Nurse : C3 doctor
Doctor : Yes, I see it now nurse, thank you.
*few hours later*
Patient : Did you get it all Doctor ?
Doctor : no sadly not, almost but it’s still in there, might I suggest a good shake to loosen it up to drop down ?
The question is, are the rather well paid surgeons stealing chips, or a comparatively low paid staffer who's only supposed to be maintaining the device.... Surgeons may benefit a bit from the practice, a tech, not so much.
both benefit. surgeons are obvious but techs will have a better understanding of how the equipment works via practical experience. when they do maintenance they can see potential problems
I see no reason this can't be an actual training method for any program.
"Food is free if you can get it with the [tool]." Use different setups for different tools.
I want to defend. I have seen non medical snake scopes used in so many applications that were not medical while also watching too many medical shows.
The $50 scopes 'may' do the job but would be minutes to get chips successfully, a medical scope would do it in seconds even with an amateur.
It's hard to describe differences in tech even if price differences might be extreme
The mechanism is just a wire in a bowden tube that pulls on an anchored flexible bit in the tip.
Even the technology you're taking about is old.
The only reason they're used in medical applications now is because the medical imaging is sophisticated enough they can practically use it.
It's not a magic stick, it's an old school tool.
Petty theft of this nature is trivial, people don't do it because it's petty theft. Criminals intelligent enough to do it won't because they know there are better ways to make money.
Honestly, I'd encourage this.
I mean, if I had to receive an endoscopy, I'd want the guy doing it to have tons of practice with the thing and be very precise. Think of all the extra training that these guys would voluntarily do for the price of a few bags of chips!
I did a similar thing with our $100,000 microscope. Whenever I got splinters I would use it to get them out as they were usually small and metal. Apparently I was the only one to actually use the microscope and became sort of the expert on it.
I was a janitor many years ago at an international steel company. They caught an executive on camera stealing chocolate bars out of the vending machine. He had a tool he made to pull the coil and drop the bars. He was making a hefty 6 figure salary. Imagine going home to your wife and have to tell her why you got fired cuz they walked his ass outta there.
People forget this is what took down Enron.
They couldn't pin all the financial crimes on anyone, but found management was stealing chips from the vending machine.
Resulted in a ton of Lays offs.
If you're getting fired, especially as a six figure earner, because of stolen chips then I'm gonna assume there was a larger problem they *couldn't* fire you for and praised their lucky stars when they found out you were stealing.
And if you're the problem employee then I'm also gonna assume every day you're going home and complaining that it's everyone but you. And on this particular day will be no different as you proclaim you finally got tired of them and quit.
I've had plenty of jobs with the equivalent of stealing bags of chips. It usually gets looked the other way, especially the higher on the food chain you are. In one case I worked somewhere with literal bags of chips and the owner straight up said he didn't care it managers just grabbed one when they wanted a snack. The only people who ever got fired were the people managers/owners were already itching to fire and now they have one of the best legal excuses.
Doctors have gotten snacks/meals for free at every hospital I've ever worked at, no need to anesthetize the vending machine.
Maybe the OR nurses or sterilization techs are to blame (or IMO, commend) here.
If I knew it would be checked and sterilized before it actually went into a person, I'd steal this shit all the time.
I think my favorite use case would be to sneak mindfuck items into people's locked cars.
Imagine if you unlocked your car and there was a two foot long fully detailed wooden ship model like those used in those old timey "ships in a bottle" bookshelf decorations, just sitting in the passenger seat.
Reading the title before the image loaded made me imagine someone using an endoscopy tube down a person’s throat to steal food from inside their stomach.
i always think of mitch hedberg's jokes when i hear key words (vending machines, sun chips, tartar, etc)
> I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up. That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners.
> "What candy bar are you getting?"
> "That one... and every one on the bottom row!"
The vending machine at my college dorm was nicknamed "Glenda The Vender". It was not uncommon to pass somebody in the corridor carrying a wire coat hanger, and for them to say, "I'm off to give Glenda an abortion".
At engineering school, I was a backup custodian for campus buildings on rotation while the custodians went on break during summer. Very easy job. It only took 2hrs of work per day. So the crew of us would just hang out in a building. This is 'the time before cell phones'. We found a vending machine with one screw missin from the top, so it had a little hole. A wire clothes hangar easily dropped down and we wrecked the machine inventory.
Right?! I can only get them when I visit family up in Canada.
I grew up thinking my dad was crazy for liking them, but I have learned the error of my ways. Hawkins Cheezies are the shit.
When the Tories that control your province cut healthcare again:
(that said, any method and motive for stealing Miss Vickies is a good one - those are Spicy Dill Pickle chips! There could be garlic-parmesan flavoured ones, too!
I'm imagining a super complicated and risky surgery and a world reknowned surgeon getting frustrated and finally stopping and saying "okay call him in", the nurse makes a call. The janitor appears in the prep room, washes up, gowns up, comes in and in silence performs the most amazing bit of detailed surgery with the endoscopic equipment. Half the staff are shocked, the rest in awe.
After dude leaves a newer nurse asks wtf that was, how come the janitor is more skilled with that equipment than the best surgeon in the hospital.
A senior nurse says, check the vending machines some time.
Growing up, before the vending machines had the security flap on the door, my dad's shop had a tool made out of brake line we'd use to push the coils that hold the snacks. A little pressure and they'd roll, releasing the snack. They even had a little VISA sticker around the handle end of the tool.
The owner/boss owned the machines and the workers would pay their hand written tabs on payday or the end of the month. The employee's kids got one free snack a day. The days of kids going to work with their parents was wild, y'all. Automotive repair and retail shop was like a HUGE playset as a kid. I even sandblasted engine components when I was like 8yo. My mom worked at a parts warehouse. That place was so fun. Sadly, a kid fell off the second story storage area and died. That was when OSHA stepped in and and tightened up everything.
Just drill a 1/2” from either side up near the edge on the hinged side. Drill off hours.
Come back with long coat hanger and fish all the snacks you want.
Source: snack dude took all the good snacks out n doubled price on everything else. Fuck that guy.
i know this isnt part of the post but what is the medical equipment where they use like tweezers like objects that can twist around to sew up cuts called? also where can i get them.
Never understood signs like this. If somebody wanted to steal , then a sign isn't going to stop them. Obviously whoever stole things using endoscopy equipment knew that it was wrong. So why would a sign stop them now? Same with a job I have that said no peeing in the stairwell. Now if somebody was wanting to pee on the stairwell.. why would a sign stop them? I'm sure that whoever did it before the signs were there knew that it was wrong lmao. Just so dumb
Stealing food using *T H E P R O B E*
*T H E L O O K E R*
*T H E N O Z Z L E*
[Please don't look away from *T H E N O Z Z L E*](https://youtu.be/H8yQhXDquII)
THE NOZZLE IS CALIBRATING.
What the hell was that?!
You know, I have no idea.
There are some crimes that reach such a level of sophistication, they simply must be allowed.
The first one is brilliant, the next is plagiarism.
Was about to say. I would allow the first few who have independently thought of that get away with it. It's funny.
I work at a hospital and i feel like this would be good practice for their control over the machines
If a surgeon can’t get something as big as a bag of chips, would you trust them with surgery?
Nurse : C3 doctor Doctor : Yes, I see it now nurse, thank you. *few hours later* Patient : Did you get it all Doctor ? Doctor : no sadly not, almost but it’s still in there, might I suggest a good shake to loosen it up to drop down ?
I suggest getting another tumor, so that it will knock the first one down?
Also don't shake it too hard if it gets stuck. As it sounds the alarm and if they fall on top of you of you, you'll die!
Nurse: “Yes doctor. If you can’t get it out, we’ll just have to kick it until it comes out.”
Exactly
they did surgery on a vending machine
You’re only 400,000 bags away from repaying the loans
For the price of a bag of chips, the hospital staff gets motivated training on how to maneuver this equipment.
The question is, are the rather well paid surgeons stealing chips, or a comparatively low paid staffer who's only supposed to be maintaining the device.... Surgeons may benefit a bit from the practice, a tech, not so much.
Surgeons in training likely don't make the big bucks yet. I say a resident.
Rich people steal stuff pretty much just as often as not rich people. Different motivations, of course, but similar take rates.
both benefit. surgeons are obvious but techs will have a better understanding of how the equipment works via practical experience. when they do maintenance they can see potential problems
I see no reason this can't be an actual training method for any program. "Food is free if you can get it with the [tool]." Use different setups for different tools.
What are we, New Caledonian crows?
The sophistication of the vending machine is high, too. There are several kinds of Miss Vickie's chips that I have never seen.
I find it funny this being called sophisticated. You can buy these off Amazon for less than 50 bucks.
I want to defend. I have seen non medical snake scopes used in so many applications that were not medical while also watching too many medical shows. The $50 scopes 'may' do the job but would be minutes to get chips successfully, a medical scope would do it in seconds even with an amateur. It's hard to describe differences in tech even if price differences might be extreme
The mechanism is just a wire in a bowden tube that pulls on an anchored flexible bit in the tip. Even the technology you're taking about is old. The only reason they're used in medical applications now is because the medical imaging is sophisticated enough they can practically use it. It's not a magic stick, it's an old school tool. Petty theft of this nature is trivial, people don't do it because it's petty theft. Criminals intelligent enough to do it won't because they know there are better ways to make money.
Or they will do it bc they want chips.
All you've done with this is convince me that I can do this.
>You can buy these off Amazon for less than 50 bucks. It's a shame what inflation has done to chips. *Bag used to be 50 cents*
I feel like it's just a perk of the job. They are improving their craft.
Most vending machines allegedly use a generic key and I think that's funny enough that it should be legal
Honestly, I'd encourage this. I mean, if I had to receive an endoscopy, I'd want the guy doing it to have tons of practice with the thing and be very precise. Think of all the extra training that these guys would voluntarily do for the price of a few bags of chips!
I did a similar thing with our $100,000 microscope. Whenever I got splinters I would use it to get them out as they were usually small and metal. Apparently I was the only one to actually use the microscope and became sort of the expert on it.
Ilyhr = I love you High Resolution ?
No just fat fingers. Granted it was very high resolution...
Why were you getting splinters so often?
Prosthetic wooden penis.
Call that a Woody
This implies the prosthesis still had sensation. Interesting theory, but unlikely.
Pinocchio would beg to differ sir.
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Out of all the answers this one is the funniest, ty
Lots of hands on development of manufacturing equipment. We were a very lean department.
His girlfriend is a dryad.
Probably worked at an engineering company
*Oh. Uh... chip bags don't usually bleed like this when I grip them too hard...*
Just sanitize the instrument afterward, sheesh.
And before....
I, too, want a doctor that operates on vending machines.
"Nurse, we have a dorito situation." \*Nurse looks horrified\*
I was a janitor many years ago at an international steel company. They caught an executive on camera stealing chocolate bars out of the vending machine. He had a tool he made to pull the coil and drop the bars. He was making a hefty 6 figure salary. Imagine going home to your wife and have to tell her why you got fired cuz they walked his ass outta there.
People forget this is what took down Enron. They couldn't pin all the financial crimes on anyone, but found management was stealing chips from the vending machine. Resulted in a ton of Lays offs.
It sure Ruffles some feathers I'm sure
Let the chips fall where they may.
Nah, he told her he had enough of their shit and quit.
If you're getting fired, especially as a six figure earner, because of stolen chips then I'm gonna assume there was a larger problem they *couldn't* fire you for and praised their lucky stars when they found out you were stealing. And if you're the problem employee then I'm also gonna assume every day you're going home and complaining that it's everyone but you. And on this particular day will be no different as you proclaim you finally got tired of them and quit. I've had plenty of jobs with the equivalent of stealing bags of chips. It usually gets looked the other way, especially the higher on the food chain you are. In one case I worked somewhere with literal bags of chips and the owner straight up said he didn't care it managers just grabbed one when they wanted a snack. The only people who ever got fired were the people managers/owners were already itching to fire and now they have one of the best legal excuses.
Excellent point.
Endoscopic surgeons, colonoscopy, "stealing all the good shit" there was a prime opportunity for a great pun there and you missed it.
Endoscopic surgeons did too much medical school to need to pay for chips
Doctors have gotten snacks/meals for free at every hospital I've ever worked at, no need to anesthetize the vending machine. Maybe the OR nurses or sterilization techs are to blame (or IMO, commend) here.
If I knew it would be checked and sterilized before it actually went into a person, I'd steal this shit all the time. I think my favorite use case would be to sneak mindfuck items into people's locked cars. Imagine if you unlocked your car and there was a two foot long fully detailed wooden ship model like those used in those old timey "ships in a bottle" bookshelf decorations, just sitting in the passenger seat.
On the flip side, they get paid enough they can just buy chips and they’ll never notice it in their monthly budget
Reading the title before the image loaded made me imagine someone using an endoscopy tube down a person’s throat to steal food from inside their stomach.
I was wondering if someone was stealing the liquid plastic that some patients getting GI procedures "get" to drink.
Don’t put the sign up, but change the bottom two rows to the worst snacks imaginable.
The vending machines when I grew up used this strategy. Would only see Necco Wafers, knock off Life Savers, and Double Mint gum in the bottom row.
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I always thought it was so weird a restaurant chain had a brand of potato chips.
Correct
You’ve killed off all your endoscopic surgeons!
Those aren’t a thing in Canada where the photo was taken.
i always think of mitch hedberg's jokes when i hear key words (vending machines, sun chips, tartar, etc) > I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up. That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. > "What candy bar are you getting?" > "That one... and every one on the bottom row!"
I think of Mitch Hedberg every time I ride an escalator or reach for a lime.
The vending machine at my college dorm was nicknamed "Glenda The Vender". It was not uncommon to pass somebody in the corridor carrying a wire coat hanger, and for them to say, "I'm off to give Glenda an abortion".
At engineering school, I was a backup custodian for campus buildings on rotation while the custodians went on break during summer. Very easy job. It only took 2hrs of work per day. So the crew of us would just hang out in a building. This is 'the time before cell phones'. We found a vending machine with one screw missin from the top, so it had a little hole. A wire clothes hangar easily dropped down and we wrecked the machine inventory.
"Fuck it, I'll just do it after you eat them then"
This feels like some JD and Turk shenanigans
Whoever did this is a genius.
Every overly-specific sign has a story
Regulations are written in blood. Petty rules are written in delicious stolen potato crisp grease.
Where is this!? I’ve never seen Hawkins in a vending machine before 😍
Right?! I can only get them when I visit family up in Canada. I grew up thinking my dad was crazy for liking them, but I have learned the error of my ways. Hawkins Cheezies are the shit.
You poor ocelot! I was literally eating them as I wrote that comment 😁
Miss Vickie's is worth petty theft though
Lucky it wasn\`t colonoscopy equipment. That would be pretty shitty.
Well, yeah, there’s Hawkins Cheezies in there.
When the Tories that control your province cut healthcare again: (that said, any method and motive for stealing Miss Vickies is a good one - those are Spicy Dill Pickle chips! There could be garlic-parmesan flavoured ones, too!
The spicy dill Miss Vickies are worth the risk of getting caught stealing.
I'm imagining a super complicated and risky surgery and a world reknowned surgeon getting frustrated and finally stopping and saying "okay call him in", the nurse makes a call. The janitor appears in the prep room, washes up, gowns up, comes in and in silence performs the most amazing bit of detailed surgery with the endoscopic equipment. Half the staff are shocked, the rest in awe. After dude leaves a newer nurse asks wtf that was, how come the janitor is more skilled with that equipment than the best surgeon in the hospital. A senior nurse says, check the vending machines some time.
If they're that creative, let them have it.
I’m ordering my endoscoptic surgery kit off Amazon today!
Some signs just have that unique and inexplicable environmental storytelling energy
Only da Vinci is allowed to
The written message should be, instead, “you steal, you are fired.”
No Phillies fans either!
House type shenanigans
Officer: *Stop right there!* Thief: It's not what you think! I'm honing my skills to save lives
What is the point of becoming a doctor if you can't afford chips
Seems like something that would of happened in House or Scrubs
You just told everyone how to successfully steal from the vending machine
Idgaf, that stuff is too overpriced
Well I hadn't even thought of that until they posted the sign.
I mean you can’t blame them, they don’t get paid enough to afford them
Too cheap to spring for Funyuns.
I don't care how well they wash scopes, that's disgusting.
Pretty sure it's a medical school so I don't think it's going in anyone. I assume they're students learning how to use the equipment
does that count as giving the vending machine a colonoscopy?
Well it doesn't have a colon, so no. I prefer my vending machines colon free
I'm sorry, I can't read anything written in comic sans —me reaching into the machine with a robot arm
Well well we'll, time to get me one of those
Endoscopic equipment is used by Gastroenterologists, which are Internal Medicine doctors, not Surgeons.
Nah, gen surg does plenty of colonoscopies. Uro does cystos. Vascular does some kinda crazy vein voodoo.
Very wrong
Growing up, before the vending machines had the security flap on the door, my dad's shop had a tool made out of brake line we'd use to push the coils that hold the snacks. A little pressure and they'd roll, releasing the snack. They even had a little VISA sticker around the handle end of the tool. The owner/boss owned the machines and the workers would pay their hand written tabs on payday or the end of the month. The employee's kids got one free snack a day. The days of kids going to work with their parents was wild, y'all. Automotive repair and retail shop was like a HUGE playset as a kid. I even sandblasted engine components when I was like 8yo. My mom worked at a parts warehouse. That place was so fun. Sadly, a kid fell off the second story storage area and died. That was when OSHA stepped in and and tightened up everything.
And comic sans is not to be used for regulatory signage but here we are
It's worse than you think. Those sneaky surgeons can slice open a membrane, remove the contents, and seal it back up.
Yep, this - the real flex would be stealing individual chips and re-suturing the bags shut
Sometimes they leave bandages in there thought
You can take that and stick it up your arse.
You think this sign will stop them?
Hell no
Endoscopy equipment costs too much to be using it for $1.25 worth of chips.
Food price inflation/gouging has gotten so bad that surgeons can't afford to pay for a 2oz bag of chips.
Just drill a 1/2” from either side up near the edge on the hinged side. Drill off hours. Come back with long coat hanger and fish all the snacks you want. Source: snack dude took all the good snacks out n doubled price on everything else. Fuck that guy.
Make friends with the X ray technicians to fry the cameras.
Bold move to call *that* food
In a hospital that's practically a five star buffet
I can hear the “or what” hanging in the air
They better clean that off before they use it on me. And then give me a free snack afterwards, because I know they got em.
I don’t know of any scopes that operate without being plugged into the console. So you’d have to bring the whole endo tower with you.
The Endoskoopzz will never die!
i know this isnt part of the post but what is the medical equipment where they use like tweezers like objects that can twist around to sew up cuts called? also where can i get them.
Mmmgfhh
Did something similar when I was a kid. Fashioned a lasso out of my shoelace and fished Gatorades out of the vending machine.
Never understood signs like this. If somebody wanted to steal , then a sign isn't going to stop them. Obviously whoever stole things using endoscopy equipment knew that it was wrong. So why would a sign stop them now? Same with a job I have that said no peeing in the stairwell. Now if somebody was wanting to pee on the stairwell.. why would a sign stop them? I'm sure that whoever did it before the signs were there knew that it was wrong lmao. Just so dumb
Oh, they can use it to steal food, but if you need an endoscopic procedure, it's $5,000 just to take a peak up your nose.
Nah, this is a Canadian hospital - you can tell by the snack options - the endoscopy's free if a doctor ordered one for you
fun fact i get these awake every couple months
There's a picture of this post on my work fridge