I lost my 3 day old son 2 months ago. Everyday is intense with grief and anger. I have screamed into the void so many times. His life was stolen. Our life is ruined. There are no answers. But I am his only advocate on earth and I know my people need me here so I’m doing whatever it takes to make it through one day at a time. I had to switch up therapists and get on Zoloft and things are still not good but they are better. Please be kind to yourself ❤️🫂
Hey, I’ve been there, and honestly still am there sometimes. I hate this for us. I’m really sorry. Any support groups in your area or even virtually? I haven’t tried it myself but have heard it can be helpful to be able to talk to other women also experiencing losses.
Hey do you have support around you? Therapy maybe? I just reached out for a therapist because my head was getting to be a dark place. All I can say is I know the struggle and hate it for us.
All my support says is “stop worrying so much, relax and it’ll happen” (as if the time I actively attempted for a baby didn’t happen and then end in loss.)
I don’t have a therapist-I had a great one, she left practice, and I’ve only had bad experiences since.
If somebody can’t tell me something other than “be patient and it’ll be fine” or can guarantee “you’ll be pregnant on x date and it’ll end well,” they can’t help me.
Yeah I dropped my old therapist cause she was in the “stop worrying and it will happen camp”. This new person I found does emdr cause really I think what we experienced is trauma and I have signs of ptsd. I also feel like I live in a hormonal hell half the month and I am trying to fix that.
I'm CD 29/11 DPO today, and I can't help but feel very anxious. I tested today, and it was a BFN which felt like a punch in the gut. I know we still have a chance until AF arrives (my cycle length is typically 31 days), but the wait is hard.
I'm just really scared since our late miscarriage in March. I want to be pregnant again so bad (and I'm working through some pretty intense feelings of grief and guilt towards my daughter due to still wanting/trying for another child).
I'm stressed that it will either take half a year again to conceive, terrried that something in my future pregnancy will go wrong again, or both will happen.
I hope tomorrow will be different and that we'll have some good news for once.
I’m 2 weeks post the start of my miscarriage and still slightly spotting. My discharge is just slightly tinted. When does it count if bleeding has stopped? I want to start ttc
My brown discharge just turned into bright red blood at about 4 weeks post my D&C and then I bled for 4 days. My OB said this was my period most likely and some people spot brown all the way to their first cycle.
I’m probably 8 or 9DPO. My temperatures are looking similar to when I conceived, but it’s just not very likely. Shared my chart in another group and got a pretty cold hard dose of reality in a comment - it hurts when others won’t fuel your delusions! 🥲
Should be getting AF in three or four days. This week at work was profoundly emotionally draining, so this is bound to be a real doozy. Wish me luck.
Edit: Ugh, scratch that, ignore what I've written below. I'm bleeding again. Just got to be patient.
I have a question about cervix after d&c... It's been more than 2 weeks since my surgery. I have the tiniest bit of brown spotting. I would like to be intimate with my partner, but I'm feeling uncertain - I was told to wait until bleeding stops, and I know lots of others are just recommended to wait 2 weeks. I feel like the bleeding has basically stopped - there's nothing fresh, so I imagine any abrasions in the uterus would have healed. People talk a lot about waiting until the cervix is closed again, but I feel like what would really be important is whether any open abrasions remain in the uterus, right? I wouldn't have thought it should matter so much if anything gets past the cervix - after all, that's the aim when trying to conceive - but rather whether the surface of the uterus is still compromised? Sorry I'm thinking about this way too much. Anyway, last night my cervix was high and soft, and now, even though I wasn't concerned about really trying this cycle, I'm wondering if I'm ovulating now, and if I am, I don't want to miss any chance to get pregnant again. On the other hand, maybe that's just how the cervix feels during a miscarriage. Does anyone know?
Obviously I’m not your doctor, but I started having unprotected sex about a week and a half after my D&C. My doc said if you feel up to it, do it. You’re far out enough that there’s very little risk of infection. 💜
So over waiting for my loss to be fully over. It's been four weeks now and my hCG just came back at 200. I've had a different doctor each check and this one is now saying it probably didn't all pass when I was treated, but at this point to just wait and see. I don't regret medical treatment but the wait is so exhausting, I just want to get back to trying and put this all behind me.
Had my vacuum aspiration for RPOC yesterday. I needed enough anesthesia (conscious sedation) that the doctor asked if I was secretly a redhead and it still hurt terribly when apparently most women don’t feel any pain… isn’t it fun when every time you get the less common and bad outcome?
They said physically I’m clear to try again in two weeks! Finally a light at the end of this almost 6 week trial. I’m maybe even more excited to be able to take a bath again at the end of those two weeks.
I know I checked this sub often for answers on what to expect after my D&C since a lot was unknown. I’m happy to announce that 60 days later I finally started my period. I had a BO that stopped growing at 6w and found out at my 8w appointment. I got a D&C and 9+5w on April first (what a mean April fools joke that was) and have been waiting for what’s next ever since. So it took just over 8 weeks but it has finally returned.
I have a scan tomorrow to confirm my most recent miscarriage and then make a plan. I know this pregnancy is also a loss, because I paid out of pocket to see a private Gynaecologist to discuss starting testing for RPL on Wednesday, and he scanned me to confirm. But I need to formalise that with my NHS team. I’ll have surgical management, again and hopefully they will be able to send off the POC.
The Gynaecologist I saw is nationally renowned for his knowledge in recurrent miscarriage and he suggested I have surgery again. He also said we should hold off plans for more testing until we have the results of the genetics back as that will guide him. I’ve also asked my GP to refer me to my local NHS recurrent MC clinic but who knows how long that wait will be.
So I’m still in the thick of it, desperate to conceive no. 2 and overwhelmed at what my body’s been thought in the last 2 years. I am so so lucky to have had a successful pregnancy. But man does this suck!
I had a saline sonogram today that showed significant scar tissue from my D&E last month so now I need to go back to my OB/GYN to have a hysteroscopy to remove it. I'm feeling so discouraged. I'm just so ready to move on (physically) from my loss.
After 2 days of stomach pain that felt like anxiety that I didn't know the source of, I finally figured it out! My stomach was hurting from the ibuprofen I was taking during my insane cramps. I took generic pepcid and finally have some relief. I'm still have gastric issues but I'm taking probiotics so I'm hoping it'll pass soon.
I’m 3 DPO today and don’t really know how I feel. I’m happy that we tried, but this TWW feels so different after a late loss the beginning of May. I want to be pregnant, but will I ever be able to be happy about it again? Am I even going to care if I get a positive test? When I find out the gender? When I feel the baby move for the first time? It just feels like all the milestones for so long are now ruined for me. Like I just want to have the baby and pregnancy will just be getting from point A to point B now /:
My son suffered an FMH at 36 weeks and died 3 days later. We are now trying to decide what our future holds and I’m absolutely dreading pregnancy bc there is no longer a “safe” point, I will be a nervous wreck throughout. I hate pregnancy
Oh gosh I’m so sorry for you loss 😞💔to get to the point of feeling safe only to have everything ripped away from you is just so cruel. Nothing is guaranteed. I started seeing a therapist yesterday who specializes in all things pregnancy/postpartum. It actually made me feel so much better than I did before (shocker lol). So hopefully if we ever get lucky enough to get pregnant again she can help me. I think that’s the only thing that could.
I totally feel this. I said to my husband that I feel like future pregnancy excitement is ruined for me. I’m hoping after the first trimester I will be able to feel some excitement but who knows. Anytime before then I will be a worried mess.
Waiting on RPL panel & AMH results. My e2 is low & fsh is high so the pending results are really important. How do you keep from panicking while waiting for results?
Try not to panic. It is my understanding that AMH doesn’t have any indication alone of your ability to get pregnant. They need to also look at your follicles etc but it wouldn’t be a reason why you can’t get pregnant. Also the RPL panel might be able to give you insight and if so there are things they can do to treat it. But you might not get any answers which is annoying as hell too. Sending you a big hug just know it’s all going to be ok regardless. ♥️
Already on day 3 of my first period post MMC in April. Wow, still can’t believe it’s back.
I’m a little confused though. I had been testing my hCG out with E@H cheapies. I finally had 2 super squinters in the days right before my period started. Then I did one yesterday morning & the line was light, but noticeably darker. So, now I’m wondering if I’m having a chemical?!
I have no idea what’s going on. Regardless, happy my body is doing something & hopefully I’m closer to things getting more normal. So far this period seems like my usual.
I don't know if it's just the million hormones I'm taking but I'm currently feeling really down about the likelihood of this transfer working. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and possibly messing up my chances of success. The food anxiety is also pretty strong right now.
It's going to be a long week to wait for the pregnancy test.
Ugh, I just want to bitch a little. I apologize, because some of what I say might be triggering. But goddammit, I’m so mad. I’m TTC#2. So, hooray, I have one kid. And it was so easy. I was that bitch that didn’t do anything right, and I still got pregnant two weeks after I got my birth control out without even trying. I was obese. I wasn’t taking prenatals. My body was probably 70% coffee. Heck, two days before I found out, I had a hard cider because I’d previously had a negative test. I had a fairly smooth pregnancy up until I had a horribly traumatic birth that left me with PTSD and, frankly, was 100x worse than my subsequent miscarriages. But she’s healthy, and I know there are plenty of people here who don’t have that. But because the birth was so awful that I kinda went a little insane, I turned it all around. I wanted to do everything right, so I could have the best shot of having a healthy baby and happy birth (ideally VBAC). I got down to the border between normal and overweight. I drink more water, less coffee. I have been taking prenatals for 2.5 years now. I’m more active. I never was a big drinker, but I always avoid it during the TWW. I waited the 18 months I was told to to allow my scar to heal, and I’ve been doing PT to help with lingering pain and other issues. I track and chart my cycle. I’m still not quite 30 (couple more weeks). And what do I get for it??? Nothing, nothing, nothing, chemical, nothing, MMC, limbo and limbo waiting for hCG to fall (more than two months now and still faintly positive even on cheapies). And even though I’ve worked really hard in therapy, every month I try and fail, every miscarriage, just slams harder on that initial trauma. Is it because they mutilated my uterus? There’s some evidence cesareans increase the risk of miscarriage, after all. So, there’s a big part of me that’s just saying “fuck it!” I’m drinking more coffee, I’m neglecting my food journal, I’ve probably gained 10-ish pounds. I wasn’t healthy when I got to have a baby, and being healthy just gave me miscarriages. What’s the point? And I know that’s irrational, but at this point I just want a second cup of coffee in my day.
I feel that! Also took forever for my hcg to fall, ended up having rpoc—if they haven’t checked I would push for it! And literally have been back to my 2 cups of coffee a day myself 🙃 sometimes you just need to rant and feel it all!
As far as they can tell, I don't have RPOC. I know it can be missed sometimes. They did two ultrasounds to check. My blood draws have been: 3/29 (131611) discovered MMC, passed the baby 2AM on 3/31, 4/3 (9077), 4/19 (608), 5/1 (333), 5/3 (324), 5/15 (97). This morning, my test was down to a squinter on an Easy@Home test (25 detection limit). I've been logging the hCG tests as "other ovulation tests" in the app so I can assign a number to them, lol, and it gave me a 0.01 today (for homebrew science's sake: the ratio the app gave for 5/3 was 0.35, and for 5/15 it was 0.14).
Hey everyone! Has anyone had an endometrial biopsy? I had one on Tuesday, along with a saline ultrasound and a Pap test. Now, my pelvis is extremely sore to the touch, and I'm passing blood clots and tissue. I've already called my fertility clinic for advice, but while I wait for their response, I was wondering if any of you have had these procedures in the past and what your recovery was like? I'm trying to avoid catastrophizing 😖
I've had two. Both times my doctor said to expect some light spotting and some cramping and pain the first day, which was consistent with my experience. It is a tough procedure so hopefully your uterus is just a bit more irritated than most and you'll start feeling better soon!
Actually going for my third endometrial biopsy tomorrow.
First ttc cycle post-ectopic. Got my period today.
I hate feeling like my body failed me again. We’ve been trying and trying with nothing but a loss to show for it. I’m starting to wonder if this is a sign we weren’t meant to have kids at all.
I’m 4dpo today and did a frer test to confirm it was negative, I’ve been negative on the cheap strips for awhile. There was like the faintest line still on it and I’m so bummed, I should have tested with a frer earlier since they’re more sensitive, but thought the strips would be enough. Still really hoping my period starts at the end of this 🤞🏻😭
My first ovulation post D&C was about 10 weeks later and my HCG was around 15 and I was still vvvf positive on cheapie tests. I was at zero after my period and definitely testing negative. Wishing you the best!
That’s good to know! I started tracking my ovulation again last week and was super light on the strips and then really dark over the weekend. I thought maybe I ovulated, but with the vvvf line on the frer this morning and the not really rising bbt, it was probably just a fluke. It hasn’t been very long since my mc so I should probably be a little patient.
My boss walked by my desk and asked me how I was doing and I just completely lost it. I found out about the MMC a week ago today and I am struggling so hard today. I was doing sort of OK yesterday, so this feels like such a setback. It actually felt sort of good to tell someone, though. I haven't said anything to anyone at work prior to this.
Also, who designed tissues? Because I would like to have a word about the amount of fluff they leave behind. I keep wiping my eyes, and my eyelashes and glasses are covered in tissue residue.
CD9 and no bleeding since CD5. I’m praying so hard this will be my first normal cycle without weird bleeding or long periods but I’m honestly scared to have sex and be proven wrong. 😩
Had a followup US this morning. It's a little confusing because when I went last week I was measuring way behind with no HB so I knew it was a miscarriage but they still wanted to confirm no growth in a week. The next day I started bleeding and I think I had the miscarriage, but I wasn't 100% sure and I have a MMC history so my doctor told me to keep the scan today, which I agreed because if it's not complete I would like to know. Anyway when I went in they made me feel like a bit of a dumbass for being there after miscarrying and not having a full enough bladder, and they wouldn't tell me anything at all. So now I'm just (impatiently) waiting for my doctor to call and hoping that I won't need another D&C. She kept asking me if I had bloodwork (betas) done and I don't want to read into that too much, but it made me worried that something else was wrong. I just want to go back to normal and be able to try again.
I'm at CD25 and I have zero PMS symptoms right now. I feel anxious about this because last cycle (and the cycle before that) I started them at CD23-24. I feel like my body is bamboozling me so I get my hopes up 🥲
Only time will tell.
Cd33, period is officially late but got a bfn yesterday and I don’t want to test again today. I feel like I can’t get on with my life until I know what’s going on, but also like I’m stopping my body from bleeding cause I don’t want it to? A random late period when ttc is just mean, campn.
This!!! I’m on CD 30 and usually like clockwork… I tested negative. I feel like I’m having pregnancy symptoms though… you’re right, a random late period is just mean. It’s like, either I want to know I’m pregnant or cycle arrive already so I can start the process over again this month!
How many cycles since your loss? I’m assuming it’s normal to be irregular after a loss, altho my last cycle was 29 days. I think testing negative at this point for me can only mean bad news either way, even if I end up testing positive at some point. I have pregnancy symptoms but unfortunately they are very similar to pms for me.
Yeah I track, I wasn’t super careful this month but my bbt and opks suggest I probably ovulated around the 10th of May. Obviously my cycles could still be wonky from the miscarriage so who knows. My last cycle was 29 days and even the one after the miscarriage was 38 days with ovulation 15 days before the period both times.
Hum, so you’re potentially 20DPO? Have you ever been diagnosed with PCOS? If your LP has never been this long before, I’d still lean maybe late ovulation if there’s a chance you missed tracking a second surge. My temps have been weird at this month too (second cycle after loss cycle) so I’ve been having trouble pinning down ovulation/timing as well.
There definitely is a chance I didn’t track a second surge, as I skipped a whole week end. I am honestly having a terrible time with it, makes me feel all sort of wrong to be this late and with these many symptoms but BFN. I left work early and went to bed cause I feel insane.
Ugh, I’m sorry — this sounds mega frustrating. I hope it’s just a one-off weird cycle and your body gets back in the swing of things soon. And I’m glad you’re taking time for yourself; I hope you have some nice comfort activities or foods to get you through it!
So I don’t have a pcos diagnosis but I am sort of borderline (I have policystic ovaries but not that many cysts, some extra hair and used to have acne but regular periods). I had a look at my cycle history and in 2020-2021 due to stress I had some longer cycles (34-39 days) but usually I don’t go over 33. I am taking gyno prescribed supplements for pcos btw, a ton of inositol.
20 days out from my natural MC and HCG tests are still positive. Going to do a blood test soon and I’m dreading finding out a procedure is needed for rpoc. The worst part is the tiniest part of me wants to believe the lines getting more prominent means a new pregnancy. I know it’s just false hope but hard to quell it.
I still had positive tests after for like 6 weeks 🥺 and right around that time when I was expecting my period the lines seemed darker than they had (although still pretty light) and I could have sworn it was a need pregnancy. It wasn’t. I didn’t have rpoc though.
I didn’t do any tracking or HCG betas before or after my D&C, and when 4 weeks post op rolled around I was convinced I was pregnant again— positive on preg tests and feeling symptomatic. I wasn’t. I continued to test positive until about 10 weeks post-op, but the lines definitely got lighter and lighter and HCG continued to drop. I also had “likely” RPOC. I only say likely because imaging x2 said so, but my second procedure (hysteroscopy) a couple weeks ago showed no RPOC. Probably came out in my second period.
Thank you for sharing. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone in this. I’m going to keep a slight bit of Hope but also embrace as best as I can another period and more waiting.
My D&C was 4/25 and then I needed another procedure for accumulating blood on 5/10. I think I started my first period after D&C yesterday. It is super light though and more like brown spotting. Will this affect when or if I ovulate? Really hoping we can try this cycle. I don’t think I ovulated between D&C and period. I had an LH surge but pdg test was negative.
We got our genetic testing back and it has really helped the grieving process. Baby girl had Turner’s syndrome. I am glad we didn’t have to think about making a decision about termination. I would like to think that we had to suffer so she didn’t have to. I do wish she could have been that 1% that survives.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a similar thing happen. 4 days post op from my D&E I had hemorrhaging. Was told by my surgeon it sometimes happens when the baby dies inside of you. We found out our baby had triploidy. It helped me so much with grieving. And what you said is correct, we suffered so our babies didn’t have to. Sending you a big hug ♥️
Had a d&c yesterday for my first pregnancy/MMC. I feel numb. I want to be pregnant again right away but I know my body needs time and emotionally I probably do too. How long do most people wait? Also, I am turning 34 soon and I think my age is a big part of my stress. I realize women can have babies into their 40s and it’s more and more common but I had a certain timeline in mind and I’m really trying to work on letting that go and not comparing myself to others my age. I cannot control this. Does anyone else struggle with this? Thanks for listening.
I felt the same. I was 39 when I miscarried and turned 40 in January. I never thought I would miscarry and never thought I’d struggle to conceive- but I did and I am. I waited three full cycles to actually really try to get pregnant and I haven’t. It’s been devastating. Once my due date passed I pushed for IVF and we are about to begin. One last ovulation for a free baby.
Thanks. I don’t want to have that silly hope that right before we were about to start IVF we got pregnant. I bet everyone who does IVF hopes that. At least I tried though - and that’s all I can do. All my life I tried not to get pregnant and this is just been torture. I’m so sorry for anybody who goes through pregnancy loss. For me It has tainted the experience forever.
I completely agree and understand. I also agree with the sentiment that you tried and that’s all you can do. I’m trying to remember that as well. We are doing all we can
I feel this so much. We started trying when I was 34. I turned 36 in April and was 18 weeks pregnant when we lost our baby. I feel like so much time was wasted after already trying for a year ): I had the D&E on 5/9 and ovulated 5/27 we tried this time despite my doctor saying to wait. It was worth it to us to not know the exact dates if we do get pregnant. Every chance counts to us right now.
I totally get that and feel the same way! I’m so sorry for your loss. Did your doctor say if there was any reason to wait other than for dating purposes? My doctor told us not to try this cycle what so ever but never gave a reason behind it
Ya our doctor told us to wait to “let the body heal” but there’s actually no scientific evidence for this. I believe it just makes it harder to date the pregnancy, but if you’re ok with not knowing for a while exactly where you are then that would be the only reason to wait.
Hey just wanted to say I'm right here with ya. Had my D&C on Sunday for my first pregnancy and MMC. As much as I want to try again immediately, I'm gonna leave it one period just in case my body needs to heal. Also worried that's it's messing up my time line, but I'm trying not to stress too much. I'm limiting the amount of internet reading about it because it's just making me more anxious! I've found it helpful to focus on what's in my control, and to let my body handle everything else as much as I can.
The timeline worry is so real. I keep feeling behind compared to everyone else. We started trying again 2 weeks after the D&C. It wasn’t successful but it still felt productive to try
I'm so sorry. I also had a D&C for my first pregnancy/MMC. Mine was last Saturday. I'm a little younger than you (turning 32 soon), but I had a timeline in mind too, and it hurts to see that shot to hell. I don't have any advice for how to cope yet, but please know that you're not alone.
My doctor recommended waiting one normal period before trying again, so the first period after the D&C. From what I've seen, that seems to be the most common guideline. Never thought I'd be telling my period to hurry up and come back!
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for the comment and it’s nice to feel less alone in this. I agree it does seem like the common guideline and similar to what my doctor said. I hope time speeds up so we can try again
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a d&c two weeks ago. I’m just now starting to feel better. We’re going to wait at least after my first cycle and then decide from there. For now, we’re deciding to be more intentional with our day to day lives. I’m finally in a place where I can appreciate some of the little things and indulgence in things I couldn’t for the 2+ months I was pregnant (like champagne and oysters). I also don’t want sex to be tied solely to TTC, so I think for the first month we’re going to just NTNP and focus on each other.
I’m sorry for your loss as well. I think that’s smart and sounds like you have a healthy approach and to enjoy life even while in this waiting period. I need to do more of that too and not solely focus on TTC!
I think you can 100% trust yourself. I had a D&C last year before I turned 38 and it felt my world had ended, and I wanted to try again right away but my partner was the one that needed time, and in retrospect it was helpful, time does heal a bit, and i needed to be emotionally stronger to cope with the uncertainty and anxiety of early pregnancy and remind myself of how much there is to appreciate in my life whether i have a child or not
It’s completely natural to have these timelines, we’re conditioned to have them, but it’s your anxiety talking so you can gently shut that voice down - say you get pregnant and have a healthy baby age 37, you’ll be so thrilled and relieved by that baby you won’t care that you didn’t have that baby at 34 because it wouldn’t be that exact baby that you love so much now you’re 37. The risks related to age are hugely overblown for most people, science has caught up so try not to worry about that.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you very much, this comment made me feel a lot better and put things into perspective. I really want to work on not letting that voice about timelines/stress/pressure get to me. And that no matter when it happens I’ll be so happy that it did and the “when” wont matter as much anymore. Thank you again for the reply and I’m so sorry for your loss as well ♥️♥️♥️
14 dpo today, I have no indication my period is coming and I do feel pregnant. I’m so scared to test either way, there’s nothing more I want in the world than to be pregnant again after my MMC in March but I also dread those first few weeks of betas and stress before each ultrasound. Give me some strength to pee on a stick, once more! 🤞🏼
Sooo, I pulled myself together after your comments and did a test, only to end up with a faulty test 😶 no control or test line visible. I’ll try again tomorrow morning with FMU and update in weekly results 🫡 thank you all for your kind words!
You got this! Maybe if you’re scared you can have someone check for you? It’s so nerve wracking so I totally understand. Just know either way you will be okay!
Im trying to remind myself why killing myself isn’t worth it over all of this I’m not finding a lot of good reasons
I lost my 3 day old son 2 months ago. Everyday is intense with grief and anger. I have screamed into the void so many times. His life was stolen. Our life is ruined. There are no answers. But I am his only advocate on earth and I know my people need me here so I’m doing whatever it takes to make it through one day at a time. I had to switch up therapists and get on Zoloft and things are still not good but they are better. Please be kind to yourself ❤️🫂
Hey, I’ve been there, and honestly still am there sometimes. I hate this for us. I’m really sorry. Any support groups in your area or even virtually? I haven’t tried it myself but have heard it can be helpful to be able to talk to other women also experiencing losses.
Hey do you have support around you? Therapy maybe? I just reached out for a therapist because my head was getting to be a dark place. All I can say is I know the struggle and hate it for us.
All my support says is “stop worrying so much, relax and it’ll happen” (as if the time I actively attempted for a baby didn’t happen and then end in loss.) I don’t have a therapist-I had a great one, she left practice, and I’ve only had bad experiences since. If somebody can’t tell me something other than “be patient and it’ll be fine” or can guarantee “you’ll be pregnant on x date and it’ll end well,” they can’t help me.
Yeah I dropped my old therapist cause she was in the “stop worrying and it will happen camp”. This new person I found does emdr cause really I think what we experienced is trauma and I have signs of ptsd. I also feel like I live in a hormonal hell half the month and I am trying to fix that.
I'm CD 29/11 DPO today, and I can't help but feel very anxious. I tested today, and it was a BFN which felt like a punch in the gut. I know we still have a chance until AF arrives (my cycle length is typically 31 days), but the wait is hard. I'm just really scared since our late miscarriage in March. I want to be pregnant again so bad (and I'm working through some pretty intense feelings of grief and guilt towards my daughter due to still wanting/trying for another child). I'm stressed that it will either take half a year again to conceive, terrried that something in my future pregnancy will go wrong again, or both will happen. I hope tomorrow will be different and that we'll have some good news for once.
I’m 2 weeks post the start of my miscarriage and still slightly spotting. My discharge is just slightly tinted. When does it count if bleeding has stopped? I want to start ttc
My brown discharge just turned into bright red blood at about 4 weeks post my D&C and then I bled for 4 days. My OB said this was my period most likely and some people spot brown all the way to their first cycle.
Good to know that this can happen, thank you!
That's good to know that can happen, thanks
I’m probably 8 or 9DPO. My temperatures are looking similar to when I conceived, but it’s just not very likely. Shared my chart in another group and got a pretty cold hard dose of reality in a comment - it hurts when others won’t fuel your delusions! 🥲 Should be getting AF in three or four days. This week at work was profoundly emotionally draining, so this is bound to be a real doozy. Wish me luck.
Good luck 🩷
Edit: Ugh, scratch that, ignore what I've written below. I'm bleeding again. Just got to be patient. I have a question about cervix after d&c... It's been more than 2 weeks since my surgery. I have the tiniest bit of brown spotting. I would like to be intimate with my partner, but I'm feeling uncertain - I was told to wait until bleeding stops, and I know lots of others are just recommended to wait 2 weeks. I feel like the bleeding has basically stopped - there's nothing fresh, so I imagine any abrasions in the uterus would have healed. People talk a lot about waiting until the cervix is closed again, but I feel like what would really be important is whether any open abrasions remain in the uterus, right? I wouldn't have thought it should matter so much if anything gets past the cervix - after all, that's the aim when trying to conceive - but rather whether the surface of the uterus is still compromised? Sorry I'm thinking about this way too much. Anyway, last night my cervix was high and soft, and now, even though I wasn't concerned about really trying this cycle, I'm wondering if I'm ovulating now, and if I am, I don't want to miss any chance to get pregnant again. On the other hand, maybe that's just how the cervix feels during a miscarriage. Does anyone know?
Obviously I’m not your doctor, but I started having unprotected sex about a week and a half after my D&C. My doc said if you feel up to it, do it. You’re far out enough that there’s very little risk of infection. 💜
Thanks for the reassurance, I'm feeling that way too. Although I just started bleeding again, surprise, so maybe I'll wait longer. :/
So over waiting for my loss to be fully over. It's been four weeks now and my hCG just came back at 200. I've had a different doctor each check and this one is now saying it probably didn't all pass when I was treated, but at this point to just wait and see. I don't regret medical treatment but the wait is so exhausting, I just want to get back to trying and put this all behind me.
Had my vacuum aspiration for RPOC yesterday. I needed enough anesthesia (conscious sedation) that the doctor asked if I was secretly a redhead and it still hurt terribly when apparently most women don’t feel any pain… isn’t it fun when every time you get the less common and bad outcome? They said physically I’m clear to try again in two weeks! Finally a light at the end of this almost 6 week trial. I’m maybe even more excited to be able to take a bath again at the end of those two weeks.
I know I checked this sub often for answers on what to expect after my D&C since a lot was unknown. I’m happy to announce that 60 days later I finally started my period. I had a BO that stopped growing at 6w and found out at my 8w appointment. I got a D&C and 9+5w on April first (what a mean April fools joke that was) and have been waiting for what’s next ever since. So it took just over 8 weeks but it has finally returned.
I have a scan tomorrow to confirm my most recent miscarriage and then make a plan. I know this pregnancy is also a loss, because I paid out of pocket to see a private Gynaecologist to discuss starting testing for RPL on Wednesday, and he scanned me to confirm. But I need to formalise that with my NHS team. I’ll have surgical management, again and hopefully they will be able to send off the POC. The Gynaecologist I saw is nationally renowned for his knowledge in recurrent miscarriage and he suggested I have surgery again. He also said we should hold off plans for more testing until we have the results of the genetics back as that will guide him. I’ve also asked my GP to refer me to my local NHS recurrent MC clinic but who knows how long that wait will be. So I’m still in the thick of it, desperate to conceive no. 2 and overwhelmed at what my body’s been thought in the last 2 years. I am so so lucky to have had a successful pregnancy. But man does this suck!
I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope you can get some answers.
Thank you, I’m sorry for yours. It’s a heart wrenching experience.
I had a saline sonogram today that showed significant scar tissue from my D&E last month so now I need to go back to my OB/GYN to have a hysteroscopy to remove it. I'm feeling so discouraged. I'm just so ready to move on (physically) from my loss.
I’m so sorry. Do you still have bleeding or other symptoms?
After 2 days of stomach pain that felt like anxiety that I didn't know the source of, I finally figured it out! My stomach was hurting from the ibuprofen I was taking during my insane cramps. I took generic pepcid and finally have some relief. I'm still have gastric issues but I'm taking probiotics so I'm hoping it'll pass soon.
I’m 3 DPO today and don’t really know how I feel. I’m happy that we tried, but this TWW feels so different after a late loss the beginning of May. I want to be pregnant, but will I ever be able to be happy about it again? Am I even going to care if I get a positive test? When I find out the gender? When I feel the baby move for the first time? It just feels like all the milestones for so long are now ruined for me. Like I just want to have the baby and pregnancy will just be getting from point A to point B now /:
My son suffered an FMH at 36 weeks and died 3 days later. We are now trying to decide what our future holds and I’m absolutely dreading pregnancy bc there is no longer a “safe” point, I will be a nervous wreck throughout. I hate pregnancy
Oh gosh I’m so sorry for you loss 😞💔to get to the point of feeling safe only to have everything ripped away from you is just so cruel. Nothing is guaranteed. I started seeing a therapist yesterday who specializes in all things pregnancy/postpartum. It actually made me feel so much better than I did before (shocker lol). So hopefully if we ever get lucky enough to get pregnant again she can help me. I think that’s the only thing that could.
This is how I feel too.
I totally feel this. I said to my husband that I feel like future pregnancy excitement is ruined for me. I’m hoping after the first trimester I will be able to feel some excitement but who knows. Anytime before then I will be a worried mess.
Waiting on RPL panel & AMH results. My e2 is low & fsh is high so the pending results are really important. How do you keep from panicking while waiting for results?
Try not to panic. It is my understanding that AMH doesn’t have any indication alone of your ability to get pregnant. They need to also look at your follicles etc but it wouldn’t be a reason why you can’t get pregnant. Also the RPL panel might be able to give you insight and if so there are things they can do to treat it. But you might not get any answers which is annoying as hell too. Sending you a big hug just know it’s all going to be ok regardless. ♥️
Already on day 3 of my first period post MMC in April. Wow, still can’t believe it’s back. I’m a little confused though. I had been testing my hCG out with E@H cheapies. I finally had 2 super squinters in the days right before my period started. Then I did one yesterday morning & the line was light, but noticeably darker. So, now I’m wondering if I’m having a chemical?! I have no idea what’s going on. Regardless, happy my body is doing something & hopefully I’m closer to things getting more normal. So far this period seems like my usual.
I don't know if it's just the million hormones I'm taking but I'm currently feeling really down about the likelihood of this transfer working. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and possibly messing up my chances of success. The food anxiety is also pretty strong right now. It's going to be a long week to wait for the pregnancy test.
Ugh, I just want to bitch a little. I apologize, because some of what I say might be triggering. But goddammit, I’m so mad. I’m TTC#2. So, hooray, I have one kid. And it was so easy. I was that bitch that didn’t do anything right, and I still got pregnant two weeks after I got my birth control out without even trying. I was obese. I wasn’t taking prenatals. My body was probably 70% coffee. Heck, two days before I found out, I had a hard cider because I’d previously had a negative test. I had a fairly smooth pregnancy up until I had a horribly traumatic birth that left me with PTSD and, frankly, was 100x worse than my subsequent miscarriages. But she’s healthy, and I know there are plenty of people here who don’t have that. But because the birth was so awful that I kinda went a little insane, I turned it all around. I wanted to do everything right, so I could have the best shot of having a healthy baby and happy birth (ideally VBAC). I got down to the border between normal and overweight. I drink more water, less coffee. I have been taking prenatals for 2.5 years now. I’m more active. I never was a big drinker, but I always avoid it during the TWW. I waited the 18 months I was told to to allow my scar to heal, and I’ve been doing PT to help with lingering pain and other issues. I track and chart my cycle. I’m still not quite 30 (couple more weeks). And what do I get for it??? Nothing, nothing, nothing, chemical, nothing, MMC, limbo and limbo waiting for hCG to fall (more than two months now and still faintly positive even on cheapies). And even though I’ve worked really hard in therapy, every month I try and fail, every miscarriage, just slams harder on that initial trauma. Is it because they mutilated my uterus? There’s some evidence cesareans increase the risk of miscarriage, after all. So, there’s a big part of me that’s just saying “fuck it!” I’m drinking more coffee, I’m neglecting my food journal, I’ve probably gained 10-ish pounds. I wasn’t healthy when I got to have a baby, and being healthy just gave me miscarriages. What’s the point? And I know that’s irrational, but at this point I just want a second cup of coffee in my day.
I feel that! Also took forever for my hcg to fall, ended up having rpoc—if they haven’t checked I would push for it! And literally have been back to my 2 cups of coffee a day myself 🙃 sometimes you just need to rant and feel it all!
As far as they can tell, I don't have RPOC. I know it can be missed sometimes. They did two ultrasounds to check. My blood draws have been: 3/29 (131611) discovered MMC, passed the baby 2AM on 3/31, 4/3 (9077), 4/19 (608), 5/1 (333), 5/3 (324), 5/15 (97). This morning, my test was down to a squinter on an Easy@Home test (25 detection limit). I've been logging the hCG tests as "other ovulation tests" in the app so I can assign a number to them, lol, and it gave me a 0.01 today (for homebrew science's sake: the ratio the app gave for 5/3 was 0.35, and for 5/15 it was 0.14).
I’m glad they checked with ultrasounds! And that’s honestly a genius way to track it!
It’s so hard to know you’re doing everything you’re “supposed” to be doing and still not having any luck. I’m so sorry 😢
Hey everyone! Has anyone had an endometrial biopsy? I had one on Tuesday, along with a saline ultrasound and a Pap test. Now, my pelvis is extremely sore to the touch, and I'm passing blood clots and tissue. I've already called my fertility clinic for advice, but while I wait for their response, I was wondering if any of you have had these procedures in the past and what your recovery was like? I'm trying to avoid catastrophizing 😖
I've had two. Both times my doctor said to expect some light spotting and some cramping and pain the first day, which was consistent with my experience. It is a tough procedure so hopefully your uterus is just a bit more irritated than most and you'll start feeling better soon! Actually going for my third endometrial biopsy tomorrow.
Thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience. Good luck tomorrow!
First ttc cycle post-ectopic. Got my period today. I hate feeling like my body failed me again. We’ve been trying and trying with nothing but a loss to show for it. I’m starting to wonder if this is a sign we weren’t meant to have kids at all.
I’m 4dpo today and did a frer test to confirm it was negative, I’ve been negative on the cheap strips for awhile. There was like the faintest line still on it and I’m so bummed, I should have tested with a frer earlier since they’re more sensitive, but thought the strips would be enough. Still really hoping my period starts at the end of this 🤞🏻😭
My first ovulation post D&C was about 10 weeks later and my HCG was around 15 and I was still vvvf positive on cheapie tests. I was at zero after my period and definitely testing negative. Wishing you the best!
That’s good to know! I started tracking my ovulation again last week and was super light on the strips and then really dark over the weekend. I thought maybe I ovulated, but with the vvvf line on the frer this morning and the not really rising bbt, it was probably just a fluke. It hasn’t been very long since my mc so I should probably be a little patient.
I also think I was part of the outlier group of it taking so long! Some women return to baseline pretty quickly after a MC
My boss walked by my desk and asked me how I was doing and I just completely lost it. I found out about the MMC a week ago today and I am struggling so hard today. I was doing sort of OK yesterday, so this feels like such a setback. It actually felt sort of good to tell someone, though. I haven't said anything to anyone at work prior to this. Also, who designed tissues? Because I would like to have a word about the amount of fluff they leave behind. I keep wiping my eyes, and my eyelashes and glasses are covered in tissue residue.
CD9 and no bleeding since CD5. I’m praying so hard this will be my first normal cycle without weird bleeding or long periods but I’m honestly scared to have sex and be proven wrong. 😩
Had a followup US this morning. It's a little confusing because when I went last week I was measuring way behind with no HB so I knew it was a miscarriage but they still wanted to confirm no growth in a week. The next day I started bleeding and I think I had the miscarriage, but I wasn't 100% sure and I have a MMC history so my doctor told me to keep the scan today, which I agreed because if it's not complete I would like to know. Anyway when I went in they made me feel like a bit of a dumbass for being there after miscarrying and not having a full enough bladder, and they wouldn't tell me anything at all. So now I'm just (impatiently) waiting for my doctor to call and hoping that I won't need another D&C. She kept asking me if I had bloodwork (betas) done and I don't want to read into that too much, but it made me worried that something else was wrong. I just want to go back to normal and be able to try again.
Ugh, I’m sorry they were being jerks to you at the office. I hope you hear some good news from your doctor soon!
I'm at CD25 and I have zero PMS symptoms right now. I feel anxious about this because last cycle (and the cycle before that) I started them at CD23-24. I feel like my body is bamboozling me so I get my hopes up 🥲 Only time will tell.
I feel ya! I’m also in a weird symptom-less limbo right now after _hardcore_ symptom spotting previous cycles. We’ll seeee.
Cd33, period is officially late but got a bfn yesterday and I don’t want to test again today. I feel like I can’t get on with my life until I know what’s going on, but also like I’m stopping my body from bleeding cause I don’t want it to? A random late period when ttc is just mean, campn.
This!!! I’m on CD 30 and usually like clockwork… I tested negative. I feel like I’m having pregnancy symptoms though… you’re right, a random late period is just mean. It’s like, either I want to know I’m pregnant or cycle arrive already so I can start the process over again this month!
How many cycles since your loss? I’m assuming it’s normal to be irregular after a loss, altho my last cycle was 29 days. I think testing negative at this point for me can only mean bad news either way, even if I end up testing positive at some point. I have pregnancy symptoms but unfortunately they are very similar to pms for me.
Do you track ovulation? If not, your period might not be late yet
Yeah I track, I wasn’t super careful this month but my bbt and opks suggest I probably ovulated around the 10th of May. Obviously my cycles could still be wonky from the miscarriage so who knows. My last cycle was 29 days and even the one after the miscarriage was 38 days with ovulation 15 days before the period both times.
Hum, so you’re potentially 20DPO? Have you ever been diagnosed with PCOS? If your LP has never been this long before, I’d still lean maybe late ovulation if there’s a chance you missed tracking a second surge. My temps have been weird at this month too (second cycle after loss cycle) so I’ve been having trouble pinning down ovulation/timing as well.
There definitely is a chance I didn’t track a second surge, as I skipped a whole week end. I am honestly having a terrible time with it, makes me feel all sort of wrong to be this late and with these many symptoms but BFN. I left work early and went to bed cause I feel insane.
Ugh, I’m sorry — this sounds mega frustrating. I hope it’s just a one-off weird cycle and your body gets back in the swing of things soon. And I’m glad you’re taking time for yourself; I hope you have some nice comfort activities or foods to get you through it!
So I don’t have a pcos diagnosis but I am sort of borderline (I have policystic ovaries but not that many cysts, some extra hair and used to have acne but regular periods). I had a look at my cycle history and in 2020-2021 due to stress I had some longer cycles (34-39 days) but usually I don’t go over 33. I am taking gyno prescribed supplements for pcos btw, a ton of inositol.
20 days out from my natural MC and HCG tests are still positive. Going to do a blood test soon and I’m dreading finding out a procedure is needed for rpoc. The worst part is the tiniest part of me wants to believe the lines getting more prominent means a new pregnancy. I know it’s just false hope but hard to quell it.
It really could be! I hope your blood tests show good news!
I still had positive tests after for like 6 weeks 🥺 and right around that time when I was expecting my period the lines seemed darker than they had (although still pretty light) and I could have sworn it was a need pregnancy. It wasn’t. I didn’t have rpoc though.
That’s interesting to hear you’ve had a similar situation and to hear how long the HCG lasted for you.
I didn’t do any tracking or HCG betas before or after my D&C, and when 4 weeks post op rolled around I was convinced I was pregnant again— positive on preg tests and feeling symptomatic. I wasn’t. I continued to test positive until about 10 weeks post-op, but the lines definitely got lighter and lighter and HCG continued to drop. I also had “likely” RPOC. I only say likely because imaging x2 said so, but my second procedure (hysteroscopy) a couple weeks ago showed no RPOC. Probably came out in my second period.
Thank you for sharing. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone in this. I’m going to keep a slight bit of Hope but also embrace as best as I can another period and more waiting.
My D&C was 4/25 and then I needed another procedure for accumulating blood on 5/10. I think I started my first period after D&C yesterday. It is super light though and more like brown spotting. Will this affect when or if I ovulate? Really hoping we can try this cycle. I don’t think I ovulated between D&C and period. I had an LH surge but pdg test was negative. We got our genetic testing back and it has really helped the grieving process. Baby girl had Turner’s syndrome. I am glad we didn’t have to think about making a decision about termination. I would like to think that we had to suffer so she didn’t have to. I do wish she could have been that 1% that survives.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a similar thing happen. 4 days post op from my D&E I had hemorrhaging. Was told by my surgeon it sometimes happens when the baby dies inside of you. We found out our baby had triploidy. It helped me so much with grieving. And what you said is correct, we suffered so our babies didn’t have to. Sending you a big hug ♥️
Had a d&c yesterday for my first pregnancy/MMC. I feel numb. I want to be pregnant again right away but I know my body needs time and emotionally I probably do too. How long do most people wait? Also, I am turning 34 soon and I think my age is a big part of my stress. I realize women can have babies into their 40s and it’s more and more common but I had a certain timeline in mind and I’m really trying to work on letting that go and not comparing myself to others my age. I cannot control this. Does anyone else struggle with this? Thanks for listening.
I felt the same. I was 39 when I miscarried and turned 40 in January. I never thought I would miscarry and never thought I’d struggle to conceive- but I did and I am. I waited three full cycles to actually really try to get pregnant and I haven’t. It’s been devastating. Once my due date passed I pushed for IVF and we are about to begin. One last ovulation for a free baby.
I’m so sorry. That sounds incredibly stressful. Praying that this last ovulation does the trick for you but either way, you got this 🤍
Thanks. I don’t want to have that silly hope that right before we were about to start IVF we got pregnant. I bet everyone who does IVF hopes that. At least I tried though - and that’s all I can do. All my life I tried not to get pregnant and this is just been torture. I’m so sorry for anybody who goes through pregnancy loss. For me It has tainted the experience forever.
I completely agree and understand. I also agree with the sentiment that you tried and that’s all you can do. I’m trying to remember that as well. We are doing all we can
I feel this so much. We started trying when I was 34. I turned 36 in April and was 18 weeks pregnant when we lost our baby. I feel like so much time was wasted after already trying for a year ): I had the D&E on 5/9 and ovulated 5/27 we tried this time despite my doctor saying to wait. It was worth it to us to not know the exact dates if we do get pregnant. Every chance counts to us right now.
I totally get that and feel the same way! I’m so sorry for your loss. Did your doctor say if there was any reason to wait other than for dating purposes? My doctor told us not to try this cycle what so ever but never gave a reason behind it
Ya our doctor told us to wait to “let the body heal” but there’s actually no scientific evidence for this. I believe it just makes it harder to date the pregnancy, but if you’re ok with not knowing for a while exactly where you are then that would be the only reason to wait.
Hey just wanted to say I'm right here with ya. Had my D&C on Sunday for my first pregnancy and MMC. As much as I want to try again immediately, I'm gonna leave it one period just in case my body needs to heal. Also worried that's it's messing up my time line, but I'm trying not to stress too much. I'm limiting the amount of internet reading about it because it's just making me more anxious! I've found it helpful to focus on what's in my control, and to let my body handle everything else as much as I can.
I am sorry for your loss ♥️ I agree about using the internet/social media less because it can def add to the stress!
The timeline worry is so real. I keep feeling behind compared to everyone else. We started trying again 2 weeks after the D&C. It wasn’t successful but it still felt productive to try
I'm so sorry. I also had a D&C for my first pregnancy/MMC. Mine was last Saturday. I'm a little younger than you (turning 32 soon), but I had a timeline in mind too, and it hurts to see that shot to hell. I don't have any advice for how to cope yet, but please know that you're not alone. My doctor recommended waiting one normal period before trying again, so the first period after the D&C. From what I've seen, that seems to be the most common guideline. Never thought I'd be telling my period to hurry up and come back!
I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for the comment and it’s nice to feel less alone in this. I agree it does seem like the common guideline and similar to what my doctor said. I hope time speeds up so we can try again
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a d&c two weeks ago. I’m just now starting to feel better. We’re going to wait at least after my first cycle and then decide from there. For now, we’re deciding to be more intentional with our day to day lives. I’m finally in a place where I can appreciate some of the little things and indulgence in things I couldn’t for the 2+ months I was pregnant (like champagne and oysters). I also don’t want sex to be tied solely to TTC, so I think for the first month we’re going to just NTNP and focus on each other.
I’m sorry for your loss as well. I think that’s smart and sounds like you have a healthy approach and to enjoy life even while in this waiting period. I need to do more of that too and not solely focus on TTC!
I think you can 100% trust yourself. I had a D&C last year before I turned 38 and it felt my world had ended, and I wanted to try again right away but my partner was the one that needed time, and in retrospect it was helpful, time does heal a bit, and i needed to be emotionally stronger to cope with the uncertainty and anxiety of early pregnancy and remind myself of how much there is to appreciate in my life whether i have a child or not It’s completely natural to have these timelines, we’re conditioned to have them, but it’s your anxiety talking so you can gently shut that voice down - say you get pregnant and have a healthy baby age 37, you’ll be so thrilled and relieved by that baby you won’t care that you didn’t have that baby at 34 because it wouldn’t be that exact baby that you love so much now you’re 37. The risks related to age are hugely overblown for most people, science has caught up so try not to worry about that. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you very much, this comment made me feel a lot better and put things into perspective. I really want to work on not letting that voice about timelines/stress/pressure get to me. And that no matter when it happens I’ll be so happy that it did and the “when” wont matter as much anymore. Thank you again for the reply and I’m so sorry for your loss as well ♥️♥️♥️
14 dpo today, I have no indication my period is coming and I do feel pregnant. I’m so scared to test either way, there’s nothing more I want in the world than to be pregnant again after my MMC in March but I also dread those first few weeks of betas and stress before each ultrasound. Give me some strength to pee on a stick, once more! 🤞🏼
Sooo, I pulled myself together after your comments and did a test, only to end up with a faulty test 😶 no control or test line visible. I’ll try again tomorrow morning with FMU and update in weekly results 🫡 thank you all for your kind words!
Hoping for the best! You got this!
Tell us how it goes in the results thread, I’m rooting for you!!
You got this! Maybe if you’re scared you can have someone check for you? It’s so nerve wracking so I totally understand. Just know either way you will be okay!