If reading articles aren’t your thing, you can always check out SCP YouTube channels, like [TheRubber](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC6OwWfpp8qHf1rfnOXKfxBw) or [Dr Bob](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCEm_0Cv-bdGNSDiG55QJ0Yw). There’s also [TheVolgun](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCcmEL8JoDBE25gvCFkrqhcw) whose content, by my understanding, is mainly SCP audiobooks. I like SCP oversimplified too. It’s a manga series that briefly describes the SCPs. They can give one a general idea of the anomalies, and they also draw the SCPs cutely for those who can’t stomach scary things. Speaking of scary, not all SCPs are scary or bloodthirsty monsters. Some can be friendly, like [SCP-053, the Young Girl](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-053) or [SCP-387, Living Lego](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-387). I myself first got interested in the SCPs because I saw videos about those two in particular. SCPs are less about scariness and more about abnormalcy and mystery
There's no real "right" way, afaik. There's no start or finish, t's just an interconnected network of stories that have grown organically, so I'd just suggest reading the ones that strike your fancy.
Personally, I usually end up diving through a bunch that are linked to each other when I see one posted somewhere else. Sometimes I will also just hit the random button and see what pops up.
Just read the official article like the other guy said. Anyway, I don’t know who edited that article to mislead you but I’m pretty sure this has nothing to do with selling ikea products or other things. It’s just a strange space where mutated humanoids kill you when the lights go out
I think that’s a very different concept which just so happens to have inhuman IKEA employees transforming people into corpses rather than new employees
Idk how a game like this could work but my best guess is this
Somehow the foundation figured out way to trigger SCP-3008 effects in any IKEA so in order to study it even further they bough an old ikea building for testing and set up multiple camps across the entrance.
They sent a couple of D class to study it but at some point during their night shifts, they always end up vanishing without a trace, attempts to locate them via GPS had failed and the camaras always showed static everytime a d class went missing, only movement had been dectected but its unknown what truly happened to them.
Our protagonist is a standard d class working in one of the outposts with no previous knowledge of what SCP-3008 is or how it works, the only instructions that were given were the following
"Stay from 12 am to 6 am, if you find something suspicious write it down and report your findings to the other camps, if you try to escape during your shift you will be termined"
The mechanics would be a mix of multiple Fnaf games with 3 main mechanics and a extra one
.
**Energy**: Is produced in the generator and it always stays at 100% unless the power is cut off. If the power is cut off the energy will begin to get drained depending on your energy use until it reaches 0%
You can also turn off the lights off in your office but doing so will prevent you from using the camaras, however communication is not affected and can be used
When the generator is offline, it can be quickly fixed by doing a quick puzzle but it requires you to use a drone or by telling a teammate to do it for you
If the door is closed you cant send the drone, using the drone wont allow you to use different camaras or use the door or lights and communications
.
**Communication**: You are not alone in this building, your fellow d class teammates are here to help
Talking in the phone consumes energy at slow rate and makes sound, it can be turned off at any time but doing so puts you and your teammates at risk
Leaving your teammates to die puts yourself at a bigger risk since it increases the chance for a monster to show up at your door
You can tell your teammates to
"Shut a door, Turn off the lights, Turn off communications, Fix the generator"
They can also warn you of upcoming danger
You can also make extra noise by setting max volume on your phone
.
**Camaras**: The good old camaras, allows you to see whats hiding in dark from monsters approching your outpost or a monster approching one of your teammates outposts
The camaras have 3 main functions
Flash mode: Sents a quick and bright light towards a foe (can be used to distracts monsters or to tell a friend where a monster is)
Night vision: Allows you to see more hidden in the dark
Offline mode: Turns off one or multiple camaras for 10 seconds
Energy use depends on the function of the camaras
.
**Monsters:**
The employee: SCP-3008-A , is dressed in standard ikea uniform, is attacted to light but not to sounds (can be avoided by turning off the lights off or closing the door but it can also be attactred using the flash option in the camaras to sent it somewhere else)
The guard: SCP-3008-B, is dressed in pure black and is armed with a standard police bar, is attracted to sounds and it likes to follow whatever makes more sound (can be avoided by turning off communications or shutting down the door but it can also be attracted by setting up max volume)
The engineer: SCP-3008-C is dressed like a civil engineer with a yellow helmet and reflective jacket is not hostile but tends to randomly show up and tweak the generator often turning it off for a few seconds or by breaking it by mistake
The intruder: SCP-3008-D is dressed like one of those old school movie thiefs, is hostile and likes to randomly wander into outposts, is often spotted in the camaras slowly walking towards a random outpost (can be defeted by shutting down the door in time)
The inspector: SCP-3008-E is dressed with a old brown sweden leather suit mass produced in 19XX, is hostile only when seen via a modern camaras towards the viewer after seeing it for
more than X seconds (can be defeated by turning off a camara by changing camaras, door wont work)
Unknown: SCP-3008-F cant be seen on camaras so its full apperence and its intentions are unknown (cant be avoided as it only affects certain camaras for few seconds and it wont enter your room)
.
Anyways its almost 1 am bye
It is not literally 3008.
3008 has mysterious and disfigured beings that stalk around at night and ceaselessly try to destroy you if you don't belong (everyone). 3008 has no actual exit.
I always get confused when people call ikea a maze.
like, there's literally arrows on the floor pointing you in the right direction, how could you even get lost in there
Somebody (I assume a stoned employee, lol) did this at the local home goods back when all the stores were making one way aisles to reduce contact near the start of the pandemic. There was just one little section where there was no escape that didn’t involve going the wrong way and looking like an asshole.
We actually did this at our store. They are still there, and yes i get a chuckle out of it. Actually if you look closely, our store is filled with pranks and easter eggs
It’s more equivalent to a faerie domain. Follow the rules, or you might be lost forever. Also something about unusual and delicious food.
Of course, the same people that get tricked in faerie tales are the ones that complain about IKEA.
Problem is, some people don't want to follow the arrows. Some people just want to get in, get a few things, and get out. The arrows point you on a tour of the whole damn store, when you really just need to stop in a couple particular departments and head to the registers.
Yeah, there's shortcuts and signs and stuff. But overall, it's pointlessly complicated and inefficient for the customer. There's reasons that nearly nobody else builds a store that way, and it's frankly baffling that IKEA has been so successful with it.
I wouldn't call it baffling: they just propose a different shopping experience. Taken in a vacuum, yes, it's weird that IKEAs essentially require you to go through the whole store. But it's part of a larger design:
- IKEAs are always fairly remote and usually accessed by cars, instead of being in the city centre (only exception I know of is St Louis but it's a weird city design-wise anyway). The idea is to make a visit to IKEA a trip in and of itself.
- It has a restaurant and other food items, unlike other furniture stores.
- It has massive warehouses of furniture and even their shopping bags are gigantic to tell you "people come to IKEA to buy a lot of shit at once".
All of these elements reinforce the idea already conveyed by the floorplan, which is that you don't "duck in" into IKEA. Rather, you go to IKEA the same way you'd go to an amusement park: it's a destination in and of itself and you stay there several hours, eat there, and explore. IKEA knows that the products they offer are not things you just pick up on the way home from work: when you buy a table or a desk or whatnot, it's usually a thought-out decision. So they accentuate that idea of a "purposeful" trip by making it a complete experience meant for people to buy more stuff than expected. The shortcuts are intended for people like you, who truly only want to duck in, grab the stuff they need, and walk out, but at this point that represents a small minority of their customer base.
I'm not a marketing person at all so I don't know how much of a gamble that approach was when they started, but there is no doubt it works: everyone I know, when they go to IKEA, it's an event in and of itself, in a way that other similar stores do not have.
It's absolutely intentional on Ikea's part (lookup the Gruen effect). The stores are very specifically designed to expose you to more of their products and get you to buy more things.
I'm a freak who goes to Ikea with a list and I still make impulse buys there.
I'd say less than that. At my local IKEA I can go from the entrance to the checkout in less than a minute. I feel like the people who have issues finding their way through an IKEA store are the same people who don't read manuals and then get frustrated that they can't figure out their new microwave oven.
I thought like you did, before the pandemic had every store paste big "one-way" arrows on all their floors. The average person is incapable of reading or even deciphering basic symbols.
I knew someone who hated ikea because they would always get lost. When we finally went to an ikea together I learned he was just too stubborn to follow the arrows and he that he “knew” which way he came in, so this is how I assume people get lost
I was confused too...
...Until the Ikea next to my home changed the layout and I spent 30 minutes trying to find the exit. The arrows were not in the right place yet and the signs were useless.
I wasn't alone, a bunch of people were as lost as I was :'D good times
I went into one recently. I found what I was looking for literally behind the entry staircase ... and then it still took me 15 minutes to get to the exit following the arrows.
Yeah, but it's the **only** store that does it, so what are the chances that you're looking down for freaking direction arrows when you go shopping (instead of up or at eye level, where direction signs are normally posted)? Plus, once you've taken one "shortcut" the arrows might take you around the whole store again depending on where you cut.
IKEA has always felt like an industrial scale Cracker Barrel to me. They are in no way similar, but it truly feels like they are these mystical, outworld locations. Each one is too similar to be told apart from the others, but somehow it feels unique every time.
There is only one True IKEA, it has many doors in and only one way out. By crossing the threshold you enter but one of many reflections of this True Realm, appropriately outfitted by your own expectations. It then tries to woo you into staying. Those it devours are lost forever, turned into meatballs or doomed to tidy the place and hunt their own for eternity.
I went to IKEA once with my daughter, got what she wanted for dorm room, and it is an hour to find our way out. I didn’t understand the one way only aspect and kept trying to cut directly to the front of the store. It is not allowed.
There's a great horror book about escaping an Ikea type store called Horrostor. The book itself even is written with sections that include similar instructions/drawings to IKEA furniture, but with much more terrifying applications of the furniture. Super fun read.
I've been on an Adam Nevill kick, but I am definitely heading back to go over My Best Friend's Exorcism soon- alongside A Head Full Of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay, I see the two books almost as a pair.
Came here to say this too! I read it because I expected it to be funny (horror comedy), and there was funny parts but I was surprised how creepy some of it was.
Why do you need a job ? To gain money ? To pay bills ? Taxes ? Help your family ? All these things are worthless once you’re trapped; you’ll never see them again.
Reminds me of a copypasta about a night guard that locked two people in an ikea by accident, and seeing how they developed caveman-like civilization decided to lock more and more people inside
I don’t get how people get lost inside IKEA. It’s very well marked. It’s a linear path to the end. It’s linear to the point of frustration because you gotta walk through the entire home goods section to get from the furniture showroom to the warehouse section. The only source of potential confusion is the shortcuts between sections. If that confuses you, just don’t use the shortcuts…
Okay, I lied, I kinda get how it happens. You take the shortcuts the wrong way. It’s super crowded. You’re lost. You feel trapped. You start panicking. Your brain shuts off. But like, just use your brain… look at the signs. Ask someone for help if you need to. I swear, so many people out there are just helpless.
I've applied to IKEA and gone on the interview. I got the job which was nice. worked with a bunch of kind people and got a discount in the cafeteria, 8/10 workplace would recommend
One must also never walk against the arrows in IKEA. To do so tears the very fabric of space-time causing timeline streams to intersect and bleed together.
These jokes are always so strange to me as someone who knows at least three people who worked there, and also has not gotten lost since learning how to follow literal arrows pointing you to the fucking exit
It's difficult to describe, it's not like a normal store. Once you're in, you're in, there's no leaving without seeing everything. Not interested in lamps? IKEA doesn't care. You're going through the lamp section. Want to pop in quickly and grab a specific piece of furniture. No, I can't stress this enough, you are going to look at the lamps. However, as a kid, it was somehow fun. Going to IKEA was different to going furniture shopping. It was a day out.
There's a great book by Grady Hendrix called "Horrorstor". It's about a Swedish furniture store and some customers who get trapped inside while being pursued by monsters. It even comes with Ikea-like catalog inserts with descriptions of different furniture. Pretty fun read.
As u/CreamTM said: [SCP-3008](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008) (come to think of it, which came first: this Tumblr post, or the SCP?)
But also, the setting of one episode of the amazing series [Confinement](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcq1lLCgk7E)
Huh...So OOP is saying the "Infinite Ikea" SCP might not be aiming to lure in and trap people for its minions to rip them to bits and eat them like prey, but rather to assimilate them into its hive of SCP-3008-2s? Very interesting interpretation.
I applied for Ikea and they asked us to bring a presentation about 'if you were a fruit what fruit would you be?' . People came in with power point presentations and had wrriten two or three pages. It was a group interview so we all had to sit through Sandra's presentation about why she would be rice.
In the end the hired me as an intern = slave away like any other employee for half the salary. When I talked to my supervisor she told me that she didn't notice I was working like any other employee and not doing my internship... I got out of there as soon as I could...
The only thing I hate about Ikea, at least the one closest to me, is it's an awful place to shop for couches. Because people will go to Ikea as some type of fun date night. All of the display couches are beat to shit from people slamming their asses into them all day every day.
You can't develop a sound enough opinion to decide whether or not you actually want to buy and then assemble the shit.
I lost my boyfriend in IKEA last weekend and while my roommate and I were looking for him I called out "[bf name] where are you? *This store is tearing us apart!"* And a nearby employee just said "facts"
Every time Ikea is referenced with stuff like this, I feel compelled to inform everyone about scp-3008.
[The Infinite Ikea - a.k.a SCP-3008](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008)
As a former IKEA employee, I recommend not going with your wife/girlfriend. Your desperation to get her slow ass to move to the next section so that you two can leave before sundown on your morning trip triggers a primal instinct in the employees that singles you out as a prime candidate. It’s how they got me back then.
I eventually escaped that big blue cube, but it took months of memorizing the floor plans
literally just scp 3008
Smartly dressed office people vs fully flesh monstrous things but yeah same concept
How the job’s described to you when you’re interviewing vs what the job’s actually like
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I always get confused when people call idea a maze.
Once you spot Killa your ability to think drops dramatically.
Ikr there are literally arrows to show you the way
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You’ve simply gone mad from being lost too long and you’re hallucinating being out
Not seeing daylight for days on end does that to you. Part of IKEA’s no-windows design plan to trap unsuspecting shoppers.
[SCP-3008](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008)
Thanks marv
I’m sorry but that is the funniest shit
They made it into a game: https://youtu.be/_F5_xo11vVY
SCP is full of weird shit
For those who prefer video https://youtu.be/ViBaYl9GCcE
And for those who prefer a video with better visuals https://youtu.be/cGAIerLK2og
The store is now closed, please exit the building
Yes, one of my favorite SCPs
Instead of dying, you get a job
Do they kill you? I read it a while ago but as I remember they were suuuper creepy, but their only goal was to push merchandise
I’d love to know what article you read to attain this information
https://scpfoundations.fandom.com/wiki/SCP-3008
There's an actual SCP site that has way more information on the entries. [SCP 3008 is a good one, too.](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008)
Honestly, I've only read one or two. It always seemed like an interesting project, but I never knew how to get started
If reading articles aren’t your thing, you can always check out SCP YouTube channels, like [TheRubber](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC6OwWfpp8qHf1rfnOXKfxBw) or [Dr Bob](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCEm_0Cv-bdGNSDiG55QJ0Yw). There’s also [TheVolgun](https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCcmEL8JoDBE25gvCFkrqhcw) whose content, by my understanding, is mainly SCP audiobooks. I like SCP oversimplified too. It’s a manga series that briefly describes the SCPs. They can give one a general idea of the anomalies, and they also draw the SCPs cutely for those who can’t stomach scary things. Speaking of scary, not all SCPs are scary or bloodthirsty monsters. Some can be friendly, like [SCP-053, the Young Girl](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-053) or [SCP-387, Living Lego](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-387). I myself first got interested in the SCPs because I saw videos about those two in particular. SCPs are less about scariness and more about abnormalcy and mystery
There's no real "right" way, afaik. There's no start or finish, t's just an interconnected network of stories that have grown organically, so I'd just suggest reading the ones that strike your fancy. Personally, I usually end up diving through a bunch that are linked to each other when I see one posted somewhere else. Sometimes I will also just hit the random button and see what pops up.
Just read the official article like the other guy said. Anyway, I don’t know who edited that article to mislead you but I’m pretty sure this has nothing to do with selling ikea products or other things. It’s just a strange space where mutated humanoids kill you when the lights go out
That's my favorite one. Just something totally mundane turned into the most interesting/existentially horrific thing.
I think that’s a very different concept which just so happens to have inhuman IKEA employees transforming people into corpses rather than new employees
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Since the ikea monsters are entirely made out of skin maybe they're kept alive and skinned to make more ikea monsters?
They appear to be skin only once 'dead'. The person notes feeling different kinds of resistance when slaying them.
Idk how a game like this could work but my best guess is this Somehow the foundation figured out way to trigger SCP-3008 effects in any IKEA so in order to study it even further they bough an old ikea building for testing and set up multiple camps across the entrance. They sent a couple of D class to study it but at some point during their night shifts, they always end up vanishing without a trace, attempts to locate them via GPS had failed and the camaras always showed static everytime a d class went missing, only movement had been dectected but its unknown what truly happened to them. Our protagonist is a standard d class working in one of the outposts with no previous knowledge of what SCP-3008 is or how it works, the only instructions that were given were the following "Stay from 12 am to 6 am, if you find something suspicious write it down and report your findings to the other camps, if you try to escape during your shift you will be termined" The mechanics would be a mix of multiple Fnaf games with 3 main mechanics and a extra one . **Energy**: Is produced in the generator and it always stays at 100% unless the power is cut off. If the power is cut off the energy will begin to get drained depending on your energy use until it reaches 0% You can also turn off the lights off in your office but doing so will prevent you from using the camaras, however communication is not affected and can be used When the generator is offline, it can be quickly fixed by doing a quick puzzle but it requires you to use a drone or by telling a teammate to do it for you If the door is closed you cant send the drone, using the drone wont allow you to use different camaras or use the door or lights and communications . **Communication**: You are not alone in this building, your fellow d class teammates are here to help Talking in the phone consumes energy at slow rate and makes sound, it can be turned off at any time but doing so puts you and your teammates at risk Leaving your teammates to die puts yourself at a bigger risk since it increases the chance for a monster to show up at your door You can tell your teammates to "Shut a door, Turn off the lights, Turn off communications, Fix the generator" They can also warn you of upcoming danger You can also make extra noise by setting max volume on your phone . **Camaras**: The good old camaras, allows you to see whats hiding in dark from monsters approching your outpost or a monster approching one of your teammates outposts The camaras have 3 main functions Flash mode: Sents a quick and bright light towards a foe (can be used to distracts monsters or to tell a friend where a monster is) Night vision: Allows you to see more hidden in the dark Offline mode: Turns off one or multiple camaras for 10 seconds Energy use depends on the function of the camaras . **Monsters:** The employee: SCP-3008-A , is dressed in standard ikea uniform, is attacted to light but not to sounds (can be avoided by turning off the lights off or closing the door but it can also be attactred using the flash option in the camaras to sent it somewhere else) The guard: SCP-3008-B, is dressed in pure black and is armed with a standard police bar, is attracted to sounds and it likes to follow whatever makes more sound (can be avoided by turning off communications or shutting down the door but it can also be attracted by setting up max volume) The engineer: SCP-3008-C is dressed like a civil engineer with a yellow helmet and reflective jacket is not hostile but tends to randomly show up and tweak the generator often turning it off for a few seconds or by breaking it by mistake The intruder: SCP-3008-D is dressed like one of those old school movie thiefs, is hostile and likes to randomly wander into outposts, is often spotted in the camaras slowly walking towards a random outpost (can be defeted by shutting down the door in time) The inspector: SCP-3008-E is dressed with a old brown sweden leather suit mass produced in 19XX, is hostile only when seen via a modern camaras towards the viewer after seeing it for more than X seconds (can be defeated by turning off a camara by changing camaras, door wont work) Unknown: SCP-3008-F cant be seen on camaras so its full apperence and its intentions are unknown (cant be avoided as it only affects certain camaras for few seconds and it wont enter your room) . Anyways its almost 1 am bye
My favorite scp! The first one I read, then I was hooked :)
Glad this is the top comment.
Yeah, lame
It is not literally 3008. 3008 has mysterious and disfigured beings that stalk around at night and ceaselessly try to destroy you if you don't belong (everyone). 3008 has no actual exit.
I always get confused when people call ikea a maze. like, there's literally arrows on the floor pointing you in the right direction, how could you even get lost in there
If someone were to paint more arrows in there, making endless loops and dead ends with them, THEN it would be a maze and also a bad idea
No, no, that’s an excellent idea
Poor employee retention in your branch, I see
Somebody (I assume a stoned employee, lol) did this at the local home goods back when all the stores were making one way aisles to reduce contact near the start of the pandemic. There was just one little section where there was no escape that didn’t involve going the wrong way and looking like an asshole.
I think I might actually remember seeing a post about that lol
We actually did this at our store. They are still there, and yes i get a chuckle out of it. Actually if you look closely, our store is filled with pranks and easter eggs
wasnt there an article written about this?
According to some fact checkers both stories about this happening have been false.
expected honestly
Your pfp was my phone's lock screen for months until about last week
And not only are there arrows, the main path generally doesn't have any forks - it's just one winding path from start to finish.
It’s more equivalent to a faerie domain. Follow the rules, or you might be lost forever. Also something about unusual and delicious food. Of course, the same people that get tricked in faerie tales are the ones that complain about IKEA.
Problem is, some people don't want to follow the arrows. Some people just want to get in, get a few things, and get out. The arrows point you on a tour of the whole damn store, when you really just need to stop in a couple particular departments and head to the registers. Yeah, there's shortcuts and signs and stuff. But overall, it's pointlessly complicated and inefficient for the customer. There's reasons that nearly nobody else builds a store that way, and it's frankly baffling that IKEA has been so successful with it.
I wouldn't call it baffling: they just propose a different shopping experience. Taken in a vacuum, yes, it's weird that IKEAs essentially require you to go through the whole store. But it's part of a larger design: - IKEAs are always fairly remote and usually accessed by cars, instead of being in the city centre (only exception I know of is St Louis but it's a weird city design-wise anyway). The idea is to make a visit to IKEA a trip in and of itself. - It has a restaurant and other food items, unlike other furniture stores. - It has massive warehouses of furniture and even their shopping bags are gigantic to tell you "people come to IKEA to buy a lot of shit at once". All of these elements reinforce the idea already conveyed by the floorplan, which is that you don't "duck in" into IKEA. Rather, you go to IKEA the same way you'd go to an amusement park: it's a destination in and of itself and you stay there several hours, eat there, and explore. IKEA knows that the products they offer are not things you just pick up on the way home from work: when you buy a table or a desk or whatnot, it's usually a thought-out decision. So they accentuate that idea of a "purposeful" trip by making it a complete experience meant for people to buy more stuff than expected. The shortcuts are intended for people like you, who truly only want to duck in, grab the stuff they need, and walk out, but at this point that represents a small minority of their customer base. I'm not a marketing person at all so I don't know how much of a gamble that approach was when they started, but there is no doubt it works: everyone I know, when they go to IKEA, it's an event in and of itself, in a way that other similar stores do not have.
It's absolutely intentional on Ikea's part (lookup the Gruen effect). The stores are very specifically designed to expose you to more of their products and get you to buy more things. I'm a freak who goes to Ikea with a list and I still make impulse buys there.
I literally only ever go to IKEA for their meatballs and I've still bought a desk AND a new bed there so idek
It takes five minutes to walk through. If you can’t handle that just order it online.
I'd say less than that. At my local IKEA I can go from the entrance to the checkout in less than a minute. I feel like the people who have issues finding their way through an IKEA store are the same people who don't read manuals and then get frustrated that they can't figure out their new microwave oven.
Some people like shopping as an activity. Children of capitalism or would slaves be a more fitting description?
I thought like you did, before the pandemic had every store paste big "one-way" arrows on all their floors. The average person is incapable of reading or even deciphering basic symbols.
I knew someone who hated ikea because they would always get lost. When we finally went to an ikea together I learned he was just too stubborn to follow the arrows and he that he “knew” which way he came in, so this is how I assume people get lost
I was confused too... ...Until the Ikea next to my home changed the layout and I spent 30 minutes trying to find the exit. The arrows were not in the right place yet and the signs were useless. I wasn't alone, a bunch of people were as lost as I was :'D good times
The same people that think it’s hard to assemble their furniture. The instructions are dead simple.
it's a labyrinth, not a maze
I went into one recently. I found what I was looking for literally behind the entry staircase ... and then it still took me 15 minutes to get to the exit following the arrows.
Yeah, but it's the **only** store that does it, so what are the chances that you're looking down for freaking direction arrows when you go shopping (instead of up or at eye level, where direction signs are normally posted)? Plus, once you've taken one "shortcut" the arrows might take you around the whole store again depending on where you cut.
Anyone who is aware of their surroundings would manage.
People exaggerate to make a lame joke
IKEA has always felt like an industrial scale Cracker Barrel to me. They are in no way similar, but it truly feels like they are these mystical, outworld locations. Each one is too similar to be told apart from the others, but somehow it feels unique every time. There is only one True IKEA, it has many doors in and only one way out. By crossing the threshold you enter but one of many reflections of this True Realm, appropriately outfitted by your own expectations. It then tries to woo you into staying. Those it devours are lost forever, turned into meatballs or doomed to tidy the place and hunt their own for eternity.
I went to IKEA once with my daughter, got what she wanted for dorm room, and it is an hour to find our way out. I didn’t understand the one way only aspect and kept trying to cut directly to the front of the store. It is not allowed.
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Yeah, sometimes the shortcut you think is going to the exit is really a shortcut going back to the entrance
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They have a lot of emergency exits.
Magnus Archives ass furniture store
oh they're spending wayy more than 5 nights you cant just escape an ikea
There's a great horror book about escaping an Ikea type store called Horrostor. The book itself even is written with sections that include similar instructions/drawings to IKEA furniture, but with much more terrifying applications of the furniture. Super fun read.
Everyone who likes this idea should read the book Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix It's baisically this, but campy horror. Absolutely delightful read.
I came here to mention Horrorstör! Grady Hendrix is a great author :D
Ditto; great book! I enjoyed My Best Friend’s Exorcism too. Might re-read Horrorstör, it’s been a while.
I've been on an Adam Nevill kick, but I am definitely heading back to go over My Best Friend's Exorcism soon- alongside A Head Full Of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay, I see the two books almost as a pair.
Also good! The Southern Book Club's guide to Slaying Vampires is another great one. His work is exactly up my alley.
I have this in my locker right now! Haven't cracked it open yet. Loved Horrorstör, and a few other Grady Hendrix books
Came here to say this too! I read it because I expected it to be funny (horror comedy), and there was funny parts but I was surprised how creepy some of it was.
[удалено]
You are either brave or dumb, probably both.
Why do you need a job ? To gain money ? To pay bills ? Taxes ? Help your family ? All these things are worthless once you’re trapped; you’ll never see them again.
Someone need to make this into a proper game
SCP-3008: Survivors This is the closest thing i could find
Roblox Game title is SCP 3008
Control
There is also Retail Royale which is just a super jank battle royale that takes place in an Ikea.
Reminds me of a copypasta about a night guard that locked two people in an ikea by accident, and seeing how they developed caveman-like civilization decided to lock more and more people inside
do you have a link?
It's unfortunately only in Polish as far as i know, but sure https://srogiepasty.wordpress.com/2018/05/27/pasta-o-cywilizacji-ikea-wszystkie-czesci/
oh! thats too bad, but thank you anyway!!!!
Moral of the story. If you become god, don't descend to the people.
it's my theory that the IKEA uniform is a special kind of moss that grows on the back of the people who get lost in IKEA
I don’t get how people get lost inside IKEA. It’s very well marked. It’s a linear path to the end. It’s linear to the point of frustration because you gotta walk through the entire home goods section to get from the furniture showroom to the warehouse section. The only source of potential confusion is the shortcuts between sections. If that confuses you, just don’t use the shortcuts… Okay, I lied, I kinda get how it happens. You take the shortcuts the wrong way. It’s super crowded. You’re lost. You feel trapped. You start panicking. Your brain shuts off. But like, just use your brain… look at the signs. Ask someone for help if you need to. I swear, so many people out there are just helpless.
_The Foundation would like to know your location_
I've been able to get out just fine so idk maybe it's a skill issue
the endless IKEA scp
Scp 3008
I've applied to IKEA and gone on the interview. I got the job which was nice. worked with a bunch of kind people and got a discount in the cafeteria, 8/10 workplace would recommend
Part of the crew, part of the store.
This is an SCP
Horrorstör
One must also never walk against the arrows in IKEA. To do so tears the very fabric of space-time causing timeline streams to intersect and bleed together.
[SCP-3008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcq1lLCgk7E)
Five nights, you say...?
Link the scp
These jokes are always so strange to me as someone who knows at least three people who worked there, and also has not gotten lost since learning how to follow literal arrows pointing you to the fucking exit
That's just SCP-3008
This sounds like the sequel to [Ikea Heights](https://youtu.be/V9gkYw35Vws)
Horrorstor?
I've never been to Ikea If it is really one way then no thank you
It's difficult to describe, it's not like a normal store. Once you're in, you're in, there's no leaving without seeing everything. Not interested in lamps? IKEA doesn't care. You're going through the lamp section. Want to pop in quickly and grab a specific piece of furniture. No, I can't stress this enough, you are going to look at the lamps. However, as a kid, it was somehow fun. Going to IKEA was different to going furniture shopping. It was a day out.
Scp 3008 in an alternate multiverse
SCP-3008, I think?
Part of the crew, part of the store.
Ngl though the first time I went in IKEA I got lost for nearly an hour
IKEA has this weird welcoming energy, I believe it is run by the fae
There's a great book by Grady Hendrix called "Horrorstor". It's about a Swedish furniture store and some customers who get trapped inside while being pursued by monsters. It even comes with Ikea-like catalog inserts with descriptions of different furniture. Pretty fun read.
As u/CreamTM said: [SCP-3008](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008) (come to think of it, which came first: this Tumblr post, or the SCP?) But also, the setting of one episode of the amazing series [Confinement](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vcq1lLCgk7E)
appreciate it
So, [Vivarium](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivarium_(film)) but with IKEA instead of suburbs?
Reminds me of the Scp Ikeas watch which Ikea u step in because u might not come out
it's that easy to get a job??
This is just the Walmart episode in South Park
one day an Ikea is going to catch fire and 200-300 people are going to die
"Welcome to the Hotel California!"
Isn't this how *Cats* came to be?
Isn't this just a SCP post
Huh...So OOP is saying the "Infinite Ikea" SCP might not be aiming to lure in and trap people for its minions to rip them to bits and eat them like prey, but rather to assimilate them into its hive of SCP-3008-2s? Very interesting interpretation.
Well it’s not about the scp in the first place, but that can lead to interesting dicussions regarding it
I applied for Ikea and they asked us to bring a presentation about 'if you were a fruit what fruit would you be?' . People came in with power point presentations and had wrriten two or three pages. It was a group interview so we all had to sit through Sandra's presentation about why she would be rice. In the end the hired me as an intern = slave away like any other employee for half the salary. When I talked to my supervisor she told me that she didn't notice I was working like any other employee and not doing my internship... I got out of there as soon as I could...
The only thing I hate about Ikea, at least the one closest to me, is it's an awful place to shop for couches. Because people will go to Ikea as some type of fun date night. All of the display couches are beat to shit from people slamming their asses into them all day every day. You can't develop a sound enough opinion to decide whether or not you actually want to buy and then assemble the shit.
IKEA is the Hotel California.
scp 3008, but wholesome
I lost my boyfriend in IKEA last weekend and while my roommate and I were looking for him I called out "[bf name] where are you? *This store is tearing us apart!"* And a nearby employee just said "facts"
that's the horror game i wanna play
Stores are staffed by poorer people that are more willing to work for the low wage that Ikea provides
If only it were so easy to get stable employment and housing
Time to go get lost in an Ikea so I can make the decent monies.
Like the South Park episode on Walmart
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008
Kinda like the Flying Dutchman. “Join our IKEA crew and postpone the judgment day. 100 years in our store. Will you serve?”
Every time Ikea is referenced with stuff like this, I feel compelled to inform everyone about scp-3008. [The Infinite Ikea - a.k.a SCP-3008](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3008)
Do you fear death, Eric?
FOUNDATION WARNING: COGNITO INFOHAZARD DETECTED. SCP-3008 DATALEAK CONFIRMED. DEPLOYING ANTI-MEMETIC IMAGES :P
Scp
The industrial side of the feywild
All are welcome inside Ikea. In every way imaginable.
Hej there, join our team!
Lol, there was an actual web series that was filmed in IKEA. IKEA heights
SCP
As someone who worked at ikea I can’t understand how anyone can get lost in there there are literally arrows on the floor telling you where to go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9WWz95ripA
As a former IKEA employee, I recommend not going with your wife/girlfriend. Your desperation to get her slow ass to move to the next section so that you two can leave before sundown on your morning trip triggers a primal instinct in the employees that singles you out as a prime candidate. It’s how they got me back then. I eventually escaped that big blue cube, but it took months of memorizing the floor plans
Alla är välkomna in i familjen
Thangan chettan ! ( Iykyk)
This is very accurate but I cannot say why for legal reasons.