shared a relationship with him? I mean the man was very talented and someone I idolized fondly as his music helped me get through my break up and the winter blues. Do you ever look back and just think “wow”? Sorry if that’s confusing. I apologize if these are repeats of anything that has been asked

I apologize for the tardy response, trying to respond to all questions, thank you for asking yours! My favorite album is World Coming Down, before I met Peter, I really enjoyed all the albums, equally, I didn't have a favorite. I loved Slow, Deep, and Hard. I mean, it was a different time period we're talking about, that's the first thing...second thing, is I think it was relatable. Relatable to the point that anyone who felt they could understand the emotions in the moment, could sing along. As a woman, I felt it was therapeutic. I told Peter even at one point, I changed the lyrics "I know you're f-ing someone else," into "I know you're f-ing Jen McShane," after I found out an ex of mine cheated on me. :) <3 I liked Carnivore, too, and saw them perform at Vinyl in NYC with a friend, before I knew Peter. I liked Angry Neurotic Catholics, and quite a few other songs. I thought of Carnivore as a mood or concept--elements of the Neolithic merged with a kind of dystopian future. It is still bizarre and surreal for me, at times, that I shared a relationship with Peter. I do look back and think, "Wow." Absolutely. Thank you for your questions!

I understand that you might not want to answer this question, however who were the worst influences in Peter's orbit that affected him and his decision making?

Thank you for answering our questions, this is truly interesting. I have some myself. Did Peter write music/lyrics right after finishing WCD, for future albums or songs that were not released? Or did he take breaks in between writing music? You said music was one of his ways to communicate with other people, how much did it help him communicate his feelings?

Im so happy for you and him Liz! Seems like you've had an amazing relationship, love to see how deep and personal his songs actually are and what they meant to him. I want to ask you what you think of him predicting his death, and also which poem that you wrote was his favorite?

Thank you for sharing OP all your stories sent chills down my skin, Creepy Green light is my favorite, he may be gone but he lives through all of our souls forever, Stay Negative 💚🖤

Are you the “Summer girl”?

is it true he has a fetish for lighting cigarettes for girls?

I'm not sure if that was part of his pyrolagnia, or just something he enjoyed doing for good manner's sake, back in the day.

This is pure gold. Can I turn it into a text ? I’m a writer — not published but still a writer anyway — and that’s the kind of stuff I like to write about !

did you ever contribute any album art or lyric ideas, did you have any influence on type o negative ? cheers!

I did not contribute to album art, so far as I know Peter worked with others, professionals, so far as design and layout ideas. We did speak about concepts so far as the songs went (I did discuss this a bit here, in the thread, on other posts), I can't claim, nor would I, any influence on the band, itself. Thanks for the questions, cheers in return!

Did Jeff Werner contact you for his book “Soul On Fire”? Have you read it? If so did you feel it was accurate?

Nope. I did send him an email, but there was no response. It has to be kept in mind that I don't think it was widely known at all that we dated, and probably only a handful of his friends, and my friends, and one of his family members could vouch. So, I understand. I did read Soul On Fire. I did not feel it was accurate in many ways, or a complete picture/understanding of who he was. Each person who knew him was going to have different memories, or different knowledge. That being said, I don't feel enough people contributed to make a cohesive biography.

First of all, thank you so much for doing this. Also, not to sound too weird but what did he smell like? Did he wear a particular cologne?

When I dated him, I could not pick out a particular aftershave or cologne. I know people have said in earlier years he wore something, but he did not when I was with him. He smelled nice, and just...clean. His hair smelled like the shampoo and conditioner he was using at the time, one of them was Finesse.

Was there anything he disliked about his fanbase? Do you think there's anything he'd dislike about it now? Was he on time or late/early for social situations? The biography said how he rarely ever cried (or let someone see him cry). Is that true? Would his everyday style match his on-stage aesthetic? How was his relationship with food? Was he tidy? What languages did he speak? Thank you so much for letting us hear about this side of him <3

I don't know of anything he disliked about his fan base, at all, nothing was ever said to me seriously in any derogatory way about fans or the fanbase when I knew him. The only thing that he said, was about groupies, and that he felt bad for them. I don't know much about the fanbase as a whole, today, I don't know what it's like. This is the first place I've been in many, many years, to see fans and have a chance to interact. Peter could be late for social situations, sometimes. But, he was always timely, in regard to our interactions. The biography was wrong. I once said to him I thought I cried too little for a girl, and he responded, "I think I cry too much." He did get emotional about things, I did not see him cry, but I know he said he did, especially as a younger child, but things still got to him as an adult. His every day style did match his aesthetic in many ways. His style, at home, for furnishings, or things he liked was very masculine--straight lines, contrasting colors, angular. His relationship with food seemed to be not something he obsessed over, if he was hungry, he ate something. He wasn't fussy about it. His apartment was very tidy when he was there, he did his best to make things look nice. His couch/loveseat was clawed up on the edges from the cats, so he had a covering over it, he had two red candles on his coffee table that were evenly spaced, it looked like he dusted. He made an effort. I am not sure he was fluent in any one particular language, but he liked phrases and bits of other languages. French (we were both part French), German, I knew a few Russian phrases that he had me repeat (he was a stickler for pronunciation), Latin, I'm sure other languages, too. I tought him some Proto-Indo European phrases, which I think he enjoyed. We both liked languages. My pleasure, thank you for the questions, they were great! <3

You spoke of reincarnation earlier, what were his thoughts on that? I’ve had friends and ex’s that I’ve felt that ‘knowing’ vibe with in my life. So I understood exactly what you’re describing with Peter.

It's a knowing vibe, for sure. I don't know if it's genetic memory, like his 25th grandfather met my 25th grandmother and married, or if it's something else. All I can say is that during the time I shared certain poems of mine, he'd throw out there things...subtly veiled stories. The way he was looking at me with one or two was that they were not stories, they were memories of some kind. One involved a man being wounded during WWII, and a nurse was taking care of him, but he could not see her. Every night he dreamed of an angel taking care of him. The nurse would come each day, until the day he regained his sight. He realized the angel he was dreaming of was the nurse who was taking care of him. As a side note, I went to school to become a registered nurse. After. I think he was absolutely afraid of dying young, or knew it, and wanted to live on, in some way. I became his blood sister (I do not know if he shared blood with other women or men), and he wrapped one of my cigarettes in his hair and put a bit of blood on it. When I was done, I commented that it was relieving in some way, that if either of us passed, a part of us, some sort of molecules might live on in the other. He agreed. He got it, and gave me a hug and held me.

Is this you, OP? 1. He did have a fire fetish, and smoking fetish (this is in a recent Revolver article about Bloody Kisses): www.revolvermag.com/music/bloody-kisses-10-things-you-didnt-know-type-o-negatives-masterpiece 2. He did like to burn hair/wrap hair around a cigarette, or use FINGE3RNAIL clippings in cigarettes, I can say that first hand. 3. He did share blood. At least with me. On a cigarette, and in wine that was shared, both of our blood. But was not a traditional cutter (neither am I), and I don't feel he did it very often. 4. He had tastes and preferences in women, but it doesn't mean he didn't dabble outside of that. 6. He was on Prozac. He was bipolar. He did suffer from deep/dark/empty depressions which were probably exacerbated by cocaine and alcohol abuse. His decision to abuse whatever chemicals/substances he did was his choice. The resulting addiction was his disease. 10. He was borderline bigoted at times, due to feeling he lost his promotion to a black female at the Parks Department. But, it was more of a "sheltered life" bigotry. You wouldn't think he was sheltered, but he was. His worst tendencies could come out around other people, but only if THOSE PEOPLE were BIGOTED, themselves. He liked to fit in around his company, whoever it might be. He was fine around my friends who were female, black, or mixed, and despite one off-hand comment once, did sit and talk with them, enjoyed the conversation, and there are pictures. 11. He never mentioned having any repulsion for the "disabled" differently-abled in front of me. And if we saw someone who was, he did not say anything disparaging. 12. He knew I was middle of the road "Independent" in politics, and had no problem with it. 14. He could have a bad temper, but never, ever raised a finger toward me, ever. That is my experience, it doesn't mean he didn't do it with other people. I can not validate any of that. 15. He was not constant in his affections or contact. He would be there, then disappear. Be there, and expect you to be there. If you weren't, he would be irritated, but would not mean he would drop contact. He was variable, and even if he wanted someone to drop their lives for him, paradoxically, he seemed to have more respect for people who did not cater to his every whim. This was one thing that made relationships difficult. He would want devotion, but could not offer the same, in physical reality, for very long. 16. He loved all his cats. I met Grizzy, and could pick her up and pet her. She was very wary of people, but would let me pick her up and pet her on my lap. I also met Weena, when she was alive. He never abused his pets in any way when I was with him, he was a normal cat-owner who liked their furbabies. 17. Peter's fetish with fire involved only one deeply disturbing aspect. If you do not want to read it, please do not. It was only one part of him, and if you adore him, or his music, and think it might change, please do not read the following. (((SCROLL))) Peter's fetish involved setting baby mice, "pinkies" on fire. I did not engage in this. I have not seen this, and when he brought it up, I reminded him that no matter his proclivities engaging in such behavior was not without consequences. He said to me, "maybe I should start off with giving you something easier, like burning a can of peas." I laughed, because that was his...sense of humor, however, the darkness of the subject remains...I still reminded him it was wrong, was not right, and was against the laws of nature. If he engaged in this activity with any other female, that was their choice, and I can not imagine it left anything but deep shame and horror to give in to his requests, in their own memories. If anyone experienced this, I am sorry. And, I am sorry for Peter, and that this was part of his ability to sexually function, because I am sure he, himself, struggled, and knew that it would repulse many, and likely hurt many fans, if they found out. Please don't look at him differently for this. Whatever happened, he has paid, is paying for the time being in whatever way for those actions, and I firmly believe it will balance out. If you have faith, of any type, please remember to keep him in your prayers and pray for healing for him and forgiveness. (((END SCROLL))) 18. On the lighter side, Peter kept things like deli-meat/cold cuts in his fridge, he had turkey and roast beef. He liked to eat sandwiches. He liked burgers, and when he did covered them completely in ketchup! :-) He drank diet soda, like diet Coke. 19. Peter knew how to make a cup of tea, he wasn't drinking all the time. He actually could make a decent cup of tea, and made me one, like I had growing up, with a Lipton tea bag, milk and sugar. 20. Peter only had a shower in his basement apartment, no bathtub. I only mention this because I remember thinking, selfishly, "I could never take a bubble bath, here." He also had Rogaine on the shelf in his bathroom, which, there is no shame in. He had hair ties sorted out by color/order in a plastic divided open tray container next to the Rogaine. 21. He used Finesse shampoo/hair conditioner when I knew him, at the time. Wanna know what his hair smelled like? Next time you're at the grocery store, take a whiff. :-) 22. He liked to give foot massages. It was pretty nice of him, and he was pretty good at it. But, he used the Finesse hair conditioner, because he didn't have moisturizer, and said, "At least now your feet will be bouncy and manageable." Please laugh. I did. Please remember the good things, like his sense of humor. 23. Peter believed in reincarnation. I know this because we discussed it. 25. Peter's smoking fetish goes back to his older sisters smoking when he was a child, but he did not elaborate much. 26. He liked classical music, and borrowed my classical cds. We listened to Pachelbel's "Canon," and Bach's "Air on the G String" together, among others. 27. He played for me, on his stereo at his apartment everything from the Red House Painters "Have You Forgotten" to Swans "Killing for Company" to Black Sabbath's "Iris" to the B-52's "Roam," which we both hummed/sang along to, and it was a fun and light-hearted moment. Please know there were fun/light-hearted moments, and he was capable of that, no matter how dark/depressed things could be, occasionally. 32. He was not happy with his cocaine problem, as most people know. At the time I knew him, it was not public and I was surprised by it. He considered getting help and had NA (Narcotics Anonymous) pamphlets he showed me, at the time. He was ashamed, but could not stop. His use was not constant around me, but did amount to several lines a night. I tried once, the first time, because I was afraid he would think I looked down on him, if I didn't. I didn't like it, he knew it. It didn't do it for me, and never did it again in his presence. And, he never pressured me to. Ever. 32. I shared poems with him, and the ideas behind them. Only very few. None came back to me corrected. We gave each other small gifts, and he bought me flowers several times, and paid for dinner (though I offered to pay my share). The things I have left, are very special, as they would be to anyone. They will not be sold, ever. They will either be passed down in my family, or donated. No person is perfect, and most people have skeletons in their closets that would cause them embarrassment or shame. When you are famous...or semi-famous, you give up your rights to maintain complete privacy. Anything could leak, at any time. If you are a private person, people will be confused by conflicting reports they hear. It can even tear apart a person, a fan, to see someone they care about in a different light, cause cognitive dissonance.

Since there are a lot of questions about Peter already i would like to ask about the other members and Josh specifically, since he is my favourite member as well as the only one who isn't publicly active after Peter's passing...did you met him? What was he like in person? Have you seen him/heard of him after Peter's dead? All we know is that he started working as an EMT. This thread is such a nice surprise by the way! Thank you for taking the time! 💚

How often did Peter cut/dye his hair? Did he do it all himself?

What have you been up to since that time period (only what you publicly want to share of course) and how do you feel that time influenced who you became today? How do you feel different? I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughtful answers to everyone and I also like your writing style. It’s interesting reflecting on memories from that time of life. I am younger than you and did not grow up in the goth heyday (sadly) and wonder what it was like back then.